Our 2 Cents Vol. 33: Love, Lies & Hard Boundaries

Sometimes the rule that protects you can be the same rule that exposes you. In this 33rd volume of Our 2 Cents, Nesha G and Moelethal get into the messy side of marriage agreements, money boundaries, addiction, family obligation, and the kind of everyday relationship pressure people don’t always talk about until it blows up.

In this episode, we discuss what happens when a husband hides over $78,000 in gaming debt, why financial transparency is not optional in marriage, and how separate finances can get complicated when real-life responsibilities show up at the door. The conversation moves from financial infidelity to step-parent expectations, backyard arguments, blackout drinking, and relatives who treat free babysitting like a birthright.

What makes this episode hit is the balance between laughter, honesty, and lived experience. Nesha and Moe bring that twenty-year chemistry into every debate, challenging each other while still asking the bigger question: when does support become enabling, and when does love require a hard boundary?

Transcript

Cold Open

SPEAKER_00 0:00

You wanted to say listen here, you whore. You wanted to say listen here, you whore.

SPEAKER_01 0:08

I said she is my whore, and I'm whore whore. We be whorein together.

SPEAKER_00 0:11

Oh, okay. Anywho's

Welcome Back to Life After I Do

SPEAKER_00 0:31

a lot of the video. Hey everyone, and welcome back to your weekly dose of the Life After I Do podcast. So happy to be sitting and vibing with you all. With me? This Wednesday or Thursday or Friday or Saturday. Whenever you're listening to this. What? They don't want to hear you drink.

SPEAKER_01 0:56

They're not going to hear me drink, pimp. They might. Noise counseling A1 Day won't go. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:01

Welcome back to another episode of Life After I Do Piacks. Welcome back. Podcast, guys. Welcome back.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

Welcome back, people.

SPEAKER_00 1:08

Welcome back. Welcome back.

Our Podcast Got Hacked

SPEAKER_00 1:10

Welcome back.

SPEAKER_01 1:11

It has been a trying last couple of days.

SPEAKER_00 1:13

It has been a trying 48 hours.

SPEAKER_01 1:16

We didn't know if we was going to make it or not.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

We didn't know. I mean, y'all almost didn't get an episode this weekend. We was really trying to figure some things out. But by the grace of God.

SPEAKER_01 1:25

I was like Robert.

SPEAKER_00 1:26

I'm fighting my fucking life. Bye. But by the grace of God, his mercy and his grace. He, like always, has covered us and pulled us through another. For those of you who didn't see on Instagram or who didn't know the podcast had got hacked, uh, somebody had took it under our nose in the midst of the nights. Thief of the night. In the thief of the night, they took the podcast like a thief of the night and put it under their name. And we woke up and we was we was nobody.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

I mean, I was still somebody. I don't know what she's talking about.

SPEAKER_00 2:07

It's just maybe she was nobody. She was nobody. Nah, but you were stressing. I was. I didn't know. At first, I thought you were just like overreacting. I was downstairs and I was reading my book, and I kept hearing you, and you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And I was like, what the hell is going on? But I was like, I'm gonna just read my book because he likes to over-exaggerate sometimes. Here we go. And then you kept going and kept going. And I was like, Lord, let me go check on my husband. And I was like, what's going on? And he's like, somebody logged us out of everything and they've taken over. And I was like, what do you mean? And he's like, someone's hacked us. And I was like, oh Lord. We got oh, but like I said, by the grace of God, play us fuck up too. Like by the grace of God, we were at three o'clock this morning. I went and talked to him.

SPEAKER_01 2:53

I said, look here, Jesus. Bye. Jesus, just hear me.

SPEAKER_00 2:56

Look, just hear me out.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

I know you got me. Hear me out. I know you got me because because you were ain't never not at right.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

That part.

SPEAKER_01 3:04

But I need you to show me the light.

SPEAKER_00 3:06

But I need you to show me the life. Hey, Boozki. Hi. You look good. Thank you. You look great yourself. I'm happy to see that you're in better moods.

SPEAKER_01 3:15

Looking really good.

SPEAKER_00 3:16

I'm happy to see that you're in better spirits.

SPEAKER_01 3:18

I am. You know, it's this weekend was rough. I know. And it was and like.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

But what did I tell you?

SPEAKER_01 3:23

You said you said a lot of shit.

SPEAKER_00 3:25

But what did I tell you? I was like, it's gonna be okay. Like, even if we got to the street, we got to start all over. Yes. I was like, even if we have to start all over, it's gonna be okay. Both of us can't panic.

SPEAKER_01 3:35

Let me tell y'all something. Had we had a faceless account, we wouldn't have got it back. But since since they say they look, I was thinking look at all the videos. My face is in all of them. That's me. Sir, it's me.

SPEAKER_00 3:50

Sir ma'am. But you know what's crazy? What's crazy is trying to prove who you are to somebody else? To somebody else when, or like if someone's using your identity. I remember back uh when we were in high school when Mrs. E and uh Mr. E got their identity stolen and somebody had bought like a whole RV, they racked up credit cards, and she was like, it was it was tough trying to prove that I am who I am, but then they're also trying to prove that they are me when they're not.

SPEAKER_02 4:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:16

I was like, that is so darn confusing. Trying to prove who you are. It's like it's me, it's not them. I'm not the crook.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

It was it was rough. So you guys noticed uh sometime around Saturday afternoon, y'all we stopped replying to comments and shit. We was in full-on crisis mode.

SPEAKER_00 4:34

But you know, I mean, it works itself out um as far as we understand.

SPEAKER_01 4:38

And then I kept saying, Oh Lord, it's a holiday weekend. Oh, it's they got more time. They got more

Therapy, Stress & Emotional Triggers

SPEAKER_01 4:43

time, they got more time to get away. Lord Jesus.

SPEAKER_00 4:47

They got more like they're in a car and they're just driving away. They got more time, but they got more time to get away. Yeah, because no one's checking emails this weekend.

