Life After I Do Podcast
Marriage and relationships can be tough. You may feel like you’re the only one struggling but you’re not. Life After I do is a weekly podcast where Morice and Kynesha, a black married millennial couple, share their experiences and advice on everything from kids and family to intimacy and connection. Noting is off limits.
In their 21 years together and 7 years of marriage, Morice and Kynesha have learned a lot about what it takes to make a relationship work. They know the importance of communication, trust and commitment. They also know it’s okay to not have it all figured out.
Join them every Wednesday as they talk about their own journey of “Life After I do”.
Life After I Do Podcast
What Jams My Glock
How do you speak your truth without cutting too deep? This week on Life After I Do, Kynesha and Morice wade into the messy middle of marriage—where quirks become pet peeves, and honesty walks a fine line with empathy.
From bathroom antics and baffling dishwasher arrangements to eyebrow-raising comments about postpartum bodies, nothing is off-limits. But beneath the laughs and frustrations lies a deeper truth: how you communicate matters just as much as what you say. As Morice notes, "You can’t take all the sexy out of the room and then ask for sex." 💥
💬 Key Topics This Week:
• The difference between being real and being reckless with your words
• Why postpartum body comments hit differently—and how to support your partner instead
• Relationship pet peeves that test your patience but also reveal your growth
• The harm of one-sided open relationships disguised as "compromise"
• The importance of not lowering your standards—whether it's about marriage before kids or emotional safety
Every listener dilemma this week echoes one core truth: Compromising your core values isn’t love—it’s self-abandonment. We unpack what it means to protect your peace while still showing up in love with honesty, humor, and a whole lot of growth.
🎧 Whether you’re navigating everyday annoyances or major relationship crossroads, this episode will leave you thinking twice about how—and when—you speak your truth.
Listen. Whether she chose wisely or not, it still doesn't excuse him being an asshole. I never said that. And here's the thing Some people be like oh, but he's just being honest, so he can't talk about how he feels.
Speaker 2:No, look there no.
Speaker 1:In this situation.
Speaker 2:No, it's a fine line between honesty and empathy. Like Empathy, I feel like he's lacking empathy. He's not empathetic to her, to his wife and what her feelings and what she's going through. And even if she didn't give a baby, have a baby. It is commonly known that you do not discuss a woman's body with her in any unempathetic way. You have to, and now, mind you, it's very hard to do, but you have to come up in ways to let her know that hey, like, this is just a concerned of mine type deal.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But to just blatantly like. It's like, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:But look to hit her with how you feel about yourself, right? Hey, everybody, and welcome back to your weekly episode of the life after I do podcast. Yes, you're hanging out with your host, nisha G, and I'm here with this guy. You guys know the routine. We'll wait till he's done.
Speaker 2:I am a lover of Nisha G oh goodness, her husband Malito.
Speaker 1:Malito, I'll say let me, let me turn my ringer off, right, because I you know. Okay, so you know how, I don't know if if this happens to you.
Speaker 2:But when you it doesn't.
Speaker 1:I guess it's like intuition or something, but I can feel when your mom was gone when my phone's about to ring, when a message is about to come through or something, it's just like the moment, it just it feels it Like. When I was laying in bed the other day and I went to turn over, literally I said to myself I said my mom's about to call. She called like 15 seconds later and I was like no your mom always on your phone.
Speaker 2:You can hear my mama called me today and she was. I think she was surprised. I answered no, she wasn't, cause I don't be answering my phone.
Speaker 1:Well, I didn't answer my phone this morning Cause it was on. Do not disturb. That's the only reason why. Hey Booskies, how you doing? Hi Booskies, you look really good, thank you, you're not too bad looking yourself. Wow, no, you look great. Especially, especially when you came home from the gym this morning and you got out of the shower and you had no shirt on. Stop.
Speaker 1:I was like not your arms doing it for me, though. Stop trying to fuck. I was like you got a minute. Stop trying to fuck, Like what you doing in 10 minutes Cooking, you know what Shouts out to you for handling all of this week's prep For the second week in a row. Hey, I was upstairs folding clothes.
Speaker 2:Not mine, well, yours wasn't there Because I did my laundry, but I had to get to hers today and I was like, oh my gosh, like girlfriend. But she was really good about it today. I tell myself every week that I'm here because I love you, not because I need you. Boy, please get on with your life Because I love you.
Speaker 1:Get on with you. They are your clothes as well. You're the only one in the house that wears them, cap, because you gave me one of my shirts back today.
Speaker 2:So don't come to me. That was only because I don't know how you know sometimes. No, no, because I normally do laundry.
Speaker 1:So when the laundry is all on the bed and I'm like sorting and stuff, sometimes I have a shirt that ends up in his laundry or he has a shirt that ends up in my laundry just due to me like folding clothes and sorting clothes and stuff like that, so that's how it ended up in my laundry and then I cleaned out my drawers today I said where is my sexual chocolate shirt?
Speaker 1:I cleaned out my drawers today because I okay, so like with my gym, because we can't fit nothing. Well, that too. But also because with my gym, clothes like I only had certain ones that I really like to wear.
Speaker 1:But now because I've been buying clothes, so many clothes like over time oh yeah, and I was only just folding them and putting them on my little chair that's in my closet, and then it's like a pile. So I was like, okay, now I gotta actually designate a drawer for my gym clothes, because now it just looks like I have clothes on the chair in the closet.
Speaker 2:I have to go through my clothes again and get rid of stuff. Yeah, I have brand new Levi's I can't fit. Yeah, they make me mad.
Speaker 1:No, it's okay. Do you want me to repurpose them?
Speaker 2:No oh.
Speaker 1:You gave me a jean jacket?
Speaker 2:I can't. How was your week, Booskies?
Speaker 1:My week was good. What week are we in? Are you done? Are you done?
Speaker 2:I'm just playing like you, though. What you do, I don't what you do. I know what you do, um, because you yelled for jazz, but you came home with me. Well, I mean, okay, whores, I couldn't necessarily go home with jazz.
Speaker 1:You were there um see what actually now?
Speaker 2:I gotta prove my love bye my week was good.
Speaker 1:Um welcome to the month of may.
Speaker 2:Happy birthday this is my husband's birthday month.
Speaker 1:You guys didn't know his birthday was May 1st.
Speaker 2:Mayday. Mayday, so happy birthday, because they knew I was going to be a problem. That's why I was born on Mayday. Mayday, mayday, mayday. Bye, goodbye, but yeah, so we're into the first week of May, which means summer is Well, I mean by the time they hear that it'll be the second week of May. No, it'll be the first full week of May.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but you know, summer is right around the corner.
Speaker 2:And my summer body almost ready.
Speaker 1:Let them cook. Let them cook. Okay, yeah, like in a technical sense, for the goals that I've been working on my summer body is ready, but my goals for summer were not the same as everybody else's for summer, so let me just some might look at me and be like baby.
Speaker 2:You still got some ways to go, but that's because that wasn't my goal let me, let me, um, just say this here I had no issues with your winter body, with my winter body, because I will eat that up too this is true, yummy, yummy this is. This is yummy yummy in my tummy.
Speaker 1:I mean I will say my cake shelf.
