Life After I Do Podcast
Marriage and relationships can be tough. You may feel like you’re the only one struggling but you’re not. Life After I do is a weekly podcast where Morice and Kynesha, a black married millennial couple, share their experiences and advice on everything from kids and family to intimacy and connection. Noting is off limits.
In their 21 years together and 7 years of marriage, Morice and Kynesha have learned a lot about what it takes to make a relationship work. They know the importance of communication, trust and commitment. They also know it’s okay to not have it all figured out.
Join them every Wednesday as they talk about their own journey of “Life After I do”.
Life After I Do Podcast
She Asked
The dating rules are changing fast. In this episode, Nesha G and Moelethal dive into the rising trend of women making the first move—from flirty DMs to full-on marriage proposals.
They explore how rejection, confidence, and clarity all play a role when women step up in the dating game. Plus, they unpack stats from dating apps and challenge traditional ideas around proposals.
If you’re dating, partnered, or just fascinated by relationship shifts, this one’s for you.
🎙️ Don’t miss these weekly episodes breaking down real-life love with honesty and edge.
when men approach women, it's not so foreign for men to have a level of anxiety or something for being rejected, because you don't know how that woman's going to react. You don't know what her rejection is going to look like. Right, and not all women handle men who are approaching them with kits and gloves Okay. But on the flip side, when you have a woman who's more aggressive, more assertive, who approaches a man if he's not interested, I do think that men are different in the way that women are, where men will still try to let her down a bit more gently, I mean if the rejection the rejection is not going to be the same at all.
Speaker 1:Hey everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Life After I Do Podcast. You already know the spiel If you've been here this long. You're here with Kynesha and Maurice. Kynesha and Maurice yes, I mean Mario Molito, he's so silly. Nisha G and Molito.
Speaker 2:It's Maurice Molito. Hey Boos, nisha G and Molito, it's Maurice.
Speaker 1:Molito, hey Booskies, Hi Booskies.
Speaker 2:How you feeling today, how you?
Speaker 1:doing Much better how you been you doing better. I'm doing much better Okay.
Speaker 2:Did you get you a soda? No, I didn't get a soda.
Speaker 1:Soda Actually.
Speaker 2:I had a soda. Like my friend Eric said always fix your problems, Get you a soda.
Speaker 1:Shouts out to Eric.
Speaker 2:Get you a soda.
Speaker 1:Get you a good. It's got to be cold. A good soda, a good soda, it's got to be cold.
Speaker 2:A good soda he's like it's so good, I miss him too. We're going to hang, we're supposed to hang out soon or whatever they say yeah, but yeah, so another week. Another week.
Speaker 1:Another week.
Speaker 2:Boy has it been.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, it hasn't been a bad week, has it Not for you? Not for you, has it been bad it? Ain't been bad but it ain't been the best. I think it's all. You know me what I'm a perspective type of gal.
Speaker 2:Make sure you don't miss one. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho ho.
Speaker 1:What I can see. You're a little defensive today and a little hostile oh okay, is it my reading?
Speaker 2:Because I spit hot fire, I spit hot fire you spit. Okay, you know what we're about. To end this episode short today before we even start. Hey Booskies.
Speaker 1:How was your week? Week, yeah, let's talk about it.
Speaker 2:Let's get the people the 30 minute rundown of your lifts this week, because that's what we do every week.
Speaker 1:First, of all, I don't give a rundown of my lifts for the week, but if you must know, no, we don't want it, we don't want to know you must know we don't want to know I did hit a new uh jim pr. Oh, that's good, yeah, that's good, let's give her.
Speaker 2:I mean, you know, let's give her some claps, people. She hit a new PR. Oh, thank you, oh thank you oh, thank you oh that girl.
Speaker 1:Good 5 sets of 5 and 285 on my dance, that girl good that girl good, that girl good, that girl good Shut up yeah buddy Anyway, but I had a pretty decent week, that's good babe my sister's in town, so I mean.
Speaker 2:I always love hanging out with my sister. When is she leaving?
Speaker 1:Goodbye you love having my sister here.
Speaker 2:You know I have an ovary count limit in my house. Once I get to a certain number of ovaries I'm like it's too much, too much estrogen in the air. I don't like all these ovaries in my house just walking around.
Speaker 1:Anyway, my sister's in town. Y'all trying to sync up. And I love having my sister. She's back, she's back in town. She was in Colorado for like the past eight months or whatever, so I've missed my sister.
Speaker 2:You don't even call her. How do you miss her?
Speaker 1:I literally talk to my sister almost every day.
Speaker 2:I talk to my sister way more than you talk to yours, yours? Probably not, but okay, okay it's not a competition, like you always try to make life but anyway, so I've just been enjoying my sister's presence because I like having my sister around, which is crazy, because when we were younger that was not the case couldn't stand her.
Speaker 1:I can't stand her now, probably between the age of like seven and 32 13, 13, no, I would probably say like seven and 16, 17 was she trying to play your? Life. Yeah, she was not like the greatest you know, and there and there was that little stint in my early 20s where I was like you could kick rocks. I kick rocks.
Speaker 1:but but now you know, you know like how they say you catch up, you and your siblings catch up with each other in life, and I think that's kind of like what's happened she's in her 40s. I'm going into my 40s. We've got some life experience.
Speaker 2:We're sisters, we're mothers, you know.
Speaker 1:So it's like.
Speaker 2:We're brothers.
Speaker 1:We're happy and we're singing and we're going to do, do, do do. Give me a high five Shut up. So, yeah, I kind of feel like we've met up with each other in life, and so it's like it's just a different. It's a different relationship.
Speaker 2:You know it's good. You guys have a joint cause to fight against. Now Are you talking about our?
Speaker 1:parents. Yes, we don't have a joint, we don't fight. Wait a minute. But I did see something funny today on tiktok. It was this video and this guy. He was just standing there and the caption thing said um, when your mom calls asking about your uh sibling, but you haven't got the script from your sibling yet to tell them anything. And so I went to the comments and it was like one of the comments was like hey, have you talked to your brother? And he was like one of the comments was like hey, have you talked to your brother? And he was like brother, I have a brother, who's my brother. And then the other one says um, I'm sorry, I'm not at Liberty to discuss my client situation.
Speaker 1:And then the other one said um, mom calls hey, where's your sister? Sister standing next to me in the kitchen. Sister says I'm not here. Me to my mom. I have no idea, I haven't talked to her All day. She's going to go If my sister hasn't given me the script to give you, yet I don't know. I don't know what you want me to do, because I can't discuss my client's situation right now. Like I always say, me and my siblings.
Speaker 2:We're in the trenches together. I'm sorry to my parents. My, my loyalties did not rise, but rise.
Speaker 1:Lie with you, my loyalty to my siblings and I go to my nieces and nephews. I love y'all. Oh, have you seen the video where it's like, uh, my niece, uh, sitting there venting to me about her mama, and I'm looking at her? Like you do know, that's my sister right, but keep going, look, but keep going. Not too much of my sister, but that's still my sister, not too much of my sister.
