Are You Overreacting?

Sometimes the argument is not really about the dishes, the video game, the slow text, or the family event. Sometimes the reaction is just the part your partner can see, while the real issue is feeling unheard, unsupported, or taken for granted.

In this episode of Life After I Do, Nesha G and Moelethal unpack what men and women overreact about in relationships and marriage. Their conversation moves from funny everyday triggers like chores, football, gaming, and getting ready to deeper truths about emotional safety, communication, intimacy, and the difference between joking to lighten the mood and joking to avoid accountability.

The Our 2 Cents segment brings three strong dilemmas into the room: a husband who told his mother-in-law she could not visit the hospital after the birth, a boyfriend who cannot move past cheating that happened early in the relationship, and a grandmother who refuses to keep babysitting toddlers while working from home. Through each story, the episode keeps asking the same question in different ways: are you overreacting, or are you finally respecting your own boundary?

Transcript

Cat Opening

SPEAKER_03 0:00

A stray go wander. It may stop by.

SPEAKER_00 0:02

She's not a fucking stray.

SPEAKER_03 0:05

It may stop by and get some food and and and and stay in when it's raining, but the second that the skies are clear or it's dry outside.

SPEAKER_05 0:15

The fact that you're referring to her as a kitten is wild.

SPEAKER_03 0:20

And it's clear that you don't trust the cat. So why do you keep letting the cat stay around?

Weekly Dose Begins

SPEAKER_05 0:43

Hey everyone, and welcome back to your weekly Dose of the Life After I do podcast. I hope you all are doing great. I hope you all are alive and well.

SPEAKER_03 0:52

I am doing better than great. Oh. I am doing stale. I'm doing stupendous. Because my wife is dragging that wagon. I'm in love with the cocoa. And she, you the cocoa. Because I like my women black.

SPEAKER_01 1:08

Got it for the Lord.

SPEAKER_03 1:09

I like my women black like I like my coffee.

SPEAKER_05 1:11

You do not drink black coffee. It's dark though. It's dark though. It's dark. Because you put mocha in it. But it ain't black.

SPEAKER_03 1:21

But it got mocha in it.

SPEAKER_05 1:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:24

What I'm saying is as long as you're on that side of the spectrum, you mock tight.

SPEAKER_05 1:28

Well, I definitely don't like my men like I like my coffee.

SPEAKER_03 1:30

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_05 1:32

You sure I drink? Right. I drink uh a little bit of coffee with my creamer. Right. I drink, I drink creamer with a splash of coffee.

SPEAKER_03 1:46

Lord knows I love me some black women. Right. Especially this black woman right here.

SPEAKER_05 1:50

Right. Yes. And it's like, it's this.

SPEAKER_03 1:53

I love black women so much I made one. Okay. Okay. What'd your daughter tell you today this morning? Why did she say? She said she uh she a young lady. She's a young lady, but also she a little sassy. Sassy.

SPEAKER_05 2:08

What did she tell you this morning? You were like, how do I smell? She was like, like a black man. I said, what? He does. He smells handsome. He smells like a black man.

SPEAKER_03 2:18

I said, when she said that, I said, there's hope.

SPEAKER_05 2:20

There's there's hope.

SPEAKER_03 2:21

There's hope.

SPEAKER_04 2:22

We haven't lost all we haven't lost yet. We haven't lost it yet. We don't know which direction it can go either way.

SPEAKER_03 2:27

I felt like uh uh uh like old girl on Five Heartbeats, no matter how fun.

SPEAKER_01 2:36

We haven't finished yet. Ain't that a go? Yes, there's so much we have live for him. Yeah, we've got so much to do. No matter okay, I think we're done.

SPEAKER_05 2:52

That's my favorite part. Okay, I think we're I think we're done. I think I think you're done. Okay, me wait. Goodbye. Because we had um how was your week, babe? My week was good. My week was good. What made it good? Um what could have made it great?

Therapy And Healing

SPEAKER_03 3:11

Damn, PG, I'm gonna pop you. What made it good is that uh I had really good therapy. Um I've discovered some things about myself and my healing process, and I think I'm getting closer. Um, I found out some more things about myself. Um Do you want to share or not? No, I don't. Okay. Uh I uh got the route I always wanted. We'll see how this goes. You don't like it.

SPEAKER_05 3:38

Well, it's just because everything we go through this every single year. Every single year you think this route is going to be the one or this time slot is gonna be the one. And then you get you go into it, so you're so excited. But then you get into it, and then you're like, I can't work these hours.

SPEAKER_03 3:53

Let me say the time slot is not ideal, but the route is. Okay. So I mean, it's been good. The gym, the gym, um, you know, I I think I figured out my knee pain. It was a little bit better the other day. So, you know, all in all, I'm just, you know, I'm really just like I told I told God every day. I said, I'm I'm just appreciative. I'm I'm happy that I am blessed.

SPEAKER_05 4:11

That you're on the other side of the grass.

SPEAKER_03 4:13

I'm happy that I am blessed and and he's minimally stressed. Oh no, isn't the stress is high.

SPEAKER_05 4:20

It shouldn't be. It's a silent killer, you know.

SPEAKER_03 4:22

Every day I gotta prove my love.

SPEAKER_05 4:24

Okay.

Parenting Through Pressure

SPEAKER_03 4:26

But you in that little in a little sassy.

SPEAKER_05 4:29

She's a little sassy. We she was so cute yesterday. Um, so she's going through like state testing or whatever for school. And so she's been really nervous about it. And she's been on the computer and she's been like practicing everything, all the things that the teacher said that they're gonna be going over. And she was like, Mom, I'm just so nervous. And she was like, Can you just wish me luck? And I was like, Girl, you don't need luck. And she was like, What? I said, You got Jesus. Nope, all right now. I said, We don't need luck around here. We got Jesus. Long as I got kingdom. She was like, I got Jesus. I was like, You got Jesus, girl. I was like, Do you need to pray? I said, Let's pray. So she prayed, she prayed before she went to bed, and then when I dropped her off at school, we prayed in the car. And then what does she tell you before she took her test with her?

SPEAKER_03 5:12

She said, I prayed. I said, That's all right now. I said, Okay, baby.

SPEAKER_05 5:17

She did. I was like, she got in the car because I was kind of I was trying to gauge her mood, you know? When I picked her up from school and I was like, okay, she don't look upset, she don't look like defeated. Okay, that's a good, that's a good sign. She gets in the car and we're talking and stuff. And I didn't want to like, I didn't want that to be the first thing that I just come out and say, you know, you wanted to hit it with it right away. Yeah. And then so I kind of eased it in, like, you know, how was school? Did you play handball today? Was me there, blah, blah. And I was like, yeah, and then, you know, the testing, how did that go today? How'd you feel about that? And she was like, it went good.

SPEAKER_03 5:47

Oh, okay now. Hold on, wait a minute.

SPEAKER_05 5:50

I said, Do you feel like my baby some class? I said, Do you feel like you uh understood the questions? Do you feel like you answered? She was like, it's the same thing we've been doing. She was like, Yeah, like I, but that's why I told her before, I said, you know, you don't want to overhype yourself up for something that you don't know. You know what I mean? Like, you don't know what it is. So don't try to get yourself all worked up. And when she was like, she was like, it's the same thing we've been doing. Like, this ain't nothing new. My girl. Don't play with me. And so she was like, she told him, she was like, Daddy, I prayed. And she said, after she prayed, she felt better. She said she just did her test. I said, Well, hello. Hallelujah. Now let's see, let's see if that prayer got sent up and delivered when we get them. Yeah, when we get them scores back.

SPEAKER_03 6:30

How was your week, baby?

SPEAKER_05 6:31

My babe, my my babe was good.

SPEAKER_03 6:33

I mean, besides you looking good.

SPEAKER_05 6:35

Thank you. My week was good. Um, you know, just same old, same old.

SPEAKER_03 6:40

What? Let's tell a story about what? My wife got these um brown leggings shorts. What you call them? What? My biker shorts? Yeah, what is it?

SPEAKER_05 6:48

My brown biker shorts? And they look like my skin. So it looks like I'm naked.

SPEAKER_03 6:52

Every time she wears them, I'm thinking she's naked. I'm thinking she's saying, hey, come get it. And I'm like, right now. And every time I go up and hit it, it's such a such a disappointment for it.