Speaker 2:It's crazy.
Speaker 1:Because of the type of workouts I've been doing Kitty sexy Is you know, kitty, sexy, yeah, she cute, she cute, she cute. In my little bodysuit I'd be like, okay, she might be working with something, but no, I'm happy I had a good week though. Yeah, I had a really good week, you know. So, give us a highlight Highlight. Okay, highlight of my week was, you know, mine is gym related, so the highlight of my week was hitting more reps with my volume for my squat, okay.
Speaker 2:So I was really proud about that. I just want you to point out that I am never the highlight of her week.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm literally never the highlight of his week either, but it's okay, you are my depth on my squat with my loaded volume. Oh yeah, you getting low, yeah yeah. And then my friend was like I think now actually you're probably getting too low and I was like I don't know if I'm too low. Well, you know what I mean. I'm like I'm already close to the ground. I'm not that tall.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:So it ain't you know if that makes sense.
Speaker 2:I mean, but look at the video. You sit higher than I sit, so people think you're taller than me.
Speaker 1:What do you mean? Oh, like I'm comfortable, I'm comfortable too. Actually, this isn't comfortable. I'm happy you had a good week. Yeah, how was your week?
Speaker 2:I wasn't done, but how was your week Go ahead and finish? No, my week was fine, it was good.
Speaker 1:It was stupendous, no, stupendous. Huh, now you have to elaborate, because you used such a large word. It was productive. What made it productive? Produced what- Happiness. In what form? In myself. Okay, by doing. I don't want to have to keep digging.
Speaker 2:So can you just like elaborate. By doing life. By doing life.
Speaker 1:Okay, so it sounds like you were just sitting in gratitude. I'm very thankful. Which is great, because I feel like I've been trying to get you around that bend for some time now.
Speaker 2:So you look here. Still a work in progress, but I love the progress that's happening. I never said I was perfect.
Speaker 1:I always say I'm working on it, but I actually see.
Speaker 2:I never say I'm perfect, I always say I'm working on it. No one is perfect, okay, I know a couple of names that's close to it. Okay, you don't. C-o, c-o, c-o.
Speaker 1:C-O, c-o, c-o. Who's C-O?
Speaker 2:C-O. C-o.
Speaker 1:C-O. C-o.
Speaker 2:C-O. C-o.
Speaker 1:Oh, coke Bye, Maurice. He's so damn stupid, I'm all C-O, c-o. I was like I'm here, I am, am thinking it's like an acronym for something. Yeah, now, what was the low light? What was the low point of your week?
Speaker 2:The low point of my week is when I step on the scale of my birthday and I was literally two.
Speaker 1:Wasn't it depressing?
Speaker 2:I was two ounces shy of my goal weight.
Speaker 1:I felt for you.
Speaker 2:And I said it was them damn cookies.
Speaker 1:I don't care, because they're worth it Right cookies, I don't care, because they're worth it, Right I mean.
Speaker 2:But you had a goal and you pretty much met your goal. You made it, but then I went out to eat that day.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, in our life we have been trying to get back on track ever since. Let me tell you let's talk about that for a little bit. Ok, when you have been consistent with your eating habits you know I don't like the word diet, but I'll just use it for the conversation's sake when you have been consistent with your diet and pairing that with the consistency of, like, your workouts and stuff, and you've been seeing the progress, you feel the progress. It just goes to show you, it reminds you that your brain, at any given point, has no problem Re reversing. Like as soon as you give your brain something that you haven't been giving it, your brain is like what well, damn, this feels familiar, this feels really familiar. We went to. What was the name of it?
Speaker 1:destination smoke destination smokehouse for his birthday. He's been trying to get there all month like that's all he's been talking about all month. He's like this is where I want to go to eat for my birthday and I'm like okay.
Speaker 2:So we went there and let me tell you it is it's fire.
Speaker 1:Okay, it's fire, but you have to like, mind you. We haven't been eating like barbecue, like that, you know, the macaroni and cheese, the yams, the, the barbecue sauce, like all the fix fixings. We haven't been eating like that, right. So of course it's his birthday. We didn't have breakfast.
Speaker 2:Gloves are off.
Speaker 1:We conserved our calories. We were like we are going in. We went in and regretted it the next morning.
Speaker 2:I mean, I didn't regret it.
Speaker 1:Okay, maybe not regret, but I I was like I wish I would have scaled back a little bit.
Speaker 2:I just figured like I told the guy today. I was like I said yeah, I gained about. I gained about four pounds on my birthday. I'm gonna get it back yeah, I mean.
Speaker 1:But here's the thing too a lot of it is salt water, like, and like coach said, you just need to drink some water, go sit in the sauna. You know what I mean? Uh, I took my water peel, so I was like I know we're gonna get, I know we're gonna get it back. You know what I'm saying. So, but I think it's just, I think it's the mind thing, like when I stepped on the scale and I was like, oh, I will say this, I will say this we also saw sinners this week oh gosh, yes, we saw sinners.
Speaker 2:Yes, and I get in the movie a solid seven okay, hold on, though.
Speaker 1:Hold on, hold on. Somebody brought something to my attention okay, go ahead which I totally did. It didn't even okay.
Speaker 2:So listen for those of you who haven't seen it, it's a spoiler in the case you haven't seen it, I don't I don't know, maybe you can pause or whatever.
Speaker 1:We do not, but it has been out long enough and obviously a lot of people have seen it, because it's the number one movie in america right now. Um so did it dawn on you that um stack and the girlfriend were still in the barn when he had the? Shootout with the kkk so it wasn't just about the shootout and them coming back, because remember when they went he was protecting them because the barn doors were locked. He protected his brother's whole life exactly, and so I was like wait a minute.
Speaker 2:That just kind of like went completely over my head and I was watching somebody like do like in the little analysis about it that that clicked in my head when we got to the end scene, when they walked in the bar, and I was like, oh so they must have been in the barn oh, that they didn they didn't leave the barn Because we never saw them leave the barn.
Speaker 1:And that's when it dawned on me too.
Speaker 1:I was like we never saw them leave the barn. And then everybody else was like, well, how did they survive? But then the guy was saying that's why when the KKK got there and they tried to open the barn doors, it was locked. The barn doors were locked from the inside Because, remember, everybody had already locked and they were like it's because it not only was he just gonna, you know, go out with a bang by killing them, he was also still protecting his brother, because he also told his brother he made a promise yeah and I was like oh, my god, I'm not gonna spoil much in the movie, like my wife did um I would just say that shots out to michael b jordan oh my gosh that man right now.
Speaker 2:Oh my, he acted his ass off I I was Like I told my buddy McFly shout out McFly. I said I thought it was two different people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he did amazing, amazing.
Speaker 2:I said they had me for a day. Really had me thinking Like when he lit the cigarette and he was like no, it was everything. No, it was like the dramatic, like shift in personalities between the brothers that he was playing. What's the guy that played.
Speaker 1:Cornbread. I don't know his name in real life.
Speaker 2:I don't know his name in real life.
