Life After I Do Podcast
Marriage and relationships can be tough. You may feel like you’re the only one struggling but you’re not. Life After I do is a weekly podcast where Morice and Kynesha, a black married millennial couple, share their experiences and advice on everything from kids and family to intimacy and connection. Noting is off limits.
In their 21 years together and 7 years of marriage, Morice and Kynesha have learned a lot about what it takes to make a relationship work. They know the importance of communication, trust and commitment. They also know it’s okay to not have it all figured out.
Join them every Wednesday as they talk about their own journey of “Life After I do”.
Life After I Do Podcast
Fantasy Draft
If you could design your perfect partner, what traits would they have? This week, we build our “Fantasy Marriage Draft,” picking the qualities we think make for a solid, lasting relationship.
From emotional intelligence and consistency to playfulness and independence, we talk through what really counts over time—not just during the honeymoon phase.
We also answer some listener questions, including a surprise paternity story and a relationship debate about showing up unannounced.
Whether you’re single or married, this episode will have you thinking about the traits that matter most—and recognizing them in your real-life partner more than you might expect.
Thanks for rocking with us! Don’t forget to follow Life After I Do so you never miss an episode. Got a relationship situation you want us to weigh in on? Hit us at https://linktr.ee/lifeafteridopodcast — we just might talk about it in a future episode.
Like stocky boy, you know, to the fellas listening.
Speaker 1:I want y'all to know right now that I've won in life, Because I was the nerd that bagged the prom queen.
Speaker 2:And I loved you then and I love you even more now.
Speaker 1:See, I had nothing going for me in high school, but my brain and I stopped using it after I graduated.
Speaker 2:I had nothing going for me but my brain. Okay, goodbye.
Speaker 1:And I stopped using it after high school. Goodbye.
Speaker 2:It is what it is. First of all, hey everyone and welcome back to your weekly dose of Life. After I Do podcast, come in, take a seat, hang out with us for the next 40 minutes or so.
Speaker 1:Sit down.
Speaker 2:Don't talk, sit down Just listen, relax, we're going to.
Speaker 1:I was doing Jodeci. I don't know what the hell you was doing. What are you?
Speaker 2:talking about you were doing Jodeci. I don't know what the hell you was doing what?
Speaker 1:are you?
Speaker 2:talking about you were doing Jodeci crazy work pause, pause crazy work all the way, pause.
Speaker 1:I was saying the lines of Jodeci's song okay, that's better.
Speaker 2:that's not, it's okay, I've been's better. Baby, won't you just say that's not, it's okay.
Speaker 1:That's okay, I've been you look here. I know you don't like this, like what? But your husband has been deep in his Something on me. Yeah, you got, I don't know Well it's public. Your husband has been deep in his R&B bag. You always listen to R&B, but like, no, like I'm officially in my old man era Cause I don't wanna hear no rap. Oh my gosh, right now I just wanna hear Some good old fashioned R&B.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's just, that's just the mood you've been in.
Speaker 1:I wanna hear some niggas Going through some shit.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:I wanna hear a nigga Seeing this and being in love. So are you in love, the Noah Hartway? I've always been in love.
Speaker 2:Oh really.
Speaker 1:With myself.
Speaker 2:You're in love this week.
Speaker 1:Well, I stay in lust with you. Let's not get that twisted.
Speaker 2:I wasn't talking about lust.
Speaker 1:I stay in lust.
Speaker 2:I stay in love. I'm in love with you. Oh, and that ass, you didn't give me the memo.
Speaker 1:Okay, you know what People. This has been the last episode.
Speaker 2:I somehow didn't get that memo. But Alright.
Speaker 1:Hey Booski, how was your week? I'm done.
Speaker 2:I'm good, I'm just teasing you, no, you know whatever. How was your week?
Speaker 1:Fine.
Speaker 2:Really Fine. Tell me about it Elaborate, share and collaborate. How was your week? Fine? Really Fine. Tell me about it, elaborate, share and collaborate. How was your week? Fine Demel.
Speaker 1:Fine, she's, really, she's in the matter of 10 minutes, you guys 10 minutes.
Speaker 2:Yes, we haven't even been recording for 10 minutes.
Speaker 1:Before we record it.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:In this matter of time, she has taken all the energy out of me.
Speaker 2:Oh, my gosh All the energy Because he can't take a joke, but I have to sit here and be a punching bag to take all his jokes.
Speaker 1:First of all, you're not a punching bag.
Speaker 2:It's crazy work. Anywho, how was your week? My week was a week. Okay, it was rough.
Speaker 1:What does that mean? It was long Pause. Why do you?
Speaker 2:keep saying that.
Speaker 1:I'm tired. Okay, therapy was a doozy. Okay, still processing that. Okay, life has been lifin'. Yes, agreed, one problem after the next Agreed my wife's lips have been trash. My lips have been moderate.
Speaker 2:See Now, listen. See Now, my lips have been moderate. See now, listen. See now listen. I'm gonna tell you guys, you're here, you're listening and watching firsthand. You see how he just snuck in there and came for me.
Speaker 1:I didn't come I did nothing.
Speaker 2:It was unprovoked. But if I come for him, his feelings are going to get hurt.
Speaker 1:That's what it is. For some reason tonight I love the lip.
Speaker 2:Thank you, I thought because we had a little breeze the other day.
Speaker 1:Right, but the look is giving auntie.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:I said she looks very mature. Oh thanks, I do. Okay, okay, now I'm going into my very mature oh thanks, I do Okay.
