Life After I Do Podcast

Our 2 Cents Vol. 24

• Life After I Do • Season 1 • Episode 110

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This installment of Our 2 Cents is a deep dive into what happens when boundaries, honesty, and consequences collide.

From open relationships to caregiver burnout, inheritance drama to cheating fallout—we unpack the emotional layers and offer real strategies for protecting your peace. We don’t sugarcoat, but we do bring both laughter and perspective.

If you’re navigating tough conversations in love, family, or money—this one’s got something for you.

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Thanks for rocking with us! Don’t forget to follow Life After I Do so you never miss an episode. Got a relationship situation you want us to weigh in on? Hit us at https://linktr.ee/lifeafteridopodcast — we just might talk about it in a future episode.

SPEAKER_03:

First you convince me for you first you convince me for us to work it out. Right. Then you convince me to go to counseling. Right. And then when we get in counseling, you defend him and fault me for you being caught and for me for him getting a divorce too when you both were married persons.

SPEAKER_04:

Crazy work. Crazy work.

SPEAKER_03:

Crazy work.

SPEAKER_04:

Crazy work.

SPEAKER_03:

Hey everybody, and welcome back to another weekly episode of the Life After I Do podcast.

SPEAKER_05:

Doo doo doo doo doo.

SPEAKER_03:

Wow. That was look laster. You wanna try that again?

SPEAKER_05:

I I'm trying to keep it short.

SPEAKER_03:

I listen.

SPEAKER_05:

What?

SPEAKER_03:

I want it.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay. I'ma give it to you. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03:

I'ma give it to you. You know what I mean.

SPEAKER_05:

I'ma give it to you. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, that's it. And then end scene. That's what we talked about. Keep it short and sweet. That's it. All right. How's it going? Hey Booskies. Hi, Booskies. How's it going?

SPEAKER_05:

It's going, girl.

SPEAKER_03:

Why you say it like that?

SPEAKER_05:

Life and life and my leg are still sore from Sunday. That's terrible. Crazy. It's because you it's because you had me go on that damn stairmaster yesterday. Stairmaster is good for you. Yeah, but I did a stairmaster on Sunday.

SPEAKER_03:

And you legit stayed on the stairmaster for 11 minutes.

SPEAKER_05:

12 minutes. Well, it's not my fault. I had planned to be on there for as long as I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_03:

You could have just gotten on the treadmill.

SPEAKER_05:

I had planned to be on the stairmaster for as long as you're gonna be on the stairmaster, but it was taken, so I had to wait for her to finish.

SPEAKER_03:

And then there were two empty ones side by side, and I asked if you wanted to go get those.

SPEAKER_05:

Mind you, it wasn't my cardio day, so I was just there for emotional support. I didn't need that.

unknown:

Okay.

SPEAKER_05:

I was there for you, boo. So I want you to know that I was there for you. You know, thank you.

SPEAKER_03:

I appreciate the my week has been a wee week.

SPEAKER_05:

Life is life, but we're gonna remain positive and hope for the best.

SPEAKER_03:

We know the best is coming. Now we're not hoping for the best. We know the best is on its way.

SPEAKER_05:

You said yes to the dress, and I said yes to that ass.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay. Anyway, the best is on its way. The best is yet to come. Okay. Okay. Remember, we gotta rephrase, you gotta put, you gotta put a new scope on it. You gotta put a loot, a new lens on it. Stop touching me. Put a new lens on it. Wow. Okay. So what was the highlight of your week?

SPEAKER_05:

Um probably when I hit that 215 for um for seven.

SPEAKER_03:

That was good on bench.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. That was really nice.

SPEAKER_03:

You were shook at the Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Because I had, you know, I can hit the 225 for like four. So I've been trying to work on that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

I've never seen it.

SPEAKER_05:

You were there. You were playing.

SPEAKER_02:

I don't record.

SPEAKER_05:

It's just a thing that like I get in my head. So that's probably that was one of the highlights. But no, actually, I take that back. Okay. You want to revise it?

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, what?

SPEAKER_05:

The highlight of my week is my uh the depth I get on my hack squad now. That's it.

SPEAKER_03:

I haven't seen the video.

SPEAKER_05:

And I'd record that.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_05:

And uh um, but I have we have all of our gym friends confirmed. So I'm gonna take her word. Which one? Uh I don't know her name. What'd she look like? Marlena's friend is really strong.

SPEAKER_03:

Jen?

SPEAKER_05:

Not Jen. I haven't seen Jen. I asked about Jen today. I said, where's Jen? Jin's my buddy.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay. I'll I'll talk. I'll talk to her.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay, anyway. Not you trying to verify, might me. Um, yeah, I mean, so I mean, another how that I my my daughter, my daughter has been uber affectionate this week. And I said, I don't know if it's because you've been in trouble and you're trying to get your way back out.

SPEAKER_03:

But ma'am, I'm just saying. She's been turning it up on you. I don't need you to be kissing on me like this. She became me, she was like, I dismiss daddy so much. That's what she told me. I dismiss my dad so much.

SPEAKER_05:

She misses you. Like today, today when we um we got her from school. Dad, oh, I missed you so much. Oh, I'm so happy you heard you didn't go to work today. Oh, dad. I said, Phoenix, you you doing too much.

SPEAKER_03:

You're doing all that, and you're still not gonna get your screens back. That's crazy. Right.

SPEAKER_05:

You still didn't get your screens back.

SPEAKER_03:

That's crazy work.

SPEAKER_05:

And then she was like, so I'm going to Kendall's house Saturday, right?

SPEAKER_03:

She always tries to like butter you up and then like try to confirm some shit, either she planned or she wanted to do it. You know what she told me on the drive to practice? She was like, Oh, mom, I just want you to know, me and Gabby were talking about um a play date, Gabby from school, and she was like, and we were kind of thinking, like, maybe we can do like a Disney cruise. I was on the phone with my sister. My sister said, Did she say a Disney cruise for a play date? I said, Yes, she did. Yes, she did. In my mind, I was like, girl, you don't see Joe.