SPEAKER_05 7:01

You're so disappointed. So disappointed. I said, Why are you out here trapping me? I'm not. I'm wearing shorts. You just aren't looking close enough. That's why I don't wear them like out to run errands. Because I'm at home. You need to be out here. We were out here booty cheeks free. I was. I didn't have any underworld. All the way free. I guess that was TMI, but yeah. You at home. Yeah, I'm at home. So what's the I don't really wear what to wear at home.

SPEAKER_03 7:25

Um just cheeks just just flowing in a week.

SPEAKER_05 7:29

I'm at home.

SPEAKER_03 7:30

I ain't mad at it.

SPEAKER_05 7:32

Right. So, anywho, my week. Um

Gym Weeks And Book Talk

SPEAKER_05 7:35

it wasn't it wasn't a bad week. Okay, it was it was kind of it was kind of business as usual. Okay, well tell me. You know, what I can't do with this is in my gym story. Here we go. Um you know how you be fluctuating during the weeks. You know, like some weeks I be feeling like superwoman. I really do.

SPEAKER_03 7:51

Like your like for your stages.

SPEAKER_05 7:53

Well, no, not just my stages, no. Like I'm consistent, but some weeks I just feel like I'm superwoman. Okay, and some weeks I just feel like I'm a woman.

SPEAKER_03 8:01

Wait, some weeks you feel like what? Yeah, you're woman. So some weeks I feel like superwoman. Some weeks you you can white.

SPEAKER_04 8:11

What?

SPEAKER_03 8:12

And other weeks is uh who's seen that some weekend?

SPEAKER_04 8:14

Look at you, you don't even know.

SPEAKER_03 8:16

Some weeks you're early in the morning. I put breakfast on your table.

SPEAKER_01 8:23

And other weeks you're like, you make me feel that's a rethink.

SPEAKER_05 8:27

Yeah, you make me feel like it's not a good analogy for me. It's natural, but okay. I I changed it for your yeah, I know. Um, but no, that's appreciate my effort around here. You know, that that's uh that's been good. Um, but like I said, some weeks I'm just like, yeah, like bitch, you know? And then other weeks hold on, wait a minute.

SPEAKER_03 8:47

What? I'm not gonna allow, I don't allow anybody to call you that. I'm not gonna allow you to be a couple of things.

SPEAKER_05 8:51

No, I said me.

SPEAKER_03 8:51

You can't say that to yourself either.

SPEAKER_05 8:53

No, that's how I just be feeling in my head.

SPEAKER_03 8:55

I'd be like, like these weights are if you disrespect you, I'm gonna have to correct you.

SPEAKER_05 9:00

Okay, bye. I wasn't talking about me. Anyway, um, aside from that, I finally finished my two books. So I finished the one after the other one. I read.

SPEAKER_03 9:13

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Make sure you tell them the name of these books and the author of these books because I'm so sick of these books. These books were getting on your nerves. They've been having you unhappy.

SPEAKER_05 9:24

They really actually they've actually been pissing me off, though. They've been having you unhinged. They really actually unhit him. Go ahead and tell them about it. Go ahead. Make sure you're the one I already talked about. I think I talked about Judge Stone. If not, you oh, I talked about it on live, I think, when we went live. But I finished Judge Stone uh with Viola Davis and um James Patterson, and that was great. I gave it a 4.25 out of five. That was really good. And then I just finished uh and then I just finished um Best Offer Wins by Marissa. I forget her last name, but it's called Best Offer Wins. And what was that one? She was low-key, unhinged.

SPEAKER_03 10:05

Like she out of five, what'd you give it?

SPEAKER_05 10:07

Oh, I gave it a three. Okay. So it was mid. It was men. Okay. Like, you know, that's why you got to be careful when you get recommendations from people because their perception of entertainment in a good time is not always things.

SPEAKER_03 10:21

All your entertainment starts with in the criminal justice system.

SPEAKER_05 10:25

That's where I messed up. But no, there was there was murder in there. There was framing in there. There was some dragging of bodies. It was. And in the end.

SPEAKER_03 10:33

Well, anybody dragging a wagon.

SPEAKER_05 10:35

And in the end, she got what she wanted. Okay. You know, she only had to frame. But what she in she only had to kill people and frame people in order to get it, but she got her apply ever after.

SPEAKER_03 10:45

She got it.

SPEAKER_05 10:46

And I guess that is the moral of the story.

SPEAKER_03 10:48

The moral of the story is she got the goal was achieved.

SPEAKER_05 10:51

And what she said, what she said to her husband, she said, I always have to save us. But you know what? I'm gonna do it. Like, because you're not willing to go the mile.

SPEAKER_03 10:58

The goal was achieved. That's all that mattered.

SPEAKER_05 11:01

That's it.

Couch Talk Matters

SPEAKER_05 11:02

She said, I'm gonna do what I have to do, and she did what she had to do.

SPEAKER_01 11:05

All right now.

SPEAKER_05 11:05

Um, so yeah, but other than that, I had a decent week. It wasn't it wasn't too it wasn't too to replay. I can't complain. And if I did, nobody will listen.

SPEAKER_03 11:14

So I will listen, I'll always listen to you.

SPEAKER_05 11:16

You would fall asleep.

SPEAKER_03 11:17

You know what the highlight of my week was? What? The other day when we just sat on the couch and talked.

SPEAKER_05 11:20

I know, because we haven't like talked about it.

SPEAKER_03 11:22

I was like, oh, look at me, my we're not working, we're not trying to create. We just sit here, just being a couple, just shooting the shit. And I said, you know what?

SPEAKER_01 11:29

I like this half of not just in a sexual way. I like her for real fun.

SPEAKER_05 11:35

Although she came over here on this couch.

SPEAKER_03 11:37

It's going down. I'm not gonna say no.

SPEAKER_05 11:40

No, it was nice to just sit there. Your wagon right here. It was nice just to sit there and talk. Yeah, it was nice. I mean, I was doing something before, but then you know, it was a good, it was a good interruption. I'm never good again. I do like just talking to my husband. We'll never do it again. And just uh just rip rabbit. You know, I do have a question. Okay, I do have a question for you though. Um, because I don't know why it just popped in my head. That's that's how my brain works. Um

Separate Bedrooms Debate

SPEAKER_05 12:10

like when we when we buy our dream home, uh-huh, do you want to have separate bedrooms?

SPEAKER_03 12:16

I mean, I'm not against it. Okay. As long as we can sleep together at night.

SPEAKER_05 12:20

Oh, that's why I'm asking. Like, should we do like plan dates or knock on each other's doors?

SPEAKER_03 12:25

I think I think we should have a master bedroom and then each have our own separate bedroom. Oh, I wasn't thinking that.

SPEAKER_05 12:30

I was thinking like you have your room with all of your things, and I have my room with all of my things. What would that take? And then we come together when we need to come together. As long as we can risk you in your room, so I ain't gonna come up. No.

SPEAKER_03 12:42

I can't. I'll come over, I'll come over and collect the mortgage.

SPEAKER_04 12:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 12:49

Excuse me.

SPEAKER_05 12:51

Because you know it feels new. I feel like it's kind of like that same concept with having the two different sinks, right? Like it works. Like, because thinking about having to share a sink with you.

SPEAKER_03 13:01

But you know, if we do that, she's gonna, your daughter's gonna want the master.

SPEAKER_05 13:03

She's like, Y'all gotta sit me in here together. I can use this. Well, I will be in the master, or we would have two masters. Yeah, we got two masters.

SPEAKER_03 13:10

In a walk-in closet.

SPEAKER_05 13:11

Okay, but what I'm saying is, would you be down? Yeah, but you can decorate your room however you want. You can like set the temperature to zero.

SPEAKER_03 13:21

A poster, a donut in the corner.

SPEAKER_05 13:22

You can set the temperature to zero. Like, you can have all the fans on. Think about that.

SPEAKER_03 13:28

This sounds amazing.

SPEAKER_05 13:28

It sounds good. I'm selling you, right?

SPEAKER_03 13:31

Okay, I mean, I'll put it on the picture. You're gonna be like, I need a code. No, you don't. No, it's nice to hear it.

SPEAKER_05 13:37

Yeah, I'll put my study on it. And then, like, I'll have my my room with my sitting area and like, but you know what I mean? Yeah, I I claim it, Jesus.

SPEAKER_01 13:48

I claim it.

SPEAKER_05 13:49

I just wanted I just wanted to get your idea about that before I put it on the uh board, the Pinterest board. Before I put it on my board, but the rooms have to be the exact same dimensions.

SPEAKER_03 13:57

I can't find you got more. If you got more.

SPEAKER_05 14:00

They probably won't be because I require a little bit more.

SPEAKER_03 14:02

Whatever you require, I require.

