Life After I Do Podcast
Marriage and relationships can be tough. You may feel like you’re the only one struggling but you’re not. Life After I do is a weekly podcast where Morice and Kynesha, a black married millennial couple, share their experiences and advice on everything from kids and family to intimacy and connection. Noting is off limits.
In their 21 years together and 7 years of marriage, Morice and Kynesha have learned a lot about what it takes to make a relationship work. They know the importance of communication, trust and commitment. They also know it’s okay to not have it all figured out.
Join them every Wednesday as they talk about their own journey of “Life After I do”.
Life After I Do Podcast
Our 2 Cents Vol. 18
Entitlement can ruin even the strongest relationships. In this episode of Our 2 Cents, we talk about real-life scenarios where people cross the line with unreasonable demands—from the mother who won’t allow her ex’s new wife to homeschool her kids, to the guest who sleeps all day but expects custom breakfasts.
We unpack why boundaries matter, how to spot when kindness is being exploited, and why sometimes saying "no" is the most loving choice you can make.
Don’t miss this conversation about respect, boundaries, and standing firm against entitled behavior.
Daddy said this bullshit to me. Now, all of a sudden, you need some help medically.
Speaker 2:Now you want no sweetheart, I wouldn't want to try to buy my way into your life.
Speaker 1:I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything. We know you don't like me. I don't want you to feel like you owe me.
Speaker 2:If you don't like me, you don't like my money.
Speaker 1:So you know, it is what it is, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:I for you. I'll pray for you. Wish you the best. My bishop does great prayers. Hey, everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Life After I Do Podcast. Thanks for joining us for another week of Shanannigans.
Speaker 1:Cause you let a Shanann once you're going to Shanann again we're going to Shanann again. And again and again. I love me a good Shanann. We're doing Shanann again, and again and again.
Speaker 2:I love me a good Shanann. Wait a minute, it wasn't her name, sorry, my brain just went somewhere else, to one of my true crimes. Oh, wow, and I believe it was a pretty popular case. I think her name was Shanann.
Speaker 1:Okay, we're not going to do that.
Speaker 2:Hey, booskies, hi, how are you doing?
Speaker 1:I'm great. How are you? You look good, thank you. You look great yourself. Let's just say you look good.
Speaker 2:You look good, you look good, thank you. You look great too, you look good.
Speaker 1:Thank you, honey. Everybody think you taller than me. Why? Because you said higher than me in the videos. Oh, because sometimes Definitely not taller than him. She sitting on all that ass, definitely she sitting on all that ass. I mean I do way more than you, so I guess you sitting on all that ass, yeah.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:Junk in the trunk Ass thighs. Smother me, hammies, smother me, sprinkle me baby.
Speaker 2:Hey, oh is that the Twisted song in old school. That is E-40. Is that the Twisted song?
Speaker 1:in old school. That is E-40.
Speaker 2:E-40 yes.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:Who, by the way, is like not aging, just like Pharrell Williams.
Speaker 1:He's a vampire.
Speaker 2:I was like me and my sister was talking about that yesterday.
Speaker 1:That's that slurring cane.
Speaker 2:Something I said. Listen, I'm not hating, they look great, look great, they look fantastic. I was like, okay, I want to be like y'all when I grow up. 40 water, I want to be like them when I grow up Big time-a-time-a 40 water Sprinkle me baby, sprinkle me man. That should be vibe check next week. Oh it might be. Yeah, that might be the vibe check. You going to do a whole verse, no.
Speaker 1:Because you don't know all the words. I don't.
Speaker 2:I can try to learn them. My hands hurt, wow, I can try to learn them. But how was your week, booskies? My week was good, that's good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, cause he, good Cause he good Cause he good.
Speaker 2:Yes, it was a good week. You're knee deep into summer break knee deep in the summer break this, this child, and her stomach. She trying, she trying to come at me with the summer stomach and I was like I said, we're not doing it.
Speaker 1:Say it again I told her.
Speaker 2:I said listen, snacks close at 8 pm, my kitchen closes at 9 pm and I think that's pretty darn generous considering that your normal bedtime is 7 30 and she'd be up to 4 am and so since she's on summer break and she does not have a bedtime, dad has told her she doesn't have to have a bedtime.
Speaker 2:That child is up 4 am. Like she came in vampire hours like my sister has. My sister's been here for the week and this morning when she got up she was like what is it that your daughter be doing? She was like she was up all night. She was like I went upstairs she had magic tricks in the hallway.
Speaker 2:She didn't most signs. I say yeah, because she set up her show. Like when I got up this morning and I walked out of our bedroom she had made uh, she makes signs Like when she puts on a show or something she'll make like a headliner sign and it'll have the time that the show starts, the time that the show ends, the name of the show, and then she puts like arrows, like directions to which bedroom to go to to see the show. It's actually really cute. And so when I walked out of the bedroom this morning and I saw all the the signs and stuff in the hallway, I said oh, she must have she put on a show. And then I looked down the hallway and her magic box was on the floor and I said this baby didn't put on a whole magic show because her and I stayed up to. I stayed up with her until 11 and we were playing barbie shop to 11.
Speaker 1:So I still think it's that ball y'all play barbie shop. Y'all literally go shopping as barbies at the barbie store. Yes, women gonna shop, no matter what they were. Women going to shop, no matter what. Listen.
Speaker 2:I had four clients who had to get ready for a swimming pool ball. Oh, okay, okay, they had to get ready for a swimming pool ball, okay, so my first client who came in her name was Christy.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And her request was she wanted a dress that she could dance in but also get into the water.
Speaker 1:I didn't know they could make those yes, and so I had the perfect thing for her.
Speaker 2:So, you know, all my customers left happy, satisfied. Two of them were matching with watches, you know. So it was great. I mean, you know. Girl mom that's girl mom stuff. See, he won't stay up for two hours and play. Uh, barbie shop no and that's what I'd be trying to tell him. I'd be like you you tired, I had to do a whole day.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna tell her, if barbie up past 10, she doing something she's gonna be doing, she's fast she's not hot in the crotch bye.