Speaker 1:But he was talking about the film because he had sat down and saw the film. He had sat down and saw the film and he was like I can't tell you how many films I actually sat down of films where I was in it, but he was giving a little backstory to the audience on the amount of work that Michael B Jordan had put into these characters. He was like you have to understand, like he had to film like two different people, you know, and he was like there were scenes where he would have to film so many hours as Smoke right, and then he would wear this like 360 helmet that had all these cameras to it, because they don't do it like they did in the olden days where they just split the screens and put them together so that they could be talking to themselves like they're twins. Um, so that's what made it more interactive and more realistic, like when he lit the cigarette, when he gave him the cigarette. That's why it looks like he's literally like talking to himself shout out shout out to michael jordan.
Speaker 2:Shout out to uh, oh my gosh, dynamic duo right now dynamic and that's all the glazing I'm gonna do that dynamic duo.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if you guys haven't seen the movie I do I do definitely recommend to go see the movie. It is one of like it's very well researched, it's very well executed, the acting is top notch, like top notch.
Speaker 2:You you know black excellence, but yeah that's what I'm saying Now that we don't promote it, we don't get paid for it. Let's get into it.
Speaker 1:It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, you push it forward for the culture. You know what I'm saying? Like it's amazing. I'm for the culture. Are you for the culture? Okay, come on now.
Speaker 2:Oh, could that be considered?
Speaker 1:a pet peeve being off the culture. Yeah sure, bye babe. Yes, baby. What are some of your biggest pet peeves?
Speaker 2:I have a lot a lot okay all right, is it?
Speaker 1:gonna be one of those things where I say, babe, what are your biggest pet peeves? And you say I have a lot, and then I ask you to give me five, but you can only give me two. That's a pet peeve of mine. Oh, let me. Let me start. That's a pet peeve, boom, listen. A pet peeve of mine is when does it jam your clock?
Speaker 1:it jams my glock. I can't. I don't even know his name. I gotta figure out what his name is so I can shout him out because he's hilarious. Are your lips flabby? Um my, my flabber is gassed it. Okay, my flabber is gassed it. A pet peeve of mine is when people be like how, how you just said, oh, I have a ton, yeah, I do, okay, so give me 10, and then you can't, and then you can't. But here's the thing.
Speaker 2:I know it's like metaphorically speaking, but I don't like that metaphor, but here's the thing about that. A lot of times it's like you don't really remember them all, but when they, when they happen, you were like okay oh yeah, like in the moment.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, so give me three right now that comes to your mind, okay, okay. Give me three of your biggest pet peeves when it comes to me I don't like the way you fold my shirts.
Speaker 2:Why they? It's just like I fold them flat, but it's not consistent.
Speaker 1:They're not the same size it's not they are okay, okay, all right, what else?
Speaker 2:I don't like the fact that you never give me a spoon when you make me dinner okay, I you know, I don't know what that's about you never know, give me. I don't know what that's about. You never give me silverware.
Speaker 1:I did it to your daughter too, Cause she came home and she was like my lunch had no fork in it.
Speaker 2:I was like girl.
Speaker 1:I'm known for it and that's a mommy special.
Speaker 1:I'm known for. And what's crazy is is I have actually bought you guys like lunch, like lunch pail, uh, silverware too, because I kept saying like, oh, I can't keep forgetting to put these, these people's stuff, and they lunch. And I literally have the ones where it's the box, where it has the spoon, the fork, the knife, and I'm just and I bought those so that I could just reach into the drawer, grab them and throw them in their lunches and they still be in the drawer at the end of the day.
Speaker 2:I mean, I don't know a lot of pet peeves from you, okay, come on, hit me with it the fact that you don't Sounds like complaining, but not pet peeves the fact that you never tell me you need gas until you need need gas.
Speaker 1:Oh well, that's because I don't feel the need to tell you I need gas. And that's the problem, because every time I go to get in the car, car because there's gas in there. So I'm not sure why I need to tell you, because it seems like you've been doing a really good job I have to check it every morning. I know, I guess I know but you don't have to tell me. You don't have to tell me you want to eat every day. So it's kind of like this, that's not the same thing.
Speaker 2:Listen, that is not the same thing.
Speaker 1:The way my brain is working right now. It's the same thing. Right now. Let me tell you why it's the same thing. You have been putting gas in my car since since I could drive, especially since we've been living together, so it's something you have always done. Like I rarely put gas in my car, and the times that I do, no, I'm not, no, I'm not. And the times that I do put gas in my car, like I would like, seriously dude, you got me out here all vulnerable at a gas station.
Speaker 2:You be pumping gas at two in the afternoon, ain't nobody from the?
Speaker 1:It's crazy. Just those are wrenching my whole day. But yeah, I just I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:Do you want me to tell you when I need gas? I'm about to have you start pumping my gas. You don't want to bench, you don't want to deadlift 315.
Speaker 1:Okay, so what does that have to do with me pumping your gas? Okay, what else give?
Speaker 2:me a little. That was three, give me one more.
Speaker 1:No, so you give me three of yours, okay, it doesn't matter. One of my pet peeves is oh lord, here we go. One of my pet peeves is, you know, like when people finish ice cream, they're like the last to finish ice cream, right, and I don't know. I don't know if you guys rinse out the ice cream bucket when it's done and then throw it in the trash. But one of my pepys is he'll rinse the bucket. Well, actually he won't rinse it, he'll just fill it up and then he leaves the carton, the empty carton full of water, in the sink Because it's not clear yet it's not ready to be dumped out.
Speaker 2:What does that?
Speaker 1:mean it's not clear yet. It has ice cream in it. It's going to melt as soon as you run hot water into the tub.
Speaker 2:We don't question the traditions, we just keep them going.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's not a tradition.
Speaker 2:It is. The only tradition is to rinse it out. In a black house, you pour water.
Speaker 1:The only tradition is to rinse it out and then throw it in the trash, Not rinse it out and leave the lid. Stick the lid in there sideways and then leave it in the sink.
Speaker 2:That's not tradition. That's how we do it in the black house.
Speaker 1:That's not tradition.
Speaker 2:And then the next morning you dump it and throw it in the trash.
Speaker 1:That's not it.
Speaker 2:It is.
Speaker 1:That is not it. Give me two more the one that just came to mind, because and this is only because I had to rearrange it the other day you have asked and I have shown how to load the dishwasher. I have explained to you which dishes are top rack dishes and which dishes are low rack. Now I know you listen, here I go to open that dishwasher one day and I said you can't be serious.
Speaker 1:I literally, I literally, correctly because you've been doing it wrong listen here, even if you don't know how to properly load a dishwasher or load it. Even if you don't know how to properly load a dishwasher and I guess that's up for objective on how to load a dishwasher.
Speaker 2:It's not because I'm right.
Speaker 1:You're wrong the way you threw them dishes OK In that dishwasher and then expected them all to get clean. It's crazy work.
Speaker 2:Next one, next one. It's really crazy work. Next one.
Speaker 1:It's really crazy work.
Speaker 1:Another one would have to be now. This was prior to me ordering the dispenser, but prior to ordering a toothpaste dispenser, this was one of my reasons for ordering a toothpaste dispenser was when people, when people lead people and by people I mean my spouse, whom I have to share yeah, I don't share sinks with him, we have a double sink, but the sink space yeah, that's why he's laughing. That's why he's laughing.