SPEAKER_05:

That's crazy. Because today she was like, earlier, she was like, Dad, you remember how like me and Mila, like we had a play date last summer? Like, can we have another play date? But like this time we go somewhere like like Disneyland.

SPEAKER_03:

Between Disneyland, what'd she tell you the other day? Disney World. Disney World. She said, no, I've been, she was like, I've been to Disneyland already a lot of times. I want to go to Disney World.

SPEAKER_05:

I said, I said, not not pinkies up. But when she said up at eight is a wild.

SPEAKER_03:

She said a play date and they were thinking on it. Like, like they were just at school kicking it, and like, you know what'd be great? We should do a play date on a Disney cruise.

SPEAKER_05:

Hold up. I messed up my week. Why? Because it's Wednesday, so it's been a couple days now. Mm-hmm. Since go Dodgers. Go blue.

SPEAKER_03:

Bye.

unknown:

Ha ha!

SPEAKER_03:

Congratulations to the Dodgers.

SPEAKER_05:

Y'all know we've we from Southern California, and I support everything Southern California except for the except for the football teams. I am an Eagles fan, go Birds. And to whoever that was in the in the comments somewhere, why are you talking about my cowboys? Because I don't like y'all. Never have, never will. Go birds. Um, but shoutouts to my Dodgers.

SPEAKER_03:

They had me stressed out. I think you had everyone stressed out. My friend posted a video of her husband, and I mean he almost burned a hole straight through the floor from the pacing. I said, girl, y'all gonna need to replace your floors when he's done.

SPEAKER_05:

Between games five and seven, I aged 20 years. Because Lord knows I can't, even though when we won Halloween night, I I kept saying, like, I kept saying, like, we just gotta get through the seventh evening.

SPEAKER_03:

We just we just need to get through.

SPEAKER_05:

If we could just put that seven. We will be okay. For the longest time, six, seven was early. It was on the dog, it was on the Dodgers' ass. Okay, because that sixth and seven inning was tearing our ass up. But we won. You know, uh Kershaw won out of champions. Yes, congratulations on retirement. Um, shout out to you know what, hold up, side note. What? Shout outs to Mookie Betts.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, why would you?

SPEAKER_05:

Or short stop? Okay, it's not even about him. I saw a picture of his wife. I said, I see you. Goodbye.

SPEAKER_03:

Black Queens Forever? Stop it. Stop it.

SPEAKER_02:

Stop it. I said, Mrs. Bet. Okay, Mrs. Mrs. Mrs. I said, cocaine.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay. And the other highlight of my week is that I don't know if it's true or not, but apparently somebody reported that Miss Iiko is single now. So if she comes calling, don't take it personal. I won't at all. Don't, don't, don't take it personal.

SPEAKER_03:

Don't take it personal. I'm gonna send home all the all the support you need. Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby.

SPEAKER_05:

But that's it. I was really, I was really, really happy that my Dodgers won. I even made a post that said that I'm so thankful to the Dodgers because I know these Lakers are finna piss me off.

SPEAKER_03:

I know I saw that. The Lakers might surprise you.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay. They've been playing well.

SPEAKER_03:

See?

SPEAKER_05:

But and LeBron ain't there. So it just proves my point that we can stop paying this man this money.

SPEAKER_03:

Goodbye. What's your week, Booskies? My week was okay. I mean, it wasn't great because the Dodgers won? Okay, it was great because the Dodgers won.

SPEAKER_05:

The Dodgers won. The Cowboys lost. The Giants lost. The commander. Oh my god. I feel so sorry for Jaden Daniels. I don't know who that is. That's the quarterback for the for the commanders. Oh, okay. He's a SoCal nature.

SPEAKER_03:

The commanders?

SPEAKER_05:

Yes, he's a SoCal native.

SPEAKER_03:

Commanders? Yes. What team is that?

SPEAKER_05:

They used to be the Redskins.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, okay. I know that. But I don't know who a commander is.

SPEAKER_05:

He's a So-Cal native, I feel bad. I was like, is this- I do support people for the area, even though he's on that team. Oh. Um, it was a so sports-wise, it was because even the Lakers won. I said, yeah, I said, look at God. Bye, Maurice. Look at God. Goodbye. And then they had ice cube at the at the pair at the at the parade. I saw. LA, we up, baby. We up.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, I'm happy you had a great sport uh field week, and that was the highlight of your week. Um, the highlight of my week was I made it through the week. Okay.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. You've been very cheeky around here. Huh? Very cheeky.

SPEAKER_03:

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_05:

You've been letting your cheeks out. Oh my gosh. Walking around very cheeky.

SPEAKER_03:

No, I haven't.

SPEAKER_05:

And I said, I'm picking up when she's laying down.

SPEAKER_03:

No. No.

SPEAKER_05:

But then I don't know, because you've been setting me up with your sleepy time tea.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, so I drink, I've I've gotten back on my tea regimen before bed, and I drink like a cup of tea before bed. I do my reading and I do a cup of tea. And I drink um, I think it's called celestial or something like that, but it's sleepy time tea. And it really does like relax you. So last night I was making tea and I asked if he wanted a cup of tea. And he was like, um, I'll try the sleepy time tea. So I gave him the sleepy time tea and I and I drank stress relief last night. Were you stressed? Because I was I was knocked out. I know, I know. And it only took like 15, it was like 15 minutes. And he looks over at me and he was like, I think, I think that tea is hitting because I'm really tired all of a sudden. I just feel really relaxed. I was like, because of the herbs and the tea. And so then I go to take her to her room. And when I came back in, he was knocked out. Like REM sleep knocked out. And you got up this morning and you was like, that was some good sleep.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh, I don't even remember turning over in the middle of the night.

