Our 2 Cents Vol. 36: Boundaries Go Both Ways

What happens when people create boundaries but only want those boundaries respected when it benefits them? In this edition of Our 2 Cents, Nesha G and Moelethal react to stories about co-parenting rules, friendship expectations, public judgment, family support, and the emotional cost of being the person everyone depends on.

A co-parent wants accountability after his ex set strict boundaries, a woman questions whether her best friend truly supports her elopement, and a young shopper is shamed for using food benefits because she had her nails done. Each story raises a bigger question about respect, assumptions, and who gets to decide what support is supposed to look like.

Nesha and Moe also discuss a grandmother who has poured time, money, and care into her grandson while receiving little reciprocity, plus a young mother trying to decide whether accepting her mom’s help means abandoning her child. This Our 2 Cents episode is funny, honest, protective, and rooted in the kind of real-life perspective that makes the Booski community feel like family.

Transcript

Cold Open: Words That Stick

SPEAKER_01 0:00

No, not to your face.

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Don't sit here and lie to the people.

SPEAKER_01 0:03

I don't say mean things to your face.

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Don't sit here.

SPEAKER_01 0:06

What have I said to you to your face that's mean?

SPEAKER_00 0:08

Okay. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna say them all loud. I'm not gonna reopen wounds that I've sealed. Okay.

Welcome Back to Life After I Do

SPEAKER_01 0:37

I'm your host, Tanisha G. She back, y'all! Feeling a lot better this week. Yeah. I'm still I'm still like decongesting a little bit, but um I'm feeling I'm feeling much better. How's your back feel? Sore.

SPEAKER_00 0:53

That's because you're carrying all that ass.

SPEAKER_01 0:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 0:55

Now I told you I help you. You ain't gotta carry that ass by yourself. Goodbye. I'll hold it up for you.

SPEAKER_01 1:01

Anyway, feeling much better. Boosky! Hello, Booski.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

You look good today.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 1:05

I don't know. You're glowing.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

Uh is it because like my nose isn't dry or I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 1:11

I don't know. I don't know what it is.

SPEAKER_02 1:14

It could have been them press sets. It could have been. You're looking strong. Oh, thank you. You're looking at it.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

My chest and arms are cooked. Looking strong.

SPEAKER_02 1:24

Am I looking wide?

SPEAKER_00 1:25

You know?

SPEAKER_02 1:26

Am I looking wide?

SPEAKER_00 1:26

Y'all like me a big mama.

SPEAKER_02 1:28

I know. Am I looking wide yet? I don't want no. I don't want no puppy. Does it look like? Do it look like I look like.

SPEAKER_00 1:34

Hey, but how was your week, Lucy? We're not gonna, you know, how was

Nesha Is Back and Feeling Better

SPEAKER_00 1:37

your week? Tell me how your week. Hold on, I'm trying to get it. How was your week? How was your your fourth? All that stuff.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

Um, it was good. Fourth was amazing. Got to be with um family, got to see my bestie. Shouts out to Jazz Rios and family. I can't stand her. Um, I got to see my bestie, so that was a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 1:57

I thought I was your bestie.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

You are my bestie too.

SPEAKER_00 1:59

I hung out with my bestie. You see, she on my shirt. Oh my gosh. I wish she was this little again.

SPEAKER_01 2:05

Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_00 2:06

But yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:07

Sometimes. Um, no, but um, yeah, so it was great. I loved seeing my baby be with her cousins because you know it's always a vibe. It's always a vibe when she can be with her family, when she can be with her cousins. They stayed outside in the water. Like it was 102. And they were still off there. Don't feel heat. I don't even know why I packed her like a whole luggage and suitcase because she lived the entire weekend in a bathing suit.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

The whole weekend.

SPEAKER_01 2:31

So, I mean, but that was school, that was fun. Um, got to see my mother-in-law that was really exciting. She was all right. Um, she was all right. Goodbye. She was all right. You're so silly. Um,

Fourth of July Family Weekend

SPEAKER_01 2:43

yeah, but it was really, really fun. I had a really great time. Got to visit a different gym. Well, I visited that gym before, but you know, the scenery switch up was pretty cool. You took me to another new and I and I was like, yeah, I'ma just go back to the one I normally go to when I'm out here.

SPEAKER_02 3:01

It wasn't the best one. You all know greatness when you see it.

SPEAKER_01 3:04

Okay. I was like, I'm gonna just go back to the one that I know. So yeah. Um, shouts out, shouts out to the the guy who tried to be a dick to me at the gym. Oh and then I think he realized that he was like trying to be a dick, but it's not really of him to be a dick. Is that what it was? So then he came back and he was like really nice and genuine because I could tell he was about to get frustrated because he thought that I was using like multiple like much machines and platforms and stuff to trade. I was like, no, I'm not that type of person. And people who do that sometimes straight to jail. Y'all straight to jail. Because sometimes y'all be rude as hell. How are you taking up three machines and just rotating? Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_00 3:44

First of all, when I got here, it was just me. That's why I got three.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

Right. It was just me, and that's why I got three. Um, no, but you're like, he he was, he was looking at me, he was like, So how many like machines are you using at once? And I was like, just this platform, player. Yeah, I was just warming up, I was just doing

Gym Etiquette and Sharing Space

SPEAKER_01 4:00

some dynamic stretching, and then he was like, Oh, okay. And then he came back and fixed my platform and stuff, and he was like, You have a great workout. And I was like, Oh, thanks. Thanks.

SPEAKER_00 4:08

I thought about the I was about to you would have text probably been up and on his ass.

SPEAKER_01 4:10

Yeah. And then the other guy behind me, and he just comes up and he's like, Hey, like, hey, can I have some of your chalk? Sure. People are bold. Sure, Jared. Sure, you can Jared. Nah, now you nailed him, Jared. I was like, sure, sure, Jared. Yeah, I was supposed to have some of my chalk.

SPEAKER_00 4:28

Yeah, Jared, sure, whatever you want to do.