SPEAKER_05 14:05

See, that's the problem. You know, whatever you require, I require. No.

SPEAKER_03 14:10

We're gonna have to get it built from the ground up because I we need a we need a um we need a jack and geo room. Like not the bathroom, which I didn't where I can open my door and walk in.

SPEAKER_05 14:18

What if we got two masters and just connected and had a jack and geo? Not the bathroom. I don't want to share. You don't want to share a bathroom with me. I mean, you still have to be a bigger one. No, it would be it would still be like two separate bathrooms.

SPEAKER_03 14:27

They just connected, but you yeah, they oh no, we can connect in the closet. Oh no. Because that's why I want to catch you anyway. Bye.

SPEAKER_05 14:36

And uh wash machine and dryer would be in your closet.

SPEAKER_03 14:39

That's fine. You got less clothes. Yeah, it's fine. That's good. But you can't wash your clothes in there. She gotta have her own.

SPEAKER_05 14:45

She can't wash your clothes in there. All right. Uh, okay, so that just kind of brings me to like, you know, overreacting.

SPEAKER_03 14:53

Are we overreacting?

SPEAKER_05 14:54

Are you overreacting? Oh, apparently. I feel I feel like you overreact a lot.

SPEAKER_03 14:58

So okay, first of all, don't come for me because I didn't send for you. That's number one.

SPEAKER_05 15:02

No, I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_03 15:02

Don't come for me.

SPEAKER_05 15:03

I'm just saying sometimes you overreact.

SPEAKER_03 15:05

I'll take that back. I did send for you.

SPEAKER_05 15:08

You did, because I need I remind you. You asked me to be here. We just had this conversation. I had to tell his niece because he was he was, you know, talking off the dome, but talking too much. And I have to gently I have to gently remind him always there was only one person between the two of us who asked a question.

SPEAKER_03 15:26

You know what? You know what? And you asked me to be here, and I simply replied. And the more I think about it, I I I blame the people in my childhood for not fully explaining to me what the gravity of that question.

SPEAKER_04 15:37

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 15:38

Because I would have held on to it a little longer.

SPEAKER_04 15:40

You can have it back.

SPEAKER_03 15:41

Who now who overreacting now?

SPEAKER_05 15:44

Who's

Who Overreacts More?

SPEAKER_05 15:45

overreacting now? Who's overreacting now? Okay, who overreacts more? Men or women?

SPEAKER_03 15:51

Women. That's not true. In this relationship, you children.

SPEAKER_05 15:55

You're contrary to popular belief. Maybe it's not contrary to popular belief. My husband is a gentle soul and he's very sensitive.

SPEAKER_03 16:04

Oh my God.

SPEAKER_05 16:05

His feelings get hurt very easily by me, very easily.

SPEAKER_03 16:10

Very easily, okay? Because don't let him fool you. I care about you. I don't care about them other people. They can't hurt my feelings. I don't care about it.

SPEAKER_05 16:18

I don't care about them other people. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 16:21

So I'm gonna don't nobody hurt me more than a little bit.

SPEAKER_05 16:23

I'm gonna list uh uh a few things that I think like you and probably most men tend to overreact. Okay, and then I want to hear your perspective on it, okay. Being asked, what are you thinking about? I don't think that's an overreaction. Sometimes it is, sometimes you don't even know.

SPEAKER_04 16:42

See?

SPEAKER_05 16:43

Sometimes you don't know. Sometimes you don't need to know.

SPEAKER_03 16:45

Because sometimes you don't want to know.

SPEAKER_05 16:47

Okay, if I'm asking the question, it's because I genuinely want to know. Whatever comes out of your mouth, I'm gonna have to deal with because I have questions.

SPEAKER_03 16:54

Sometimes I think about how fine Nia long is.

SPEAKER_05 16:56

Oh I would love to hear about that.

SPEAKER_03 16:58

No, you don't.

SPEAKER_05 16:59

I do. I do. I think she's beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 17:02

You don't want to be how I'm uh uh committing to memory every uh 56 points of her face.

SPEAKER_05 17:08

I think that's great.

SPEAKER_03 17:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 17:10

I think that's great because then I can in turn share my experience of thought if you care to hear. Do you know what I mean? If you care to hear. Um, let's see.

Chores And Gaming

SPEAKER_05 17:24

Being asked to do chores immediately.

SPEAKER_03 17:28

That's too much. We're gonna be overreacting, right? I got things to hear.

SPEAKER_05 17:31

Here's the thing.

SPEAKER_03 17:32

But I had things I had things planned to do before you asked me that. So don't become around here asking me stuff.

SPEAKER_05 17:37

Okay, but the initial reaction, the huff and the puff, or the puff, I just look at you. You do huff and puff sometimes, Maurice. Yes, you do. You do huff and puff sometimes. If I'm like, hey, can you I don't know, can you vacuum the uh can you vacuum before? Okay, I was I was doing something though. Okay, it's not like a yes, babe, I can go ahead and take care of that for you.

SPEAKER_03 18:02

You're not gonna sit here and define me as a big bad wolf. Okay? Okay. The big bad de male.

SPEAKER_05 18:08

The big bad de male?

SPEAKER_03 18:09

You're not gonna do that to me, okay?

SPEAKER_05 18:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 18:11

I wasn't trying to. All right.

SPEAKER_05 18:13

I wasn't trying to.

SPEAKER_03 18:15

You don't want to be overreacting.

SPEAKER_01 18:17

Okay. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_03 18:21

I don't, you're outreacting. Do you think it's overreaction? Do you think women over overreact when men play video games?

SPEAKER_05 18:27

That depends. No, come on. That depends. If you there okay, I'll I'll speak from my personal experience from our past. I wouldn't say necessarily so much now, but in the beginning. If I can see that there is shit that needs to be done, uh-huh. I have eyes. Hold on, I have eyes. I have eyes, you have eyes, you've been at home, I'm coming home behind you, but I know you've been at home like two hours prior. And like I said, I have eyes. And I know I'm with somebody who also has eyes. Okay. Right? So that means we see it. We see. Okay. We see it. I get that. I just need to understand why you're playing video games before taking care of something that could be above, like a priority above the video game.

SPEAKER_03 19:17

Because whatever you see, I I need a priority for you. Okay. And that's what I mean.

SPEAKER_05 19:21

No. No. No, no. So then when you get a reaction, whatever reaction it is, you automatically think it's an over-reaction.

SPEAKER_03 19:34

I understand how you feel, but the boys hit me up. They needed a third. I'm on the game. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 19:38

Okay, but the thing is that you're also gonna want some ass at the end of the night. Yeah. And that's not gonna put me in ass-giving mood. No, I mean, I'll buy you something nice, you do give it up. Okay. You really, you really, you really try to play in my face today. You really try to play in my face today. What would you say? What'd you say?

SPEAKER_01 19:55

I want some ass, you want in the house? Or whatever you say? No, I didn't say that. However, you say that.

SPEAKER_05 20:00

Why did I say that? Oh my gosh. Okay. Um, women taking too long to get ready.

SPEAKER_03 20:07

You look here. Over. Me personally, I don't I don't think it's an overreaction because I feel like some of y'all take way too long. I just mentally prepare myself now. I don't even start getting dressed. Good things take time. I don't even start getting dressed, so I saw you till you start putting your face on. Once I realize that half your face is done, then I start my process.

SPEAKER_05 20:27

I don't know. He lays in bed the whole time.

SPEAKER_03 20:33

I'll be like, okay, well, it ain't time yet. Not yet.

SPEAKER_05 20:38

But how nice is it that you get to do that? Because I have to get myself ready and I get her ready.

SPEAKER_03 20:42

Look here. All I know is that when you break out the eyeliner, it's time to get up.

SPEAKER_05 20:46

I don't even wear eyeliner.

SPEAKER_03 20:47

Whatever the shit you've been putting on. I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 20:49

But you just reminded me I need to go get a new guy.

SPEAKER_03 20:51

That's how I know.

Social Media Likes

SPEAKER_03 20:53

I know. Do women overreact when guys like pictures on social media?

SPEAKER_05 20:57

Sometimes. Sometimes I know they do sometimes. I've seen it. I've seen it firsthand. Okay. I don't. You don't? I don't normally see. I don't normally see what you like. I don't like it. So very randomly do I see that your little bubble. You know how they have the little bubble um like on Instagram? Um, very rarely. So I mean, I don't know what your algorithm is like, but I know our algorithms are not the same. So I do not see what you like half the time.

