Life After I Do Podcast
Marriage and relationships can be tough. You may feel like you’re the only one struggling but you’re not. Life After I do is a weekly podcast where Morice and Kynesha, a black married millennial couple, share their experiences and advice on everything from kids and family to intimacy and connection. Noting is off limits.
In their 21 years together and 7 years of marriage, Morice and Kynesha have learned a lot about what it takes to make a relationship work. They know the importance of communication, trust and commitment. They also know it’s okay to not have it all figured out.
Join them every Wednesday as they talk about their own journey of “Life After I do”.
Life After I Do Podcast
King Treatment
What feels like real love after all these years together—big gestures or small, daily choices? We explore that question through our “King Treatment or Bare Minimum” check-in and talk honestly about what we’re getting right, where we miss each other, and how to keep showing up even in chaos.
We also tackle two listener stories: one about a boyfriend’s unrealistic move-in plan, and another about inheritance money in a blended family. These conversations get real fast—and bring out honest thoughts about partnership, boundaries, and protecting your peace.
Whether you’re dealing with cohabitation, parenting, stepfamily dynamics, or just trying to reset your love language, there’s something here for you.
Thanks for rocking with us! Don’t forget to follow Life After I Do so you never miss an episode. Got a relationship situation you want us to weigh in on? Hit us at https://linktr.ee/lifeafteridopodcast — we just might talk about it in a future episode.
What you should be grateful.
SPEAKER_01:I didn't say I wasn't grateful. It's just the way you said it.
SPEAKER_06:You should like you should be grateful. You should. A lot of times you're not.
SPEAKER_01:I'm helping you to become a better man. Okay. My job is to put you in situations where you have no choice but to do better and be better. So whenever you're feeling that way, it's because you know your wife is putting the pressure on you to be a better man, to do more, be better. I got you got it. Okay. Somebody wants to practice their lung capacity.
SPEAKER_06:You know. Alright, guys. This is gonna be a very short episode today because she's in her practice. She's in her feelings. And uh I'm in my feelings? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Wow. You're in your feelings. Trying to say I'm emotional?
SPEAKER_06:You very we every human being is emotional.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, not every human being.
SPEAKER_06:Well, psychopath.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, so not everyone's emotional, but you know, so it could be worse. Hi.
SPEAKER_06:How you doing?
SPEAKER_01:Fine.
SPEAKER_06:How was your week?
SPEAKER_01:Great.
SPEAKER_06:All right.
SPEAKER_01:How was your week?
SPEAKER_06:It was all right.
SPEAKER_01:Good.
SPEAKER_06:Go birds.
SPEAKER_01:Glad we got that out the way.
SPEAKER_06:All right. You know what?
SPEAKER_01:I'm just teasing.
SPEAKER_06:Go birds. My birds won. That was good.
SPEAKER_01:What was the score? A lot to a little?
SPEAKER_06:No, it was uh a little to enough. That's what it was. A little to enough.
SPEAKER_01:So they just barely not sucked or look here.
SPEAKER_06:Okay. Look here, y'all.
SPEAKER_01:What?
SPEAKER_06:She's mad at me. Huh? So now she's gonna be angry, bitter. This is gonna be a good episode. I don't know what you're talking about. Y'all gonna see the energy she brings?
SPEAKER_01:I don't know what you're talking about.
SPEAKER_06:So yeah, I had I had a um I tell me about the game first. The game we won. That's all it matters.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, who do we play? The Buccaneers?
SPEAKER_06:No.
SPEAKER_01:Who?
SPEAKER_06:It don't matter.
SPEAKER_00:Um Who do we play?
SPEAKER_06:It don't matter. Uh I had a good week. My Dodgers are doing great. SC is pissing me off, and my Eagles won.
SPEAKER_01:Why are you why is SC pissing off?
SPEAKER_06:Because they keep losing the bums they shouldn't lose to.
SPEAKER_01:Oh. They're having a cowboy season.
SPEAKER_06:I mean the Cowboys, that's no. Oh. Cowboys never have a great season. Fuck the Cowboys.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_06:And she did. If y'all hear anything about it.
SPEAKER_01:If y'all heard that in the background, that's her daughter playing with her toys. She's having a big. And she's all, yay, she did it.
SPEAKER_06:She's in a she's in the bathtub. Oh, now yeah, but we recorded home.
SPEAKER_01:Right. Of course we recorded home.
SPEAKER_06:So yeah. How was your week?
SPEAKER_01:My week was good. Go ahead. I can't complain. My week was good. Um tell them about your PR. My P my PB?
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, tell them about it.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, I pulled 365 for the first time.
SPEAKER_06:And then what'd you say?
SPEAKER_01:I should have just gone for like 380.
SPEAKER_06:So you were sandbagging.
SPEAKER_01:No, I wasn't sandbagging. I was um I didn't watch.
SPEAKER_06:I want you to know that we the people are proud of you.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, thank you.
SPEAKER_06:You're 365.
SPEAKER_01:Thank you. I'm proud of myself. Thank you.
SPEAKER_06:We know that you could have probably done 405. Okay. Because you're pretty strong.
SPEAKER_01:Well, that's that's my that's my goal. Like my first 400's goal is 405.
SPEAKER_06:If we could just merge our strengths together, you know, it would it would take your squat of five pounds.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. Five pounds?
SPEAKER_06:I only squat about five pounds.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. So it'll put me at what, 320? Put you at 305. 305. Oh, whatever you are. 320 to put me at 320. 325. I can give you 15. I'm at 315 on my squat. Yeah. Yeah. But um, so yeah, my week was good. Um, got to hang with the kid. Well, got to hang with the kid. We did the all, you know, the fall festivities are rolling in. So we had Harvest Festival, which was your absolute favorite. We know how much you loved it. Um It was terrible. But my baby, not listen here. My baby don't play when it comes to competition. Okay, she don't play when it comes to, it don't matter what type of contest it is.
SPEAKER_06:She won the hula hoop contest.
SPEAKER_01:That baby got in that hula hoop contest and she was like, let me show y'all how my hips don't lie. And she got in there and she was like, and then when you were sweating. But when I when I had posted it, right, um, your sister, she was like, Oh, not her uh showing off at the end because when she was the only one standing, I don't know if you noticed, but she held up two number ones on each hand and she was like, Yeah, I'm number one. And your sister was hurt, was like, not her being cocky.
SPEAKER_06:Show out. When you win, you deserve to do things like that. But you have to lose how you win.
SPEAKER_01:Um, so yeah, that was really fun. Um, and then watching her and her squad sing their number one hit right now. Like them, the if your kids don't know about the K-pop demon hunters right now.
SPEAKER_04:I'm so sick of Golden.
