3PM on Thursday

Where does your loyalty truly lie when you find out your friend’s spouse is cheating? This week on Life After I Do, we dive headfirst into the messy, emotional, and morally gray territory of infidelity, loyalty, and friendship. Spoiler: there are no easy answers.

💔 From what counts as "proof" to whether it's your place to speak up, we explore the layers of complication that come with knowing too much. As one host puts it, “Your mistake breaks us all up”—highlighting how cheating doesn’t just wreck a relationship, it often fractures entire friend groups.

💬 In This Episode:
• What we’d do if we found out a friend’s spouse was cheating
• How friendship dynamics affect whether you speak up or stay silent
• The emotional toll of being caught in the middle
• A married friend shows up with a side chick—what happens next? ("She can't come in my house!")
• Our 2 Cents:
— A controlling mother-in-law demands a prenup
— A partner lies for months about losing his job

This raw and unfiltered conversation will challenge how you define loyalty, test your views on confrontation, and make you rethink what kind of friend you’d be in these high-stakes situations.

🎧 Whether you’ve been betrayed, stayed silent, or spoken up and paid the price—this episode brings the tough questions and real answers.

Transcript

Step Husband: Friends, Loyalty and Cheating

Speaker 1 0:00

If it's like my bestie we've all been friends for so long it's like that's my step husband, so like if you Excuse me?

Speaker 2 0:10

Excuse the fuck out of me.

Speaker 1 0:12

No, it's like if you doing some foul stuff to her, you're technically doing it to me too, Because if things go south. Listen, if things go south, you break up. You break us all up, Like your mistake breaks us all up. I'm not that way.

Speaker 2 0:27

I'm still friends with both sides, but you're not.

Speaker 1 0:29

I'm not picking a side, you're not going to be cool with them anymore.

Speaker 2 0:31

I'm not picking sides.

Speaker 1 0:33

You're not going to be cool with them anymore.

Speaker 2 0:35

Look here.

Speaker 1 0:35

You picked a side Mine. So, like I said, you do her wrong, you kind of did me wrong. Now, look now, now none of us are happy. Hey, everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Life After I Do. I'm your host, nisha G. You know the drill it's her husband, my husband, her lover, the love of my life life, the father of my child.

Speaker 2 1:26

Her homie.

Speaker 1 1:28

Lover friend.

Speaker 2 1:30

Are we not supposed to do that? What that's R Kelly? Oh, damn Damn Moly though. Hey Moskis, hi babe.

Speaker 1 1:41

What's wrong, mama? What's wrong with you? You sound like you're down. Oh no, I think my iron low. You sound like.

Speaker 2 1:45

You sound like you're down. Oh no, I think my iron low you sound like uh.

Speaker 1 1:49

You sound like uh, seleucus.

Speaker 2 1:50

Isn't it? Seleucus? From Sesame Street Highbird.

Speaker 1 1:54

Highbird? Oh, it's Nefeleucus. Whatever it is, I think. I think he was high. He wasn't high, maurice.

Speaker 2 2:00

Look here, you can't go around just saying that he was the resident drug addict. No, he wasn't On Sesame Street. Sesame Street was just imitations of real life people. He was a drug addict. The count was the pimp. Why was the count?

Speaker 1 2:14

the pimp.

Speaker 2 2:15

One One. He was counting. He was down the hall, hurry up. You had the gay couple.

Speaker 1 2:24

Bert and Ernie Bert and Ernie Bert and Ernie. Stop it. Stop. They were not. Yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 2:32

See Snuffle up. It was on the downers, cookie Monster was on the uppers. I'm telling you, they had the whole gang there and the only person that was real was Oscar the Grouch, because he saw what it was like.

Speaker 1 2:45

He was the old man sitting in the window just watching it all unfold. Because I live in a fucking trash. Can Oscar, why are you so grouchy? Because I live in a trash, can I mean, was that by choice? Like, how did we end up here?

Speaker 2 2:58

He wanted to be isolated. You saw how he lived in. Just enough space for him.

Speaker 1 3:03

He lived in just no space for him. A trash can is crazy. Work though Oscar was, he was tired of people.

Speaker 2 3:10

A trash can is crazy work, and Big Bird was on uppers too. Yeah, Big Bird was on something big, Whoa pause.

Speaker 1 3:20

Pause. How was your week, wooskies? My week was good. Oh, that's great. I had a really good Mother's Day.

Speaker 2 3:29

I mean, you know, by the time they hear this, oh, shout out to Happy Mother's Day To all the good mothers out there. Your deadbeats don't deserve nothing. And you know who you are my husband, anyway, I'm keeping it real. Just like there's deadbeats dad, there's deadbeat mothers, oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 3:49

Okay, speaking of deadbeat dads, um, I I can't remember what she was, what state it was, but apparently I think it was the sheriff or something. I gotta get the story straight. But he decided to put up a deadbeat dad wall oh, okay and post all of the deadbeat dads on the wall and I was like how are you gonna, how are you gonna know, like what's, what's your, your standard or guidelines?

Speaker 2 4:14

it was probably the guys that were behind on child support oh, yeah, probably that's, that's probably yeah damn, damn cold work, so how was your week?

Speaker 1 4:24

My week was good.

Speaker 2 4:26

You got excited about Debbie, debbie dead. So I see no, you know what? Here's Side note. I agree with that creator. That said that being being a good father Is so exhausting that sometimes being a Debbie Is appealing. Because, they just Shut up, they just seem like they got life. They just have the life. They have the life. They stress free. They ain't worry about how these kids getting nothing. They ain't worry about how these kids getting nowhere they not worried about them eating Nothing.

Speaker 1 4:55

All they worry about is the next thing Taking care of themselves. That's it. It sounds so, which is perfectly fine. It sounds so free. You just need to not procreate.

Speaker 2 5:04

It sounds so free. I was just trying to have a good time.

Sesame Street Characters and Childhood Memories

Speaker 1 5:07

Okay, but you didn't do it responsibly. Therein lies the problem. That's because my wife was drunk that night. That's not a thing. She was like Not a thing.

Speaker 2 5:17

My wife said how you doing.

Speaker 1 5:21

How you doing. No, I mean, I had a really good week, I had a good Mother's Day.

Speaker 2 5:24

Were you out there, like normally in that wine, cooler showing up.

Speaker 1 5:27

What? No, not at all. You weren't showing up. No, not at all. Okay, I really enjoyed my Mother's Day gifts that was fun, thank you.

Speaker 2 5:36

My wife is. We're going to have to get you a new nickname because everything, everything, pink.

Speaker 1 5:43

Oh yeah, cause my I wanted like new gym gear and stuff, so the hubby came through with my new gym bag and clips and sleeves and everything, so that was pretty cool, thank you. All pink everything, all pink, everything. So now I can be that girl in the gym.

