Double Tap, Double Standard

Double-tapping into digital infidelity? In this episode, we go deep on one of the hottest topics in modern relationships: social media boundaries.

When is liking a photo harmless, and when is it crossing the line? We unpack why these small online actions can spark big real-life conflicts—from territorial behavior to unspoken invitations.

We share raw, unfiltered takes on intention versus perception, why respecting your partner’s comfort matters, and how to navigate tricky online interactions in marriage.

Plus, our “Our 2 Cents” segment on workplace gossip and roommate privacy makes you question: where do you draw your digital lines?

👉 Follow us everywhere: Life After I Do Podcast on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and Facebook.

Transcript

The Challenge of Pursuing Married Partners

Speaker 1 0:00

You know how some men like to try to pounce on married women because it's a challenge. Women do the same exact thing and there are women, okay, who will be. Some could be jealous of what they think you have, and some women could play it like it's a game where you think, oh, you think he faithful to you. Oh, you think you know you got it like that, Let me show you because he likes to you. Oh, you think you know you got it like that. Let me let me show you, Cause he likes all my photos and I promise you, if I respond to one of his comments or if I shoot him a DM, I got your nigga. Hey, everyone, welcome back to your weekly dose of life after I do podcast.

Speaker 2 0:58

hello, it's me I've been wondering if, after all these years, you liked me To go over everything.

Speaker 1 1:11

Stop, stop.

Speaker 2 1:12

You know, I love Miss Madele.

Speaker 1 1:14

Hey guys, it's me. You know I love Miss Madele. I'm Aisha and I'm Reese. Hey, booskies, hi, how was your week? It was good. Go ahead and tell the people.

Speaker 2 1:24

Tell the people what they weekly update all your gym shenanigans.

Speaker 1 1:27

Oh my gosh, you make this a thing, by the way, I don't. I mean, you keep it going, I don't, but if you insist, I got me a little soda, soda, soda, oh my gosh. Yeah, everything's good. I had a good week.

Speaker 2 1:40

Hold on.

Speaker 1 1:42

It's zero sugar calm down I don't think they cared that much. I don't really think they care. Um, I had a good week. It wasn't bad. Nothing, nothing negative to report, I guess I should say how are your? Lips um like out of 10, I would give this week's lifts a solid 7.5.

Speaker 2 2:08

Like a 7.5, 8. How was your weeks outside of your lifts? Good, you look good. Thanks, what else? Was it a good week?

Speaker 1 2:16

Yeah, it was a good week, you know still in summer mode with the kids preparing for camp Been getting everything together for that. Like you know, me and and mom duties got to spend time with my cousins um over the weekend. That was really great.

Speaker 2 2:29

My life too. That was really great. I said, babe, is this like? Is this like a family thing or is like a cousin thing? Because I'm not getting together, I'm not trying to be around too many ovaries. Oh my god, you know I have an ovary limit and you know that your wife has a family. So, yeah, so that was the only you came with your family I was, you were not.

Speaker 1 2:53

Who was there?

Speaker 2 2:55

my nephew's son oh my god I mean my cousin's son are you our, our, our little cousin, that was seven. Yes, again. I say I was the only man there, okay.

Speaker 1 3:07

He is a young man.

Speaker 2 3:10

He's a child, he's a young man. He's a child.

Speaker 1 3:14

Yeah, but so that was fun. That was really fun, because I missed my cousins, I miss my little cousins. I miss my kid being around her cousins.

Speaker 2 3:22

Y'all too much. When y'all get together, y'all be doing the most. My kid being around her cousins, y'all too much. When y'all get together, y'all be doing the most.

Speaker 1 3:27

It's a fun time we doing the most. It's a fun time.

Speaker 2 3:30

When you're around family. That you like. Right Key point that you like.

Speaker 1 3:36

It's a fun time. How much time?

Speaker 2 3:38

you got. I listen to what I don't like.

Speaker 1 3:41

But yeah, outside of that gym was good Home, life was good home life was good.

Speaker 2 3:45

That's good. How was your week? My week was great until today. Okay, you know why. You know. Look here first of all. You know they. First of all the job messed up on my check, okay that always sucks and at first I was mad, but then I was like that doesn't mean I ain't got to work tomorrow. That's not what that meant.

Speaker 1 4:05

That's exactly what that meant. That's what that translates to in your head. That means I go ahead.

Speaker 2 4:12

Because they got to make up my pay and I don't want my check to be too much. The Uncle Sam wins. We don't need Uncle Sam to win more than what he's already winning, that's true. So I'll say you know what? That's good, I'll just take it easy and then you know. To whoever stole my shaker cup today Are you sure somebody stole your shaker?

Speaker 1 4:28

cup and you just didn't leave it at a different station.

Speaker 2 4:30

Whoever stole my shaker cup today? Your mama's a hoe. She giving out bevel team rubs in the bathroom Walking Figueroa Street. Oh my, and your daddy got 20 years of life and he's somebody bottom bitch.

Speaker 1 4:46

Oh wow, all this because he thinks someone stole his shit. I know somebody did.

Speaker 2 4:51

I know somebody did, because it's all them, goddamn teenagers.

Speaker 1 4:53

There wasn't even that many teenagers in there. Oh my God it was.

Speaker 2 4:57

It was, and there's one kid, the way he was lifting on the Smith machine, I said, look here. I normally don't say nothing to people. I let them do what they do.

Speaker 1 5:06

But you're trying to take your whole back and neck off.

Speaker 2 5:08

I said look here. I said you're doing yourself a disservice, you're going to hurt yourself, you're going to pop your elbow out of place. I've never seen somebody lock out as hard as he was locking out. I said you're going to hurt yourself. And then he was slamming against his chest. I said look, you're doing too much.

Speaker 1 5:29

I said first of all, you're going to have to lower your weight, okay, cause you're doing too much. So I think okay. So when I went to the gym with my nephew when we were at my sister's house uh, what was it last month, right? And we went to the gym and so he did my workout and he was like auntie, he was like you want to do some bench? And I was like, oh dang, like today's not my real upper day, I was like, but you know, I'll acquiesce. And so he wanted to do some bench, right? So I said, kamari, have you bench pressed? And he was like, yeah, yeah, I have. I was like, look, I know my nephew got a little time under his belt, but he still don't strike me as the one that was out on the yard bench pressing.

Speaker 2 6:07

So I was like he might be just a push-up and a pull-up.

Speaker 1 6:10

Great at that. Body weight is perfect for that. So I was like I said okay, kamari, we'll do some bench. So I said well, how much do you bench? And he was like what you mean?

Speaker 3 6:20

And I was like okay, that was the first red flag.

Speaker 1 6:22

That was the first red flag. I said, kamari, how much do you bench Like, how much do you want me to put on the barbell? And I was like, do you start at 135? Do you start at 95? He was like, well, I just know the plates, like the plates. And I said, okay, do you use a big plate, the 45s, or do you use, like, the mediums, the 25s, the 35s or whatever? And he was like, oh, I can do those, the big plates. And I said, okay, so we're going to do one on each side. So we'll start at 135. And he was like okay, so I put the 135 on there, right, and so I'm looking at him set up. And I was like, why are you setting up like that? And he was like, that's how you do it goes. Have you ever seen prison shows?