Speaker 2:Okay, now I'm going into my 40 arc. Oh oh, you're so special.
Speaker 1:You're closer to 50 than you are 20.
Speaker 2:What Did you say? Closer to 50 than I am 20? Oh my gosh Finish with your week.
Speaker 1:That was it. It was rough man. Oh okay, I have conversations I have been avoiding. That was it. It was rough man. Oh okay, I have conversations I have been avoiding. Oh so, dr Williams, I doubt you listen to this, but if you do, maybe she might. I have not had those conversations.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, anywho.
Speaker 1:And my daughter remains my biggest op.
Speaker 2:But I love her to death. Okay, she's not his op, but okay she is. Yeah, I had a pretty decent week, but I love her to death. Okay, she's not his op, but okay she is. Um, yeah, I had a pretty decent week.
Speaker 1:she spends all my money she wants she takes all the time with my wife. She's my biggest op that's because okay, anyways go ahead, tell us about your week.
Speaker 2:Come on, let's hear it my week was fine oh god, here we go um, nothing really spectacular to support. Every week get something else for her.
Speaker 1:Come on. Oh gosh, what happened? Tell us what happened.
Speaker 2:You guys should feel like sorry for me let's get to the nitty-gritty.
Speaker 1:Come on what?
Speaker 2:there is no nitty-gritty, I just had like I had a decent week. There was nothing like major to report.
Speaker 1:You lying, you know living your best life, people. I've been waiting seven days to get this off my chest. It's been seven days since we're recording it people out there listening. What my wife does is that she throws me together, slop and then, when I leave for work what are you talking about? Making herself gourmet dishes. Talking about, she made her everything bagel today. Oh my With potatoes, oh my With potatoes, I'm thinking with tomatoes and onion, and the everything bagel, that shit.
Speaker 1:And you left at 6 am this morning when we were all still in the bed, that shit looked fire.
Speaker 2:Then, on top of that, and you don't eat cottage cheese.
Speaker 1:It was full of cottage cheese. Then, on top of that, she now has a partner in crime, which is my daughter. So now when I go to sleep, I'm not here. They enjoy mangoes. They won't share no mangoes with dad, even though dad's paying for these mangoes, but they won't share it with dad, but they'll record themselves slapping the mangoes, but she won't share it with dad. But they'll record themselves flopping the mangoes up and send me videos.
Speaker 1:They'll do that first of all, you just haven't been home to eat the mangoes and I bought an extra mango to cut up just for you I'm not done and then I thought he was done with his week, my wife knowing that I'm on a cut which I'm doing terrible, by the way I am on a cut and he's'm doing terrible at, by the way I am on a cut, and he's not even supposed to be eating the mangoes.
Speaker 1:I am, it's in my macros. She then calls me and say oh, you know what sounds good? Everything sounds good to me right now because I'm hungry, my G Everything sounds good you shouldn't be hungry, though Everything sounds good. Okay, my wife, she stays trying me. She has been doing everything under the sun to let me know that I live a life of maintenance and she lives a life of luxury.
Speaker 2:You know you're going to have to point out this luxurious life, that.
Speaker 1:I live the fact that you don't clock in. That's luxury.
Speaker 2:You're going to have to point that out for me what we got today. I wasn't done with my week.
Speaker 1:You done, no, you made me mad now Be mad.
Speaker 2:Anyways, like I was telling y'all, my week was not, that you know, eventful, it was pretty smooth sailing. If you press that button, I'm going to hit you, I'm going to hit you.
Speaker 1:Why are you so violent?
Speaker 2:My baby made the ukulele club y'all. She was really excited. She's excited to learn music. She said that's one of the biggest reasons that she signed up More bills. It's because she wanted to learn music and so now she's like can we get me a new ukulele?
Speaker 1:So that's been kind of so she wanted a new one. See, I knew it. That's what Y'all. Just Look here. That's another thing. Hold on, I'm not even done.
Speaker 2:Yes, you are done. You are done. You're the only person. Well, I mean, you're the only person that I know but I'm pretty sure there's a lot of others like you who have asked for families and all they do is complain about their families and make their families feel like they're just such a huge burden on their life. That's nice. So you know, but this is the person who wanted a family. So bad, but all he does is complain about having a family.
Speaker 1:I'm getting real sick and tired of her asking me is her child support check hit yet? Oh me, yes Y'all. If my check hit the bank at 12.01, my wife has bought something at 12.02. That's not true, it's like she got the shit in the car waiting. That's not true. Why are you trying to make me out to be like a?
Speaker 2:villain, and then she go get her a cold drink. Oh, I'm going to get me a cold drink, like every day.
Speaker 1:And a smoothie sometimes. Yeah, me and Fee like to go get a smoothie, sometimes a little snacky snack.
Speaker 2:Because you got to have a snack, I picked your daughter up and she was just so hungry she was hungry. She wanted a snack, so we went and got a snack. What's wrong with that? What's the problem with that? Go ahead, let's get into the episode, hi Chee Warriors. Anywho, I was telling the people about my baby and the ukulele club, so she has signed up for the ukulele club so she has signed up for the ukulele club.
Speaker 2:She has been accepted into ukulele club, so we are currently looking at ukuleles and I will keep you guys apprised on how her um development with reading music is coming along. But she's really excited about that so that was a really highlight of my week because she was excited. So therefore mommy was very excited to see her this is how I know people my, my wife why do you keep impeding?
Speaker 2:you said your week was done. You said your week was stressful, overwhelming. You haven't had conversations that you talked to your therapist about, like and you and you were done. And then I start talking about my week and now, all of a sudden, oh, I forgot to say this.