SPEAKER_01 4:30

No, but I feel like that's what the gym community is about. Like when I was talking to your brother and he was like, um, that's why he doesn't really like bench by himself because he doesn't have a spotter. And I was like, but if you've been going to that gym for like a year or two, there's the the same people that you see, they see you. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 4:44

And that's where you've made it.

SPEAKER_01 4:45

And you just gotta break the ice and just be like, hey, bro, can you spot me real quick? And then that's how the communication starts. That's how you develop relationships. That's what you make your best friends.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

That's where you messed up. He's been going to the gym for over two years. But the people at that gym have been getting on his goddamn nerves for two years.

SPEAKER_01 5:02

But I think that's what the gym community is all about, too. Like, that's what I've grown to love about it is especially when you have the people who have been going, you know, regularly and you kind of develop, you develop a community, and then you can get to a point where you're like, hey, you know, in between their sets, do you mind spotting me? You know, and what's the worst that they could say? No. No. Okay, then I move, then I move. Um, that's why, like, you know, when Jared came over and asked for some chalk, I was like, absolutely. Why is his name Jared? I don't know. He looked like a Jared to me. The subway guy? No. Good to the jail? No. He just, he just, okay, bye, Burris. Um, but I was just like, I was, I happily gave him the block of chalk. I was like, absolutely, you can use my chalk, you know? Okay. So yeah, my week was uh my week was good. How was yours? How was your holiday?

SPEAKER_02 5:44

Terrible. Okay, Baue. They worked me, y'all. Ain't nobody worked you.

SPEAKER_01 5:49

You volunteered for everything you did this weekend. You literally took it on yourself.

SPEAKER_00 5:55

Massa got me working. That's how my week was. I said, wait a minute.

Moe Says He Worked All Weekend

SPEAKER_00 6:04

I was supposed to cook the yams and the ribs. And then you volunteered. Then somehow I ended up making dressing.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

And what did you when you asked me about the dressing, you said, Do you want me to make dressing? And what did I say?

SPEAKER_00 6:16

You said, Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:16

Maurice, I will throat punch you right now.

SPEAKER_00 6:19

And then you're such a fibber teller. My brother was supposed to make the greens, but then he put the greens on and left. And it's a big thing.

SPEAKER_01 6:27

Yeah, I mean he was gone for like 30 minutes, and all you did was stir it and add some more seasoning. So I cooked him. Okay, then by that, by that definition, I cooked them too.

SPEAKER_00 6:36

So, long short story, guys. Long story short. Yeah, long story short. The only person that helped me this weekend was my sister-in-law. Shout out, shout out to my C O K.

SPEAKER_01 6:46

Wow, wow.

SPEAKER_00 6:47

Because it was me and her in that kitchen.

SPEAKER_01 6:49

Wow. So you're just gonna look over the fact that you made me do the the dirty work of like peeling the potatoes. Okay, now that's fine. No, it was just you and your sister-in-law holding the fort down. Go ahead, get off of me. No, she's right.

SPEAKER_00 7:03

My baby, right.

SPEAKER_01 7:04

No, don't worry about it. Don't worry about mini sweet.

SPEAKER_00 7:07

My baby, right. My baby did peel the potato.

SPEAKER_01 7:10

Because he never likes to. And also, it looks like he's gonna take off his damn thumb every time he uses a potato peeler.

SPEAKER_00 7:16

Because I was, I was, never mind. So I realized this fourth that I have a little trauma red to peel the potato. Oh my gosh. And I didn't realize it until this, this, this holiday. Because I, when I as a kid, I used to, maybe like a teenager, um, whenever uh my auntie wanted potato salad, we had to peel the potatoes. So I peeled a lot of potatoes growing up. So now I realize that's why I don't like peeling potatoes down. I don't like patilla, nothing. No regular potatoes, yeah, nothing.

SPEAKER_02 7:48

I'm not peeling, I don't like peeling apples. Really? Nothing. And that's that's that the weekend was good.

SPEAKER_00 7:54

It's always a good time uh seeing family. I we I got to see my my my cousin Gray.

SPEAKER_02 7:58

I know.

SPEAKER_00 7:58

Shouts out to Gray. You know I love Grey. Grey, keep me rolling.

SPEAKER_01 8:01

And shout out to my sister-in-law, Cam's Creations on Instagram, Cake Pops, okay? My sister-in-law, I just had the sweet and salty, and I didn't even think, I didn't even think like with flavors, I never gravitate towards things that say like sweet and salty. And I was like, oh, let me let me try this one. And I bit into it and I was like, oh, she did her big one with this. Oh, she did she? She did. I texted her immediately and said, This is probably my favorite flavor. Top tier. I said, this one right here. I said, this one right her. This right her. I said, this is it. And I'm gonna need an order of these. So if y'all are into cake pops and you want some delicious cake pops, like melt in your mouth cake. Melt in your mouth cake pops. I'm gonna need you to hit up Cam's Creations on Instagram.

SPEAKER_00 8:48

Oh, yeah, you know, so yeah, the week was good. So good. She cut my week off. But yeah, the week was good. You know, um, I you know, I I don't know if y'all remember, but you know, 315 is my goal, and I'm I'm getting closer every day.

SPEAKER_01 9:00

Okay, so like here. I'm gonna do him like he does me. What do we have today? Today we have uh you can call me up on your own.

SPEAKER_00 9:08

Look here.

SPEAKER_01 9:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:09

When I rep that 315, I'm acting different. I don't give a damn. Look here, all my shirts are gonna say 315. I'm gonna change my phone number to a 315 every call number. I don't give a damn. Look here. I'm acting different.

SPEAKER_01 9:20

Oh, I'm I want you to.

SPEAKER_00 9:22

I'm acting different.

SPEAKER_01 9:23

I want you to.

SPEAKER_00 9:24

That's it though. And my wife looking, y'all. Should I go my wife look? Oh my gosh. We talked a lot this weekend, and you know, she told me what I'm doing wrong in the marriage, and I told her I told her I would address those things, and she told me how she does everything right. And I said, baby, okay.