Speaker 1:No, the best one was, uh, when she was like, um, when, uh, it was her, she was like, if my mom and my sister don't get along, you know she was like my mama called her her sister, my aunt, for backup. My sister called me. She was like you're not gonna call your sister for backup and my sister not gonna call me for backup. My sister called me. She was like you're not going to call your sister for backup and my sister's not going to call me for backup.
Speaker 1:She was like it's me and my sister.
Speaker 2:You got to even the playing field.
Speaker 1:She was like it's me and my sister all day. But I think it's really funny because I don't think I mean there are some people who grow up really close with their siblings but sometimes you don't grow up close with your siblings and you meet up later in life and it's you know it's a different story, but your sister made your week a good week, huh, yeah, okay, yep, I told her we're going to go to the mall tomorrow.
Speaker 2:Oh y'all got it planned. So, while you know your husband is out there slaving away.
Speaker 1:Oh, here we go. You are not, you don't slave.
Speaker 2:You don't slave, you don't sin and you're not a slave. I'm out there, just.
Speaker 1:So you're just going to be out there in the hot sun Just slaving away, just slaving away. Just ask my mom and then me, fee and my sister are going to drive past you with our Starbucks, blasting our music.
Speaker 2:Only thing y'all missing is y'all top down, huh.
Speaker 1:That's it. Oh my gosh. But when, when we were at her house and she had the the the bug, the convertible bug yes, it was a vibe we were blasting music, like always drinking three hours of her week, so I'll keep my week short. Oh my gosh, that's because you slave all week, so there's not much to talk about. He went to work, he came home, he ate, he shit showered and shaved and did it all over again. Now that we got that out the way since, you want to be a butthole.
Speaker 2:I also worked out. I would just say that my therapy this week was good, very therapeutic, if I must say it was what I needed. Had some troubles working through them, processing these emotions. I'm going to just keep saying it until y'all believe me, my wife, it's been giving, it's been giving.
Speaker 1:What's been giving.
Speaker 2:Everything.
Speaker 1:You don't care to hear about my lifts, so what's been giving?
Speaker 2:Everything.
Speaker 1:Like what.
Speaker 2:Face hair, ass titties.
Speaker 1:Are you singing a song?
Speaker 2:Giving it's been giving. Are you singing a song? Giving it's?
Speaker 1:been giving. I'm telling y'all it's been giving.
Speaker 2:That's all I'm gonna say. It's been giving. My wife is looking good.
Speaker 1:I appreciate that. Getting thick, thick, thick. No, you gotta say it like this Thick.
Speaker 2:Thick, thick, thicker than a snack. I know I'm trying to than a snacker. I know I'm trying to get one.
Speaker 1:I woke up this morning feeling very thick and puffy. No, because yesterday.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, Yesterday I must have you had some good meat yesterday. Huh, I had all the things yesterday.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, you did.
Speaker 2:I had Tell them about it.
Speaker 1:Just all the foods Okay and foods okay, and when I really think about it, I only ate. I didn't eat that much. I only ate like two solid meals yesterday, but it was the snacking in between that got me, because I only had my meal, like my post-workout meal, which was like before we left for the house, and that was chicken and rice, my measured out chicken and rice, which was perfectly. That was like my first meal of the day. So I was already riding a high. And then I don't know what happened in between, after I had that meal and then getting to, uh, we went to a friend's house to go swimming and she has a new store that opened up by her house. And so we were like, oh yeah, let's go check out the store. And we went to the grocery store, we was supposed to be checking it out, and walked out with like seven packs of steaks, chips, dips, agua frescas, snacks, bobas, like I'm not sure what happened.
Speaker 1:And then, after all, that we still went to Dunkin' Donut and got iced coffee with cold foam I don't know what happened.
Speaker 2:You know what happened Women be shopping, women be shopping, women be shopping. That might be what it was, because when we walked because the the grocery.
Speaker 1:You know when things are new, like when stores first open up, the building is still pristine and all nice and white. The dirt ain't got to it yet. You walk into the store and all the apples are perfectly lined up. Still, everything is still brand new and looks good, and so everything looks vibrant. You know it's a marketing thing. Everything is vibrant and they have all the fresh fruits and stuff right there in the front and so, of course, you're looking at everything and you know what I do want some, some cucumber lime and I want some watermelon and I want some like. You didn't even need all that.
Speaker 1:We were sitting there eating ceviche chips.
Speaker 2:So y'all ate. Before y'all came back, let's hold eating ceviche chips, so y'all ate before y'all came back.
Speaker 1:That's all I'm hearing. No, we were like Nah.
Speaker 2:What we got today Booskies.
Speaker 1:We were like taste testing stuff.
Speaker 2:What we got today Booskies.
Speaker 1:Today we're going to be talking about females taking the lead.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, lead me.
Speaker 1:It's kind of like you know this modern day type deal. If you want to be a leader, be a leader. Well, let me specify.
Speaker 2:Nah, nah, big bro.
Speaker 1:No, I'm not talking about me. I'm just saying like in general, like in general about the whole topic of women asking men out on dates, women asking men to marry them, you know, like taking control, taking the lead, being autonomous with themselves, like putting their best foot forward, no bs, getting straight to the point, not waiting on a man, not wondering if he's interested or not, like I need to know, so I'm gonna just, you're gonna, nip it in the bud. Huh, nip it in the bud, like if you're gonna drag your feet.
Speaker 1:Let me know what we doing. Like I'm gonna, just I'm gonna let you know where I am. You let me know where you are. Okay, like I'm gonna, just I'm gonna let you know where I am. You let me know where you are. If we can meet up in the middle to make something happen, captain, then we can. So what, what's your thoughts about that babe? About women leading, yeah, about take, not women leading, women taking the lead in initiating like relationships or initiating marriage Um a simple.
Speaker 1:I mean if, if you know who don't like you know somebody, come up to a shooting shot I know it sounds like it's an ego boost for you because you got a big smile on your face.
Speaker 2:Look here it don't happen a lot to men. Like I told you before, man, we don't get a lot of compliments, so we get a compliment like that, that one compliment. Let's some random broad compliment me okay, but compliments are different. I'm talking about let me finish what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Okay, what were you saying?
Speaker 2:let's some random broad comment that that's gonna carry me through the day. I'm gonna.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna start feeling like oh so my compliments don't carry you through the day because you love me.
Speaker 2:oh, it's different, it's different. Different, it's different, it's different. Okay, when you get it from outside the relationship, you feel like you know what.
Speaker 1:You feel like you just gave them their opportunity.
Speaker 2:That now there's a window.
Speaker 1:No, because now you have this big-ass smile on your face.
Speaker 2:No, I kind of know.
Speaker 1:And it's carrying you through the day.
Speaker 2:Okay, so you're always trying to make something into something.
Speaker 1:I'm just letting you know. I'm just letting you know If I go to the gym if I go to the gym. No, if I go to the gym and I walk up to uh to um, what's his name?