SPEAKER_01 4:57

So, you know, that that was heavy, that had me down, and then you know, the therapy was rough. Yeah, you know, this therapy shit is just it's helpful. It'd be having you think about shit. You don't want to think about.

SPEAKER_00 5:10

Well, I'm not I mean, you know, but that's why you have to think about it because you don't know how it's showing up in your in your life. Right. When you're like, I don't understand why when people like for me, I don't understand why when you cut my onion a certain way. Yeah, you oh sends me off, sends me off the you need to what don't cut the onion that way. It just yeah, that's another story.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

I mean, my okay, on on the on the positive side of my lips, my lips were great.

Moe Reacts to Nesha’s Outfit

SPEAKER_00 5:39

My lips, my lips were great.

SPEAKER_01 5:41

Now, Sunday they wasn't great, but before Sunday, they was clocking.

SPEAKER_00 5:46

They were stupendous. Yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_01 5:49

So, how was your week?

SPEAKER_00 5:51

My week was good. I've had a lot of things. Let's get down to what's matter.

SPEAKER_01 5:53

Let's get down to what's okay. Really? Let's get down to what I don't know if y'all saw the picture, but my wife had that outfit on last week.

SPEAKER_00 6:00

No, I didn't take a full body picture.

SPEAKER_01 6:02

You'll take a full-body picture?

SPEAKER_00 6:03

No.

SPEAKER_01 6:03

When you had on that, was it like pink, that bright, whatever you're gonna call it full bigger?

SPEAKER_00 6:07

It was it was like a mix between orange and pink.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

Whatever it was, she thanks.

SPEAKER_00 6:17

I appreciate I appreciate the love. I said, You want a baby? Because that's how you get a baby. No, when I sent it to my uh friend group, they were like, Miss Nisha, that caller.

SPEAKER_01 6:28

I said, She can't be able to get it. I said, Thanks, guys.

SPEAKER_00 6:31

Okay, crazy work. I don't know who's gonna help her raise it, but she's gonna be. Guess why I don't know who's gonna help her raise it, but you know about to get a baby. You know what's funny is like I have literally entertained the thought of being pregnant at 40, and I'm like, I'm not.

SPEAKER_01 6:49

No, we're not doing it.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

It's says the person who's never been pregnant. That's crazy work.

SPEAKER_01 6:54

And if I gonna say it's it's rough, and if I know if I know it's rough, then you gotta know it's rough. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Look here. No, growing up, I thought I have a I thought I had I have a multitude. God has blessed me with enough.

SPEAKER_00 7:11

You know, a child all a child always brings that's like always another level of like blessing and level up when a child is involved. Put your praise hands down. Um, but yeah, I have entertained the thought of uh like being 40 and pregnant, and my gym friends, my gym friends were like, oh my gosh, you can be 40 and pregnant and like lifting in the gym. And I was like, you know what's funny is some of my favorite videos are watching really big lifts by women who are pregnant. I just think it's like it's like it's the hardest thing I've ever seen.

SPEAKER_01 7:39

This just they yoked up or some of them are watch me hit this 315.

SPEAKER_00 7:45

Some of them are, really, really, and some of them do 405. I'm shout out seven months pregnant, eight months pregnant. Shout out to them. Really? Shout out to them. You know what I'm saying? I love that for you. So yeah, I was like, I could, I could probably still like it. So tell us your week thing about

Parenting Through a Busy Weekend

SPEAKER_00 8:05

getting pregnant. No, uh I'm just saying I've thought about like being 40 and pregnant before. Tell us your week. That's all. Um, my week has been uh really good. I had a really great weekend. The kid had a three-day weekend. That was fun. I feel like I feel like we've been going nonstop since Friday at 2 p.m. She had a three-day bender. She did, but she enjoyed herself, and that's really all that matters.

SPEAKER_01 8:28

She's been on the sugar.

SPEAKER_00 8:30

She'd been on the sugar. Wait, how did we find her in the backseat on Saturday after the birthday party? She was legit laid out, belly out. Like she had swam for like eight hours. She had all the treats that she could possibly eat. She said that I ate like two cupcakes at 9 p.m. She was in the backseat, just laid out, and we were looking at her, and she was looking at us, and she was like, I'm tired. She was like, Mom, I'm full. I said, Girl, you just scuffed down two cupcakes. She was like, I'm tired.

SPEAKER_01 8:58

She said, She said that I have four Oreos.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

Those Oreos were like triple dipped, by the way, too. So they were like quadruple the size.

SPEAKER_01 9:07

I said, You're doing too much. I said, Daddy had zero.

SPEAKER_00 9:11

I had one because that was it. One felt like four because they were so thick. They were doing too much. But they were beautiful. Shout out to Angel at Rod Rivals because her her desserts were very nice. That might be a side business for her. I'm gonna see how much she'll charge me to make some treats for my baby work.

SPEAKER_01 9:29

Angel sit her ass down. She was hosting. She was the hosting at the market. Sit your ass down somewhere.

SPEAKER_00 9:34

Your husband ain't doing shit. Yes, he was. He did great. It was a great birthday party. Um, but yeah, it was it kicked off the three-day weekend, so we had a lot of fun. Then we went to our friend's house. That brisket. The brisket was good. Shout out to Kevin. Called him up the next day, asked him if he had a little bit more. He said he only had what he left for himself. And I was like, So you want to. Yeah, I was like, Do you want to sell the plate or how do you want to go about doing this? Because I can make the quick 20-minute drive. It's really not a big deal.

SPEAKER_01 10:06

Um it's funny, you I I told my I told my therapist that going to Campus House was like going to a family reunion. That's how many people was. It was nice though. I said it was Coachella in the Burbs.

SPEAKER_00 10:16

Coachella and the Burbs is wild.

SPEAKER_01 10:18

You couldn't find nowhere to park and wouldn't nowhere to sit either.

