Life After I Do Podcast
Marriage and relationships can be tough. You may feel like you’re the only one struggling but you’re not. Life After I do is a weekly podcast where Morice and Kynesha, a black married millennial couple, share their experiences and advice on everything from kids and family to intimacy and connection. Noting is off limits.
In their 24 years together and 10 years of marriage, Morice and Kynesha have learned a lot about what it takes to make a relationship work. They know the importance of communication, trust and commitment. They also know it’s okay to not have it all figured out.
Join them every Wednesday as they talk about their own journey of “Life After I do”.
Life After I Do Podcast
Right Time Right Marriage
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Is there really a perfect time to say “I do”? In this episode, we explore the pros and cons of marrying young versus later in life, from divorce stats to financial readiness, health benefits, and gender differences. Plus, we dive into real-life dilemmas on respect and boundaries that every couple can learn from.
Thanks for rocking with us! Don’t forget to follow Life After I Do so you never miss an episode. Got a relationship situation you want us to weigh in on? Hit us at https://linktr.ee/lifeafteridopodcast — we just might talk about it in a future episode.
Discussing Family Dynamics and Expenses
Speaker 1where you are earning the minimum.
Speaker 2I could cut my income in half and live by myself, perfectly fine, exactly so. What I'm trying to express to you right now is the added expense of you and my child that has caused me to earn and to attempt to earn more, that's what it is.
Speaker 1Hey, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Life After I Do Podcast, are you?
Speaker 2practicing that one this week. I'm going to make you a shirt that says Are you?
Speaker 1Yeah, I don't know when I'm going to get around to it, but the idea is nice. I just saw that just reminded me. I saw this shirt in one of my crafting groups and her daughter is like she's been dealing with a lot of fatigue and so she made her daughter this sweatshirt. And it says at the top it says I know. And then it has like the checkboxes and it says at the top it says um, I I know. And then it has like the check boxes and it says my labs are normal.
Speaker 2Um, it might be anxiety like, so you need that shirt.
Speaker 1I need that shirt. I took a screenshot of it because those are all. Those are all all of the things that they tell you. It could be anxiety. Your lab, your lab work, came back normal there's definitely anxiety for me so, uh, I don't claim that.
Speaker 2I don't claim that hey, muskies, hi, how you doing? I got hot off of something. I mean you are hot. Thank you, paul, I'm married. Um, my gosh, I'm married. Stop coming. Look, I wear the ring. I was, I think. I think the free workout's still working.
Speaker 1Or the light? Were you taking thermogenics? Yeah, yeah, that's dumb, that's really dumb.
Speaker 2How was your week Like why do?
Speaker 1you want your Like, I can.
Speaker 2How was your week? No, we're talking.
Speaker 1I know I can try to get around, like the concept of it, but like I mean, you're going to warm up when you start working out. Okay, babe, how was your week? My week was fine. I'm about to go get a napkin right now.
Speaker 2I'm sweating, oh my gosh, I'm going to pop them out.
Speaker 1I was like well, I can see it starting to come through. You were perfectly fine before. Maybe it's the lights Hold on, just keep talking. I'll be right back um. So let's see my week. I had a really good week. Um, my nephew did move in this weekend, which was really, really great. It was a move-in week for my nephew. Um, what's? What's their mascot? Cats, or?
Speaker 2what is their mascot? Who cares?
Speaker 1it's you, it's uc irvine. I completely forgot who their mascot is, but yeah, so. Anyway, it was move-in week, so we got to help him move into his dorm, go buy things that he needed, go have lunch as a family, just hung out as a family that was really nice and special.
Speaker 2That's all you wanted to do. Huh, you just wanted to go to lunch, eat and eat as a family.
Speaker 1Oh, of course, Family is everything.
Speaker 2Is it here's?
Speaker 1the thing. It's funny that you bring it up that way. Ok, I think I think the older I get, especially now because, like we have, because, we have a child.
Speaker 1And when I see how like many aunts I have left, how many uncles I have left like the age of my parents and like her cousins and stuff like that, it just makes you like really realize like family is important, you know even even if your family is not super tight knit, even if you feel like you don't have that village style family, like having family and when you do get the opportunity to be with family and when we have the opportunity where she can be with the family, that's that's extremely important. Like when I see how excited she gets when she's around her cousins, that just fills my heart. Like it fills my heart when she's like, instead of asking to go play at a friend's house, she's like I miss my cousins. Like can we go visit my cousins.
Speaker 2She don't know them like I know them.
Speaker 1Marie, stop it, just stop. So, yeah, but no, it is really important, and especially for us because we only have one child, right? So, as she gets older, I think about, even just like my side of the family, like my, her great aunts she's not. She's not going to know her great aunts, she's not going to know her great uncles. You know what I mean, and that's on both sides. Exactly that's what.
Speaker 2I'm saying and that's on both sides. Exactly that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1But I mean she was fighting, losing battle with me anyway, because my mom is, my mom is the baby.
Speaker 2Yeah, my mom is the baby too, and my mom's the baby third. My uh, my mom's uh. Next youngest sister's third was 13, was 13 when my mom was born right we were fighting, losing that we're both.
Speaker 1We're both in the same predicament like but she has.
Speaker 2She has her TTs and her uncles.
Speaker 1Yeah, she does, and that's why her cousins and everything is really important, because I also want her to grow up to feel like I do have family obviously she also has her funcle.
Speaker 1Yes, yes, she does have her funcle, yep, yep, and her TT jazz. So I know that she has people, you know. But I'm just saying I get back to what I was saying. Especially now, as I'm getting older in life, it's like it's just, it's just more solidified for me of how important family is and how much of a blessing and like a treat it is to be with family when you can be, especially when everything is super uncertain, right, we've had situations where you spend time with somebody and literally not knowing that's the last time you spend with them.
Speaker 1you know, like, oh gosh, I don't even know why that came up, but I think about, like my granny and I if I would have known that that was the last time I would see her.
Speaker 1You know, like we never know come to the house or we go out there. Whatever the case is, it's like I feel like now, as an adult, and because we've experienced loss so much, that it's it's it plays on my mind. You know what I mean. Like we can be in a moment where we're all sharing each other's company and having a good time and we're laughing and we're talking, and you know, and just being and being present in the moment and being excited for whatever reason brought us together, and then you not know that when you wake up the next day, you get a phone call Like that's how quick it is, you know. So that's why I say like when you, when you like, make fun, like you just wanted to go to lunch, like, yes, but sitting at that table and having my nephew there, having my mom there, my great niece, my sister, you, our daughter, and the reason why we were brought together like that, was that what? That felt great for me. That was exciting for me.
