Life After I Do Podcast
Marriage and relationships can be tough. You may feel like you’re the only one struggling but you’re not. Life After I do is a weekly podcast where Morice and Kynesha, a black married millennial couple, share their experiences and advice on everything from kids and family to intimacy and connection. Noting is off limits.
In their 21 years together and 7 years of marriage, Morice and Kynesha have learned a lot about what it takes to make a relationship work. They know the importance of communication, trust and commitment. They also know it’s okay to not have it all figured out.
Join them every Wednesday as they talk about their own journey of “Life After I do”.
Life After I Do Podcast
This Or That
✨ Marriage isn't always picture-perfect—and that's okay. In this hilarious and brutally honest episode of Life After I Do, Kynesha and Morice peel back the curtain on the real, messy, and surprisingly funny side of long-term love.
From sleeping in separate rooms for better rest to debating emotional cheating, this episode is packed with candid moments that prove no topic is off-limits.
🍬 It all starts with jelly beans. Morice’s desperate search for Starburst jelly beans kicks off a lighthearted reflection on the small, thoughtful moments that keep a marriage thriving—yes, even when it results in a 3-pound gain after a pupusa binge.
🔥 Main Segment: “Would We or Wouldn’t We?”
The couple answers spicy and sometimes uncomfortable relationship questions with unfiltered honesty:
💬 Would you forgive emotional cheating?
💬 What would you do if your partner was attracted to someone else?
💬 Is sleeping in separate rooms a dealbreaker or a relationship saver?
👀 Their perspectives on privacy, boundaries, and forgiveness show how every couple finds their own rhythm—and why that’s what truly matters.
I'm going to say, yeah, there was like what, like maybe what was like six months, eight months a year or something like that, where you slept in your office.
Speaker 2:Yeah and then. But then you was like I'm getting tired and I have my husband in bed and I was like it was great. But then again I was like but I was like this is the only way I'm actually getting quality sleep, both of us.
Speaker 1:That was the only way we were both actually getting quality sleep. Hey, everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Life After I Do Podcast. You're going to be hanging out with me, kynesha, and my rock star of a husband.
Speaker 2:Stop trying to gas me up.
Speaker 1:I'm your biggest cheerleader. What can I say?
Speaker 2:Gas pedal. Hey, hey, gas pedal. Hey, what happened to Sage? Oh, I don't know, he was a Gemini. He switched up. What was it? This is what happens when you get a husband that had rest.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, that family nap today.
Speaker 2:Was everything.
Speaker 1:We took a family nap today.
Speaker 2:It was great. So we told Phoenix Wait, we're going to sleep.
Speaker 1:I was, like I said, we had already planned on taking a family nap, but I think we were all like sugar induced as well.
Speaker 2:I didn't have any sugar.
Speaker 1:He's a lie. He's an applesauce lie, applesauce, okay. He's an applesauce lie. Okay, listen, I don't know what it was, but I wanted some jelly beans.
Speaker 2:You know exactly what it was.
Speaker 1:I wanted some Starburst jelly beans, and so my husband, being the man that he is, while he was already like laying down, enjoying his Saturday evening resting, I decided to come over to him with BS and I was like, hey, so you know, I could really go for some jelly beans and red vines and he was laying there and he was like okay, and he was like so when I asked you if you want anything from Target when I was there earlier, I said I didn't want them earlier.
Speaker 2:I want them now. My wife knows that even when I don't go to the gym, so Saturdays, I don't work out on Saturdays but I start to get my steps in. So now, what I do now is I walk to get my coffee in the morning. So as a way to get my steps. So it's about a good A couple of miles. It's about a good two mile walk to.