SPEAKER_00:It's a catchy song. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
SPEAKER_01:I'm so tired of that song. It's so catchy, though. I'm sick of it. But the other one is um uh she likes my little soda pop, your my soda pop.
SPEAKER_06:I'm sick of all of them.
SPEAKER_01:It's catchy.
SPEAKER_06:She's about to start singing Blessed Assurance.
SPEAKER_01:Uh she knows she knows her gospels too. From her, from her granny. She knows, she knows. Blessed Assurance. Oh, I was like, I thought she was singing it right now. Um, yeah, so that was fun. Family time is always always fun. But yeah.
SPEAKER_06:Until you decided to participate and be part of the uh what is it called?
SPEAKER_01:It was the it was supposed to be for the limbo contest. You were up there, but I said I'm trying to go home. You still own the limbo stick. Listen, because he asked for parent participation and he was like, can I get two parents up here to facilitate the uh limbo contest? And I was like, okay, I can do that. But I thought we were gonna immediately go into the limbo contest after the last hula hoop contest, right? So the last uh group to perform for the hula hoop contest was the six, I mean the fifth graders. First of all, I mean they were relentless because all of us was sitting there like, well, damn, how long y'all gonna sit here in hula hoop? I mean, them. Them girls and boys was just hula hooping. I'm we send them, me and the other parents sitting up there just holding the stick, like, okay, can we hurry up and move along?
SPEAKER_06:The funny thing, yeah, but they won't clean their room.
SPEAKER_01:And then, and then when there was no um no winner, he was like, okay, now we have to make it more difficult. He made them hop on one leg, he made them do two jumps, and then he made them put on a second hula hoop. So in me and my other parent mind, we're like, okay, for sure, this is finna be over now because now they got a hula hoop. Would you believe them girls stood up there and hula hoop for like another smooth five minutes with two hula hoops around their waist? I was like, okay, come on now. Somebody, someone has, someone has to give up. But it ended up being one of her um, one of her gym mates that go to the same gymnastics gym that ended up winning. And the poor baby had broken a little sweat, but she did she did not lose real, well, she did not lose her rhythm or her rotation.
SPEAKER_06:You said it ended up being, and I instantly thought about that song you don't like that I love. What song? It ended up being one of my number one records.
SPEAKER_01:Oh gosh, I can't stand that song. I haven't liked that song since I was a little girl.
SPEAKER_03:Then I did instance. I have not liked that song since I was a child. That you make me woman. I don't like that song. I said you'll be gentle with me.
SPEAKER_01:Please stop. And I I hope you will. I'm trying to be your friend. You're making it difficult. Um, yeah, but after that, so we so then I thought, so I thought once that was done, once she won, I was me and the other parent were like, okay.
SPEAKER_06:Okay, then let's get this going.
SPEAKER_01:Then he goes, now moving on to the parent competition. I said, the what?
SPEAKER_06:Why did we start this whole stick so early?
SPEAKER_01:Why did we start the stick so early? Because not only was I getting upset because I'm missing out time with my kid. Yeah, you know, and I was like, and she's with the parent who doesn't want to be here. So I know he's not making it enjoyable for her. So I really wanted to be there, you know. I didn't want to leave her with the parent who didn't want to be there. You know what I'm saying? And so it's the truth. You did it.
SPEAKER_06:My baby had a good time.
SPEAKER_01:She did have a great time.
SPEAKER_06:Can I let her go down?
SPEAKER_01:And then as soon as you saw me, what was the first words out of your mouth?
SPEAKER_06:I'm ready to go. Oh, because I was having stomach issues. I had to go. I needed to get to my bathroom. ASAP. But I let my baby go to uh, she went on the monkey bars. She played bathroom. She's good on the monkey bars. I don't know. I couldn't see. It was so damn dark. Oh, wow. We just we knew there was kids over there. We didn't know what they were doing.
SPEAKER_01:We knew there was kids.
SPEAKER_06:Because they didn't have no lights on that side of the playground. Oh. I said, we know the kids are over there. And so let's hope they didn't hop the door. The other mom was like, Can you see them? I said, I don't see them all. She said, Oh, there's my she's like, Oh, my daughter's outfit. Because she was wearing red, yeah. So I was like, Okay, there they go. I was like, Yeah, but I mean, we're gonna say this shit good.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, sure. Okay, she did great.
SPEAKER_01:Um, yeah, so then we did the hula hoo. I mean, uh, we did the uh limbo.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Lil Boy won. He came up to me. He was like, Did I win? He was like, Do I get a big chocolate bar?
SPEAKER_03:He did.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, he did. He got the big chocolate bar. I was happy for him because he was like, like, girl, I gotta get that big chocolate bar.
SPEAKER_06:He was trying to get it. He was trying to get it. He was like, look, I didn't do this for nothing.
SPEAKER_01:I want the big chocolate.
SPEAKER_06:I didn't show up for nothing. Give me my chocolate now.
SPEAKER_01:He was funny. But yeah, so that was fun. So I had a pretty good week.
SPEAKER_06:I'm happy you had a good week.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:She is she's going at it.
SPEAKER_01:There's like a whole script or something that's happening upstairs.
SPEAKER_06:She's having fun. We're gonna let her be. If y'all hear the background on this podcast, yeah, we got a kid, let it go. So what we got today, Blue Skies?
SPEAKER_01:Um, okay, so remember when we did uh Princess Treatment or Bare Minimum? Uh-huh. So now it's King Treatment or Bare Minimum.
SPEAKER_06:Oh, so it's about me? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So you, you know, you're gonna like it.
SPEAKER_04:You just said you didn't like it.
SPEAKER_01:I did not say that. I said that I want to be your friend or something like that.
SPEAKER_04:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Um, but you were making it difficult because you were seeing us.
SPEAKER_04:You just said I couldn't have brown sugar. You literally were told I couldn't have brown sugar.
SPEAKER_01:Because I was upset.
SPEAKER_04:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Nobody wants to hand out sugar when they're upset. Um sugar. So well, I guess that can be that can be that can be the first the first question. If I give you if if giving you sugar when I'm upset, giving you sugar when I'm upset. Because you're not paying attention. Giving you sugar when I'm upset.
SPEAKER_05:Like kisses?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Or like whatever. Is that bare minimum working treatment?
SPEAKER_06:I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:What would you consider it be?
SPEAKER_06:Bare minimum, I guess.
SPEAKER_01:Wow, really?
SPEAKER_06:Because I gotta kiss you when I'm mad.
SPEAKER_01:No, you don't. You ain't gotta kiss me, sucker.
SPEAKER_06:Okay, y'all see this? Y'all see this.
SPEAKER_01:You ain't gotta kiss me. She and a she gonna attitude. She gotta just say two today. Who do you think this is?