Speaker 1:I forgot to say that because you, you, you trigger memory Ain't nobody triggering nothing, that's just you. And I wasn't going to say anything about my week. I was just going to let the people know that your thigh feels really good right now. Oh my goodness, all this right here. That's good, that's good stuff.
Speaker 2:Okay, stop, stop brimming me. This is a professional setting. Settings, sir, turn off the lights. Okay, okay, so listen, listen, okay, today we're gonna talk about the fantasy marriage draft, the fantasy marriage draft. Oh, we do like pick people like what if you could pick your ideal spouse? Or like the character characteristics that make up the ideal spouse, or things that you're not gonna like my list.
Speaker 1:It's not gonna. I don't, I don't it's your list, it's not, it's not gonna add up to what you are it.
Speaker 2:That has nothing to do.
Speaker 1:It's gonna have a lot of your qualities. I'm just gonna, I'm gonna tweak a few things, okay, like number one, uh-huh, she needs to be at least five, five, because it's five.
Speaker 2:First of all, 5'7", so that's, really crazy, that's really crazy. That's really crazy, that you say that she needs to be 5'5". Because I'm 5'7", I identify as 5'7" and I also have friends who confirm my 5'7 height, so I'm really not sure. But okay, if you want to date someone shorter, okay.
Speaker 1:Short Okay.
Speaker 2:You said that she would have to be 5'5". I'm 5'7", so therefore you're looking for someone shorter.
Speaker 1:Well, my wife is fun size and I love her. Do you? I do love you. Sometimes my back hurts hugging you. I need you to hug me. Oh, my God, I got to get down here to the ground.
Speaker 2:You don't even have to do all that, because half of the time I just want to lay on your chest so you can, like, put your arms up here.
Speaker 1:You just want to lay on my titties Just like a man. Look at you.
Speaker 2:What.
Speaker 1:Always want you to have some titties.
Speaker 2:Okay, goodbye, anyway, okay, what if you could build your perfect spouse from a drafting board?
Speaker 1:Well, number one she's an Eagles fan.
Speaker 2:Okay, but you can determine like the traits values you know, like a dream team, like your fantasy.
Speaker 1:This will be a short episode.
Speaker 2:Why?
Speaker 1:Because you don't need much, because you're not going to fool me. What do you mean? I'm not trying to fool you. My draft board Would have all the qualities Of Kanisha, my wife.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Cause she is perfect. Cause she is perfect.
Speaker 2:Listen, first of all, I'm not gonna take anything Like.
Speaker 1:Offensive.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like you trying to offend me Because I am Because. I am who I am and you married me.
Speaker 1:You chose To marry me First of all, I did who I am and you married me. You chose to marry me First of all. I did not choose to marry you. I was bewitched by that ass.
Speaker 2:Okay, and you chose to be bewitched.
Speaker 1:Just how I've had a beard since third grade, you've had a shelf since I met you.
Speaker 2:A beard since third grade. I can see that this is going to be an unserious I mean it's an unserious topic, but you've had a serious episode a shelf since I met you.
Speaker 1:Oh, is that so? My wife is a. She's my tripod in the gym, oh, my gosh is out there.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'm going to bite it okay, so anyway, we'll be talking about, like the, the I, the fantasy idea okay okay. So like it's, it's your. It's kind of like a steffert type thing. You know what I mean. Like what, however, you want to come up with that, um, and just like your, your ideas, the traits that your ideal wife would have, how your ideal wife, I guess, would like look and speak, and mannerisms and whatever. So I mean, you know it's like a fantasy board.
Speaker 1:Okay, go ahead, you can go first. Why do I have to go first?
Speaker 2:Ladies first. Okay, so I think mine is also.
Speaker 1:Mine would also be kind of drawn off of kind of like where I am now in life, okay, of like where I am now in life, okay, and I guess how I would like to be in the future, if that makes sense. Obviously, guys, I'm under her future, so go ahead.
Speaker 2:First of all, you already exhibit quite a few okay, we'll see.
Speaker 1:Okay, we'll see um.
Speaker 2:I think we'll go, we'll go, we'll go, like one trade for one trade or whatever she said. Guys, she said quite a few, so, uh, maybe frauditon frauditon okay no, so I the basics, like the basic downloaded package damn would be the basic downloaded package. Is someone who is kind? I'm not, you can, you can be kind sometimes um someone who uh empathetically listens I don't do that um, let's see someone who knows how to have fun I'm not that damn.
Speaker 1:It's not.
Speaker 2:I'm over three guys, let's go I'm gonna give you one more and then you can give me your first, like four or whatever. Okay, um, let's see kind have fun, like that kind of someone who's a little bit more spontaneous, which is crazy, because I feel like you don't like?
Speaker 1:I'm not saying that shit.
Speaker 2:But you're not really but when I. But when I say spontaneous, I mean spontaneous like somebody who's intuitive to me, like they know, like me as a person so like they do spontaneous things that they know I would most likely be down for that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Let's go get the pumpkin spice latte and go to home goods perfect.
Speaker 2:See, that would be that would be spontaneous.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's not.
Speaker 2:But not only doing that, but enjoying. Enjoying the experience, that's what I'm saying, I like looking at the cutting board. So they all look the same, they're all wood, no, not that.
Speaker 1:Some are bamboo. Ok, all the ones you look at are like a different type of wood. Ok, whatever.
Speaker 2:OK, go ahead.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean my, the first, my first. Uh, actually, she gotta be clean.