Speaker 2:And then. Then she wanted to break out the Barbie camper and I said listen, wait, hold on.
Speaker 1:Did you wear blue? Because I wore blue.
Speaker 2:No, I had blue on first. No, you didn't Cop.
Speaker 1:Anyway, stop the cat.
Speaker 2:Then she wanted to break out the Barbie camper and I was like boo, it's 11 o'clock, I'm yawning, left eye keeps going to sleep.
Speaker 1:We got the way your melatonin, the way your natural melatonin set up.
Speaker 2:I said. I said, babe, can we, can we resume tomorrow please? I said, but I had a great time.
Speaker 1:My quarter's on way too high.
Speaker 2:I need to cut it I was like girl, I got the gym in the morning, I'm not going to be no good, it's a leg day. I have to get sleep before leg four leg day, because it's not gonna work and I'm still sore. So I was like I gotta go to bed and she was like okay, mom, she's like thanks for playing with me. I was like thank you. I'm happy that all of our clients loved their outfits today, okay, so yeah, pretty much mommed all week.
Speaker 2:All right, trying to, you know, keep at bay, trying to manage the, the household, the snacks in particular. So you know.
Speaker 1:I was going to tell you this houseguest was about to get evicted. Goodbye.
Speaker 2:But yeah, other than that, everything was good, that's good. How was your week?
Speaker 1:I'm happy you had a good week.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I had a decent week. I can't complain.
Speaker 1:My week was full of responsibility, oh look at that, look at you.
Speaker 2:Were you lifing hard, too hard? And then you know as cute as this dog is, she's starting to stress me out. The dog that you wanted, the dog that yeah, I got to go out.
Speaker 1:You know I have a long weekend of sprinkler repair ahead of me, mm-hmm, mm-hmm ahead of me, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:I just want to. I just want to put it on the record that we lost both of our dogs like over the span of two years.
Speaker 1:It was like two years ago. Two years ago, yeah, so it's the last one past.
Speaker 2:We lost both of our dogs and he's been trying to get another dog in here and for the longest time I have said I'm not ready for another dog, I don't want to bear the risk.
Speaker 2:That's exactly what I said. I wasn't ready for another dog. I also just wanted to like have the house be like, not have the responsibilities of having a pet, because you know those who have pets, you know there's a responsibility to pets, and especially for me, since I'm the one that's primarily home most of the time, that would have to be here with said pet. But anywho, we ended up getting a dog and her name is Macy and she's beautiful and she is actually a great dog. She's just in her puppy stages right now and, let's be real, we haven't had a puppy in like 16 years.
Speaker 2:Really, really. And so this is the energy I was trying to explain to him that I was not necessarily in the mood to deal with, but he was like, no, we need a dog. I was like, okay, we'll get a dog. And now she didn't chew up all the damn sprinkler wires in the backyard and killed half of my grass on the favorite side of my yard. So now he's got to deal with that.
Speaker 1:We're going to get it back and, like always, she always interrupts my week. I never interrupt hers.
Speaker 2:Always she interrupts my week. Don't do that, don't start. Don't start with that voice, don't start with that voice. Don't, do it, don't do it, I'm just trying to have her.
Speaker 1:Don't do it. But my overall no, it was good, it was cool. Nothing, it was a bounce back week for me mentally, so it was good. Yeah, had another good therapy session today.
Speaker 2:Got some things in perspective for you.
Speaker 1:You know? Yeah, you know, and it's nice when you can talk about. That can relate to what you say.
Speaker 2:Yes, you know it's comforting.
Speaker 1:When they know that you alright.
Speaker 2:When they know what.
Speaker 1:That you alright, that you just you trying to work through it the best way you can. Today she was like so we're not, oh, so we're using Coping skills this week. We wasn't dealing with it, we just coping in distraction. I said look here.
Speaker 2:I don't need you to come for me. Don't come for me, cause I didn't sit for you. Don't come for me.
Speaker 1:Yes, I've been coping and distracting, but it's been working.
Speaker 2:It's got me through. It's got me through Until it comes up unexpectedly over something small.
Speaker 1:I said I have not been triggered. Yeah, that's what she's trying to say Until something triggers it and then you go, don't pile everything, don't trigger me today Because I have not been triggered. Okay.
Speaker 2:I think that's the point she was making.
Speaker 1:My only issue? Uh-oh, my only issue, and it's not even when you know my therapy is great. My only issue, okay, is these damn teenagers and these summer people in the gym. Oh gosh, they got to work.
Speaker 2:Workout too, babe. What are they supposed to do?
Speaker 1:But they're not working out it's social club.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, they're getting some workout in while they socialize.
Speaker 1:Get your ass out my way. I told my trainer today. I said look here, man. I almost walked out the gym and walked over to another gym to sign up. Bye, Goodbye, I'm sick of it.
Speaker 2:Well, as soon as the renovations are done at the gym that I want to go to, we can be over there.
Speaker 1:I'm so tired of these people on these machines, on their phone. Then they got the lighters, but then they doing sets of 50.
Speaker 2:Bye, Marie. Who's doing sets of 50?
Speaker 1:The people, the people 50?.
Speaker 2:You're so dramatic.
Speaker 1:The people on ABBA Agductor and Leg Extension machines.
Speaker 2:But those are really popular machines.
Speaker 1:Babe Doing 10 pounds Look here.
Speaker 2:You know, those machines are always going to be.
Speaker 1:I am a gym regular People know me.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I know they know us.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm not standing for this. I expect luxury treatment Okay.
Speaker 2:Now you sound like my friend, but she was like this is my gym it is no, babe, this is the gym you attend, it's not your gym. Look here. She was like highly offended that they were like busy. She was like this is my gym, like half the staff talked to me okay, that means nothing at this point.