Speaker 2:I don't know how I got it was about me. Now it's back back to her in the gym and all her boyfriends in the gym.
Speaker 1:You literally just said to me that if another woman gives you a compliment, it's going to carry you through your day.
Speaker 2:Look, here you. Let me finish my statement and my thought.
Speaker 1:Okay, go ahead, because I'm interested in hearing it. No, you're not, you were just saying hello to me, peace.
Speaker 2:Go ahead. Anyway, it is a confidence booster because, outside validation like of course you're going to validate me You're going to say, oh, babe, you look good, you outside validation, like of course you're going to validate me. You're going to say, oh, baby, you look good, you look nice. Yeah, but you told me I look nice when I was goddamn, almost 300 pounds.
Speaker 1:So can I really trust you? Yes, because, okay, can I trust you. You did the same thing too, because you did, you did though. And I genuinely found you attractive at every size what I would.
Speaker 2:Okay, who care what I was, what I was saying. So, like when, when, when, when you come across someone that gives you a compliment, or a woman that is direct for me personally, like when you're direct with me, I do like that because it it leaves, it removes any doubt of what the situation is okay, right, yeah it lets me know up front, like, okay, like, like when you like.
Speaker 2:Like the other night, you're like when you like, you'll come get this award. You're like, well, you're like you'll come get this award. I was like I'm coming to get it, I'm coming to get it Express first, first class. Bye, goodbye, I'm coming. So me personally, I like it.
Speaker 2:Now, I know that traditionally is, you know the the, you know all of the women saying that they don't like being catcalled, they don't like being approached, and so I think I do think a lot of men have have backed off from that, because it's like we listen, like the good men have listened, and like the one lady I said on TikTok yeah, the good men listen, but now, but all the bad ones, they still catcall us, but now, so, now, the ones we want to call us don't call us. But you know, tomato, tomato, you got, you get what you get. So but I do feel like in that environment, where you know the good men who have listened to women and don't necessarily try to approach them in a whatever they deem to be an appropriate setting and try to make them feel uncomfortable, when, when the roles are reversed and she comes up to you and is like okay, well, all right.
Speaker 1:You know what it is.
Speaker 2:I know what it is off the bat. I don't have to waste any energy or time.
Speaker 1:You don't have to deal with any rejection or anything Because. I think that's the biggest portion.
Speaker 2:That's it? I think that's. I mean. I've been with this woman for 23 years and every time she rejects me I hurt. Goodbye.
Speaker 1:And, I believe, don't goodbye my rejection. I believe that situations are different, obviously, when it comes to men and women. Right, when men approach women, it's not so foreign for men to have a level of anxiety or something for being rejected, because you don't know how that woman is going to react. You don't know what her rejection is going to look like. Right, and not all women handle men who are approaching them with kits and gloves Okay. But on the flip side, when you have a woman who's more aggressive, more assertive, who approaches a man if he's not interested, I do think that men are different in the way that women are, where men will still try to let her down easily, a bit more gently, I mean if the rejection the rejection is not going to be the same at all you you can just watch pop the balloon and see this.
Speaker 2:If you watch pop the, balloon. You can see the difference yeah, like the men for the most part.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was gonna say for the most part, because there are some assholes most of the guys try to be just. They try to keep like oh, she's just not my vibe yeah, and they always say but she's beautiful, she's beautiful, she's beautiful. They always give her a compliment, she's just not for me, right, yeah, but the woman yeah, especially if she feels like you didn't came for her especially, especially the ones that ain't healed.
Speaker 2:Yeah she's gonna run you through the mud no, it's so.
Speaker 1:It's the ones that I I find. It's the ones where, if you like, listen, you know how I always say when I feel like you coming for me the only, the only thing that's left to do is for me to put you under my shoe and twist my foot and push you into the ground.
Speaker 1:Okay, so that that's what. That's what I'm saying. It's's like the men they will let the woman down, they will be, they will reassure, like. Reassure her, like oh, but she's still beautiful. She's just not my type. It's not to say that she's not. You know what I mean. Like, her body type is not what I prefer, but I'm also not trying to call you fat or anything. It's just not my preference. But the women, and especially if she feels like he popped and it's because her face or whatever she immediately is like he's your type, no, he's not my type.
Speaker 1:And then it's like now it goes until you gotta drag on him when he was just trying to be nice and be like no, you're not my type, I've seen it so many times where the guy has done his best to not say anything offensive and even and I'd be like even if he was her type. He no longer is. Now no longer is Because she right no longer is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I've seen that happen so many times, but I do feel like, when it comes to the men we have, we grow up accustomed to rejection.
Speaker 1:It's almost like you're inadvertently taught rejection and how to deal with it no, we're taught that it happens.
Speaker 2:A lot of people are not taught how to deal with it.
Speaker 1:That's why you're right, you're right, they can't handle it I agree, they snap and they start doing wild stuff.
Speaker 2:You, you do have those.
Speaker 1:They get wild they get crazy.
Speaker 2:So but I do feel like rejection is for men at least it's. It's. It's something that we naturally we get, we get used to from, even as something as early as like trying out for sports teams, trying out for right, for four positions, and it's like just when you like you get that in like pre-adolescence. Then, once you start talking to girls, it's always it's. It never seemed, it always never seems to feel like the first girl. You like the first girl you talk to. It's uh, it's like. Almost for most guys I was, I would bet there's probably no, she didn't like me. Now it then it determines was she nice about it, what she mean about it? A lot of girls you know how kids are yeah, no like I wasn't that way, bitch.
Speaker 1:I wasn't that type of gal, it wasn't. I wasn't. Oh okay, no, and when I let you down in junior high school I let you down easy.
Speaker 2:Well, why you gotta bring that?
Speaker 1:up, you bring that up every chance you can don't.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying does that, but does that matter, because I have you now that you're right, you won.
Speaker 1:So who won? You did who was? So stop bringing. Actually I won, actually. I'm gonna be honest. I feel like I hit the lottery Like hand on Bible. I hit the lottery with you.
Speaker 2:Okay, go ahead, I'm done. I'm done with my talking points.
Speaker 1:I did. I'm trying to pay you a compliment and I appreciate that. And see, this is exactly why guys I appreciate that Got to put him under the shoe and do a little twist. What did I do? How did I do? For I'm trying to pay him a compliment and he's like brushing me off. Just like how he said my compliments don't carry him through the week, but some random broad compliment is going to carry him through the week.
Speaker 2:It's always nice when you get something from somewhere unexpected. I expect you to compliment me.
Speaker 1:It's an expectation. I expect you to compliment me.
Speaker 2:I bet you go a couple of days without saying something nice to me. What the hell wrong with you? What's wrong with you?
Speaker 1:Cause I know I look good.
Speaker 2:And I know I put that shit on on Saturday. I've been putting that shit on.
Speaker 1:And you didn't say nothing.
Speaker 2:You say you like a man in a uniform. You say no one have my uniform on. You just got my arms looking at that uniform. Now you better say something. I look at you like oh, you ain't said nothing. A couple, you must need you a soda shut up a soda.