Speaker 2:I can't do no dirty broad not dirty broad I can't do no dirty have you ever come across a dirty broad?
Speaker 1:I've been with you for 24 years, so no, okay, well, actually yes, when we gave birth to one.
Speaker 2:First of all, what you're not going to do is talk about my child First of all. She ain't abroad, she ain't dirty okay, she don't care about dirty stuff, she do.
Speaker 1:I've watched your child go to the bathroom and walk straight out.
Speaker 2:No, well, she has before Well, you, no, well, she has before. Well, you know, like not washing her hands and we have to remind her like.
Speaker 1:Hey, girl like, but she's a kid, I mean that's, that's like 90 but she ain't no broad and she ain't dirty, okay, okay, what else? But what?
Speaker 2:that's only one.
Speaker 1:Oh, um, I would like that. You know she'd probably have to, you know, be uh, five five, not five five number. I'm I'm not really big on height, I just said that to roughly your feathers um, it'd have to be someone that actually listens and like, listens to understand me, uh-huh I don't know what that would be called but and then follows through, uh-huh, um, and then doesn't turn around and, uh, weaponize it okay because you you weaponizing it before okay, that's your opinion so I, you know, like, I want someone that would support me, okay, um, in the way they need to be supported.
Speaker 1:Uh-huh, she also has to have a shelf. Okay, I'm used to the shelf life, so I can't be with anybody who doesn't have a shelf. Okay, like, if that shelf not there, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, um, it's a no for me, okay, um, we gotta have some shared interests, like the eagles, the lakers, the dodgers, and I'm not, I'm not, that's it. Uh, we gotta like things like you know, like, uh, I'm not a craft person.
Speaker 2:You're building your person, not like based off of my traits already.
Speaker 1:I mean yeah right, so I would you know a little into sports, a little light gaming, light anime. That's it Actually when I think about it. If you support my teams, I do support your teams.
Speaker 2:What are you talking about?
Speaker 1:I'm talking hypothetically to the woman I'm trying to create.
Speaker 2:Well, you looked at me and said if you would Support my teams. I'm like I do, support your teams.
Speaker 1:If you, if we were fans Of the same organizations. Okay, if we watched anime together and played video games, I'm happy If she, if she was into Well, I like you.
Speaker 2:Okay, I feel like that's like a given with everybody.
Speaker 1:I'm simple. Oh, and she got to know how to cook.
Speaker 2:Okay, I wouldn't take it that far and say you're simple, but I mean simple in other ways, but not simple how you're trying to portray.
Speaker 1:That's another thing I'm working on, because I be giving my draws up too easy. You be what, giving my draws up too easy to you?
Speaker 1:Okay um, okay, I would, I would, but at the same time, why I would want us to have a lot of similar hobbies. I would still want her to have her own identity and I, she would have to have her own identity, because sometimes it's like, yeah, we can do things together, but sometimes I'm like, look here right, look here now. I want to go out with the fellas, yeah, and talk, guy talk and talk about how old girl, ass or whatever looked good and not be judged. So I mean, it's like you know, so far I feel like she's pretty well-rounded.
Speaker 2:She's pretty so far. I feel like she's pretty well-rounded, she's pretty well-rounded. Okay, so back to my board. I would, for the lack of better verbiage is like someone who is more emotionally intelligent.
Speaker 1:I am over five.
Speaker 2:And when I say like emotional intelligence, someone who knows how to process, like their emotions.
Speaker 1:Right. Not getting mad at you.
Speaker 2:Someone who's like slow to temper or slow to anger.
Speaker 1:Now she comes to me, doesn't have a temper. Now she's coming at me, y'all.
Speaker 2:How am I coming for you?
Speaker 1:Trying to say I got two problems.
Speaker 2:Okay, first of all, I didn't say anything about you. It's like a charcuterie board.
Speaker 1:A charcuterie board.
Speaker 2:A charcuterie board and we're picking out the traits. I love you so much. But you know a charcuterie board and we're pulling out traits. I don't know who said that, but that's what I'll call it from now on A out traits. I don't know who said that, but that's what I'll call it for now a shakuchi board. A shakuchi board? Um yeah, so I guess you did like like I said the emotional intelligence part, and then obviously like I wouldn't. I wouldn't be here if you didn't exhibit some of those things right, so which one of those things I exhibit?
Speaker 1:because, I'm old for six what, what?
Speaker 2:you are kind sometimes, you are not really that spontaneous, so there's that one. What are we talking about?
Speaker 1:We can do it right now.
Speaker 2:I can't stand you. I can't stand you Anywho, but similar to you, he would share some similar interests, also respecting the fact that I do like my space and enjoys having his own space and his own thing. Because you know how I am, Although I love being in partnership.
Speaker 1:I also. I didn't love in partnership.
Speaker 2:She loves being in partnership, but I also like a little independent time.
Speaker 1:I like a little solo date and I've always given you date and I've always you know I like a little I've always given you that myself in a reading corner.
Speaker 2:You know like I can get down with that um or another chapter, oh my gosh uh let's see so, yes, so in shared interests okay, and and shared like shared interests.
Speaker 1:Um, let's see physical attributes oh, no see, here we go, here we go.
Speaker 2:Come on, go ahead physical attributes, I would say someone who's tall. I'll just say tall, which is kind of funny. I know you're gonna say, going to say that, okay, so you are only 5'2". 5'5 is taller than you Listen. Okay, let me break it down In an ideal, like if this was a real Shakuchi board. Look here.
Speaker 1:And I was picking trades off the Shakuchi board. Let the people know I'm not 6 feet tall.