SPEAKER_03 21:21

You are right. Our algorithm is not the right, but I but some I need some of yours. Why? Because some of yours are like, I need this information. Like the book talk, but I need some of this information.

SPEAKER_05 21:29

Okay, then you have to start looking at videos like that. And look it up.

SPEAKER_03 21:31

I got some.

SPEAKER_05 21:32

Yeah. My algorithm is quite literally lifting and books. Yeah, I think I've got it down. Mine is down to a science. You're such a fucking liar. What? Lifting? Yeah. Lifting what? Weights. Okay. And what? In books. No, it's not. In funny videos. Oh, some funny videos. Yeah. And ain't no ain't no hookers come across my timeline. Oh, I know you don't have any of those. I mean, to my last knowledge. I shouldn't say currently. My last knowledge.

SPEAKER_03 22:01

Yeah, I changed last night.

SPEAKER_05 22:02

To my last knowledge. I don't know. I always say I always check in. What did I just ask you before we started recording? I don't know. What did I ask you? I forgot already. I said, you I said, you've been fucking around recently.

SPEAKER_03 22:14

Yeah. And I said, yeah, every chance I get.

SPEAKER_05 22:16

I said, you've been playing in uh other polypop pockets?

SPEAKER_03 22:20

It's crazy. Polypockets is crazy. At least it's warm.

SPEAKER_05 22:23

I mean.

SPEAKER_03 22:24

It's a polypocket. It's a polypocket. You think it's warm?

SPEAKER_05 22:26

I don't.

SPEAKER_03 22:27

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_05 22:27

I wouldn't know. I've never played in anybody else's polypockets. You played in yours?

SPEAKER_03 22:31

No.

SPEAKER_05 22:32

Um.

Opposite-Sex Friends

SPEAKER_05 22:33

Women having male friends.

SPEAKER_03 22:36

I think it depends on the relationship. Oh. I don't think it's all weird. I feel like if you have like a male friend that you've been like, you guys grew up together, you have some friends.

SPEAKER_05 22:45

What about just somebody from college? Uh it depends on when I met you. I just said college. Okay, when did we meet? I met him in college. Oh, then no. We follow each other. Okay. Stop.

SPEAKER_04 22:58

Okay, stop. No, I'm being serious.

SPEAKER_03 23:00

No, no, I mean, I I I personally don't see it as a problem. Okay. I think it's not a problem unless uh the uh somebody crosses the line. Yeah, Eliza Man cross.

SPEAKER_05 23:08

Okay, now we've had this conversation in the past of what we deemed as cheating and not cheating. And you and I have discussed that you do not deem it cheating if I if I don't use tongue when I kiss another man. So I need to understand.

SPEAKER_03 23:22

You know what I meant.

SPEAKER_04 23:23

I know what you said.

SPEAKER_03 23:25

I said you kiss her back.

SPEAKER_04 23:26

You said and you said as long as I didn't use tongue, I wasn't cheating.

SPEAKER_03 23:30

You shouldn't be nowhere by yourself with another man.

SPEAKER_05 23:32

Well, that's kind of I'm not out here with these hoes. I was literally in the gym with four men today by myself.

SPEAKER_03 23:37

Okay, that's okay. You know what I mean you know what the fuck I meant. Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. I'm done. Is it my turn? Um taking too long to reply. Men taking too long to reply. The woman overact. No, but you overreact. I'm like, what's taking so long?

SPEAKER_04 23:53

He gets so heated if I do not like, if he texts me and it's not, he don't see bubbles immediately.

SPEAKER_05 24:01

Because what are you doing? You don't work. I'm doing stuff. You don't work like today. Like today, for instance, I was getting her, I had to get her gymnastics bag packed, I had to get her water ready. I was packing her a second lunch,

Slow Text Replies

SPEAKER_05 24:13

and so I set my phone down on the staircase because I was like, damn, I forgot to grab her a second leotard, ran upstairs to grab the leotard, the phone starts ringing. I knew, I knew the ring. I was like, that's him.

SPEAKER_01 24:23

You have the same. Okay, you're doing too much.

SPEAKER_05 24:26

It's the feeling, it's the internal, it's like, it's like when a baby cries, you know? I know you don't understand, but there's a difference between a hungry cry, a sleepy cry. It's the same thing with the ring tone. Like the way the phone ring, I was like, I know that's him, and he's finna be hottest fish grease if I don't pick up this phone. And then what did you do? Text me. I text you first, then I call. No, you called and then you texted. Um I don't like this. You that you you overreact when you're being interrupted while gaming or watching a football game. Okay, look here. Look here. You get so freaking overreact. Look here. He gets so freaking like a snappy turtle.

SPEAKER_03 25:04

Look here. Since since I don't have a love for basketball anymore.

Football And Interruptions

SPEAKER_05 25:09

Why do I agree with you though?

SPEAKER_03 25:12

I don't know. Just every ever since ever since ever since Kobe, I just I just it's just not the same. It's not the same. I don't enjoy watching basketball. So you I don't even watch that shit no more.

SPEAKER_01 25:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:20

It's still a Lake Show, though, bitch. I'm with you. Uh I'm done. Um and I only really pay attention to my Dodgers after October. But when football season comes around.

SPEAKER_05 25:31

I really want to put that prank on you.

SPEAKER_03 25:33

When football season comes around and my birds are playing, leave me. For four hours, just leave me alone. For four hours.

SPEAKER_05 25:42

You don't ask for much, huh?

SPEAKER_03 25:43

And if we're playing them cow sluts, don't don't please don't talk to me because I'm focused. Not the cows. I gotta watch everything.

SPEAKER_05 25:51

I can't wait till they play again. I'm gonna do that, prank on you. Okay. I'm gonna wait till they do a play, and when the ball is like in the air or something, I'ma turn the TV off and I'ma hide the remote.

SPEAKER_03 26:01

And that will be the last week we record this motherfucking podcast. I don't play by my words.

SPEAKER_05 26:05

I know.

SPEAKER_03 26:06

I know. No.

SPEAKER_05 26:07

You know what that reminded me of? That's let me tell you, oh overreaction prime example. Do you remember? Do you know what the story I'm about to tell? No, I don't. Go ahead. About the Xbox? What Xbox? The Xbox when we lived in uh uh Rancho and you got the ring of death.

SPEAKER_03 26:23

Oh, yeah. Uh same day.

SPEAKER_05 26:24

Okay. We were college students, mind you, okay, on a very fixed income. And I mean very fixed. Uh-huh. Go ahead. Extremely fixed. College students. I'm in the bedroom. He's in the living room. He's playing his Xbox. Next thing you know, I thought we were having an earthquake. I was like, what is happening? The house is shaking. I hear the roar shaking. I hear a roar coming from that I've never heard before. And then all I hear is F bombs and shits and asses and F-bombs, and it's just going. I'm like, oh my gosh, somebody must have died. And so I wrote the room,

The Xbox Meltdown

SPEAKER_05 27:10

and I was like, what is going on? Calm down. And he's like, I got the fucking ring of death. Oh man. He was like, I don't even know what that means. What happened?

SPEAKER_03 27:19

You gotta give him context.

SPEAKER_05 27:21

Oh, I don't know what happened. He was playing the video game, and I guess it went black, and the little ring on the Xbox logo went red.

SPEAKER_03 27:27

Look here, y'all. This is during the time I had lost both my grandparents. And I was, and I was hanging on by dear fucking life. Okay? I was trying every day not to cry. And all I had in my little depressive state, all I had was my Xbox. And when that Xbox died, it was like I died. I said, this is not this is the only thing was holding me up. My grandma bought me that damn Xbox. And when I tell you grandma bought me that damn Xbox.

SPEAKER_05 27:51

When I tell you, two college students on a fixed income who had rent coming up, this cat took $400 out of our account. When we got Xbox and got an Xbox. But I got it back a couple two days later. I almost dumped him for that. I said, that was a, you know what? I was still, but I was still learning my colors in. So I can't.

SPEAKER_03 28:12

It went all the way red.

SPEAKER_04 28:15

The flag wasn't all the way red. It was marine. But it was it was turning, but that was, but I was I was still learning my colors. I was like 19, so I was still kind of learning my colors at the time. So I was like, did he like nigga? We are broke, broke, and you just took $400 out of our account to buy a gaming council.

SPEAKER_03 28:34

Okay, do women overreact when men leave dishes in the sink?

SPEAKER_05 28:38

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 28:39

You overreact?