Speaker 1:Needs you a soda? You thirsty, need some soda. Stupid, you ain't seen all this um I think I think another reason why women are becoming a little bit more assertive in the dating realm and taking more of an aggressive approach, because it just takes the confusion out of things right, and especially as we get older, especially if you're dating in like, your mid-30s and up. If you're dating in your mid-30s and up, oh Lord, why do you say it like that? Oh Lord, why do you say it like?
Speaker 2:that Just the climate? I hear that what climate is?
Speaker 1:But that has a lot to do with it too, because I I hear that, what time it is, but that that has a lot to do with it too, because I have gone back and forth with myself. I don't think I, I don't think I would be the assertive type Like if there was an, a gentle man that I was interested in. I don't think I would be as assertive to be like hey, you want to go out on a date?
Speaker 2:Or, if we got that far down the line, to be like proposing to him I don't think that that's me but let me tell you something right now if something was happening, that was the only way I would be in a relationship, because if she don't approach, me.
Speaker 1:I'm not looking for nobody. That's not true. You think I look, I. I think you're too much. I think you're too much of a like a lover. I love you, I don't like. I love you. I don't love these bitches. I love you. There's a difference.
Speaker 2:But I love you. I have.
Speaker 1:I have 23 years of history I know, can't nobody come and feel that? And no, and no one will try. Like once they know your history, no one will try to replace me. But I mean, I hope she don't think she can replace me, but I don't think that you are.
Speaker 2:It's a cold.
Speaker 1:It'll be a cold day to hell, because I don't think you're the type to live, to be alone. Oh, I'm not gonna be alone. I have my daughter. Okay, well, she's gonna grow up and she's gonna leave and live her own life and I would hate for you to put a guilt trip on her like she has to be around for you, I wouldn't do that at all.
Speaker 2:I would just stay active.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't be lonely and just collect your compliments. That's it, that'll ride you through your day. Yeah, you'll find somewhere.
Speaker 2:I can just put 40 on the address and leave.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's a little much. Before you on the address and leave. Okay, that's a little much. Anyways, but I think it shows a level of confidence and not desperation in some instances. Okay, now, in the instance of trying to get to know a man better because you are interested, I don't think that is desperation, because the debate is women asking men out, women proposing to men. It looks desperate right To who? To general society.
Speaker 2:Let me ask you another question. This is unrelated. Are you one of those women that gatekeep your happy marriage? Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:DeMille, stay on topic. I don't think it is a sign of desperation. I do think that it can be viewed as a sign of confidence when it comes to getting to know a gentleman.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:If there is a fellow that I find myself interested in, you know, hypothetically speaking, obviously. But if there's a fellow that I found myself interested in, you know, hypothetically speaking, obviously. But if there's a fellow that I found myself interested in and I was a single woman, especially in my mid thirties, right, um, I would. For me, I wouldn't mind trying to develop like a friendship and if it got to a point where I was potentially interested in him on a second level of like a romantic level I, you know, I I probably wouldn't be the one to initiate that, but the women who initiate that.
Speaker 1:I don't see it as desperation, I see it as being confident, I see it as trying to cut down time, because what if he is interested? But he's also one of those people who can't really deal with rejection much and so it's like, if I can, you know, if I, if I peep that and I was a assertive person in that way and I peep that, I wouldn't mind being like, what are you doing on Saturday? Like let's, let's go to a movie, let's go to dinner.
Speaker 2:Let's hang out. You're such a liar Never in that capacity. Never, you ain't.
Speaker 1:Maurice, I use my card all the time. I use my card all the time when we go out. I have taken you on so many dates.
Speaker 2:You use your card inside the.
Speaker 1:Arbenz account. I use my card, okay. So when you see the charge, what does it say?
Speaker 2:Because when I look at, my statement.
Speaker 1:I see my charges. Okay, I see my charges when I like bought you a gift, when I took you out to eat, when I sent you money. Okay, yeah, I see, I see all that. All right, so I'm not sure what statements you see um. I also think that is.
Speaker 2:I feel like I feel like I don't think there's any problem with that, because I feel like shooters are gonna to shoot, Because I feel like even before today I feel like women shot, they shot. It was just in other ways. Women will let you know when they're interested, Like they may not like blatantly ask, come on and say, hey, you want to go out, but they'll let you know. They smile in your face a little longer.
Speaker 1:Right, that's what I'm saying. A little subtle contact. They let you know that they're interested. They let you know that's what I'm saying. I'm that type of type of woman I'm gonna just give you hints, like it's okay for you to ask me out it's just like now.
Speaker 2:You know, let's just be honest, because I'm one of them. Most guys don't take hints, so now they're like but I'm like, well, I'm not gonna let. If she feels like he's good enough or he might has the potential to be good enough, she would just shoot her shot. You know, I don't see nothing wrong with that. Shoot your shot, I don't see anything wrong with it.
Speaker 1:I think also in today's, today's modern age, when it comes to social media and technology, I think that plays a huge part in it too. You can, you know.
Speaker 2:I don't know if you can really say you can be fine with their personality, like you don't know if people are being real or not, but you can get a glimpse of what people portray themselves to be.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I think with social media in particular, it's more easier for women to be a little bit more assertive too. If you're communicating via technology, yeah, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:We were all everybody who's on social media was in a room. I'm sure it's a high percentage of number of people who would not, or women who would not approach a man or be or tell him like, oh, you're so handsome or cute, but behind the screen, if I see your picture, I'm going to like it and then I might like shoot you a message in the DM, and that's because it's protecting me from being rejected, because if you do reject me, I can just go away and you never know who I was in the first place. You only know the pictures that I posted.
Speaker 2:So it's easier, the risk is lower. The studies show that on dating apps, women initiate 70% of the time 74% yeah On Bumble, one of the dating apps, 74% of women initiate. And they don't mind initiating.
Speaker 1:They out here shooting a shot. But again, that goes back to you're on a dating app, right, it's a protection, like I'm behind a shield. So if I see a man that I like and I shoot him a message, I like his picture, and he comes back and be like, oh you're beautiful, but I'm not interested, I can just move on and my, my feelings might be a little hurt because it's like, damn, you look good and I'm not bad looking either, but if I'm not what you're looking for, that's cool, and then I can just I could just move on. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:You are. You are very easy on the eyes. Thank you, honey.
Speaker 1:I could just move on and it's the protection that I have of communicating via technology. But if we were at a restaurant and I've never seen you before and you have never seen me before and I so happen to muster up the courage to walk up to you and tell you you are such a handsome man, I appreciate that. Like are you dating anybody? Would you like to go to dinner, or anything?
Speaker 2:I'm at dinner right now.
Speaker 1:That's that's. I'm at dinner right now with my wife. That's going to feel, um, that's gonna feel. That's gonna feel a little different, right, because it's it's face to face.
Speaker 2:But if I'm behind my phone screen, I mean I'm gonna just move on to the next but I also think like cause when I think about, like my life, right, let's, let's just say, let's say, I was not married, I was not married, I was not married. I'm just thinking about my life and my daily routine. I would not run into very many situations where I would run into a situation or a place where I could meet single women Just living my life.