SPEAKER_01 9:40

Why are you such a fibber teller? You're right. Why are you such a fibber teller? I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean to lie on you. Don't fib on me, okay? Don't fib. That is not, that's not. That's what the fuck? No, it's not. You should.

Back-to-Back Our 2 Cents Begins

SPEAKER_01 9:56

Oh my gosh. Who oh my gosh. I don't I don't know who you are. Um we have an hour to go.

SPEAKER_00 10:05

We going back to back to back to back to back to back.

SPEAKER_01 10:08

No, we're not doing all that back to back. We're going back to back.

SPEAKER_00 10:11

Honestly, y'all, we had a long weekend and we just trying to get we trying to get it in.

SPEAKER_01 10:16

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 10:16

Before.

SPEAKER_01 10:17

Goodbye. And you guys really enjoy having back-to-back reaction videos. So, you know, we love to do them for you because the comments, you guys' comments give me life.

SPEAKER_00 10:28

Killer. I'll be crying. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 10:30

The interactions in the comment section. Like, I grab popcorn, I get me a little cold drink, and I sit back and I read comments.

SPEAKER_00 10:39

And you charge the um uh the uh the U L T A bill.

SPEAKER_01 10:44

The U L T. That was so funny. Wait a minute, let me tell y'all. I came across this post and she was like, there was this girl, she was like, I'm sitting here laughing at my parents because my dad yelled out to my mom. He was like, What is this ULTA for $285? It was that an electricity bill or something? And she was like, Yeah, I paid the bills. And he was like, Oh, okay. And she was, and the daughter was laughing. She was like, That's just lied. She spent $285 at Ulta, Dad. She didn't pay no damn utility bill.

SPEAKER_00 11:19

And that's and that's one bottle of perfume.

SPEAKER_01 11:21

That's crazy work. He was like the U L T A. I can't. All right, guys, let's go ahead and hop right on into it. Hop right into it. Um, okay, so well, I'll be reading this week. Okay. Because you feel better. Uh because I feel better. And be and because and because some of y'all really came from my husband last week. Hold on, y'all. He can read, okay? Hold on, hold on, hold on. Let me defend you. You ain't gotta defend me. Because y'all not y'all not finna come from my man like that. My man can read, okay? My husband has a diploma, okay?

SPEAKER_00 11:53

You ain't gonna defend me. First of all, first of all, I didn't have my glasses on.

SPEAKER_01 11:56

Okay. And that's it'll look good if you try to make excuses.

SPEAKER_00 11:59

And that letter was it was small.

SPEAKER_01 12:00

No, this is this is small right now. I'm thinking about turning it this way so I can. Oh, that didn't make it any better.

SPEAKER_00 12:06

I couldn't see.

SPEAKER_01 12:06

And I got glasses on. So um, but I did my favorite comment was uh Don't say it. Oh well, is it is it funny kind of? Oh, that was funny. Okay. Uh yeah, what's the first one? Let's get into it. Was that one of my new 40 sounds?

SPEAKER_00 12:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:23

He was like, You're turning 40 and now you're making new sounds.

SPEAKER_00 12:26

I said crazy.

SPEAKER_01 12:27

It's the upgrade. Um snack upgrade. All right, guys, here we go. I'm gonna have to bring this a little closer because this is very small. No, no, don't make excuses.

SPEAKER_00 12:37

This from a booski?

SPEAKER_01 12:39

Uh this one is yes, is it from a booski? Is this one from a boosky? Okay, this one is from a booski.

Co-Parenting Boundaries With an Ex

SPEAKER_01 12:45

Um, it says, Am I the jerk for making my ex-wife adhere to her words and boundaries? She told me back in December that she would be the last, uh, that she would be the last resort if I needed to pick up our child. She said she would give me the same thing if I needed assistance. However, she hasn't followed through on those boundaries since then. When I hold her accountable, she gets upset and makes confrontation. Additionally, she constantly disrupts my schedule since I uh started my current job 18 months ago. She also disregarded the boundaries of her family. When we broke up, she told me not to worry about her or our son, only about our daughter. So I've been respecting her boundaries ever since. I've given her everything she's asked for. With that being said, she's even sent me texts asking about women, my children, and who's around our daughter. What's more, she asked about my schedule. In my mind, if you're the last resort, how can you claim to care about what's going on? Am I the jerk for making her adhere to her words and boundaries?

SPEAKER_00 13:47

No. No. Now, I've never been in a co-parenting situation before, so I can't say that. We know because we we still together. I just say whatever y'all say.

SPEAKER_02 13:57

Bye.

SPEAKER_00 13:58

Um, but no, I mean, she set the parameters. This go back to uh the one about where he all of a sudden he wanted his wife to help contribute to his daughter's college plan. Sir, you she made the rules.

SPEAKER_01 14:08

Right. Don't come in here and try to change the rules when they don't be when they don't fit. When they don't serve what you want them to serve. No, you're not. But I'm a little confused as to why she only wants him to worry about because girls cost more. Oh, I guess that's not okay. I guess I don't know. I don't you just can't, you just pull that one out of your ass, don't you?

SPEAKER_00 14:26

I do feel like girls cost more because I feel like well, I don't it depend on what kind of son you got. Because if he wants Jordan all the time, then he expenses.

SPEAKER_01 14:34

He can get it a little expensive. If he if he likes to accessorize, right.

SPEAKER_00 14:37

But them girls, you got they want to accessorize, they want name brand stuff, and then they won't altar.

unknown 14:42

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 14:42

Then they want ULTA.

SPEAKER_00 14:44

Yeah. Then they then you gotta, then they won't, then they want the Bucks

Should She Still Elope?

SPEAKER_00 14:48

or the or the Duncan, uh not the Dutch bros.