Speaker 1:They might as well give me a shirt so I can tell me that, oh, this machine is actually down for maintenance, and then do my sets and walk away.
Speaker 2:Well, if you get there early enough, maybe you could take the signs and the ones that say and just tag the things you want to use and then, when it's time for you to use, just be that asshole to take the sign off and then sit down and use it and then put the sign back right, because you know, I gave him when I finally got a machine that's I'm gonna get.
Speaker 1:I'll say you know what? Um, she came over. Oh, did you? I just got here, I was three sets in, I lied, she walked away I just got here, it don't matter, it don't matter I just got Like I was on the squat rack.
Speaker 2:What was it On?
Speaker 1:Thursday here we go people and the guy was like, and the guy was like.
Speaker 2:He was like, are you almost done? And I was like I was sitting there. I was like I'm not. He was like looking at me like are you sure, because you're just kind of sitting there, I'm on a break. It's like I'm on a break okay, yeah, it's like. I'm on a break.
Speaker 1:It's like that video. I said to you um, uh, what was it? It was like it's oh, it's summertime. I said don't, don't, nobody waste. They said something no one wastes more time or space in the gym than somebody in there who ain't really about working out in a power lifter what?
Speaker 2:oh, because of the brakes. Yes, she's.
Speaker 1:He was like I gotta deal with all the women on here doing five pounds for 50 reps. And then here go the power lifter, but on the same bench for an hour and a half because he gotta take his seven minute breaks, sir, I said. He said, sir, I have a job to get to. I'm trying to get this over with there is.
Speaker 2:if you need to bench, you can always use the floor.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow. There is always you wouldn't have you wouldn't have, you, wouldn't have improvised. I can't be mad, though, Cause uh, it was. I forgot what day it was.
Speaker 2:It was squat rack and she wanted that squat rack and she just stood out to a pub and she said I said get on my nerves and you're gonna wait because I'm not done. Well, like, okay. So today I was. I couldn't find um any of like the free benches, you know, the ones that you move around, and all the benches at the dumbbells were, like were full, except for the one bench it's like that big, wide one, I think, where you can do the decline.
Speaker 2:One is it that where you can do the crutches and stuff too, and so decline preps yeah, and so I was like I don't want to be that person to use it for something no, I don't care no more, but I had to do what I had to do.
Speaker 2:I set up my camera. Homeboy was there doing his bench and he was looking like are you gonna have enough room? I was like we're gonna make it work as you go up, I'm gonna go down and then, when you go down, I'm gonna go up. Because he was looking at me like she finna be all in my way. I was like I don't know what you want me to do I'm gonna try to every time you press.
Speaker 2:When you press, I'm gonna go down to do my squat and then we're gonna switch you know what?
Speaker 1:and the thing is is that, like, I really am one of those guys where I don't want to make women feel uncomfortable, right so I try not to women. Don't care about making y'all feel uncomfortable at all, and that's the point I was getting to. I try to be polite. I try to be like excuse me, excuse me how many steps you have. And it's like I get it. I get it.
Speaker 1:You don't want, you don't want to be approached yeah but when I'm not, and I understand you don't know that what I'm yeah, what you're coming over here for yeah but, ma'am, I guarantee you I don't care, I just need you to get the hell off the goddamn machine.
Speaker 2:I mean in in a scenario I don't really think you're about to come up to me to talk to me. You're coming up to me to ask me a question, babe babe, let me tell you, this is when I text you.
Speaker 1:she was literally watching Netflix. She wasn't even working out, she had Netflix on her phone. She had to finish that part of the movie before she could move on, and then she'll look around, see a smile, look at her, and then you know, and she didn't.
Speaker 2:And she went right back to watching her movie and then, when she made eye contact with me, she did. She did, Ma'am, you and your five pounds take it, and then she just got it, and that's another thing.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, they don't wipe.
Speaker 2:They ain't wiping down nothing wait a minute, you, you mentioned that and they just marie, they about nothing, they don't wipe down, they leave the weights on what the weights are and then don't wipe shit down like nothing. I said how you just go? You literally just got up and walked away and left 1900 pounds on there and you want me to unload it, wipe it down, reset it, just rude just a bunch of untrained heathens, or the ones who go to the squat racks and take all them damn dumbbells over there.
Speaker 2:I know it was a woman I know it was a woman I know it was you know I know it was especially because it's only a single dumbbell.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a woman and she's struggling to get it over there so she couldn't take it back she struggled.
Speaker 2:She couldn't take it back.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but what we got today? Blue Cheese.
Speaker 2:It's an R2-Sense episode.
Speaker 1:R2-Sense, r2.
Speaker 2:Reactions seems to be you all's favorite, so we make sure to give y'all one episode dedicated to just reactions a month.
Speaker 1:I know the real that I really am the favorite they. They come from my hot tape hey, coming to see you, otis first of all, I'm david, you're otis, let's get this. I might get. You might be blue, you might be blue, but you damn you ain't, I'm not. You know, I'm not David, I'm more, I'm more a cornbread, a Paul, yeah, are you? I damn sure ain't, otis. Oh, otis, okay, you know what people this has been.
Speaker 2:I was just looking at you and I was like I remember when you used to have your ear pierced and I could see the little hole. I think you should do that again.
Speaker 1:I thought about getting my ears pierced again.
Speaker 2:No, not ears. I didn't say ears. Yeah, I thought I said ear.
Speaker 1:I thought about it. You know I'm older now I think I can handle the responsibility of an ear.
Speaker 2:When I was I think I can handle the responsibility of an earring now, what You're fucking 40.
Speaker 1:I'm not 40, ma'am, ma'am.
Speaker 2:If you're closer to 40 than you are at 39. You think you can handle the responsibility of cleaning it and like not hitting it.
Speaker 1:I can do it.
Speaker 2:You can do it now.
Speaker 1:What I can't handle is my daughter, dad, dad, what Touching it? I don do it.