SPEAKER_00 10:20

Yeah. Coachella in the Burbs is crazy. It was not Coachella in the Burbs was but it was it was really, really fun. And then um

Nesha’s Bench Day With the Girls

SPEAKER_00 10:30

on Monday, the holiday was fun because none of my friends had work.

SPEAKER_01 10:34

Oh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:35

So we got to do uh a bench session. All the girls got together and did a bench session.

SPEAKER_01 10:40

Go ahead. Go ahead. Come on, tell us about it.

SPEAKER_00 10:42

What we all did a bench session.

SPEAKER_01 10:44

Tell us about your lifts. I know that some people's lifts were already trash.

SPEAKER_00 10:50

Okay, whatever. I'm not gonna say you think you can insult insult my friends and their lifts.

SPEAKER_01 10:57

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 10:57

Okay. One of my friends hit a PR.

SPEAKER_01 11:00

I'm pretty sure that I'm pretty sure that only you and Jen lifts and weights.

SPEAKER_00 11:04

Okay, whatever. Uh, me and my girls hit the gym, and apparently, uh, so did everyone else on their family. And I said, so nobody had to work today. That's great. And then you can also tell that all of the people who normally go in the evening since they didn't have to work, went in the morning. And I have never seen that gym so packed. I looked out like I just looked out on the horizon and I was. I did. I looked out on the horizon and I said, It feels like there's a million people in here. And so it was what? It was four of us. And so I was like, now we're being those people that I complain about, you know, when they go in groups and they hog a machine. I said, but I don't give a damn today. Today I really don't care. We held that bench. We was probably on that same bitch for about probably like an hour.

SPEAKER_01 11:57

Um I get no, when it's me and you, it it takes 40 minutes. I don't know why you do so many warm-up sets. But okay.

SPEAKER_00 12:02

First of all, I don't. I do three warm-up sets. Relax. I do three warm-up sets or two warmup sets and a static hold. By the way, my static hold is at 235 right now. That's it. That's it. Yeah. I mean, I could probably go heavier, but 235. See, you need me there. Because if you could, if I was I don't need I don't need it to be heavier than that.

SPEAKER_01 12:22

You'd be static holding about 285 of me.

SPEAKER_00 12:24

Why do I need to static hold 285? But now that you said that, instantly my brain just said, oh, I wonder what that feels like. You could do it. I really did. Um I can take what it go like. Bye. Uh so yeah, and but it made my lips, you know, go a little easier. I hit 195 for three, so that was good. So I'm confident 195 for three. Okay. So I'm confident that I could probably hit 210. Like I've hit 205. I feel like between 210 right now, like mathematically, it says that I could hit 215. So I might as well just put two. I was just saying that. I said, you know what? I might as well just put two scooty five on there. Well, what's the worst thing happened? You die. Oh. I'm not gonna die. Don't worry, like the life is your favorite. Trust me, trust me. When there's women on bench, there's way too many men in the gym who are too eager to come help save our lives because Oh, I'm not one of them.

SPEAKER_01 13:21

Like, damn, she went for it.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

Bye babe. Really? Damn, she went for it. Um, but no, that you said that I was saying that I think I'm gonna start practicing um assisted reps just so that I can get my central nervous system accustomed to just feeling what it feels like to, you know, press up and down the 225 because I'm I'm you know, I really do feel like I be holding me back. I feel like I'm my own worst enemy sometimes. Why are you looking like that? Why are you looking like that? I don't have nothing to say. Okay. I be feeling like I'm my own worst enemy sometimes, and I know that I am capable of better. All right. Okay, yeah. Um, so really, really, you're such you're you're such a non-supporter. I support you.

SPEAKER_01 14:07

I I always tell you you can go heavier. You'd be like, uh, because I don't want to like overdo it. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 14:15

But I did say that I'm gonna start practicing assisted um assisted reps. So, you know, and I've got a few homies that'll help me, you know, assisted. Yeah. The gym bros. Jim Bros. Yeah, you whore. Bye. Shout out to Big John.

SPEAKER_01 14:31

I gotta stop calling because someone told me um I shouldn't be calling my wife. And then I I wanted to appropriate.

SPEAKER_00 14:36

You wanted to say, listen here, you whore?

SPEAKER_01 14:39

That's my lady.

SPEAKER_00 14:40

I wanted to say listen here, you whore.

SPEAKER_01 14:43

I said she is my whore, and I'm whore whore. We be whore together.

SPEAKER_00 14:47

Oh, okay. Anywho's. How was your week? I did my week. That's how long you've been talking. Well, bye. You didn't go into detail how your week was. It wasn't that detailed. My list was good. Okay. What about what lifts? Which lift was the best?

SPEAKER_01 15:00

I was in there. Rambo Jenkins.

SPEAKER_00 15:02

I don't want to say that.

SPEAKER_01 15:03

You might as well you call me. I mean, I saw the pull-up video. Okay. What we got today?

SPEAKER_00 15:08

No, I mean the pull-up video was good. I didn't see any other video that you posted.

SPEAKER_01 15:11

I didn't post all the videos today. Okay. I only remember that's week I had recorded every set because he the trainer asked me to. Oh, okay. This week I just I just recorded something to go on the story real quick. That's how I record. I ain't got time for that shit.

SPEAKER_00 15:21

Oh, yeah, I just record I just recorded my big lift today and sent that to him, but I'm still waiting for a reply. All right. And when he doesn't reply in a timely manner, what makes what I'm doing in my head is the scenario that I'm playing is that he looked at it and he was like, trash, not responding.

SPEAKER_01 15:35

My scenario is he looked at it, he ain't looked at it.

SPEAKER_00 15:39

Well, he I don't think he has his red messages on either, so I can't.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

I just give it a couple days, I'll call him.

SPEAKER_00 15:44

Give it a couple of days? A couple of days is crazy. Well, we got to be very strong by then. Um it's

Our 2 Cents Begins

SPEAKER_00 15:53

our two cents. We're coming to the end of the road.

