Life After I Do Podcast
Marriage and relationships can be tough. You may feel like you’re the only one struggling but you’re not. Life After I do is a weekly podcast where Morice and Kynesha, a black married millennial couple, share their experiences and advice on everything from kids and family to intimacy and connection. Noting is off limits.
In their 21 years together and 7 years of marriage, Morice and Kynesha have learned a lot about what it takes to make a relationship work. They know the importance of communication, trust and commitment. They also know it’s okay to not have it all figured out.
Join them every Wednesday as they talk about their own journey of “Life After I do”.
Life After I Do Podcast
Our 2 Cents Vol. 16
Marriage is like peanut butter and jelly—different flavors, better together—and choosing the right partner might be the most important decision you'll ever make. This week on Life After I Do, Nesha G and Moelethal serve up another unfiltered Our 2 Cents episode packed with major wins, tough debates, and undeniable relationship truths.
💥 First-Ever Listener Update:
Remember the guy pressured into paying off his girlfriend’s sister’s student loans? Plot twist—he got his $35,000 back! We break down how he reclaimed his peace (and his wallet) and why recognizing manipulation early is crucial. City Boys up!
👶 Doctors, Gaslighting, and Newborn Fears:
A new mom shares her nightmare experience of being gaslit by a doctor over her newborn’s conjunctivitis diagnosis. We unpack the importance of advocating for yourself and your children in vulnerable moments.
👨👩👧 Family Boundaries Get Tested:
What happens when a sister ditches her kids for days with no word? We debate how much aunts and uncles should be expected to step in—and where emotional boundaries need to be drawn.
💼 Business Trips vs. Marriage Trust:
Would you be okay with your partner taking a work trip with a flirty CEO? Our hosts don't see eye-to-eye on this one, and it leads to one of the most heated debates yet about loyalty, trust, and ambition.
🍼 The Exhaustion of Parenthood:
When both parents are worn out, who steps up? We dig into the realities of splitting childcare duties and why teamwork isn't optional—it’s survival.
🚩 Phone Secrecy = Big Red Flag:
Sudden password changes, hiding screens, sketchy behavior? We all agree: when someone starts hiding their phone activity, something is off.
🎧 Tune in for:
➡️ Real relationship wins and lessons
➡️ Tough conversations about family obligations
➡️ Unfiltered advice on boundaries, trust, and teamwork in love and life
Like what you’re hearing? Follow us on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook @LifeAfterIDoPodcast! Got a relationship question or situation you want us to weigh in on? Email us at lifeafteridopodcast@gmail.com — we love hearing from you!
Choose wisely. You know, you're just not we're not built the same. And it's okay. Because we all have our strengths and we all have our weaknesses. That's why we go together like PB and J, you know.
Speaker 2:Who's PB and who's the J?
Speaker 1:I'm just saying, like they compliment each other.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying, like men and women compliment each other, with me, with us, yeah.
Speaker 1:I think I'm peanut butter. Yeah, because you goodbye. What are you? Hey, everybody, and welcome back to another episode of the Life After I Do podcast. I'm your host, nisha G AKA Well, actually it's Kynesha AKA Nisha G. And then you know who this guy is. To my right when he's done serenading us they call me mo no, they don't, no, they don't, they don't you have an unhealthy attachment to him.
Speaker 2:It's your boy. Go ahead and ask the question so I can give it to you.
Speaker 1:Here we go, let me prepare myself. You know I'm always writing a high of positivity. Okay, how was your week, babe?
Speaker 2:Uplifting.
Speaker 1:Okay, really.
Speaker 2:Stupendous hey Booskies, hey Booskies, hey Booskaronis. Hi, how you feeling?
Speaker 1:I'm good.
Speaker 2:Ass is fat.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:From your purview apparently. Like Doja said, if you can see it from the front, wait till you see it from the back. I don't like that. Now she cool, she look crazy, she cool, though that's how you know it's fire.
Speaker 1:How was your week, my love?
Speaker 2:Stupendous Uplifting. What was the?
Speaker 1:highlight of your week.
Speaker 2:Therapy.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Always therapy.
Speaker 1:Nice.
Speaker 2:Always good when I talk to old Dr Will Eames.
Speaker 1:Okay Will Eames, okay Will Eames, yeah, okay, what was the bullshitness of your week?
Speaker 2:I was, you know, working through my stuff.
Speaker 1:Working through your stuff, my stuff, Okay, you know, getting better. Trying to get all the weeds out of there. Yeah, you know I'm really trying to be better. I know you are, I see it. I feel like you're moving in a great direction.
Speaker 2:The problem with trying to be better is that my wife is constantly testing me. You know what? In?
Speaker 1:order to become better, you must go through obstacles.
Speaker 2:Right, and I'm happy you said that, because when I was listening to Pastor Mike he said you got to learn to tell the difference between opposition and obstacles.
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 2:Exactly, god puts obstacles in front of you. To build you up, to make you better, yes, and opposition, that's where you got to fight. So I'm trying to figure out if you are my opposition, you're my ops or my obstacle. Okay, because, like Dr Mike said, at an obstacle course there's a way out.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:I'm just trying to. Maybe I need to take a way out. Okay, so are you my ops, or are you just my obstacle?
Speaker 1:Kind of your building block, but okay.
Speaker 2:You want to be somebody's foundation so bad?
Speaker 1:I don't want to be. I was just so happy to be placed in such a position.
Speaker 2:You just so happy, just so am I. Your obstacle too. Look at God work. Look at him work.
Speaker 1:Look at him, go Show it out, look at him.
Speaker 2:Look here.
Speaker 1:Show it out.
Speaker 2:Also, let me say I'm actually. I had a good week. That's good. I'm having a great day. My day has been really productive and my timeline has been giving.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:My timeline has really been giving today. I had sent a couple reels to another podcast friend of mine Shout out Des the Diva, and I was like my podcast, my other was given today. I said you need to hear these messages because because these messages are literally speaking to my therapy session friday, and it's like I don't know how dr williams will be doing it, but like every time she tells me something, instagram confirms her oh okay, because it might be, because they're listening, maybe that might be it.