Speaker 2 6:00

You don't know that, but I ordered you some pink shaker cups too. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 6:03

You don't know that, but I ordered you some pink shaker cups too. Oh my gosh, that's not necessary, but I appreciate it Pinked out, I appreciate it. All pink, everything. But yeah, I hit 275 for two reps on my squat. Okay, that was really exciting. I was really actually really excited about that.

Speaker 2 6:22

Can I tell you what really happened what? My wife was so excited about hitting these 275 for two that she hit me. Oh my gosh, I barely tapped you, maurice, and when she hit me, I had to. I couldn't clutch my pearls because I wasn't wearing them, so I had to clutch my chest. He clutched his pecs and I said oh my god, did she just attack me? You are so the sheer, the sheer force behind that attack. I said this sound like I would have been attacked.

Speaker 1 6:52

I almost pressed charges okay, doubtful, but then I said, if I, press charges it's going to cancel out the life insurance.

Speaker 2 6:59

I don't have to pay nothing to it, so does that?

Speaker 1 7:01

is it really does that? Is that a thing? Yeah, so my week was good.

Speaker 2 7:04

Is that a? Thing?

Speaker 1 7:05

my week was good. No, is that like? A thing oh yeah, don't kill me no, I'm saying like if I was to press charges against you, or like a sold or something, no, no, oh, I was gonna say I don't think that's crazy, but my week was good.

Speaker 2 7:16

Um, you know, it's always good when, uh, you receive a blessing that you wasn't looking forward to. Oh, you want to want to do it All the time. He may not come when you want him, but he's always, okay, always.

Speaker 1 7:28

If it's one thing he has been, it's faithful, yeah. If it's one thing he has done it, upholds his promises. I'm not going to preach tonight.

Speaker 2 7:38

Because sometimes I be wanting to preach. But it was good. I'm really happy, I'm really excited. I'm really excited for camp. Man, I don't know why I'm excited for camp, like I'm the one going to camp camp, oh gymnastics camp. Yeah, I don't know why I'm excited. Why are you excited for camp? I don't know.

Speaker 1 7:52

I think you're just excited for the road trip, like we're just excited to have, like a few hours a day together, but we're gonna be at the gyms I know, but we're gonna be at different gyms right, because we had never won the city yeah, because we get to go to different gyms and we're gonna take pictures and take notes of what what our gym is lacking and we're gonna go back right, they're still not gonna. We're gonna go right back to management say fix this um.

Speaker 2 8:16

Yeah, but I had a good week. We tried out new gyms on um on last thursday, oh yeah we finally tried out the gym that he's been he all month.

Speaker 1 8:23

I want to try it out. I want to try it out. Finally tried the gym out before we even went to the gym.

Speaker 2 8:29

I thought this was my week.

Speaker 1 8:30

Yeah, it is. Before we even went to the gym, he was convinced that he was going to be signing up, like he was going to sign up before he even worked out at the gym. And what ended up happening, babe?

Speaker 2 8:42

It wasn't my Jewish. And what ended up happening, babe, it wasn't my judge. Like I was really like, I was really happy and excited about, like some of the equipment they had.

Speaker 1 8:51

Yeah, me too. They had nice equipment.

Speaker 2 8:53

But I was like the crowd wasn't my, it wasn't my crowd, it wasn't your community. Nah, it was too country club for me. I like a little ratchet and thorn in mine. You know what I mean. You know what I mean. You know what I mean? Sure, I think I honestly. Maybe I went at the wrong time.

Speaker 1 9:11

I honestly also think that we've just been at our gym like a long, like fairly not a long long time, it's been a year, yeah but we've developed community in our gym and like the people that go there, like even though you're not like besties or anything with the people that go there, but they know you and you know them. And it's like now when you come in.

Speaker 2 9:30

I didn't meet a new uh gym friend this this week who was the guy you were talking to yesterday?

Speaker 1 9:34

jeremiah? Yeah, is that his?

Speaker 2 9:35

name. I said damn yeah. I said yo mama love the bible.

Speaker 1 9:39

Your name is jeremiah well, because when I saw you go over there talk to, I was like I wonder if he knows him from work or something. And what were you talking to him about? Because I was like we were talking about shoes. Okay, oh, that's when he was talking about the hokas and stuff. Yeah, so I mean, yeah, I mean, but yeah, I think that's what.

Mother's Day Gifts and Gym Achievements

Speaker 1 9:53

It wasn't. So. The new gym, the vibe, the equipment was great. The equipment was great. I got humbled. So you know me, I've been using the 60-pound dumbbells, been feeling good, been feeling strong. They have metal dumbbells. Yeah, buddy, I went to pick them up and I said let me sit my stupid ass down.

Speaker 2 10:22

Right, I said I'm going to go ahead and do these 50s today. Yeah, okay, let me pick up these 50s. I, uh, I. I texted my trainer right away. I said these little dumbbells will humble you quick.

Speaker 1 10:34

You think you strong which is crazy, because they it can't possibly be that much it felt. But it's enough like it's enough, and I don't know if it was just like your brain playing tricks with you or what well he was telling me, maybe because I was kind of exhausted from the pull-ups or because we were in a new, a new space too? Nah, no, okay, I thought I tried to make an excuse, yeah but I had, I had a good week all around.

Speaker 2 10:57

You know, blessings on blessings blessings on blessings.

Speaker 1 11:01

I want to thank all the new followers and subscribers.

Speaker 2 11:03

Thanks guys. We appreciate you guys and every day, you guys are taking me closer and closer to working less and less, oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 11:12

Bye, Maurice.

Speaker 2 11:12

I just want you all to know when we start hitting these numbers here. The content is only going to get better because I want to spend more time on the content than I do at work.

Speaker 1 11:23

That's all I'm saying. So he's trying to say the content is up to you, it's up to you, bye.

Speaker 2 11:29

The quality is not how it works, by your powers combined.

Speaker 1 11:34

Ah, oh my gosh, can we please watch it before bed?

Speaker 2 11:38

Yes, ma'am Please.

Speaker 1 11:39

For those of you who didn't? Catch the reference.

Speaker 2 11:42

We can watch it, but it it got to be the Don Tito one, no.

Speaker 1 11:46

No, For those of you who didn't catch the reference, that's Captain Planet. Do you remember the song? Captain Planet, he's a hero. Gonna take pollution down to zero. Gonna help him put Okay that's enough.

Speaker 2 11:59

That's enough. This is copyrighted. That's enough. Heart the heart ring was a waste of time water earth wind. It was the four elements, and then they threw heart in there because you have to have heart with your powers combined.

Speaker 1 12:22

I am Captain Planet.

Speaker 2 12:25

I'm not getting it done. And the thing is, it's clear from the common results of our generation that Captain Planet didn't work.

Speaker 1 12:37

The DARE program didn't work. What else Did AVIT work?

Speaker 2 12:42

Smokey probably didn't work because of these fires in California. I don't think he worked either. I don't think my generation listened to none of that.

Speaker 1 12:51

We had PBS. Nobody followed any of the rules into life from PBS. No what we?