SPEAKER_01 15:59

I think that I think by the time they hit this, it'd be the it'd be the end of the month. It'd be no. Oh no, no, no, it's not. It won't be.

SPEAKER_00 16:06

It'll be the 28th. I mean the 27th.

SPEAKER_01 16:08

Next week is end of the month. That's right. The coach collection comes out tomorrow. Crazy. Crazy work.

SPEAKER_00 16:14

So, yeah, so we have um, you know, your end of the month.

SPEAKER_01 16:18

Dedicated. We might start doing these twice a month. Why because they like them so much? Because y'all like them.

SPEAKER_00 16:24

Y'all like them. That's because it you go a little off the rails.

SPEAKER_01 16:29

Hey. I want to crash into something.

SPEAKER_00 16:35

Just give your honesty.

SPEAKER_01 16:36

I want to crash into something.

SPEAKER_00 16:37

Just give your honest two cents.

SPEAKER_01 16:39

I'm gonna be honest. Today I'm gonna take everything serious, guys. Because somebody said I need to start taking it serious. I'm gonna take everything serious. No, he's not.

SPEAKER_00 16:48

No, he no, he isn't.

SPEAKER_01 16:50

You see me when we get the camera.

SPEAKER_00 16:55

Let's let's hop into this so I can get to my book. Wow. Um, and for those of you who want to know, because Mike was wait a minute.

SPEAKER_01 17:03

Speaking of books, it is going down.

SPEAKER_00 17:05

Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_01 17:05

Okay, let's talk about it.

SPEAKER_00 17:07

It is going to be a good one. Let's talk about it for a second. What are you reading? Just to remind the people. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 17:14

It's going down. Okay. I low-key want to stop reading because once I get through seven and eight, I'm gonna be mad.

SPEAKER_00 17:20

You're gonna have to wait for nine, which probably won't come out until next year. I'm gonna be mad. If that.

SPEAKER_01 17:24

He needed to be he'll he and he he he around here doing a press tour right now. Sir, get back to writing.

SPEAKER_00 17:30

He's probably writing in between. He's still gotta promote it.

SPEAKER_01 17:33

Stop talking so much on these podcasts and internet. Really? And get back to the writing.

SPEAKER_00 17:38

So far, okay, just really quick rapid fire. Book one. How many stars? Out of five. Five. Two. Four. Three.

SPEAKER_01 17:47

Three and a half.

SPEAKER_00 17:48

Oh, it's going down. Three. Five. Five. Four. Six. Seven. Book six is a seven. Seven. Oh, that's what you're doing. Book six in? That's your favorite so far.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

It's not my favorite book.

SPEAKER_00 18:01

You did. You just gave it a seven out of five.

SPEAKER_01 18:03

The way it ended made it work, made it work.

SPEAKER_00 18:05

Okay, but that so then that means it's your it's the best book yet. It's a four. It's a four. But book book seven so book one and four are five stars.

SPEAKER_01 18:13

No, book book book seven about seven. Book seven about the five stars. Is it? I think I'd enjoy the cold.

SPEAKER_00 18:21

I think I'd enjoy the cult. And you see, and that's how it happened. You don't even know. You don't even know. You're being brainwashed and pulled into something until you already knee deep in it, and then there's no going back.

SPEAKER_01 18:31

And now here I am. And now look at you. Here I am now out in the world hunting uh cocker spaniels.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

Hunting cocker spaniels is crazy.

SPEAKER_01 18:38

No, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 18:39

I must have all donut is crazy. All of them. I love a Princess Donut.

SPEAKER_01 18:44

Grand Champion.

SPEAKER_00 18:45

Yes, don't forget the Grand Champion. She's worked very hard for the title. Relax. Um, yeah, so just really quick, uh, the book that I'm currently reading that I just started is uh is uh The Secret World of Maggie Gray by Granger. Oh, I've read that. No, you haven't. You're such a liar. You're such a liar, and then you tried to say it with such conviction. Oh, I've read that. You believe me. No, I didn't. I know you didn't. No, I did not. Okay, go ahead. I'm sorry. Such a fibber teller. And I literally just said today. I was like, babe, we should buddy read this. And you're like, nah. Because you thought it was by you thought it was something by Rebecca Yarros, and it's not. It's by Granger.

SPEAKER_01 19:36

Tell the people what I call her. She can know. I don't care. I call I I refer to her as that bitch Rebecca.

SPEAKER_00 19:42

He'll never forgive her for she I never. He'll never forgive her.

SPEAKER_01 19:46

And I don't call women by the word by the B. But she deserves it. But she deserves it. Because she killed my boy Cole.

SPEAKER_00 19:52

Oh my gosh, you have got to warn people. Spoiler alerts. If the people want to hear or listen to the blink.

SPEAKER_01 19:59

Nothing else. Until she goes back and rewrite that book. Okay, she's not gonna read it.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

She's not gonna rewrite the book anymore.

SPEAKER_01 20:05

I ain't read no more of her books.

SPEAKER_00 20:06

She's not gonna rewrite the book. That ain't gonna happen.

SPEAKER_01 20:08

I don't give a damn about no damn fourth wing.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

Yeah, you do, because he's gonna buddy read it with me. Watch.

SPEAKER_01 20:14

No, I'm not.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

Yes, he is. All right, let's hop on into our two cents. R2 cents. Um, okay, so this one says that she needs advice and opinions. I got that. We know. Um,

He Spent $78K on a Mobile Game

SPEAKER_00 20:28

her husband, who's 38, she's 35. Her husband spent $78,000 on a phone game.

SPEAKER_01 20:35

Oh, hell no. No, leave him.

SPEAKER_00 20:37

She said, I've been married to my husband for two years and together for six years. Uh a few months ago, he came to me saying that he had stress due to credit card debt from when he was unemployed. About 30K is what he told her. He isn't a shopper and doesn't really have bills outside of our mortgage. I consoled him and told him that I loved him and that we were a team and that we would figure it out together. That's a nice supportive spouse.