Speaker 2:You can do it now. What I can't handle is my daughter dead Dead. What touching it? I don't think she would.
Speaker 1:I thought about it, but I'm cheap. I'm going to go to Claire's. I can't afford it.
Speaker 2:I can do it, babe. Oh no, Babe, you know I've pierced ears before, yeah and they didn't come out great. So go ahead. Who pierced it? I pier peers and they didn't come out great. No, I want to know. I don't know. Babe, I just said that. Stop saying things out of your ass. You sound silly. Okay, both of my piercing jobs are very successful. I think he's like in his late 60s now and he still has that earring.
Speaker 1:Okay, look here. It's time for us to get back to what we ought to be doing.
Speaker 2:Being kind to one another? Shut up. So what we ought to be doing being kind to one another, shut up so silly. All right, guys, let's go ahead and hop into our two streets, okay.
Speaker 1:Thanks, you and me.
Speaker 2:Let's start here. Let's see the internet in the house has been terrible lately.
Speaker 1:Oh wow, let's get a party.
Speaker 2:All right, ready? Am I the asshole for refusing to let my ex-husband's wife homeschool my children? Okay, okay, I'm a 31-year-old female and I share two children a nine-year-old boy and an eight-year-old girl with my ex-husband Aaron. Aaron's cheating is what ended our marriage, and before long he had moved in with Nicole, who's 34, and her children, who are 11, 10, 8, and 6.
Speaker 2:Aaron and Nicole have a two-year-old together and they're expecting another child. Even before Aaron and Nicole met, she homeschooled all of her children while my kids attend public school. This was mentioned as a problem before they were even married, but I ignored them both. Now this has come up again and they are being a thorn in my side about it. Nicole said that it's unfair for her children to see my children go to school while hers do not. She told me her kids have become jealous and it's causing issues for her parenting and for her and Aaron's family. I told her this was not my problem and she needed to figure out how to manage that on her own, as this is the life of blended families. Not everything will be the same or equal for the kids from different marriages.
Speaker 2:Facts Aaron asked me to homeschool a few times and I told him that I would not even entertain the idea. He even asked the kids who were worried when they came to me about it. They didn't want to leave their school, their friends or their teachers, and they didn't want to stay home all day with Nicole's kids. I reassured them that I would not be saying yes to any type of homeschooling for them. Now Nicole and Aaron are on a mission to make me agree to Nicole's homeschooling my kids alongside hers Apparently. They have the two-year-old starting into some form of pre-K homeschooling and they feel that it's only fair for my kids to join in on that too.
Speaker 2:I said absolutely not. I even had my lawyer send their lawyer a letter officially stating my position on this. My lawyer has also documented everything. They asked their lawyer to take this back to court and get a judge to overrule me. But their lawyer told them this Thank you, and to keep Nicole from playing a bigger role in the lives of our children and to prevent sibling bonding between Nicole's kids and mine, thank you. I told them that I have many reasons to say no and that they just needed to accept it, and I stopped replying altogether. But since school ended for the summer, I've been inundated with pressure from them over this. They are worried that I'll send the kids to school in September as planned, which will happen. I feel like the kids wanting to go to school should also count, and I told Aaron this before. But am I the asshole for not being willing to try? Is it really so hard to believe that I want my kids to attend school normally. Am I the asshole?
Speaker 1:No, Absolutely not. Fuck Aaron and Nicole.
Speaker 2:Why is that always your go-to Fuck Aaron and Nicole? Why is that always your go to fuck Aaron and Nicole really?
Speaker 1:really look here. What it is is that Nicole don't want to have to keep answering these questions and letting her own kids down well, because the kids.
Speaker 2:Well, because her kids are seeing that they get to leave every day. Her kids are talking to Aaron's kids.
Speaker 1:Well, because her kids are seeing that they get to leave every day, her kids are talking to aaron's kids, and aaron's kids are telling her how much fun school is and that you and that I actually get a.
Speaker 2:You get a chance to get away from your mama or or that they have friends and stuff at school and since they're homeschooled, you know we don't know what the dynamic is, but like her kids said, we don't want to be at home all day, so the kids are probably being homeschooled and then they're home all day and they're like we don't want to be cooped up in the house with you and nicole and my dad they don't want to be with yeah, we don't. We don't want to be up in here with y'all like that.
Speaker 1:That's a big family dynamic he had before.
Speaker 2:Before. You guys had a family dynamic. We, we were a whole family.
Speaker 1:It's diabolical for the homewrecker to complain about something. How do you know she's?
Speaker 2:a homewrecker Because Aaron cheated on. Oh, you're right, I forgot about that part.
Speaker 1:It's diabolical for the homewrecker to complain about interrupting family dynamics. You are. She needed a father for her children and now she has one, and the other kids have to go to school because they don't trust you right, and he's so happened to be tethered.
Speaker 2:So I mean, what can?
Speaker 1:you do, but you're not.
Speaker 2:But you're not. You're not an asshole, because you still have to do what's in the best interest for your children. And aaron then was your kid before y'all. You and nicole came together to be his one. You and your ex-wife were together as one and y'all agree. Obviously, you agreed that your children going to school was perfectly fine. But now you married to Nicole and Nicole is planting things different in your head Now, all of a sudden it's like, oh no, I don't want my kids going to school. Well too bad, so sad.
Speaker 1:Now we've got a problem.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we. We've already disrupted them by you leaving. We're not going to take their schooling away too. Look here, no, look here, I'm not doing it, I'm not doing it.
Speaker 1:I wish nothing but the best for the children and nothing but agony and pain.
Speaker 2:Bye.
Speaker 1:For Aaron and Nicole. Bye, and they cheating asses.
Speaker 2:Bye. Well, we don't know. Nicole was cheating. Well you're right. Aaron is the one that messed up.
Speaker 1:But Aaron's a homewrecker. Okay, all right, I wouldn't say something, but I was told she gave me a list of things I can't say.