SPEAKER_05 28:40

Yes. You know why? Because you already know what I'm finna say. You already know what I'm finna say. When you walk into that kitchen, okay? Uh-huh. If you don't see dishes in the sink, don't be so quick to be the first one to start adding to the collection, to a collection, to create a collection. If you don't see dishes in there, okay, don't be so quick to be like, oh, let me put this plate here. Okay. Check the dishwasher. Okay. Put them in the dishwasher.

SPEAKER_03 29:11

Or hear me out, wash it and put it away. Okay. Let me say something too. When you walk into the house and ain't no trash in that trash can. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 29:19

Really?

SPEAKER_03 29:20

Don't put no trash in that trash can.

SPEAKER_04 29:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 29:22

Walk your ass outside.

SPEAKER_04 29:24

Okay. Okay. You're such an asshole.

SPEAKER_05 29:28

You're such an asshole. You're such an asshole. Um, women asking questions. Sometimes sometimes y'all do it too much. Because we had, we had, we got into an argument over this. Because sometimes I had Because you were acting like I could have freaking asked you a question.

SPEAKER_03 29:43

Because why are you questioning me?

SPEAKER_05 29:44

Nigga, because I don't have the information.

SPEAKER_03 29:46

What's with all the it-balms tonight?

SPEAKER_05 29:48

I'm just saying. You're passionate about that, ain't you? I am, because that I'm thinking back to a particular situation. I think you remember when we had got into it in your office, and I had asked you a question, and you're like, I don't need you questioning me. I ask questions when I don't have information.

SPEAKER_03 30:04

Well, sometimes you don't need information. Sometimes I need you to move the way I need you to move. I will explain myself when I need to. No. In that moment, I didn't need to explain myself. And in that moment, I didn't know.

SPEAKER_05 30:14

I need to have to move. I asked you still did. Because I needed information. How about that? Go ahead.

SPEAKER_03 30:22

Is it overreaction when women uh when men don't notice the small changes? Do women overreact?

SPEAKER_05 30:28

Some women can. I don't think I do.

SPEAKER_03 30:30

Well, do what do you change? I don't notice a lot. Like what?

SPEAKER_05 30:36

Personality.

SPEAKER_03 30:37

That's not true. That's not true.

SPEAKER_05 30:40

You just see, but you didn't you didn't know. You think you still thinking you're dealing with the same uh deck of cards?

SPEAKER_03 30:45

No, no, I know I'm not.

SPEAKER_05 30:46

You're not dealing with the same deck of cards.

SPEAKER_03 30:48

I'm not. These are new cards I never seen before.

SPEAKER_05 30:51

There's a lot of wilds in there.

SPEAKER_03 30:52

No, there's a lot of reverses. I can't tell if I'm playing Uno, Ya, Yaxi, Phase 10. I don't know what I'm playing. Rummy? These cards look different. Yeah. I ain't never seen this deck.

SPEAKER_05 31:03

I've never seen that deck either.

SPEAKER_03 31:05

You doing too much. Go ahead. You're doing too much. Is it is it do women overreact? Oh Lord. Jesus, clear it. Do women overreact when when men have female friends?

SPEAKER_05 31:18

Um, some can.

SPEAKER_03 31:20

Do you?

unknown 31:20

No.

SPEAKER_05 31:21

I know your female friends. I'm friends with your female friends. How many female friends I got? Like act that we consider to be friends.

SPEAKER_02 31:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 31:28

Um that I would consider that you would consider be friends. Two that I can think of off the top of my head. Ashley Shelley.

SPEAKER_03 31:37

I can confirm those.

SPEAKER_05 31:39

Um Angel. You can confirm. She's cool. Okay. Bye. I'm friends with all your female friends. Now, if I didn't have her.

SPEAKER_03 31:48

Angel's a couple friends. That's like a week.

SPEAKER_05 31:50

She's still a female.

SPEAKER_03 31:51

No, because if they break up, I'm choosing Anthony. Okay, bye.

SPEAKER_05 31:54

Um, he's so stupid. If they break up, I'm choosing Anthony. Well, lucky for you, you don't have to worry about that.

SPEAKER_03 32:00

I'm choosing John and if John and Crystal break up, I'm choosing John. Well, that's because you choose I I I will choose Lady. Bye.

SPEAKER_05 32:09

Um uh yeah, so but all your female friends are are friends with, yeah, are friends with me. Now, however. However, dot dot dot.

SPEAKER_06 32:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 32:20

If you had female friends that like new, well, there's no such thing as getting a new female friend.

SPEAKER_01 32:26

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_05 32:27

I mean that I'm not gonna be incorporated in. I'm incorporated. Well, Jen. I'm incorporated.

SPEAKER_03 32:33

Jenny's my best.

SPEAKER_05 32:34

Even even the friends that you met at jury duty.

SPEAKER_03 32:36

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 32:37

I was incorporated. We went to dinner together. Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_03 32:40

I mean, I didn't want to. Okay.

unknown 32:43

Ha ha. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 32:45

I'm just playing.

Humor During Arguments

SPEAKER_03 32:47

I love you.

SPEAKER_05 32:47

Sure. Women analyzing relationship issues too deeply.

SPEAKER_03 32:53

Yeah, y'all be overreacting. Because shit don't be that deep. Shit, don't shit don't be that deep. So a man, sometimes a man will tell you exactly what he means. You're like, nah, that nigga lying.

SPEAKER_05 33:02

Man be like, why can't we just move on?

SPEAKER_03 33:04

Right. Nah.

SPEAKER_05 33:05

No. Because you because what you say probably has deeper meaning. And because I'm intuitive.

SPEAKER_03 33:12

Hold on, hold on. In the words of Sharon, you're not finna play in my face.

SPEAKER_04 33:18

You're not finna play in my face. You're not.

SPEAKER_05 33:20

You really not. Because that's what y'all be trying to do. That's what you be trying to do. Because I we've had this discussion where you'll say something just to get past it. And I know you're just, I know you're trying to play nice just to get past it. I'm not that easy. We're gonna tough it out. We are gonna tough it out. You're not that easy. I'm not that easy. It ain't hard. Oh, I'm not? I'm not. It wasn't hard for me. It wasn't hard for you? What wasn't hard for you? You don't know. No, I don't. I have a headache scheduled for 7:35 tonight.

SPEAKER_03 33:51

Just so you know. That's fine. Um never stopped me before.

SPEAKER_05 33:55

That's a crime. That's a crime.

SPEAKER_03 33:58

And the criminal justice system. You better call Olivia. You better call Olivia.

SPEAKER_05 34:04

No, like sometimes you be trying to you be trying to like play nice to get to get past it. No, we're not doing it. What you know I'm gonna do is blow me off.

SPEAKER_03 34:13

I only do that when the shit don't matter to me.

SPEAKER_05 34:15

But it matters. It's so so it matters to the collective.

SPEAKER_03 34:20

You so when it matters to you and it don't matter to me, I just let you have it. I'm not finna argue with you.

SPEAKER_05 34:27

No, we're not gonna argue, but we're gonna have a healthy discussion about it.

SPEAKER_03 34:31

Nothing to discuss, babe. You right? You know what?

SPEAKER_05 34:33

I just I just it just made me think about that video where she was like making ice water and she was like, today I woke up and I was craving an argument with my husband. So I strategically planned one for 12:34 p.m. Like, that's not what we be trying to do, but it's exactly what y'all be doing. No, it's not.

SPEAKER_03 34:51

That's exactly what y'all be doing.

SPEAKER_05 34:53

We need a couple more.

SPEAKER_03 34:54

I'm gonna read one more.

SPEAKER_05 34:56

You go ahead.

SPEAKER_03 34:56

Because you uh doing too much.

SPEAKER_05 34:58

You be you do that.

SPEAKER_03 34:58

Do you overreact when I use humor in arguments? Sometimes you do because I just be trying to make you laugh.

SPEAKER_05 35:04

Yeah, I know. But when we're trying to have you do it, you do it now. Even when we try to have like when we're having a serious conversation, you always try to make it funny, which takes away from what I'm trying to say. Because sometimes you gotta enjoy life. It's not no, that's that's you not listening. I'm listening, that's you bulldozing over my over my emotions and my points when I'm trying to express something. Okay, and you're like, oh, let me make it more lighthearted by interjecting comedy. It's not a comedic moment. So what I hear is listen to the sadness and anger.

SPEAKER_03 35:39

Okay, so what I'm hearing is that when I inject comedy to make you laugh, you don't feel like I'm listening, or you're you don't feel like you're being heard.

SPEAKER_05 35:45

Damil.

SPEAKER_03 35:46

That's what I'm hearing.