SPEAKER_02 21:04

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

A few weeks later, he told me he had listed me as a co-signer on a loan, but didn't get approved because his score was so low. How are you gonna tell somebody I put you as a co-signer? That's crazy work. Um, then last week I noticed he took $1,250 from our joint savings. I asked him what it was for, and he said it was to pay off our Home Depot card. And because we had agreed um that he would stop paying into our joint savings because he wasn't making uh as much money as he did in the past. So you want to pay off the card. Friday, I logged onto his bank accounts with him to make a plan of how to attack his debt. When I logged on, I found that he had $38,000 in debt, almost from um, almost most of it coming from game charges from a game called White Out Survival. Then I found out that he already borrowed 40,000 from his mom and his grandmother to pay off debt. Before, mostly for the same game.

SPEAKER_01 22:02

Oh my God.

SPEAKER_00 22:03

Uh, it's just crazy because my husband outside of this has been amazing. He's my best friend, and I never thought that I would be married because I didn't think that I would ever feel like someone was my partner until I found him. Now, like my brain and my body don't understand how to rectify the man in front of me is the one who did this. He's seeking help and attending gaming addicts anonymous. I'm gonna take the house out of his name, and he agreed. I just don't know how to move forward. Any advice?

SPEAKER_01 22:33

Leave his ass. Uh got none for you, pimp. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 22:39

Say he's $78,000 in debt. But it's from a video game.

SPEAKER_01 22:43

I ain't never heard of that game.

SPEAKER_00 22:44

I've never heard of that game either. We should have Googled it. Google it.

SPEAKER_01 22:47

Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 22:49

Because what's so good about it that it's gonna drive you into that much debt? And borrowing $40,000 from a family member to cover a I wonder if it's like a gambling game.

SPEAKER_01 22:59

Look here.

SPEAKER_00 22:59

Survival, it says survival.

SPEAKER_01 23:01

I won't buy $2K because I'm not buying VC. I don't know what that is, VC. Exactly. Don't worry about it. It's it's it's don't worry about it. It's where you use real money to buy fake money to buy fake things.

SPEAKER_00 23:12

Oh, is it like um when those kids ask for um B Bucks? B Bucks.

SPEAKER_01 23:16

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 23:17

Um I don't do shit like that. Yeah, that's a that's a scam.

SPEAKER_01 23:21

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:23

That's a scam. Yeah, you use real money to buy fake money to buy fake things that you don't own that you don't own that they can take away.

SPEAKER_01 23:30

That they have the intellectual property. And once they lose the rights to it, you no longer have it. Okay. We try to warn y'all about uh getting rid of digital games. Y'all I mean getting rid of physical games, y'all don't believe us. Uh I I don't have anything here. I I'm sorry. I don't leave them. This is ridiculous.

SPEAKER_00 23:48

That's her husband. They're already married. I would okay. Okay, let me ask you this.

SPEAKER_01 23:52

I got something. I got something. Fully separate everything, separate your money from his entirety.

SPEAKER_00 23:59

I think they are already separated. That's why she said she logged on to his accounts. They only have one joint account.

SPEAKER_01 24:05

Let the stuff, however, y'all want to split it, but make sure he pays you directly and you pay the bill.

SPEAKER_00 24:10

Oh, yeah. That's because you're right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:15

Yeah.

Why She Needs Separate Accounts

SPEAKER_00 24:16

And oh man, could you imagine? Could you imagine if you gave me the bill money and I was like, yeah, I paid the bills. And then you come home one day and you turn the lights on, they won't come on. And then I'm like, oh my gosh, what happened? They must be messing with us.

SPEAKER_01 24:29

I would know.

SPEAKER_00 24:32

Bless you. Bless you. Uh okay, let's see. Uh spouses and their um uh money. Here we go.

SPEAKER_02 24:41

Another, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:42

Am I the asshole for telling my spouse I won't help pay for their kids' college when we agreed finances would stay separate?

SPEAKER_01 24:50

Okay, no, no, they had an agreement.

SPEAKER_00 24:53

Okay, I'm a 42-year-old man, okay, married to his wife, who's 40 for two years. Uh, this is both of their second marriages. He has a daughter who's 17 from his first marriage, and she doesn't have kids. His wife doesn't have kids. We got married. We explicitly agreed to keep our finances separate. We have a joint account for household expenses that we both contribute to, but everything else stays in our own accounts. This was my idea originally because I wanted to make sure that my daughter's college fund stayed protected for her. So he came up with this idea. Okay. Okay. My daughter is applying to colleges now, and apparently the fund that I set up for her isn't gonna cover everything. She got into a school that cost around $65,000 a year. The college fund that I have saved for her is only $80,000, which will cover maybe a year, maybe a half a year. Last week I asked my wife if she would be willing to help me cover some of the costs since we're married, and my daughter is technically her stepdaughter. She said, no.

SPEAKER_01 25:54

Amen.

SPEAKER_00 25:55

She makes good money as a consultant, about $140K, but says that uh she has her own financial goals and that we agreed when we got married that our money would stay separate. I got really upset and said that I didn't think that she would actually hold me to that when it comes to my daughter's education. I said that this is a different uh regular expense and that my family should help family.

SPEAKER_01 26:19

Oh, here we go.

SPEAKER_00 26:20

She reminded me that keeping finances separate was my idea specifically to protect my daughter's money. I said that was about protecting her from potential issues, not her refusing to help when my daughter needed it. My

Separate Finances & College Costs

SPEAKER_00 26:33

ex-wife found out about it somehow and called my current wife, saying that she was being selfish. My daughter hasn't said anything directly, but she's been really cold to my wife lately. Oh, okay. My sister uh says my wife is technically right, but being kind of heartless about the situation. My best friend says that we had an agreement and I can't just change the rules just because they don't work in my favor anymore. Am I an asshole for expecting my wife to help with college expenses, though we agreed to keep finances separate? In the nine ahead. Really? Yeah, but he's still an asshole. To a woman so heartless. She's an asshole?