Speaker 1:no it, I'm going to go out on a limb and say it is.
Speaker 2:But Pastor Mike, and what's the other pastor's name? I forget his name. I look like I, I mean they, I look here Now. Look, I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual. I was raised religious and boy, I'm telling you.
Speaker 1:What are you telling me? I want to know.
Speaker 2:You know I'm telling you. What are you telling me? I want to know. You know I haven't really told you this, but like over the last couple of months I've been living, I've been sugar around here, sugar, yeah, god's trying to tell me something I ain't trying to hear it though.
Speaker 1:Well, that's dumb.
Speaker 2:I know I'm listening, but you know, that just you just sounded real, real.
Speaker 1:I'm just I'm just saying Let me clarify what I mean. I'm just going to say you sound like a real gum right now. Let me clarify, okay.
Speaker 2:Let me clarify what I mean. What I mean is that there's been a lot of things placed on my heart that I have not discussed with you because I'm not ready to. But he's been, he's working on me ready to but um he's been, he's working on me. Okay, I'm listening, but you just said that you're not trying to look. I'm listening okay, well, I, I said that, what you said I said that as a as a bratty kid for smiling like you know you can't hear something they don't want to listen, but they, they do.
Speaker 2:They do what you say, but they don't want. Yeah, it's kind of like that mentality. Okay, how was your week? Was that's enough?
Speaker 1:my week was great. My week was stupendous.
Speaker 2:Really Tell us why.
Speaker 1:No particular reason, it was just a good week.
Speaker 2:Hold on, guys. This is a side note, Tangent.
Speaker 1:Oh gosh, the first of many today, because today is an R2Cents episode.
Speaker 2:This is the first of many.
Speaker 1:Oh goodness.
Speaker 2:I have been discussing every year in my job we pick schedules and I have been discussing with my wife of possibly taking a later schedule so I could have more time with her in the morning. But now I have been shown that my wife's morning time is very important to her.
Speaker 1:It always has been.
Speaker 2:And I'm not part of that. That's not because you're not normally here. She has a gym community that she needs a lot more than she needs her husband, but she wants her husband's support and I'm going to support her in that. I support her. So while I go to the gym to get gains and become, you know, lose my weight and get stronger, my wife goes. What do?
Speaker 1:I go to the gym, for I was going to say my girl, my wife goes.
Speaker 2:What do I go to the gym for? I was going to say my girl, my wife goes to the gym for social hour. That is my tangent Wife.
Speaker 1:Okay, like I don't think, because you talk to people and people like talk to you.
Speaker 2:It's like it's a difference between talking to people and passing and having you. You had a whole conversation.
Speaker 1:Okay, that was with one of my other gym buddies, but all my other gym buddies, you see how they like. They give me dabs, they give me high fives and we keep pushing, Babe.
Speaker 2:I got through 60% of my workout while you were talking.
Speaker 1:Okay, and like half of that time we were talking about my squat and like talking about hey, that's fine, long story short. Long story short. My husband thinks that it's ridiculous that I, I guess, talk to people at the gym or have friends at the gym.
Speaker 2:It's not ridiculous at all. You know, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't think it's ridiculous. He has people that he talks to at the gym. It's not ridiculous.
Speaker 2:I'm happy for you. I'm just saying get to work in first talk, get the games, then talk. I got both you definitely gotta ask. But back to your week. What made it so great?
Speaker 1:it was just a good week. It was productive, like I had no what did you, what did you produce? What, like I had? No, what did you produce? What I was productive with my time? Oh, with taking care of all the things I used to take care of. What did you take care of? My family, myself, all of the above, my home, my car, hmm, okay, you know All right, what else you do. That was that, was that, was it? That was it home, my car, hmm, you know All right, what else you do?
Speaker 1:That was, that was that was it, that was it. Yeah, oh, okay.
Speaker 2:Nothing newsworthy to tell. No, you got a. You had a visitor this week.
Speaker 1:I had a who A visitor? A visitor from who you saw your nephew. Oh yeah, I had my nephew for Easter. Yeah, hopefully everybody. Yeah, I had my nephew for Easter. Yeah, hopefully everybody had a great Easter, by the way, yeah, I hope.
Speaker 2:I mean they didn't have a better Easter than Jesus, because he got up. He said y'all thought I had me look at you.
Speaker 1:You played yourself really now you're trying to imagine Jesus saying you played yourself.
Speaker 2:Goodbye, you're so lame.
Speaker 1:This is so inappropriate but to imagine Jesus saying you played yourself Goodbye, you're so lame.
Speaker 2:This is so inappropriate. But I imagine Jesus saying Don't imagine him saying it.
Speaker 1:Just keep it to yourself. Not everything that comes to your mind Should be said out loud. Just keep it to yourself.
Speaker 2:I imagine when they saw Jesus Outside the grave he said Surprise, motherfucker.
Speaker 1:He did not say that outside the grave he said, surprise motherfucker, he did not say that Get off me, get off me, they can't hold me down.
Speaker 2:No, they didn't say that Can't nobody hold me down. Oh, we can't do that, that's puffy. Sorry, too late. Cancel.
Speaker 1:Too late. Cancel it Too late. What? Why are you looking at me? Why are you making it so?
Speaker 2:awkward Because I'm thinking about all the inappropriate things I can say.
Speaker 1:Okay, but you shouldn't.
Speaker 2:And associate it to you.
Speaker 1:You shouldn't, though, because that's how my brain works. Okay, he pulled up. Yeah, he did. He told them to watch out now. Right, he said you thought you had me, huh.
Speaker 2:Right, you know what the disciples said when they saw him. What?