Speaker 1 7:02

oh god okay and I said, yes, kamari, I have seen prison shows. He was like have you ever seen them? Bench press yes, kamari. I said, but that's, that's really a whole different. I said I said, okay, so that's where this is coming from. So when you said that, I was like and you said he kept slamming it on his chest, I said oh, he saw the prison show.

Speaker 2 7:27

I said he's gonna hurt himself.

Speaker 1 7:28

I said you don't have a lot of chest to start with, so you probably shouldn't be slamming it like that.

Speaker 2 7:38

You can hurt yourself, yeah, but I mean on all the good week you know, preparing, like you said, preparing for camp and all that shenanigans.

Speaker 1 7:48

The shenanigans.

Speaker 2 7:49

Right Only when we come back on to shenanigans. I'm not looking forward to the heat.

Speaker 1 7:53

Yeah, I'm not looking forward to the heat, but I am looking forward Like I like checking out new gyms. So I am kind of looking forward to seeing like Speaking of new gyms.

Speaker 2 8:01

I might be looking for one, because after the mother who stole my cup said that, oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 8:05

No one stole your cup, dude. What probably happened was is that you left it at one of the machines, and if it's a person that's like I, you know usually.

Speaker 3 8:15

I would probably take it to the front. They kept my cup.

Speaker 1 8:17

Other times. I mean, you know, I'm not admitting to anything, but some people throw your stuff in the trash.

Speaker 2 8:23

I will say this. I will say this. So, after I realized my cup was missing, I was already-.

Speaker 1 8:30

That's not how your day started wrong, though I was already irritated. Yeah, I was going to say you got to start from the top.

Speaker 2 8:35

I was irritated from the top today. Okay. Started from the top. First. The dog got me dirty and I didn't have no more workout clothes. This is my life. I said God damn it. Then the gym was crowded. It took me literally 40 minutes to get through three movements. I said look here.

Speaker 1 8:50

It's not where you wanted to be. School needs to be back in ASAP.

Speaker 2 8:53

Because I don't know where, and I think I texted y'all and said we are never coming at this time again. This is ridiculous. I said, if I got to go off, one hour of sleep.

Speaker 1 9:01

But at like 1045, 11 o'clock clears out.

Speaker 3 9:08

That's what I told you.

Speaker 1 9:12

You either get there at like 7 or 8, or you get there at 11.

Speaker 2 9:14

And that's what I'm telling you If we can't be there at 7, we'll be waiting until 11. Yeah, because I'm not doing that today, that's fine what I did today. I'm not doing that again. I I'm not doing that again. I prefer to get there early. Now, when I was going early my 4.30, 5 am crew we understood each other, okay, we knew that we had jobs to get to and we was out of.

Speaker 1 9:32

You can still go at that time, and we was out of each other's way. You can still go at that time. But this new, these new news.

Speaker 2 9:41

I don't know you can still go. At that time I almost Went looking for the LA Fitness guy that was trying to give me free seven days.

Speaker 1 9:46

I mean, you do have a free seven days there, and his selling point was it's not as busy over there Not anymore. We like, we know. That's why y'all giving us seven day passes.

Speaker 2 9:56

Right.

Speaker 1 9:57

We understand. That's why you're giving us seven day passes.

Speaker 2 9:59

What we got today Blue Skies.

Speaker 1 10:01

We have a reaction to a clip that I came across.

Speaker 2 10:07

Are you playing the clip?

Speaker 1 10:08

Yeah.

Gym Frustrations and Missing Shaker Cup

Speaker 2 10:09

Okay, well, we're going to need you to connect, we're going to play the clip. You can play the clip here.

Speaker 1 10:14

Okay, let's see. Yeah, so it's a I mean and it's something that we have like hit on before, as far as when it comes to relationships and social media, especially like marriages and, more importantly, men liking other women's shit.

Speaker 2 10:38

Does it matter who it is? What do you mean? No, I'm just saying that.

Speaker 1 10:42

Goodbye, doesn't, matter who it is. I can't like my sister's propose. Is she a girl?

Speaker 2 10:47

Yeah, I'm just saying that Goodbye. Doesn't matter who it is. I can't let my sisters propose Is she a?

Speaker 1 10:51

girl yeah, no, okay, damn, I played myself. I'm teasing, but it's one of those things that keep coming up. I feel like, no matter how often it's talked about, it's still something that keeps coming up. Everybody still has an opinion about it. Everybody still wants to put their two cents in on everybody. It's still a thing like, no matter how many times it's talked about, it's still a thing in relationship and in marriage. I, I mean, I'll let you know what my views are on them, on it but I do think that there are different rules. You know, I won't say like drastically different rules, but I, I personally feel, won't say like drastically different rules, but I personally feel, as though, that there are different rules when it comes to Before we get too deep in this episode.

Speaker 2 11:29

is this an episode where you finish trying to tell me about myself? We ain't had one of those in a long time. What are you talking about? You know because every now and again you come up with a topic because you, that is all in your head.

Speaker 1 11:41

Okay, no, it's not. Yeah, it is. Go check the comments. I'll check the comments. People don't live with you on a daily basis, so the comments mean nothing to me. They don't know what you are like on a daily basis.

Speaker 3 11:55

You know what Play the clip Roll the clip, so they can say what they want.

Speaker 2 11:58

Roll the clip. The number one question that you want to talk about Should your partner be liking other women's posts on IG?

Speaker 3 12:06

No, I don't think they should. I don't think that you should be liking, like you said. Oh so I can't like my friends, but 90% of the women, 99% of the women you follow are not your friends. On Instagram Like it's, it's like because of and this is what she said, and this is like so factual that men don't get it. When you do that, when your man likes this girl's picture not you personally, joe Schmo likes her picture that woman then because I'm a woman and we know how women are are then thinking to themselves is he happy? Why is he liking my picture? And then you're going to share it with your friend. Hey, look, guess who just liked my picture? But he's married. What do you think about their marriage? And then, like you said, all this little talk goes on behind the scenes just because you liked a picture.

Speaker 2 12:55

This is how crazy women are the number one that now that part was funny.

Speaker 1 13:00

He was like this is how crazy women are. That's crazy, why that is? Explain to me why you think that's crazy.

Speaker 2 13:06

That's crazy. Explain to me why you think that's crazy. Essentially, what I got from the clip is he's saying that don't do it from a vanity point of view.

Speaker 1 13:15

Don't do what Like pictures.

Speaker 2 13:16

Yeah.

Speaker 1 13:17

Like photos and videos.

Speaker 2 13:18

Because what could be perceived by another individual? That's wild to me what do you mean?

Speaker 1 13:26

like like explain that into further detail for me, for instance, let's say I like someone's picture.

Speaker 2 13:32

Okay, right, and obviously the whole world knows I'm married because all I do is talk about your ass right. So if I like someone's picture, she's going to assume that we're not happy because I like their picture she. So now she's going to go talk to her friends and girl. They must not be happy over there she. She must be doing something wrong because he's out here looking at other women.

Speaker 1 13:51

That's not crazy at all, that is.

Speaker 2 13:53

Do I not have eyes.

Speaker 1 13:54

Let me ask you a question.