Speaker 2:I did not give him a list of things I cannot say I did not. Do not sit up here and lie. I don't know why you like to lie. I think it's like cooking breakfast for my niece and nephew. I'm 36. My sister's 34. She's recently moved into my house about two months ago with her two kids, a seven year old boy and a four year old little girl After she ended a really bad relationship.
Speaker 2:I've always been an early ish riser and like to get up and make myself some breakfast around seven or eight am. Nothing spectacular, just whatever I'm feeling for the day. When my sister moved in, I realized quickly that she liked to sleep. In Some days she was up as late as 1 pm. I gave her the benefit of the doubt, since I knew how hard it was for her breakup and what she's going through. Since my sister slept so late daily she wouldn't get up and take care of her kids.
Speaker 2:I got into a routine with my niece and nephew that basically whatever I cooked for myself for breakfast, I'd make enough for them as well. Until the other morning I woke up and had an urge to make huevos rancheros. The kids immediately started complaining that they did not want to eat that and that's not something they want. And they wanted something different. I was nice and ended up making them pancakes, since it's not their fault that their mom is really struggling. The next morning I was making breakfast potatoes and eggs but all I heard was we don't want that, we want something else. So again I obliged, so again I obliged. Finally, after three mornings of unwanted food critics getting a separate meal, I finally told them I'm no longer cooking two different meals for breakfast. If you don't like what I'm making, go ask your mom to get up and make you something else. So they went upstairs to wake her, but she still didn't come downstairs until after 1 pm.
Speaker 2:The kids immediately started complaining that I quote unquote refused to feed them, and my sister was pissed. She started in about how they need to be fed by a certain time and a bunch of other things that she said to try to intentionally hurt me. I snapped and I told her look, I know you're depressed, but wake up and take care of your fucking kids instead of expecting me to do it. She got quiet after that. Look, I know you're depressed, but wake up and take care of your fucking kids Instead of expecting me to do it. She got quiet after that and is still giving me the cold shoulder, but I know she's expecting me to apologize. Am I the asshole Hell? No, absolutely not. Fuck her. Here you go.
Speaker 1:Not the kids.
Speaker 2:Those are your nieces and your nephews, not your children, and responsibilities.
Speaker 1:Right say it again they are your niece and your nephew.
Speaker 2:I'm already doing you a solid by letting you be in my house said again you coming to my house is already disrupting my routine.
Speaker 1:Wait a minute.
Speaker 2:I just don't think I don't think people be really understanding that like even, even if it's family. Yes, I've opened my, my, my home to you. I've opened my resources to you. That's fine.
Speaker 2:whatever, I'm trying to help you, but just like if I came to your residence and you've opened up your residence to me, just my presence there has altered your routine in some way, shape or form. Now, if you bring kids into it, okay, come on, come on. I'm trying to be courteous and I'm trying to be empathetic and understanding, because I know you're having a hard time and you are clearly depressed Preach Bishop, but you still have children to attend to Preach Bishop, I'm not these children's parent.
Speaker 1:That's a word they need to hear. Bye, DeMille.
Speaker 2:I'm not these children's parent. I was doing you a solid by feeding the kids, so at least 1 pm going on an intermittent fasting that they didn't ask for. Okay, come on now. I can't with you. You're doing way too much, but no, you're not the asshole.
Speaker 2:And then for you to turn around and get upset and then tell me they need to be fed by a certain time. Well, what time was you feeding them prior to you being depressed? You know what I'm finna say. That's what I want to know. I know I would have been like so what time did you feed them prior to your depression? You know what I'm finna say. That's what I wanna know. I would've been like so. What time did you feed him Prior to your depression? You know what I'm gonna say. What are you at yet what? That's probably who she left. That's probably who she left. I'm uncle.
Speaker 1:AKA Funkle. I'm the fun uncle, I'm Funkle, I don't do breakfast.
Speaker 2:What if I didn't cook at all? What if I didn't make anything at all? The babies wouldn't eat until after 1pm.
Speaker 1:What if I wanted a bear club choice from Black Bear this morning?
Speaker 2:I would absolutely leave my house and go get one, because I don't have anything. I'm leaving my house and I'm going to go sit there and eat it peacefully, because I don't have any responsibility that calls me this early in the morning, except for myself, yeah.
Speaker 2:So not only am I allowing you to stay here, I've also allowed you to take time and be depressed yeah, because I'm trying to, because I understand what you're going yeah, I understand what you're going through, but don't like, instead of being upset and saying like, oh, they need to be fed a certain time, a simple you know what I do? Apologize. I'm so grateful for how you know, you've been helping me. I'm, I'm, I'm trying my best. I'm gonna just try to like get up and make like you know, let me, is that, is that a woman thing?
Speaker 1:what? What she did, that's a woman thing. What? Because I feel like men understand that what needs to be done still has to be done I don't think.
Speaker 2:I don't think that's a woman thing I think men go through depressive uh stages too, where it makes them unable to do things okay, like even though you know that I think any anybody, man or woman and you. You should understand that there there was things that needed to be done when you were going through your depressive stage. That didn't always get done, but you knew it needed to get done.
Speaker 1:But it wasn't to this extent.
Speaker 2:It wasn't to this extent, but I'm just saying, based off of what you said, is this like a woman thing? It's not a woman, it's a human thing.
Speaker 1:But I'm saying, even when I was depressed, the important things that needed to be done got done.
Speaker 2:Well, that's also because you liked shelter and you liked to eat. So she don't like her kids. She do like her kids, but she already got shelter and she knows there's food there. So I guess, those are the two things that she knows her kids Are in a safe environment. If you, if she didn't have those things, she would probably have no choice.
Speaker 2:But to try to like Manage through her depression. You know Better than what she's doing, but the kids are In a safe environment. Everybody has a roof Over their head. I'm in a trusted person's, you know, space, space. So yes, if I can have my my moment, I'm going to take my moment. I think that's a human thing.