Speaker 2You know everything about your state was fun except for the traffic. Well, yeah, it was. You was on your phone, so how you know about?
Speaker 1it. I was still in traffic, um I didn't expect to cry, but yeah, so anyway.
Speaker 2I feel like the older you get, the more emotion you get.
Speaker 1That is also true, that is also true.
Speaker 2That's a fact.
Speaker 1And I think listen, it comes with getting older in life, and I think it's also, too, because your perspectives about things start to change.
Speaker 2Especially when you realize you only 35 summers left by Demel.
Speaker 1I don't know how many summers I have left and I'm definitely not going to put a number on it so.
Speaker 1But you just become more self-aware and I think it's just like my emotional barometer and brain trying to realign things that are like that are genuinely important and other things that are just what I thought was important and what I thought what I should be focusing on in life is really, at the end of the day, it doesn't serve a lot of purpose for me to be stressed over, for me to harp on, for me Like that's why I told you like when I feel like I've been saying like a lot, but like I had told you um me compartmentalizing things, it's like in my brain I'm putting things into little boxes as to this is important and it deserves my attention, my focus, my emotional um, energy, everything, and then it just starts working its way down Right.
Speaker 1So if it's not, if it's something that's becoming detrimental to like my daily schedule that helps me in a positive way so that I can maintain a certain energy level to get through the day, to take care of my house, to take care of you, to take care of our daughter and anything that interrupts that, it's like you got to go lower on the list because now you're impeding. You know what I'm saying? It's just the older that I'm getting, my brain is starting to be like okay, girl, we got to start fishing out all the things that we thought were of high priority in the people that we thought were of high priority.
Family Is Everything: The Importance of Connection
Speaker 1That just don't serve the purpose of what we're trying to get done Like right now to get us to where you say you want to be during that retirement stage. You know, like I know what life I want to live when we go into retirement. I know what type of like relationships I want to have and hold on to. I know the type of relationship I would like to have with my child Like, and right now I feel like I'm in the the nitty gritty of it all, of trying to like fish through all that so that I can get to that point. You know what I'm saying. So I feel like that went off all on a tangent. But, all that to say, I had a great weekend spending time with family.
Speaker 1Um, it was move-in day for my nephew at UC Irvine. Uh, he's a political science major, super, super, super, super proud of him. I couldn't tell him enough how much, how proud of him I was, um, but when we went to the bookstore to buy, like the grandparent of a UC um UC student and the mom, I was a little butthurt they didn't have one for like auntie and uncle and I was like that's really crazy, because I taught him how to read. So the fact that you know they didn't want to honor the aunt is really, it's really crazy, because it all started like the educational journey.
Speaker 1You know what? I'm saying it started with me, but yeah. So I'm proud of him for that, and then my other. My highlight for the week also was hitting. Y'all know it wouldn't be complete if we don't talk about our gym week. I hit 175 pounds on bench the other day and I was.
Speaker 1It took me by surprise and I want to thank you, my, my wonderful supportive husband oh, now I'm supportive who pushed me to do it because I wasn't even going to do it, I was only going to go for the 170. And he's like if you can do 170, then clearly you can do 175. And I was like you know those marshmallow weights they be getting people stuck in a chokehold. So I hit the 175. And then, of course, his way of thinking was well, if you hit 175, then surely you can hit 185. And I was like Damel, like not yet, I really don't, I don't know 185, because by calculations it says my one rep is like 182. And so he was like then you should be able to hit 185. But, mind you, this was after doing like a full set of five at 160.
Speaker 1Yeah, I was very fatigued and and I think I still get caught in my head in the hole when I have the weight and I'm pulling it down, I'm like okay, and then when I feel the weight from the hole, my mind be like you tried it, you so cute, ask for help to get this off. But I'm just, I was really excited, I was really proud of myself because I was like we are within that 200 range once I. Once I that 205, it's going to be a great day.
Speaker 2It's over for you bitches.
Speaker 1It's over for you bitches. So yeah, but other than that it was a great week.
Speaker 2That's good. How was your week? Did we have time? Did we have time for my week?
Speaker 1Yes, how was your week?
Speaker 2My week was not as great as yours, oh my gosh. Okay, uh, I did enjoy. I do enjoy any time I get with my family. Sometimes, even even though the bonus family was there, it was still enjoyable the bonus family, yeah, your inherited family, yeah you know, even though it be rough sometimes, it's really your mother.
Speaker 1Okay, goodbye.
Speaker 2Your mother be she be irritating me sometimes, but you know I love her she's, but she irritate me but I love her. Yeah. So I mean my week overall. I mean just maintaining this is September is always a hard month for me. I struggle. Yeah. On top of that, I got other stuff going on. Yeah, that I'm struggling with. So I'm just trying to lean towards the positive.
Speaker 1Stay above water.
Speaker 2Because the negative is there and, as you have saw, recently I have been eating my feelings and I need to stop. You got to stop that.
Speaker 1I mean eating my feelings, then I need to stop. You got to stop that. I mean I'd be there trying to help and support, but you shit on me and be like, yeah, you'd be like move Otis.
Speaker 2Gotcha. So yeah, I mean it was cool. I mean just work, work and work and work.
Speaker 1Work, work, work, work, work work.
Speaker 2Work, work and more work, More work. Okay, you know.
Speaker 1So there was no highlight of your week? No, not really. You're just not, your brain's not looking for it, because you're letting all the negative take over.
Speaker 2No, I just I just maintained yeah, that's the highlight. I maintained I didn't stoop below, okay.
Speaker 1I mean, the highlight is that you're still here to maintain, so there's that too. Yeah, I mean we can't. We can't take the big things as like what we got today.
Speaker 2I'm not gonna bring it, bring it down.
Speaker 1What we got today you're not bringing it down.
Speaker 2Uh, today is about wait, I forgot to say something what go birds? Okay, go ahead, what we got today. I forgot to say something what Go birds, okay go ahead.
Speaker 1What do we got today? Oh my gosh. Marrying young versus marrying later in life.
Speaker 2What's later in life, 70?
Speaker 1Like mid-30s 40s which is crazy, like later, crazy work that's crazy work, crazy work, crazy work, crazy work, that's crazy work, crazy work, crazy work, crazy work, my word. But yeah, so, before we even get into it, just based off of that, do you think it's more beneficial to marry young or do you think it's more beneficial to marry later in life? And when I say young, excuse me, I'm thinking like 22, between 22 and like 28 I.