Speaker 2:He's like 5'10".
Speaker 1:I would say but if I put my hokas on, I'm 5'11". I would say like no hold on If I put my hokas on or my own clouds on. I'm 5'11" Okay.
Speaker 2:But I would say for me, like anything between like 6' and 6'3".
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, so how about that?
Speaker 2:6'2", 6'3" and like 2'50", maybe that 250, maybe somewhere a little higher, like two.
Speaker 1:But when I say 250 I mean like yo 250, everything I'm not husky husky, 250, everything I'm not uh, between 250 and like 280.
Speaker 2:But like, see, like stocky boy, you know, to the fellas listening.
Speaker 1:I want y'all to know right now that I've won in life, because I was the nerd that bagged the prom queen and I loved you then, and I love you even more now, see I had nothing going for me in high school, but my brain and I stopped using I had nothing going for me, but my brain okay. Goodbye and I stopped using after high school. So goodbye, it is what it is first of all I love I especially now, especially now I was prom queen.
Speaker 2:And what was I? You're? What do you mean? Nothing, you are bagner. Goodbye. So who won? Goodbye, we both did I won. I feel like we both won the lottery, because you're pretty amazing too I'm great now.
Speaker 1:I didn't peak in high school, I peaked after. That's why I'm great. You've just been great all your life. Okay, that's not true, but okay, you don't know.
Speaker 2:The struggle is okay, anyways, any hoots? Um yeah, so like six between six foot six, three between 250 to 80. Let's see what else. Yeah, athletic, I would like him to be athletic. I'm not athletic at all I would like him to be. Like you know enjoy physical activity. I enjoy physical activity. Okay, babe. I'm not talking about you, though, and you shouldn't be talking about me.
Speaker 2:It's a Shikuchi board and we're picking, we're picking. Uh, why are you winking at me like that? I can't with you. Um, yes, so, yeah, so athletic. I would like for him to like the outdoors, okay, um, let's see what we mean outdoors, like fishing and hunting. Or just like outdoor activities, Hiking oh okay, Like you know, going for a walk.
Speaker 1:I want to go hunting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, hunting camping, I wouldn't mind like I'm not doing camping. I'm not doing camping when the sun starts going down.
Speaker 1:I'm walking back in the truck.
Speaker 2:Well, and when I say camping, you mean glamping? Yeah, Cause I'm. I'm not going to be on the ground in the woods in a tent, I need to be like in an RV, you know, like that type of camping you know Are you done? Okay, go ahead, yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 1:I'm done for right now you're not gonna roll me over and talk about physical attributes. They ain't coming for me nah what are you talking about? I didn't come for you nah, I said they're not coming for me. Who is not coming for you? The comments, um, it don't matter. It don't matter to me if she tall or short, it really don't matter usually that's not a.
Speaker 2:It's not a, yeah that that's not a.
Speaker 1:It's not a. Yeah, I have no problem climbing trees. Bye, turn right now.
Speaker 2:Oh, you know what I feel like here. Hold on, let me say this.
Speaker 1:Let me say this there is a quite a few uh wmba players. I said I will climb that tree.
Speaker 2:I can't no problem, I can't. Well, when you're laying down, you're the same height, so are you?
Speaker 1:yeah, you no. But her feet off the bed, why not? I'd have to be with someone that did have to have empathy. Okay, like kindness in general.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Right, but at the same time can't be played Because I feel like some people are too kind.
Speaker 2:Oh, like their kindness can be used as a weakness Right. Okay, understandable.
Speaker 1:Understandable. Um, they gotta be loyal, gotta be trustworthy. That that's, that's number that's a given. That's a basic download that can't be ran through. What does that mean? You know what that?
Speaker 2:okay. So what's the cap? What's considered a ran through?
Speaker 1:is it five?
Speaker 2:or more? Is it 10 or more? Current cap is zero, so okay, but if we were not together, if we were not together, I I feel like okay, you know what? Like? I feel like this is basically like our version of pop the balloon, okay. So, if so, if we're like pop the balloon, okay, okay. And you asked that question like how many partners have you had? And she's like okay, my whole life I wouldn't ask that question.
Speaker 2:Like five. If it just came up and she's like five, is that ran through to you? Is that too many for you and you have to give? You have to take into account age. So if we're talking like 40 years old, Look here what's ran through.
Speaker 1:I believe that women can do whatever they want with their body Okay, but you said, you don't want someone.
Speaker 2:I was joking, oh okay, so she can have as many partners as Bob. She can.
Speaker 1:Okay, but there's a number in my mind, so what's your number? That's what I'm asking. I don't know.
Speaker 2:I'm old school. They're going to say I'm old school, matter, what's your number? It's probably like more than five, I probably. Nah, okay, even if she's in her 40s, yeah, you might be single for a while, that's fine, I'm fine.
Speaker 1:I'm fine, you might be single for a while, um, she'd, she'd have to have been driving ambition. Okay, that that, I think that's that, I think that's that is that is a really, really, uh, underappreciated thing. Uh-huh, I do feel like I don't want to, I wouldn't, I couldn't be with someone with no driver ambition where I just feel like I'm carrying more weight. Uh-huh, that, that I couldn't do. Uh-huh, um, you know, she's had to know how to cook because I like to eat. Lord knows I like to eat. These are the cocktails right now. Um, again, like, so, height wouldn't matter, okay. Um, we just. Okay, I'm gonna just go do body parts, okay.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna just go do body parts okay, my favorite part of of one of them is is thighs and ass mm-hmm, so I mean she gotta them. Is thighs and ass Mm-hmm, so she's got to have nice thighs and ass, okay. And she's got to look good in a sundress.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And I do like a woman that can rock a pineapple.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Oh, she had to be black too.