Speaker 1:So when you leave the lid the top off a toothpaste, the air gets to it and then it gets like hard and it gets. It gets crusty or it gets like super sticky. And then when you go to try to squeeze it the next day, after all of the residual that's been on top because you left the lid off has hardened. Now it's like this tiny little hole that the new toothpaste has to get through and then you waste so much toothpaste. That used to drive me bananas, which is why I ordered a toothpaste dispenser. It's much more convenient now. They have the ones you can put on the wall. I just refill the toothpaste and you can just stick your toothbrush in there and it gives you the perfect amount of toothpaste every time and you get all the toothpaste out of the tube.
Speaker 1:All of it.
Speaker 2:This is this is the once a month special where my wife takes the time on the platform.
Speaker 1:Now he thinks I'm bashing him, but you just sat here and told these people that you don't like the way I fold your shirts. I don't. And I've been folding your shirts for how long? And you don't let. But this is the first time you've decided to say that you don't like the way I fold my shirts. Alright, or your shirts.
Speaker 2:But you can tell me it's fine.
Speaker 1:It's fine, okay, okay. So let's see what is your biggest pet peeve About my wardrobe. I already know how this is gonna go. That's why I asked that one.
Speaker 2:I got more than one. Which one you, how many you want?
Speaker 1:however many you ready to dish out.
Speaker 2:I hate when we leave and you know damn well you need a bra on. You don't put one on.
Speaker 1:I do have a bra on. It's just be a sports bra okay and because my bras don't fit the way they used to. Titties be low? Yeah they be, and that's inappropriate. Okay, that's fair. I told you that's fair and you put you don't care, you did it yesterday, I do care. Also yesterday we were like in a rush rushing out of the house, so I just like.
Speaker 2:Excuses.
Speaker 1:Excuses, I don't know what you want me to say. Okay, okay, no, tell me.
Speaker 2:No, so what's? What's my biggest wardrobe pet peeve of yours?
Speaker 1:Your biggest wardrobe pet peeve, yeah, is how you pull your shirts straight, why, like, when you put, when he gets dressed, he puts his pants on, he pulls his shirt on and then it's not like a you know. Like sometimes you put a t-shirt on, you kind of fluff it a little bit so it can kind of hang a little, hang us like a certain way like a little swag. You don't hang like with swag. You put the shirt on your shirt, you're not seven, don't pull your shirt on, don't pull your shirt like that.
Speaker 2:But you always do it I'm not seven, okay, all right what?
Speaker 1:why are you getting offended?
Speaker 2:because I'm not getting offended with you telling me you're pep heaves. I'm not getting offended with you telling me you're pep heaves. I'm not getting offended, I'm listening.
Speaker 1:And you're totally judging.
Speaker 2:Yes, I am, I'm listening and I am just preparing to take whatever you bring.
Speaker 1:Whatever Okay. What noise instantly puts you on edge. What noise? Noise Like for me, or a noise that I make, that instantly puts you on edge. I thought you meant like in general, oh no, okay you can tell me, for me and in general In general, the alarm clock?
Speaker 2:Because why are you going off when I'm not ready?
Speaker 1:Because it goes off the same time every single day. But I'm not ready, but you should be, because it goes off at the same time every day.
Speaker 2:Um, a noise that you make is when you pop your damn lips.
Speaker 1:What. It really irritates me what do I do?
Speaker 2:Don't do this, I'm like why there is no need for that ever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is Like when I'm trying to describe something, or when I eat something especially and it's good.
Speaker 2:I'm like you don't have to do that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, you do.
Speaker 2:It makes you want to, I cringe up and I want to hit you every time you do it Like stop.
Speaker 1:It's not that bad. It's not that bad.
Speaker 2:What about for me? What sound?
Speaker 1:Oh, it's not necessarily a sound, it's just something you say and you always be like cause, yeah, like, yeah, just randomly, you'll be trying to tell me something. You'll say something the guy told you at the gym today and you'll be like yeah, cause, yeah, and me and this guy were talking and he was trying to tell me the same thing I was saying about the pull up. Cause, yeah, like, and that's what I was trying to tell him too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because, okay, so so you don't like my mannerisms if I'm here, see, see, this is, I'll tell you. This is the weekly, this is the monthly episode where she come out and she feel comfortable telling me in private. So she told me that's true recording so she know if you're listening you're in the same space, it's fine.
Speaker 1:No one's gonna save you. No one's gonna save you. Um. What's a bathroom habit that you secretly have?
Speaker 2:that I have. Uh-huh, I I like to take a dumps naked and it drives me nuts sometimes.
Speaker 1:He literally that's why?
Speaker 2:that's literally that's why he has to poop at home.
Speaker 1:That's why I prefer to poop at home. Because he literally has to get completely naked Socks and all Socks, shoes everything.
Speaker 2:He acts like he can't cope if he's not naked and when he's pooping, because mentally I have to be prepared, because sometimes you know this is TMI, but I'm going to say it. Sometimes the poop it'd be like a good poop but it'd be like a little messy, so sometimes I like to get right in the shower.
Speaker 1:Why? Because you get splashed back yeah.
Speaker 2:Right in the shower. I got to get like right, I'm ready.
Speaker 1:I'm ready. Oh gosh, what about you Bathroom habit that I secretly have? I don't really have any secret bathroom habits. I mean, I scroll probably too long.
Speaker 2:Everyone scrolls too long.
Speaker 1:While I'm sitting there, and then my toes start to go numb, and that's when I realized, like hey, no, you've been sitting here too long.
Speaker 2:This is your bad bathroom habit.
Speaker 1:What's my bad bathroom habit?
Speaker 2:you, you know that. You, you know that once you cut the shower on, your brain's going to be the pee. So you go into the bathroom with your phone, you cut the shower on and then I proceed to use the bathroom.
Speaker 1:Then you sit there and waste hot water. You literally just let the water run while you listen, I, I could pee in the shower, you know what? Now I'm wondering, because that was a debate a while ago too People peeing in the shower. You wouldn't waste the water if you did that.
Speaker 2:Do you pee in the?
Speaker 1:shower all the time, every time, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:Every single time. Sometimes I cut the water on and I pee in the shower from outside the shower.
Speaker 1:Maurice, don't ever. Seriously, that's ridiculous. The toilet is literally next to the shower, yeah, but sometimes the toilet be down.
Speaker 2:I can't.
Speaker 1:What do you?
Speaker 2:mean the toilet is down. Sometimes I can't flip it up quick enough. I mean it's here, Boom.
Speaker 1:That's absolutely ridiculous.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:That's what makes the floor like slippery and stuff. If you don't clean it, then you just lying.
Speaker 2:You're just coming up with shit you're just going up with shit.
Speaker 1:No, because, because it's like the same thing with the suds. You know how like I make you make sure you rinse out the suds. It's the same thing.
Speaker 2:I'm going to ask you some questions now.
Speaker 1:Okay, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:What eating habit drives you up the wall?
Speaker 1:With you.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:You eating? What the fuck you eating? What about it? You eating the way I eat, just the way you eat in general, because and then you have the nerves to try to hold a conversation and chew like a wild donkey.