SPEAKER_01 14:51

Like when your daughter walks into Sephora with me thinking that I'm finna drop a ban on her too. I said, boom. We're not there yet. I said, Well, not you out here acting like you're finna shop like you got a no. I do get her a little lip gloss and stuff, though. I'm about to go. I'd be like, girl, that's you better hold on to that. That's a $30 lip gloss. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 15:08

You said the bar too high. We should be at the $3 lip gloss right now. Okay, bye. $3.

SPEAKER_01 15:12

Bye. Um, okay, here we go. Am I the asshole for eloping?

SPEAKER_02 15:17

Probably not. Probably so.

SPEAKER_01 15:19

Originally I wanted a big wedding, but it didn't work out. Finances and support wasn't in our favor. That makes sense. My fiance constantly said we didn't need the big wedding because he simply did not want to create unnecessary debt. I didn't understand it, but by now I do. I accept reality and agree to elope with our children. Oh. Okay. They already got kids. Um, one of my requests was allowing my best friend to be present so that I wouldn't have to dress myself alone. I made her aware of the elopement and she agreed to be there. As time went on, I noticed certain comments being made. For example, she told me four months ago that she had to work that weekend, so could only stay for the ceremony. But with us living in different states, I didn't feel she would have uh, I didn't feel like she would have to fly in for a day. She's also expressed that she was gonna surprise me by coming the whole weekend after I heard her making plans for a weekend trip with someone else. Then me and my fiancee had a disagreement and I was venting to her out of emotion. And I said, we're not eloping. She took that moment and said, I was just gonna buy my flight. Hmm. After that comment, I knew it wasn't sincere. So I've continued to go on with the narrative that the elopement is off. Am I the asshole for not wanting her to be a part of it anymore? No. No, it's your elopement. You can you can decide who can be there or who who not to have there. That's that's completely up to you. Just let her know.

SPEAKER_00 16:43

The real question is, do you want to be there? You asking the wrong question.

SPEAKER_01 16:49

Oh my gosh, that is the right question. Do you even want to go?

SPEAKER_00 16:52

The question is, do you want to go?

SPEAKER_01 16:54

Because now I'm starting to get the sense that this is not something you really want to do.

SPEAKER_00 16:58

If you're venting this close, maybe y'all need some counseling before y'all go, you know.

SPEAKER_01 17:04

I mean, maybe they figure they're already seasoned, they got children. Like, nah, you probably still should do a little bit of counseling.

SPEAKER_00 17:11

Make sure you want to be there first. But no, you're not wrong.

SPEAKER_01 17:13

I agree. No, not at all.

SPEAKER_00 17:15

You're not wrong.

SPEAKER_01 17:16

All right, here we go. Am I overreacting to being told I couldn't pay with my food stamps because I have a pedicure?

Judged for Using Food Stamps

SPEAKER_00 17:23

Well, okay. Just read it.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

Um, hello. This is gonna be pretty short. It's just what I was told and what I did after. So recently it was my birthday, and for that, my mom gave me a $100 gift card to a salon in my town. I got French tip many petty, nothing out of the ordinary, no length or anything. I go to the store because my benefits had just kicked in, and obviously I needed to get food for the month. I grabbed all my basic necessities and was heading to checkout. I was wearing a crop top, shorts, and sandals because it was 92 degrees outside. The worker off the bat was incredibly rude towards me. She said, I hate when parents send their teenagers in. I'm 20, I look over my age, I'm told often. I kind of awkwardly laughed and said that I was an adult under my breath. She kind of snapped here and just glared at me. She's ringing me up and I pull out my benefits card to pay. Immediately seeing my card, she said, Oh, so you have money for your nails, but not food. I told her that it isn't any of her business and that I was given a birthday present. She tells me that I can't pay with that card and reaches over and presses the red X to cancel the whole transaction. Uh, here I'm obviously mad. I take my groceries over to another clerk who checked me out with no comments and in fact complimented my nails. I went over to customer service and complained about the first cashier. They told me that several people have come to them today and that her and gave gave a complaint about her and then gave me the number to corporate. I don't know if I should call them. I feel like this could have just been a bad day for her, and I wouldn't want her to lose her job, especially when the job market is what it is. So am I overreacting? No, I'm gonna fuck her a bad day or not. I was gonna say absolutely not. 1888 customer complaint. I'm dialing it. You dialing it? I'm dialing it. Man, fuck her. No, no, you don't, you don't get to like you don't get to be in a position of like service or working with the public and using you having a bad day as an excuse to be rude or disrespectful to me. I don't really, I don't really care. Like, I'm the type of person, if I can clearly see that you're having a bad day, I, you know, I try to be extra nice. I try to be like, oh, I hope your your day gets better, or you know, is everything okay, or like anything like that. But you don't get a right to lash out at me just because you're having a bad day. Absolutely not. And if that means your job, then maybe you'll think twice.

SPEAKER_00 19:45

I'm gonna say, well, I mean, the way she's going, she might be on assistance too, because she ain't gonna have a damn job.

SPEAKER_01 19:50

She and I bet not see a fingernail done.

SPEAKER_00 19:53

Not a fingernail done.

SPEAKER_01 19:53

Not a finger, I bet not see a toe polis, even if she did it herself, because when do you get the money to buy the fingernail polish?

SPEAKER_00 20:00

Well, to me, it's the audacity to comment on someone's appearance when you don't know, you don't have the facts. You're assuming, which means that you probably assume some racist shit. Obviously.

SPEAKER_01 20:10

But I will look at it from the scope of okay, yeah, it'd be nice to have the assistance, but I'm also blessed in the in the fact that I guess I don't qualify for the assistance.

SPEAKER_00 20:20

Sometimes you got a little hate on you. Okay. Okay. Whatever. But I think you know, it is what it is.

SPEAKER_01 20:26

Um, let's

Grandma Feels Unappreciated

SPEAKER_01 20:27

see.

SPEAKER_00 20:27

Oh, we cooking these, aren't they?

SPEAKER_01 20:29

Uh, it's from a booski.