Speaker 1:Dynamite. Okay, they did not, but now I want to watch Good Time.
Speaker 2:It's kid.
Speaker 1:Dynamite, that's. Phoenix's One of her favorite shows, aside from golden girls I love.
Speaker 2:I love that my seven year old like it's because it's because we watched the same shows Our granny watched.
Speaker 1:Cause? First of all because they hit, they don't miss and I can constantly watch the reruns. Like what did she ask me? That is, she was like mom, are we going to start golden girls again reruns? What did she ask me the other day? She was like Mom, are we going to start Golden Girls again? I was like girl. But then I told her I said you haven't watched the Golden Palace, so now I got to get her to watch the Golden Palace and I can't believe that they only.
Speaker 1:I think there's only like two seasons of the Golden Palace.
Speaker 2:We got to get her to watch Gilligan's Island.
Speaker 1:Oh, I used to love Gilligan's Island too.
Speaker 2:Oh, and just so y'all know Marianne was the baddest chick on the island. She wasn't.
Speaker 1:She was hyped up to be, but she really wasn't, though. No, no, she really wasn't Marianne was. She really wasn't, though. Okay.
Speaker 2:No, I'm not talking about the model. The other one, marianne, wasn't the model.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to think Ginger was the model. I'm trying to think how the song went.
Speaker 2:I don't know, oh, I hear the melody, but I can't hear the words what we got today, bucky, I kind of already told them yeah.
Speaker 1:Today is an hour and two cents Hour and two cents. Hour and two cents episode. The reaction episodes that you guys love so much, shouts out to all of the new followers.
Speaker 2:Yes, you guys, we appreciate y'all. Again, like I say, we love y'all real bad, we love y'all like real bad because we feel, because we still feel, like we in the trenches and y'all in the trenches with us.
Speaker 1:I mean, right, like we still in the trenches, but now we can, like we've been scratching dirt and so now it's like you starting to see like light that's peeking through right it's like, it's like, it's like we Jedediah. Okay, okay, never mind, just stop right there.
Speaker 2:It's like we Jedediah before he struck that oil, and when we hit oil we're not going to forget about y'all. We're going to be doing the same shit we do now. We're going to be the Beverly Hillbillies.
Speaker 1:The Beverly Hillbillies and.
Speaker 2:Beverly Hills still eating roadkill and eating possum soup.
Speaker 1:Okay, rabbit stew. No one's eating possum soup or rabbit stew, possum soup would probably fire. Okay, you wouldn't try it. No, I would try it. No, first of all, it's a possum. Okay, where you get it from, there's possums outside. Exactly, that's my point. Thank you for proving it.
Speaker 2:The rabbits are outside, the cows are outside and who's eating?
Speaker 1:Who's eating?
Speaker 2:This is coming from a person who ate alligator bites and loved them. First of all, that's different. Outside that's different. The alligator was outside.
Speaker 1:That was different.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to.
Speaker 1:Oh, I didn't tell you this, I'm not going to explain to you how different it is, but just know that it is.
Speaker 2:So when I walked the dog today she was hilarious because she was determined to catch a crow and I said baby.
Speaker 1:Did you tell her that wasn't going to happen?
Speaker 2:That's not going to happen. That crow. Not going to happen.
Speaker 1:Tell her that her efforts are feeble. I said you are not a cat. Cat, she might think she is she. Well, she, she thinks she's two pounds.
Speaker 2:That's how bailey was. She thought she was as small as the chihuahua.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but it's our two cents episode, all right, guys, so let's just jump right on into it.
Speaker 1:We have an update first right um, it's our first ever update yeah, did you send me the update I did, I texted you, okay, well let's go into the update first. Then, before we head into the hour, two cents. She never, never listens. Okay, so we have an update from the. Am I the asshole for breaking up with my girlfriend after she insisted I pay for her sister's student loans? First of all, let me just shout out our comment section on TikTok and Instagram and Instagram.
Speaker 2:Because it was giving.
Speaker 1:Y'all are hilarious, hilarious hilarious, hilarious.
Speaker 2:And to old girl that was body shaming me I thought it was hilarious. I got thick skin. It don't bother me okay, let's see and yes, she's still a hoe the um. The update proves that she was a hoe okay, y'all ready.
Speaker 1:So here's the update. So a couple of weeks ago, I I posted about how I was 28 and I broke up with my girlfriend, who was 26, after she demanded that I pay off her sister's $42,000 loan after already paying off her $35,000 loan. Y'all overwhelmingly said I am not an asshole and suggested that I reverse the payment. Well, I did exactly that. I called the loan servicer, explained the situation and was able to get the $35,000 payment reversed.
Speaker 1:My ex absolutely lost it when she found out, blowing up my phone with 50 plus text messages and calling me every name in the book. She's telling everyone that I stole from her and her family and that they are threatening legal action, laughing out loud Good luck. Her sister even showed up at my apartment screaming about how I quote unquote ruined their plans, whatever that means. My friends are split Half think that it was savage but justified, and the other thinks that I should have just walked away without taking the money back. But honestly, the fact that immediately started planning how to spend my money on her sister confirms I made the right call. So am I the asshole for taking back the money? That was clearly part of a manipulation scheme.
Speaker 2:No, no, no no, no, and you didn't read the part in there where where he said that she gave him the ultimatum because she was already seeing somebody else and she was just waiting to end the relationship. Okay, that's, that's what?
Speaker 1:okay.
Speaker 2:So yeah, that's, and that's why I had agreed that he wasn't savage like when he said that and that's what made him call and get his money back, because she had already so she had already showed her true colors she had already showed her true colors.
Speaker 1:She had already showed her true colors.