Speaker 2 12:56

got today. What we got today.

Speaker 1 12:58

Damn, that's cold, cold, oh, no, wait. Ok, I wanted to ask you did you see the video? It's a video that went viral of this, this guy I guess he's a firefighter, but it's his birthday party, right? And so he calls his wife up to the stage at the birthday party. He's like I know it's my birthday. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and she had been cheating on him and she had been cheating on him and he like laid her out like he didn't like knock her out, but he like exposed her.

Speaker 2 13:27

you didn't see that part, oh well I knew what was coming, so I just I was fighting with her oh was it bad it was.

Speaker 1 13:33

Oh, it was.

Speaker 1 13:34

It was bad like apparently he had video and everything she started crying and everybody, because people didn't know if he was joking at first, because he gave her like, he grabbed her face, he gave her a big kiss. He's like wow, like that. And everybody was like, oh, ok, like you know. And then he was like she was laughing and he was like I can know everything like that. And then everybody was giggling because they think you know, it's like playful love, love, love, banter. And then he just starts laying it in and he was like, yeah, I had to sit there and watch his small pelt and all this other stuff, and that's why you had to take all these plan B's. And then everybody was like and then the lady in the back goes is this, is he for real, is this real? And then everybody was like I don't know if this is a joke, a skit, Like.

Speaker 1 14:15

And then they started to realize like no, no, this is real. Like she, it was real. But, shout out to the person who ever was recording, because they got everything. Whoever was recording stayed just like. This Still hand gave a little bit of zoomerization. I said whoever was recording.

Speaker 2 14:34

Zoomerization is wild.

Speaker 1 14:36

Whoever was recording, I bet you they knew and he was like get this, get this.

Speaker 2 14:43

Because I'm going to perform, Get this. So I was like I this, get this Because.

Speaker 1 14:45

I'm going to perform, Get this. So I was like I said oh my gosh, so OK, that kind of takes me into like today, OK, oh I kind of want to know.

Speaker 2 14:55

OK.

Speaker 1 14:56

OK, it's kind of, but not. Are you telling me something?

Speaker 2 14:59

No, this is a safe space. Ok, let me blink.

Speaker 1 15:10

We listen and we judge slightly greatly. Um, okay, so if you had a friend who you know, whose spouse was committing adultery, okay, or cheating for for fact, for like undeniable yeah, okay, would you, or would you not tell your friend?

Speaker 2 15:29

how close am I to this friend?

Speaker 1 15:32

let's say, you guys have been friends five years like first first, would you or would you not like, is it within your character?

Speaker 2 15:41

I think I would to tell or not.

Speaker 1 15:42

I think I would okay, that's a different story yeah, because I was.

Speaker 2 15:45

I would Okay, that's a different story. Yeah, because I was capping. Yeah, because I was capping, but I think I would ask a question first, okay, Because I'd be like, hey man, you got an open relationship.

Speaker 1 15:59

Okay, I don't think that's how you should go into it. Hey, hey man, y'all open. Because then he might think you're, I'd be like, hey man, are y'all open? Because then he might think you're, I'd be like, hey man, what's your thoughts on an open?

Speaker 2 16:05

relationship.

Speaker 1 16:07

Then he might think that you're a swinger I'm not and that you want to invite him and his no.

Speaker 2 16:13

I would preference it with something like you know, me and my wife was having a discussion and you know we and I would say that we both disagree. But what's your thoughts? Like you know, I would formulate like a conversation and then, as I hear his thoughts, I'm like, oh, not determined if I should tell him or not.

Speaker 1 16:26

OK, so like what type of proof do you think you would need to feel comfortable?

Speaker 2 16:31

I would need concrete proof.

Speaker 1 16:33

OK, what would be concrete, like I need to like have seen them or like seen like. Seen them do what, though? Like what if they're out and about, like holding hands and going to lunch?

New Gym Experiences and Life Updates

Speaker 2 16:43

but then it comes to find out that's her cousin look, here I would need proof, okay, because I'm not going to drop a bomb on a marriage or relationship that could implode it, because if I'm wrong, that's going to greatly affect my friendship right, and so that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 16:58

Do you trust your judgment?

Speaker 2 17:01

yeah, I mean my initial judgment be like hey, man, um, you might want to check it out.

Speaker 1 17:09

Wait what I want to check it out. Hey man, you might want to check it out.

Speaker 2 17:14

I might just find the other person. It was like social media posts. I might just start sending the posts. Hey, you see that. Sending your friend posts or the spouse, the friend, see, see this Boom.

Speaker 1 17:24

But that's okay, but that I don't think that helped them deduce themselves. Ok, but if my friend suspected you of cheating and she just started sending me videos and reels on Instagram?

Speaker 2 17:38

I'm saying like if I had the evidence of like them together on.

Speaker 1 17:41

Oh, like you would. You would snap a picture of them or something and then send your friend that picture and be like oh, hey, I saw your wife today, or the other person is like them in specific places and stuff. But that's crazy, though, If they're cheating chances are?

Speaker 2 17:54

they probably won't be. Some people don't.

Speaker 1 17:57

Okay, but let's say for the sake of discussion Look here. What type of concrete evidence would be sufficient enough for you to seriously go to your friend and sit down with him and say hey, I think you know I don't want to overstep my boundaries.

Speaker 2 18:12

I would need to see some type of intimate contact.

Speaker 1 18:15

Okay, so what is that? Like a kiss on the lips or a cheek, because we know how you feel about kissing with tongue and no tongue.

Speaker 2 18:20

A kiss period. You don't consider tongue.

Speaker 1 18:22

A kiss period, okay.

Speaker 2 18:24

Hand holding a grabbing of the ass.

Speaker 1 18:26

What hand-holding, grabbing at the ass? What if she plays sports and that's like her teammate?

Speaker 2 18:30

Okay, this is where your daughter gets it from, just kidding. This is why she always has a backpack full of spare body parts, so that she can always feel like she's ahead. Side note you cannot play. I Stole your Nose with my daughter because she has a thousand noses in her make-believe backpack.

Speaker 1 18:49

That's the recourse Every time he's like oh, I stole your nose. She was like, I got another one Because when she was little she used to literally like cry, like give my nose back, she's like daddy won't give me my nose back. I'm like girl, the nose is on your face. I was like just pretend like you got another one, that he can never take them from you.

Speaker 2 19:13

So you're the problem, but I would need something as close to concrete as possible.

Speaker 1 19:17

Okay, what about you? Yes, I would need something concrete. I would probably investigate, myself, okay.

Speaker 2 19:27

Probably. You would I know, because here's the thing, the thing for me I feel like I would be every time she says here's the thing, it's gonna be some bs, go ahead, here's the thing, go, go ahead and give it to us, shut up, go ahead and give it to us, okay.