SPEAKER_00 20:30

All right.

SPEAKER_01 20:30

Am I the asshole for expecting reciprocity from my grandson and his father?

SPEAKER_00 20:35

Nope.

SPEAKER_01 20:36

My grandson is 16. While I don't have legal custody today, I did when he was born, and I've always taken care of him and his needs in more ways than I'm required to as a grandparent. He lives with his dad mostly, but I still buy his school clothes, his summer clothes, his school dance clothes, his shoes. He's been on my phone plan for the past 10 years, and I currently pay their Wi-Fi bill so that my grandson can have internet for school and extracurriculum.

SPEAKER_00 21:00

She's doing too much.

SPEAKER_01 21:00

I've paid for my grandson to attend karate for the past two and a half years. I wash and braid his hair twice a month, and I've practically furnished their home to ensure my grandson's basic needs are met. Uh, very rarely do I ask for anything in return. An occasional ride to or from the store. If I'm moving, I ask for help with the heavy lifting, and occasionally I may ask my grandson to help out with his eight-year-old cousin. The other night, my grandson called me at 9 p.m. to do his hair. Without question, I said yes. At around 11 p.m., I finished washing and braiding my grandson's hair and paid to put him on a scooter to get back home. My younger grandson was visibly upset, crying, and honestly, I was exhausted. I had an opportunity to make some money picking up an order. And since I just sent my grandson home two blocks away, I knew he was up. And since I also knew his dad was asleep, I simply texted my grandson and told him that I would pay him to watch his cousin for an hour while I ran an errand to make a couple of dollars. I honestly just needed a moment. Myself. So I took a scooter and dropped him off two blocks away. No sooner than I got back home two blocks away, my grandson's father was calling and sending long text messages telling me I had no right dropping off my grandson and that he wasn't babysitting, and neither was my oldest grandson. He said it wasn't either of their responsibility. I explained I offered to pay my grandson and only needed an hour. And since my oldest grandson was always up super late, um, super late at night, I didn't think it was an issue. I also explained because I thought he was still asleep, I didn't bother to include him on the request. He went off stating that I should never without first asking him. Okay. Despite them never asking me and just always assuming I should do all that I do. So I simply turned my scooter around and went back to get my younger grandson. Two days later, my older grandson is calling for something and I feel rather unappreciated and hurt. Am I the asshole for expecting reciprocity, or should I just do from kindness and expect nothing if I ever need it, even if occasionally last minute?

SPEAKER_00 23:04

No, you're not the asshole. And I said this a couple weeks ago, I'm gonna say it again. Take your t out his mouth and let him be a man.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

No, I think they've just gotten used to you taking care of it.

SPEAKER_00 23:17

If they can't watch the cousin withdraw your support, because I guarantee you they're gonna need you before you need them. Because the second his daddy got a pay, they actually get hit, somebody actually brightened his hair.

SPEAKER_01 23:30

Wash, break, pay for karate, school clothes, dance clothes, uh, summer clothes, any clothes.

SPEAKER_00 23:36

I cut that. Look, Wi-Fi is free at the library.

SPEAKER_01 23:40

That is true.

SPEAKER_00 23:41

I cut that.

SPEAKER_01 23:42

You can get your own library card.

SPEAKER_02 23:43

That is true.

SPEAKER_00 23:45

In these last two years, I hope we know how to fight because if we're not playing no more karate lessons. Why?

SPEAKER_01 23:49

I hope you learned all you could these past two years.

SPEAKER_00 23:52

And and and and and and you what's the saying? Oh, you ain't gotta worry about me.

SPEAKER_01 23:57

Yeah. I think that's a little bit well. You ain't gotta worry about me. Like how you always say there's givers, there's givers, and then there's takers, right?

SPEAKER_03 24:05

Taking.

SPEAKER_01 24:06

And they've gotten so used to taking because it's a part of their normal, it's a part of their normal like every day now because you've always done and done and done because your grandma and your mom. So it's just like this unspoken expectation that you're going to do because you know and they know that you don't want to see them without. But I mean, it's admirable that you're taking care of your grandson, but your grandson is not your responsibility in that capacity. And if he has a father who is present and a father who can take care of him, then you need to start letting his father be a little bit more uh participatory, if that's a word, participatory in making sure his son has everything he needs without the uh the extras that come from grandma. And if you want to do, then do. But make it be known that I do because I want to, not because I have to or that I should. That's it. That's all I'm gonna say.

SPEAKER_00 25:00

Uh leave him alone. Leave him alone.

SPEAKER_01 25:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:06

You ain't even asking for that much in return.

SPEAKER_01 25:08

No. What was it, two hours, she said? Yeah, and to make to make some money. But but he's upset at the fact that he that son is upset that she didn't call him and that it's late or something.

SPEAKER_00 25:19

I'm gonna fix all the issues. If you stop paying for the Wi-Fi and karate lessons and and help him out with little stuff around, you ain't gotta you ain't gotta try to pick up no random jobs for extra money because you're gonna already have it.

SPEAKER_01 25:29

Yeah, that's I that that too. So I mean, because because then it becomes a thing of you don't want to feel like you're punishing him, and I get that too. But if you are doing extra things to earn money, I mean, that is a way that you could put more money in your pocket is by eliminating some of your non-responsibility things. You know what? Like, you know, you know what?

SPEAKER_00 25:53

Struggle builds character. Yeah. And sometimes you gotta let them struggle so they can build their character.

SPEAKER_01 25:59

Yeah. But I know he he'll probably just come back and be like, oh, because I wouldn't watch my cousin now. You now you're trying to act like you don't.

SPEAKER_00 26:06

No, it's not because you wouldn't watch your cousin, it's because you don't understand what appreciation is.

SPEAKER_01 26:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:12

So I'm gonna show you that you gonna need me. My my look here. Look here. My career said, You gonna need me for I need you. Yeah. And they was right. For sure. Because I need him right now.