Speaker 2:I was just about to say, sir, are we talking about like oh?
Speaker 1:yeah, she had to be black.
Speaker 2:You said pineapple, so okay you know, excuse me.
Speaker 1:I mean she don't have to have big boobs, that's not a negative, okay. I mean I love the grapes, I love the melons, oh my gosh what the hell dude?
Speaker 2:what? What's wrong? Nothing.
Speaker 1:I'm just saying I can't, that's, that's not in her control. Yeah, you know so. Yeah, I mean, but I mean physical appearance wouldn't weigh as heavy as like, who she is inside. I am one of those people, okay that's good.
Speaker 2:I am one of those people.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's good. I am one of those people who are like I. I see like I can like pick up on personalities. I can see how this, like you, may not be my type, like physically at all, like visually at all, yeah, but our personality would match very well and I could and I'd probably you can, you but okay.
Speaker 1:but to say that you you're not like physically or visibly attracted at all, but her personality is so damn good, but the personality, the personality will make you Eventually, the personality will open your eyes and you would find beauty in her.
Speaker 2:OK, yeah, because I was like that's a long time to write off personality, so I've been doing it for 20 years. You have not Get your whole life together. Get your whole entire life together. Get your whole life together. Um what? 20 years goodbye, hey what?
Speaker 1:20 years. Okay, I don't know what we're talking about what nothing, nothing, I'm just talking.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you are Okay, so mine would be like it doesn't matter, I'm your perfect guy.
Speaker 1:You are my perfect guy, you're perfect for me, because you're not getting nobody else You're perfect for me At the end of the day.
Speaker 2:But if I had to go back out there in them streets?
Speaker 1:That's the thing.
Speaker 2:I'm fine with that.
Speaker 1:If I'm not 60 under, the only way you're in the streets is because you're going down the street in a hearse. Okay, we're locked in, ain't no switching up, I know, I know that, so I don't even know how you want to do this.
Speaker 2:Me, me. You're the one that said you gave me the option.
Speaker 1:You're the one that said you gave me the option you're the one that said let's play, let's play fantasy marriage draft.
Speaker 2:You said that I thought. And then when you get what you asked for, then you don't like. Always when he gets what he asked for, he never likes it and then he complains about it. I thought we'd be more like qualities babe, it's a fantasy draft, so it's whatever you would like it to be. So what more qualities would you pick off the shakuchi board for your person? No, I'm not going to say it, no more, no, what qualities.
Speaker 1:She would say shakuchi board. Would I ask her to do?
Speaker 2:What qualities Someone who's kind?
Speaker 1:respectful God-fearing.
Speaker 2:Okay, now you sound like Popping Balloon Likes to travel. I don't know, wait Someone who's God-fearing, who's kind, who likes to travel. I don't go, wait Someone who's God-fearing, who's kind, who likes to travel? I don't go wait to see how long it took you to catch me. It's like at this point it's probably on a cue card or something. It's probably on a damn cue card.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:I'm going to go. So, someone who is reliable and consistent, someone who doesn't just do grand gestures, but someone who is consistent on the day to day. I don't do grand gestures at all. Yeah, we know Wow.
Speaker 1:Wow, hold on. Let's dissect this. Hold on now.
Speaker 2:Keeping promises.
Speaker 1:I try.
Speaker 2:Following through I try. I think that's the biggest thing for me, especially for a man If you say something you're going to do do it, do it, that's right. Follow through with it.
Speaker 1:Even if you can't find your spacers.
Speaker 2:I mean get it done because you said you would, and we're already a year and two days.
Speaker 1:Not a year and two days. Not a year and two days.
Speaker 2:A year and two days into you putting up one little measly pegboard that I have asked for. But somehow he managed to put up his pegboard when he didn't even want the pegboard in the first place. But he put his up, the one he didn't want, and hasn't put mine up, the one who actually bought the pegboard, who needs it.
Speaker 1:I can't find my. I digress.
Speaker 2:I can't find my, not sure how we went off on a tangent.
Speaker 1:I can't find my spacers.
Speaker 2:Anywho, someone who would be supportive during tough times. Someone who has good life management skills.
Speaker 1:I think that's important. I am out, I am, I am out. I think that's important, I am out, I am out, I am out. People, my wife has shown me today what I have nothing else to say. I have nothing else to say. What do you mean? My wife has shown me today that I am not you don't have good life management skills. I'm not her type, you don't have good life management skills.
Speaker 2:Babe, I like to think that you have good management skills.
Speaker 1:Why would you think you don't have good life?
Speaker 2:management skills. Oh gosh, okay, all right, he's done. Then Okay, alright, he's dumbing.
Speaker 1:I mean so Okay. So how many, how many of those Characteristics of Ulysses Do you think I have?
Speaker 2:I think you have good Life management skills.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:They have definitely Gotten better. What percentage? What do you mean? What percentage Of?
Speaker 1:everything Ulysses.
Speaker 2:Probably, like I don't know, 70. Wow, 70 is really high.
Speaker 1:That's 30 shy of 100 but if you only have 70 protection on your home, is it still high? Really, is it still high if you, is it still high?
Speaker 2:If you only have 70% protection on your own.
Speaker 1:What the hell Is it still high? I?
Speaker 2:feel like you're all over the place. Is it still high? You're all over the place.