Speaker 1 19:44

so it kind of goes back to what you said in the beginning, like how, how long have you known this friend? Like, if it was my best friend, shout out to Jazzy, jazzy, I love you. If I had. Oh, she deserves it.

Speaker 2 19:55

Goodbye, hold on, hold on. I'm just playing Jazzy, don't come for me.

Speaker 1 20:01

If I had suspected my best friend's husband doing something?

Speaker 2 20:06

inappropriate. Don't talk about my boy like that. He wouldn't do that.

Speaker 1 20:08

I know, but I'm saying for the sake of the conversation. This is the person that I'm close to right, so this is 20 plus years in the game. I'm coming to her, even if I suspect.

Speaker 2 20:19

Because it's 20 plus years.

Speaker 1 20:20

Yes, even if it ain't nothing, even if it didn't sit well with my spirit, I'm going to just let you know, because she knows because, only because we have a relationship to, where she knows that she's just not going to take what I say at face value, like that's. That's the person she's been married to more than half her life, so she's also going to do her own digging, you know but she knows that I'm not trying to start mess.

Speaker 2 20:44

But that's why I told you the level of friendship and the length of friendship also matters, Because there's that conversation Like if it's someone you've known a couple of years. That's a different conversation.

Speaker 1 20:54

If I've known them a couple of years, I'm not going to go to the extent of like, maybe having concrete evidence, I'm going to just be like, look, if it was me and I saw my man do some shit like that, I'm going to just let you know I wouldn't be comfortable with it, but I don't know what your relationship is like.

Speaker 2 21:11

Oh my God, I miss LaJules. I just thought about her. You told her she liked him. Do you think I care what this man does?

Speaker 1 21:21

No, I don't care, I don't even know where he is half the time. I miss her. I miss her too, but I miss her. I miss her too. Um, but yeah, so like if it's it's like if it's like my bestie we've all been friends for so long it's like that's my step husband. So like if you excuse me, excuse the fuck out of me no, it's like if you doing some foul stuff to her, you're technically doing it to me too. Because if, if, things go south.

Speaker 1 21:49

listen, if things go south, you break us all up, Like your mistake breaks us all up. I'm not that way.

Speaker 2 21:57

I'm still friends with both sides.

Speaker 1 21:59

I'm not picking a side, you're not going to be cool with them anymore.

Speaker 2 22:01

I'm not picking sides, you're not going to be cool with them anymore. Look here.

Speaker 1 22:10

You picked a side, mine. So, like I said, you do her wrong, you kind of did me wrong. Now, look now, now none of us are happy.

Speaker 2 22:13

See, I have to be the mediator for the kids because I'm their black dad so she's like your step wife no, no, no, no, she was my surrogate bye, but anyway, yeah.

Speaker 1 22:26

So I I feel like if it was a very like valued, long-term friendship, like my bestie, I personally would do, digging myself like I would take the extra mile right to make sure that what I'm seeing, or what I believe to be seeing, is what was what's actually happening, and then I would to be honest with you, to to be 100 with you, I might be that friend that confronts him First, first.

Speaker 2 22:53

Like you better tell her. If you don't tell her, I'm going to tell her.

Speaker 1 22:55

Well, no, not even like to back him into a corner.

Speaker 1 22:57

I wish one of your friends would, but just to be like hey, like you know what you're doing is wrong and that's my best friend, so you can either square it away with her right now or like, like you got till Friday, 5 PM. I don't know what you want me to do. All I can give you is till Friday. It's Thursday at three, so I can only give you till Friday to five. I'm gonna let you go to work, let it marinate on your mind a little bit. When you get off work, I'm going to be on your couch, like I just came to visit and I'm gonna be waiting for you to be like hey, you know, can you give us a minute or go home so I can talk to my wife. And I'll be like yeah, I think that's the deadline is dialogue give you till five on Friday.

Speaker 1 23:38

What are you, the transporter, just saying?

Speaker 2 23:41

but if it's somebody like, you know you don't fucked up right if I've known you a year, I'm sorry, calling you an equalizer bye.

Speaker 1 23:48

if I've known you a year and I'm going to start calling you an equalizer Bye. If I've known you a year and I suspect, or if I perceive, that your spouse has been committing adultery, I'm probably going to say something.

Speaker 2 23:58

But the thing when I think about this more for me is like I literally would have to see it, because I am so hands off when it comes to other people's, like marriage and relationship, like I don't know nothing unless you tell me or you stumble across it right, like that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 24:12

I'm not looking for it, right?

Speaker 2 24:13

so if I, if I was to come across something, I'd be like I I would probably miss missing it, depending on the length of friendship and like how well we know each other.

Speaker 1 24:20

I would mention something right okay, so let me, let me flip it on you, kind of like what we were talking about last week, what we're talking about last week if okay so if your friend who you know is married. Like, let's say, we had to get together at our house right, okay, so we know all of our friends are married, right? If your friend showed up to our house with another woman who was not, that's not cool with not who was not his wife.

Speaker 2 24:46

That's not cool.

Speaker 1 24:47

In a capacity of like this is my plus one. What does that conversation look like From you to your friend? Like what would you say?

Speaker 2 24:57

I'm gonna step inside. Who this bitch?

Speaker 1 25:00

Hoppo who this woman?

Speaker 2 25:02

And I'm like, hey man, look here you know, she can't come in my house. I personally don't care that she's here, because I don't know what your situation is here and I'm not going to assume anything. But the woman ain't cool with this.

Speaker 1 25:16

So you're making sense.

Speaker 2 25:17

So since she's making them uncomfortable, she can't be here.

Speaker 1 25:20

If y'all have not made that, if y'all haven't made that announcement, that's what.

Speaker 1 25:23

I'm saying To everybody, like if I'm not aware that y'all are separated, going through a divorce, like whatever the case is, you can't bring that woman in my house. I'm sorry, my loyalties still lie with your wife. That's going to be a hard no. She's out to sell on the porch. She cannot come to the cookout. She better not set foot in my backyard. That's all I'm saying. But what if she brought oxtailsails? She can drop off the oxtails. First I'll manipulate her into dropping off the oxtails and then I'd politely escort her back through the front door oh no, she got oxtails.

Speaker 1 25:55

I'm gonna let her in well, I mean honestly, I probably let her keep her oxtails, because she a damn stranger, I don't know where she came from. You can't eat everybody's cooking you're right I don't know where this woman came from.

Speaker 2 26:05

There's certain cooking you take a risk for.

Speaker 1 26:09

No it's not. It's not, yeah, but no, definitely she wouldn't be in my house. Ok, but so the next part of that is After speaking to your friend.

Speaker 2 26:19

OK.

Speaker 1 26:20

OK, and let's just say he tells you, you know, we just going, we going through a rough patch. This is just my little friend like her and I hang out every now and then. Do you can't be here, ok, she?