Speaker 2 13:55

Let me ask you Do I have eyes, can I?

Speaker 1 13:57

ask you a question.

Speaker 2 13:58

You can ask all the questions I want or you want.

Speaker 1 14:00

Let's say, I'll just use the gym for an and you and I are working out together, Okay, and there are really attractive men constantly passing by, Okay, Okay, how comfortable would you be with me constantly telling you how attractive like they are as they pass by, If we're working out together and we're like talking, we're having a conversation, and he walks by and I go oh, I like him babe.

Speaker 3 14:33

He's handsome, and then?

Speaker 1 14:34

we talking and we working out. I'm like, oh babe, you see what he wore.

Speaker 2 14:38

You see what he got on. You're equating that to a like.

Speaker 1 14:42

But listen. But here's the thing. The reason why you're not is because you're sitting behind a keyboard, ok, but you also have to think about when you are, when you hit that like button. What makes you hit a like button in general and I'm not now, I'm like in general, not even just saying if you see a beautiful woman what causes you to be like? Okay, you can look at stuff all day. I can look at stuff all day and just scroll without ever liking anything. And think about how often you scroll without liking something right.

Speaker 1 15:11

All the time. So what is it about your brain and about what you're seeing that's being reflected to you that made you go that extra step to like it? So if you don't think, about it that deep. You don't think about it that deep because it does go a little deeper.

Speaker 2 15:28

Can I ask her a question? Go ahead, the one thing I will. First of all, I don't like much, okay. So you got to really be doing some stuff, or you got to make me. If you make me laugh, you get a like Okay, I don't care what the reason is Okay, but now we're talking about women's photos and videos and stuff. Yeah, but you don't, but here's, but here's the thing. But you can tell that I watch them because obviously because it's being because, it's showing.

Speaker 2 15:53

Yes, so I might. I might not like it, but I sit there and watch the whole okay video, or I watched it long enough for the other one to think, oh, he is he likes, he likes this, right, but okay, so well for you personally.

Speaker 1 16:05

okay, what is making you not hit like? Is it because you think it's an inappropriate thing to do? Because you're a married man? Do you think no?

Speaker 2 16:14

that's just me being petty.

Speaker 1 16:16

What do you no?

Speaker 2 16:17

It really is. No, I only like when it comes to social media. Like I said, if you make me laugh, I'm like.

Speaker 1 16:24

Okay, what if she half naked and still making you laugh?

Speaker 2 16:26

You gonna give her a like oh no, half naked and still making you laugh, you gonna give?

Speaker 1 16:29

her a like oh no, but she has naked. No, no, okay, but why so? What part of you won't like a woman that you are clearly looking at that you find very attractive, like she posted a typical ig photo and you look at it and you're a man, right, no one holds that against you. But you look at it and you like damn, you know she look good, but you don't hit like why do you not hit like?

Speaker 2 16:49

because instagram will tell my friends I like it. They snitching on me and who's one of your friends because you, of course, because there's been, there's been, there's been instances where there's been reels I liked and no look here there's been reels I've liked because I thought they were funny and there's been a women.

Speaker 2 17:09

It was funny because I thought they were funny and there's been a women it was funny like, and. But then of course it comes across my sister's timeline and she then she'll screenshot me. It's like oh, I'm telling on your ass what you doing. I said did you watch the video? Did you look at the context?

Speaker 1 17:22

of the video?

Speaker 2 17:23

no, no, because my sister-in-law have my back so I do it to avoid the stress of Having to explain why you hit the like button On the Ask Naked Woman video.

Speaker 1 17:34

But you know I watch them, I know you watch them. I've watched them with you, that part, I know you watch them, especially the ones we talk about when?

Should Your Partner Like Others' Posts?

Speaker 2 17:44

they be thinking they be eating and they don't. This ain't it?

Speaker 1 17:50

Okay, but.

Speaker 2 17:51

But hold on, it's like you know. So, like a homegirl I don't know her name, but homegirl who's on her weight loss journey and she say, like those things about the gym every day, um, like, like she has said, the one with the clapbacks not. Oh, I like, she's my favorite. I like all the two, the two, the two, the clapbacks. I like all this stuff because they be dying laughing.

Speaker 2 18:13

I follow, I follow cranny. I don't like. I don't like none of cranny stuff. But if it's cranny and spole together, you'll like it. I like it. Yeah, right, um, but the girl is I don't know what, but she was like there's no, if your back is big, you don't get a rest day. Not tony, fine, but she's like, she's kind of like a version of tony. But I like all her videos because literally I every time I see one of her videos, it makes me laugh and they're like let me, let me go a little harder today, because I don't deserve a rest okay, but that's different, but it's like I'm saying.

Speaker 2 18:42

But to your point, if, if you're talking about just liking, like just random, I don't just say instagram models, instagram baddies have, because that's that's pretty much what they are referring to the.

Speaker 2 18:57

The thing about that is that I don't follow any of those people, so only time I see that is when I'm either going down my explore page or something's been sent to me. I don't follow. I only really follow um on instagram. I mostly follow people I know or people I'm connected through. Either through this I don't follow. I only really follow on Instagram. I mostly follow people I know or people I'm connected through, either through this podcast or my other podcast.

Speaker 1 19:15

Yeah.

Speaker 2 19:16

So that's not really a thing, but that's me, and I understand that I'm not most guys.

Speaker 1 19:19

Right, I know guys that follow me, but we also now know why you don't like the pictures. Yeah, I don't, because you don't want me to be like why you like 25 fiction. Now listen, 10 is my cap.

Speaker 2 19:35

You didn't like 25 hoes today, and I don't appreciate it. First of all, I don't have time to go down like hoes because I'll be on our page most of the day.

Speaker 1 19:41

Okay. So, yes, that's fine and, dandy, that that's not you, that's not me, so let me hear your thoughts on, be honest, ok, what are your thoughts on men liking those types of photos?

Speaker 2 19:57

I don't see that on social media. I personally don't see that Hold on. Hold on Me personally.

Speaker 1 20:03

Also knowing Right that it could have some type of impact. Now, do you feel that way for both married men and men that are just in relationship, non-married men? Do you feel that way that you don't care?

Speaker 2 20:20

My stance is the same. Me personally, I don't care. You don't think it's a problem. I don't think it should be a problem as long as, like I always say, there's a line in everything. As long as they're not crossing the line, as long as they're not direct communication, mm-hmm Now.

Speaker 1 20:34

But that could be a starting line.

Speaker 2 20:35

That could be a no no. Yeah, I can Okay Go ahead, but as long as they're not crossing up, that's too much. That's okay, but here's the thing you said when the line is crossed.

Speaker 1 20:51

Now you saying the line starts at commenting yeah, and I'm telling you, the start of the line starts at liking no, I don't think it.

Speaker 2 20:58

I don't. I don't think the start of the line starts at liking, because it's just like you said with your reference right, I can see a young lady in the gym and be like, oh she's, she's attractive and I and I can like how she physically looks. Yeah, I'm not going to go over there and talk to her and say, hey, you look good today, that's fine, but if we were working out together, okay and 25 women passed by.