Speaker 1:Oh, you mean like on your day to day, on my day to day.
Speaker 2:Okay, like outside of, because, honestly, outside of work the only technical social place I go to is the gym.
Speaker 1:Right and we know how women feel there's a lot of single women there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but we know how women feel like being approached in the gym and that's not. You know, I'm locked in. Yeah, I'm not looking at nothing like that, maybe on a treadmill.
Speaker 1:Maybe when they walk out to the parking lot that might be a little creepy, though.
Speaker 2:Don't, you know, don't approach me in the parking lot. That's weird, um, but I just I think, like, so I do think in, like, in that case, I do feel like, like you were saying, like the social media, the technology, the dating apps. I feel like that is a way because, with the lives of most people, leave lead, they don't really have time for um to get out into social settings, especially I know I mean for me personally.
Speaker 2:I know I wouldn't, because I'm not'm not. I'm not a club goer, Nope me. Neither I'm not a jazz. Oh, I might hit a jazz lounge. I'll do a comedy club, For sure.
Speaker 2:But it's like, like an improv yeah but if I'm at the comedy club I'm there for the community. Do see how the technology and all that stuff helps the cause, and I do think that it does like you said. It does give the added security so they feel a little more safe and protected and it and it kind of does protect men's ego a little bit, because it's if, if she's shooting my shot, her shot at me, I don't have to deal with rejection, right, because a man and she don't have to deal with a lot of ghosting right and a man, because a man putting being put in a spot where you get a chance to reject that's not something we feel often.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a lot of power and I.
Speaker 1:that's why I say, when women take the lead in the dating sense, um, it avoids some confusion too, because you do have men who don't want to let you know.
Speaker 1:Some women down or like maybe he thought he was interested and then he asks her out and she agrees. Then all of a sudden he decides he's not interested and he ghosts her, not to say that that wouldn't happen if she approached him. But I think women taking the initiative when it comes to trying to get to know a man in the dating realm and asking him out, it cuts down on some of the confusion. It cuts down on some of the anxiety of whether, if he's interested in me or not, right, it cuts down on some of the anxiety of him potentially ghosting me because I'm the one who initiated. So the ball was really in his court. The ball is in his court. So if you're really genuinely not interested in me, this is the opportunity to just say you know what? I think you're a lovely lady, but but it's not gonna work yeah, and then for the right, and then the woman, although I'm sure I don't think anybody really handles rejection?
Speaker 1:yeah like it's, it's, but, but it'll be easier, I think, for women to just be like okay, now I can move on, because the truth of the matter is, especially if you're dating middle aged and up, if you have goals such as having a family or starting a family, we need things to happen like now, and I need to know we own the clock.
Speaker 1:We own the clock and I need to know if you're interested or not, because I have a whole career going on. I still have a household that I take care of by. I still have a household that I take care of Bye. I still have a household that I take care of and you're a man that I'm interested in and you're a man that I can see that fits into what I already have going on. So if you're going to drag your feet, I don't have time for that. So let me just see if you're interested. Are you interested? Would you like to go out? Do you find me interesting? And then we can go from there. That works, yeah. Now when we talk about marriage, however Different, I don't feel the same. You got a bet. I don't feel the same. You got proposed.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm not, I'm not going to initiate that.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to initiate that. Get down on one knee for me, absolutely not. That's why you're not getting involved with no one. Because you didn't ask me for one Bye, you got to get on both knees, okay, well, I guess it'll never happen. You renew your love I guess it will never happen.
Speaker 1:It will never happen. Now, to each his own. We listen and we don't judge.
Speaker 2:Oh, I judge every time.
Speaker 1:But for me, I think, when it comes to such a huge commitment and step, when it gets to the point where either you're considering marriage or you feel like you want to be married Um, usually couples have had that conversation right. It's like making sure we're still aligned in the sense that we both are on the track for marriage. We are both are on the track and on board for children. We are on track and we are on board for how we want to structure our lives as a married couple with kids, with a home structure, if we're going to be churchgoers or not. Our faith like whatever that is Right Usually there gets to.
Speaker 1:Usually people get to a point where these things are thoroughly discussed and so the woman gets to a point where we've talked about all these things. I know where he is on them, he knows where I am on them. I'm just gonna wait until he, until he surprises me, right? I think that it's important for a few different reasons that it be the man who initiates. Go ahead and tell us who initiates marriage. Right, go ahead and tell us Hold on.
Speaker 2:Do you feel like if a woman initiated, that means the man either was on the fence about her or wasn't really ready for marriage? Kind, of. And she's trying to force his hand.
Speaker 1:Maybe not force his hand? Um, not for maybe not force his hand. Some women might look at it as she was just like helping along the process, okay, but the thing is I say that the the things that men and women expect of each other are different, yeah, and the expected expectations that most a lot of women I'm not going to even say most, I'm just going to say a lot of women have of men. If he is not already like meeting that expectation, or if there's an expectation that he has for himself that you are not aware of, or that he's, or that he's expressed to you but he has not yet achieved, you asking him in marriage and then locking him into the marriage before he feels that he has the capacity to be the proper husband that you need him to be, that you know that you've put an expectation on him to be and he doesn't. He doesn't like quote unquote live up to it or perform. I think that's going to cause a riff. Okay, right, but that's not.
Speaker 2:But is that a riff? Because he's not living up to the standards she set in her mind?
Speaker 1:That's why I say it could be both. It could be both, but I do believe that expecting a man to quote unquote, be a leader, because we know that's a loaded word too a leader because we know that's a loaded word too. But from my perspective, and what I I view as leadership in my own relationship.
Speaker 1:Expecting a man expecting a man to be a leader and to take control and to have a level of assertiveness. That's a huge responsibility and I would for, for, for both, but for him, right. So him asking me to marry him. In my mind, you have crossed all your T's, you've dotted all your I's, you've gone through the scenarios of what you think you could potentially face and you are still making a conscious decision to invite me into your life, to be a part of your life experience.
Speaker 2:Let me ask you this I hear everything you said, I received it. Life experience. Let me ask you this I hear everything you said, I received it. What if the man is a young 20 year old? He doesn't have the full scope of knowledge about life. Are you still going to hold him to those standards?
Speaker 1:Well, it's OK. It's not even about holding standards. That's why I say usually, like I said before, the major topics have been addressed in the relationship about where we're going. You know that you want children, I know that I want children. You know that you want to be a homeowner, I know that I want to be a homeowner. You know that you don't want to move out of state at any point in your life. I know that I can be okay with that, even if it's something I do want to do. But I can get on board with that because I want to be with you. You know, if you want to live in an apartment, the whole your whole life, and you know, if you want to live in a trailer, your whole life, I can get on board with it. Those are conversations that usually happen right.
Speaker 2:I just say that.
Speaker 1:Hold on.
Speaker 1:That doesn't say like, oh, obviously, if you're a 20 something, everyone's life experience is different.