Speaker 2 26:33

can't be here. I'm going to tell you. I'm going to tell him the same. I'm going to tell him the same thing I told my brother Stop bringing these women to my house If you're not serious. I'm tired of meeting Kate and Edith Bye Too Right. Meeting kate and edith bye too right. Only in the, in the in and to that point when I said that to him. The next woman I met was his wife. Yeah, I said, bro, I'm not trying to be invested in all these women and you dropped them like flies like.

Speaker 1 27:01

I mean in a technical sense, he wasn't dropping them, he. He laid out the, the, the deal, and you know it is what it is.

Speaker 2 27:09

But it's just like what I'm not going to do and what I'm not, what I have no intentions of, because here's my thing. I would say I am friends with you, okay Right, so I don't want to cultivate any type of relationship or friendship with anyone that's not going to be permanently attached to you, or at least attached to you for a period of time. And when I say extend, I'm talking about five years plus. Oh gosh, Like she's going to be in some cookout pictures type extended.

Speaker 1 27:36

Like when we go back to the family photo album we'll be like, oh my gosh, that's from when y'all was dating, right, you remember her? Oh, I remember her, I remember her.

Speaker 2 27:44

Right.

Speaker 1 27:44

So if it's not, that don't, don't, don't be bringing her around here I don't, that's that's, that's just me yeah, okay, but okay, here that was saying my thing is because this, also this because don't bring her around.

Speaker 2 27:55

I think she cool and I hope y'all work it out. You drop her, yeah. And now here I am friends with somebody I do not even with no more on instagram and now I look weird right crazy work, ain't that your ex-brother following you?

Speaker 1 28:07

bye, bye, um, okay, but the other part of that is okay. He tells you that's just his friend, right, that they hang out sometimes because you know him and his wife right they can't hang out here, but the next time we see them he's with his wife. Now you know that he has not my business. It's not my business. Okay so he's your friend and his and his spouse is cheating. It's your business to tell him his spouse is cheating. But since he's your friend and he's the one that's cheating.

Speaker 1 28:42

You feel no obligation to his spouse to let his spouse know that he's cheating.

Speaker 2 28:45

Let me be for. Let me be clear on this my loyalty lies with my friend. I think that's crazy. If I have not cultivated a friendship with both of you, my loyalty does not lie with both of you. There are many couple friends that we have where my loyalty is with the husband.

Speaker 2 29:06

So the wife can just kick rocks if he's screwing somebody else, I'm not saying kick rocks because I'm not going to tell her, but the person I am, I'm going to have a conversation with him and say, hey, what's your behavior right now? Don't align with my morals and beliefs. So I can't be around you if this is what you're partaking in?

Speaker 1 29:23

Yeah, because that's not the type of man I hang with.

Speaker 2 29:26

That conversation will be had. Yeah, Because the last thing you're going to do is think that you're going to do some dirt and then try to influence me to do some dirt Because I'm happy over here. Player.

Speaker 1 29:34

Well, not only that. They say you are who you hang around, Just like they say you are what you eat.

Speaker 2 29:39

But then your curls will be stronger because you hang around me. That's true, wow.

Speaker 1 29:44

My curls would be stronger yeah.

Speaker 2 29:47

Curls for girls. Yeah, but so like Says the person who keeps my 225. Go ahead.

Speaker 1 29:53

What were you saying? I can't, you cannot.

Speaker 2 29:55

I'm going to do it on Wednesday just because you're there, like I said, I will have that conversation with him. Like, hey, I don't want no mess here, because I know that, even though I may not say nothing, my wife gonna tell her something, and that's another thing. I know this certain situations I ain't gotta say nothing because it's gonna be said by somebody else. And when he looked at me I'm like, hey, man, you know what you did.

Speaker 1 30:21

If, if, if everything wasn't on the.

Speaker 2 30:24

You just gonna assume I'm gonna tell a wife because you are because every time we get together and we, it never happened, never it fails. It happens every single time. What there comes a point in the day where we all split, where we're all split, women are in here we start together and then, for some reason, the men end up outside.

Speaker 1 30:43

All the women end up inside and then the kids are going the kids just doing whatever the hell it is they do they just they, whatever.

Speaker 2 30:50

And when the women start talking, they start some wives start devoting too much shit that they have to know that's gonna get back to us. Because what do you mean?

Speaker 1 31:02

because y'all tell us we don't divulge anything okay we don't divulge anything, go ahead and lie do you think your friendship like if it's, do you think your friendships could survive you telling them that their spouse is cheating?

Speaker 2 31:16

If it doesn't, you wasn't my friend to start with when I'm trying to be honest with you. You wasn't, because what if?

Speaker 1 31:22

they're upset with you Because that happens. Okay, then you shouldn't.

Speaker 2 31:24

Because here's my thing, I've set a standard.

Speaker 1 31:25

Okay, then you shouldn't, because here's my thing, I've set a standard no, I'm talking about like if, if your friend, his wife, was cheating, but he got mad at you for telling him oh it's okay, my conscience is clear. I mean, your conscience could still be clear with you ignoring what you saw just because, just because ignorance is bliss, don't mean it's okay be ignorant that's true, that's true.

Speaker 2 31:52

That's true. It's funny you say that when you're ignorant about a lot of things, A lot of important things Like what?

Speaker 1 31:59

Maurice Like, who our mortgage holder is I know who our mortgage holder is. How?

Speaker 2 32:02

to pay the bills.

Speaker 1 32:02

I know how to pay the bills. No, you don't, man, I know how to pay the bills. It's fine, you're well taken care of. I. I know how to pay the bills. You pay the people that the money's owed to boom. Okay, it's pretty damn self-explanatory.

Speaker 2 32:17

You just whoever the people are, you, bam, that's it and also, I don't believe I have any friends that would be upset for me telling them if, if, if I wasn't assuming and if I actually had concrete evidence, I told him it was true. I don't think I have any friends that would be upset when we tell them do you think that?

Speaker 1 32:34

okay, so would you want your friends to tell you? I would know, I would know.

Speaker 2 32:39

It's funny that you think you're that bright um, this has been another episode and most likely the last episode. It just came out. I love you. Other life, as I do podcasts we, we, we made it 86 episodes and I think this is gonna or maybe 87 or 88, something like that, and this will be the last one, clearly. My wife has told me.

Speaker 1 33:08

It's because my iron low.

Speaker 2 33:10

Okay.

Speaker 1 33:14

You think you would be able to tell, yes, yeah, I have a whole separate family. I've hid from you for a decade.

Speaker 2 33:23

That I would know, strictly based on how you mother, why I wouldn't have time for the other family.

Speaker 1 33:35

No, you wouldn't have time. There's nothing left in the tank because let me tell you, I ain't got nothing left in the tank today. I ain't got nothing left. That's like I tell you, I ain't got time to cheat.

Speaker 2 33:45

I just I ain't got time to entertain it's too much.

Speaker 1 33:49

It's a lot of energy, like, even just like when people flirting with you you don't even know they flirting with you. You be like you do, apparently, when I'm told.

Speaker 2 33:59

No, I said you know when they flirt with me.