Speaker 2:As a proud member of the Petty Gang and the Petty Society Bye, maurice. And one who deems himself Petty, murphy. Bye. I am very proud of your actions, of getting your money back. These hoes don't deserve nothing but the inches, like I said before. Bye, nothing but the inches. Like I said before, nothing but the inches. And to the lady on Instagram that said I shouldn't call her a hoe because she's still a hoe. Why? Because she was plotting on leaving him. Yeah, and then the fact that she left you, but then she didn't lose your number because when that money, when that account changed, she wanted't know what happened. So I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you, sir. City Boys is up. It's gonna be a long summer, did you say City Boys?
Speaker 1:City Boys is up okay, let's go on to the next one, because I'm not doing this with you. City Boys is up.
Speaker 2:City.
Speaker 1:Boys is up. Okay, here we go, hold on.
Speaker 2:You're not finna, discount my what's wrong with the city boy.
Speaker 1:Nothing we up.
Speaker 2:Okay, you're not a city boy, I'm not Okay, the men are up. We'll say the men are up. Okay, you doing too much.
Speaker 1:Would I be the asshole for reporting a doctor for indicating that I was cheating? Well, I mean A little context before we get into it.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:I'm a 27 year old female, my partner is 26 year old male and we've been together for three years. We have a great relationship and from the day we met we never saw or dated anybody else. I had a more quote unquote fun past than my partner, but always got checked just to be safe. I got myself checked right before I met my partner and I was all clear. Fast forward to October just gone. I had just given birth via emergency C-section to our beautiful baby boy. This was after a failed induction, three sweeps back births, 48 hours in labor and a hormone drip. I was in the depths of postpartum depression. Not only the PPD, but my surgery went wrong, causing nerve damage in my arm and not being able to use it for eight weeks.
Speaker 1:After surgery, myself and our son were in the hospital for six days after his birth. We went home and we were scared but excited. On the 10th day of his life, I noticed his eyes were getting puffy and a little gloopy and decided to call on a doctor. As it was Sunday late evening, he asked us to come down, which we did, and there it was when it went all wrong. The doctor asked how old my son was. I replied 10 days. He said yes, I already know what this is. Without even looking at him, he gave me this really long terminology that sounded like the furniture would move if you said it out loud. He told me to look it up when I got home alone I live with my partner and our son I looked it up in the doctor's office and nearly died there, and then it basically said conjunctivitis due to chlamydia. When I tell you, I looked at him like he had 17 heads. This is actually common, as some forms of the clap don't show up in women.
Speaker 1:I started bawling. I said then that I don't have that and that I was tested before my partner and that I have been with nobody else since then. He looked at me and said are you sure, damn, if I wasn't crying so hard, I genuinely would have slapped him. He looked at my partner with sympathy. I then said I did not have a vaginal birth, so how could that have happened? This is a specific condition that is common, bearing in mind if you have a vaginal birth. So how could that have happened? This is a specific condition that is common, bearing in mind if you have a vaginal birth. He brushed off what I said and he basically blamed and shamed me for absolutely nothing.
Speaker 1:We left there and I got home. I got a test kit for home and from the hospital and, ironically, would you believe, it was clean and clear and so was my partner. Then we went to my child's actual pediatrician and he explained that was impossible as because I gave a birth via C-section, but that he did have conjunctivitis, but bacterial. I wanted to bring back, bring him back and give give the doctor peace of my mind, calling him ignorant and inconsiderate to people and new mothers who already have a lot going on. My partner said that it would be. I would be a bit of an asshole if I rang back to give him a lot, to stick it to him when I could just move on, whereas I think he needs to realize that he has to listen and not shame people. Even if this does happen, but never mind that it did it Would I be the asshole for reporting him to the board?
Speaker 2:I mean no, but there's nothing you can do.
Speaker 1:Even if you reported him to the board, they wouldn't do anything.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because that's his opinion.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think they call that bedside manner. It's just a doctor who has like really bad bedside manner. But yeah, no, I mean me personally, because I'd be petty sometimes. I would probably.
Speaker 2:You would have called, sent three emails. Yeah, you would have sent a letter to his mother.
Speaker 1:I would have found other patients who were disgruntled, other patients who really didn't care for him much. Yeah, you would have. Yeah, I would have went. Yeah, you would have went. I would have went like balls to the wall Is that what they say?
Speaker 2:Balls to the wall, yeah, whatever they say yeah, uh well, I mean congratulations on the baby and um you're, I guess you don't have chlamydia but the baby has conjunctivitis.
Speaker 1:He got it from somewhere. Bacteria is it? She said bacteria or something like that, but it honestly the point of the story is no I would say you wouldn't be the asshole for reporting him, because he also didn't make you feel welcomed or comfortable, but to indicate, and especially in front of my partner, that I've basically been cheating or you know what I mean Like I think that's kind of effed up.
Speaker 2:I mean, here's the thing. I do think the doctor was an asshole, because what if the scenario would mean she got the chlamydia from? Her from her partner and he was cheating that part. You can just assume that part of women. Now we know that, you know, sex is a lot more relative over women than men. So I mean it's a fair assumption, but wow, it shouldn't be made. Wow, shouldn't be made like that right now.
Speaker 1:Okay, moving on because I can't with you.
Speaker 2:That was a long one.
Speaker 1:Am I the? Am I the asshole for refusing to babysit again after my sister didn't pick her kids up on time? Hell, no, no, before I even read it, no Before. I even read it. No, we even got to go into this one. No, because people be real disrespectful when you doing them a favor in a solid by watching your kids.
Speaker 2:We even got to read this one.
Speaker 1:Okay, so it says. At the beginning of this week I babysat my sister's two kids, one of which is a newborn.
Speaker 2:Oh hell no.
Speaker 1:She's a single mother and went out to meet with friends to have lunch. She promised me to be back after a few hours. I didn't want to babysit, since it would cost me precious time for my exam prep, but I was anxious because there was a newborn and I have zero experience. But she begged and she cried, so I did. She didn't show up until yesterday in the evening and I wasn't able to reach her during the four days she was gone.
Speaker 2:Damn.