Speaker 1:But if you're a 20 something, there may not have been a full scope of life experience to understand the gravity of what you're getting into by asking someone to marry you, right, but I, I believe that, as the male, the male figure, the leader, right, you want to be respected as a leader.
Speaker 1:You want to be held to a certain standard. As a man, right, you are asking something of me. You are asking me to be a part of your life. You're asking me to be a part of your life experience, right, I understand how heavy that could possibly be. You understand how heavy that could possibly be. But if you're the one who needs to take control and you're the one who wants to drive the bus and you want me to sit beside you or sit behind you while you drive this bus, remember that it was you and your leadership and your decisions that invited me to be a part of your, your life experience and what I'm telling you is I was young, I I didn't have okay, I'm talking about me personally I didn't have a full understanding, that's fine, and you were alone that.
Speaker 2:So I feel like you're holding me up to unfair standards because I'm just playing.
Speaker 1:Get down by Maurice. But I'm just saying when it comes to the capacity of the proposal, asking someone to marry them. Don't get me wrong. You can do whatever you want to. I don't really care one way or another. If a woman asks a man to marry her, I'm saying from my personal like my personal preference, I personally wouldn't ask a man to marry me. Do you know what I'm? Do you know what I'm saying? Because I'm not going to and like how you said, like okay, but what if he's like dragging his feet or something? If you are wanting to be held to a certain standard as a man, okay, because men like to talk about wanting to be held to a certain standard as a man. Okay, because men like to talk about wanting to be leaders, protectors, providers, that is a position. If you're not going to take the lead on starting the, the, the official commitment, that's a huge first step.
Speaker 1:So if I take the lead on starting the commitment and then we get into the marriage and now I'm going to say, okay, now I expect you to drive the bus. No, I don't know, like I don't know. Am I explaining myself correctly?
Speaker 2:I don't know you seem to have this is an ECG episode.
Speaker 1:No, but I'm just saying like, but don't get me wrong. Like I said, to each his own. To each his own.
Speaker 2:Tomato to model.
Speaker 1:Right, it's fine. Cherries and apples, I'm just saying Plums and oranges, my two cents and the whole debacle that goes on with social media about the videos with the women proposing to the men.
Speaker 2:You think it's wild?
Speaker 1:It's not for me. Okay, but if it's for her and she know her relationship and she know her man and and those men standing up there with their hand out and the twinkle in their eyes and the family and the family surrounding them all, and everybody like clapping and stuff. If that's what y'all want to do, do it. I have no. I have no quorums with it. My personal opinion, because I got an asshole like everybody else, so I got an opinion like everybody else.
Speaker 1:I personally pretty asshole though I personally, I'm not getting down on no knee to propose to no man. I don't care how empowered I feel. Ok, I'm not doing it. And if I feel as though, where we get to a point where we have to have the discussion of why haven't I been proposed to yet? Right, and we have to like, if this becomes an ongoing thing where we constantly have to discuss it, then I also know how to bow out. Gracefully Right, because, as we discussed, if we are in our mid-30s and up and I've got life, goals that involve biology.
Speaker 1:I gotta go. Come on now, Bishop, I gotta go. I gotta go. It's been great. I think you are amazing. I received his word. I don't know what are your thoughts.
Speaker 2:I do feel like me personally. I agree with you. I would not stand up there with my hand out as a woman, you're not going to stand like this. No, I'm not doing that. A little too sassy for me.
Speaker 1:Okay, but what if she's standing in front of you on one knee? Are you going to pick her up like girl if?
Speaker 2:you don't get your ass off that floor. Get your ass up.
Speaker 1:If you don't get your ass off that floor, why not?
Speaker 2:Because I would feel embarrassed.
Speaker 1:Okay, and so right there. So right there, but why would you feel embarrassed? Because what does that say? What do you think that says to the crowd?
Speaker 2:Okay, hold on, because, because for me I am traditional.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:I live a traditional lifestyle. Right, I have a traditional household.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:I am not finna sit here and allow this woman To be at her dress. And propose to me Because, like you were saying earlier, if I felt that strongly that I was ready or that I wanted to, I would have, you would have. That's the point and that's for me. Yeah Right, and I am not going to just sit here, because a lot of times I do feel like women do that to pressure him into that, because maybe he's not unsure of it or maybe he doesn't want it.
Speaker 1:Or she thinks like no, you're, you're fine, you will be fine.
Speaker 2:We got each other. You got me uh-huh right, so for me personally, that is not something.
Speaker 1:I'm not.
Speaker 2:I'm not finna stand up there and be sassy with your family around.
Speaker 1:I'm not why. I mean it doesn't have to be sassy I'm not. This is it okay, come on, you don't have to bend the wrist. Straighten out your wrist and straighten out your hand there but she's below you so straighten your whole arm out, your whole elbow that's sassy.
Speaker 2:Now I do understand that relationship dynamics are changing.
Speaker 1:And they're different and that you know.
Speaker 2:women are a lot more confident nowadays and they are more decisive and direct.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're independent.
Speaker 2:They're strong and they go right. And I know I understand that with that shift and the power that women feel, they have not feel, but in the power that women now have, I understand that norms and identities have changed and it affects the way people see certain things. Yeah, but for me personally, don't propose to me, because I'm going to, because I'm going to say no, I'm going to say no.
Speaker 1:You got to say yes.
Speaker 2:if it's in front of a crowd, I'm going to say no Because if, like I said, if I was ready I would have done it, I would have done it.
Speaker 1:Yes, and I think and I think too now that you brought that up when you said I would feel embarrassed, would feel embarrassed. In my mind, what came to mind was, if you're feeling embarrassed or you feel like she's embarrassed you on some level, that must also like you're also thinking about what everybody else is thinking, right like you got this girl proposing, proposing to you, right? So either we know that you had no intentions- or she's trying to rush it along or yes, or she's trying to rush it along, or you had that girl waiting so long that she had to come to you and propose to you, and that's another thing for me.
Speaker 2:If I felt like a situation where she's trying to rush thing along, that would instantly turn me off and I probably walk away from the relationship. But she's probably not thinking about it that way because I would think like, if you're trying to force me into this, what else? What are you going to try to force me into if I actually go through with this?
Speaker 1:But see, and that's why I, that's why I say, when it comes to something like marriage, why I think that still needs to be on the, you know, the, the responsibility or the ball needs to be in the court of the man, is because I feel as though that also sets a precedent for, for the relationship for the marriage.
Speaker 1:Right, as though that also sets a precedent for for the relationship, for the marriage. Right, it does. That's. That's what I'm saying. It sets a precedent because, like I always tell you, like it come hell or high water, you asked me to be here, bro. I mean, did I? You did, did I?
Speaker 2:yeah, I still have the letter you asked me, I asked the, I asked the 20 year version. Okay, good damn, bye, goodbye anyway.
Speaker 1:Different version but I still think it. It primarily, it primarily is in the man's court. I agree, because it sets a precedent for the relationship, but at the same time there's nothing wrong for the one I there's.