Speaker 1 34:01

Oh yeah, that's because you know it's not the brightest bunches out there anymore.

Speaker 2 34:08

Okay, it's not the brightest bunches out there anymore.

Speaker 1 34:09

Okay, it's not the brightest bunches, they just be too desperate nowadays, you know but anywho, um yeah, so you think you'd be able to tell. I think I would be able to tell, tell what about cheating?

Speaker 2 34:18

no, you wouldn't, I've been cheating for 23 years. You've been what cheating for 23 years with who.

Speaker 1 34:25

Jackie really my alter ego. You're so, my alter ego, you're so dumb, my alter ego. I don't got to cheat.

Speaker 2 34:34

I married three women.

Speaker 1 34:35

You got Jackie, me, Patricia.

Speaker 2 34:39

Vacation base with my baby.

Speaker 1 34:40

Vacation base yeah.

Speaker 2 34:42

She's cool.

Speaker 1 34:43

Haven't seen her in a minute though, right, yeah.

Speaker 2 34:45

I'm not going to see her in July either, because it ain't really vacation.

Speaker 1 34:48

It's not. I mean, we can take her to an overnight daycare.

Speaker 2 34:53

No, I love my child too much for that.

Speaker 1 35:01

So you're. So any who back to the topic at hand.

Speaker 2 35:06

You cheating, oh you, what do you mean?

Speaker 1 35:11

That's the topic again. Me cheating? Yeah, I don. No, I don't at games she finally admitted and then I don't. And you know I never say cheat, I strategize at games, it's, it's, I strategize the biggest cheater I don't cheat, babe, it's called strategy get back to the topic, babe. It's called strategy. Get back to the topic at hand. It's called strategy.

Speaker 2 35:31

Get back to the topic at hand.

Speaker 1 35:33

Okay, Anywho. So would you be really so? You're willing to risk your friendship?

Speaker 2 35:40

I'm willing to risk anything for what's right, because, at the end of the day, I'd rather have a clear conscience and know that my morals are intact than to be the opposite of that.

Speaker 1 35:52

What if your friend becomes like combative and they think that?

Speaker 2 35:55

you know, like oh you think you're better than me.

Speaker 1 35:58

You think you know.

Speaker 2 35:59

I have firearms. Oddly enough, it happens.

Speaker 2 36:04

My thing is is that they're going to anger is an emotion and that's what they're feeling in the moment, and I will let them get it off their chest and I'll say well, you're welcome to leave and have a good life. I doubt it would be that smooth. I'm at my age, I don't fight anymore. Not him saying at my age, jesus, I don't fight anymore at my age. It's so like, if you want to, if you get physical with me, I'm shooting you. What I'm shooting? I'm defending myself, I'm shooting. And I say this all the time so they know I'm going to shoot you, I'm not fighting, I don't I think, that's a little aggressive, though.

Speaker 2 36:42

no, is it? Yeah, it was aggressive that you thought you could try me.

Speaker 1 36:46

I mean whatever happened to like knock if you bug yeah yeah, they bucked and I pulled the trigger bye stupid. They knocked and I pulled the trigger because your life was immediately threatened. Immediately threatened, you felt. You felt I can't debil. Well, it's nice to know that you would be an honest friend. I, I'm going to tell you the truth. Yeah, were you like it or not? Yeah, I would be an honest friend, the only person I would lie to is you Well keep lying to me.

Speaker 2 37:17

And I mean I don't lie. Let me clear that out. I lied to you about certain things because I don't want to like hurt your feelings.

Speaker 1 37:26

I can understand that.

Speaker 2 37:27

I've been doing that for 23 years. See, I knew that was coming. It's fine. I know, as I've said many times on here, my wife doesn't stroke my ego, so I know she don't lie to me. Just tell me, babe, how does this look? Bad? Don't do it.

Speaker 1 37:44

I've never said you look bad.

Speaker 2 37:45

I said how this look? I didn't say me oh, you know you never. You don't tell me I look bad. You be like, I mean there's room for improvement. That's you saying it's bad.

Speaker 1 37:56

I don't say it like that, that's okay.

Speaker 2 37:58

You give me different versions of oh, bless your heart.

Speaker 1 38:01

No, I don't.

Speaker 2 38:09

If it doesn't look good, I let you know.

Speaker 1 38:10

Like it could be better. Yeah, different versions of bless your heart. What do you want me to do? I don't mind sometimes I do lie, like when you were showing me pictures okay alright this has really been the last episode.

Wedding Drama and Relationship Deception

Speaker 2 38:23

I'm done, I'm done, I'm done. The iron's low. Yeah, go ahead and try to blame them on your made-up condition.

Speaker 1 38:33

I'm not my usual self.

Speaker 2 38:35

I hope every steak you eat in the next three weeks tastes like dog shit.

Speaker 1 38:39

Wow, that's harsh. That's harsh Because I have like three steaks planned for the week, so that's kind of harsh. Damn, damn.

Speaker 2 38:49

Play Damn, played yourself.

Speaker 1 38:53

Damn, you played yourself. Look at you, look at you Played yourself.

Speaker 2 38:57

You know what? I'm out here with my Bruce Leroy glow. You're not going to take my glow.

Speaker 1 39:04

I'm not. I think you are fabulous.

Speaker 2 39:07

Okay, don't lie for the people.

Speaker 1 39:08

Gone with the wind. Are you done? Gone, are you done? I think you are gone. Gone the wind. Gone with the wind. Fabulous. It's been a long day for me, guys. I'm sorry. It's been a long day for me. I've been up since like seven. Wow, really Wow.

Speaker 2 39:34

I know.

Speaker 1 39:35

Oh my gosh, okay, let's go ahead and hop right on into our deuces Gotcha bitch the mail. Cut it out, let's do this I can't with you. Am I the asshole for telling my fiance that I don't want his mom in our wedding photos because she's been trying to get me to sign a prenup that she wrote up?

Speaker 2 39:59

OK, let's go.

Speaker 1 40:00

I'm 27 and getting married next summer. My fiance is 29 and we've been together for almost five years. His mom has never liked me. She's very involved in his life and I've always felt like she sees me as some kind of threat to their bond. For the past year she's been bringing up prenups consistently not my fiance, his mom. She started sending me articles, books, even a sample prenup that she wrote up herself like literally a Google doc. It had stuff in it like that. I waive all my rights to future earnings and if I gained weight after the wedding I would agree to go to counseling. I'm not joking. I told her it was inappropriate and that I wouldn't be discussing legal documents with her. My fiance backed me up at first but over time I noticed he started saying things like she's just trying to protect me or you know how she gets. He never directly told her to stop.

Speaker 1 40:50

Things hit a breaking point a few weeks ago when she brought up the same prenup again at a family dinner in front of her relatives. She said that I was being difficult and that a woman who refuses to protect a man's assets has no business getting married. I was humiliated. I left the table and we had a huge fight afterwards. I told my fiance that I don't want her in our wedding photos. I said that she can come to the ceremony and be there if she wants, but that I don't want her posing in our couple shots or our family portraits.