SPEAKER_01 26:22

Um,

Teen Mom and Grandma’s Offer to Help

SPEAKER_01 26:23

okay, let's go into this one. Let's see. What one more? One more. Okay. My mom wants to raise my son for me. Oh, shit, let her let her.

SPEAKER_00 26:32

I mean by Maurice.

SPEAKER_01 26:34

Oh shit, let her.

SPEAKER_00 26:35

You know, mostly grandma was in the club. She actually said she don't want to. So let me let her.

SPEAKER_01 26:40

Okay, to start off, I had my son early in life. I got pregnant two weeks after turning 16 by my co-worker who was 43 years old.

SPEAKER_00 26:50

Okay. No, go to no, straight to jail. Straight to jail.

SPEAKER_01 26:54

And growing up, I always said I never wanted kids, but I was stupid and let him talk me into not wearing protection. I gave birth when I was 16, and since then, I've done nothing with my life. Before all of this, I wanted to go to college and become a nurse and just live a little. Now I barely have time for anything or have any energy. I turned 18 last October. My son will be two in July. Recently, my mom offered to take care of him until he's five. That way I can get my life together, basically. I love him with all my heart and I feel like it's what's best for him as well. But I can't help but feel like I'm abandoning him.

SPEAKER_00 27:31

Is that it? That's it. I'm pissed off.

SPEAKER_01 27:33

Okay, why? Why? Because of 16 and 43.

SPEAKER_02 27:37

Why is he not in jail?

SPEAKER_01 27:38

He needs to be dead. I mean, he needs to be dead. In the jail or taking care of his kids.

SPEAKER_00 27:43

He needs to be dead.

SPEAKER_01 27:44

I mean, like, where is that? Well, he probably can't admit to that being his son because then he will go to jail. Yeah, I get, I get that.

SPEAKER_00 27:52

He needs to be dead. Okay. I get that. Um, no, I don't think you should let your mom raise your son. I think your mother is also being very supportive of you. She probably sees you struggling. Struggling. She probably sees it as you being taken advantage of because that's that's definitely what the fuck I see.

SPEAKER_02 28:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:06

Uh and she she just wants you to kind of get out, get out of the funk that you describe yourself to being in and do something for yourself. But I don't think you should let her. I think that you should use her as uh a support system. And you can still go to nursing school, you can still go to nursing school, you can still get to get your your clinical trials, all that stuff done, and you can still live your life. And you can your mother be right there to uh to help you uh with your son while you're uh away uh trying to better your life for him and you.

SPEAKER_01 28:37

Yep. Um, yes, I I totally agree. I do not think that you should just completely allow your mother to raise him until he's five. These years are really like, these are important years, like him growing up. These are foundational years, right? Um so since you have someone who is willing to be such a huge support in your life, I think you're getting the best of both worlds because you still get to play a pivotal role in your child's life, which is I what I know you want. And you won't have to deal with yourself feeling like you're abandoning him. Um, but you also have someone in your corner who's willing to take on like the brunt of like child child raising while you build a life for yourself and your son. So going to nursing school, that's gonna take up a lot of your time. But you have someone in your corner who's gonna give you that space so that you can properly focus. You can take your time, you don't have to necessarily feel so overwhelmed, and you still get to be there and your son still gets to be there and watch you build a life for him and for yourself. Um, so no, I don't think that you should just completely become hands-off and let your mother raise your child for the next three years. Because also, in the way my mind thinks, I feel like that can become a very slippery slope, right? He's gonna just get used to just being with her 100% of the time. And I guess like, I'm not sure if you would plan on visiting. I'm not sure if you planned on like just moving away and going to school, what the idea of that looks like. But I wouldn't want him to, like, I want him to be close to like a grandparent, but I wouldn't want him to be close to a grandparent in which he sees his grandparent as his parent. You know what I mean? So I think that just utilizing your mom for the support system that she is and grinding through and you know, building the life that you know you want for yourself and for your son is gonna be a much better like alternative. And the truth of the matter is, like, you're a parent now. So you're gonna have to like, you're just gonna have to get it done. Like, that's just that's just the that's just the thing about it. Like, even after you get a career, if something else comes up, you can't just take him and be like, hey, mom, watch him for the next three years while I go through this storm and then get myself together. We you gotta, you gotta keep it going, babe. You gotta keep it going. What are you huffing and puffing about?

SPEAKER_00 30:54

Because this is this pissed me off.

SPEAKER_01 30:56

Why? She was asking an honest question.

SPEAKER_00 30:58

Yeah, but she it's uh she I'm not mad at her.

SPEAKER_01 31:01

Okay. You mad at George?

SPEAKER_00 31:02

Whoever it was. I gave him the name George. George, yeah, okay. Well, you know what?

SPEAKER_02 31:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 31:07

Yeah, I you know what? I just excuse me. The thing is, is that uh, like you said, babe, I mean parenthood is probably not it's is I I granted you probably didn't expect to be a parent at this time in your life, but um the one thing that is consistent throughout life is that every action has consequences, you guys learn how to deal with them.

SPEAKER_01 31:26

Yeah, you just roll with the bunches as they come.

SPEAKER_00 31:28

The fact, again, I say again, the fact that you have a mother that is willing to support you in any way that you need to be supported, I would say just lean on that support, but keep your child around you because that bond is what's gonna matter. Because you may feel this way now, you may feel different when he's 16 and he's gonna see you the way you want he want uh you want to be seen.

SPEAKER_01 31:46

So yeah, I would not because like I said, I feel like it can become a slippery slope, like he turns five, and then what all of a sudden you're gonna pick him up and now he moves everything.

SPEAKER_00 31:59

Oh my gosh. Um, if not, call me. Send me a name.

SPEAKER_02 32:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 32:04

All right, guys. Let's head on into because this cat right here.

SPEAKER_00 32:10

Because that pissed me off. Obviously. I don't play, you know, I don't like shit like that. I know. That pissed me off.