Speaker 1:Let me just say this Like I said at the top of the episode, this week I've been coping and distracting. She needs to cope and distract. Okay, get that shit done.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean. Well, she is now because her brother said, because her brother said I'm not going to be and he's not the asshole, I'm not going to be making a special request.
Speaker 1:And I wouldn't apologize.
Speaker 2:Especially because it sounds like he doesn't have children.
Speaker 1:The thing is it seemed like he sat there. He sat there and he was letting her get it off her chest and he was like I ain't going to say nothing or whatever, whatever. And then she pushed the up. What you're not gonna do is be disrespectful to me in my home right, you're in my home. And when he reached his limit and told her the truth, then her feelings got hurt and now she's being silent because she want to apologize. I wouldn't apologize, I'm not gonna apologize. Dwell in it, bath in it, breathe it in. I can't enjoy it. Goodbye, enjoy it.
Speaker 2:Um, okay, here we go. Oh, I pressed a little button there. My friend said that I owe her half my inheritance because her family quote unquote didn't have that.
Speaker 1:Oh wow, okay.
Speaker 2:So my great aunt passed away and left me a decent inheritance Nothing wild, but enough to pay off my student loans and set aside for a little bit of savings. I told my friend we'll call her Rachel. Over lunch. She got quiet and then said wow, must be nice. I bet you help out your friends who weren't so lucky growing up. I laughed and I said something like I mean, I'll probably treat my friends to dinner more often. She stared at me serious, dead serious, and said no, like actually help. We've known each other forever. I think it'd be fair for you to split it with me. I thought she was joking. She wasn't.
Speaker 2:She then brought up all the times that she covered my coffee in college and said this is just the universe's way of evening out the score in college. And said this is just the universe's way of evening out the score. Needless to say, I didn't share a dime. She blocked me on Instagram and told all of our friends that I ghosted her after I got rich. Sorry, rachel, the only thing I'm splitting is the check with people who actually support me. Am I an asshole? Not at all. This is hilarious. I think that. I think it's hilarious that people would think that they're entitled to something that's really not theirs. And just because we friends you won't have. She didn't say that's like. She didn't say can you help me with my car note? She didn't say can you help me with a bill? She said I think it's only fair that you split it with me, girl.
Speaker 1:That that's like, okay, that's like, put it this way, that's like my brother, right? My brother and I, the beautiful Lisa, we have different fathers, right? Let's just say, his father left him with a lot of money, right? Hey bro, we got the same mama. You got to give me half that. That sounds ridiculous.
Speaker 2:We have the same mama. Her aunt left her something.
Speaker 1:Right, her blood-related relative left her something that had nothing to do with you, mm-hmm. And so now you got mad because she won't help you.
Speaker 2:And then you're going to block and ghost her out like she ghosted you and told all their friends, oh, like she basically acting brand new now that she got money.
Speaker 1:So she got money and now she People love to play victim, and Audacity is being bought in bulk.
Speaker 2:Because it's on sale. I told you it's like 99% off.
Speaker 1:At this point I don't even think they want to Costco, no more. I think they going to work Costco if they survive. For them they done moved up.
Speaker 2:They cut out the middleman in Audacity and they went straight to the stores.
Speaker 1:They going straight to the stores to buy their audacity, because this is wild.
Speaker 2:And you know what's wild is that?
Speaker 1:people are serious. I can see. If you got something I'll be like go ahead and get my half who me yeah.
Speaker 2:That's my half. I mean we live in California. As long as the assets are going directly to my side of the account, it's not considered marital.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's not how that works at all it is.
Speaker 2:I looked it up. It's only like that in Texas.
Speaker 1:That's not how it works at all. That's wild. No, you're not that hoe.
Speaker 2:No, you're not the asshole.
Speaker 1:Honestly, she did you a favor because it seemed like maybe she just kept you around because she was waiting for when she'd be able to benefit off of you.
Speaker 2:See, and here's the thing, it's like, yes, okay, if you guys have been best friends, if she knows that you're in a tight spot or something, she would probably, on her own, be like you know what? I do have a little bit of something, let me help you with that. She would probably do that on her own Right. But the fact that you coming to her and saying you should split it with me and it's the universe's way of evening it out when you covered coffees for me in college Girl, covering coffees and covering house bills are completely that's completely different.
Speaker 1:And then you and you making yourself entitled to something that was left for me from my family is wild and my thing is in my eyes, she was a fake friend from the beginning, because if you're only tagging along for the ride for the chance you might be able to get something. Yeah, I mean I. I mean maybe it's just me.
Speaker 2:I don't, I don't expect nothing but friendship, right, and if a friend wants to help me, like, okay, I appreciate that, but I expect nothing, I'm not gonna ask you for it I'm not gonna demand that you give me, if my, if my best friend won the lottery right now and she hit Bye, she's giving us half.
Speaker 2:If my best friend hit the lottery for a hundred mil right now yeah, and I know that she has a hundred million dollars I'm not going to ask her for anything. I'm not going to ask her for anything. Now. Are you going to expect something?
Speaker 1:That's different that's different.
Speaker 2:That's different, that's a lot different. But I would never be like, okay, like, but you guys have a hundred million dollars. It's like the one from last week when he was telling his brother yeah, but you have no kids, so you can at least give me three hundred dollars a month for mine but I would not go to my best friend and be like okay, so you can't spare 50 000, but you just want like, okay, so you can't spare 50,000, but you just want 100 million, you can't spare 50,000.
Speaker 2:I would never do that, but I honestly believe our friends if they want enough oh, they would I think they would, because we would be that way like if I, if I want 100 million dollars, I would. I would call my friend and be like look, I don't know. I don't know what y'all situation is right now, but I knowall are responsible adults, so it can't be that bad. However, I'm going to send y'all a check because you're my bestie and I love you.
Speaker 1:You're doing it wrong. I won't send no check.
Speaker 2:Why.