SPEAKER_06:This is gonna be, don't worry, y'all. She got attitude, so it's gonna be a short, short episode.
SPEAKER_01:Who do you think this is?
SPEAKER_06:Yep.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. Lord. So this is gonna be king treatment or bare minimum. All right. So I'll ask you a question, and I'm gonna say, me doing this, is this king treatment for you or bare minimum?
SPEAKER_06:All right. I'm pretty sure.
SPEAKER_01:And then I want you to explain why.
SPEAKER_06:I think most of them are gonna be bare minimum, but okay.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. Here we go. All right, here we go. Daily acts of care, okay? Okay. When I notice that you need something before you even mention it, is that king treatment or bare minimum? Think about that.
SPEAKER_06:That's king treatment because you barely uh notice it.
SPEAKER_01:Really? Okay, so you're so you want to be funny? You want to be funny? Okay. No, I just I just need to gauge. I just need to gauge where this is going today, and I can see what path you want to be on. Hold on so that's now.
SPEAKER_06:Let me explain. Because a lot of times you don't know when I'm low on um uh shaving cream. You don't know when I'm low on deodorant. You don't know, you don't know when my um uh when I need a controller.
SPEAKER_01:You don't know. A controller? Okay, Damel. You don't know. Okay, I'm not doing this with you.
SPEAKER_06:Damn, when you go grocery shopping, you know when I'm low on protein shakes. So that stuff you do, dude.
SPEAKER_01:I know when you need to make a doctor's appointment and I make it for you. I know when you need new body wash. I know when you need new. I know when you need body wash, okay? I know when you need new draws, I get you new draws because if now you have never bought me draws. I have never bought you draws.
SPEAKER_06:You don't buy me draws. You thought what you do is you thump my draws away. You forced me to buy new draws.
SPEAKER_01:DeMail.
SPEAKER_03:Sade. Sade. I'm not doing this with you today. When have you ever bought me draws?
SPEAKER_01:Babe, I got you draws from Target, remember? And you said you didn't like them and you wanted to order something else off of Amazon.
SPEAKER_06:Oh, you probably got the wrong ones.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly. See, look at you. Oh, see, this is oh, this is this is a part of being a wife that like people don't tell you about. This is why we're not doing it. This is why I'm keeping a running record of things I need to have a discussion with uh with Phoenix about as she gets older. Oh, okay. So that she can like. I'm gonna have a discussion with her too. Um, let's see.
SPEAKER_06:It's gonna be different though.
SPEAKER_01:Um, when I thank you for your hard work, is that bare minimum or a king treatment?
SPEAKER_06:Bare minimum.
SPEAKER_01:Why?
SPEAKER_06:Because I should at least feel appreciated.
SPEAKER_01:So me saying thank you is the it goes towards it. Okay.
SPEAKER_06:You know they say faith without you.
SPEAKER_01:When I let you sleep on your day off.
SPEAKER_06:That that is king treatment. Look here. Look here. Because I know that, you know, we have sometimes we have family stuff, but sometimes, you know, I just ain't got it. Um I I am I have been grinding, putting in these 60 hours every week, plus reporting and video editing and stuff like that. And I just I'm done. I am I am You're cooked. You're toast. I am mentally finished.
SPEAKER_00:Okay.
SPEAKER_06:I have the mental capacity at that point of a of a of a baby just born to the world. I need to sleep every three hours. What?
SPEAKER_01:Every three hours, the baby just born needs more than that.
SPEAKER_06:Uh and so when you do allow me to just sleep or just lay around only you know when I need it, that's that's keen true. I appreciate you. Because sometimes you I've had days where I wanted to do that and you'd be like.
SPEAKER_01:That's not in your cards for you today.
SPEAKER_06:You said today, you said today that's not your testimony.
SPEAKER_01:It looks like you had a plan.
SPEAKER_06:That's not your testimony.
SPEAKER_01:But I'm gonna go ahead and put your plan on the shelf and give you what the family plan is today.
SPEAKER_06:So yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Um, when I ask you what you want for dinner, instead of deciding for you, is that bare minimum or king treatment?
SPEAKER_06:That's something I'm neither. Because you don't have to ask me that all the time. Because I I now operate of whatever you cook, I'm going to eat. And if there's something I want in particular, I'm going to let you know.
SPEAKER_01:But then I get annoyed when you don't tell me because it's like I don't want to have to come up with ideas for dinner all the time. It's exhausting.
SPEAKER_06:I know you don't want to come up with ideas for dinner all the time, but at the same time, like, what's for dinner is one decision I don't want to make.
SPEAKER_01:Wow, welcome to my life. Welcome to my life.
SPEAKER_06:Because before my weight loss journey, it'd be like, just get some pizza.
SPEAKER_01:And what did I say today? I was like, I said, damn, I really could go for some pizza. I just don't feel like being miserable, so therefore I'm not gonna do it. I wouldn't risk it. Yeah, I'm not gonna risk it. I'm not gonna risk it. I will be immobile tomorrow.
SPEAKER_02:Immobile is wild.
SPEAKER_01:Be immobile. Immobile is wild. It's true. It's true. Because as soon as I eat it, I'm gonna want to lay down and laying down with marinara sauce on your stomach.
SPEAKER_06:That's why.
SPEAKER_01:I'll be immobile tomorrow.
SPEAKER_06:Well, what if we get it with barbecue sauce on the marinara sauce?
SPEAKER_01:That's disgusting. I don't play those kind of games. That's weird. Unless you get it with pesto sauce. Now I play those games.
SPEAKER_06:Oh, do you?
SPEAKER_01:That's good. Um, when I take care of you when you're sick.
SPEAKER_06:Bear Ben. Because you sign them the paper. Because you sign them papers. Them papers. Them papers.
SPEAKER_01:It's in the contract.
SPEAKER_06:And honestly, taking care of me when I'm sick ain't that bad. All you gotta do.
SPEAKER_01:Larely, he's never taking care of himself when he's sick. Because he is a horrible patient. A horrible patient. He's needy. First of all.
SPEAKER_06:You don't listen.
SPEAKER_01:You don't listen. You're a crybaby.
SPEAKER_06:Okay, hold on now. You're not finna blasphemy.
SPEAKER_01:Damn.
SPEAKER_06:I'm gonna come up with a whole disc record for your ass. Damel. I am not a crybaby.
SPEAKER_01:You're a crybaby when you're I am not. You call me every five minutes to tell me the same thing, but with a different intensity. If you have a headache, you'll call me in the room and be like, babe, my head is killing me. I'll be like, okay, babe, let me get you, let me get you some like Tyler, some aspirin, whatever. No, no, no. I'll get him some medicine. I'll make him some tea. I tuck listen here. I tuck him in, quite literally.