Speaker 2I think this is another one of those things where it's on a case-by-case basis of course, but I'm just saying speak in general in general, I would say it's probably more beneficial for you to marry later, and when I say later, I'm talking like late 20s so like early 30s, like 27, to like 32 to 34. That's still considered young though, babe. Yeah, it is to me 32, 34. That's still considered young though, babe? Yeah, it is to me.
Speaker 1Okay, so what's considered later in life for you? Then 40s Okay. So comparison between the 20s versus the 40s I would say the 20s. So you're saying that it's more beneficial to marry younger. Yeah, why do you think that is Because I feel like when you're younger, you're more adaptable.
Speaker 2Okay, in your 40s, how you are is how you are. Yeah, and either you're going to get with it or not. Yeah, and it's a lot harder to change behaviors and baseline activities to accommodate someone else, Right, once you're older. Okay, that's fair. You know they say you can't teach an old dog new tricks and that's the saying on the street a lot of old dogs don't want to learn new tricks.
Speaker 2They want to lay their ass down, okay, and bring you that food, bring them their food so they can lay their ass down okay. I feel like when you're, I feel like later 20s is a good point because by that time you have life experience, you have a, you have you've gone through those late teen, early 20 years of discovering yourself and what you like or what you may be interested in, and now you have an idea of what you want. Your goals are more clear to you. Like in your earlier years, yeah, like once you hit like mid, mid, mid to late 20s, 30s.
Speaker 1I think I can. I can agree with that. Obviously, both sides has its pros and its cons. I think marrying a little bit later in life not necessarily like in the 40s, like you say, but anywhere, I guess, between, like starting in the mid 30s would be considered later in life. There are some benefits to that too, I believe, and I think, like you say, it could be on a case-by-case basis. But typically, going into like from the mid-30s into like the early 40s and beyond, you have people who are already pre-established.
Speaker 1Right when we think about some of the major cause for concerns when it comes to divorce rates, about some of the major cause for concerns when it comes to divorce rates financial stability, accountability, emotional access, emotional stability, all of that stuff right. When you're a little bit older, a little bit later in life, I think that the intentions are a bit more clear with people who are dating, because we can come to each other and say I have accomplished this in my life, which is I've had time to focus on it. I've had time to stabilize myself. I've had time to build my career. I've had time to, I've had time. Does that make sense? I've had time. This is me as a package, and this is what I'm presenting.
Speaker 1And this is what I'm looking for.
Speaker 2I feel like it's very more direct to the point.
Speaker 1It's more of a deal it's, yeah, it's like we both understand that. I can do life without you, you can do life without me, but the only thing that we're missing is the companionship. The only thing we're missing is the connectivity, the human connectivity. So I kind of feel like, when you do something like marriage later in life and you come to come to each other with that level of like quote unquote completeness, yeah, it's like we already have an understanding.
Workout Achievements and Weekly Updates
Speaker 2Because if you're, if you're 35 and you've been single and you haven't really been married or had a lot of like long term committed relationships, whatever, by this point you've had, you figured out life, how to live life by yourself.
Speaker 1Yeah, and you know. You know what you want by what you don't want from your past experiences. So now you have a better understanding of what you're willing to deal. It's kind of like when you're in college right Before we all go off to college, right, but before going off to college you had an idea of what you thought you wanted to take as a career path.
Speaker 2What you?
Speaker 1thought was a career path right. Then you get because I went to school. When I was in college there was one, one of my friends in particular. She changed her major legit like three times right. So I think about things like that because they always say you start as one thing you start going through the motions of it.
Speaker 1I should have changed mine. You start going through the motions of it and you quickly realize I cannot vision myself doing this for the rest of my life. But you only got that vision because you got the experience of knowing.
Speaker 1So it's like the same thing with the relationship. I've been through six bad relationships to know that these are non-negotiables when it comes to my partner. So when we meet up later in life and you come to me as a package and I come to you as a package and I say, hey, you know you not showing up on time, based on my past research and experience, that does not settle well with like my lifestyle and what I'm looking for in a partner.
Speaker 2So we don't have to you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1So I feel like there's a little bit more, there's a little bit more directness, so there's not too many. You didn't know or you changed.
Speaker 2And I think that leads towards the statistic that people who a couple who married before 25 are twice as likely to divorce. Right, right, as opposed to if you wait to 25 or older, you're more, you're more likely to let it. Yeah, because you be successful.
Speaker 1right, because you've developed a little bit more life experience. So it kind of goes back to remember when I was in my 20s and people would always say what to me, you're just a, just a baby.
Speaker 1You're just a baby, and it used to, and we do the same thing now, but it used to burn my britch, like burn my britches when people would be like you're just a baby and I'm like I'm a whole freaking adult, like I pay my way, I work every day, you know. So now, when we see like young people younger people, because I'm young, but when we see younger people who have like this, this idea of like my life is figured out I have, you know, and don't get me wrong, there are some really good, strong headed, you know, young people who do have a lot figured out and kudos to you, but that is not the majority. But when we see younger people who haven't really experienced a lot of like I don't want to say turmoil, but just challenges in life, and when you have a conversation with them and they're telling you like oh no, I do this, or you know, this is how we set our life up, you're like that's cute because you haven't had anything to really interrupt that you haven't had any experiences.
Speaker 2You haven't had any experiences, you haven't gone through the dark doors.
Speaker 1Right right, you haven't gone through the dark doors, right right, you haven't gone through the space yet where you look at your partner and you're like I really do need to like Bye Maurice, like significant hardships, where it almost made you question the decision that you've made to be with this person for the rest of your life.
Speaker 1You know what I'm saying, and so I think when it talks about that there are two more times more likely to get divorced without that experience, it's easy for you to latch onto the emotions of. You know, this doesn't seem like it's going to work out for me, because we're in such a rough spot right now and I don't know how long this rough spot is going to last. But I know that I don't want to do it. It makes me uncomfortable, it makes me unhappy, it makes me unsettled, so I'm I'm gonna peace out. You know what I mean, as opposed to somebody who got married in their late 40s or like mid 40s or something it's like. Okay, we can understand that we're having a disagreement and maybe you need a little bit of space. I need a little bit of space, and then we can talk about it like mature adults and come back to it, and then we can.
Speaker 1We can work that we can work it out yeah, because, because, guess what, I have no plans on doing this shit again, because I'm already. I'm already, I'm halfway through.
Speaker 2According to statistics, I only have 20 more summers, so so, like I tell you all the time I said, when I tell you you don't believe me, but I tell you, I said don't believe me, but I'm not doing this again.