Speaker 1 21:17

I, I, I know that you have eyes. I see that she's a beautiful girl, I see she in the gym and she's a gym. But I wouldn't appreciate you telling me 25 times of each woman that you like. But but that's what. That's the point that I'm making, deville, that is the point.

Speaker 2 21:33

But me liking her picture is not telling you. You wouldn't know unless you, unless you left Instagram and snitching on me.

Speaker 1 21:39

Okay, but, like you said, you just said the reason why you don't like it, so I don't want to get snitched on. Exactly, but that's for my, but that's for my, exactly.

Speaker 2 21:47

But, baby, listen to what you're saying. But that's for my dynamic, okay, that's for my relationship. Okay, I get it, because I don't want the problem of my wife Because we've had times in the past where you have expressed how you felt about me liking and engaging.

Speaker 1 22:06

So were you commenting.

Speaker 2 22:07

No, because we never had a conversation about you commenting. No, no, I and uh so were you commenting because we never had a conversation about you commenting oh, I was like now you telling stuff for yourself, like, like like uh, I was referring back to my, my face, where I was like where, like zoe zeldana was like my thing. Okay, yes, I remember that and she was on my, she was your screensaver every.

Speaker 1 22:26

I never said anything about that you didn't, you did no, I did you did.

Speaker 2 22:30

You told me you didn't appreciate it. You thought it was a little disrespectful.

Speaker 1 22:33

And I changed it. I don't remember that, but okay.

Speaker 2 22:35

So I'm saying the way I move is that I move according to what you said. Your boundaries are Okay, so that's why I don't do it Okay and that's why I'm saying like I don't feel like it's a big deal.

Speaker 1 22:48

You said it should be a big deal.

Speaker 2 22:49

I don't feel like it should be a big deal or is a big deal, but obviously it is to you. So, out of respect to you, I don't do that. Okay, even like my, even like Des. Like, I don't even like Des' pictures and I'm on a podcast with Des, so if it's on a podcast picture, I don't even like that. I may comment something funny yeah, right, but you don't see a like? Yes, unless she's actually talking about the podcast. Now, if it's like a personal like, like a personal thing, where it's like it's just like a selfie or whatever, I don't, I don't like this stuff, I don't. I just I let her get her little five seconds so it helps push her in the throwaway, right, yeah, but that's because I know how. I know what my wife has communicated to me of what she's comfortable with. Now, do I necessarily agree with your stance?

Speaker 2 23:36

No, but also at the same time, it's not something for me to I'm not finna go to war over liking some random broad's post On social media, Because it ain't that serious Right.

Speaker 1 23:51

Because one thing social media has told me it's not real. It's a hundred thousand of them and it ain't real. Yeah, yeah, agreed, so it's not. I think I think, listen, okay for me personally if it's, if it's one thing where you're scrolling on social media and it's like an every now and then kind of thing, like you come across a beautiful woman or something or a video you know and you like it. Okay.

Speaker 1 24:14

If it's something where it's the same every time yeah well, the same chick, the same type of chick, the same type of content, I know but I'm saying the same type of content, like if I could see hold on.

Speaker 2 24:26

Hold on now. Hold on, now, hold on, hold on, because if you see my work page, your what my explore page? Okay, like my explore page, it is nothing but chocolate.

Speaker 1 24:38

Oh I know, I know it be giving.

Speaker 2 24:43

I can't with you. So Instagram plenty knows what I like.

Speaker 1 24:46

Of course, because that's what you've been looking at.

Speaker 2 24:48

But at the same time I only get those when I hit the real button, Like if I strode in my normal page. It's just people I follow and I don't follow in those people, so I don't see, I get that babe Right, that you've made that point clear.

Speaker 1 25:13

However, however, we are talking on like a grander, yeah, like a broader. A broader, do you think? Do you, do you not? Okay, let me ask it this way do you not think that it is not valid for some women to feel a sense of um insecurity, compare a comparison or a digital disrespect, to have your husband in social media world liking a bunch of other women's videos or following a bunch of a ton of other women's uh pages, liking, commenting, uh, possibly dming, like, oh, that was a great photo or that was. Do you think that is appropriate behavior? I don't.

Speaker 2 25:49

I don't Okay.

Speaker 1 25:50

And do you think that there is not a some form like is it not valid for a woman to feel compared, comparison, disrespect for her husband, like, like her husband behaving that way on social media?

Speaker 2 26:03

This is, this is, this is not, this is not a a a hard line, yes or no type of question, because again, again, you always come to me with these questions with so much, with so much gray area, so much nuance where it wasn't great, though that's it's not an easy yes or no, because there's there's other dynamics that need to be in other, there's other contexts that need it like if it's not business related even if I'm talking about.

Speaker 2 26:27

I'm talking about in the, in, in the, in the shape of the actual relationship you're in, whether it be the marriage or relation, right, okay, are you with someone who's insecure, right? Are you with someone who has, um, this is uh, security issues, some person who are you with someone who actually is against that type of interaction?

Speaker 2 26:46

right a lot of times, that's how you met that person. They might feel that they don't want you doing stuff like that, right? So there's more than just is it right or is it wrong For me personally. Okay, now, I don't agree with DMing people.

Speaker 1 27:00

I think that's like text messaging what you touch other people for To tell her that I really enjoyed the content that she posted today. I don't think that's appropriate. The content was great. I don't think that's appropriate. Why For me?

Speaker 2 27:10

personally, because now you're engaging in conversation.

Speaker 1 27:13

Are you not engaging with commenting too?

Speaker 2 27:16

It depends on what the comment is.

Speaker 1 27:19

Is it the point of social media engagement?

Speaker 2 27:22

It is Okay, it is.

Speaker 1 27:24

Okay.

Speaker 2 27:24

But I'm saying when you're engaging in direct conversation.

Speaker 1 27:28

Oh, okay, like one-on-one.

Speaker 2 27:29

Right In the comment section, everybody can see that. Okay, that's not a secret, uh-huh, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 27:35

DMing is a secret. It is, it could be yeah. It is Okay.

Speaker 2 27:38

That's a secret.

Speaker 1 27:39

Okay.

Speaker 2 27:39

So that's not, I don't do it.

Speaker 1 27:42

I mean, you have, you have? I would hope not. I don't keep tabs on you, so I would hope not but you have my phone in your hand often. And I do not go through your DMs. I don't go through, they're going to be dry. I don't go through your social media they dry. I don't have time for that Sierra desert. Or the desire to do it.

Speaker 2 28:04

Right, I got that. But what I'm saying is is that I feel, personally, that it depends on the relationship that you are in. Okay, like I said at the top of the episode, I don't think that liking someone's post is a sign of disrespect or a sign Right. And when you talk about the comparison, right when I say like so, if I'm liking so-and-so's picture, and now because I'm with you and you look nothing like so-and-so or so-and-so is more enhanced in one area or not, now you're comparing that to me.

Speaker 1 28:39

That's a me problem.

Speaker 2 28:40

It is your problem, because if I'm constantly telling you that I love who you are, I'm happy with you, but now you're because I like this picture. Now you must think, oh, he must not like me because he likes this, but is that? Is that crazy to think I believe it is you do I? I think that I do think that a lot of times that some women try to try to pull things out of thin air just just to cause a problem, because I, I can always say a lot of times, I don't really, I, I personally believe that women don't understand the extent personality will take you, because a personality in the long run will outweigh looks. Oh yeah, absolutely for most men, okay, for most men. That's why some men will look at some girls like, oh they, oh, they've been looking at her a lot of times she got a fire personality or she got something else.