Speaker 1:And even called hospitals to see if they had found a female body or what, because I was seriously concerned and I thought something major had happened.
Speaker 2:Damn.
Speaker 1:How the hell you disappear for four days. Damn, I can't. Turns out she was partying and lost track of time and I should just stay calm and don't cause so much drama, because everything is good and nothing bad had happened to the kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah because they weren't in my care.
Speaker 1:Right, she didn't see the fact that I was shaking and had panic attacks. Right, she didn't see the fact that I was shaking and had panic attacks. After she told me to shut the F up because she tried to sleep, I just packed my stuff and now I'm on the train going back to yes, going back to my place. When I left, she called me and said how dare I leave? Because I had promised to take care of the two year old when she goes to the hospital for her appointment on Saturday morning with the newborn, and that I promised that before she partied. So, no matter what had happened, I need to keep my word. I feel a little guilty, but I'm also afraid she'll continue to. She'll continue that and let me set that over.
Speaker 1:I feel a little guilty, but also I'm afraid she will continue like that and I felt a need to protect myself. My mom and her think that I'm an asshole. My mom partly understands, but said that I have should have been patient one more day until the appointment. Am I the asshole? No, absolutely not. Look here. Absolutely. She thought just because you were her sister, she could take advantage.
Speaker 2:Look here, this just effing triggered me.
Speaker 2:Okay, I can't, I can't. Do you remember when we agreed to watch your nephews for like a night so your sister didn't go out and then she left the whole weekend? No, you remember that? Uh-uh, I remember that and it pissed me off so much. Like she literally like this is when we lived across the street from her, Okay, and she had went out with her friends and they were in LA and they were partying and she just decided that you know, I got time out and she took the whole weekend.
Speaker 1:Oh, I don't remember that I remember that because I was pissed, Obviously because it stuck with you. It triggered me.
Speaker 2:No, you're not an asshole. I I'm going to say this as nicely as I can Fuck her and her kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't think you're the asshole. I think what's rude and disrespectful is she asked you to watch her two children, one being a newborn.
Speaker 1:First of all, I'm not fit to drop my newborn off. Let's start there. But that's neither here nor there. She was being rude and disrespectful by asking you to watch them for a few hours and then went mia for four days, not pick up her phone and you not be able to get in contact with her. I just feel like that just shows her level of maturity, because how you gonna drop your newborn off and then go mia for four days, you don't even call to check in on your newborn. I'm gonna ask.
Speaker 2:It's a newborn. I'm gonna just go ahead to ask the question. It's a newborn. I'm going to just go ahead and ask the question.
Speaker 1:Everybody in the comments is going to ask when would daddy at Babe? She disappears for four days and drops off a newborn. We probably don't even know who he is. Let's be for real.
Speaker 2:So the doctor was right to assume.
Speaker 1:I guess some situation is. I guess it is. I guess it is in some situations. Oh okay, am I the asshole for asking my husband not to go on a trip with a woman who openly flirts with him and feeling betrayed when he did it anyway? Okay, let's see. Hi everyone, I'm 32 and I've been married to my husband let's call him Joe for eight years, and they've been together for 10. In all that time, we have always prioritized each other's emotional well-being. If something hurt one of us, we didn't do it again, no matter what. We valued having a happy spouse more than being right. Because of this, my love for him grew immensely. I was certain he'd never do anything that would break my heart, but here I am heartbroken and disappointed.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to read his head.
Speaker 1:Here she is. Joe owns a company and we work together. Financially, we're in a great place. Recently, though Joe's father we got the chance to bid for through Joe's father, we got a chance to bid for a major government contract a massive opportunity Due to its scale involved without whom the deal won't happen is led by a very attractive, flirty woman. She's the CEO and has openly flirted with Joe in front of me. We both noticed her behavior and, in order to avoid misunderstandings or conflicts, we decided to work on the bid together.
Speaker 1:Things were OK until one meeting where, during a break, she touched Joe's arm and said something like quote, if I had a husband like you, I'd never leave your side. You're someone every woman wants, but sometimes even that's not enough. Someone else might steal your mind. End quote. I snapped. I responded quote, I'm not following him. He just never leaves my side. End quote. She brushed it off as a joke, but I knew that it wasn't. I saw the look in her eyes and I know women.
Speaker 1:Later I talked to Joe about it. He admitted that she was crossing a line and that he was in fact uncomfortable, but didn't react strongly to avoid jeopardizing the deal. I wasn't thrilled, but I tried to understand. Then one day I found out that I was excluded from a three-day trip, site visit for the bid, a trip requested by the woman. Only five people are going, and Joe is one of them. When I heard, I told him that I was extremely uncomfortable with this and asked him not to go. I even begged him. I said that the deal wasn't worth it and that financially we're stable and that we don't need the contract. But he went anyway.
Speaker 1:Even after everything I said, he left without me. Something broke in me. I trusted him with my whole heart. I truly believed he'd never choose anything over my peace of mind. Now I feel like he did. He left me behind and it hurts so deeply that part of me doesn't even want to care anymore. If he comes back, if he ends up with that woman, I just feel numb. A part of me doesn't even want to care anymore. If he comes back, if he ends up with that woman, I just feel numb. A part of me says come on, 10 amazing years, don't throw it all away. Another part wants to take off my wedding ring and send him a photo and file for divorce. So am I the asshole for asking him not to go. And how do I even begin to deal with these emotions? Go ahead, well, I gotta go first. No, no, tell me what your thoughts are. Um, all right, she, she said am I the asshole for asking him not to go?
Speaker 1:no I don't think you're an asshole for asking not to go. Did you want me to?
Speaker 2:go or not.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I thought you wanted me to say that because apparently, you don't want me to go, or not? Oh yeah, I thought you wanted me to say that, because apparently you don't want me to go to either. Go, bye, bye. I see what you did there.