Speaker 2:Okay. While you're doing it, because he'll be like, he'll be like. Okay, that's enough.
Speaker 1:That's enough. That's enough, that's enough.
Speaker 2:That's enough. My answer to that question is the one from previous ago. When you do that damn pop with your mouth Because it ain't necessary, baby, was it good?
Speaker 1:it's not necessary. It's so necessary. It's how you get the rest of the flavor from the roof of your mouth.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, it's very necessary um what public behavior embarrasses you?
Speaker 1:what public behavior embarrasses me. Let me. Let me tell you guys what public behavior embarrasses you. What public behavior embarrasses me. Let me tell you guys what public behavior embarrassed me recently. Okay, some women might find it endearing. I didn't find it endearing. Do I love when my husband is flirty at the gym? Love it. Do I not mind if he hits me on the ass, gives me a kiss, or like be touchy-feely, don't mind it at all, love it. Gives me a kiss or like be touchy-feely, don't mind it at all, love it. What I do have to draw the line at is you taking your hand and rubbing it between my legs to sniff, and then putting your hands and fingers under your nose, and then look at me and walk away when the person next to me who's also doing his bench press is left to wonder what the hell just happened. I had to get.
Speaker 2:I didn't have any smelling salts that day he knows that you are with me.
Speaker 1:Everyone in the gym knows we are together. There is no reason why you need to rub your hand in my crotch and smell it. Okay, I'm sitting there on the bench. He's supposed to be spotting me. I'm holding the dumbbells. He helps me to get one dumbbell on my knee and stands right in front of me, proceeds to take his right hand, swipes it between my sweaty thighs and then sniffs his fingers and then proceeds to try to spot me. The guy next to me was like what the hell?
Speaker 2:just happened. That just happened. It was magnificent. Call it what you want to call it. I was like, call it what you want to call it. Look here I am a taurus. We are earthly people, okay, okay, I love the scent of my wife, I mean here's the thing I did at all times he does I'll do it right now, no, you're not gonna do it right now.
Speaker 1:He's always been that way and I think it's just, it's crazy, because it's like 23 years and then there's still things. I'm just like dude, I'm not comfortable with that, like I've been sweating all day and he's like okay, and I'm like no, okay, it's not a thing, but I'm not a man, so I don't know.
Speaker 2:Oh, what public OK? Do you have any public behavior that embarrasses me? Hmm, I don't think you do?
Speaker 1:Are you trying to say I know how to behave in public setting?
Speaker 2:No, you just. Yeah, I mean you're very, it's boring.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're boring Very, rinella, because because I'm not going around putting my hand in your ass crack and sniffing it in front of people.
Speaker 2:I mean, if you want to, I wouldn't.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't advise it, it's so gross.
Speaker 2:What's something that I always forget to do? That's a pet peeve of yours.
Speaker 1:Go ahead, so obviously I don't take out trash in my house Okay. But I've always asked him like, take the trash out in the morning, it'll be easier, even if it's not completely full, just take it out in the morning.
Speaker 2:No, I'm not wasting it.
Speaker 1:But my pet peeve is when you see trash poking out of the trash can Push it down and you proceed to take more trash and put it on top and just push it down and then not empty the trash. Push it down and you proceed to take more trash and put it on top and just push it down.
Speaker 1:Push it down and then not empty the trash, because it's not full yet it is full Because you're going to leave and I still have a whole day at home to get through throwing trash and shit away. All right, okay, that's a pet peeve. Take out the garbage when you see it before it pokes out the garbage can. That's it, it's really quite simple. Okay, are you giving me another one?
Speaker 2:Let's do a couple more.
Speaker 1:You want me to answer that one. Yeah, go ahead my biggest pet peeve is when you forget to make my lunch, when I forget to make your lunch.
Speaker 2:What do you mean? And then you come down here and you try to throw something together real quick.
Speaker 1:Oh, you mean like if I didn't do it the night before, and then you come down here and try to throw something together and I get some hogwash-ass food. First of all, how is it hogwash? You eat everything that's in the house.
Speaker 2:It don't be seasoned.
Speaker 1:It just don't be prepared like I normally do it so when it's not prepared, like I normally make his lunch, then he's like oh you half-assed my lunch today.
Speaker 2:That.
Speaker 1:But I didn't send you out into the world hungry.
Speaker 2:That, and when you make my eggs, knowing that by the time I get to them they're going to be cold, because I hate to eat old eggs, but I don't do that.
Speaker 1:I don't do that unless you ask me. Go ahead, like when you tell me no no no, back up, back up, because you're not going to play my life.
Speaker 1:You're not going to play my life Like when you say, babe, oh, can you scramble me some eggs or have them ready for when I get home from the gym and I'm already still in bed and you're not even home yet. So then if I get up to try to make them so that they're ready when you get here, but then you drag your feet when you get here, how am I supposed to know what time?
Speaker 2:you're going to get here, so I wait till you get here and I try to make up.
Speaker 1:Okay, go ahead and go ahead and ask a couple Um, let's see what's a what's a couple habit that you see in others that you don't like, Um couples. Couples have shared Facebook page, I think that's. I mean we technically share a Facebook page but, it's for the podcast. That's not the same. Okay, not the same, but yeah, like I know what you mean. Or like couples who like share an email, they share an email address they share a Facebook page.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that's. I do think that's kind of like every time I say that I'm like who cheated, who cheated that's exactly who cheated which one of you did it Right and whose idea was it to make them comfortable?
Speaker 2:It's so cute that y'all working on your own marriage it's so cute, it's so cute, it's so cute.
Speaker 1:But we already know where this is derived from.
Speaker 2:So what about you?
Speaker 1:I think my biggest pet peeve that some couples do that just drives me nuts, that I don't like is when they um like speak ill of each other in front of like people. Oh, that's good stuff like I can't stand that. I mean, we don't do that. I know, but when someone does, it around us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't like that at all.
Speaker 1:The tea I don't, I know I don't like that, like I don't want you talking, talking about how your, your man ain't shit when it's like he right there when he's right there, and then you're also in front of other people.
Speaker 2:Like what the hell? But then you're going to go home with him.
Speaker 1:And then you got to ride home with him.
Speaker 2:And be.
Speaker 1:But then he over there doing the same thing, talking about how you ain't shit either. Yeah, y'all is crazy, crazy work.
Speaker 2:Crazy work.
Speaker 1:That's crazy work. Okay, let's see One more. All right, it's your show. I'm just as well trying to do that let's see what's one work-related habit that spills into your home life.
Speaker 2:I don't think I have any work-related habits that spill into my life, because I keep work at work. You bought all my hand when you were working. You never clocked out so you would work at home.
Speaker 1:I worked at home like one time.
Speaker 2:You were working. You never clocked out, so you would work at home. I worked at home like one time. You worked at home every day. No, I did not. Okay, see, she won't. This is why they're pet, because she won't even acknowledge the fact that we have a problem okay, just one more.
Speaker 1:This is the last one.
Speaker 2:What's our biggest communication pet peeve is when the other person don't hear the other person correctly, because I'll be saying stuff. You didn't say that. If I can't hear your idea, no worries, you say it there.