Speaker 1 29:33

That's fire she's doing something Well, I mean that part I can understand, because I think that happens for women too.

Speaker 2 29:39

But knowing that, why are you now comparing yourself? Because, right, so I understand that, hey, I'm not the. I don't know either. I don't believe I look bad, right, I don't think I'm the best.

Speaker 1 29:56

I ain't prince, right, really, that white, that was a strong right well, because I just want to take you back to your what your own words, once before too which was what. No, which was when. When we talk about, like, for instance, when we have the conversation of the type of men that I'm attracted to you always, you always say you're like, I look nothing like the man you're attracted to. I knew you don't really like me.

Speaker 2 30:25

That was me joking, but I got you, I have you, I know you do. It's just like today, for instance, right Like you said, the gentlemen that were talking to you in the gym. I wasn't jealous at all Because, guess what?

Speaker 1 30:41

She's going to be on my face later. You think I care about that.

Speaker 2 30:44

Oh my gosh, she finna bust it open for me. Talk away, sir, that don't bother me at all. I'm not. I'm not a jealous type.

Speaker 1 30:55

Yeah, I'm okay. But back to what you said about it.

Defining Social Media Boundaries in Marriage

Speaker 1 30:58

Depends on what type of relationship you're in if you're in a relationship where it's going to be a problem okay, but what if it's not even a person, a person who, a woman who's jealous? It just makes her uncomfortable. Because I see that you're liking all of these women that look nothing like me. They're like, but why is it hold on just like how you said? Why is it so hard to believe for men to be like I'm with you, but I also like these videos. Why is it hard for you to believe that that could create some type of comparison, emotion or a level of disrespect in a woman for a man behaving that way on social media.

Speaker 2 31:37

Do you like tart yogurt, just plain tart, you like plain?

Speaker 1 31:42

tart, I do like plain time do you like mango tart?

Speaker 2 31:45

sure, do you think the mango tarts jealous of the plain tart reese, that doesn't even make sense. Do you think the mango tart jealous of the strawberry? Uh, whatever tart you got today reese?

Speaker 1 31:58

those are not. Those are people with emotions. But what I'm?

Speaker 2 32:02

saying is. What I'm saying is is that you yourself like tart and you like different variations of tart, but it does not diminish the fact that you like plain tart and mango tart because the strawberry tart came around. It doesn't diminish that. It doesn't diminish the fact that you like pistachios.

Speaker 1 32:21

Right.

Speaker 2 32:22

So you try to say.

Speaker 1 32:24

you try to say because, like, I'm with you and you're a woman, but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to like other flavors of women. No, that means, that's what it sounds like.

Speaker 2 32:33

What that means is that I'm with you, I like you, I love you, but that doesn't.

Speaker 1 32:38

But that doesn't mean I'm not going to be attracted to other women.

Speaker 2 32:40

That doesn't mean that I'm not going to see another attractive woman and can say, oh, she's attractive.

Speaker 1 32:44

Obviously.

Speaker 2 32:46

But, we're me. The action of liking a picture is not big for me. For you, for me For you, but I don't do it because it's a big thing for you. Okay, right, but what I'm saying is in the general sense is that for me it's not really an issue, unless I'm trying to now actively pursue the other thing I'm attracted. Well, not, I think, the other person I'm attracted to.

Speaker 1 33:16

Okay but that's why I said we're talking about past you past you now, what you just said, unless you're actively trying to pursue past that. That's why I said liking could be a starting point instead of commenting being a starting point. Right, it's like I said before it is one thing to just like, you know, random pictures, whatever you see every once in a while. But when you think about how people utilize social media and how we all go down scroll holes, if you're sitting on Instagram for an hour and you're scrolling and the only thing you're looking at is a bunch of half-naked women or the women of your fantasies or whatever, and none of these women resemble your girlfriend or your wife, and you've liked over 50, 50 pictures and videos and you've commented on some of these um pictures and videos, where do you think that is coming from? What do you? Because here's this one. No, no, no, hold on, because this is this, is this is my question hold on.

Speaker 1 34:16

This is my next question. Now. Let's say you sit there and you scroll for an hour. You've liked 50 videos and pictures. You've commented on several of these videos that's crazy and she dms. You don't respond.

Speaker 2 34:30

No because that's two different things.

Speaker 1 34:36

But no, but do you see, do you you're? I think you're missing, I think you're missing the point, or I'm not explaining, you're right, because I don't think you understand, I think, how this, that's how things start, I think, I think, I think I think you're trying to explain what similar what she was trying to say in the picture by me liking these videos.

Speaker 2 34:53

I'm now inviting the attention to me, if she brings attention to me.

Speaker 1 34:59

But in your mind you're not initiating or engaging at all, I'm just liking the picture. You're just liking the picture. But if you're liking and then you comment and then somebody shoots somebody a DM and then it's still all innocent. Hold on, it's still all innocent.

Speaker 2 35:12

It's still all innocent.

Speaker 1 35:14

If I go to work and me and my male co-worker- at all innocent If I go to work and me and my male co-worker. We work at the steel mill and we work together and we go to lunch. It's just lunch, but we go to lunch four days a week.

Speaker 2 35:26

That's not just lunch.

Speaker 1 35:28

How is?

Speaker 2 35:28

it not just lunch. We work at the same place, we work the same shift.

Speaker 1 35:32

We both have to eat lunch and we just so happen to do it together.

Speaker 2 35:36

Because the environment matters.

Speaker 1 35:39

The environment matters.

Speaker 2 35:41

Because if it's just you and him going to lunch, you're now in an intimate setting with him.

Speaker 1 35:45

Oh.

Speaker 2 35:46

And that intimate setting. How is that intimate?

Speaker 1 35:48

How is it intimate, because it's just you two.

Speaker 2 35:50

We go to lunch in a public place, but it's just you two in a public place At a table.

Speaker 1 36:02

Are you with 20 other people, sometimes, sometimes that you all know, sometimes and sometimes or not, okay, but do. But do you see the point of?

Speaker 2 36:05

that's how things can get started. That's the point that I'm making.

Speaker 1 36:07

I see the point, like I said, you're, you're basically double down on what she's saying I'm not trying to double down, I'm just saying I think it's crazy that you can't see it from the female perspective of how that can make someone, even if a woman isn't insecure, and I think, and I think that's absurd too for you to say that by uh, that that must play on some type of insecurity on a woman?

Speaker 2 36:29

I don't see I don't.

Speaker 1 36:30

I don't agree with that personally okay, let me say this.

Speaker 2 36:34

Let me say this I see what you're trying to say. I don't necessarily believe what you're trying to say from my male brain, right? What's so?

Speaker 1 36:47

and go ahead. What no? Females and males think differently.

Speaker 2 36:51

It's fine and I see what you're saying about how, like she couldn't feel some type of way or whatever the case may be. Right, because like I don't, I don't see. I don't deem you to be the jealous type at all, I'm not At all. Yeah, but you also are not afraid to let somebody know that I ain't that damn funny.