Speaker 1 41:22

I feel like she's made it clear she doesn't actually want this marriage to happen and I don't want to look back at my wedding album and feel fake smiles with someone who's made the process so miserable. Now his whole family is furious. He says that I'm escalating things and being too harsh. I told him I'm just setting a boundary after being disrespected over and over. My mom understands where I'm coming from, but I think, but thinks that I should let it go to keep the peace. I feel like if I back down again, she'll just keep walking all over me. So am I the asshole for telling my fiance that I don't want his mom in our wedding photos after she's put me through all of this? No, I don't think so either. This is what I think is crazy. I think it's crazy that Prince.

Speaker 2 42:06

Bishop, I think it's crazy that even before we get married that we're having issues with your mom and that you are already setting that might be a sign of a great marriage.

Speaker 1 42:18

Listen that you you're setting a precedent that your mom, you're not going to stand up to her, you're not going to defend me and you're not going to take into consideration when I tell you that I'm feeling disrespected or uncomfortable and that's going to be the remainder of our marriage, right? Because now what it does also is it reinforces to your mother that she can pretty much do what she wants.

Speaker 1 42:43

She has say so in our relationship, she has say so in our marriage. She still has a form of control over you and is masking it as oh, this is our bond. He's not your man Like I don't know, I don't know how to, maybe because I'm not a boy mom, Like I get it. I'm not a boy mom. He's not your man Like I get it. You had a bond. You guys are strong. You're his mom. You will forever be his mother.

Speaker 2 43:09

Is it wrong, but he ain't't your man is it wrong that it's giving me either single mother or only child vibes? It could be like one or the other it could be.

Speaker 1 43:19

and I and I here's the thing I can totally empathize with the um.

Speaker 1 43:25

Empathetic no, it's rare, but she admits it, I'm kidding um, I can empathize with the whole idea of you know, being close to your, your, your son, and you guys, let's just say, if she was a single, a single mom, and it's like you guys, you know, growing up together, you guys have this bond. It's always been you and him, for now, there to be another woman in his life who is going to have his attention, who's going to have you know, him, basically, and a part of you feeling like what you're not about to do is come in here and just take him away from me. I can, I can empathize with that. Right, I can empathize with that because I think the difference in that and like girl moms is like the daughter is my baby. So, yes, I'll be giving her or you'll be giving her away one day to a man. But when it comes to, but when it comes to I, I would think like the bond, or them coming over, things like that, it's like mom is probably gonna be, I'm gonna be, leasing.

Speaker 1 44:27

You'll be leasing her by Maurice. She's Bye, maurice, she's not a car, but she can always come back here. Well, okay, that's fair, but I just say that to say only because you know, I have a friend who's going through that right now and her son just got married and, like she said, it was her and her son for so long Right, and now he's clinging to his wife, which you know is what he's been raised to do. But that doesn't mean, you just leave mom behind.

Speaker 2 44:51

That's the. That's the natural order of things yes. Once you go off and get married, it is typical that now all the time it's going to be spent with the wife, the wife's family. The kids are going to know the wife's side of the family.

Speaker 1 45:06

That's just. He's prioritizing his wife.

Speaker 2 45:08

That's just typical. I don't think she's an asshole. I think that the fiancé needs to understand that you're starting a covenant in a family with your wife and that's going to be outside of your mother. Your mother does not need to be inside of your marital business. You'll never have a good, solid marriage if you constantly let your mother half her way intercede and give her input. Me personally, if this was my mother, I would just lie to her and tell her that we already have one, just so she'd shut up but you shouldn't have to do that.

Speaker 2 45:49

You're a grown ass man sometimes let's hear, sometimes it's okay to lie to keep the peace. But you shouldn't have to do that. You're a grown ass man. Sometimes let's hear, sometimes it's okay to lie To keep the peace, because I clearly love you, because I asked you to marry me, I love my mother because that's my mother, of course. So I'm going to lie to one of y'all, and I'd rather lie to her.

Speaker 1 46:06

So we don't start off on a bad foot.

Speaker 2 46:08

Because she's going to be more forgiving.

Speaker 1 46:09

Yeah, but she's going to be really upset if anything goes south. And you told her all these years you had a prenup and then your wife ended up taking 75%. She's going to be real upset with you. Here's the thing.

Speaker 2 46:21

Let's flip the prenup, right, okay, everything she wants you to agree to flip it on him too, right. So you got to maintain a certain weight. He got to maintain a certain body fat percentage, right, right. Since you want this to be transactional completely, yeah, let's make it right. Yeah, ok, let's say you don't leave with you, you're not entitled to half of of whatever of his finances Right, but for every year you're in, you get five percent or 10 percent or something, yeah so. And at the 10th year, and you get 10% just for staying with her, staying with him, and an extra 5% for every child you give him. I mean, make it so. When he really think about it, he gonna walk away with 10% of what he had and then just make that deal and then just keep giving him. Kids push out like six babies.

Speaker 1 47:12

No, he wouldn't go for that. I can't. But yeah, I don't think you're, I don't think you're an asshole, if that's the boundary she wants to say you can say when it's your wedding day, so I wouldn't want that fake half of my and he can take. He can take pictures with his mom, that's fine. Yeah, by yourself over there which I'm on. Um, let me see. Am I wrong for wanting to leave after finding out the truth of when my boyfriend was fired?

Speaker 2 47:37

Okay.

Speaker 1 47:39

So two nights ago I did a thing where I went through my boyfriend's phone. I know completely wrong. Now back, uh no, backstory. My boyfriend of two and a half years told me he lost his job a month and a week ago. I didn't find out until the day our landlord texted us that we were late on our rent, which was surprising, as my boyfriend told me that he paid for it already. As I read the text, I immediately got a call from my boyfriend saying it was an error. An hour later he came home to tell me that it was a lie and that he was fired and couldn't pay our rent. Now backstory about us.

Speaker 1 48:13

My boyfriend makes three times what I make in a year thanks to my current position. Before it was five times what I made. So when I got the news, I was a mess. However, I had enough saved up to pay our rent. The following month was super heavy on me, but my boyfriend landed a new job four weeks after everything happened. Now I've been unsettled, as this isn't the first time he's lied to me about our finances. A year ago, his car was repoed in the middle of the night, which shocked me About two nights ago when I went through his phone intuition, or whatever you wanna call it and I read through messages with friends and coworkers about how the firing happened in January it's currently May, which completely shocked me, as he lied to me about when everything happened. Now I'm second guessing everything. What do I do? How do I forgive this Help?

Speaker 2 49:06

She mind your motherfucking business.

Speaker 1 49:10

Not when it comes to money. Why are you?

Speaker 2 49:11

going through his phone.

Speaker 1 49:14

Not when it comes Apparently, because he lie. That's why he lie.