Speaker 2:Okay, no, you're not an asshole for asking him not to go, mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:But at the same time, I feel like your husband sees the potential in the deal and he's secure enough in himself and his relationship that he can take this trip to try to make the deal go through.
Speaker 2:And I feel like the real issue here is that either you don't trust Joe or you're dealing with your own insecurities.
Speaker 2:Or you're dealing with your own insecurities, because if Joe has never shown you any signs of infidelity or being untrustworthy, then you are allowing your insecurities to be portrayed onto him and that's why you're trying to control it and that's why you feel the way you do about this movement. But if you believe your husband can be faithful to you, I don't see the issue with him going to try to make this deal go through, because it will, like you said in the beginning, it will benefit you guys greatly. Even though you guys are stable now, you'll be even better off after the deal. So I believe Joe is thinking about future stability. So I don't think he and if he already acknowledged that the woman is inappropriate and he's giving you, you know, no signs or no indication that he wants this woman or wants to pursue this woman? I don't. I don't see an issue with him taking the trip, and I think that you're me personally I feel like you're overreacting, but I'm pretty sure my wife feels differently.
Speaker 1:OK, so I can, I can, I can understand all of that. But OK, a couple of things. For one, they don't need the money, it's. It just seems like it's a really great opportunity We've established that Right For two. She has said that the premise and foundation of their relationship is that they have always prioritized each other's emotional well-being and peace, no matter what and no matter who is right Right. They prioritize our emotional well-being for each other over who is right Right. They prioritize our emotional well-being for each other over who is right.
Speaker 1:So, even though this is a great opportunity if she listen okay, but listen, if she she understands that this is a great opportunity, they both have already experienced the inappropriateness of this woman, right?
Speaker 1:And if he has always prioritized the way his wife feels, has always taken into consideration her emotions or whatever, and he's always said you know what, if this causes you any angst, it's not worth it. But then we get to a situation like this where we clearly know you're about to be around a woman who clearly wants you, who's made it known and has gone as far as disrespecting me in front of you, and then the one time you want to stick to your guns and think you have a great excuse to not prioritize how I'm telling you, I'm feeling, is when you're going to go on a three day trip away from me with another woman who has already disrespected me in front of you Listen, for the sake of more money, which we don't need, okay, okay. So from her perspective, I completely understand that, because if that has been my relationship for the past 10 years and I have known and I have settled in and have been secure in the fact that anytime I have come to you and I've said, this makes me uncomfortable, this gives me angst or whatever you can call it insecurity, you can call it whatever, but you have always reassured me in that way, no matter what the situation was, was. You have always said I'm prioritizing how you feel and your feelings matter to keep our marriage on steady ground. And I have been secure in that and I have leaned on that for 10 years. And then the one, the one time, the one time you're not going to prioritize what I'm telling you, I'm feeling, is going to be you away from home for 72 hours with another woman who has basically made you her target, and I'm supposed to be okay with that. So no, that's going to be a no, cause it's. That's going to be a no, just pull up. It's going to be a no because now we don't know the ins and outs.
Speaker 1:But my thing is did you, did you, did you fight for why I should be there? Because she said that they're working on the project together, because that's also something he agreed to to make her comfortable. So if we're going to go see a bid site, right, and you and she knows that you and I are not just husband and wife but we're also business partners, why wasn't my wife included on this job? So, him as a man, him and him as a man, that's all on him. Because if he didn't say, you know, me and my wife are also business partners. So therefore all the business partners need to be here on this bid site. And you didn't make a stance for saying my business partner, aka my wife, needs to come in on this bid site, and you allowed her because she's the CEO and without her this isn't going to happen. So basically, now you're telling me you're pleasing another woman over me for money.
Speaker 2:That's wild because we don't even need money. Is he pleasing the woman or is he trying to make the deal happen?
Speaker 1:He's pleasing the woman because listen the deal.
Speaker 2:The deal is only an opportunity.
Speaker 1:It's not anything that's going to be like. It's going to be detrimental to us if we don't have it. So you mean that's okay, so listen. So so here. So this is what you're saying. You're telling me that you having a bigger opportunity to generate more income that's gonna be associated with a woman who clearly is attracted to you, who clearly flirts with you, who's done it in front of me, right?
Speaker 1:You didn't correct her the first time when she disrespected me in front of you. You didn't correct it the first time. You didn't stand up for me when she said okay, we're, all the business partners are going on a three-day work site bid and everyone needs to be there. You didn't stand up for me and say my business partner, AKA my wife, needs to be there. You're doing everything to keep her happy until this goes through. And then, the back of your mind, what you're thinking is you're going to fix everything with me once. Once the deal's complete and you've got the check and we got the money, you think that let me keep her happy, Let me keep this woman happy, and then, once I get what I want this big opportunity, then I can go back and fix things with my wife. But it's business, yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, she's mixing. She's mixing, her mixing their personal relationship with the business.
Speaker 1:No no, no, reese, that's always going to happen because they're married and they're in business together. I'm saying that's why you don't go into business with your spouse, if that's going to be an issue and what I'm saying is he's seeing it as business and she's seeing it as a personal attack on her marriage.
Speaker 2:Okay, they're not seeing it the same Okay.
Speaker 1:They as a personal attack on her marriage. Okay, they're not seeing it the same, okay they're not seeing it the same.
Speaker 2:Can I speak, woman, go ahead Now. I agree with you on the fact of he should take measures to make sure his wife feels heard and protected and make sure that her emotional well-being is intact. I do agree with that. What I'm saying is I see from a man's perspective. I can see why he chose to go.
Speaker 1:Exactly that's what I'm saying and I'm telling you. Because he's thinking, at the end of the day, this deal is going to benefit all of us it's going to be, but he's prioritizing that and making the woman who he's doing the deal with.
Speaker 2:But he don't see it that way.
Speaker 1:Maurice, listen, it doesn't matter how you try to slice it up. You can keep slapping business on it all you want to, but if you, if you, if it came down to your marriage listen if it came, maurice. She made it romantic when she openly flirted with him in front of his wife and disrespected his wife and he didn't stand up and say that that she.