Speaker 1 37:13

Goodbye.

Speaker 2 37:14

You also have said on numerous times he't gonna save you, boo, boo because that now that goes back to when you've also told him. You've also said that once I, once, once I'm done, he ain't gonna have nothing left for you anyway, I'm gonna make sure he ain't gonna be shit for you. So I promise that goes to the point to now. That goes to wow, whether you believe it or not, that I would step out on you, which I don't believe you believe I would do that, because if you do, then I'm doing something wrong.

Speaker 2 37:40

Yeah, you still will be. Let it be made known that, hey, this is not to be messed with because he's mine right so so it. So that's what I'm saying, the talking points that she was saying, that's all.

Speaker 2 37:54

That's all a territorial thing, which I understand, because men do the same thing it's a territorial thing exactly but as my male brain because again, maybe people have different tastes on social media, I do my male brain will say it's just a picture, I don't really care about it I would have. My issue is when, now the comedy right, and now that you're commenting back and forth, it's just not a comedy just, and now you're commenting back and forth, it's just not a comedy. Just sitting there, now you're commenting back and forth. That's where I started having the issue. Now I'm like what's going on? Because now at that point right, because when you're liking the picture, you're just letting it be known that, hey, you're liking what you're seeing.

Speaker 1 38:32

Yeah.

Speaker 2 38:32

Right. When you start commenting back and forth and DMing, now you're cultivating a relationship. That's where I draw the line. I'm not cultivating a relationship by hitting the like button, I'm just saying yeah.

Speaker 1 38:46

So you remember how, when she talked about how the girl who sees that you liked her photo and she knows that you're a married man and now she can go back to her friend and make assumptions about what's going on in your relationship, you know how some men like to try to pounce on married women because it's a challenge. Women do the same exact thing and there are women, okay, who will be. Some could be jealous of what they think you have and some women could play it like it's a game where you think, oh, you think you think he faithful to you, oh, you think you know you got it like that. Let me, let me show you because he likes all my photos and I promise you, if I respond to one of his comments or if I shoot him a DM, I got your nigga.

Speaker 1 39:28

No like but because that's how, because that's how women can be. So when you say, when you say that and you speak about the territorial thing and then she talks about, like, how, when the girl sees that the married man liked her photos, that can become a challenge for her. So, again, like when you say, liking is just, it's just nothing. But if I see this guy who constantly has gone down my page and he has liked multiple videos, multiple photos, right, and I go to click on his name and I go to his page and I see that, oh, okay, like you know, he's, he's got this or he's got a girlfriend, he's got a wife, but you over here liking all of my photos, I bet you, if I sent his ass a dm he would respond to me.

Speaker 1 40:12

But all that started with you liking all of her photos. Okay, all of that started with you liking her photos, like, but here's the thing, hold on, here's the thing. I understand what. I understand what you're saying. I get what you're saying. You're saying liking a photo is just liking a photo. Right, and that's okay, because you're thinking with, like your brain, liking a photo is just liking a photo. But not every man has the same intentions.

Speaker 2 40:41

Okay, then that's a whole different conversation.

Speaker 1 40:45

But that's why I said we're talking past you, okay.

Speaker 3 40:49

No I said that.

Speaker 1 40:50

That's why, when you keep bringing it back and saying, but me personally everyone's not like you. Most men, to the broader, the ones that are liking all of these things obviously are not thinking the same way you're thinking. So for most women, they're thinking about what is the intentions. So it's not crazy to think that she could feel disrespected, that she could feel like she's being compared.

Speaker 2 41:18

That's not crazy to think. So let me ask you this have you ever felt like I was comparing you to any woman's video picture I liked?

Speaker 1 41:26

I never, personally no.

Speaker 2 41:28

Okay.

Speaker 3 41:29

No, but that's why I'm telling you, it's not like it's crazy for me to think that you don't feel like I was comparing you to Maya.

Speaker 1 41:37

No.

Speaker 2 41:37

Or Janae.

Speaker 1 41:38

Why would I think you're comparing me to Maya or Janae? Oh no, why would I think that? Like, I don't think that, but but or Jill Scott. We're talking on a broader, a broader spectrum.

Speaker 2 41:52

But see now when.

Speaker 1 41:53

A broader spectrum. See my, and we see people who had affairs on social media Like it's not a foreign thing that people hook up.

Speaker 2 42:02

Affairs on social media.

Speaker 1 42:03

It's not a foreign thing.

Territorial Behavior and Hidden Intentions

Speaker 2 42:04

That people hook up. Oh, they meet up, they hook up Okay.

Speaker 1 42:07

Through social media, and it all started with a like.

Speaker 2 42:09

Okay, okay, here we go. Well, I mean, you know what happened recently with the influencer and her boyfriend or her husband.

Speaker 1 42:19

Okay, and guess what? I bet you. It started with him liking content.

Speaker 2 42:23

No, it started with him egging on her husband. There are a whole different thing. But now that you introduced the concept or the notion of intentions, right, that's different. Oh my gosh, because if you're doing this, if you're liking these with the intention of getting attention, that's different.

Speaker 1 42:46

Men being drawn to things that are physically or sexually stimulant, stimulating.

Speaker 2 42:56

So you think men solely like things because they want the attention of that thing?

Speaker 1 42:59

because they want the what attention of it babe, we're talking about something like very in particular, it's not just random things, okay, I'm talking about so you think, basically like so you think the average man likes a picture because he wants the attention of that person that he likes a picture like maybe in some way shape or form okay, and so I mean that's fine, you can disagree I'm you're like, maybe in some way, shape or form okay in some way I mean, that's fine, you can disagree.

Speaker 1 43:21

I'm just saying like I disagree I mean, you know that that could I could very much be wrong. I could very much be wrong, but if you're sitting there and from from your own, from your own words, you tell me, like how men can think about sex every six seconds and then you're constantly, and then you're constantly looking at 47 times this one okay, and you're constantly looking at images that stimulate that part of your brain.

Speaker 1 43:48

Okay, and then you're constantly engaging with that type of content okay there's an intention somewhere behind it, whether you're conscious about it or not so because if you're, especially if you comment on it, if you like it and comment on it, and then you get a response from it, you're just gonna be like, oh no, I didn't intend for that to happen, let me just, let me, let me scroll, let me swipe, swipe across from that, because I didn't first of all come on again.

Speaker 2 44:18

See, it's hard to be having this conversation because I always refer back to myself but don't do that because I don't talk about. I don't. I don't like to speak for men in general, I like to speak for me.

Speaker 1 44:25

So I mean, it's just your opinion. Everyone has one like an asshole and your notion, have I so? Let's just be honest about it.

Speaker 2 44:32

Have I seen a beautiful one? But oh my like she is gorgeous.

Speaker 1 44:36

I know you have. I've done the same. I've seen men and I'm like damn Like have I not said?

Speaker 2 44:43

had I not said, given the right circumstance.

Speaker 1 44:47

Listen, we've had this conversation millions of times.

Speaker 2 44:52

So do I think I'm wrong for thinking that? No, I think I'm just a man. I'm wrong if I act on that.