SPEAKER_03:

The sleepy time tea. The sleepy time tea would do that. But see, I took like my the stress relief that I took, it was it was just kind of like calming. But when I was doing my reading, I felt like I had more energy to get through. Because I read six chapters last night before bed. Oh, I know. You were you were in you were in another dimension.

SPEAKER_00:

Yep.

SPEAKER_03:

Between you and your daughter, I was like, my sleep is gonna hit any minute now. Any minute now. And then I kept going chapter to chapter to chapter to chapter, and then I looked up and I was like, damn, I done read six chapters already. I'm not gonna do that.

SPEAKER_05:

I just remember opening my eyes and I looked at my phone, which is my alarm clock, and I said, Oh, it's five o'clock. I said, but it's really six. Six, uh-huh. That's why I'm up.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Because of the time change. So that was a good night's sleep. You slept through the night. You slept through the night.

SPEAKER_05:

So now I figure if I can get some sleepy time and some cut, woo!

SPEAKER_03:

I might sleep to noon. Bye. I might sleep to noon. No, but you you took the last serving of sleepy time and it took everything in me, but I really wanted you to experience it because I was really looking forward.

SPEAKER_05:

When your child's a wheel here, I go get some.

SPEAKER_03:

Thank you. Thank you. That's get two boxes. Because between you and your daughter. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh, we were just mumbling.

SPEAKER_03:

Anyways, yeah, I had me, I had a good week.

SPEAKER_05:

That's good. Because I'm your all your weeks are good because I'm your husband, right?

SPEAKER_03:

I had a decent week.

SPEAKER_05:

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_03:

It was it was good. Um, nothing too eventful. I did hit a new PB.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

In um personal best. A new personal best.

SPEAKER_00:

Of what?

SPEAKER_03:

Um, it was 335 for four on deads.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

Um, because I'm working, I'm trying to work my way up to uh like a six prep range. Um so I got to four. And honestly, I probably, I honestly probably could have done five. It's just that I started losing my bracing. And when it comes to deadlifts, like I try not, that's like one lift. I try not to push it, push it. Like when I feel like I'm getting lazy in the form, um push it real good. Yeah, bye. I try not to get, I try not to push it. Um, so that was really good. And uh yeah, that was pretty much the highlight your week. And just and then my baby, of course. And her magnificent planning.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, and trying to navigate.

SPEAKER_05:

She had a great Halloween.

SPEAKER_03:

Her magnificent planning. Yeah, she had a really good Halloween. She's been trying to eat candy every day since. Because now she's a little bit more aware. So she knows, like, listen, we ain't gonna keep playing these games where y'all let me go trick-or-treating and not let me have the damn candy. Okay. Cause every day, every day since, can I can I please get some of my candy?

SPEAKER_05:

No, sit your down.

SPEAKER_03:

What's she gonna get this morning? The cotton candy. Right.

SPEAKER_05:

Come on, I'm gonna take this card.

SPEAKER_03:

Girl, I said if you don't go put that shit back, don't I was like, girl, don't don't don't piss me off. Um, but today we have an hour two cents episode. Okay. You guys are in for a treat because you're getting a back-to-back hour two cent episode. Um, and and be on the lookout. I mean, I guess we'll talk about that at the end of the pod, but we have some other things that are gonna be happening um that you can join us in with for, I believe it's this week or next week, but we'll try to get into that later, if I can remember. Um, but we're gonna go ahead and hop on right into our two cents. Okay, so let's see. This one says, um, sorry, I had to turn my ringer up just in case. This one says, am I the jerk for putting my sister's husband on speakerphone to expose his lies? Okay. My sister Brie, who's a 29-year-old female, has been complaining for months that her husband Kyle, who's 31, never helps with the baby because he's too quote-unquote exhausted from work. Oh, I understand that. He claims he's working late constantly. Yesterday he called me asking if I could pick up his package from a gaming store so his wife, my sister, wouldn't find out. Red flag. I asked him what he was doing after work. He said it was he was still at the office, but I could hear a crowd, music, and what sounded like bowling pins. So I put him on speaker and I said, It's weird office sounds. Do you guys normally bowl during the quarterly reports now? He went silent. Then he hung up. Two hours later, Brie called, crying because Kyle accused me of trying to ruin their marriage and plant distrust within their relationship. I told her the truth. He was clearly lying, and she deserves better, honestly. Now my mom says that I should have stayed out of married people's issues. Am I the jerk? Yeah. You think so? Yeah. I mean, even though he was lying. Stay out of his business. He was lying. He no, okay, here's the thing. It could have been an office retreat. He he invited you into the business when No, he asked you to pick up a package.

SPEAKER_05:

He didn't ask her nothing else. Stay out of grown foe's business. Stay out of grown foe's business.

SPEAKER_03:

But that's her sister.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay, and I don't care. You think I care? If I call your sister, which I'm not. I think I would. I call my I would call my favorite sister.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh my gosh. Don't start with that. I wouldn't call it. Don't start with that.

SPEAKER_05:

If I call her, I don't but see, she wouldn't put me on blast.

SPEAKER_03:

Who? My favorite one. Both of my sisters would put you on blast. Are you kidding me? But both of my sisters wouldn't couldn't wait. If there was any minor slip-up or any type of like second-guessing, I don't believe that was my favorite one.

SPEAKER_05:

Now, with the other one, yes.

SPEAKER_03:

You don't think my sister would be the first to call me and be like, hey, I could be wrong.

SPEAKER_05:

We can ask her. She follows us. Maybe she'll comment on it and say, I don't think she would. I think she would like wrong on what's going on. And I tell her the truth. I'm doing some shit she don't want me to do. She not she don't support my gaming habits.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, it's not about the gaming though, but if you were doing something that's like dishonest or something, I'm dishonest.