SPEAKER_01 27:19

No, he's the asshole.

SPEAKER_00 27:21

Oh no, he's asked, but he's asking, is he is um She is not an asshole.

SPEAKER_01 27:25

Okay, sir. You set the parameters. Right. Now the parameters don't suit your needs. Yep. Congratulations to your daughter over getting to a pretty good university. Shout out to her. You did something right. But unfortunately, sir. She can only go for a year. And a half. Here's my question. Why did you not go to her mother first instead of your wife?

SPEAKER_00 27:53

That's true too. Why wasn't mom? Why wasn't her mom also keeping the same account? Or maybe it was an account they both were paying into.

SPEAKER_01 28:00

I digress. It don't matter.

SPEAKER_00 28:01

Yeah, it really doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_01 28:02

You set the parameters.

SPEAKER_00 28:04

And you set the bam. And he set the parameters based on protecting the money that he was setting aside for his daughter.

SPEAKER_01 28:09

Well, you know, whatever money your new wife is setting aside, it may be for your retirement.

SPEAKER_00 28:14

Could be. No, she set her own financial goals. I'm pretty sure retirement is one of her goals. Yeah, they're in their 40s. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 28:21

Um, sir, I don't think she's wrong at all. I think you played your cards wrong. So you thought you thought you were being slick keeping your money to yourself.

SPEAKER_00 28:28

And then when you needed a little extra, you thought you could just go to your wife because she's your wife, and family help family. She said, nah, Pam, you don't stick to your words.

SPEAKER_01 28:38

Look here. You are right. Family does help family. When they can. But everything has boundaries, limitations. Yeah. And just because we got the same blood, or our grandmothers are know each other or sisters or brothers or whatever, tell me I know you.

SPEAKER_00 28:54

Bye, Maurice. I don't know you like that. I don't know you, Pam. I don't know you like that. Sir, she's not an asshole. She's not an asshole.

SPEAKER_01 29:01

Pam, keep your money.

SPEAKER_00 29:02

Yeah, you're gonna have to figure that out. But I I am confident that you can come up with something.

SPEAKER_01 29:07

And hold on. Wait a minute. I got something else. Look here. Oh my gosh. To your daughter that's being cold to her stepmom because she won't spend her money on her.

SPEAKER_00 29:15

No, she's being cold because of how her dad has framed it. Oh, okay. That's why. Because he's basically framed it like your stepmom is being a bitch because she doesn't want to help put you through school.

SPEAKER_01 29:24

Okay, well, if that's the case, sir, you're an asshole and your daughter's being an asshole as well.

SPEAKER_00 29:28

So, um, how much privacy our neighbors owed in a backyard fight? I need your opinion.

SPEAKER_01 29:36

Were they naked?

SPEAKER_00 29:37

My spouse and I spent a lot of time outside because we have a young kid. We sit in our screened in porch a lot, grill, garden, let our kids splash around in the pool, etc. We're honestly pretty low-key. No parties, no huge groups or people, um, no blasting music until midnight. We're usually inside by seven and in bed by 10. Those are good, respectful neighbors. I like those neighbors. Our houses are maybe 40 feet apart, and the fences to our yards are basically back to back. So hearing people outside is just a part of living here. If people are on their porch or in their yard, you can hear their conversation sometimes, especially in the summer when everyone has their windows open. Today, our neighbors came outside fighting, and after we had already been outside for a while, I just ignored it and continued playing with my kid. When I suddenly hear the neighbor yell, these nosy fucking neighbors won't go in the fucking house so we can fucking talk. The thing is, we were literally already outside minding our own business before they even

Neighbor Fights & Backyard Privacy

SPEAKER_00 30:39

came out there. We weren't sitting there trying to eavesdrop. Trust me, given the option, I wouldn't be out there playing uh the floor is lava in 100 degree weather either. But here we are. I mean, yeah, I'd be lying if I said that we didn't overhear their fights before because they fight outside a few times a week. If somebody is yelling, locking each other out of the house, slamming doors, peeling off in the driveway next door, people are gonna hear it. We just ignore it and we continue about our business. But I'm genuinely confused by the expectations here. Are we supposed to pack up our kids and go inside every single time they decide to have an argument on their back porch? Now I feel weirdly conscious about simply being um outside at all, which honestly pisses me off because our porch is basically our unwind space, and we literally just bought a small pool for the summer. Am I being crazy or is it unreasonable as hell to expect neighbors to leave their own yard so you can argue privately outside?

SPEAKER_01 31:37

You're not being crazy at all.

SPEAKER_00 31:38

You're not being crazy at all. Here's my problem. Arguing privately outside?

SPEAKER_01 31:42

Here's my problem.

SPEAKER_00 31:43

Crazy work.

SPEAKER_01 31:44

I would say at least I would say I would have petty me. Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_00 31:48

I would say, look, I would have yelled back.

SPEAKER_01 31:52

I would have yelled back.

SPEAKER_00 31:53

I would have yelled back.

SPEAKER_01 31:55

But I wouldn't yell back. Can you make the argument more exciting? No. Because because we keep tuning into the series. We trying to we're trying to get we f we keep getting reruns. Right, we're trying to get the plot detail.

SPEAKER_00 32:08

If you guys can just change it up a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 32:11

Right.

SPEAKER_00 32:12

Can we can we you argued about this last week? Is it not resolved yet?

SPEAKER_01 32:19

No, they they uh they they they effing crazy.

SPEAKER_00 32:24

But listen, but listen to what he said. You're arguing privately outside.

SPEAKER_01 32:31

Right.