SPEAKER_05 35:47

I'm gonna pinch you.

SPEAKER_03 35:48

So I will do my best to make you feel heard and then tell the joke afterwards.

SPEAKER_04 35:53

Okay, get away from me.

SPEAKER_03 35:55

But the joke get away from me. But the joke will be told.

SPEAKER_05 35:59

Get away from me.

SPEAKER_03 36:00

But the joke will be told. Okay. Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 36:04

Um, do you or men, most men, overreact when not getting enough attention or intimacy over a few days?

SPEAKER_03 36:13

I don't I don't think I do, but some people do. You don't think you do? No, I just tell you, hey, look here, Pim. You got 24 hours.

SPEAKER_04 36:22

Really? You got 24 hours?

SPEAKER_03 36:24

You got 24 hours.

SPEAKER_05 36:26

No, what you do is you just get you get like you get like pissy. You get like a little attitude. You don't think you do, but you get an attitude.

SPEAKER_03 36:33

Hold on, hold on. You can't tell a grown man he gets pissy. Okay? You do it. Look here.

SPEAKER_04 36:39

Okay, not pissy, but you get an attitude.

SPEAKER_03 36:41

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, stop. You get an attitude. Stop. I'm talking now. Stop. I'm talking. Just because you're a woman.

SPEAKER_05 36:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 36:50

Don't think you finna go over here and and and uh uh and uh throw insult over here.

SPEAKER_05 36:55

Okay, cut it out. Ain't nobody insulting you, but you do get a little pissy, you get a little attitude.

SPEAKER_03 36:59

Look, let me tell you something, big bro. I will cut this camera off and we can handle this, okay?

SPEAKER_04 37:05

We can. All right, we can. I'm down.

SPEAKER_03 37:07

I know it's gonna end. Yeah, you nasty.

SPEAKER_05 37:10

Uh, but you do, you get a little attitude.

SPEAKER_03 37:12

I don't.

SPEAKER_05 37:14

You don't think so?

SPEAKER_03 37:15

I don't.

SPEAKER_05 37:16

You don't think so?

SPEAKER_03 37:17

I do not.

SPEAKER_05 37:17

Yes, you do. You I don't think you understand how much it affects you.

SPEAKER_03 37:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 37:22

Like you do get a little attitude. And then once, and then once, what, once we spend once we spend a little time together the next morning the next morning, you're like, dang! Come here, I love you, I miss you. Come here, I want to hang away.

SPEAKER_03 37:35

First of all, I'll always tell you I love you and I miss you.

SPEAKER_05 37:37

Yeah, but you be extra happy and enthusiastic. Well, of course, when you get the good guy, I'm I'm more inclined to do shit. I'll be like, oh, look at his endorphins running rampant.

SPEAKER_03 37:45

Running rampant. And that's when you ask for shit. Don't don't let it drop, because if it drops, it's a no.

SPEAKER_05 37:50

Well, I mean, I I know, I know you, I know how to play it.

SPEAKER_03 37:53

Yeah, it's like we were talking, um, we were talking about uh kids, uh me and uh me and the guys. And I was like, I said it's funny because my daughter knows exactly. And I was I was telling when um uh TT was here and T T came and asked me um for ice cream, and I told no. Told her no, they can't have ice cream. And Phoenix said, Why did you ask my dad? He always says no.

SPEAKER_04 38:16

You messed it up, and you did it in the wrong order. Now there's no chance we're gonna get it because he didn't already say no.

SPEAKER_03 38:28

I said, I said, kids know exactly who to play.

SPEAKER_04 38:31

She was like, I gotta teach you better because you done fucked up.

SPEAKER_03 38:36

You're cussing a lot tonight.

SPEAKER_05 38:37

Oh, sorry. It's probably because I'm hungry.

SPEAKER_03 38:39

No, I don't know. You you know, you it's because it's because you bitch pressed today. Every time you bitch press, you get you think you, you know, you get a little brawlic.

SPEAKER_05 38:46

I get a little what?

SPEAKER_03 38:47

A little brawlic.

SPEAKER_05 38:47

I get a little brawlic. Yeah, no, it's because no, I do need to eat though.

SPEAKER_03 38:52

Go ahead and read one more.

SPEAKER_05 38:53

I do, I do. Uh this is you having to attend family events.

SPEAKER_03 38:58

It depends on the event.

SPEAKER_05 39:00

It doesn't depend on the event. It does. All it has to involve is family.

SPEAKER_03 39:04

It depends on the event.

SPEAKER_05 39:06

Okay. Why does it get you so bent out of shape? Because sometimes I don't want to be there. You never want to be anywhere.

SPEAKER_03 39:12

No, that's not true.

SPEAKER_05 39:12

That is absolutely true.

SPEAKER_03 39:14

That's not true. That's not true.

SPEAKER_05 39:15

Which is why I just plan things. What did we discuss? I told you I stopped telling you or asking you about it. I just put it on the calendar and be like, this is where we're going and this is what we're doing. Because if I bring it up in a way where it's like, hey, babe, do you want to go or do you want to do this? It's always going to be, no, y'all go ahead. I don't want to do that. Or I was hoping that maybe we could just do something else.

SPEAKER_03 39:37

Okay. I'm not gonna argue with you.

SPEAKER_05 39:39

Okay, I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_03 39:40

Because it's not that big a deep.

SPEAKER_05 39:41

Okay. Really? I see what you're doing here.

SPEAKER_03 39:44

It's not.

SPEAKER_05 39:44

I see what you're doing here.

SPEAKER_03 39:46

I like doing things.

SPEAKER_05 39:47

Like what? Tell me what you like doing.

SPEAKER_03 39:49

You know, if we're going to your daddy house, I'm going. I'm going. If we're going to talk to Mr. Walls. To Mr. Walls? I'm going to talk to you.

SPEAKER_05 39:58

I don't even think I've ever heard you call him Mr. Walls. I do all the time. So why are you doing that? Oh, yeah, you do, Mr. You do call him Mr. Walls.

SPEAKER_03 40:03

I'm going. Because I'm finna have some great. Hey, how you doing? Shit. Well, that shit. Hell. Goddamn trunk. Shit. Damn.

SPEAKER_05 40:13

My daddy's in his old man political era right now.

SPEAKER_03 40:15

Goddamn, they want 13 off of a goddamn bucket of chillings.

SPEAKER_05 40:19

I'm going to call me call him. After we're done recording, I'm going to call my dad. So we're going to your daddy's house.

SPEAKER_03 40:23

I'm going because I'm finna be entertained. I can't. Okay. There's never a dull moment. I'm going to be entertained. Now, if we go into your mama's house, she just gonna ask for shit. I'm good. Bye. You know what I mean? Like, she's gonna be like, my ace, you we you cooking today.

SPEAKER_05 40:36

Okay, that's not even how my mom sounds. Move.

SPEAKER_03 40:39

Where can I? My. That's got it. She don't call you my east. That's how that's what it sounds like.

SPEAKER_05 40:45

That's what it sounds like. Oh gosh, move it along, sir. Okay. Go ahead.

unknown 40:51

I'm done. We're done.

SPEAKER_05 40:52

Oh, yeah. Oh, I did the last one. Yeah, I know when I was answering it. Oh, okay. Go ahead. I don't mind going to your little funky family events. Oh, okay. I mean, your actions, your actions say different.

SPEAKER_02 41:03

I like to be anywhere you are. Because where you are, the wagon is there.

SPEAKER_05 41:07

Where you are, anywhere you are, it don't matter how far.

SPEAKER_03 41:12

I just changed my mind. I said I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_05 41:16

But I wanted to start my life, Brandon. I was going through changes.

SPEAKER_03 41:22

You're going to go ahead and change back.

SPEAKER_05 41:24

That is where I want to be.

SPEAKER_03 41:27

You want to be right here.

SPEAKER_05 41:28

Nothing.

SPEAKER_03 41:29

Okay, we're gonna go ahead and go into the comment of the week, people.

SPEAKER_05 41:32

And I'm here for it. Go ahead, say it.

SPEAKER_03 41:34

Say comment of the week.

SPEAKER_05 41:35

We're going into the comments.

SPEAKER_03 41:38

The comment of the week, people. Okay, the comment of the week, I got three.

Comments Of The Week

SPEAKER_03 41:41

I have three of them. Okay, go ahead. Because I know how you feel. Okay. The first comment comes from the post about paying back the money her fiance had borrowed.

SPEAKER_05 41:53

From his family.