Speaker 1:It's not how I heard it. It's not how I heard it. I don't know if that's a pet peeve or just a matter of differences.
Speaker 2:No, it's a pet peeve for me, because I know.
Speaker 1:See, but the fact that you think you know Is already the problem.
Speaker 2:When you were saying that that I think I know your first mistake was thinking Okay, you know what. This has been another episode.
Speaker 1:See, I was so good Because my phone did ring. See how good I am.
Speaker 2:Sometimes you're right. Sometimes you're right, so good.
Speaker 1:Alright, guys, let's hop right on into good. I am Sometimes you're right. Sometimes you're right, so good, all right guys, let's hop right on into our two cents, which seems to be like the most popular segment. You guys love our two cents.
Speaker 2:Look here we're going to keep doing them.
Speaker 1:Okay, guys, here we go.
Speaker 2:Because, lord knows, I'm always going to have an opinion about something. Listen, hold on. Let me say something real quick. I don't always take the man's side.
Speaker 1:Okay, oh, because that's what you've been getting backlash on.
Speaker 2:I was literally trying to point out his point of view. I never said he was wrong and I literally said that in that reaction.
Speaker 1:They don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 2:About the business trip. I literally said in that reaction that she's not an asshole for feeling the way she feels. I was just literally saying his mentality behind his choices.
Speaker 1:That's it and they were wrong. If the man is wrong and I'm like you're wrong, I'm going to say you're wrong.
Speaker 1:He should have said it for his wife to go on the business trip. Get that back, alright? Am I the asshole for not agreeing to my boyfriend's open relationship rules? Oh okay, hold on, let's hear him okay. I'm a 25 year old female.
Speaker 1:Very early on in our relationship with my boyfriend, who's 25, he told me that he had to be in an open relationship. I hadn't been in one before, but I said that I'd give it a try, and it was clear when we talked about it that either of us could sleep with whomever we wanted. So I said okay. We've been dating for 11 months and over time I really started to love him. I know he has quite a few very casual partners, but nothing serious in a relationship. I actually didn't have any other partners, though, because I was happy just being with him. Then, two months ago, I was drunk and met a guy at a party and we slept together. I didn't think I was doing anything wrong whatsoever. So when it came up with my boyfriend, I didn't try to hide it, but he was really upset. He said it was disrespectful for me to do that. I was kind of shocked.
Speaker 1:I'm fine with not sleeping with other people, but the problem is now. He's really paranoid and controlling ever since then and have been accusing me of looking at other guys or flirting with them all the time, constantly checking my phone, wanting me to check in every hour when I'm out and asking to track my location, etc. It's really starting to bother me. So basically, he wants to have an open relationship, but only on his side. He says that he loves me and that I should be loyal only to him, but when I bring up how the rules don't apply to him, he gets angry. He says that so many men feel stuck in boring relationships and he's not going to be one of those men and that I shouldn't try to control him either. I get it, but it doesn't feel right. I love him a lot, but I'm seriously thinking about breaking up with him. Am I the asshole?
Speaker 2:No, stop wasting your goddamn time, girl, look here.
Speaker 1:He trying to back you into a corner, trap you and do everything else. Cut it out. Uh-uh, that's manipulation.
Speaker 2:He's trying to have his cake and eat it too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think, isn't it, kate, and Edith too?
Speaker 2:Like it, like it, you're not an asshole here. I would leave because obviously an open relationship means that you are both open to freely have casual interactions outside of each other, as long as you guys are up in front about these interactions. Now what it sounds like what happened was everything was cool as long as he was the only person dipping. So once you dip, he didn't like all the dip on your chip, and now he got a problem with it. So I say either leave them or keep dipping your chip.
Speaker 1:Keep dipping it. He wanted to open a relationship. Yeah, and I think here's the thing If an open relationship was what you want, by all means, if both parties can agree to it, by all means do you boo boo. But to have an open relationship and it just be one sided, that's not an open relationship.
Speaker 1:That's one person being in a relationship and the other person saying I can just do what I want to do, but I also want you at home. That's, that's not a thing. Like that's not a thing. You can go and do what you want to do, but I'm not going to just sit at home and, like you, talk about, uh, boredom being a thing, that men get stuck in a relationship. Do you not think women get bored? And I think that here's the thing. Let's talk about that.
Speaker 1:I think it's really crazy work about it I think it's really crazy work that some men, when they have complaints about relationships, like, oh, like I'm not getting it enough, or like she ain't this, she ain't that. Do you really think that women don't have the same complaints? I think that's crazy work to people. I think that's really crazy crazy work women get bored.
Speaker 1:Women are, I would, I would bet money that women far, their unsatisfaction far outweighs a man's unsatisfaction when it comes to if we're, if we're speaking strictly physical, guarantee it, okay, guarantee it okay, oh no I'm, I'm good, I get what I need, and then, when I don't get what I need, I you let him know I'm very vocal, let you know I'll be like, hey, so so about 10 minutes ago, right, so you know, like there's always tomorrow or 20 minutes later, you know. But no, that's, that's crazy. You're not an asshole. I say break up with him. I never, I never tell people, people what to do with their relationship but.
Speaker 1:I say it's a done deal, because that sounds like manipulation to me. Keep dipping your chip. Yeah, that sounds like manipulation to me. I can't do it. Nope, can't do it. Let's see. Okay, here we go. Oh, nope, not here we go. Hold on, give me a second. See people, give me a second, guys.
Speaker 2:I'll be having all this laid out for her.
Speaker 1:Really Okay. Am I the asshole for refusing to give my boyfriend children because he won't marry me? My boyfriend, who's 33, and me, who's 31, have been dating for seven years. Early on we talked about marriage, kids, a house, the whole shebang, the like. I like kids and I think that I'd be a great mother and I'd like to have children. But I wouldn't be upset if I didn't have any. I'm happy with my life as it is and I could be just as happy with or without children. My boyfriend has always dreamed about being a dad and recently suggested that we are in such a good place that we should start trying for kids.
Speaker 1:I was a little confused by this. I told him early on, within the first year, that I would never have children with a man who was not ready to marry me. I feel like children are a much bigger commitment than marriage, so marriage should come first. Additionally, if a man doesn't love me and isn't committed enough to spending the rest of his life with me, I don't see why I would make the choice and sacrifice of bearing his children. That's fair. Maybe it's old-fashioned of me. Whatever, I explained all of this to him once again.
Speaker 1:He was awkward and said that he just doesn't want to get married. He said that men always get screwed over in divorces all the time and that he doesn't think marriage is important enough or a smart enough choice. I said that's fine, we don't have to get married. I'm happy with our life as it is. We just won't be buying a house together or having children together. We can each buy our own home and live in one and rent out the other If we aren't getting married. I do not want to really entangle our finances in any way, shape or form. He was awkward and said that oh no, sorry, it was smart choice. Okay, sorry, guys, let me go back, let me go. Let me, let me go back, let me go. Let me, let me go back, okay. So he blew up at me and said that I was punishing him for not wanting to marry him. I said that I'm not and that just having children outside of marriage goes outside of my personal values. I also told him that, since he's super against the idea of marriage, that I'm not going to marry him just for a shut up ring that he only gives me because he wants kids. I want him to actually want to marry me and if not, that's okay. Children and marriage are off the table for us completely. If he wants kids now, he needs to leave me and find someone who will have his kids without giving them stability and commitment. And maybe I could find somebody who wants to marry me, maybe have kids or not. And I said all of this to him.