SPEAKER_02:I don't like to be tucked in.
SPEAKER_01:No, you do. Why are you embarrassed? Why are you tapping for the people? It's fine. You don't have to be embarrassed in front of the people. There are friends now. Listen.
SPEAKER_06:I'm not embarrassed. I don't get to get to the city.
SPEAKER_01:I tuck him in. Don't I tuck him in. Don't let him play you. You put me in sometimes. Listen, okay. I literally take care of him like he's like a six-year-old child.
SPEAKER_06:You carry me to the bed, too?
SPEAKER_01:No, I don't carry you to the bed. I mean, I could. Change my diaper? Like, I could, but I don't. But I do all of that, and then I'll be like, okay, I'm gonna let you have your rest. I close the door so you don't have to hear her. I stay downstairs. Like, I try to give you your space. And then you'll call me on the phone downstairs five minutes later, and then what do you say? Babe, this, I mean, this headache, it just won't go away. And it just doesn't feel right. I'll be like, okay. And then when things start getting really intense, where I start to panic, and I'm like, okay, well, maybe we should just go in. Let's go in because then he reverts and he goes, No, I think I'm gonna be all right. I'ma just, I'm gonna just tough it out.
SPEAKER_06:I gotta feel like I'm gonna die to go to the doctor.
SPEAKER_01:No, what you do is you try to convince me at home that you're dying so I can give you all of the attention. And then when I say, okay, I feel like this is beginning to be above what I can care for you for, and I'm like, let's go to the emergency room. You're like, nah, I'm gonna go.
SPEAKER_06:But see, because we had COVID, I had now have something to gauge it off of. That's not how Boris, that's not how that works. Because if I feel like I felt on day four, five, and six of COVID, because where I thought for sure, I said, Lord, I'm gonna see you soon. This is it. I thought for sure. I said, I'm sorry, I'm I'm about to leave my family, but that's not I said, I said, good thing the policies was paid up. Bye. I said she got enough in her to she ain't got she shouldn't have to work for at least the next six, seven years.
SPEAKER_01:Wow. Bye, Duelle.
SPEAKER_06:Lord Jesus. I said, this is it.
SPEAKER_01:Goodbye.
SPEAKER_06:The upper room.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, here's one. I already know what you're gonna say, but okay, here we go. When I initiate physical intimacy, is that king treatment or bare minimum? It should be bare minimum.
SPEAKER_06:It should be.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. Okay. You can't elaborate. Okay. You're gonna sit, you're gonna sit here and look at me silly.
SPEAKER_06:You are I I've kind of realized that you are just terrible at initiating intimacy.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_06:This is this is how you initiate intimacy.
SPEAKER_01:Close the door.
SPEAKER_06:Go put your daughter out.
SPEAKER_01:I think it goes without saying. But the fact that you already know those in my cues, I don't see what's what's the problem. You never complain before. I mean, you enjoy the activity that partakes after you close the door and lock it.
SPEAKER_06:And you haven't complained about it. I want to walk in the room, you close the door and jump my bones.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_06:I'm trying to get my bones jumped.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, I'll do that. When we finish, when we finish this, uh-huh, and then I make sure that she's nice and busy. When you, I'm gonna let you walk in the room first, uh-huh, and then I'm gonna walk in the room by you. Okay. And I'm gonna close the door, I'm gonna lock it, and I'm gonna jump your bones.
SPEAKER_06:Okay. That's what you want. I'm gonna be asleep right after that.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. I got you.
SPEAKER_06:I'm gonna do one, I'm gonna do one of your moves. I'm gonna go ahead and put my eye mask down.
SPEAKER_01:Did you get your eye mask back from your sister? Yeah, but I didn't put it up. I think it's on the staircase.
SPEAKER_06:I gotta wash it.
SPEAKER_01:Um, let's see. When I flirt with you, like we're dating.
SPEAKER_06:That's bare minimum. You should do it every day. You should do it every day. Because I'll flirt with you every second of the day.
SPEAKER_01:Not every second of the day. Cut it out. Don't touch me.
SPEAKER_06:Um don't touch me. It's crazy words.
SPEAKER_01:When I hold your hand in public, bare minimum team treatment.
SPEAKER_06:It don't matter to me.
SPEAKER_01:It's it really does because when you try to reach for my hand, and then if I don't know you're reaching for my hand, you're like, oh, you're embarrassed.
SPEAKER_06:No, no, no, no, no. That's rejection. I don't like being rejected. First of all, I don't reject you. Cut it out. I don't like being rejected. Okay. Um what I don't like doing, uh I mean, it don't I mean I like holding your hand because I, you know, I'm a uh I'm touchy-filly with you, so but it doesn't really matter to me.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. Um, sorry, I got a text message in the middle. Um when I surprise you with a romantic evening, is that bare minimum or king treatment? It has happened. Oh, I got it. When I put the little lavender teddy on for you.
SPEAKER_06:Oh, that was that was the right thing.
SPEAKER_01:And I had everything all nice.
SPEAKER_06:That was the right thing.
SPEAKER_01:That was it was a romantic evening.
SPEAKER_06:Cleaned up and put a nice one.
SPEAKER_01:Really? Really? Yeah, I guess I. Okay, you want to be funny?
SPEAKER_06:I guess that's yeah, don't go ahead and say that.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, go ahead and be funny. You'll never see that nighty again. You'll be funny. Go ahead and be funny. Um, let's see.
SPEAKER_06:I still didn't answer, but oh, go ahead.
SPEAKER_01:Answer.
SPEAKER_06:I'm gonna say bare minimum.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. Um, when I put effort into my own appearance for you.
SPEAKER_06:A bare motherfucking minimum. Because sometimes, look here, I'll be giving you a pass. I said, I she mobbed hard today. Bye. Like if I when I come home and I walk into that uh that aroma of intoxicated uh slash uh check on her because she might be dead, mix of chemicals from cleaning all day. When the bl when you when you walk into the spell of bleach, awesome and comet at the same time. Let me make sure she alive. I I'm not expecting her to look good at all. I'm expecting it to be in some either some some pajama pants or some or some or some leggings with a bleach stained shirt.
SPEAKER_01:I was gonna say my pajama pants or my sweater with the bleach stain on it.
SPEAKER_06:It just makes you in face, she gonna she's gonna look exhausted. I'm like, you know what? She gonna pass today. Because she worked hard.
SPEAKER_01:Well, because you came home to a clean home. But I will say that you look you know presentable nine 90% of the time. I appreciate that. Thanks. You know, I appreciate that.
SPEAKER_06:Except for when you drool, but that's hilarious. Actually, you look hilarious in the gym. You're your facial expression. That's your facial expressions.