SPEAKER_03 41:54

Right. And this comment comes from Jen for real. On I believe this is YouTube. She said, they don't like me, they won't like my money. Because how dare you not like me the whole time? But the second I start working, you want some of my money?

SPEAKER_05 42:14

Well, I mean, they just want their money back. So there's that. They helped you and your family. They helped their grandson. They helped their grandson, which helped his family.

SPEAKER_03 42:26

They helped him.

SPEAKER_05 42:27

Okay. I mean.

SPEAKER_03 42:28

And the next time it comes from Miss Kitty, this is in regards to the post about the three re uh three-year relationship, and her um boyfriend started uh listening to the podcast and get the ball.

SPEAKER_05 42:42

Oh, and he started, yeah, he started changing. He wanted to be really um really strict about what she wore, how she spoke, the people she started hanging around. That she needed to stop focusing on her career. She needed to stop focusing on her career because he didn't want a wife who was career-driven. He wanted a wife who is baby family driven.

SPEAKER_03 43:01

Yes. And Miss Kitty said, tell him that Stephen Wives was a movie and not a good one at that. Enjoy your freedom.

SPEAKER_05 43:10

And not a good one at that. The Stepford Wives was a movie.

SPEAKER_03 43:14

I don't know what reality you live it in, but that ain't it. It's in cinema. This here, this one is from KCJM. I believe this is on uh from Instagram as well. This is in regards to the streaming services.

SPEAKER_05 43:30

Oh, where the stepkids kept sharing the mom's streaming services.

SPEAKER_03 43:35

I only highlight this because this was the first time I ever seen somebody spell my name correctly. Casey said, not Marie saying third times to charm. And I was wrong, they both had been married twice already. And apparently they had they was having a little impasse.

SPEAKER_05 43:54

The common denominator. Just saying.

SPEAKER_03 43:58

I'm just saying, but no, no. No, I thought about it. I said, yeah, oh boy, he should have just changed the password.

SPEAKER_05 44:03

That was it was the easy fix. He was doing too it was going too deep, huh? He was overreacting. It didn't matter that much.

SPEAKER_03 44:11

But I would let that shit go. See overreacting.

SPEAKER_05 44:14

Okay, let's hop on into our church. Stop showing me that picture. He's he for those of you who are listening. Because I've been wearing my bandanas, I've been back on my bandanas. I used to wear bandanas all the time. And I had just it dawned on me one day. I was like, I don't wear my bandanas, bandanas anymore. And so I've been wearing my bandanas. And he is showing me a picture from Bloodsport, one of the fighters wearing his bandana. And he was like, You're reminding me of the fighter from Bloodsport.

SPEAKER_03 44:43

Rest in peace. He had just passed. I forgot his name.

SPEAKER_05 44:46

Um

Our 2 Cents

SPEAKER_05 44:47

okay. Oh, I hope I didn't uh disconnect the microphone.

SPEAKER_03 44:50

I did it.

SPEAKER_05 44:50

Um, okay. Am I the asshole for telling my mother-in-law she couldn't visit my wife in the hospital the same day that our child was born? Okay. My wife and I discussed in the days leading up to the birth of our son, and we agreed that we did not want any visitors the same day he was born. My mother-in-law was notified that my wife was going to require a C-section, and she told me to tell her when she was able to come up and visit. And I told her that I would do so. I texted our group chat for my wife's side of the family, updating them that the procedure went well and that mama and baby were both doing perfect. She replied and said, I know you didn't tell me to come, but we are in the waiting room. We were just so excited and wanted to be here for the two of you. Okay. I texted her back saying that we do appreciate the love and we appreciate her coming up, but that they should go home and that we would see them tomorrow. Oh, right now. My father-in-law called me shortly after and insulted me in every way imaginable. Okay. And my mother-in-law sent me a long text message saying how disrespectful I was being for not allowing them to visit their daughter and granddaughter. Okay. I quickly reminded them that today was not about them and that it was about my wife, the baby, and I. We haven't spoken to them since. Am I the asshole? Hell no. Absolutely not. Look here.

SPEAKER_04 46:21

How are you gonna get mad after I told you what the hell the game plan was?

SPEAKER_03 46:24

Wait a minute. I love every time you read a story where a man stand on business, I love it. Because I stand on business. Right. I stand on business. This reminded me of when my precious baby was born. And my wife had she had two rules. Don't kiss my baby and don't eat in this room.

SPEAKER_05 46:44

Don't eat in the room because I can't eat.

SPEAKER_03 46:45

Well, I can't eat. Yes. And most people were good, but me about rule number one. I was eating, I was sneaking shit. She didn't see it. Uh but when my mama reached over and kissed that baby.

SPEAKER_05 46:58

I said, What in the city?

SPEAKER_03 47:01

And what did I do in the moment?

SPEAKER_05 47:03

Out, off with her head.

SPEAKER_03 47:05

I told my mama off. I said, look here.

SPEAKER_04 47:08

I told you not to kiss the baby.

SPEAKER_03 47:13

I took my mama home.

SPEAKER_04 47:14

I was like, kidding.

SPEAKER_03 47:16

I remember in the car. She was because she was staying with us. And I remember taking her back to the condo. I remember I saw her, look here, mother. I appreciate you being here. I know you're excited, but that is my wife. What she says goes. I said, you need to apologize to her and make sure you don't never. I said, I said, I don't care if she tells you don't wear red around the baby. You better stay true to the blue.

SPEAKER_05 47:40

And then my mom, when my mom had came like to the house, she a few days after Phoenix was born, my mom came down. She had a cup of peanuts. And so she was like, oh, I want to hold her. I want to hold her. And I was like, okay, well, go get cleaned up. She took the cup of peanuts and set it down in Phoenix's um, her little halo uh crib. And I went berserk. She was like, what are you talking? She was like, I'm just gonna leave.

SPEAKER_04 48:05

I'm gonna leave. I was like, well, she might be allergic to peanuts, and I don't know. She's like you're sitting peanuts in her damn bed. I was going nuts.

SPEAKER_03 48:13

Any, every everybody who knows us will attest that they know I don't play about this one.

SPEAKER_05 48:19

I was like, when it came to that baby.

SPEAKER_03 48:21

And when it I said, I don't care how ridiculous it sounds to you. It really don't. If it gives her peace of mind, your ass better do it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 48:29

And if you can't do it, you gotta go. You gotta do it. Because that's wild. He was all he he told you the day is gonna be for us, and we will see y'all tomorrow. You took it upon yourself to bring your happy go-lucky self. But this is and then you want to pull a grandma. She basically trying to pull a grandma card. That's what it is. She's trying to pull the grandma card.

SPEAKER_03 48:55

These grandparents be thinking they got more power than they do. Okay. Bye. That's the problem.

SPEAKER_05 49:01

Either way, you were not the asshole. They should have respected your boundaries and they could have waited one more day. Okay, so you weren't the asshole. Um let's see. My girlfriend cheated early in the relationship, and I still can't move past it. Then leave the device. Why are we here? Um, I'm a 23-year-old male. My girlfriend, who's 22, have been dating since January. About three days after we officially got together, she randomly stopped texting me around 8 p.m. and didn't respond until the next morning around 10. At the time, I thought it was weird, but I let it go. About two months into dating, I found out that that same night she got drunk at a party with one of her female friends, A, and cheated on me with one of A's friends. Ever since finding out, I genuinely feel mentally stuck. The best way I can describe it, it's almost like PTSD. I constantly think about it, replay the situation in my head, question what's true, and get anxious whenever something feels off. Some days I feel normal, other days it's completely ruins my mood. What makes it harder is that outside of this, our relationship has actually improved a lot. And she's been trying to reassure me and rebuild trust. But mentally, I still feel damaged by it. And I don't know if this is something people realistically recover from, or if I'm forcing myself to stay in something that I will never fully get over. Does it ever get better or should I just get over it?

SPEAKER_03 50:24

It's hard to say that like you had experience.

SPEAKER_05 50:27

It's hard. Let me let me something say go ahead.

SPEAKER_03 50:29

It's hard to maintain a stray cat. A stray go wander. It may stop by. It's wild. And it's clear that you don't trust the cat. So why do you keep letting the cat stay around? Now don't now look at that. She might claw you in your face again, but you asking for it because you're keeping her around. So I don't know what's the problem here. You can't trust her. And if you can't trust it, you can't build her.

SPEAKER_05 51:14

And that I agree with.