Speaker 1:I feel like you are a good 95% of my list, oh, except for the tall part, but I don't really care about that part. I mean, I'm 5'7", so but you won't rock a pineapple for me, even though you can. I do rock a pineapple, but you don't do it often I don't do it.
Speaker 2:I don't do it often anymore because my hair is not the same anymore either. Gotta trade this model in. See what happens. I mean, it comes with age too, so I don't know what you want me to tell you. And plus, I look like I'm 19 or like trying to be like a teenager when I wear my hair like that.
Speaker 1:You can't let other people think what you like. If I like it, it's not about what they think.
Speaker 2:I said I look, but if I like it, what's the matter? Okay, okay, demel, I can see you're done. Now what are you talking about? You're done, we're going to hop right into Wait. Wait, we're not, we are.
Speaker 1:Hold on close to me. What are you doing? I haven't had much sleep this week, okay, okay, tell me what. Before we go into our two cents, we're gonna go into the comments of the week. Oh gosh, okay, okay. So the first comment of the week oh, mind you, my list was 100% my wife, um, I'm done. The first comment of the week um comes from. I want to say, uh, flaming. Oh, I don't know, is that flaming over? I don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, uh, flamingo, flamingo, oh flamingo lover that's what that means, oh lord people are creative with their numbers.
Speaker 1:It comes from and it's a fling on the bio. Is this come from for a flamingo lover? And this is a base off of the.
Speaker 2:The reaction to the wig debate about how oh, about the um, the white boy dating a black girl and he don't want her to wear her wigs and makeup her comment was that the son needs to stay out of the chocolate pool if he can't handle the variety of flavors.
Speaker 1:Um and when I saw, when I read this, I laughed immediately, because I always told my wife having a black woman is like being married to 10 different women, because she, she can change that hair and be a completely different person, whole different personality.
Speaker 2:because even getting ready, like to record, I was like, should I wear my hair down and curly? Should I put it up in a ponytail? Should I put a head wrap on? Like, what should I do? You're right, you're right.
Speaker 1:And then the second comment comes from Janelle.
Speaker 2:Just Janelle.
Speaker 1:I can't say her last name. Okay, I don't know. I don't really remember what oh this is from. This is the comment, from the reaction to where. I believe, it's where the wife, lord Jesus, which one? It's from last week, where the I want to say the it was a husband and the wife and the the stay-at-home mom agreement. Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 2:So he married this woman married a man who had two kids from a previous marriage. No, it's not that one.
Speaker 1:I think it's the honeymoon one, anyway, it don't matter. The comment was Jesus could hand-deliver me a man, and I would say no, thank you, amen. And I laughed.
Speaker 2:Because she's just done with men altogether she said it don't matter if he good or not. I'm going to say no, thank you, jesus. I'm going to go at it alone. I'm going to go at it alone.
Speaker 1:No, thank you Jesus. She said that the Lord himself Could deliver. Could hand deliver. Hand deliver Her man, okay, hand deliver, hand deliver her man.
Speaker 2:Okay, what's the next one? That's it okay, so then we'll just go right on into R2-6. R2-6 okay, let's see, um, this one is uh, just found out that I have a daughter that I didn't know about, and I need some advice damn, just keep acting like you don't know about her um. I'm 56 years old.
Speaker 2:Three kids Well, four now, I guess. And just got a Facebook message from a 40-year-old woman who matched with me on Ancestrycom. Okay, so he's 56 and she's four. Okay, I went and checked my account and she is sure as shit, it's a match. When I was 16, I had a short thing with a 26 year old. I worked with.
Speaker 2:Damn. She left shortly after and I never heard from her again. That's wild. 16 and she was 26. That's wild. Just trying to figure this out. She wants me, she wants to meet me and, to be honest, I do want to meet her. I'm just trying to figure out how to tell my wife and kids. At this point. Just some information Apparently, her mom passed last year and she, my new daughter, has no family, as it was just her and her mom. She lives about two hours away, so logistically is not an issue. Really just wondering how to tell my wife about this. I'm not expecting a horrible reaction, but it is a bit of anxiety inducing. Need advice.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's it. Yeah, sorry, just tell her.
Speaker 2:Just tell her it's something that happened when you were 16. Hold on my boy.
Speaker 1:Hold on, hold on, hold on. First of all, I want to say congrats for bagging a 26 year old at 16. I want to say congrats. That's all Salute to that, but you were 16. She was 26. She was doing some shit she wasn't supposed to do. That's why you didn't know about the baby, because had the truth come out, some other shit would have came out. Oh, yeah, that would have been yeah, some other shit would. Yeah. That's why she just went on butter business and raised her baby Because how do you?
Speaker 2:explain your baby daddy being 16 and you 26?.
Speaker 1:It's clearly something she just decided to take to her grave.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So honestly, I feel like if this is your child, you should just get to know her, communicate, tell your wife If your wife should be understanding and your kids might be happy to have a much older sibling, maybe Because she got to be older.
Speaker 2:Well, he's 56 and she's 40.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Like I said yeah, so that means either, that means.
Speaker 2:I mean, we don't know if he had his next child at 18 or 20 or what If he's 56 and she's 40.
Speaker 1:That's only 16 years. That mean he, that mean old girl got pregnant when he was 15, probably or he started messing with her when he just turned 16 yeah, but he said I'll be trying to tell people that women can be predators too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they actually yeah I don't know why people would think they can, but they absolutely I've never had the dodge one.
Speaker 1:I guess I'm just ugly, but they can be predators too.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:My wife doesn't abuse me.