Speaker 1:You got to pay it off yourself. If you send them a check, then they got to pay taxes on it.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, that's right, you're right, I would just pay their house off.
Speaker 1:That's it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, pay their house off. Cause if, like, I'll pay the, I'll pay your house off and like, whatever your, that's probably like your biggest, your biggest debt is your house, right, and that frees up everything else. Cause imagine, imagine having your home and you don't have to pay your mortgage.
Speaker 1:Oh, 15 more years, my goodness, 15 more years, great I Mortgage. Oh, 15 more years.
Speaker 2:My goodness, 15 more years, great I'm going to try to get it down to 10. Okay, here we go. Am I the asshole for dropping out of my friend's wedding after she sent me a 47 item bridesmaids requirements list? Women is wild.
Speaker 1:Women be tripping.
Speaker 2:So my friend Sarah is getting married in a few months and she asked me to be a bridesmaid back in October. I was honored and I said yes, of course, fast forward to last week. She sends the entire bridal party a google doc titled bridesmaid expectations and requirements. I thought it would be like wear this color. Here's the dresses I like. Maybe some basic timeline stuff. Nope 47 numbered items 47. Here are some highlights One mandatory spray tans. She's booking appointments for everyone $400. Hair and makeup non-negotiable. Can't post any photos from the event without her approval. And, my personal favorite, we're expected to contribute $200 each toward her bachelorette party, on top of planning and paying for the entire thing.
Speaker 2:Item number 47 was literally remember. This is my day and your job is to make me shine. I texted her saying that this was beyond what I could commit to and I needed to step down. She called me crying, saying that real friends would do anything, even if it takes some sacrifice. Now more than half of our friend group is asking if they can see the list, because they just don't believe that it's real. Am I the asshole for backing out? Not at all. No, not at all. Uh-uh, I can't do it, not at all.
Speaker 1:I can't do it. Real friends will understand that they happiness ain't your responsibility. Can't do it. I'm sorry that your happiness ain't their responsibility. That's why I did a wedding. If you send me an itemized list of what you expect and you expect me to come out of my pocket for for everything, so I did a wedding.
Speaker 2:When did I do that wedding? Was that January?
Speaker 1:I think I forgot.
Speaker 2:I did a wedding up in the mountains when it was like snowing, like snow wing, Okay, Like snow in snowing Um, and the bride the the sister-in-law, cause it was her brother who was getting married. So the sister, um, his sister was the wedding planner and so she was telling me about the lists and the wants and stuff that the bride wanted. Mind you, they got married in the mountains when it was snowing. She wanted everyone in open-toed shoes with no stockings Outside.
Speaker 1:In the snow.
Speaker 2:In the snow.
Speaker 1:I know.
Speaker 2:Where it was snowing. I got all that and she was not budging and all the women in the room were like is there any way we can talk to her, like the videographer? And I almost got stuck like just coming down the aisle we couldn't even get like all of our equipment up because it was snowing and then it was under all the trees. So when the sun started to come out, it was melting and it basically was raining and the ground was slippery. They had the venue. There was a venue that was on site where everything could be transferred inside. She was hell bent on. We are still getting married outside.
Speaker 2:The planner was like it's almost like raining outside because we're under all the trees. The chairs were getting wet. She said you guys have to go out there and wipe down the chairs before it starts. She was telling her. But the chairs are sitting under the trees, which are still, like you know, raining from the snow. And then the chairs we had to shovel to even put there because the snow. She did not budge, not one bit. She was like it's my day and I want to be buried outside. You guys can deal with the snow. I said, well, I'm going to finish my job and.
Speaker 2:I'm going to leave because if I slip and break my ass on this ground, I feel like the bride should be allowed to make any reasonable requests.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, because that was, I mean, like the wedding thing. There was a whole building. We could have moved everything into the building and it still would have been beautiful. They decorated the building, everything. She was like I'm not having it, it's my wedding day and things are going to go the way that I want it, just like here. When she said, remember, this is my day and it's your job to make me shine, did she talk to God about the snow Shut up, babe. Did she talk to God about the snow, maybe he didn't, maybe that's what it is.
Speaker 2:Maybe he didn't get the list. She just sent him the list.
Speaker 1:He didn't get the list.
Speaker 2:Shut up, baby. He didn't get the list. Jesus didn't know. You didn't send him his Google Doc. How was he supposed to know? That's wild.
Speaker 1:That's crazy. It's JC33.
Speaker 2:JC33?. Hey y'all.
Speaker 1:At gmailcom.
Speaker 2:You're so ridiculous. No, you're not the asshole, Because, okay, yes, there's responsibilities that bridesmaids have right. But you can't be taking advantage of people. Oh, most people do. Oh, of course. There are some women who really think like it's my wedding day, so, like here I am in the middle and everything else is going to revolve around me. It's no different from how y'all act on y'all birthday. No.
Speaker 1:It's just greater.
Speaker 2:It's just greater, that's different, because with your wedding day, it's not just you, it's you in a whole, it's not Not just you. Your birthday, your birthday was the day you were birthed.
Speaker 1:You came into the world on your own, so you can be about yourself as a bride.
Speaker 2:Oh, I wasn't even about that life Like I literally canceled our wedding, like months before.
Speaker 1:Because your mama got in your skin.
Speaker 2:No Well, because I was just over the whole thing, let me talk to you.
Speaker 1:As a bride, uh-huh, when you were planning the big thing, yes, were you taking me into account absolutely?
Speaker 2:he wasn't. Oh my gosh, maurice, you are such a favorite teller stop the cat I ran everything by you. What was your? What was your response? What did you tell me?
Speaker 1:whatever, you want babe.
Speaker 2:No, you told me, just tell. Just tell me the time and place and I'll show up that's it because I, so I tried to involve, I tried to involve you because I didn't believe it was gonna happen I tried to involve you and you said just tell me the time and place and I'll show up. And then that just was pissing me off too.