SPEAKER_01:I'm like, she's moving the whole house with when it's only like 99 pounds on my pull down. I'm like, but when I get to like rep 10, I'll be like struggling. I'm like, damn, it's only 99 pounds. Sounds heavy.
SPEAKER_06:Shout out to our trainer, Joseph, because he sent me a screenshot of your face.
SPEAKER_01:Did he send you that damn screenshot? Oh, wow. Okay, okay. He texted me. He took a screenshot, so like we have to send in our our recordings of our workouts, right? And so my trainer, shut up. He had took a screenshot. Why? He sent a screenshot of me in my last set on my uh my ad workout, and I had this space, like I was just like done and I was over it. And he goes, he texts me and he's like, Can you just explain to me what was happening at this particular time before I send it to your husband to make a new sticker? And I was like, Don't you dare send that to him because he's gonna make it a sticker, he's gonna send it to the family group. Like, don't do that.
SPEAKER_06:It's gonna be a sticker. We we we uh we've already we're colluding to um start to make stickers of your gym faces. That's rude. This was my favorite one, though.
SPEAKER_01:That's rude. That's rude. And you know what's funny is like when I sent that video, I was like, when I was editing it, I said I should just cut out the very last part because I thought he was gonna say something about me hopping off of the machine. Oh, because I have to hop off the machine. And I was like, I should just cut that part.
SPEAKER_06:So I know people, this has nothing to do with the episode. So we found out a couple weeks ago that my wife is too short for the standing calf machine.
SPEAKER_01:That's not funny, Damel. It's not funny. They should just they should it should have had one more lever that goes down. It needs one more lever to go down.
SPEAKER_05:Like styrofoam shoulder to use the machine.
SPEAKER_01:I'm happy that he gets so much joy out of my shortcomings. Shortcomings? And it's funny that you say oopaloopah, because you know he sent me a gif of the oopa loopas. I was like, wow, thank you for being my motor. You're supposed to be like motivating me and making me feel better. And you're doing the opposite, which is crazy work. I love you. Go ahead, continue on.
SPEAKER_06:This is great. I'm having fun now.
SPEAKER_01:When I send you um spicy text messages, bare minimum.
SPEAKER_06:I knew you would say that. I mean, you I gotta get the motor going some kind of way. You don't need much.
SPEAKER_01:Um, when I give you kisses before I leave the house.
SPEAKER_06:When do you leave the house before I do? Is the question.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, in the rare occasions it happens. I mean, that's fine. I mean, you don't have to. Is it bare minimum or king treatment?
SPEAKER_06:That's bare minimum. You should say goodbye. At least say goodbye.
SPEAKER_01:Never king. Okay, let's let's get into these ones.
SPEAKER_06:Oh Lord. Here we go.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. When I listen without interrupting you.
SPEAKER_06:You never do that.
SPEAKER_01:That never happens. Is that would you consider that to be king treatment or bare minimum?
SPEAKER_06:Because you never not interrupt.
SPEAKER_01:That's not true. It's not.
SPEAKER_06:That's why you're laughing, because you know it's not true.
SPEAKER_01:It's not true. Yeah, it's not true. That's why I'm laughing.
SPEAKER_06:If it's not true that it's not true, that's what I mean.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, bye. Um, let's see. When I believe in your business ideas, I don't have any business ideas.
SPEAKER_06:Well, I did want to do a uh uh you do believe my business.
SPEAKER_01:I was gonna say we literally just had a discussion on a business, and I totally believed in it. And I even told you how we could go about getting it going.
SPEAKER_06:I could that's bare minimal. Bare minimal. I mean, as using partners.
SPEAKER_01:You said you should believe in me.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, you should believe in me. I mean, if you don't believe in me, why are you here?
SPEAKER_01:Same for the people in the back.
SPEAKER_05:Why why if you don't believe, why are you here?
SPEAKER_01:I think we got bigger problems. Right. If you don't believe in me, um, when I defend you in public or around family, can you treat me the bare minimum? Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:Because I defend you everywhere. I don't give a damn. You know, I would set the world on fire for you.
SPEAKER_01:Um world?
SPEAKER_06:Beware. As hunter. Beware. As hunter. People know I don't play about my wife.
SPEAKER_01:When I give you words of affirmation.
SPEAKER_06:That's bare minimum. You should do it more often.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:Umce a year.
SPEAKER_01:When I comfort you. You comfort me? When I comfort you when you're stressed. Bare minimum king treatment.
SPEAKER_06:I don't know how to answer that because I don't think I I I allow you to comfort me a lot of times.
SPEAKER_01:A lot of times I just you try to be a hermit as much as possible.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, I isolation is my go-to.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, you try.
SPEAKER_06:I find my hide hole and I go into hibernation. Just a big old polar bear in there just hibernating.
SPEAKER_01:Um, when I take the lead on family scheduling so that you don't have to.
SPEAKER_06:I mean, at this point it's very minimal because I don't do it at all. Look here. That's why every time somebody asks me, what y'all doing, talk to my wife.
SPEAKER_01:And I just added something else to the family schedule, too. Hopefully. Because if it ain't on the calendar, I don't know what's going on. I just added two Friendsgivings, so you might want to take a look at that.
SPEAKER_06:Hold up now. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Babe, I told you you can use my, you can use me as a reason not to go.
SPEAKER_01:Oh no.
SPEAKER_06:Not to go.
SPEAKER_01:How else will everybody taste the delicious Cleo and Leo chicken that I bring and pass off as my own if I don't get to crack?
SPEAKER_05:Crazy work.
SPEAKER_01:When she texted me the date, I told her she was like, tell me what dish you're gonna bring. And I was like, Well, the chicken, my chicken was a hit last year, so I think I would bring the chicken. And she was like, I could have sworn you brought your great mac and cheese. And I was like, it was probably both, but hint, hint, I caught your hint. I will bring mac and cheese as well. I was like, but remember the chicken? Because I took all the chicken and I emptied it out in the pan, like I had just fried it myself, and then I put the foil on it, and that chicken went quick. And everybody was like, Oh my gosh, who brought the chicken? Who brought the chicken? I was like, I made it. I brought the chicken.
SPEAKER_03:I brought the chicken, don't worry about it.
SPEAKER_01:Um, when I show you gratitude for things that you provide.
SPEAKER_06:That's bare minimum. You should be grateful. You should be grateful. I'm grateful for you.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, okay. What? You should be grateful. I didn't say I wasn't grateful. It's just the way you said it.
SPEAKER_06:You should be grateful. Like, you should be grateful. You should. A lot of times you're not.