Speaker 2:She made it one sided, he's not.
Speaker 1:Maurice, it does, it does, it doesn't. It doesn't matter how you try to like dress it up, ok, it doesn't matter how you're trying to.
Speaker 2:So we're going to not get the bag because, because she want me.
Speaker 1:But see, the bag is something that we want. The bag is something that we need. So when you start prioritizing the bag over us and you start prioritizing the bag over how I'm telling you this is affecting me, then that then then we need to reconsider things, because now what you're telling me is is that your priorities, your priorities for me, are not in order. Okay, that's what you're telling me, and you can, like I said, you can keep slapping business on it. You can keep saying that's the way he's not thinking. Okay, then don't think that way and be rich and divorced, because guess what Guess be rich and divorced? Because guess what, guess what, if we're already business partners.
Speaker 1:When I leave your ass because now I know that you're not going to prioritize me over an opportunity, guess what? I still, I'm still going to make money. I'm going to make the money that we made together. I'm going to get probably half of everything we got together. I'm getting half of the damn opportunity when you finish it, and then you can go give it to her flirting, and I hope you guys will be happy, so either way it goes, sounds like I win.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it sounds like if she leaves, they both win because she's going to go. Both of them win.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you know like, so keep slapping business on it Every time you slap every time you slap business on it, you get hyped about this yeah, because the fact that you're trying not to like understand the issue. It's crazy. It's crazy work, but you're gonna keep because you want to hold it down for the guys you want to hold it down for the guys. As a man, he's not thinking about it like that.
Speaker 2:What I'm saying is I'm a man. What I'm saying is I understand everything how she feels of what she's saying. It's just that it'd be hard for me to allow her insecurities to stop the deal from happening to stop you from making more money that you don't even need anyway. You can always that's because that's the price and that's greedy, and then that's greed.
Speaker 1:So now, now I can just keep piling it up because that's greed, I'm done, that's just greed like a great opportunity.
Speaker 2:Yes, this has been a great opportunity. Yes, this has been a great opportunity.
Speaker 1:Yes, nobody wants to turn on a great opportunity. But all all that glitter is ain't gold, Don't you? If you hit it, I swear I'm going to pinch the crap out of you. I'm a pinch. You Press it, Press it.
Speaker 2:Are you done?
Speaker 1:I'm blinking, somebody say no, gonna save you. Yeah, prioritize the bag, are you done? I can't. I'm not doing this with you, okay? Am I the asshole for telling my fiance that he's not allowed to be tired? Okay, okay. I'm a 28 year old female and my fiance is 32. We have an eight-month-old daughter. Since I lost my job three months ago, I've been a stay-at-home mom while looking for work. However, his income isn't enough to cover our bills, so I've been using my savings to pay half of our bills.
Speaker 1:For the past few weeks, the baby has been sleeping less and less, being fussy with feedings and naps and genuinely upset because she's teething. Most of the day is spent comforting and entertaining her and cleaning the house. Because he gets home late, she usually is asleep, but has been waking up between 2 and 3 am and staying awake for a couple of hours. Averaging wake up time is between 6 and 7 am. Needless to say, I'm not getting a lot of sleep.
Speaker 1:Well, today he had the day off and went to the doctor for two hours for a physical, then came home. Baby had been fussy and finally took a nap in the car on the way home and slept a bit at home. Within 20 minutes she was up again and it was close to another feeding. So I asked if he could feed her and he said no, because he was tired from the doctor. I snapped.
Speaker 1:I told him that I had been up since 630 and I was exhausted from lack of sleep for the past three days. He told me that he was exhausted from working eight hour shifts and that that two hours at the doctor's office was also exhausting and that he didn't feel good. I snapped again and I told him that he wasn't allowed to be tired, because at least he doesn't have to get up in the middle of the night and take care of a baby or clean an entire house or do all of the cooking. He snapped back at me and said that I was being insensitive and that he was working hard to advance in his job since I had lost mine. So am I the asshole for telling him that he's not allowed to be tired?
Speaker 2:Sadly yes.
Speaker 1:I mean, you could be an asshole for telling them that he's not like for saying the words.
Speaker 2:Okay, good yeah. Go ahead and put it on for the ladies.
Speaker 1:Okay, good yeah go ahead and put it on for the ladies. He can be tired. I mean, yeah, you could be an asshole for saying that, because here's the thing when there's a new baby involved, it's tiring for both parties. Having a baby in the house is tiring for both parties. Okay, both parties. Parties, okay, both parties. But we all know, whether you working or not working, who's primarily getting up in the middle of the night, who's primarily doing feedings? We already know. Go, go ahead and go ahead and be um and be passive, aggressive, like you, like you, like you like to do, like you like to do.
Speaker 2:Go, I'm not passing the guess at all. Like you like to do, go ahead, I'm not passing the guess at all. My response is this I believe you are an asshole for saying that.
Speaker 1:For saying the words yes.
Speaker 2:I also believe he was an asshole for saying he was tired on Saturday.
Speaker 1:Now From his two-hour doctor's appointment.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's a long time to be a doctor.
Speaker 1:It was a physical I hour doctor's appointment. Okay, that's a long time to be a doctor.
Speaker 2:It was a physical. I don't know what he does. He must have been over a couple times Something, but he only works eight hours a day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's like.
Speaker 2:Okay, calm down. You're working eight hours a day. Let me get into it.
Speaker 1:Because I was going to say can you? I'm not trying to discredit anybody, but I'm saying there's a difference between an eight hour shift and a I mean we can.
Speaker 2:We can relate to this because you know when you were home with her. When you're still on, I don't leave and I was working now, mind you, I was working, but I was working 10 hours a day. I was working 10 and a half, 11 hours a day and then coming home and I was still spending about an hour to two hours every afternoon or evening with the baby, so that she would at least get a break. She could at least lay down for a little bit shower watch a show.