SPEAKER_00 32:31

Okay, so if you know that our backyard, like our backyard, our backyard is the exact same way. It backs up to two neighbors. If we just yeah, four, if we decided to go outside and have an argument, literally both of their living rooms are right there. Oh, yeah. They're going where do people spend time in the house? Their living room. The only thing between our argument and our neighbor is their sliding door.

SPEAKER_01 32:54

And a fence.

SPEAKER_00 32:55

And a fence. So it's not a private conversation if we decide to take our argument outside. And then for you to yell, the fucking neighbors won't go inside so we can fucking talk. No, because I'm on my fucking property. Go inside of yours. There's a closet. We've argued in the closet before. Go to the fucking closet. Like everybody else does. Oh, she was asleep only. Yes. I didn't want her to hear. So we closed the bedroom door, then we went into the closet and we closed that door. The things we do to protect her. She don't deserve us. Bye. I mean, we have disagreements in front of her now, but I think that's also important because we also have reconciliation in front of her, too. Um, but yeah, I think such a good marriage.

SPEAKER_01 33:49

She get on my damn nerves while I'm over.

SPEAKER_00 33:52

Um, uh, yeah. Yeah, it's no, you're not.

SPEAKER_01 33:56

You wasted your time writing that shit.

SPEAKER_00 33:57

Yeah, that's no, you're not wrong. And you know you're not wrong, but we appreciate it. Um, am I overreacting if I break up with my boyfriend in the morning?

SPEAKER_01 34:06

Probably not. Let's get into it.

SPEAKER_00 34:08

Um, a few weeks ago, my boyfriend got mad at me. I don't even remember the reason. It was something stupid. Uh, and he proceeded to drink a whole bottle of whiskey and get blackout drunk. I was honestly scared for my life. He wouldn't respond to me. He was vomiting. It was um overall just not well.

Blackout Drinking Becomes a Red Flag

SPEAKER_00 34:23

I told myself that night that I'm not dealing with that again. I won't live with a drunk, and I will not subject myself to that type of behavior. That's good for you. Tonight he got mad at me again over a video game. There goes those damn video games again.

SPEAKER_01 34:37

Don't look at me.

SPEAKER_00 34:38

Um, he must have drank another bottle because at 3 a.m. I woke up and heard groaning and grunting coming from the living room. So I ran inside. He wouldn't respond to me again. He was laying on the couch in vomit, and his underwear had pissed on them. It's all over the couch. I called my family member, and while my brother was on his way, I heard a thud and he fell off the couch and was dry heaving, still not responding. I managed to get him on his side. In the midst of all this, he somehow got back on the couch and took all of his clothes off. So he was naked. I nearly called 911. My brother has been here for the last hour, counting his breaths and taking his temperature. I'm so embarrassed and scared. I don't want this life. He clearly has a problem. Am I supposed to get him help first? Is this my responsibility? Am I supposed to fight for this with him for giving up? Or can I just break the lease and go back home? I don't want this life sitting here staying awake to make sure he's okay. It's terrifying, and I deserve so much more, and so does he. Am I wrong? No, no, girl. No, you're you're seeing the red flag, and you're you're seeing her colors. Congratulations! You know your colors. Welcome. You know your colors. Good for you. Follow your first thought. The thought that you're having right now.

SPEAKER_01 35:57

This is what I say, do leave. Wait, wait till Pissy wake up. Bye.

SPEAKER_00 36:03

Wait till he's conscious and responding, and then just gently let him know.

SPEAKER_01 36:07

But wait till he wakes up so he can see the mess around him. Don't forget. Yeah. Let him see the mess around him and say, and this is why I'm leaving.

SPEAKER_00 36:14

I can't do this. I don't want to, because if you're doing this now, don't it's only gonna get worse if I stay around. Yeah. Like he and and he wants to get drunk. Like, there's a difference between drinking to like relax or socially. And then when you drink to blackout, I used to drink socially when I was younger. I used to drink socially. I was never a big drinker, but I used to drink socially. Who knows? Maybe I'll decide again at 50 to drink. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 36:40

50 is crazy.

SPEAKER_00 36:41

It's not. Um, let's see.

SPEAKER_01 36:43

Last one.

SPEAKER_00 36:43

Am I the yes? Am I the asshole for not wanting to babysit?

SPEAKER_01 36:47

No. Probably not. No, we ain't gotta read this.

SPEAKER_00 36:49

Probably not.

SPEAKER_01 36:50

No.

SPEAKER_00 36:51

My brother brings my niece and nephew almost every day, three and one, because they have plans almost every day. Parties, shopping. His wife gets upset when I can't watch them. It gets really exhausting to watch both of them. Um, I do like taking care of them though. His wife is constantly going out with her friends or just going shopping. And my brother at the same time doesn't want to watch them. There have been times where I have talked with them about it, but it feels as if nothing really changes. I've gotten in a couple of fights with his wife, too, for not letting her know that I'm not home because at the same time, they also never call to tell me that they're bringing the kids over.

Family Taking Advantage of Free Babysitting

SPEAKER_00 37:30

The lack of clarification leaves me confused, and I'm unsure at the point what to do because I don't want to babysit almost every day. I do understand that life does happen and that they have to go shopping, but it needs to come to an end at some point because now I'm unsure of how to confront them without it leading to a massive argument. They will think that I don't like babysitting. I have both school and work as well. Am I the asshole for not wanting to babysit them?

SPEAKER_01 37:56

Fuck no.

SPEAKER_00 37:58

First of all, how inconvenient are you to just drive someone's house and drop your kids off, even if it is family? No. Don't just show up. But you here's the thing. Do you know why they do that?

SPEAKER_01 38:09

Because she allows it. Because she allows it. She hasn't set a boundary. Here's my thing.

SPEAKER_00 38:13

Put up a fence, set a boundary something.

SPEAKER_01 38:15

I let them know that you gotta call me before you bring the kids over here. No, you have to ask. And call and ask. And if I'm free, I will watch them. And the next time they bring them kids over there, don't you? I'm looking at you from the uh opening blinds.