Speaker 1I am not doing this again, yeah, I mean, I, I listen, it makes sense, you know, um, but also so marrying young versus marrying old when it comes to things like financial stability, right. So, um, the average marriage for the average age for your first marriage for men is about 30, okay, okay, and for women it's about 28, okay, which I guess that kind of is more on par, because we got married when I was what?
Speaker 229, yeah, when I was 29 so you were 30, I was 29. So you were 30. I was 30. Yep. And then we had our first child, I was 30, but turning 31.
Speaker 1No, you were turning 30.
Speaker 2I was 29, turning 30. Yep.
Speaker 1Damn got me young.
Speaker 2It was that once, damn got me young, got me young.
Speaker 1This one also is more true when it comes to.
Speaker 2I will say this I do say like granted, we've been together two and a half decades, right Plus, but we did not get married until we were financially stable, like at that point.
Speaker 1Better off, I would say.
Speaker 2No, we were way financially better off.
Speaker 1Oh well than before in our earlier twins, absolutely when we got married.
Speaker 2You were a manager. You have an eyelash that's about to attack your life.
Speaker 1No, it's really going to make your day adorable, not doable.
Speaker 2You were a manager, you were making good money. I was full time Before. Groceries were crazy, right, and so we were literally like we had we were living that dink life in a real way we literally we got married at a point to where two of my checks covered all of our monthly experiences, so we was out there a while, yeah it was a good time.
Speaker 1Good time, great back in the day, it was a really good time. You don't feel like cooking back in the day, it was a really good time. You don't like cooking, that's fine, but we never felt like cooking and we stayed in somebody's restaurant so that I can see that being financially stable.
Speaker 2I do think that's a key point.
Speaker 1I think that's a huge key point for marrying later while we did have our years of struggle.
Speaker 2we weren't tied to one another, we were struggling we were tied to each other, like emotionally.
Speaker 1Yeah, but we could have walked away at any time. Thank, gosh.
Speaker 2She didn't because I would have to be— but so I can see that. And also going back to what you were saying about the fertility thing, that's also important because— Very important that's where marrying younger—. Yes, because that's where marrying younger is very beneficial Because you know you women folk have your clock where it gets harder, you women folk, where it gets harder as you get older. And one day you look up and you're pregnant at 35 and the paperwork say geriatric.
Speaker 1Yeah, that's so crazy. And then you and your feelings, that's some crazy stuff.
Speaker 2Because you're 35 and now you're ger feelings. That's some crazy. That's some crazy stuff. Because you 35 and now you geriatric that's crazy geriatric pregnancy but it's not. But it's not just women, men too, I mean men. We do a lot of stupid stuff that probably hinders our sperm count yeah, but it don't stop it just, it just hinders it, just it.
Speaker 1Don't stop the show. It just it jazz tangents for sure.
Speaker 2So I mean, I honestly feel like if you want a big family, that is probably one of the very few benefits of marrying a girl.
Speaker 1Yeah, A 2023 study from the CDC shows that women who basically marry 35 and older and who want to start trying to conceive a child have a higher risk of infertility than somebody who obviously is younger than 35. So I mean, that makes sense For those types of purposes. I do think it makes sense. But for us, as an example, I was always hell-bent on waiting.
Speaker 2Because she would have had 10. Yeah, by 25.
Speaker 1And I don't know if subconsciously I felt that like being with you and knowing your upbringing and knowing how you spoke about family and stuff like that. I don't know if subconsciously you did that was just an arbitrary number that I had set, but it was but I also felt, I also felt as though in my 30s, again going back to lives, that we thought you know, I was a planner. I was very much a lister and a planner.
Speaker 1You still are. I am. But back then it was very like no, we have to stick to this schedule, you know. So I knew what, how things should have looked all the way up to 25, 26, you know. And so I always said, by the time I was in my 30s, things should be very nice, bright and sunny enough for me to be more comfortable with bringing a child into the world. And so I stuck to that and I was like I'm not having kids to my 30s. I don't care what, what, who says what you know.
Speaker 2But now that I stuck to that plan you wish you would say I wish I was I do see the benefits in starting earlier and that's a whole nother episode we're talking about, because I, I had a completely like. Granted, I was not trying to have babies at like 22, but I probably for 25. To me it was like 25 26, I was like okay like, let's like like we should probably get a start.
Speaker 2Let's get this ball rolling. And my wife was like no, I got like six more years, yeah. Like yeah, calm down, yeah.
Speaker 1And I knew, and I knew that if we had gotten married that time, like I would have pressured you, you would have pressured me, and so another reason. Like I said, because I knew your history and because I knew what type of man you were, I was like if I marry him right now. I'm going to be under the pressure and clock to have his children.
Speaker 2My wife knew. My wife knew that I told her when we were dating I wanted a lot of kids.
Speaker 1He didn't say he wanted a lot of kids, I said five. He wanted a family. He didn't say a lot of kids. I told her I wanted five.
Speaker 2I said I wanted five, maybe six. I needed. I needed a starting five plus a sub. I don't remember that I needed a starting five. I don't remember that conversation and all I got was the sub.
Speaker 1It's the best sub in the sub history okay, she was like she, she would trick me.
Speaker 2We're going to go back to back.
Speaker 1Okay, listen. No, we are going off on a tangent, right now.
Speaker 2Let me talk, let me talk it, we're going to go, we're going back to back. And then she experienced the childbirth, childbirth and, and and the postpartum that came with that.
Speaker 1And she said no way in hell, Boy, hell, you're touching me right now.
Speaker 2She looked at me and said I don't even like you, no more what you did to me. I was like I didn't do nothing.
Speaker 1All right, listen, that was always my intention, because I was like, if we can go back to back, I could be like okay, kynesha, you can be a writer and do it and get it done. You know you strong, you a thug about it, you a gangster.
Speaker 2But research also shows that people that marry in their late 20s or early 30s have higher satisfaction rates, and that's mainly because when you marry later, you're more mature yeah, you're more, a little bit more stable, you have your habits.
Speaker 2Uh, you know, um, yep, um, you have your habits, but you're also, you know, you're willing to see both sides, whereas when you marry younger, you're a little immature, you're kind of setting your ways, whereas when you marry younger, you're a little immature, you're kind of setting your ways and you don't want to compromise because you feel like you know everything.
Speaker 1I feel like I feel as though there's a lot of of the like mushy emotion in it too. You know what I mean. Like the whole, that's my husband, that's my wife, like I'm loving on you and things are going to feel like this forever. You know what I mean. You're my person when you're a bit older and you had a little bit of life experience. And this doesn't go for everybody, because we know some people there are in their forties that still think they're 19. So this isn't for everybody. But typically, when you look at statistics like that, it makes sense because, like we said before, you've had a little bit of life experience, you've gone through some things. You know what you like, based off of what you don't like. So there's a little bit more life stability there and not as much wiggle room with things you're willing to put up with.