SPEAKER_05:

I'm tell I'm lying about gaming.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay. All right, here we go. My boyfriend's hold on, no response. What? About of what? For me? Yeah. I mean, it's her sister. I mean, I don't disagree with what she did. It's not a Mariffe's business. Yeah, I guess so. My boyfriend's mad at me because he opened up the relationship and got no dates. So am I the asshole for how I responded? Me and my boyfriend, both 37, have been dating for just over three years. Prior to this, I was single for eight years. Overall, it's been a healthy relationship. We're both independent with our jobs, living situation, etc. I do love spending time with him. I don't really have any complaints. However, something that startled me was back about six months ago, him saying that he wanted to open the relationship up, meaning going on dates and sleeping with other women. I've never been in a dynamic like this before, so I naturally had a lot of questions. He told me that I could also go out on dates with other men and sleep with them. I honestly was a little skeptical at first, but after doing some research and having time to think, I agreed. He had told me that if at any point I wasn't comfortable, we could stop and close the relationship up again. One of the rules was we don't discuss with each other what the other is doing or who they're doing it with, like the dates and stuff. I signed up to a dating app and within a few days I had over 500 plus likes. And it's been a pretty steady since then. So I started matching with people, texting, and arranging dates. On average, I go on about one to two dates a month. There are also some people in similar dynamics of open relationships that I'm going on dates with and also sleeping with regularly. I quite like the fact that everything is so non-committal. So even though I was skeptical at first, I am enjoying the open relationship. As decided from before, I hadn't told my boyfriend about any of this. I was at my boyfriend's house the other day and my phone was on the kitchen counter. He saw my notifications and then proceeded to go through my phone and read messages, including going through the dating app and whatnot. To say he was angry was an understatement. Turns out he opened the relationship up to take out on a date a younger colleague at his workplace who misread his idea of a date as just work lunch. He then openly told me that he wanted to see if it would work out with her so he could ultimately leave me for her. However, she didn't want, but she didn't want him, and it seems like no one else does either. In the last six months, he's had a few rough dates, but no one additional to sleep with. I feel somewhat embarrassed for him. Uh he demanded we instantly close the relationship, and I told him that maybe we should just end things or at least take a break. He was outraged and called me all kinds of names. But he was the one who wanted this dynamic. So what's the problem? I left, and as I walked home, I contemplated fully breaking it off with him. He's been blowing my phone up, and I'm not quite sure what to say. But am I being the asshole?

SPEAKER_05:

Hell no.

SPEAKER_03:

No. Look here. I feel like we've had a story similar to this before.

SPEAKER_05:

We probably have, it don't matter. Yeah. People play stupid games.

SPEAKER_03:

Win stupid prizes. Look here. And it's always the man who wants to open the relationship, but for some frivolous shit of because he's seen another woman and he wants it to be okay for him to go sleep with her. And then when it doesn't work out the way he thinks it's gonna work out, now he's like, oh no, but it's working out for you. It wasn't supposed to work out for you.

SPEAKER_05:

This won't always work out for her.

SPEAKER_03:

She has a vagina. It's always gonna work out for her.

SPEAKER_05:

She could throw a vagina in a room full of sharks and ten of things. Really? Goodbye. They're gonna respond. Goodbye. Look here. To me, I would just say leave them. Because obviously now his ego is hurt. I think this is hilarious. Why? Because as men, look here, as men, we we have an understanding of what our odds are when you're out there in that marketplace.

SPEAKER_03:

In the marketplace. In the marketplace. Right. Okay.

SPEAKER_05:

And if he wouldn't have seen the phone, she would have just kept doing it anyway. And it seems like she's enjoying herself. She said she is.

SPEAKER_03:

So live your life. She said that she didn't think that she would really like be comfortable with the dynamic. But after doing research and now actually being in it, the first thing she said is, I like how it's non-committal. We both get to do our own things, but the problem is that you're not doing the thing that you thought you were going to get to do.

SPEAKER_05:

And it's not her, it's not her issue.

SPEAKER_03:

He he brought But him saying that I was hoping him admitting that she was a placeholder. That's why I would leave.

SPEAKER_05:

And that's why I would leave because he literally uh he literally set you to the side just in case to see if he has something with her. So why did you feel bad about leaving? He was gonna leave you anyway.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh wow. Now that's the part that got me. He said I wanted to see if things would work out with her, then that way I could leave you for her. So you have me as a placeholder. You could have just said that we could have been friends with benefits, and I probably would have been okay with that, and we wouldn't even have to go through all this.

SPEAKER_05:

Right now, no, she's the only benefit he got.

SPEAKER_03:

Right, because she said, she said, I kind of felt bad for him because nobody wants him.

SPEAKER_05:

He ain't got no sauce.

SPEAKER_03:

She said, she said the girl didn't want him at work, and quite frankly, nobody else does either. He ain't got no sauce. So that one further lets me know, like, you don't even have value out there on the marketplace.

SPEAKER_05:

But why are you with him?

SPEAKER_03:

So I don't need to be here. Look, I don't need to be.

SPEAKER_05:

If don't nobody else want him, why are you?

SPEAKER_03:

I'm not into charity like that.

SPEAKER_05:

Really? That's crazy. Calling him a charity is crazy now. I don't want to go that way.

SPEAKER_03:

Now that I now that I know what his stats are.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, it's pretty bad.

SPEAKER_03:

It's pretty bad.

SPEAKER_05:

It's kind of like his record's almost like as bad as the cowboys.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, I'm dead. Um am I the jerk for not wanting to take care of my sick mother-in-law when my husband works nights?

SPEAKER_05:

Okay, let's get into it.

SPEAKER_03:

My husband's 34 and I'm 31, and we've been married for five years. My mother-in-law, who's 67, recently had hip surgery and needs someone around while she recovers. He works nights, so he suggested uh she stay with us for a few weeks so I could quote unquote help her during the day. The thing is, I work from home. I'm in meetings constantly, and my job is demanding. I told him that I don't mind visiting her on the weekends or even bringing her food, but I cannot be her nurse. He got frustrated and said, she's family and it'll just be temporary. But temporary has a way of becoming months in our family. And his mom already made comments about how quote unquote women should take care of the family. When I said no, he accused me of being cold-hearted. Now his siblings think that I'm leaving her to suffer, even though not one of them have offered to take her in. So am I being the jerk for refusing to be her caretaker?