SPEAKER_03 51:16

Let the stray be a straight. Don't touch me. You know, there's a whole litter. A junkyard cat, there's alley cats, uh you know, there's uh uh uh garbage, garbage place cat. This cat, damn it. My job, they let cats just run roam around, kill the mice. Feel mice. Okay. I mean, the cats got they always find somewhere to go. She look, she a cat, she's gonna land on her feet. Set her free. Don't don't stress yourself out by where she's gonna be. Just know where she ain't. Next to you. Problem's off. Next are you done?

unknown 51:52

I'm done.

SPEAKER_03 51:53

I think I'm gonna be stressed. I definitely stressed out by the cat. That's right. Shit. I ain't Fernand. Ferdinand?

SPEAKER_05 52:01

I ain't Ferdinand. I can't. If you can't trust her, I think that's your answer. If this is something that constantly comes up for you, that's the answer. Obviously, you can't move on. And if you can't move on, you can't move on.

SPEAKER_03 52:16

Why are you saying it nicely? You just said the exact one thing I just said.

SPEAKER_05 52:18

I know, but I didn't refer to her as a kitten.

SPEAKER_03 52:21

Look, look here. Leave the letterbox outside.

SPEAKER_05 52:24

Okay. Last one. I'm done with you. Um, this one's from a Booski. Booski! I haven't read this one either, so we're gonna read it together. Is that all that? Uh yeah. That's why. Am I the asshole for refusing to babysit my two grandkids who are now toddlers while working from home, even though I watch my two-month-old grandson? I'm a 58 uh-year-old grandmother of six. I work from home full time. I love my family, but I'm completely over and over the entitlement of my middle son and his wife, both who are in their 30s. For context, I have three children. My oldest son has three boys. When they were born, I commuted to an office and couldn't babysit. He never once complained. If I said no to a weekend request, he just figured it out. My middle son has a three-year-old girl and a two-year-old boy. My youngest child just had a baby boy who's two months old. When my middle son's kids were born, I had the flexibility to watch them for free 99 while working from home.

SPEAKER_03 53:22

Bless you.

SPEAKER_05 53:23

I did this for nearly three years during the week plus weekends, so they could have date nights. His wife was recently laid off, but my son still works. I stopped watching their kids regularly because they hit the toddler stage. My two-year-old grandson is into everything. When they visit now, it's chaotic. I had them on a tight schedule before, but now they are uncontrollable, making it impossible for me to work my job. Currently, I watch my youngest uh child's two-month-old baby for five to six hours a day. I do this because postpartum depression is real and I want to give the new mom a break to rest and heal. Yesterday, my middle son saw on Facebook Messenger that I was holding the newborn. He said, Oh, you're watching him? I explained I was giving the mom a break. He snapped back with, Well, my wife needs a break too. I calmly explained that I have a massive work project due in two weeks. I told him that I would gladly watch the toddlers after the project was completed. We said we loved each other and hung up. A few minutes later, he called back, furious, to get something off his chest. He said his wife feels I am playing favorites. He demanded to know how I can watch a newborn during my big work project, but not watch his two toddlers. I lost my temper. I told him the newborn eats, sleeps, and shits. He is two months old. Your kids are two and three and tear my house apart. I reminded him that I watched his kids for free for three years. I told him I had to find and pay for my own childcare when my kids were little because my own mother was old school. I'm exhausted by his lack of gratitude. I don't want to babysit toddlers anymore, regardless if I'm working or not. Am I being an asshole? Fuck no.

SPEAKER_03 55:21

Now look here. I got don't even say nothing. I got this. Okay. I got this. Ma'am.

SPEAKER_05 55:26

Um I don't know if she wants to be anonymous or something. I'm not gonna say her now.

SPEAKER_03 55:29

Okay, ma'am, you are 58. You have lived your life and done your job. You've done more than what's required of you. Okay? He had his turn. Now it's the two-month-year-old turn. He can feel as bad as he wanna feel. And I don't, I'm not trying to disrespect your son, but he sounds a little soft. Okay. Because why? Why is he coming after his mother like this? Like she never did. Why is he not appreciative of what you've already done for him? Yeah. And like, like, here's the thing. He got two kids. I think she said he got two.

SPEAKER_05 56:02

I think he has a two-year-old and a three-year-old, but his wife was laid off.

SPEAKER_03 56:05

Here's the thing. He got two kids, so he knows what it's like to have a newborn. Right.

SPEAKER_05 56:09

And he knows the difference between a newborn and a top line.

SPEAKER_03 56:12

And as you put it, that newborn is gonna sit their ass down wherever you lay them down. Yeah. They might roll over, get a little tummy time from time to time. Yeah, but they ain't gonna.

SPEAKER_05 56:21

She can feed them, put them to sleep, and do her job.

SPEAKER_03 56:23

You can look across the room, make sure he's where he's supposed to be.

SPEAKER_05 56:25

Right. He's not gonna move.

SPEAKER_03 56:28

Shit.

SPEAKER_05 56:29

They could be in your car. They could be on their way to the stove.

SPEAKER_03 56:32

They ain't sitting their ass down nowhere.

SPEAKER_05 56:34

As they should if they're toddlers.

SPEAKER_03 56:36

And you ain't got the time.

SPEAKER_05 56:37

Yeah, or patience.

SPEAKER_03 56:38

And you don't have, don't feel look here.

SPEAKER_05 56:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 56:40

Look here.

SPEAKER_05 56:41

Now I can see if it was a different.

SPEAKER_03 56:43

Wait a minute. Oh, I want to cuss them out. Don't, don't. Oh, I want to cuss them out. Look here, ma'am. Don't cuss them out. As a person who would love to have this type of arrangement when my daughter was two months old. I applaud you because we had to figure that shit out.

SPEAKER_05 56:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 56:58

Okay. We were very much in the old school category.

SPEAKER_05 57:01

Yeah. Had defined child care. Right.

SPEAKER_03 57:04

Yeah. Now they want them all the time. Isn't that a bitch?

SPEAKER_05 57:07

Yeah, because she's self-sufficient.

SPEAKER_03 57:10

But you are not an asshole for this. Um, he needs to grow up.

SPEAKER_05 57:15

No, he just needs to learn a little gratitude. Because the attitude. That's part of growing up. Yeah, but the attitude, like I see what she's saying. You're he's taking the attitude. Hold on. No, let me finish. Wait a minute, wait a minute. He's taking the attitude like you never did.

SPEAKER_03 57:27

Okay, yeah, that's true. Yes. And where where her mama at?

SPEAKER_05 57:31

She may not live close by.

SPEAKER_03 57:32

I don't give a damn. Tell him, tell him to call her mama.

SPEAKER_05 57:36

Well, what if her mother's no longer with me?

SPEAKER_03 57:38

Well, you know what? God rests her soul. Call her auntie. Okay. By the mail. You're not an asshole.

SPEAKER_05 57:45

Yeah, I don't think I don't think you're an asshole. I definitely don't think uh like I said, I think it would be a different story if you never watched his kids. And then now you're just all of a sudden wanting to watch the youngest, but you you watched them like you said for free 99 for three years.

SPEAKER_03 58:01

And on the subject of favorites.

SPEAKER_05 58:02

And it's two of them. It's only one newborn.

SPEAKER_04 58:05

Let's not let's not forget the fact that, son, you have two kids.

SPEAKER_03 58:08

Look here, I'm gonna say this. On the subject of favorites, we all know parents got favorites. She the favorite, I was the favorite, Phoenix is the favorite.

SPEAKER_05 58:17

She's the only child. She got a competition.

SPEAKER_03 58:19

We all got favorites. And he should be more concerned about why his mama's still working at 58. Then why, then why you're not watching?

SPEAKER_04 58:29

I was like, yeah, if you want, if you want your mom to just watch the keys. If he can retake care of your time. Yeah, take care of your mom and then she'll tell him to cover them bills. Tell him that you'll watch the kids.

SPEAKER_05 58:40

Yeah, you'll watch him full time. If he wants in-home child care, yeah, you can do that. All right, guys, this has been another episode of the Life After I Do podcast. If you're not doing so already, uh please like, follow, share the podcast. You can follow us on all of our social media platforms at Life After I Do Podcast on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube, Life After I Do Podcast. And do not forget that you can also write into the podcast at LifeAfter I Do Podcast at gmail.com. If you haven't done so already, go ahead and become a Booski and sign up for the Patreon, Life After I Do Podcast. You get a new episode every single Wednesday, unless you're part of the Patreon.

SPEAKER_03 59:23

You get it two days earlier.

SPEAKER_05 59:24

You get it two days earlier, and you get some special M I B assholes. Um, but yeah, until next time, guys. Peace Booskies. Peace Booskies.