Speaker 2:There's nothing wrong no, there I let's be 100 clear.
Speaker 1:There is nothing wrong with that, and I'm pretty sure and I'm sure there's lots of successful marriages in which the woman has proposed and they have lived a beautiful, flourished life where they both get everything they want. Nothing is set in stone.
Speaker 2:I mean because nine times out of ten I'm most likely going to say no, unless you're rich. Bye.
Speaker 1:But yeah. So like that's neither here nor there. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong, inherently wrong with it. I'm just giving my opinion into two cents on the trending topic. You know what I'm saying. But I just think it doesn't set a good precedent, or it wouldn't set a good precedent for the relationship, if it came to a point where you felt the need that you had to be the one to propose because he hasn't proposed yet, because the good old saying, like you say, if he would, I mean if he could, he would. If he wanted to, he would. If he wanted to, he would.
Speaker 1:So the fact that he hasn't Sometimes he ain't got the money for the ring Listen and that goes back to knowing your partner.
Speaker 2:We're not gonna go into all the nuances because that goes, that goes into, that goes because we know how you feel about nuances from last episode goodbye.
Speaker 1:No one likes you, um, but yeah, so I. There's nothing wrong with it, I'm just saying for me for me, for me, for me like if my kid was to come to me and be like Mom. I think I wanna Propose the hell you do Right.
Speaker 2:Nigga please.
Speaker 1:The hell you do. This is what you do If y'all been having the conversation and y'all on board With wanting to Pursue life together.
Speaker 2:Listen, you can give him A year, you can give him two.
Speaker 1:I don't know, but you ain't getting on that man knee and you ain't gonna stand on that two feet and ask him to marry you.
Speaker 2:This may be controversial, but I do feel like in that situation, I feel like from the woman's perspective, I feel like I would prefer, as a man, I would prefer the ultimatum over the proposal.
Speaker 1:I get that, no, but.
Speaker 2:I get that. No, I get that. But understand, with the ultimatum it may not happen the way you want to, because you might give an ultimatum You're like all right, fine, let's just break up.
Speaker 1:But I feel like the pressure is still the same. It is Because it is the same.
Speaker 2:It is the same. My man brain says my man brain. The proposal is she's trying to force me into something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, put me on the spot, put me on the spot when she knows that I'm not ready for this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the ultimatum is my man brain would say, okay, this is something that she wants and she wants it with me. Yeah, but if I'm not willing to give her that, she's willing to walk away from me right, so I have time to process.
Speaker 1:So I have time to process that that's why I say I would prefer the ultimatum over the proposal, because at least you have time to think about it and then you can make it, because if you propose, I'm saying no yeah and now and now you're down there with your knees dirty for no reason but then then it also I mean it also could be looked at that if you do decide to propose.
Speaker 1:you did it because you were pressured to, but I can see what you mean. It's like at least you had that time space to be like okay, it's my choice.
Speaker 2:But even if I was pressured to, I proposed after the ultimatum yeah, that's what I'm saying After I thought about it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You had time to think about it.
Speaker 2:Because a lot of times, and you know, we start thinking and we make bad decisions, but you know it is what it is. Yeah, tis is what tis is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2:So I mean, I, just I personally would prefer the ultimatum. That's just me.
Speaker 1:How long do you think the ultimatum should be?
Speaker 2:and they're in their mid-thirties a year. You don't have time to waste a year a year yeah, okay alright, good discussion.
Speaker 1:Glad to see where you, glad to see where you, where you lie at on that cause you proposed to me. I'm walking out. No, you don't have to worry about it, I'm walking out, you don't? You don't have to worry about it.
Speaker 2:I'm walking out, it's not gonna be. You don't have to worry about it. I'm walking out, it's not going to be. I don't want her to post to me at all.
Speaker 1:What? Yeah, you don't have to worry about that. I'm walking out. All right, guys, we're going to go ahead and move on into R2-D2. R2-d2.
Speaker 2:I hope they were the last weeks. What? Because you've been fumbling, y'all she's been fumbling. No, I haven't. Whatever. I be sending her these juicy ones.
Speaker 1:That's full of drama and mess and she be like nah, that's too messy cause he, he's.
Speaker 2:I'm here for the mess he got.
Speaker 1:He got some toxic traits. Y'all don't, don't let him fool you. It's not about marriage, no.
Speaker 2:I just like. I like watching toxic shit.
Speaker 1:Happen be involved in it okay well, I want, I want your reaction on this one.
Speaker 2:Oh, she knows, she wrong. Bye okay.
Speaker 1:Would I be the asshole for still expecting full child support if I remarry or move in with my boyfriend? Okay, let's go my ex, who is a 40 year old male to female and I am a 38 year old female have been divorced for a year and a half after she came out as trans.
Speaker 2:I'm straight.
Speaker 1:So it ended our romantic relationship, but I've supported her transition. We share two kids, a nine year old female and a seven year old male. Our relationship is strained and although she has visitations, she rarely sees our kids, mostly just Thursday night dinners. For the past seven months I've always encouraged her to see our kids because I think it's better for them to have her in their lives. She initially said she might move away out of state and fade completely out of their lives because seeing the kids is too painful.
Speaker 1:Based on the advice of my lawyer and therapist, I pursued full child support. The kids are entitled to 25% of her income. She's an engineer and is a much higher earner than I am because I'm a nurse and I receive no alimony. I've been dating someone great for a little over a year. He's wonderful with my kids and while he wanted kids, he couldn't have any of his own. Things are getting serious and we've talked about moving in together or even marriage.
Speaker 1:When my ex found out I introduced the kids to my boyfriend back in October, she said she might terminate her parental rights altogether to allow a step-parent adoption. I was surprised and thought maybe she was speaking from a dark place mentally and would rethink it once she was more stable. I recently asked if she still felt that way and she said yes, though she liked some visitations. She then added that she'd be very unhappy if she had to continue to pay child support. If I remarried or cohabitated, I was taken back. I thought she wanted to put. I thought she wanted to protect her mental health, but now it seems more about avoiding financial responsibility of the kids. My boyfriend isn't a high earner and I work full time and we live a modest life, but I do rely on the child support for my personal budget. Would I be an asshole for still expecting full child support even if I remarry or move in with someone else? Is this even possible legally? Advice, no, you will not be the asshole. I don't think so. I don't think so at all.
Speaker 1:Look here I don't think you can't say you're going to give up your rights, but you still want to visit them and you don't want to pay for them.
Speaker 2:I don't know this man's name, so I'm going to just say some random names. Take it how you take it, I don't care. Steve really steve helped you have them kids, now that susan don't want nothing to do with them. Susan used to be steve and steve is still responsible and susan got the same social security number as steve, so susan gonna have to give you that goddamn child support. I don't give a damn damn.
Speaker 1:You got to pay. You got to pay. Them is your children, and how?
Speaker 2:selfish of you to just decide nine years after your first child is born that you want nothing to do with the kids. I'm not even mad at the transitioning part. I'm not even going to go into that. Be who you want to be, yeah. But now you're going to abandon your kids, your children.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because it's too painful for you, because she said it's too painful for her.