Speaker 2And, like you said, going to what you said, life stability, life stability, and that's another thing. When you marry later, you have time to explore yourself, yeah, your identity, your goals, and have a a, a, a, a, a better level of independence, right, and it also, uh, leads to you having like stronger, like social support, because now you have mentors, you have stable friendships yeah, and you probably have friends who have already been married, right?
Speaker 1yeah, yeah, I mean.
Speaker 2And then you're like girl, when are you gonna join me? Because I can't, I can't be going to brunch all these single ladies but I do think that there is.
Speaker 1I see both sides of it honestly. I can definitely see both sides of it, but there are obviously benefits to marrying younger and getting a quote unquote start on life.
Speaker 2I really think it. Like I said at the top, I really think it all depends. I feel like our situation is unique to us as everyone else's situation will be unique to them. Us as everyone else the situation will be unique to them. It's just in case we were born, not born, but we were in a situation to where we decided not to give up on one another. Yeah, so we kind of like we always say, we grew one another. Yeah, and through that process we didn't venture far enough off of who we originally were. Yeah, so where it made it capable for us to still be together and still have our core values, still have what attracted each of us to each other at the same time.
Speaker 2So, we didn't change a lot through our 20s for the maturity you know. For, like, our maturity didn't really change that much. We're kind of somewhat mature as young adults. Our morals didn't change, our beliefs really didn't change. Our beliefs really didn't change. Now we, we, we had our, we had our role. Bumps, lord knows. Life was life, yeah, but we were rooted enough in each other and the love we have for each other to go through that together yeah, I mean, and the thing is is obviously we're still living life, so we don't know what life has in store for us.
Speaker 1You know what I'm saying. But, um, like couples marrying later also, studies show that typically stay married longer, um, because they delayed marriage until they felt like they were ready. So kind of like with us with the baby, it was delayed until.
Speaker 2I felt as though you felt like you were ready.
Speaker 1I mean I had to do 99% of the work.
Speaker 2I feel like I would have been a great dad, no matter what I mean.
Speaker 1I don't Listen. I didn't stay with you as long as I did because I thought you would be a deadbeat.
Speaker 2Oh wait, are you leaving me?
Speaker 1now I'm talking about in the beginning.
Speaker 2But I'm just saying as long as I did Like she got a date picked in the future.
Speaker 1I wouldn't have been around if I thought that you would be a deadbeat because, based on my history and conversations that we've had, you know how important that is for me, but now that I see how good some of these deadbeats got it, Okay, I'm not doing this with you today. I'm not doing this with you today Because I don't think you have me on child support. No, as long as you take care of your child, there's no reason to be out there. Just live my life. You could do whatever.
Speaker 2You quite literally can do whatever you want to do, because that's the only you're gonna have to answer for your actions.
Speaker 1I'm not gonna be standing up there with you. Oh, you can't. No, lord, give me one second. Let me go get. Let me go get kind. She'll tell you what the experience was like. Hold on, jesus, give me a second. So, yeah, ok. But so, going to some of the impacts that marriage has on both men and women, ok, let's talk about it. Married women are more likely to experience a marriage pay gap, earning less than unmarried women due to caregiving expectations. What do you think about that?
Speaker 2I can see how that can be a thing if you're not working as much or if you're not working at all. If you're a stay-at-home mother, you don't have an income, so I can see that, and if you're focusing on taking care of your children and that's the way your dynamic is set up, yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 1That makes sense. Married women live three to five years longer than unmarried women.
Speaker 2Okay, However, I think that's true only because you know they want to win the war.
Speaker 1Okay. However, the health benefits do not speak the same to married men, and I feel like we have touched on that before okay. So even though married women I guess you know on average, based on a harvard study that was done lived three to five years longer than unmarried women, married women definitely do not outlive married men. That's funny.
Speaker 2I don't think it's funny Because all the marriages I know the woman outlived the man.
Speaker 1And the man died. What did they die from?
Speaker 2Well, my grandfather died at old age. Yeah, well, not old age, but he had cancer. Yeah, I don't know. What's your grandfather die from?
Speaker 1I never knew my grandfather.
Speaker 2But you knew your granny your whole life.
Speaker 1But you knew your granny your whole life.
Speaker 2So I'm saying my research says differently.
Speaker 1Okay, that's one and that's one. So that's one and one, that's two, but we're talking in general, so, and that's based on hold on.
Speaker 2Monty may I lived her husband, okay. Okay, monty jean, I live hers, okay. Oh, there's a thing going on here, huh, like I said in my experience, and you're in your experience.
Speaker 1Okay, that's fair, do them a little longer.
Speaker 2They're more resilient, I guess I fully expect you to live longer than me. Okay, strictly, because I don't want to go first. I mean, I want to go first Because I don't want to have to deal with it.
Speaker 1Well, you know, I always say we're going to be in bed together, cuddly.
Speaker 2In your fantasy world. Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1I mean, if I keep.
Speaker 2But even if we're in the bed together cuddling, I'm going to tell God because that second of me realizing you're not there, you won't, you'd be unconscious I don't want to deal with it you mean like when you show up and you're like damn, where's my sister?
Speaker 1sister, we're not married in heaven.
Speaker 2Oh, you know me forever um, let's see.
Speaker 1uh, women still perform about 70 percent of unpaid housework Thoughts. I don't see no problem with that. I can't stand you Women are. Hold on.
Speaker 2I'll only say that that depends on your dynamic. If you are like in our situation, right, you are a stay-at-home mom. Yeah, I'm not going to do 50% of the housework when you are at home. Like, I'll come home on occasion and help you with some dishes, it's not, yes, well helping, but like wash your dishes in your house. Right, I'll come, like I swept the floor this morning. Like you know, I'll do stuff, it's just it ain't on top of my list.
Financial Stability and Marriage Benefits
Speaker 1It's not like it's set in your schedule, Like on Mondays. I do the dishes.
Speaker 2What's important to me is that when you turn shit on, it actually turns on. When you open the refrigerator, there's actually food in there. That's how I do my part. Okay, it may not be the food you want.
Speaker 1But it is, it's there, it's there.
Speaker 2It might be a beans and rice type of wheat.
Speaker 1I like beans and rice, I know especially red beans. I'm not making more red beans. Cut it out. This man has had me make red beans like three times. Look here.
Speaker 2I'm not making any more damn beans. It's about to get chilly.