SPEAKER_01:I'm helping you to become a better man. Okay. My job is to put you in situations where you have no choice but to do better and be better. So whenever you're feeling that way, it's because you know your wife is putting the pressure on you to be a better man, to do more, be better. I got you got it. Okay. Because we just discussed, I believe in who? You. That's right. I believe in you. I believe in you. Okay, let's see. Um when I include you in my plans, don't. Dismiss me with it all together.
SPEAKER_06:Only include me in your plans if we're going out with the jewels. Okay. Okay. I miss the jewels.
SPEAKER_01:I miss her too. Well, we're hanging out on Friday when the girls have their mid-sleepover. This Friday? No, that's not this Friday. That's the 20 that's this Friday.
SPEAKER_06:Okay. So I guess we're not. We're just not going to the bunker badge.
SPEAKER_01:No, we are. They can't, they don't have to be there until 9. Sorry. We got we just literally got off track. Sorry. We'll talk about this later. Um, you made me lose which one I was uh gonna ask you. Oh, when I trust your judgment. Is that bare minimum or something?
SPEAKER_03:Wow. Why? Because I am all-knowing. That's true. I'm just playing.
SPEAKER_06:No, I mean, because I mean you clearly saw something in me that I was trustworthy, so you should trust my judgment. Like when I told you don't buy that car.
SPEAKER_01:What car?
SPEAKER_06:Cherry.
SPEAKER_01:No. Cherry was good though.
SPEAKER_06:But I told you don't buy cherry because you didn't get tired of driving her. I mean, but the second it wasn't.
SPEAKER_01:I did. I did, but I got a great deal on her. And she was really cute.
SPEAKER_06:You know, like she was a prostitute. I got a great deal on her.
SPEAKER_01:She had a great deal on her. She was really cool. She was amazing on gas.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, that was that she was.
SPEAKER_01:Like back in the day where I could put$25 in my tank.
SPEAKER_06:What's that like? That gives you what two days now? Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01:Two days? That will get me dropping her off at school for two days. And that's about it. Um, when I look at you with admiration.
SPEAKER_06:Do you?
SPEAKER_01:When you don't piss me off, I do.
SPEAKER_06:Now you do it in the gym. No, that's nah, you look at me with but uh disdain. With predator eyes.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, like the other day?
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Because when you were working, like your triceps looked really, they looked really good. And that was like, I was having a moment. Okay. So I had to record you. And then you turned around and flipped me off.
SPEAKER_06:That was rude. It wasn't rude. Because you're not supposed to record people in the gym. And I report you to the gym.
SPEAKER_01:You're not people. You belong to me. I have papers on you. Okay.
SPEAKER_06:I didn't sign them.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, you did. When I help you with a project or a goal, is that bare minimum?
SPEAKER_06:Bare minimum.
SPEAKER_01:I don't think so. I think that's king treatment. Why is that bare minimum? Because you're supposed to be my helpmate. Gotcha. You're supposed to be a good project leader to be able to do it yourself. Oh wow. The project leader dictates who does work in the book. Yeah, but they have to do it to show you.
SPEAKER_06:Okay, here we go.
SPEAKER_01:Um, let's see. When I remind you that you are a great husband and father.
SPEAKER_06:When you do that.
SPEAKER_01:Would that be king treatment or bare minimum? I don't.
SPEAKER_06:I'm asking. I don't?
SPEAKER_01:Do you? I'm asking you. You're the one on the receiving end of it.
SPEAKER_06:Wow. Pause. Uh bare minimum.
SPEAKER_01:No pause. You said you were gonna stop doing that because you said you were grown.
SPEAKER_06:I did. Bare minimum. Whoa. Whoa.
SPEAKER_01:When I check in on your mental health, bare minimum, king treatment.
SPEAKER_06:That's king treatment because you don't do it.
SPEAKER_01:Wow. Really? Really? That's why you're sitting there with that big ass laugh on your face.
SPEAKER_06:It's funny how you checking in on my mental health when you're the reason for why it's going down.
SPEAKER_01:Wait a minute. Okay, wait. Crazy works. I just saw this video and she had texted her husband. She texted her husband. What did she say? She was like, What picture do you look at when you're missing me? And he was like, I just look at my uh bank account balance and that makes me not miss you.
SPEAKER_06:Right. Right.
SPEAKER_01:He said, So I don't really have one.
SPEAKER_06:I was telling, I was telling somebody, I I think, oh, I think I was telling Hunter, our friend Hunter, I said, I said, the second I tell her to tell her my check at the account, I said, three minutes later, she done swiped somewhere.
SPEAKER_02:My child support? I said, she don't even let it get hot. I mean, she don't let the check get cold.
SPEAKER_01:You all, but I don't understand. Like, I spend throughout the week even before your paycheck. It's just that when you get paid, you're always like, oh, you just had to go by. I I bought stuff before you got paid. I gotta get in there before you pay the bills.
SPEAKER_06:You can you could you could legit be at home fixing you something to eat and I call it, hey, the check's there.
SPEAKER_01:I'm going to Chipotle. I'm going to Chipotle. But that's because I probably went to Chipotle the day before, too.
SPEAKER_06:And then you got points.
SPEAKER_01:And I got points, so I can eat it even cheaper today.
SPEAKER_06:She's gonna be she's gonna be mad, y'all, when I block her card.
SPEAKER_01:Uh if you boy, you'll be really mad having to sleep in your car.
SPEAKER_06:I wouldn't.
SPEAKER_01:Really mad. Um, okay, let's do two more. Um, let's see. When I compliment your scent.
SPEAKER_06:Like you think I smell good? That's that's keen treatment because I don't always smell good.
SPEAKER_01:You don't. Like this morning when you tried to come in the house after the gym and give me a kiss. I came from the gym. I was like, sir, if you do not get them pissed, pick some balls away from me.
SPEAKER_06:I'm not gonna act like I walk around here stinky, okay? I came from the gym. I put I was in there putting in work, which you don't know about. I was putting in work.
SPEAKER_01:Crazy work coming from somebody who does like 135 on rows. On what kind of roll? I was waiting for the face drop.
SPEAKER_06:What kind of role are you talking about?
unknown:You know what?
SPEAKER_01:Just because you're lifting the heavyweight to do the role don't mean you're doing it effectively.
SPEAKER_03:My format's immaculate. It's something. Immaculate it's not. Okay, you know what? This has been the last episode.
SPEAKER_01:When I run errands for you, king treatment or bare minimum? I knew you were gonna say that you're such an asshole.
SPEAKER_06:In our current dynamic, bare minimum. Now, when we were both working, that was king treatment. But now that you got go ahead, go ahead and say it.
SPEAKER_01:Time. Okay. Okay. Ha. No brown sugar for you. Time. I'm not jumping your bones, by the way.