Speaker 2:But think about the pain. Think about the pain.
Speaker 1:Think about the pain that you're causing the children, that they even have to go through the situation.
Speaker 2:You nearly upheaved their whole life and everything they've known. Yeah, for the past nine and seven years. Yes, it's wild, yes, but nine and seven years.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, it's wild, yes, but yes.
Speaker 2:And here's what I think. Here's what I think would happen. He I'm sorry, I don't want to offend nobody yeah, she, who's really. He feels that way now, yeah, and 10, 12 years, when them kids are adults and he probably feels like he's no longer, he's on one side of the relationship with them kids. Maybe that's what it is. Maybe, I think, he wants all his money to himself so he can live whatever lifestyle he thinks he wants to live away from his family that he promised that he may and his wife that he may, bow to that could be it.
Speaker 1:So no, ma'am, you are not that. You're not the asshole.
Speaker 2:Ask for more, because if they play sports and do all that, it's expensive children are expensive if they put them in travel basketball and travel in gymnastics.
Speaker 1:Right, you're going to need a second mortgage okay, brother of the year, who's demanding $300 a month from me because I quote unquote don't have kids to spend it on wait what?
Speaker 1:okay, go ahead my brother called me yesterday. Normal chit chat at first. Then he started venting about kids expenses and how expensive kids are. Diapers, daycare formula all of it is draining him. I listened and I nodded along.
Speaker 1:Then he says this you don't have kids, you kind of free with money. Maybe you could help out. I laughed, thinking it was a joke, but he wasn't joking. He said even if you could give me 300 a month, that would help. So I asked him you want me to pay you $300 every month? He said yeah, because I don't have quote unquote real responsibilities, because I just have money to spare. This is why I told him no, I didn't make that kid, so it's not my job to fund it. He said, quote unquote, that I wouldn't understand because I'm not a parent. Classic Right Thing is this isn't new. He's always acted like having a kid makes him more important. He throws jabs when I buy stuff or when I take trips, or when I buy clothes or dinner out, but apparently it's making me selfish to enjoy my life. Am I the asshole?
Speaker 2:No, this motherfucker jealous. He wish he didn't have to take care of them kids. He wish he could spend his money on what he wanted to yeah. Do you understand people that every month when I pay gymnastic fees I go there, goes my truck? Bye I can have my truck and all my toys. I want if I did not have this child to care for. He made the children. It is part. Look, I understand, this is my burden to bear and I only. It's what you asked for and I only got 10 more years.
Speaker 1:That's not true In 10 more, she 18.
Speaker 2:In 10 more years I'll be able to get whatever I want, because a lot of my money is going to be freed up. You're not the asshole. I wouldn't look at you If you were like. If you were like buying your niece or nephew or whatever. It's something every once in a while, kind of help by owning clothes yeah, like that's fine.
Speaker 1:Or if you want to spoil them on your terms, right. But to sit here and say you can help out with $300 a month, how you going to ask your brother?
Speaker 2:for child support.
Speaker 1:That's essentially what he did. This is wild. He did ask his brother for child support. How you finna sit here and ask your brother for child support? His brother said I didn't make that kid. This is crazy. I'm not even funded either. Now listen, I might buy. I might buy a Sylvester, a pair of Jordans every now and then, not Sylvester if I have a son, I swear I'm naming him Sylvester no, no, no.
Speaker 2:I might buy Sylvester a pair of J's every once in a while I can guarantee you his name won't be Sylvester, because I immediately thought about Tweety Bird when you said that.
Speaker 1:I might buy Sylvester a couple of J's, you know, or I might get him some school clothes every once in a while. I might take him on a weekend with me.
Speaker 2:And I might ball out on him so he can see what it's like living with his uncle, and then I'm gonna send him back to you. My nieces and nephews know even the ones that are extended, not really blah blah they know that uncle mo he good for when you was young, I'm gonna buy you some chucks oh, oh, my gosh.
Speaker 1:We were a chuck buying couple and I'm gonna buy you some chucks our nieces and nephews stayed in chucks. They might might even be custom.
Speaker 2:I'm going to get you some chucks because you got to step out on them, but to give your parents $300 every month.
Speaker 1:I'm not doing it, sir. I was not in that vagina with you. This was not a team effort. We did not tap each other in. We know definitively who the child belongs to Like. No, sir, I can't do it and I don't even like your wife. Bye, goodbye. I told you to marry up and you married at eye level.
Speaker 2:You played yourself.
Speaker 1:I told you to marry up. You married at eye level and that's what you get you played yourself.
Speaker 2:And now, here you are crying at me about some $300.
Speaker 1:Asking me for $300. I'm on. Hey, get out of here.
Speaker 2:I got football tickets to buy. Buy Good buy, I'm going to be at the game.
Speaker 1:He said my Gucci Lovers is being delivered.
Speaker 2:I'm checking my tracking right right now, Right now I got to buy my Gucci flip flops so I can F these bees out here.
Speaker 1:No, you got to get that Versace robe that everybody was wearing on T-Town. I just got my Versace robe, so I ain't got it this month. And I'm not going to have it next month either, because I just booked my trip to Bali. So I'm not going to have it next month either, because I'll be in Bali with my Versace robe.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And taking pictures for Instagram. This is wild.
Speaker 2:People I'm taking pictures for Instagram. This is wild. People are in their audacity. This is crazy.
Speaker 1:Audacity is cheap right now. It must be. It must be free, it's like, 99% off Must be free, so everyone's getting a little piece of it.
Speaker 2:Are they getting it at Costco?
Speaker 1:Probably because they finna get, Scan and Go.
Speaker 2:I told you, wait a minute.
Speaker 1:Why was I so excited about that, though I was like I said, are they really talking about getting scan and go? Because I just got really excited. That's just like yesterday when we uh went to the store. When I walked into my friend's house she was like you know, we got a new, uh, what is it right?
Speaker 1:she was like we got a new one and I was like you did, and all three of us, we were like, oh my gosh, we should go. I said when did we get to the age where we get excited for store openings and scanning goals?
Speaker 2:I know I'm old. It's crazy. I know I'm old because I've been looking at the shirts in Sam's Club and Costco. That's a nice shirt. That's a nice shirt.
Speaker 1:Okay, the shorts. I'm going to go back and get those shorts. Did you see those Gap Softening shorts?
Speaker 2:need. No, this has been another episode. This is an episode of life. I do a podcast. If you're not already following us, you can follow us on all social media platforms at facebook instagram, tiktok, youtube and youtube.
Speaker 1:Yes, you can listen to us.
Speaker 2:You can listen to us anywhere you listen to podcasts apple music, I'm sorry. Apple Podcast, spotify, youtube Podcast, iheart all that stuff, all that jazz. You can write in to us at lifehackswithyoupodcast at gmailcom. You get a new episode every Wednesday because she makes me, and until next time peace booskies, peace booskies.