Speaker 1It's not getting chilly. It was like 90 degrees where we were yesterday.
Speaker 2It's about to get chilly. We finna be a bean and soup house.
Speaker 1The soup? Definitely Did you see all the veggies and stuff I bought for the soup I'm gonna be making her. I'm gonna a side note I'm gonna attempt to make like from scratch homemade pho.
Speaker 2Okay.
Speaker 1It should take me two days. I'll report on it next week. Bye, I'll report on it, let's see. So these are just like some statistical facts and stuff that, based on research, marriage provides financial and emotional stability for women raising children. I agree for I would say for the most part. I guess single mothers are at a 31% poverty risk versus 5% for married women in the US. So I mean.
Speaker 2I suppose I feel like they just married a guy pregnant by the wrong one.
Speaker 1I mean, there's women who are married, who got married to the wrong one, married men lived 8 to 10 years, longer on average than unmarried men 8 to 10 years longer oh yes, on average than unmarried.
Speaker 2Men live eight to ten years longer on average than unmarried men Eight to ten years longer, oh yes, on average, than unmarried men, isn't that?
Speaker 1crazy though Eight to ten for men and it's only three to five for women.
Speaker 2Crazy, but you women are still outpacing us.
Speaker 1Crazy? No, they're not.
Speaker 2It says that they benefit strongly from a stable, from the stability and care of marriage. Now I do agree with that, because while I do worry about the financials, I don't worry about anything else.
Speaker 1I'm happy we have that on record, you saying that and then also saying how Hold on Because that leaves literally every other emotional and mental load for the woman, hold on.
Speaker 2But I do worry about I guess that's still kind of financially. I do worry about your well-being, my daughter's well-being. That's financial. Well, I worry about the mental part of it too. I see when you're mentally drained and I try to help out by sweeping the floor. Okay, first of all, you are not mentally drained today. I'm mentally drained. So I feel like I do what I have to do when needed. Ok, that that is my philosophy Do what you, do what you must.
Speaker 1You feel you fill in where you, where you feel like the gap is growing, I get what?
Speaker 1I can, when I have it to give Right, right it also says here that married men earn 10 to 40 percent more than unmarried men, partly due to stability, focus and spousal support. Yeah and okay. So that makes sense, because I had also saw a clip where this guy was essentially saying part of the reason behind that is because if you didn't have the pressures of a wife or a family to push you to want to earn more, to, you know, to be in a higher tax bracket to bring home more money, then you would be more comfortable being right where you are earning the minimum.
Speaker 2I could cut my income in half and live by myself. Perfectly fine, exactly, exactly so. What I'm trying to express to you right now is the added expense of having a family.
Speaker 1That has caused me to earn and to attempt to earn more so that's what it is so, essentially, you wouldn't be striving for better in life if it wasn't for your family.
Speaker 2It's not better life because I'm not trying. I'm not trying to get better for me, I'm trying to be better for y'all.
Speaker 1Okay, but in in essence, that makes you, that makes you have to step your game up to be a better person as men.
Speaker 2It's the small things make us happy. Men don't really need a lot.
Speaker 1Okay, see, and that is you try to bring it down to like one little thing, like all I need is an apple and I'm happy.
Speaker 2And if you gave me, an apple a day, like okay. It also says here that married men report lower rates of depression and substance abuse. Wives often act as health managers. Now I will say this this health managers health managers. Yes, I will say this, that is true, because my wife she will, she, she Will. You need to go to the doctor, me to death?
Speaker 1Did I not just make you a doctor? Did I not just make you a doctor's appointment? Oh, my, god, my toe hurt.
Speaker 2Go to the doctor.
Speaker 1Go to the doctor.
Speaker 2Oh my, my elbow Go to the doctor.
Speaker 1I made him a doctor's appointment. He got one next month. And then what I just told you In other doctors yep, you need to go see the eye doctor. Because you ain't? Because I have noticed that there has not been an eye doctor appointment on there. So, matter of fact, you just reminded me. I'm getting on it tomorrow. Everyone get an eye doctor appointment.
Speaker 2Well, I do agree with the lower depression rates, because when you're married, as a married man, you can't afford to be depressed because you got shit you got to do, you got now. I don't know if I agree with the substance abuse, because it may. It just may be alcoholism, because sometimes, dealing with these, women. It may just be alcoholism because sometimes, dealing with these women, you need to do a little drink, a drink, something to take the edge off.
Speaker 1But you don't even drink not anymore.
Speaker 2I used to.
Speaker 1I know, but you don't even drink. Remember I was drinking it, I was coming home okay, here we go. You finna say that. You finna say that again and I'm gonna still disagree that that never happened.
Speaker 2But okay, you was like you, just slow down, okay. Okay, I was knocking on back. It says here men are more like, men are more men rely more heavily on spouses for emotional support. Without marriage, men often have weaker social networks, and I will say this is 100% true, because I would not talk to most of you. I talk to most of the people I talk to now, especially now, if this butterfly mouth woman here.
Speaker 1Oh, now we're name calling. That's wild, it's pretty.
Speaker 2Thanks If she didn't talk to me, because most people know me through my wife. I have the same two friends I've had for the last 12 years with a bunch of extensions I've had from my wife. You're welcome. I got to tell you all the time my social life is catered around this woman. So when this woman is no longer here, the social life is gone and honestly Expect not to see me. It doesn't, it won't even bother me. I'm good, you don't know. And also it says divorced men are more likely than women to struggle with loneliness, financial hardship and health decline. And I can understand that 100 percent completely. Because he's divorced and she took him to the bank. So now he has financial hardship and since he's worried about how he's going to survive, his health is declining and he's lonely because he's out there fighting by himself because that woman has drained him of everything he's worked for.
Speaker 1I don't even, I'm not even going to respond to that, because she knows it's true.
Speaker 2Okay, Men experience high, okay. So, with all the stats and numbers, men experience stronger gains across nearly all categories Health wealth, longevity and mental well-being when married and women get emotional support through child rearing stability.
Speaker 1When you have willing participants, I'm willing, some health benefits, I love how it's like some health benefits, but with men it says health and wealth like it's you, it's definitive. With women it's some okay, um, but face a disproportionate household, labor, career and sacrifice more and are like unlikely that's case by case, because I know, I know more.
Speaker 2I know a lot of women that are, that have thriving careers with their children. Oh, of course okay, nothing is.
Speaker 1It's not like a definitive thing, but this is just like based overall, okay, but I know a lot of women that have thriving careers with their children. Oh, of course, it's not like a definitive thing, but this is just based overall. But overall research does consistently show that men benefit from marriage far more than women do in measurable ways. I still don't agree with that, but okay, how do you not agree with that, based on the things you just said by saying like Four more, I think it's equal.