SPEAKER_06:That's fine. Please don't jump. They probably couldn't take it right now. I'm still sore. I don't know why. Okay, you know what?
SPEAKER_05:Are you done?
SPEAKER_01:Are you done? Oh, this is the kind of fun you get to have after 23 years. So exciting! This is the kind of fun you get to have. What?
SPEAKER_02:You shouldn't have been talking shit.
SPEAKER_01:What, babe? Are you done? Are you done?
SPEAKER_06:I'm done.
SPEAKER_01:You done?
SPEAKER_06:I have nothing else to give. I have nothing. I literally have nothing else to give.
SPEAKER_00:You have nothing? I have nothing. Nothing. Nothing. I don't wanna.
SPEAKER_05:Are you done? You're such an asshole.
SPEAKER_01:We're just gonna hop right on into it. To the comment of the week.
SPEAKER_06:God damn. The comment of the week. The coming of the week is. And that's not really a comment as far. We're gonna address these.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's just a question we keep getting.
SPEAKER_06:People, we are married in Rome.
SPEAKER_01:In real life. He's really my husband legally.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Like legally.
SPEAKER_06:Like legally. Like I signed papers.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. We've noticed we've been getting that in our comments on our videos. Um, some people are like, are y'all married in real life? And then somebody was like, What did the other person say?
SPEAKER_02:I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:What'd they say? Y'all married in real life? Or do they seem like they're married? Or the DM one? Is that really your wife? Yeah. Yes. Yes.
SPEAKER_06:No, is that really your husband? Oh, yeah. Is that really your husband? She thought he was DMing you. That's crazy.
SPEAKER_01:Is that really your husband? He is really my husband. Y'all motherfuckers, hold on.
SPEAKER_06:Y'all motherfuckers be bold, DMing my wife into the podcast. It's not even her personal page. And the fact is that she's been tagged in a lot of shit and y'all still will DM the podcast page. Like I wouldn't see it.
SPEAKER_01:I don't think they mean anything by it.
SPEAKER_06:They're trying to get some kootie cat.
SPEAKER_01:Brown sugar.
SPEAKER_06:That was some kootie cat.
SPEAKER_01:Please don't say it like that.
SPEAKER_06:That's weird. That's weird. Cootie cat out here hanging with these skeezers.
SPEAKER_01:Skeezers? But yes. So just to address the comment that we got multiple times, we are married in real life.
SPEAKER_03:Barely. Barely.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, but we are many people like home it down.
SPEAKER_00:Rest in peace. I know she be. I told you.
SPEAKER_05:That's my dog.
SPEAKER_01:It was not. Okay. Let's hop into our two cents. Because I need your I need your uh reaction and opinion on some of these, okay? All right.
SPEAKER_03:I'll be right back. I'm raw dogging these guys.
SPEAKER_01:Um, am I the asshole because I don't want my boyfriend to move in and only pay, quote unquote, what the bills go up to?
SPEAKER_03:Do you understand that? Oh, yeah, I got it. Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Um, I'm asking because I had a couple of friends say that I was being unreasonable, wondering about my financial situation where all his money is going, and I don't think that I am. So I just need a more unbiased opinion. I'm a 39-year-old female and I have been dating my boyfriend who's 36 for five months. Things have been going great. We just don't see each other that often, maybe like once a week currently. Because it is hard to coordinate time with four kids, two of mine, 10-year-old female and eight-year-old female, and two his, a three-year-old female and a two-year-old female. Wow, you guys got little babies.
SPEAKER_06:No, he got.
SPEAKER_01:He got, yeah. I've worked very hard since my separation and eventual divorce. And I have owned my own home for four and a half years while he still lives at home with his mother after two years. Not that I fault him because I understand that renting or buying a house right now in an insane market. About a week ago, we were laying in bed and he said that he sees us lasting while he would be uh while while he would like to cons while he would like for me to consider him and his girls moving in. He says that he cannot offer much, but he can at least cover the bills for what they would go up to. So I wouldn't, so it wouldn't cost me anything for them to live in. So he's just saying he can just pay the difference and the bills going up. I didn't say anything in the moment, just asked when he was thinking what time he was thinking for the time frame. And I got a response of soon as possible. My house is small, it's only 900 square feet, but I feel like it is an unreasonable to offer what bills would go up, which would be a max of like$150 a month. Now I understand that maybe he can't cover half the bills, even though I bought the house when I made$18 an hour and he currently makes$22 an hour. I think at the very minimum we need to sit down and consider, we need to sit down and have a deep dive into each other's finances before I should consider letting him move in with his kids. Not to mention that it has only been five months of us dating. I've talked to a few people and the majority seem to side with me. But now I'm paranoid about the couple that don't, that I'm now somehow being unreasonable in the whole situation. He's also asked to move in after I went to see my financial advisor. And I was kind enough to say, uh, like discuss her finances, saying what her financial position was and what it was going to be when she retired, and that it's going to be really good and I'm going to be in a great position. And I currently have uh, and he currently has zero retirement. So it feels like he saw this as a good financial place for him to be in. Um, and he saw the good financial place that I'm going to be in, and that is his retirement plan. And whether it's wrong or not, I value my children's opinion and they're not ready to have him over either. The whole situation kind of feels like a red flag. But whether I'm a pessimist or a realist, it feels like I'm gonna end up with a freeloader. Any suggestions?
SPEAKER_06:The matador can't waive the flag, the red flag big enough for this motherfucker.
SPEAKER_01:You already called it. She already called it. How dumb do you have to be? And he said, soon. When are you when were you thinking about moving too?
SPEAKER_06:His mama is kicking him out. Hold on. You 20, he's 36 with two kids living at home with his mama. He ain't shit. For the past two years. He ain't shit now.
SPEAKER_01:By Damel.
SPEAKER_06:He wasn't shit when he got whoever his uh kid's mother's pregnant. He wasn't shit then. And now his mama probably tying his ass too. And now she does.
SPEAKER_02:And now he's looking, now he's looking for somebody else to leech on. Man, what are you thinking? Do not let this man in your house.
SPEAKER_01:That's what I said. I said, girl, don't let him in your house. Five months in, no retirement plan,$22 an hour, and been living with his mom for$20. He's been the sweetest motherfucker you know because he needs somewhere to stay. He needs you, yeah. And then like you. And then, like, she said after she was uh kind enough to talk to him about her financial like situation, that he has no retirement.
SPEAKER_06:No retirement is wild. Bye. You're 36, my dude. You got 20 years left to figure this shit out.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, if it do well, you don't know if his job offers it or not.
SPEAKER_06:He's 36 with two kids. Two under five. Two under five. He ain't got time to save on$22 an hour with two under five.
SPEAKER_01:That's why that's probably that's why he has no retirement.