SPEAKER_00 38:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:26

And if they leave them outside, call the police and call CPS.

SPEAKER_00 38:29

Yep. Yep. Because that's just, and then she's not doing nothing. She just hanging out with her friends. She likes let me go drop these kids off so I can live my best life.

SPEAKER_01 38:38

People appropriating that don't want to have kids. How do you have kids and now you want to live your life? You're supposed to live your life before you have the kids.

SPEAKER_00 38:47

Because the kids make them realize that the life that they had before wasn't so bad.

SPEAKER_02 38:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 38:52

That's what it was. And they was like, you know what? Being on my own, it wasn't so terrible. Because now I gotta be with you 24-7. It's just and you always want something, and you always hungry. Let me find you a sitter, I can drop you off.

SPEAKER_01 39:08

It's just really sad that there's so many people out there here that can't have kids. Oh, that trust me.

SPEAKER_00 39:16

That's one of the things that really grinds my gear, that that just like grinds my gear. Is you do have so many people out there who wish they could like have a family, start a family, and then you have people who do it and it appears like they take it for granted sometimes, you know? Um, you I mean that's just stop.

SPEAKER_01 39:35

Wait, wait a minute. Don't be shooting them beer. They take that shit for granted.

SPEAKER_00 39:39

No, all of them sometimes you give people slack. No, I don't believe all of them take it for granted. I do think that sometimes people can get sidetracted.

SPEAKER_01 39:47

Stop putting suspenders on situations. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 39:50

Okay. Whatever you say, sir, whatever you say. I think that people sometimes can lose sight of things that are important to them.

SPEAKER_01 40:05

That's possible.

SPEAKER_00 40:06

It's not that they don't care about their kids, they just care more about themselves.

SPEAKER_01 40:12

I'll say what I said. Okay. And all kids ask if you it's time.

SPEAKER_00 40:16

Exactly. You're right about that. Um, okay. Coming

Comment of the Week

SPEAKER_00 40:21

of week. Uh, where's the coming of the week? Oh, over here. Sorry, looking at the wrong screen. My bad. You gotta say it. Oh. The comment of the week. People, she's going to the comment of the week.

SPEAKER_01 40:32

I'm not gonna cut that out either because she messed it up. Sorry. The comment of the week people have two comments this week, and they both come from the post about grandma not want to watch them toddlers.

SPEAKER_00 40:45

That was funny. Her son was being selfish, though.

SPEAKER_01 40:48

That middle boy. I think it was the middle boy. I don't know. I was young, I don't know which one it was.

SPEAKER_00 40:52

She watched his kids, and then she started getting upset that she was watching the younger brother's kids and not kids.

SPEAKER_01 40:58

He had a toddler, the younger one had a three toddlers. He had two toddlers. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:01

Two toddlers, and his brother has a newborn. He had a newborn, and the mother still works. Don't forget that. From home.

SPEAKER_01 41:08

So the first comic comes from uh life with Lenora. Now this, I think this is her second or third time. She be in there, she be cracking me up. And also, I'm a little biased because Monty Navels was Lenora and I miss her. So it is what it is. Lenora, you lucky. Uh, she said, best comment, oh, I want to cuss him out. And look here, I did. I wanted to cuss him out. But I was trying to be respectful because of the boostie that rolled in. And my wife told me she was.

SPEAKER_00 41:37

I'm sure grandma wants to cuss him out too.

SPEAKER_01 41:39

But she because he was being hella ungrateful. Grandma's not gonna cuss him out, and that's a problem. She should. She need to she need to tell him to go out in the backyard, get through them uh sticks and Maurice, he's a grown man.

SPEAKER_00 41:49

He is not gonna be.

SPEAKER_01 41:50

I watched my grandfather beat my auntie at 40. That don't mean shit.

SPEAKER_00 41:54

That's crazy that she sat there and took it. She wasn't gonna do nothing back to him because we would have hit her ass. No, she just would have left. She's 40. Okay. She got that whooping. Bye, Maurice.

SPEAKER_01 42:04

She got that whooping.

SPEAKER_00 42:05

She got that whooping. She stayed there.

SPEAKER_01 42:08

And the next comment comes from Miss Beautiful. And she says, toddlers and tiny humans playing final destination with life, and we have to protect them from themselves. A newborn, eat shit, sleep. Maybe even be held for a little bit. Now look here.

SPEAKER_00 42:26

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 42:27

It was the plan final destination.

SPEAKER_00 42:29

Because that's how toddlers are.

SPEAKER_01 42:31

That's how toddlers are. That is the most accurate.

SPEAKER_00 42:34

That's how toddlers are. Because toddlers don't give a damn about nothing. They don't have the sense of like caution and fear like that. Not all of them. Some of them do. Not all of them, but some of them will look at the couch and be like, you know what? Let's jump off the back of it.

SPEAKER_01 42:49

Toddlers jumping from the roof. Oh, I don't. We don't even know how they got up there.

SPEAKER_00 42:53

How did you get why didn't you leave the house? Everyone's so creative. You had to open the door. Everyone's so creative.

SPEAKER_01 43:01

So, yeah, I thought playing following this age, that that part took me out. That took me out for real.

SPEAKER_00 43:09

All right, guys. This has been another episode of the Life After I Do podcast. If you are not doing so already, you know the spiel. But if you're new here and you don't know the spiel, you can follow us at Life After I Do Podcast on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, um, what else? YouTube. You can also write into the podcast at LifeAfter I Do Podcast at gmail.com. We love hearing your stories. We love hearing from you. If you are not an official Booski yet, you can sign up to be an official Booski by joining the Patreon, LifeAfter I Do Podcast. You get a new episode every Wednesday. And if you want more in depth, up to date things that are like right now that's happening, always follow us on Instagram. All right. Until next time. Tell a friend to tell a friend. To tell grandma. Because if granny knows. Everyone else wears.