Speaker 1 44:59

You're wrong if you do what. Act on that Okay, and I don't believe that life is a picture. If it's acting on that, I didn't say anything. That's just what I just did. I didn't say anything.

Speaker 2 45:15

Okay, but this is like. This is so you, this is so you, this is so what is so me.

Speaker 1 45:23

This is just having this. I just wanted your reaction to the video.

Speaker 2 45:26

This really just has to be like. I think it's crazy, like the way you guys come to these conclusions is why I can listen I can see how you guys can view it. That way, I can hold on I'm not saying that it's not completely un. It's not a completely unjustified view on the topic because you have some men who will purposely do that.

Speaker 2 45:51

You have some men who will try to make a let it be known that, hey, you ain't her, and if you want to be in her spot, you have some people that way. But I believe that the majority of men are not like that. But the problem is is that we take a small minute part of the population and try to apply their actions to everyone in their group, and that's not fair okay, so it takes me back to my original question, because I can't think it's appropriate?

Speaker 1 46:19

as a married man, as a married man, as a married man, do you think it's appropriate? You said, you said it doesn't matter if you're married or dating. So but now that we've had a little bit of dialogue and then I've introduced intention and stuff. Do you think that it is appropriate for a married man to be on social media liking Instagram baddies, following Instagram baddie pages, commenting on Instagram baddie content?

Speaker 2 46:47

Okay, do you think that's appropriate behavior?

Speaker 1 46:50

regardless if he has an insecure wife or not.

Speaker 2 46:53

And my answer to that would be the same it depends on his dynamic. Okay, you're trying to split the baby. You're not answering on. Okay, you're trying to split the baby. You're not answering the question. I'm not trying to split the baby, you are.

Speaker 1 47:00

In my relationship. Okay, in a broad view, yes or no? Yes or no?

Speaker 2 47:06

Is it okay?

Speaker 1 47:07

Is it okay?

Speaker 3 47:07

Do you think?

Speaker 1 47:08

it's okay. Do you think it's appropriate behavior as a married man To follow To, to be engaging in social, to be engaging on social media with that type of content and those type of women? Yes or no? I?

Speaker 2 47:21

don't think there's a problem with that.

Speaker 1 47:23

You don't think that's a problem.

Speaker 2 47:24

If you're just looking at the account, I don't think there's a problem. Babe, we literally just said liking, possibly commenting.

Speaker 1 47:32

Do you think that's appropriate behavior? Yes, do you think that's appropriate behavior, yes or no? Commenting is not appropriate, but you're trying to like babysuit half of the population instead of just like. I'm not trying.

Speaker 2 47:46

I'm telling you what I believe. Like I said from the beginning, I don't see liking as a problem.

Speaker 1 47:51

Okay, so you think that's, oh, you think that is acceptable behavior as a married male for a married man to be engaging in social media?

Speaker 2 48:01

that way if if you're consistently liking one person.

Speaker 1 48:06

What's the point if you're still like no, how's that different? It's different, babe, it's different you're just liking the photo though listen, listen, listen, listen.

Speaker 2 48:13

that's different to me, because now we're not talking about you liking a type, we're talking about you liking an individual.

Speaker 1 48:21

Okay. So what if you follow 50 of those pages? That's wild. What if you follow 50 of those pages and you like various photos from all 50 pages? That's not just one page.

Speaker 2 48:33

Are those pages that are? They're all the same.

Speaker 1 48:37

They're all the same types of pages. Types of pages are the same person. Maurice. See, that's different she ain't got 50 damn accounts, so they're all the same type.

Speaker 2 48:46

But there are those accounts that just post pictures of random women.

Speaker 1 48:50

Maurice, maurice, stop it.

Speaker 2 48:54

All right.

Speaker 1 48:55

Because, you're really trying, I'm not're, you're really trying, you're really, you're really trying you're gonna sit here and say it's not okay to like the same person's page multiple times, but it's okay to like the same type of content with the same type of girl multiple times it's different but but then to say that the likes don't matter and like is the like, it doesn't matter if I'm on, if I'm on her page, and you go through and you scroll and you like 10 of her photos.

Speaker 1 49:23

You're saying liking 10 of her photos is not okay, but being a follower of multiple accounts that are just like hers and then having multiple likes of those same types of accounts is okay. Make that make make sense. Make that make sense, because I see where you're trying to go with it, but it's still that. But a like is a like. You just said a like is a like.

Speaker 2 49:45

It's not okay babe.

Speaker 1 49:46

No, I'm trying to. I'm trying to really understand what you're saying. You just said right that if you're liking multiple photos from one account, you said that is acceptable or unacceptable.

Speaker 2 49:59

It's just hard for me to try to validate.

Speaker 1 50:04

What are you trying to validate? There's no validations.

Speaker 2 50:06

Can I finish what I'm going to say? Go ahead.

Speaker 1 50:17

It's hard for me to try to validate a made up space and equate that to real life.

Speaker 2 50:20

But no one's asking you to do that.

Speaker 1 50:25

But you're associating the likes and the comments to real life. Okay, because I'm just trying to get you to make it clear to me for better understanding, what the difference is having one account, that's an Instagram baddie account, and liking five of her photos or ten of her photos and then following this and following, following multiple accounts that are just like that one, and still liking the same type of photos with different girls in it. I just want you, I just want you to try to break that down for me there's no difference, babe no, no, you can't, you don't.

Speaker 1 50:56

Don't try to be like that. Don't try to break that down. For me, there's no difference, babe. No, no, you can't. Don't. Try to be like that. Don't try to be like that, because I'm asking you to explain it. And now what it feels like is that you can't explain it. So now you're just going to be like oh yeah, it's whatever you say, babe.

Speaker 2 51:13

It's whatever you say, because you took what I said and you're trying and you're because you're taking what I, what I'm saying, and you're trying to mold it into something that is not asking you to explain what I said was okay, if yes I didn't even say follow, I just said liking, because you don't have to follow these people to see them.

Speaker 2 51:31

That is true. If I I said if you are liking one particular post person's post, okay, every time they post, okay, and you're making it be known, that is potentially an issue, because now you're trying to cultivate a relationship, possibly, with that person, okay, right, if you just so happen to have 20 different pages come across and they all look similar, okay, but they're not the same person. Okay, that's not the same thing. Okay, that's not the same thing. That's not the same thing, because one is a singular person. Okay, so it's like it's, it's, it's, it's like drake 20 v1. No, it's, it's, it's not the same. It's, it's not the same. It's not the same. What?

Speaker 1 52:22

It's not the same, it's not the same. Okay, babe, to me, okay, it's going to be one of those things where it just makes sense in your brain it does. But I guess that explains to me why you can't fathom why some women would feel some type of way about it. That just that makes sense. Now I understand why women. That makes sense.

Speaker 2 52:43

That makes sense. Now I understand why women feel some type of way about it because women are territorial. Okay, women are way more territorial than men are, mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 52:53

You believe so?

Speaker 2 52:53

I know so.

Speaker 1 52:56

Okay.

Speaker 2 52:58

Okay, go ahead, we're done. We're done with today. We're done. This has been another episode where she takes the time to tell me what is and isn't.