SPEAKER_05:

I'm gonna say 50-50. Now, here's why. I'm gonna say 50-50. I don't think you gotta, you ain't gotta bathe her.

SPEAKER_03:

I mean, you never know. You know how severe that hip surgery is. It's your hips. Yeah, she can she can sit down and bathe herself. I mean, I don't know. With comments like that, she might be the kind to be like, I can't do much for myself.

SPEAKER_05:

Well, here's the wild part. I don't think if he has siblings, hold up. Wait a minute. Because why are they not helping out?

SPEAKER_03:

They haven't even volunteered, but then they got they want to leave a comment. And and do these siblings have spouses? It wouldn't matter. I'm a spouse, so I don't give a damn if they do have spouses. That's still your mother, too. Well, because I'm gonna say right now, there's two other eyes.

SPEAKER_05:

Well, here's the thing, here's the thing. Right now, I knew your mother wouldn't want me taking care of her, so ain't a problem. And my mom wouldn't want me taking care of either, so we safe.

SPEAKER_03:

Bye. We safe. I think we're safe. No, I took I took care of my mom when she got hurt at work. Remember? We went and picked her up from my auntie's house. Yes, and she couldn't walk, and she was here for like two months because she couldn't be by herself.

SPEAKER_05:

Was I working then?

SPEAKER_03:

You you were always working.

SPEAKER_05:

I probably started working a lot so I wouldn't be around. Bye.

SPEAKER_03:

But I had to help her like walk upstairs. I had to help her with her little walker. Like, I mean, but that's my mom, you know? So yes, good for you. Goodbye.

SPEAKER_05:

But I don't I don't think she's been a jerk at all. No, I don't think I especially because like she has a job.

SPEAKER_03:

Like that's the thing. She has a job. But here's the thing: this is what people get misconscrewed. People who work from home, they think because people work from home that they can just like they can just like put their their job that's on the computer on hold and they can just walk away and do now. Granted, some people's work from home jobs might be that way. Others, it's like you're in an office, but you're just at home. And you can't just be like, okay, well, you work from home, so you can be there to take care of her.

SPEAKER_05:

She has meetings, like you said, she has meetings and something like her job is demanding, you know.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes. I mean, but on the other hand, on the other hand.

SPEAKER_05:

Again, I say, I'm gonna go back to this. He has siblings.

SPEAKER_03:

He does.

SPEAKER_05:

And if she has surgery, she got some type of insurance. I'm pretty sure they can work out something to get her a little uh in-home care nurse for some hours.

SPEAKER_03:

I was gonna say that too, but also it's like how much care. I think I think her biggest concern isn't so much of the care, I think it's the amount of time that she's gonna be there because she said, because he said it's temporary. She said, but in our family, temporary always equals months.

SPEAKER_05:

Right. You know? And then and and then you know how old people are. They put extras on everything.

SPEAKER_03:

And they try to soak it up.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh, they put extras on everything.

SPEAKER_03:

And they try to soak it up. Because I'm thinking, I'm thinking, okay, you just need someone to be around you just in case. So I can be in the office, you can be downstairs, I can set you up with lunch, you can sit there and watch your shows. Like, I shouldn't have to like be right there, you know. So if I'm working for the.

SPEAKER_05:

The thing is, if you have hip surgery, you gotta move somewhat. Right. And you gotta rehab somewhat. Right. So I shouldn't have to cater to you hand and foot. Right. You still do some things yourself. That's what I'm saying. But I don't think she's wrong at all. Shit. Okay. I know I wouldn't do it. Bye. Yes, you would. No, I wouldn't. Yes, you would.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay. Am I the asshole for refusing to share my inheritance with my siblings who are now threatening to sue me for undue influence? Okay. Um, my father passed away a few months ago, and in his will, he left his entire estate to me, explicitly disinheriting my brother Mark, who's 40, and my sister Jenna, who's 38. The thing is, 10 years ago, my father gave them both um$150,$150,000 each as an advance on their inheritance to start businesses because they begged and begged. He had a lot of money back then, so it wasn't much to him. Both of them blew it within two years vacations, cars, etc. And he and they both had the nerve to come back for more. When he refused, they got cruel. They stopped visiting him, wouldn't let him see his grandkids, and badmouthed him to the entire family, claiming he was a um a miser who was hoarding his money. It's his money. I don't understand that. Um, I was the one who was there for him. I took him to his doctor's appointments, helped him with his finances without ever touching a dime for myself, um, unlucky unlike my siblings, because I have a great job that I've worked hard for, and was with him in hospice when he died. It was just me and him at the end. His will is ironclawed, written by his longtime lawyer, and includes a clause stating they received their share during his lifetime. Mark and Jenna are furious. They've been blowing up my phone saying that I quote unquote poisoned him against them. They're um bad mouthing me to the family, and I'm getting phone calls from relatives that I should help them out. Now, now they've hired a lawyer, and today I was served papers. They're threatening to contest the will, claiming I took advantage of our father in his old age and used undue influence to get him to cut them out of the will. They offered to drop the lawsuit if I just give them both$100,000 each. I told them to get lost and that I would never give them a single cent of our father's money after how they treated him. I am so angry that I can barely speak. Am I the asshole for? Telling them that I see them in court and refusing to give them anything. I'm honestly worried that fighting this in court will take more in legal fees than just paying them out. But I'm also angry. And uh that's why I need an outside opinion because I've lost all perspective.

SPEAKER_05:

Hell no, you're not the asshole. Take that ass to court. Look here. You uh apparently your father left you the money to defend yourself.

SPEAKER_03:

That's hard.

SPEAKER_05:

So while they come out of pocket.

SPEAKER_03:

Honestly, I would have rather pay it to the lawyer than to pay it to you.