Speaker 2Four more is wild. Women benefit if the marriage is high quality, yes, but if it's not, they are more likely to walk away.
Speaker 1Men. On the other hand, often 71% of divorces are initiated by women.
Speaker 2See, it says for men marriage almost always pays dividends. I can say my marriage has paid some dividends. I have a lovely daughter that I adore. That is my dividend she's amazing Right. It says for women it only pays when they have the right partner. That is absolutely true, so it goes back to what I say all the time ladies, choose wisely, yeah.
Speaker 1Choose wisely, and here's the thing, and that's not to paint it in such a terrible light either. But we also can't ignore the fact that reasonings behind getting married differs for men and women at different stages in life, whether it be younger, whether it be older. My purposes for finding a spouse are completely different than your purposes of finding a oh gosh, the personality matched it, this man and it was a match.
Speaker 2This man, this man what did I tell you yesterday?
Speaker 1I don't know what did you tell?
Speaker 2me, you tell me things all the time.
Speaker 1But yeah, so that does make sense when it says marriages are only good when women find the right one, the right one because, I feel like I did oh.
Speaker 2She feels like it, she doesn't know. Okay, all right.
Speaker 1My experience is completely different than the majority. Okay, so.
Speaker 2I was asking you about your experience and you felt like you did. You didn't know, you felt like it. Okay.
Speaker 1Listen, all right.
Gender Differences in Marriage Benefits
Speaker 1Like I was saying, the purposes in which people seek out companionship, partnership, marriage for women is completely different than that of men.
Speaker 1So it also makes sense when a statement like that is made that marriage only benefits or works out greatly for a woman if she picks the right partner.
Speaker 1Okay, okay, because I, you know, for me I would say, even majority of the time, even if a man has chosen, uh, someone who is not like his ideal, he is still going to, just on maybe a day-to-day basis, benefit a lot more from that relationship than the woman does. And even if we're just, even if we're just talking about his basic needs being met, him being fed, him being emotionally supported, her holding a mental and emotional space for him and not, you know, coming down on his shortcomings or reminding him of things that he needs to do, just creating that level of comfort for him to be able to, you know, go through life and make the necessary adjustments, he's still benefiting more than she would be benefiting if she's not getting the emotional support, if she's not getting the financial support, things like that. So her experience in the relationship is going to be completely different than his, things like that. So her experience in the relationship is gonna be completely different than his, even if he's not 100 satisfied, agreed, agree yes okay, that was a great conversation, babe.
Speaker 1Let's hop on and finish this off with everyone's favorite. What is it, babe? Go ahead and hop on right into our two cents. Okay, am I overreacting for being upset? My boyfriend upgraded his seat to first class and left me an economy. Let's get into it for our flight. My 32 year old boyfriend and I'm a 29 year old female booked flights for vacation together. We both bought economy tickets. At the gate he got an offer to upgrade to first class for a discount and he took it. He looked at me and said sorry, babe, I'll see you when we land. I ended up sitting in the back, squeezed between two strangers, while he enjoyed champagne and leg room up front. When I told him afterwards that I felt hurt, he said that I was overreacting and that he quote unquote deserved it to treat himself because he paid for his own ticket. It honestly felt so inconsiderate, like he just ditched me out of nowhere. But now I'm questioning if I'm blowing this out of proportion or am I seriously overreacting?
Speaker 2I don't think you're overreacting. I don't think you're overreacting.
Speaker 1But this is hilarious. But see, this goes for me. This goes back to what we were talking about. I know.
Speaker 2Because now I didn't have this and I didn't have an experience.
Speaker 1Now, so, moving forward, because when we break up because I'm adding this to the list when we break up, I'm adding this to the list of why. And when I go into my next relationship, when I'm looking for marriage, I'm going to say I expect you to cover me at every point in your life if we go into an agreement of marriage.
Speaker 1OK so that also means not leaving me in economy when you get the chance to upgrade in life, because that tells me, when you get the chance to upgrade in life, if I don't fit in that, guess who's not coming and guess who's going to leave me behind. Guess who's not protected. And that's what I'm in this relationship for, right? So again, you still benefiting from being in a relationship with a woman, but a woman is not getting what she needs out the relationship. All from that. One little thing, that's.
Speaker 2That's the way my brain works okay, well, I'm gonna just say this okay, okay um, I don't think she's, I don't think you're overreacting. I do side with you on this and I I see this as a red flag because I me personally, who I am, I I wouldn't upgrade, um if I couldn't upgrade both, both seats that's what I was going to say If you would have asked if you could upgrade both seats.
Speaker 2Because essentially he just left you. So in my mind, my logical mind, I would probably say and maybe the guy's not going to agree with me If he can leave you that easily on a flight.
Speaker 1Say it again for the people in the back, babe, because that's exactly where my brain went.
Speaker 2If he can leave, leave that easy on the flight. If something, if something young and better, come by, he gonna leave you that easy again. So I don't think he's not really for you. I I wouldn't do it. So I don't think you're overreacting. I I think he's, uh, I think it's a red flag.
Speaker 1So add it to the list, baby girl, because that's what if you're out in a different country, you at a nightclub, and they offer him to go to VIP and he say can? I bring somebody hold on that'd be flipped hold on and he'd be like and he'd be like oh babe, they only offer me and I can't bring bring nobody. But enjoy the club and I'll meet you back at the hotel later.
Speaker 2Wow crazy work.
Speaker 1I am, I'm leaving. Okay, I'm leaving Because that's for me, like that's what I'm saying For women, it's like that's a huge red flag.
Speaker 2It's a red flag for me, because I would have said the same shit.
Speaker 1Hold on, you didn't do what. You're leaving me Right. And then you tell me that it's not.
Speaker 2We're leaving together or not, right?
Speaker 1And the reason need you to pay for the ticket? It's gonna be for the movers to come get your shit at my place too. Um, let's see, am I overreacting for locking my bedroom door after my mother-in-law kept entering without permission?
Speaker 1oh, okay I'm a 23 year old female and I've been married to my husband, who's 31, for three years and we're currently expecting our first child. We both expected, but also we're also. We're excited, but also stressed. I've had a tough pregnancy, and rest is really important to me. My mother-in-law, who's 55, lives about 20 minutes away and has had a bad habit of just dropping by unannounced girl no my husband has always brushed it off, saying that's just how she is and that she means well.