Speaker 1:He's been very distressed and emotionally distraught. He has, he has a disease that's a very limited to his life expectancy. He said that if he doesn't have kids ASAP, that he probably wouldn't have them at all, but otherwise he wouldn't be able to see them into adulthood. So am I the asshole? Absolutely not. I don't think so. Your body, otherwise he wouldn't be able to see them into adulthood. So am I the asshole? Absolutely not. I don't think so. Your body, your choice. I don't think so. No, because here's the thing if you're, if you're on the time crunch to have kids, he's, he has a disease that's really affecting his life expectancy, right. So he wants to have kids now because he wants to have a chance to be able to see them into adulthood. Why are you worried? Why are you worried about divorce If you're not going to be here? What are you worried about divorce for If you're not going to be here.
Speaker 2:What are you worried about?
Speaker 1:divorce for? Yeah, but why is that over-trumping the love and the benefits that you would get from marriage, like okay, so let's say you have children. What if your children grow up to not like you? Yeah, that's a risk too, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he probably shouldn't have kids because don't pass that disease down.
Speaker 1:Oh, because you don't know if it's like a yeah, yeah I mean, but I get it. Side note, because you just made me think of something. I was watching Dr Pimple Popper and it was a lady who suffered from a skin condition her and her brother where they have like like massive bumps completely covered 100 percent of their body and it was hereditary, so it's passed down Right. And their mother.
Speaker 1:The lady, was in her 60s and she said she never got married and she never had kids. And the one she said the only reason why she did it is because she did not want to pass it off to her children. But like now she is seeing, like her friends with their grandkids and stuff like that, and she just feels, you know, so empty that that's a part of her life that she literally cut off because she didn't want to pass down what she had to her kids. And I was just like that's, that's, I get it, I get it, I totally get it, but that's also really sad. Love, I get it, I totally get it, but that's also really sad. Love them dogs, because you just like sacrificed.
Speaker 1:Love them dogs, yeah, but anyway, going back to her, I wouldn't be. I don't think you're an asshole. No, I wouldn't feel bad. You're not an asshole. Having children I've always said that. I've said that to you multiple times. People who want to have children but then they don't want to get married I think that's crazy work. Like, how are you going to say marriage is a bigger commitment than having children?
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm if we got married and didn't have kids, even if we did get divorced, it's easier for us to part ways. You know what I mean. We can sell property.
Speaker 2:My thing is if divorce is what you're scared of, just prenup.
Speaker 1:That's what I'm saying. I would ask what about divorce frightens you? Yeah, you just think you're going to get the short end of the stick.
Speaker 2:Without a prenup.
Speaker 1:yes, that what you just think you're gonna get the short end of the stick well and without a prenup.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's just, that's not facts.
Speaker 1:But okay, that's facts, like okay. But if that's the case, then why get seven years in when you've already known and I've already?
Speaker 2:told you my.
Speaker 1:Thing that that is a that's a prerequisite for me and that's not going to change because that's my fundamental values as a person, and so that's where I'm at like.
Speaker 2:You've been with her seven years, so do you just believe in your mind that she's playing the long game, the F you over.
Speaker 1:No, the thing is is he was playing the long game.
Speaker 2:He thought that he would just wait her out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, just like people, just like people women who try to convince men that eventually they're going to want kids, like men who don't want kids. And it's like oh no, I'm pretty sure I can bring him around. And then here you is, eight years later, and he's still telling you like baby. I was very serious eight years ago when we started this, when I told you I did not want kids, and the same is still true today.
Speaker 2:Ma'am.
Speaker 1:So you're wasting your own time? I don't understand.
Speaker 2:Ma'am miss, you're not the asshole.
Speaker 1:Girl, please no. And then the fact that she said that she was still cool with where they are. She was like that's fine, like she didn't even say I was going to break up with him. She said that's fine Cause I also love the life that we have now. But just know, if we ain't getting married, you won't get kids from me. You can get them from somewhere else.
Speaker 2:I like. I like what she said, Like since, since I'm not good enough to marry, we will just we, why would I have your children? We'll go ahead and keep everything separate Right Money, everything.
Speaker 1:Right, I'm not good. I'm too much of a danger to marry, but not enough of a danger to bury your children. Like she said, I'm not going to sacrifice burying your children. You can't even take a chance on being totally committed to me.
Speaker 2:I want the people to know that I'm on the lady's side on this one. Oh yeah, okay, but this is I'm on the lady's side on this one.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, okay, you got to be distinct.
Speaker 2:Let them know so they don't eat you up in the comments. Yeah, I'm on the lady's side. I mean, keep your morals.
Speaker 1:Don't change, don't change your morals for anyone. When you start changing your morals and values for people, and especially if it's not to elevate dangerous waters.
Speaker 2:I mean he halfway there I'm pretty sure I'm having sex, so he just ain't shooting it up. So I mean he can Well she's really going to be.
Speaker 1:I mean, he can half the basket and be happy. Bye, Maurice, half the basket. Anywho, this has been another episode. I thought we had another one. What I thought we had one. You want to do three.
Speaker 2:You're getting greedy now.
Speaker 1:I sent you another one. You getting greedy now. What's the one I sent you? Let me see.
Speaker 2:Was it that one? No, the one I sent you.
Speaker 1:Oh, let me see, because you know my husband be messy guys.
Speaker 2:Okay, this is one from Mr Gil.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let's go. Am I the asshole for not being intimate with my husband after he said he misses my pre-pregnancy body? I gave birth around two months ago. I'm up a bit more than 10 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight. I'm in constant pain, barely getting any sleep, still recovering. I've been easing back into the gym.
Speaker 1:This past week. My husband and I were showering after being intimate and while feeling me, he said he misses my body and he said he misses what I used to look like, because I used to look so sexy in clothes and lingerie before I went quiet, finished my shower and then went to check on the baby. I brought it up later that he had hurt my feelings and that I was feeling self-conscious and that I was trying. He just shrugged and said it's true, I cried in my car after my workout. He doesn't even work out and he eats like garbage. I've been feeling really down about my body since his comment and I've pulled back from intimacy for the past few days. He says that I'm weaponizing sex, but I'm just struggling with how I feel about myself right now. Am I the asshole?
Speaker 2:No, you tell your husband, tell that fat fuck Bye.
Speaker 1:She didn't say he was fat. She just said that he don't work out and he eats like garbage. But there's plenty of men who don't work out and eat like garbage and they're not fat.
Speaker 2:Look here. I think it's diabolical that he said that to her.
Speaker 1:While they were naked in the shower. And she's only two months postpartum. Right, that part is crazy.
Speaker 2:Like she literally just carried a whole child, Like but you know what I've come?
Speaker 1:to realize, babe.
Speaker 2:This is what.