Speaker 1 53:11

Okay, I don't know what he's talking about. Because this is the goal, I don't know what he's talking about what is and what isn't okay I have no idea what you're talking about, but okay, uh, we're gonna hop right on into our two cents. Good, good, uh, dialogue babe I doubt it.

Speaker 1 53:31

I doubt it he seems a little salty now. I don't know why, but the only thing soft is the chips. That's crazy. Okay, here we go. Am I the asshole for getting a new nurse fired for accusing me of having an affair with my father?

Speaker 1 53:47

I'm a hospital social worker at a small hospital. My dad is one of the ER day shift charge nurses. A few weeks ago, I was in the ER trying to figure out placement for an elderly patient. When I was ago, I was in the ER trying to figure out placement for an elderly patient. When I was leaving, I had a chat with my dad in the hallway Before I left. He gave me a hug and told me not to be late for dinner. I joked about how I'm going to order the most expensive steak on the menu, since it's his turn to pay.

Speaker 1 54:11

I'm 27 and my dad is 51. There was a new nurse at the nurse's station nearby. Pretty much everyone knows that he's my dad. I hadn't spoken with this new nurse much, though, and she didn't know that he was my dad. Apparently, she thought my dad and I were having an affair. Based off of what she heard and saw, she knew my dad's married to my mom, who brings him lunch sometimes she immediately began gossiping to other staff members that my dad was having an affair with the hospital social worker, aka me. One older nurse that I've known for a long time immediately came to tell me. I don't think that she liked the new nurse very much. Anyway, I guess no one decided to tell her that he was my dad. I hate gossipers. I don't know what it is about nurses, but I swear to God, some of them really love to just spread rumors.

Speaker 1 55:03

I decided to not take it up with her and I just went straight to HR. We both were asked to come to HR after our shift was over, along with my father. Now the HR lady knew that he was my father when the new nurse came in. She was asked to explain and she said that she thinks it's terrible that we would so blatantly have an affair and that she was shocked because she thought my dad seemed like such a nice guy. My dad then decided to speak up and explain that I was his child. The new nurse was mortified and apologized profusely.

Speaker 2 55:38

Too late.

Speaker 1 55:39

The HR lady asked me and my dad to leave. They had a meeting with the unit manager and it was decided that the new nurse would be fired immediately because she was still in her 90-day probationary period. My mom thinks that I'm a jerk and that I should have brought it up to the nurse instead of bringing it to HR when I knew that she was probably get fired. I think my mom is also sympathetic because she stalked the woman's Facebook and she's a single mom or whatever. I think I was right to get her fired because the hospital doesn't need a bunch of nurses sitting on their asses gossiping instead of doing their jobs. My dad was embarrassed and feels awkward about the whole thing. It's not the first time someone had thought that I was dating my dad. We aren't weird or anything, but it happens anywho. Am I the asshole?

Speaker 1 56:22

no, this is hilarious play stupid games, get to it surprises.

Speaker 2 56:29

Yeah, look, look this is the definition of this is one time you should have just kept your mouth shut and Stay in your lane. Stay in your lane, yep, yep.

Speaker 1 56:40

Worry about yourself. Fuck nigga, Shut up, stupid. You over here worrying about me, but that's why that's also why you shouldn't be gossiping at work.

Speaker 3 56:51

And then you on a 90 day probation.

Speaker 1 56:52

You're not even off probation, you're not even off probation, and you sit up here and try to uh get friends by gossiping and thinking you you're not even off probation. You got the audacity you don't even know the ins and outs and the workings of the place that you in yet, and then to just assume because she looks younger and he's right, and he's older and first of all you don't know how long I've been here, how long he's been here.

Speaker 2 57:16

You knew, you know nothing you ain't trying to know homework or nothing, not at all straight to you, didn't ask another nurse.

Speaker 1 57:22

You like that was my thing. You didn't even ask another nurse because if all the other nurses knew, somebody would have told you girl, that's his daughter girl, you just girl, you just you messy you're messy and you deserve to get fired sorry. Sorry, am I the asshole for putting a lock on my bedroom door after my roommate's boyfriend walked in on me changing twice?

Speaker 2 57:42

I would have pressed charges.

Speaker 1 57:44

I'm a 22-year-old female and I live with two other girls in a shared apartment. One of them, maya, who's 23, has a boyfriend who is over constantly. He's fine, mostly quiet, respectful, but apparently does not knock. Last week he walked in on me changing. I was in a bra and underwear, facing the closet. He apologized and quickly left, but it was so awkward. Maya said oh my gosh, he's so dumb, sorry. And that was it. It happened again three days later. I was literally topless. I yelled at him and slammed the door. This time Maya got defensive and said well, maybe lock the door next time. So I did. I went to Home Depot, I bought a cheap doorknob with the lock key and installed it myself. Now Maya is acting like I'm paranoid and quote unquote, creating an unsafe vibe in our apartment by acting like someone's out to get me. Our other roommate is neutral but told me that she thinks Maya is trying to save face and that I should just talk it out. But like am I seriously overreacting? Two times is enough, right?

Speaker 2 58:55

You're not overreacting at all. You're not overreacting at all because the first time it happened he should.

Speaker 1 58:59

He should have knocked the second time because you know what happened the first time he liked what he saw that's all it is. He liked what he saw and if he doesn't live there and it's an apartment full of women, right? You know, if there's a closed door, you should be knocking on the door.

Speaker 2 59:14

That was my point I was to. If you know you're in an apartment full of women, why are you anywhere but the kitchen or living room?

Speaker 1 59:22

And why are you walking into rooms without knocking first and then why are you walking into her room?

Speaker 2 59:28

Come on now. I was born at night, not last night, not last night. Come on, he liked what he saw and he wanted some of that.

Speaker 1 59:34

And then Maya, she too dumb to believe. So dumb that her damn boyfriend Is doing this shit On purpose. So dumb, and trying to make it seem Like her roommate Is crazy Cause now she probably Thinking he don't want you, he's my boyfriend.

Speaker 2 59:48

Bitch, all you gotta do Is walk up and say Hello, it's me, it's me. You ain't shit.

Speaker 1 59:54

I was wondering If I could meet them cheeks. You liked me, he trying to get them cheeks.

Speaker 2 1:00:01

He trying to get them cheeks.

Speaker 1 1:00:03

Yeah, that's crazy work. No, you're not the asshole Girl. Find new roommates or Try to find a new place. I don't know, but he did that on purpose.

Speaker 2 1:00:14

And.

Speaker 1 1:00:15

And if you, if you, messing up the vibe in the apartment, then it's about time for me to leave, or you, you and him can go get a place.

Speaker 2 1:00:23

I mean he already saw the Tatas. He's halfway there. See everything else, Goodness gracious.

Speaker 1 1:00:28

All right, guys. This has been another episode of the life after I do podcast. If you're not doing so already, please go ahead and like, share, comment, follow all of our social media platforms at Life After I Do Podcast. We're almost at 20k on TikTok, guys, so keep it coming, keep the engagement going. Like and follow us on Instagram and Facebook and YouTube. You get a new episode every Wednesday, don't forget. You can also write into the podcast at lifeafteridopodcast at gmailcom and, as always, we'll see you later. Booze peace. Booze geese peace.