SPEAKER_02 32:18

Let that be like George, wherever you are, stay hidden.

SPEAKER_00 32:21

Because my mind went straight to had this been my child, I'd be wearing orange.

SPEAKER_02 32:24

Oh. You don't look good in orange.

SPEAKER_00 32:26

It don't matter. And I'd in my mugshot, I'd be smiling.

SPEAKER_02 32:30

Show me how you look. You look ridiculous.

SPEAKER_00 32:32

Cheesing. Like I did that shit. We ain't gonna we we ain't gotta go to trial. I did it. Okay. He deserved it. That's enough. I do it again. That's enough. Immediately.

SPEAKER_02 32:42

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 32:43

So we're gonna hop into if we knew then, okay. And now that I'm pissed off.

If We Knew Then: Words That Stick

SPEAKER_00 32:51

This week's question is if we knew then how much words stick.

SPEAKER_01 32:57

Ow, my leg is freaking sore. Stop hitting my quad.

SPEAKER_00 33:02

If we knew then how much our words stick, what would we never say again?

SPEAKER_01 33:08

Well we what we what would we have never said? No, we know what will we never say again.

SPEAKER_00 33:13

You can't change the path. What would we never say again?

SPEAKER_01 33:17

I don't say mean things to you.

SPEAKER_00 33:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:22

I don't. Not to your face. Don't sit here and lie to the people. I don't say mean things to your face. Don't sit here. What have I said to you to your face that's mean?

SPEAKER_00 33:31

Okay. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna say I'm allowed. I'm not gonna reopen wounds that I've sealed. Okay, you go then.

SPEAKER_02 33:37

Um I can't think of one.

SPEAKER_00 33:39

Honestly, I I would, I would, I would never tell you I wish you fall in the shower again.

SPEAKER_02 33:42

Wow, because that was wishing harm upon my my person.

SPEAKER_00 33:47

I was really mad that day.

SPEAKER_02 33:49

Spray Z work. Was she gonna do that?

SPEAKER_00 33:51

I think the other time I was mad, I think a while ago, your mom asked me, What are you getting kind shit for a birthday? I said, uh a shit cake and getting that shit her ass shit. I was so mad at you that day. That's crazy. And she was like, You must really rusty. I was really mad. And the thing is, I don't really get mad at you in the office, and I don't even remember why I was mad.

SPEAKER_01 34:07

That's crazy because I got new books, I got new shoes.

SPEAKER_00 34:10

That wasn't that wasn't this year.

SPEAKER_01 34:12

Uh oh, it wasn't the previous year. Okay. Um, I guess picking up your bad habits and referring to you as a chocolate-covered doo-doo ball. I don't really mind that though.

SPEAKER_00 34:21

I think it's hilarious.

SPEAKER_01 34:22

It wasn't hilarious when you said it to me the first time. You call me a pickle pork chop. I'm supposed to be okay with that. I said it as a way of endearment.

SPEAKER_00 34:29

That is not endearing.

SPEAKER_01 34:30

You called me a chocolate-covered call. You called me a chocolate-covered doo-doo ball because you were trying to avoid calling me like a piece of shit, I guess. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 34:40

Did it help?

SPEAKER_01 34:41

I don't know. But you called me, you're like, you chocolate-covered doo-doo ball. And I was like, you, you I I gas. You probably deserve it. And then I grabbed my invisible curl. Pearls. I clutched my pearls, my invisible ones.

SPEAKER_02 34:56

And what do you do?

SPEAKER_01 34:56

And I was like, okay. I cannot. The name calling. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 35:03

You cannot work.

SPEAKER_01 35:04

I never thought that that would come from someone who I consider to be the love of my life. Okay. Now I think I must reconsider. Doo doo. Doo doo. Doo do? Uh doo doo. Doo doo. You're special. In a special kind of way. Get off my shoulder. My arms are sore, too. Get off me. All right. What do we have for the comment of the week?

SPEAKER_00 35:33

Or the comment of the week, people okay. Look here, people. The common weeks, it don't matter what post they

Comment of the Week

SPEAKER_00 35:39

come from. All the comments are all the things I laughed at from all y'all making fun of me about my reading. Now look here. These 40 sounds is crazy. Uh like I said, uh, these are my first time. If if y'all would see the way some of this shit is written, okay? It is not.

SPEAKER_01 35:58

I told him it doesn't make it any better, making an excuse.

SPEAKER_00 36:01

I don't give a damn. Um, so I got, I don't know. I got a lot of I got maybe I think I like three of them. The first one comes from John Osborne. And it's on Facebook, I believe. John said it's like listening to a third grader read something for the first time. Which is even more hilarious.

SPEAKER_03 36:25

It's like listen to a third grader reading for the first time.

SPEAKER_00 36:29

Uh, which is even more hilarious because I believe I at the at the beginning of the episode I said I got a third grade reading level.

SPEAKER_01 36:36

And it's crazy because I asked him, I said, when you read in your head, he was like, No, it doesn't sound like that. I know. It don't sound like that.

SPEAKER_00 36:43

I can't even listen back to it. I said, damn, that's crazy. The next comment, I believe this comes from um YouTube. And it comes from Lauren. And Lauren says, I think you should leave all the reading to your wife.

SPEAKER_01 36:54

With with a wink.

SPEAKER_00 36:55

She was like, so y'all, y'all was really coming from me.

SPEAKER_01 37:01

Y'all was really coming from my baby can read y'all, okay?

SPEAKER_00 37:05

Uh this next one comes from Instagram. It's come from uh Hannah's mama. Hannah's mama, she said, I see why your wife for you all the time.

SPEAKER_01 37:16

Y'all did not hold back. I'm not gonna sit here and let y'all shit on my husband, though, okay?

SPEAKER_00 37:20

You know what it mattered? I read them financial documents and I'm okay.

SPEAKER_01 37:25

And my favorite one. Oh gosh, this was so hilarious. From Zarya 204.