Speaker 2:I'm going to move on. Okay, this one is. This was sent. This was sent to us by one of our listeners. Let's see. Am I the asshole for popping up on my significant other for not honoring a time she committed to Backstory?
Speaker 2:My partner went out to brunch with her best friend early on a Sunday. They went out at 11. At three I called and asked is five good for me and my partner to hang out, because at eight she had to do homework and I was watching the Ravens game with her family? To which on the phone she replied I will let you know. I'm not sure, but I'll keep you updated. You know I'm not sure, but I'll keep you updated. But then ended the conversation with five should be good. You can see me at five. So I'm like cool.
Speaker 2:So I call at 430, 440 PM just to check and see if the, if she needed a few more minutes over five and if I was picking them up because they had Ubered. My partner says my friend wants to hang out longer. So her friend wanted to hang out longer. I'm slightly irritated and I ask okay, so 530. She says I don't know about that. We may want to do something after. At this point. I'm pissed.
Speaker 2:I made plans and I wanted to surprise her. I then asked so you're not seeing me? She said no, I don't see this particular friend that often, so she wanted to hang out with her friend. So I say I'm going to pull up and then she hangs up. Later on I tried to talk to her and she basically tells me that she thought about breaking up with me because I ended up pulling up on her and the girl overheard the conversation that we were having and started laughing. She felt embarrassed and that her friend heard and now has an opinion about me. I regret popping up on her, but am I the asshole for wanting to spend time and have the time honored? She said that it wasn't set in stone, but you knew I wanted time with you and you said it was fine. Am I the?
Speaker 1:asshole. Are you an asshole for wanting to spend time with her?
Speaker 2:No, Are you the asshole for popping up on her For?
Speaker 1:how you went about it. Yes, here's why I say that. I'm not disagreeing with you, but Two things. If you know that your girlfriend whatever is seeing someone that she does not see, often meaning like she's not going to be able, it's different if it's like.
Speaker 2:Her everyday girlfriend. She see her everyday. That's different yeah.
Speaker 1:If this is someone that she has not seen often, whether you had a surprise for her or not, I for her or not, I personally feel like you should have delayed that, because this is a person that she obviously wants to spend time with, too.
Speaker 2:Wants to spend time with.
Speaker 1:And she gets to see you throughout the week. Now you popping up on her, like you, her parent going to school, trying to catch her. Do some shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was going to say are you trying to catch her?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I can see that. So that part, I think, is wild. Yeah, also I'm sorry that the ravens lost the way they did oh my gosh um, uh go eagles, uh go birds, um. But at the same time yeah, I don't, it's I honestly at this point, I think this is a situation where you have to take accountability for your, for your role in this yeah I think I understand that a lot of times us as men, we get in our feelings because he had a surprise for her.
Speaker 1:He probably had the whole evening mapped out Us as men we get in our feelings, we don't know how to deal with them and oftentimes we end up doing shit we regret doing. And unfortunately for you, my man, it seems like this is some shit you regret doing.
Speaker 2:Because now.
Speaker 1:I fucked around one day and got married.
Speaker 2:She's thinking about breaking up with you. What I messed around. One day I got married. Bye to bill, good damn bye. But yeah, so I don't. I don't think you're an asshole for wanting to spend time with her. So I agree there. And yes, I do think that the action of you popping up on her um was a little ass hole, like um, because for one you knew where she was and when you and when you pop up, like what do?
Speaker 2:you expect, yeah, what do you expect what's gonna be the outcome? Are you gonna pop up on her and be like, hey, I'm here, you told me five o'clock and it's five o'clock, so let's go. You, you're not her father, like you're not her father. That would turn anybody off, because what is the point of you popping?
Speaker 1:up. Let me say say this as a man, I don't have a lot of experience with women. I've only been with a couple, this one for a long time. But one thing I know that is true across all women is women don't want to be embarrassed. Once you embarrass them, you're on the shit list they look at you different?
Speaker 2:You're on the shit list.
Speaker 1:It's just like old boy at the Coldplay concert. It wasn't that he was cheating, you embarrassed me in front of the world, you embarrassed her In front of the world.
Speaker 2:So now you got to pay. Now you got to pay. So that's where I can put up with a lot of things.
Speaker 1:So, honestly, my guy, were you messed up or were you embarrassed her? If you wouldn't embarrass her, she probably y'all probably could have talked about this and moved on, and moved on. But now she's embarrassed.
Speaker 2:But now she contemplating now she's like you know what, maybe you're not the one for me, because if you're willing to go through these lengths and then have people talking about me because you pop it up, like you, my daddy because my thing, my thing, I'm like I was like, okay, I guess she had to study.
Speaker 1:so I guess'all y'all young or younger, I said, what if she had work and she had to work overtime? You don't believe it. You don't pop at her job.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely not. You're already exhibiting behaviors that I can't, I can't, I can't deal with, but I do appreciate the fact that you want to spend time with me. So bad, you know, like that part, why that shit fire, okay, bye alright.
Speaker 2:So this has been another episode of the Life After I Do podcast. If you're not doing so already, don't forget to like, follow, comment, share, do all of the things. Follow us on our social media pages at Life After I Do podcast, facebook, instagram, tiktok and YouTube. Don't forget, you can write into the podcast at lifeafteridopodcast at gmailcom If you have any stories you'd like for us to read. You can remain anonymous. You can also hit us up on Instagram, shoot us a DM, but you get new episodes every Wednesday and we appreciate you guys for rocking with us and until next time. Peace, booskies, peace booskies, peace booskies.