Speaker 1:I've come to realize that in our society I don't know if it's like Western society whatever the value of the value and the sacrifice, the labor of women birthing children, the complexities of that, the, the, the value of it, doesn't hold weight in like in our, like in our culture, like our culture, the our it's like that's what you, that's what, that's what you're born yeah, it's just like.
Speaker 1:Like, when you look at certain cultures, it's like they focus on the healing of the mother. They focus on, like, the time that mom and baby have together to bond. They understand that a woman's body goes through a lot. They understand that it's important for mom and baby to be, you know, be taken care of. It's important for mom to heal, it's important for mom to have her time. They understand that hormones are actually real Right for moms to have her time. They understand that hormones are actually real Right. But here in our society it's like okay, like you had a baby, you ain't the first or the last woman to have a baby. Like, what's the big deal? The baby is out.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's a big deal.
Speaker 1:But that's what I'm saying. It's not, it's not. It's not looked like oh my gosh, like. This is the person I want to take care of. She just bore my child, she brought my child into the world and I know that she's going through something Like if he thought about that, he wouldn't, he wouldn't feel so comfortable to say oh my gosh. I rubbing her stomach and being like, oh I miss, I miss the way your stomach felt before you had the baby. Are you serious? Two months, eight weeks? I'm eight weeks postpartum. My hormones are not balanced. I feel like crap and I'm pretty sure the only reason why she's trying to get back into the gym is because she already know what type of husband she got anyway so does she choose wisely listen, it doesn't it?
Speaker 1:whether she chose wisely or not, it still doesn't excuse him being an asshole, and here's the thing some people be like. Oh, but he's just being honest, so he can't talk about how he feels.
Speaker 2:No, look there no.
Speaker 1:In this situation.
Speaker 2:No, it's a fine line between honesty and empathy. Like Empathy, I feel like he's lacking empathy. He's not empathetic to his wife and her feelings and what she's going through, what she experienced, and even if she didn't have a baby it is commonly known that you do not discuss a woman's body with her in any unempathetic way. You have to, and now, mind you, it's very hard to do, but you have to come up in ways to let her know that, let her know that, hey, like, this is just a concerned of mine type deal yeah but to just blatantly like.
Speaker 1:It's like, oh yeah but look, because hit her with how you feel about yourself, right but he doubled down on it later like I didn't know wrong.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he tried to say it's true damn okay, excuse me, it may be true, but I'm also letting you know like your delivery or whatever hurt my feelings, so can you, can we at least acknowledge that sometimes how it made me feel and then, okay, yes it's. I'm not going to deny the fact that it's not true. I just had a baby eight weeks ago. Obviously, I know my body is not what it was pre-pregnancy. I was pregnant for nine months. Nine months sometimes it ain't what say, it's how you say it. Three months shy of a year. Okay, you're not an elephant. Three months shy of a year. I was carrying your child, okay.
Speaker 2:You're incubating.
Speaker 1:So yeah, you're. No, you're not an asshole. Now do I want to get technical and being like because he's saying that she's weaponizing? I don't think she's weaponizing sex either. It's not that she's weaponizing.
Speaker 2:She's not feeling it.
Speaker 1:It's that she's literally not in the mood. You killed it. You cannot, you killed it.
Speaker 2:You cannot remove all the sexy from the room and then ask for sex. And then ask her to be sexy Like she's not, because now every time she's naked in front of you she's self-conscious. She's only thinking about how. You don't like what you see. And now?
Speaker 1:she's embarrassed. You did this to yourself and then, if she goes through with it and you're going to feel the difference, that she's really not even into it then you're going to. I should. What is? What is it gonna be?
Speaker 2:maybe because I've had some people tell me that I should tell you know, tell men how to talk to their wives.
Speaker 1:Maybe I should start. You should tell them how to talk to their wives because some of these dudes be out of pocket can I be in the class with you?
Speaker 1:yeah, you can, because you need a lot of talk to me yeah, no, no sir because I'll talk to you properly really I never, I, I, I'm always, but I'm not empathetic with no I'm not saying like with that, I'm just saying but you ain't perfect, like your communication ain't perfect I'm not okay, but I'm saying I'm empathetic uh, yeah I'm not perfect, but I always lead with love yeah I'm always leading with love.
Speaker 2:I don't come. I don't come to you with malice, woman though I should, sometimes Because you be out of pocket. But sometimes, instead of when you get out of pocket, sometimes, instead of coming with you with malice, I just pick you up, put you back in the pocket, okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, demille, and.
Speaker 2:I love you from afar.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:DeMille, but that's wild.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's crazy work. You removed the sexy from the room he did. You removed the sexy from the room he did. Then you asked him to be sexy. You're crazy. That's exactly what he is crazy. Now you're gonna have to wait this one out player.
Speaker 2:That's like saying, oh my god that big better hope her snap back is quick, because I don't know, let's say oh my god, that big ass bump in your back. You think she's gonna get you doggy.
Speaker 1:She's gonna be laying on her back damn that big bump on your back, come on sometimes, as men, we have to just shut up keep it to yourself you have to understand that what you say is going to directly impact the actions and what you want.
Speaker 2:So you have to talk to your spouse or your partner properly. You can't be out here just saying anything off the rail and then act like she don't have feelings.
Speaker 1:She's not a couch. The timing was not great, it was diabolical. The timing was not great because I don't want people to be talking about okay, so you can't tell your partner if they're not satisfied with you, but it has nothing to do with that. She just gave birth to a child, not impossible. Like a whole human being Like.
Speaker 2:I don't think men really understand the process of giving birth, and what if the baby's like nine pounds too? She probably really went through some shit. Okay, Because I watched you push down six pounds. I said I can do it. I said this would have been a c-section. Wait a minute.
Speaker 1:So that's sorry. That just takes me back to a video I saw today and it was um, the guys in the gym. They were putting the uh cramp simulator on them, so so they can feel what it feels like when girls are at the like working out while they're on their period. And home dude was like he said y'all do that shit every 29 days. I'm not doing it. Look here, she was like every month. And then people in the comments was like that's just the cramps, but you don't get everything else that comes with that. He was like hell, no, he was like I wouldn't come.
Speaker 2:Like if I'm feeling this way, as a man with gallbladder issues and I know how that feels when my gallbladder fills up. I don't want them problems. What cramps? I don't want them. Yeah, because with my gallbladder it's 12 to 18 hours that I'm back in the clean. Y'all gonna do a whole week of this shit.
Speaker 1:You want to come with that shit, and it's not just the cramps, like that's the thing the fatigue, the fatigue. Oh, let's not talk about the poops, oh my God.
Speaker 2:Okay, this has been another episode.
Speaker 1:I knew that one would get you.
Speaker 2:Of the Life After I Do podcast Do, do, do, do do. If you're not already, you can follow us on TikTok, youtube, instagram.
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Speaker 2:Let's get it. We have fixed the issue with Spotify. The Spotify link now works.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, we have the issue with Spotify.
Speaker 2:I'm really thankful the person who brought that to my attention. So now we, but we are on Spotify guys.
Speaker 1:Yes guys, we are on Spotify.
Speaker 2:And, yeah, you know, you get a new episode every Wednesday.
Speaker 1:And until then, Peace booskies, Peace booskies.