SPEAKER_05:

So why they come out of pocket, because I don't think they're gonna win anyway. If you said he had an ironclad wheel.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, yeah. So they can't. And in the wheel, it says that he gave them their inheritance during our living chance.

SPEAKER_05:

And then I'm pretty sure his lawyer will testify that he was an influence to change the wheel, and that you can also testify, and they can probably verify that they were both given the 150 uh Kep prior to him passing. Yep. And then I'm pretty sure you have family that will be witnesses to say that no, they have not been around or in his life since that point. Yeah man, fuck them.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, I always find it funny that when there's money involved and people die in the family.

SPEAKER_05:

They chase, we switch up.

SPEAKER_03:

People get crazy. They switch up. People get real crazy. Money just make money makes people do fine. I did that firsthand. I know. That's what I'm saying. We've experienced it. And money just makes people, money makes people like some people. I'm not gonna say all people. Money makes people just like I don't know, lose a part of themselves, or just like their true self comes out if they think that they're due like some money that they didn't necessarily, especially money that they didn't necessarily earn.

SPEAKER_05:

That ain't theirs.

SPEAKER_03:

That ain't theirs. Like that's crazy. You do realize how do you know? You do realize that even though you're his children, you're not like entitled to his money. It's still his money.

SPEAKER_05:

But they they were thinking that, oh, everything's gonna be split three ways. You know that's that's what they were thinking. Yeah, of course. But Pop said, no, y'all had y'all.

SPEAKER_03:

And you know what?

SPEAKER_05:

And they probably also think like you don't even need it, you have a good job. You're doing well for yourself. What do you need this money for? What do you need the money for? Watch, so you can blow it again?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. On a Yukon. Bye. But you always have, if there's multiple kids and there's like parents who have done well financially, I feel like there is always that one child who makes it their life mission to not have to depend on their parents' money as they get older. And then you have the other kids who are like who grow up knowing like my parents are loaded, and uh, yeah, they're gonna always be there.

SPEAKER_05:

That's what we have messed up because Miss Phoenix thinks we're loaded. We're not. I tried to tell her, but she thinks like I got it.

SPEAKER_03:

I mean, it's not it's not her responsibility to like know at all, you know, but I don't want her to have the impression that we're like. I do. And no, she's like, I want her to think we broke.

SPEAKER_05:

No, you don't want her to think we broke. We don't have to be broke. I just want her to think we're broke.

SPEAKER_03:

Wait a minute. Wait, this is just a side note. We were driving one day, and from the backseat, she was in the backseat and the car was quiet. We weren't even talking, the music wasn't even playing. And out of nowhere, she said, Mommy, I said, Yes, Phoenix. Are we broke? And I was like, What? I was like, I said, Phoenix, do you think we're broke? No. I said, Well then why would you ask me that? Well, because somebody at school, uh, it was a little boy or something at school, um, was talking about like talking about some kids and like, oh, your mom, your mom and dad is broke, and like, you know, so she was like, Are we broke? And I was like, No, Phoenix. And she was like, but we're rich in love, right?

SPEAKER_05:

Yes, very much. Rich in love.

SPEAKER_03:

I said, Girl, we so rich in love.

SPEAKER_05:

Right. Right.

SPEAKER_03:

We so rich in love. She was she's hilarious. Um, okay, here we go. Am I the asshole for telling my husband's kids who are 24 and 22 that my house isn't their quote unquote family home, and it's not my fault. Their mother lost theirs.

SPEAKER_05:

Damn. Okay. Come on. Come on now.

SPEAKER_03:

I married my husband two years ago, and he has two kids, 24 and 22. The 24-year-old is a female and the 22 is a male. He had a very nasty divorce from his wife, um, or a very nasty divorce from their mom that was fought over the course of years. Part of the reason for the marriage ending was that she had a drug problem and blew through their savings and was running up credit cards that he didn't know about to pay for. The divorce finalized when the youngest was 16. She wanted the house in the divorce, which was a big part of the fight, and she ended up getting it. She immediately moved in her addict boyfriend and another couple that they used with, and the house ended up uh getting destroyed and falling into foreclosure, and then proceeded and they proceeded to squat in it and had to be forcibly removed. Because my husband and his ex ended up also having to file bankruptcy, he had been living in a friend's basement when I met him due to his credit being wrecked. Fast forward, we are married. He moves into my house. I got a prenuptial agreement. Um, he can't be on the mortgage because of his credit. Um, his ex and kids are living with grandparents. His kids and ex don't like me, and they refer to me as the, you know, bad word. The cunt. Uh-huh. But at this point, they're all adults. So I'm not gonna force anything on them. Grandparents recently had to sell their home and they are now living with their mom's friends. They asked if they could come in and move in with us, and I said, no. Hell no. Absolutely not. Both of them got angry and started telling me that this was their dad's home, and that makes this their family home too. And that it wasn't up to me if they could or could not live in our home. Test me. They started spouting off every insult you could think of. I interrupted them and told them that in fact, this was not their family home. And if they were looking for their family home, that they needed to go talk to their mom because she chopped it up and put it up her nose, and that was not my problem.

unknown:

I love it.

SPEAKER_03:

Not chopped it up and put it up her nose. I love it. That's crazy word. I love it. Uh, a huge part of the reason I don't want them here is their mom has since uh squatted multiple places, forcing roommates to have uh to threaten her with eviction to get them out, and basically told the last one that she would leave for a certain amount of money. The kids and her are very close, and I don't want that happening in my house. We also have reason to believe that her oldest is also now using with her. Am I the asshole? Hell no. Absolutely not. As a board member of the petty community, I'm father is not even on this mortgage.

SPEAKER_05:

Look here. As the board member of the petty committee, I think we 100% endorse your matches of your of your mother, chopped it up and snorted it up her nose.

SPEAKER_03:

She chopped it up. She said, listen, don't come over here with that BS. If you're looking for your family childhood home, go and ask your mom who chopped it up and snorted it up her nose.