SPEAKER_06:Look here.
SPEAKER_01:He can't save.
SPEAKER_06:Cut your losses. I'm finna sound like all the women that be in our comments. Girl, leave his ass. Bye. That that come on. That's ridiculous. Y'all can't have that much in common.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, if he's lacking in that area, he's probably pretty stupid. Well, I mean, hey. In another.
SPEAKER_06:Keep him in that role. Don't let him in your house. And your kids, and your girls. Yeah, they said they don't want to want around. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So that's that's the end of the story there. Yeah, that's the end of the story there. No, let that mother. Okay.
SPEAKER_06:Sorry ass nigga.
SPEAKER_01:Am I the asshole because I won't tell my wife what my son slash her stepson has in his savings from my late wife?
SPEAKER_04:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:My wife, 40, and I, 40, have a blended family. I have a 16-year-old son with my late wife. My wife has a 13-year-old daughter and a 12-year-old son with her ex-husband, and they share custody. And we have a four and a two-year-old together.
SPEAKER_07:It's a lot of kids.
SPEAKER_01:When my late wife was sick, she told me that she wanted a percentage of her compensation she was issued for her medical misdiagnosis to go to our son's savings. She also had a second savings account she wanted to add to it. This was on top of what the two of us had already saved for him before her illness. I honored her wishes and I continued saving for our son's future. This is a promise I made to my late wife that I have stood by. I also promised that I would protect it and make sure it was only and ever for him and no one else. When my present wife and I seriously dated, we talked about the saving, what savings would look like for our kids if and when we got married. She knew I had always saved as I had with my late wife. We didn't discuss how much either of us had saved for our existing kids, but we agreed to an amount every month that would be saved for all three. And this was talked about again when we had our children together. Recently, there has been a lot of stress on my wife. Her ex has refused to discuss my stepkid's savings and if he pays anything or not. She also feels like we haven't been able to save enough every month, like I promised, or like promised, because it was just one thing after another. There are months we've missed because of things beyond our control, like stuff mostly things breaking, things for the house, et cetera. A few weeks ago, my wife told me that we should put all the cards on the table and discuss what all five kids have and decide how we process and proceed with making sure everyone gets what they need for their future. I told her that I would be happy to discuss what I have saved for my oldest, but I will not be discussing the money left by his mom. She pushed back on it and said all the money should be taken into consideration. I told her we do not know what all the money is. I said our parents could be saving money for the kids. Um, her ex had might have money for the stepkids. His parents could have money for the stepkids. We can't say for certain what everyone will have at the end of all this. And it's only fair to discuss what she and I have and what we have saved. She told me it sounds like that I don't trust her. I responded by asking why she wants to know so badly. By only talking about what we have saved, we're on an even footing. She told me if I knew everything, then we could focus on the kids who have less from the kids who have more. That our younger two are probably going to be the worst off long term, and that she would be open to combining everyone's money and dividing it evenly. I told her that I was not on board with that and that what my son has from his mom is not going to be shared or used in any of the other kids' savings. We argued about it, but I refuse to say otherwise. She feels like that's wrong when we're married. I told her it's not my money, nor is it her money or money that we could or should be assessing. It's from my late wife to our son, and that's all there is to it. My wife said that she feels like I'm keeping her in the dark and not trusting her with something important. She said it cuts her ability to fully engage in conversations we need to be able to have and decisions we need to make as a couple. Am I the asshole? No.
SPEAKER_06:No, you're not. And she's not in the dark. Because what she wanna know, it ain't her goddamn business.
SPEAKER_01:It's none of her business.
SPEAKER_02:That's that's that's what his mama left for him.
SPEAKER_01:Yep. And he made, and he, he's standing by the promise that he made to his late wife. Just like if you if you swear him to a promise for you guys as children, he's gonna, he's gonna stand by that.
SPEAKER_06:Again, like I said last week, your ass only here because she's not there no more. So you should be thanking her that you got a good man now because had she not uh passed on, you wouldn't be here. You wouldn't even be here in the first place. Yeah, right. And I know her thinking is he his oldest son probably has she probably feels like she probably knows he has quite a lot of people. She probably feels like he has enough and he's gonna have way more than his younger has been.
SPEAKER_01:And he is, naturally, because he's the oldest.
SPEAKER_06:Right? Naturally, so but here's but but who's the here's here here's the fuck like that. Who's to say that he won't help his younger siblings?
SPEAKER_01:If they need help when they become of age, correct.
SPEAKER_06:You know what I'm saying? But for you to think that you're finna stick your hand in his cookie jar.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:And and and think it's fair to make everybody. That his mama left him, bitch, enjoy.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, no, that's not, that's because that was left, that was left for, like, literally for him. That was from your that was from his his his previous marriage. Like, like you said, this none of this would be happening had she not felt ill and passed on. Like none of this would be happening, right? Right. So for you as the new wife to be like, oh yeah, forget what your your last wife made you promise or whatever deal you guys are she's not here now, and he needs to come up off some of that money to make sure our kids that we had together are taken care of. But it sounds like he has been putting in the savings, but she's concerned because her ex-husband hasn't been holding up his end of the bargain financially. And now you want to come over here and dip into my son's because your ex- No, that's not how that works.
SPEAKER_06:And see now, me as a board member of the of the petty committee. Oh, bye Maurice. I would now get petty and say, you know, those two stepkids of mine, I'm no longer gonna contribute to their savings either.
SPEAKER_01:I'm only contributing to our shares.
SPEAKER_06:I'm only gonna contribute to my children's savings. So now that you're stressed out, that's ridiculous.
SPEAKER_01:That's too much.
SPEAKER_06:That's a little bit more. Is it too much? That's a little much. But let's be petty. Either you leave my son alone or I'm gonna leave your children.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, he made it very clear. He was firm. He told her, I'm not gonna discuss it anymore because it has nothing to do with you. He he basically said his money has nothing to do with you, me, and anybody else. That's his money. It's his money.
SPEAKER_06:That's his money that his mama left him. That's his money. That his mama left him.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:Get over it.
SPEAKER_01:That's like saying she left him a house and a new wife is like, nah, we need to sell that to pay some bills. That's his house. That's his house. You can't do that. This is why I love people. Anyway, this has been another episode of the Life After I Do podcast. If you're not doing so already, join the family by following us on all of our social media platforms at Life After I Do Podcast on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, um, YouTube. You can also write into the podcast at um lifeafterdupodcast at gmail.com. Thank you to those who have submitted stories for us to read. Um, we will be reading them like throughout throughout the weeks for the hour two cent episodes. So we really appreciate the interaction, guys. We appreciate the love and support. And until next week. Peace booskies. Peace booskies.