Speaker 2 49:18

He's lying about things money related, which I don't, which is huge, can I talk, go ahead, which I cannot condone.

Speaker 2 49:26

But what? I will say this Sometimes, as a man, the weight the financial weight of a relationship gets heavy and when things are not going your way, it's hard to be honest and upfront because it's almost like embracing the part of failure that you perceive yourself to be in. And you're coming face to face with that when you're telling your wife or your significant other that about what's what's, what's happening. So, and I believe that I don't believe that he, he lied to you just because he won the law. He lied to you out of guilt. He lied to you out of um, this is just my belief. He lied to you out of the understanding, and maybe even possible to hope, that he would probably get a job faster, fast enough to where it really wouldn't affect you. And it's also a thing that you know some men like to do where they don't like to really involve their partner in the finances as much, because they don't want them to work. Because you know, we all know, women have a tendency to over-dramaticize.

Speaker 1 50:34

There's no over-dramaticize when it comes to money and how we're going to have a tendency to over dramatic size. Uh, there's no over dramatic size when it comes to money and how we gonna have a roof over. Am I talking, you talking, we're talking. Well, I'm done, then, sir we're talking.

Speaker 2 50:43

I mean it could it could be. It could be that he felt guilty, it could be that he didn't want you to, he didn't want you to stress, don't want you to worry. I mean, and it's just, it could just be that he wasn't mature enough to handle the emotions with himself, and definitely not mature enough in a place to convey the situation and his feelings to you without feeling attacked or hurt or less than.

Speaker 1 51:07

Or like a failure.

Speaker 2 51:09

That is my answer.

Speaker 1 51:11

I get that.

Speaker 2 51:14

But you already asked what we're going through this morning.

Speaker 1 51:16

Now go ahead and say I'm not gonna say the opposite of what you say. I agree with everything that you said. Yeah, I do, I agree with everything that you said. However, here we go. If I can see where you're coming from, see, I can see where you're coming from, here it is. See, I can see where you're coming from. Every time she says I can see here come the bullshit.

Speaker 1 51:33

I can see where you're coming from, where he was like maybe he could get the other job in time to cover whatever, so that she doesn't have to feel the blunt of it, right, All this hand stuff. This is the problem that comes in. The problem comes in is when, by you holding on to all that information and you keeping me in the dark and making me feel like everything's taken care of, our rent is taken, because what happened if she didn't have money saved up to pay their rent? And he's like OK, this is going to come through and I'm going to get it taken care of and I don't want you to worry about it and the rent is paid. And he's telling her the rent is paid, the bills are paid, everything's good, you don't have anything to worry about. What happens if she didn't have anything?

Speaker 2 52:10

saved up. Look here as someone who has been on unemployment or not on employment disability. He was waiting on that check to hit.

Speaker 1 52:16

You don't know what he was waiting on. Stop it.

Speaker 2 52:19

It was one.

Speaker 1 52:19

Listen, anyway, it was one.

Speaker 2 52:21

It was one of the months where the check hit after the rent was due.

Speaker 1 52:28

No, I say all that to say I agree with what you're saying and I can see from that perspective, but again, we are still in a partnership and your decisions if it's decisions that can directly affect my life too, that's something that you need to bring up.

Speaker 2 52:40

Right, so if he couldn't, pay the rent.

Speaker 1 52:41

If he couldn't pay the rent, he could have just been like you know, look, this is what I have, this is what I have planned. Unfortunately, I lost my job last Friday. Okay, that's already going to be a shocker. He's already processing the fact that he lost his job. So there is that. So he's already under an immense amount of stress, especially if rent is his responsibility. He's already under an immense amount of stress. But if he would have just like buckled up and just been like, hey, like I lost my job, this is how much I've got right now to like get us through. This is my plan. I'm going to pay the rent, I'm going to do this and then after that, in between time, I may need some help to hold me over until I can get the next job.

Speaker 2 53:21

You probably thought he couldn't help her if he was making five times what she was making well, we don't know how much.

Speaker 1 53:26

Five times was he?

Speaker 2 53:27

was subsidizing her. Well, we don't know how much, we don't know she could have been making.

Speaker 1 53:31

She could have been making 13 an hour it don't matter what she's making.

Speaker 2 53:35

He making five times more, so who is she to subsidize? She's subsidizing her lifestyle. Don't go through his phone, don't upset yourself. You're not on his level you're done you? Are you out here living under a section 8 voucher?

Speaker 1 53:52

now you're just adding things to the story. Now you're just adding things. I think we're both tired. I think it's time to go to bed. I'm just starting. I was like you, you're sleepy, my iron's low. I think it's. I think it's time.

Speaker 2 54:11

Um, I think did she ask what she asked over going through the phone.

Speaker 1 54:14

Was that the question? No, like she was, because she wanted to break up with him because he lied. Okay, break up with him.

Speaker 2 54:20

Go find. Make sure you find somebody else to settle down, Because on the premise is that he has lied twice.

Speaker 1 54:25

Where's she going to go? Where's she going to go? Well, she got money in the bank.

Speaker 2 54:29

That's going to run out quick.

Speaker 1 54:30

Oh my gosh, you don't know. Why are you making up things in the story?

Speaker 2 54:33

It's clear that she don't make enough to sustain the lifestyle she used to.

Speaker 1 54:37

She makes enough that she's been paying the damn rent.

Speaker 2 54:39

On her savings and she only be. She was only.

Speaker 1 54:41

And every time she works she put more money back into the savings. She replenishes it, and she was only able to do that because five times? Yeah, but he was making five times and didn't have a savings. Oh, are you sure about that? Yeah, because he didn't pay the damn rent. Had he had savings, he probably could have covered the rent to hold him over until he got the next job.

Speaker 2 55:03

He only had three months saved and he was on month five already. Okay, give him a break. Okay, he's doing it. He's doing the best he can, savannah his best ain't good enough.

Speaker 1 55:13

Not for you, savannah, no we just talking shit. Because that would have to just Listen. I don't want to crush your ego. Whose ego? But his I'd be like. I don't want to crush your ego.

Speaker 2 55:25

But my thing, I just feel like this. I feel like if you feel like you can't trust him, leave. I feel like, if you feel like you, can't trust him. Leave Because if the trust is not there, you're always going to question everything, you're not going to be happy and you're going to find other things and other reasons You're going to question everything, to either snoop or have doubt. So if that's how you really feel, get out of Dodge, yep.

Speaker 1 55:48

I agree with that.

Speaker 2 55:48

This has been another episode of the Life After Do podcast. We appreciate you guys for sticking out with us and I know my wife is boring sometimes. We appreciate all the new followers on TikTok she's struggling. Tiktok Instagram. All the subscribers on YouTube we appreciate all the-. Onlypans. All the engagement. You get a new episode every Wednesday, every Wednesday, and you can write in to us at lifeafterdopodcastgmailcom. And until next time, peace booskies, peace booskies.