Speaker 2:I was doing something and then on the weekends I was taking the baby, so like she had a break, I do think that it is like he. I think he is an asshole because, regardless of whether it was two hours or three hours, whatever it was at the doctor, he should prioritize helping you out on the weekends, because I understand, as someone who has been on both sides of this meaning the person who's been with the child all day and the person who's coming home with the child all day is that whoever's been with the child all day, they haven't had a break.
Speaker 1:They haven't. They haven't, nope.
Speaker 2:And especially if you have a baby that don't like taking naps.
Speaker 1:Or a baby that's being breastfed Right. That's a whole different.
Speaker 2:I think you are an asshole, because people get tired. Working eight hours a day I mean, lord, when was the last time I did that? That sounds great. That's not enough to be tired. I feel like if he's only working eight hours a day, he can help. He can definitely help during the week after work. Have to be tired. I feel like if he's only working eight hours a day, he can help. He can definitely help during the week after work and if he's going to work late he can get up and do them two and three am feedings, because if he's working eight hours a day and he's getting home at like eight or nine at night, he ain't going to work till noon. He can take a nap before work.
Speaker 1:But you know how some men are. Be careful who you choose. Choose wisely. We're not built the same and it's okay. Because we all have our strengths and we all have our weaknesses. That's why we go together like PB and J.
Speaker 2:Who's PB and who's the J?
Speaker 1:No, I'm just saying like they compliment each other.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying, like men and women compliment each other, what with me, with us?
Speaker 1:I think I'm peanut butter.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because you thick. Yeah, you got that right, because you thick. Goodbye Demel, what are you Thick?
Speaker 1:So silly? Is it a red flag if my girlfriend hides her phone around me? What do you think Possible? Me and my girlfriend have been together for about 10 months. Lately I've started noticing that she's really weird about her phone. She keeps it face down all the time. Oh she turns off the oh, she's cheating, she's cheating. She keeps it face down all the time, turns off notifications when I'm around and takes it with her, even if she's just stepping out for a minute.
Speaker 2:She putting on silent, she cheating.
Speaker 1:She used to be more open, like showing me memes and stuff from her chats, but now it's like the phone is some top secret device. I'm not the kind of guy who goes snooping and I haven't gone through it, but I can't lie. It's starting to bother me. I asked her if something is up and she just said I like my privacy, that's all. She gives no other explanation. Is it a red flag? I want to trust her, but it's hard not to feel like she's hiding something.
Speaker 1:It's a red flag oh no, she's cheating. I like how you said oh no, she's cheating, like if he was asking you Face to face. Oh no, no, no, she's cheating. She's cheating, it's a red flag. Like what more do you want? It's a red flag.
Speaker 2:Uh, huh, um. And if you wanna know, match the energy and see if she likes it. And see if she likes it, because if If that energy don't sit well with her cause, she know what she doing with it. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Easy fix you could and see if she likes it, or she might be so distracted by what's on that phone that she wouldn't even care. Okay, so I mean, either way you should get to, you should get your answer. Two can play that game. Yeah, cause you know, if you just put a little Petty patty hat on, Become Petty Murphy. If you become, if you put a little Petty patty hat on, you'll get a lot done. Right, you'll get a lot done. What's with the?
Speaker 2:gang sign.
Speaker 1:That wasn't a gang sign.
Speaker 2:You gonna throw it up again. That's peace, that's wild.
Speaker 1:That's peace with thumbs, that's wild Peace with thumbs wow, is that a piece with thumbs?
Speaker 2:no, okay I'm sure whatever you say, oh, that's wild, that's all we got. Yeah, it was kind of dry, you know juicy ones no, no, you just like ratchetness.
Speaker 1:You talk about me, but you, you like. You like ratchetness, you like stuff like from the gutter. I'm here for the drama. No, babe, what are you talking about? That was drama.
Speaker 2:Okay, it wasn't enough drama for you well, this has been another episode of the Life After I Do podcast. We appreciate you watching and listening. You can follow us on all social media platforms. At TikTok At TikTok. On TikTok.
Speaker 1:This isn't normally his speech Instagram.
Speaker 2:We're also on Facebook and YouTube. Shouts out to all the new followers. We appreciate your support we love y'all um. You are really helping us with these gymnastics fees. We appreciate y'all bye greatly, um. Keep up the good work. Keep up the good work, um. You can write in to us at lifeoutofjewpodcast at gmailcom um, we look forward to seeing you every Wednesday why you sound like you giving a job interview and until next time no why you sound like you giving a job interview.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to be more verbose, you know.
Speaker 2:We appreciate you for coming in today.
Speaker 1:Let me start over this has been another episode of the life after I do podcast this has been another episode of the life after I do podcast.
Speaker 2:It's one of the best podcasts hands down no, we're not doing that. Hands down. We're not doing that.
Speaker 1:You won't no we're not on this podcast.
Speaker 2:You won't find a better podcast these two.
Speaker 1:Everything is great.
Speaker 2:These two, nisha G, I mean, they know their stuff. You want to talk about informed people. You want to talk about informed people, they know their stuff. And let me tell you R2Cent, I love it. Self-cheats Love it. You can follow them everywhere. They're on TikTok, they're not on Truth.
Speaker 1:I don't even know what Truth is.
Speaker 2:Hopefully soon they'll be on Truth, okay, truth Social.
Speaker 1:What's the other one?
Speaker 2:That's my platform Truth Social. You can follow us everywhere. You can follow them everywhere TikTok, instagram, facebook.
Speaker 1:It's wonderful, everything is wonderful.
Speaker 2:Everywhere you can find fake news, you can follow them, you can write it to them. I think they have a Gmail account Whack.
Speaker 1:So silly, so silly. All right, guys, until next week. Thanks for hanging with us. Peace booskies, peace booskies.