SPEAKER_05:

Because in my mind, I'm thinking, hold on, I was just the cunt.

SPEAKER_03:

Now you're asking a couple of nuts.

SPEAKER_05:

Now you're trying to stay with the cunt?

SPEAKER_03:

You don't like cunt. No, they're not trying to stay with the cunt. They're trying to come live with their father.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh, but he lives with the cunt.

SPEAKER_03:

But you're 24 and 22. Y'all can figure it out.

SPEAKER_05:

This house is in my name.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Your dad not.

SPEAKER_03:

And we have a prenup. Hold on, hold on. So even if we walk away, your daddy ain't getting shit.

SPEAKER_05:

Hold on, hold on. I can put your daddy out because he's not on here either. Your daddy's not on the D.

SPEAKER_03:

Your daddy is here by the skin of his skinny skin skin.

SPEAKER_05:

Right. Now don't fuck up with your daddy got going on.

SPEAKER_03:

I can't.

SPEAKER_05:

This is crazy.

SPEAKER_03:

But not them saying, like, that's my father's house. No, baby. Your daddy moved in with me. Your daddy moved in with me because he was living in the basement because your mother snorted y'all life away.

SPEAKER_05:

Um, on a serious note, substance abuse is a serious matter.

SPEAKER_03:

It's a very serious matter.

SPEAKER_05:

I hope that they're that the brother and the mother get help if they're both using. Absolutely. Um on a petty note, bye. You're not that.

SPEAKER_03:

You're definitely not the asshole. You have to protect, you're protecting you and your union with your husband, and you also are protecting your space. And I'm sure it's difficult for him as a father because those are still his children. You know what I'm saying? But they're also 24 and 22. So at some point, we're gonna have to start taking responsibility for our own selves.

SPEAKER_05:

And I I hear what you're saying, babe, but it also kind of feels like they made their decision.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Like they chose the mother.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, that's what that's but that's what she's saying, that they're really close to their mom.

SPEAKER_05:

They they they chose because that's and they granted that's their mother. Yeah, they're probably really close to their mother, and they chose the mother in the divorce, and they probably felt like the dad was at fault and and they probably feel guilty if they leave her. They probably felt like mom just needed help and dad wasn't willing to give her the help.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. I mean, speculation, it could be a lot of things, but you know. But when I'm right, I'm right. But no, you are not the ass. But I love the petty. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

I I I love the petty.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay. Let's see if we got time for one more. We'll do one more. Let's see.

SPEAKER_05:

Juicy.

SPEAKER_03:

Here we go.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh, did you do the one that the one that wrote in?

SPEAKER_03:

We did it last week. And then there's another one for like next week.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

Um, let's see. Am I the asshole for robbing my wife's affair partner, which has now led to his divorce?

SPEAKER_05:

Wait, hold on. What? Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

You want me to read it again?

SPEAKER_05:

No, let's get into it. Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

I, 32, have been married to my soon-to-be ex-wife who's 30, Madison, for four years. Uh, we are currently in counseling, but it's not gonna work. About a year ago, I found out she was having an affair by coming home to their clothes in our living room and sounds coming from our bedroom.

SPEAKER_05:

It was a whole contagious video, Nam.

SPEAKER_03:

I lost it. I was getting my cricket bat out of the front closet when I stopped to think about consequences. I didn't want to go to jail. See, that's what see, he stopped himself. Instead, I took all their clothes and left quietly. I went to a friend's house, but not before throwing all the clothes in a McDonald's garbage can. I turned off my phone and got shitfaced with my buddy. His wife hosed us off in the morning. After I turned my phone back on, I had dozens of calls and texts from Madison. First scared because she got my updated flight information, then upset that I hadn't called her to let her know that I was coming home early, then freaked out that the house had been broken into, then crazy because she figured out it was me. They just got more deranged. The guy she was with is five inches shorter than me and about 60 pounds lighter. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. So if he had taken my clothes, it would be obvious. He ended up calling his friend to get his spare keys from his house. Unfortunately for him, his wife smelled a rat and followed his friend back to my house where she saw him leaving in my clothes, the oversized clothes. Because remember, he took their clothes. So that was like his keys and stuff. Long story short, she took pictures and she had evidence of his infidelity, which caused their prenup to be canceled. Let's get into it, which cost him a lot of money. Um, it is all one big giant shit show.

SPEAKER_01:

Let's watch it.

SPEAKER_03:

Uh, it took a couple of months, but my wife convinced me to try and forgive her. We started going to counseling and we were working, working our way through it until recently. In a counseling session, she said that I was wrong to steal his wallet, phone, and car keys. She said that his divorce is costing him a lot of money and that I should have dealt with it in a more mature manner, and that it was my fault. I've never admitted to taking his stuff. To begin with, I was afraid he might call the cops. Then I didn't want to get her ammunition in the case she wanted a divorce. Now I just don't care. I told her that her cheating was the reason her boyfriend is getting divorced, and that I hope his ex takes him for everything. I'm still not living at home. I have my own apartment and I'm filing for a divorce. Now that I know how she feels, it's kind of a slap in the face that she is blaming me for the divorce.

SPEAKER_05:

Man, fuck her. Look here. I don't understand this. Look here, people. You cannot tell people how to react to your shenanigans. To your shit. Yeah. You can't throw shit at someone and tell them it's chocolate.

SPEAKER_03:

And tell them to relax, calm down. It's a treat. It ain't that bad.

SPEAKER_05:

Look here, sir. Uh take her for everything she got. I'm happy. Look here.

SPEAKER_03:

People act like karma ain't real. Karma is real. People act like there's no consequences to their actions. We tell our daughter accountability apparently is higher costs, so people ain't buying it.

SPEAKER_05:

They take well they say you don't take accountability on TikTok. Um we tell our daughter all the time, every action has a consequence. Now you have to think about the possible consequences and whether you're gonna like them or not. So you while you two were having fun, thought you guys had your little sneaking link and your shit got pulled up because he came home early. Yep.