SPEAKER_00 37:33

She says, I'm in here with my church lady hat and fans saying, take your time, baby. It's okay.

SPEAKER_01 37:44

While watching Maurice read, she said he's she said, but I love the way he looked out for his wife because she could have read with all her talking.

SPEAKER_00 37:54

Because she showed, look here, she said she couldn't read because she was having coughing, but boy, she had a lot to say.

SPEAKER_01 38:01

Oh my gosh, that one was my favorite. Take your time, baby. It's okay.

SPEAKER_00 38:05

Uh Zarya I really appreciate you because when you when I I thought about my grandma when I saw this and it made me smile. Um, I I I laugh sorry. And look here, people, I I have I have pretty thick skin. The only person that hurts my feelings is my wife. So gosh.

SPEAKER_01 38:21

Well, it's funny. Which is crazy because he always comes for me, and I don't know why.

SPEAKER_00 38:25

No, I can't. Never mind.

SPEAKER_01 38:26

Maurice. Which is crazy because as soon as I get back at him, he acts like his little feelings get hurt.

SPEAKER_00 38:36

Hold on. I do have another comment. This wasn't about my reading. This but I thought this was funny. Uh, it was from the post about from the girl who had gave her boy for the 20 grand.

SPEAKER_01 38:47

Oh, the where he was like he was like 42 or 50 or something like that. It was a business. And they both worked at SARS and then they both quit and she started a business and she was trying to help him. And she was paying his family's bills and his bills and has given him $20,000 already.

SPEAKER_00 39:02

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01 39:03

And she was wondering if she should just break up with him and then ask for her money back.

SPEAKER_00 39:06

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_01 39:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:07

And from that post, Bad Teacher ABC said, girl, leave that geriatric toddler where he is.

SPEAKER_01 39:13

Geriatric toddler is crazy work. Geriatric toddler is crazy work. That's crazy work. I love it, but that's crazy.

Updates on Past Stories

SPEAKER_01 39:25

Geriatric toddler.

SPEAKER_00 39:27

Leave it, leave him where he is.

SPEAKER_01 39:28

Leave him where he stays.

SPEAKER_00 39:30

Where is that? I can't. Leave him where he stays. Where is that? Hold on, let me check. Let me now, people. I know you guys have been asking for updates. And I'm we're being dead serious. Uh there is there's and there's no updates. There's no updates. There's no updates. Um, I will say this. Um, most of the reaction from the boyfriend with the 20 grand, most people have she have encouraged her to get something in writing and and and obviously stop uh handing him any more uh money, right? Um when it comes to the spreadsheet and the man of honor, most people have told her that girl ain't your friend. Um but as far as what has as uh as far as what has happened in these stories at the end, we don't know yet. But we will check. And so now uh you know, we talked about it. We're just gonna add the updates at the end of the episode.

SPEAKER_01 40:25

If there's any updates.

SPEAKER_00 40:26

If we have updates. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:29

So yeah, so what was I saying?

SPEAKER_00 40:32

Oh, I lost the. We out of here.

SPEAKER_01 40:34

Okay. That's it. So, yes, this has been another episode.

SPEAKER_00 40:38

Shout out

Closing: 40K on YouTube

SPEAKER_00 40:40

to the 40,000 of you on YouTube.

SPEAKER_01 40:45

Amazeballs.

SPEAKER_00 40:47

I appreciate you.

SPEAKER_01 40:48

Amazeballs, guys.

SPEAKER_00 40:49

TikTok family. We apologize. TikTok hating on us. So if you don't see us, follow us on go on over to YouTube or Instagram. Yeah, because Instagram, Instagram, bam, bam, uh, uh, fam, bam, is y'all are hilarious as always.

SPEAKER_01 41:01

Because everyone keeps saying that they don't see us on their FYP anymore on um TikTok like they used to. So I don't know, like everything's kind of changed over there. We still love our TikTok fam. We are still over there on TikTok, but I'm just not sure what's happened um when the whole change happened. It's like, I don't know, we got we got shoved into a little corner in the bot in the back of the the freezer.

SPEAKER_00 41:24

All the also, shout out to all the new people on Facebook.

SPEAKER_01 41:26

Yes. Welcome, Facebook family. We appreciate all the support. We appreciate all the support across all of them, but we we really, we really do love.

SPEAKER_00 41:36

We appreciate all the support, but you know, Facebook has been that slow burn. Yeah, Facebook has been like that sage that just won't go out. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 41:44

That's how slow we the tree we were burning on Facebook. But yes, we we we thank you all for all the interaction, the feedback, the messages. You guys are real ones. Um, we appreciate all that. This has been another episode.

SPEAKER_02 41:59

Wait a minute. Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_00 42:01

Before we go, did you remember what the the brand of the hair is?

SPEAKER_01 42:06

I will read, I'll figure out what it is, and you can message those who asked or respond to those who asked. Um, I'm not gonna say it loud and proud here because I'm not getting paid for that.

SPEAKER_00 42:16

Right.

SPEAKER_01 42:17

E fact. So factual. Um uh yeah, so this has been another episode of the Life After I Do podcast.

SPEAKER_00 42:26

Brought to you by uh uh Cam Creations.

SPEAKER_01 42:29

Brought to you by Cam's Creations. This has been another episode of the Life After I Do podcast. If you're not doing so already, do not forget to like, subscribe, share, tell grandma. Because if you tell grandma Tell a friend to tell a friend. To tell grandma. Because if granny knows, then everybody else does. Everybody knows. Okay, and don't forget to follow us and like us on all of our uh platforms at Life After I Do Podcast. Don't forget you can write into the podcast at LifeAfter I Do Podcast at gmail.com. You get a new episode every single Wednesday, even when I'm sick. I'm gonna try to get you an episode, okay?

SPEAKER_00 43:04

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_01 43:05

Um, so until then, guys.

SPEAKER_00 43:07

She got a headache, I'm done.

SPEAKER_01 43:08

Peace, Mooskies. Peace, Mooskies.