Our Two Cents: Relationship Advice Questions
Speaker 1At first it was annoying but but lately she's been crossing serious boundaries. Last month she came over while I was napping, let herself in with the spare key we gave her for emergencies and came into our bedroom to quote unquote check on me. I woke up standing. I woke up with her standing by my bed watching me sleep. I told my husband it was creepy and that I wanted to spare a key back. He said that I was overreacting and that she was just being motherly.
Speaker 1Then it happened again twice. One time I was in just a t-shirt and underwear and she actually sat down at the edge of the bed to talk. I told her firmly that I needed privacy and rest, so I changed the doorknob on our bedroom door to one with a lock. The next time she dropped by and couldn't get into our room, she freaked out Apparently. She tried the handle, knocked and even called my husband at work saying she was worried that something had happened. Later that night she called me controlling and rude, saying I was quote unquote shutting her out of her grandchild's life. Already my husband asked if I could just take the doorknob off just to keep the peace. I told him no, she doesn't respect boundaries and the lock stays. Now his whole family is saying that I'm being dramatic and that pregnancy hormones are making me paranoid. I honestly don't think that I'm wrong, but now I feel isolated and ganged up on. Am I wrong for locking my bedroom door?
Speaker 1no, no, no no you're not, no, it's that. You're no, no tell your husband to grow some balls okay, you already chose when you married me, sir, like, like that, I think that's First of all you have to understand. You chose when you married me. This is why you chose when you asked me to be your wife and to be the mother of your child. You chose, you made a decision. I'm going to say this again.
Speaker 2I say it all the time If your partner is with child, pregnant, your number one priority should make sure that she is extremely comfortable. Give her whatever she needs, because her mental state is the baby's mental state. So you have to think about I don't care how illogical it sounds, dumb, how unnecessary it sounds to you. If she deems it necessary, you go along with it, at least until that baby is out, right? You don't even confront her about this. And your mother is weird sir, who watches someone sleep. I would have locked the door too. Look here as someone who has been through this, not to this extent.
Speaker 1I was like you have not been through that.
Speaker 2But we used to live close to my mother-in-law and she would just pop up and, matter of fact, one of the reasons for buying my house, I told her. I said it needs to be far enough away to where she would have to call to verify if somebody would be here. That was a rule, so Verify if somebody would be here that was a rule, so she don't like waste the trip, right. Because she don't want to just pull up and be like man.
Speaker 2I just wasted an hour 45 minutes to an hour On the freeway to get here and ain't not home. So no, you're not wrong, you're not overreacting, you're not the asshole.
Speaker 1I would lock I would change the front door lock? Yeah, because would lock. I would change the front door lock. Yeah, because listen here, and from, like the, the mother-in-law's two perspective, I can understand this. Being your first grandchild, I can understand this. Being like your, your son is your baby. I get that. But you also have to respect his life and his wife, right? So it's not like his wife is saying that she doesn't want you around. That's not the complaint. The complaint isn't you being around. The complaint is you just not respecting the boundaries and her privacy. Because even if she, like she, wants to take a nap in the middle of the day, right? If you wanted to check on her call, send a text message, ask if everything is okay, ask if she's in the mood for some company, ask if you want me to bring you something, then I can come over.
Speaker 1But you just on a random Wednesday being like, oh you know what, Let me go check out my son's house and bother his wife, who's pregnant, and see if I can get on her nerves.
Speaker 2It's just like last week. We told our boy the problem is that you popped up, stop popping up.
Speaker 1Listen here. Problem is that you popped it. You popped up. Stop popping up. Yeah, people don't like listen here people. Some people are cool with it and that's fine.
Speaker 1I'm not not everybody's cool with you, just popping up out the blue and being like okay, well, I was just coming to check in on you, I want to hang out or like with her, especially because she is pregnant. Call her and be like hey, daughter, like is everything okay? Can I bring you something? I was thinking about stopping by, like because she could genuinely just want to be around you because you're carrying her grandchild and that's perfectly okay, that's fine. But you can't just do that when you feel like it.
Speaker 1That's the issue.
Speaker 1I don't mind you wanting to be around me because I'm pregnant. There are some people who love being around pregnant people like pregnant women. They love it. It's like the energy, like rubbing bellies, asking if they. That's fine. You just can't do it when you feel like it. You need to be courteous, respect the boundaries. Her husband, your son, needs to say hey, mom, we appreciate all the support that you try to give us. We love when you come by.
Speaker 1The only request that my wife is making is that you don't use the key that we gave you for emergency purposes, for non-emergency purposes. It is not okay for you to just walk into my house at any given time, walk into our bedroom. That's the problem. That, like I my, I had a an issue with my friend who had told me that her in-law, her mother-in-law, had went into their house and went into their bedroom saying she was looking for a band-aid and somehow ended up looking through their nightstands. Baby, you wasn't searching for no band-aid in my nightstand. You were not looking in my nightstand for a band-aid. Who goes into somebody's nightstand and look for a band-aid? And not the medicine cabinet or the bathroom? But in any case, you shouldn't be walking your ass in my bedroom in general without like permission.
Speaker 2I mean, you know how I feel about people sitting on our bed.
Speaker 1Oh well, no, yeah, no, you absolutely cannot sit on my bed I would like to go to my room.
Speaker 1That's not a thing, but the mother-in-law just needs to respect the boundaries, especially during this time Especially. The mother-in-law just needs to respect the boundaries, especially during this time, especially during this time. I don't think she's wrong for wanting to be around her daughter-in-law. I don't think she's wrong for wanting to go to the son's house, whatever, she just needs to respect the boundary and I think everything will be fine. A simple phone call or text message and I honestly think it will solve the issue.
Speaker 2I'm going to say just stop popping up before you get popped.
Speaker 1Okay, maurice, you get popped. Okay, marise, that's a little much here. That's a little dramatic. No one's gonna get popped. Are you a sex criminal? Who's now? I want to watch big bang theory. No, I'm not a sex criminal. All righty guys. This has been another episode of the life after I do podcast. You can follow us on all of our social media. You can follow us on TikTok, instagram, facebook.
Speaker 2YouTube OnlyPans.
Speaker 1Don't forget to like and comment and share if you've been enjoying the podcast. We appreciate all the new love that we've gotten over on the platforms. Would you stop tickling me? And we enjoy recording these episodes for you guys. Remember you can always write into lifeafteridoepodcasts at gmailcom for any type of advice or if you want to send us are you the assholes or am I overreacting? And you can continue to DM them to us too. You guys seem to really like to DM us these things, so we appreciate all the love and support. You get a new episode every Wednesday, so until then, peace booskies, peace booskies.