SPEAKER_03:

Now and then not you getting upset that he came home early. Right. In the text message, talking about why you didn't let me know you were coming home early.

SPEAKER_05:

Why you let me know you were coming?

SPEAKER_03:

So you could have him out of the house before I got there? I mean, I guess that would have been courteous.

SPEAKER_05:

Why you didn't let me know you was fucking him? We can play why why why didn't you all night?

SPEAKER_01:

That's crazy work.

SPEAKER_05:

That's crazy, that's crazy. That's crazy work.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, yeah, because now you're def you're first you convince me for you first you convince me for us to work it out. Right. Then you convince me to go to counseling. Right. And then when we get in counseling, you defend him and fault me for you being caught and for me for him getting a divorce too when you both were married persons. Crazy work.

SPEAKER_04:

Crazy work.

SPEAKER_03:

Crazy work.

SPEAKER_04:

Crazy work.

SPEAKER_03:

Crazy Madison. Get your shit together.

SPEAKER_05:

She's gonna take him for everything, and she deserves it. He's a lion's.

SPEAKER_03:

Now he's not gonna be able to take me out to the fancy hotels that we normally would go to.

SPEAKER_05:

It don't matter, Madison, because you ain't gonna be there soon anyway. And the fact, first of all, he must be doing quite well for himself. The fact that he's paying for a house and an apartment at the same time, sir. Call me.

SPEAKER_03:

We we can work something out.

SPEAKER_05:

I need I need to know what you're doing that you got a house in an apartment.

SPEAKER_03:

We can work something out at the same time. I can't.

SPEAKER_05:

Because I mean, hey, you know.

SPEAKER_03:

Times is tough. I mean no. Times are tough. You know, these are challenging times. Hey, sometimes you gotta do something strange for a little change. Do something strange for a little change. I'm not listening I'm not above, I'm not above a good hustle.

SPEAKER_05:

Right. Right.

SPEAKER_03:

I can't. Whatever it was, don't say it. Let's just move into the comment of the week.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay, the comment of the week.

SPEAKER_03:

That's what I was gonna say.

SPEAKER_05:

Comment of the week. This is my part, okay? This comment comes from the post about um he was in a long-distance relationship with a girl when she was sleeping in the hotel room with her friend that was.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, her best, her best, her best friend is a male.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_03:

And she slept in the same bed nonsexually with him.

SPEAKER_05:

And uh uh Mr. Donnie do it all on Instagram. He said, bro, don't even need to call a psychic hotline. And I was like, facts. How does he not see what's going on here?

SPEAKER_03:

That's why you don't need to call a psychic hotline. He don't even need to call a psych because she's even if you don't think a man could you don't think a man and a woman could sleep in the same bed and not have relations? Relations. You don't you don't think a man and a woman can sleep in the same bed and not have relations.

SPEAKER_05:

Only if that woman is mad and married, and she's laying next to her husband, she's mad at him. Then she don't have relations. You don't you don't think you don't think the second comment of the week comes from TikTok? It comes from James.

SPEAKER_03:

Just James. Uh just James James teets humility.

SPEAKER_05:

And this is regarding to the um the shit show where she wanted to get a rise out of her husband.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, she wanted a reaction out of her husband, so she cheated to get a reaction out of her husband and got one. He said, he said Did Tyler Perry write this?

SPEAKER_05:

Did Tyler Perry write this? And I said, I said all we all we missing is the bad wig, and this is a Tyler Perry movie.

SPEAKER_03:

All we missing is the wig. Bye, Namel. Goodbye. And right above his comment, Alonso said in quotation marks, because she said this to her husband, he just left me to spiral. He said 100 women versus accountability. You think that's funny? That's hilarious. You're trying to say women don't take accountability?

SPEAKER_05:

You would see the look, the amount of comments in there that I again. I again I I see that that the whole gender war that y'all be doing is real. I don't partake in it because I don't care.

SPEAKER_03:

It's like no matter what the topic is.

SPEAKER_05:

The women will defend the women and the men will defend the men.

SPEAKER_03:

That's not that's not true. Okay, logic, logic is logic.

SPEAKER_05:

Sometimes. Okay, all right, sure.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, guys. This has been another episode of the Life After I Do podcast. If you are not doing so already, don't forget to like and follow, share, comment, engage, do all of the things. All the stuff. And we appreciate all of the things.

SPEAKER_05:

We appreciate all the new followers on YouTube.

SPEAKER_03:

All the new Booskies that have joined the Facebook. Um don't forget, follow us on all of our social media platforms, um, Facebook, Instagram.

SPEAKER_05:

And I'm gonna say it. What? To our to our local Booscaroni, Erica.

SPEAKER_03:

You know who you are, Erica. Our local Booscaroni. Thank you for your support. Thank you for your excitement when you ran up to us in Target and was like, not me finding out y'all got a podcast. Um, but yes, don't forget to follow like Shimon.

SPEAKER_05:

Yes, I did report that you wasn't working that day.

SPEAKER_03:

Goodbye. Um Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube.

SPEAKER_05:

All that.

SPEAKER_03:

All of the above. We appreciate all the new love, all the new support. You guys are amazing. And I was those made worth doing this.

SPEAKER_05:

Y'all see the picture? She's not taller than me. She's got a lot more ass, so she sits higher. What are you talking about? You you look taller on the episode, you look taller.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, my legs are swinging right now.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, but that that ass is holding you up. That ass is fat.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay.

SPEAKER_05:

Anyways. And it was cheeky this week.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay. Anywho. Anyways, guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode. Don't forget, you get a new episode every Wednesday. Every Wednesday. And until then. Peace, Booskies. Peace, Booskies.

SPEAKER_05:

Let's go, birds.

Head Shot

Kynesha Gill

Host
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Morice Gill

Host