Speaker 2:Oh well, you, you know you should I was like wow, maybe I shouldn't go through this with this marriage, if this is how he's gonna act before you should tell me I should have looked at that as a red flag really you.
Speaker 1:You should have told me Stay strong. Bye.
Speaker 2:Stay strong. Goodbye, yeah, but anyway, you're not. You're not the asshole.
Speaker 1:Is she not? No, no, I would have left too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, ain't nobody got time for that Girl, please Goodbye.
Speaker 1:Be like just like Nicole and sleep with her husband.
Speaker 2:What, nicole from the story? Bye maurice, you got one more uh yeah, we can do one more.
Speaker 1:We think we got time for one more. Let's see the archive.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to see which one we can do for the last one. Let's do, we'll do this one. Okay, ready, I'm waiting on you, let Okay. Am I the asshole for how I responded when my husband asked me to pay for our stepson, my stepson's surgery? Oh, wow, okay. I've been with my husband for about five years. He has a son from his previous marriage. Let's call him Ethan.
Speaker 2:Ethan moved in with us when he was 16. From the start, things were very difficult. Ethan was hostile toward me. He never liked me and had kept me at an arm's length and consistently hurt my feelings with his mean-spirited, offensive comments about my age or living situation. He made it clear that he did not want me in his life. While his dad was struggling financially, I offered to help pay for college. I did this because I wanted to help, but my husband's response was you can't buy your way into being his mom. Oh shit, I'm out. That hurt me a lot, but OK, I respected their choice and I didn't push the matter.
Speaker 2:Ethan recently got sick and now needs surgery. He's been sick for four months and was using medication until now. He needs surgery. He reached out to his dad asking for financial help. My husband came to me and asked if I'd be willing to contribute, hoping this might be a chance to rebuild a relationship. I said no. He said this could be the perfect opportunity to make things right between Ethan and I. I said I wouldn't want to buy my way into being his mom. I said I wouldn't want to buy my way into being his mom. He didn't take it well. He said I was being cruel and petty, and now he's even saying that he's considering reconsidering our marriage because he thinks that I should put the pettiness aside and help Ethan regardless. But I'm still refusing. Am I the asshole?
Speaker 1:No, no, no, not at all. Look here as as, as a board member, a sitting chair. Board members of the petty committee.
Speaker 2:But he's sick. I don't give a damn that he's sick.
Speaker 1:I've tried to help. You've been nothing but a little shit to me since your mama was replaced. I ain't the reason your daddy and your mama fell out, but you've been giving me that shit this whole time. I tried to help you with college and your daddy said this bullshit to me. Now, all of a sudden, you need some help medically.
Speaker 2:Now you want no sweetheart, I wouldn't want to try to buy my wife into your life.
Speaker 1:I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything. We know you don't like me. I don't want you to feel like you owe me.
Speaker 2:I don't want you. If you don't like me, you don't like my money.
Speaker 1:So you know it is what it is. I'm sorry. I can pray, for my bishop does great prayers. I'll give you his number. Maybe your dad can do a bake drive. A bake drive, maurice, yeah, a toy drive, or something you know. Bake sale, gofundme are popular nowadays. These things are popular among the youth, you know.
Speaker 2:I can't with you. You're so terrible.
Speaker 1:I mean, come on all this time, Probably since he was 16. I can understand being mad at your parents for that and all that, but you're and I tried.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's not like she didn't try. And the way the dad responded with you can't buy. I wasn't trying to buy my way into his life. I was literally just trying to be helpful because, as a parent.
Speaker 1:That's what I would want to do. And the thing about the college thing it's not even so much that she was trying to help the boy, she was trying to help her husband, right, right, when he felt like he was actually fulfilling whatever duties he felt. So don't turn my money down for this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then try to turn my money up because? But the way the dad is thinking it's like college, life-threatening, possible surgery or whatever. Well, you know what people?
Speaker 1:life comes at you fast bye marie stupid and so you, life comes at you fast, so you have to learn how to treat people correctly, because you never know when you're going to need someone. Now I bet you if 16-year-old Ethan knew that when Ethan was older he would need whatever her name is her money to be for a surgery, he probably would have behaved a little differently. But since hindsight is 20-20 and you can't get it back.
Speaker 2:Well, he can't imagine that when he was 16. Yeah, he was 16. Like he can't imagine that when he was 16. Yeah, he was he's 16.
Speaker 1:Like he was going through it. See, the thing is people is that apparently, not only does audacity come for free, being nice is free as well. Yeah, being a good person don't cost you nothing.
Speaker 2:Being a good person does not cost you anything.
Speaker 1:So, since you want to be a little shit, stay strong, stay strong. Stay strong, stay strong. I'm going to pray for you. I can't you in my prayers, I can't you in my prayers.
Speaker 2:I can't All. Right, guys. This has been another episode of Life After I Do Podcast. If you are not doing so already, we would greatly appreciate it if you gave us a follow, a like, a share on all of our social media platforms. You can follow us at Life After I Do Podcast on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube.
Speaker 1:Only Pants. We're back on, only Pants.
Speaker 2:Okay, only Pants. Okay, I forgot. Instagram, tiktok, youtube and Facebook. Only Pants, okay, I forgot.
Speaker 1:Instagram TikTok.
Speaker 2:YouTube and Facebook Only Pants. And Only Pants and Flip and then also shout out to us we just hit our first 1K on YouTube. Woohoo, thanks everybody. We appreciate y'all. We really appreciate it. We got our first 1,000 followers on YouTube Very exciting. We're almost at that 20K mark on TikTok, so don't forget to like us on TikTok. Follow us on TikTok Instagram the whole bit guys Like. We just appreciate all the love and support that we've gotten, as y'all support us.
Speaker 1:y'all also, through connection, support our daughter. We appreciate that.
Speaker 2:Goodbye. Yes, so yeah, thanks again, guys, and we will see you all next Wednesday and we'll stay strong. Until then, Peace booskies, Peace booskies.