Speaker 2:Target to the Starbucks inside Target and back. So that's what I do. So I say, hey, I'll pick up the stuff for breakfast. I'll get tossing the stuff. Do you want anything else? I don't want them then. No, she waits. I'm home, I've straightened up the backyard, picked up the logs that the dog has left. I said you're not even a full-grown dog, you drop the logs like this Diabolical, diabolical. I spent some time, one-on-one time, with the dog, trying to get her to sit and stay, and stuff all that stuff. She did good and then she got stubborn. Anyway, I did my laundry for the third, third, fourth week in a row. My wife is slipping, um, because you've been, oh, all right, and now I'm like, okay, now, like I know we have to record later, so I want to relax and rest so I can be refreshed and then she hits me with the yeah, babe, you know, I don't know, I don't know what it is, it's just like I just want some red vines or some jelly beans
Speaker 2:and I'm looking at her like like, do you understand that this? It's warm today now, mind you, it wouldn't been as bad. But the high school around the corner, like I guess they're hosting like events. No, they're hosting like the all the. No, they're hosting like the oh the games and stuff, like the track championship or something. So there's like it's popping around. It was popping around the corner Because when I was walking home I was like that is a. It was like there are like 40 school buses deep. I said that's a lot of people. Yeah, it's a lot of people, right. And I said okay, well, whatever. So I was like now she want me to go drive through this traffic. Mind you, we live in a very active neighborhood. So on Saturdays, everybody out.
Speaker 2:The walkers the joggers, the kids and then you got the soccer games going, you got the softball games going, you got the baseball games going, you got the track meet going.
Speaker 1:I'm like and you want some jelly beans. You were a superstar because he went and got my jelly beans and then, like, when he got there, I was like, okay, now these are the ones you're looking for, because I wanted the Starburst jelly beans and you know, they have the Easter candy out, so now they have like the favorite reds. So it's like the strawberry, the watermelon, it's like the red you know reds and pinks. So I was like, oh, you got to get these. And he's like, oh, they don't have them. And I was like, yes, they do.
Speaker 1:He was like I'm in the candy aisle Kynesha, they're not here. And I was like it's part of Easter collection. So you're going to have to find the Easter section of candy in the store. But there's plenty of employees there because it's Saturday, so just go ahead and ask an employee and they should be able to direct you. But I'm confident that you should be able to come back home with Starburst jelly beans reds to be more exact and he was successful and I appreciate you, great man, he's a good man, savannah.
Speaker 2:How was your week?
Speaker 1:My week was good. How was your week? Oh gosh Okay.
Speaker 2:You know what, never mind.
Speaker 1:I think, going forward, I'm either going to just skip your week or maybe we just don't start with each other's weeks anymore, because I feel like, coming into recording, I can be like at a high Like. I'm like excited you know, because this is time that we get together and I enjoy this time, you know. And then when I go and I'm like, ok, well, how was your week, babe? And then it starts with the. I was thinking, I was trying to reflect.
Speaker 1:Then I'm just like you know what, Never mind. I was trying to reflect. Then I'm just like you know what, Never mind I'm at a five now.
Speaker 2:I was trying to my week was See here here. Okay, here. My week was it was rocky because I had some stomach issues. Okay, for a couple of days I kind of threw my whole plan off. Okay, that I wasn't expecting to do. So that was. You know, since Wednesday has been pretty good, okay, shots out to that papusa place. Look here.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, that was good. Look here, that was really good, I gained three pounds.
Speaker 2:I'm going to just say it.
Speaker 1:That's crazy work, because I lost a whole pound. Yeah, I know it was crazy, which only lets me know that I haven't been eating my calories like I should have, and so I text my trainer the next morning.
Speaker 2:I said look man, I ate six pupusas yesterday and it was worth it. And I feel no shame. It was worth it, it was worth every bite. And the fact is we doubled back.
Speaker 1:Right, we went there. We went there, we got some for lunch and we were like, ok, we're going to get a couple of like a few to try. And then we're going to get, like our kid one right, they barely survived getting to her when we went to pick her up from school, like we were just about to ixnay the whole thing and just eat them all and pretend like it never happened and then just bring her home and get her a sandwich or something. She didn't appreciate good food.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:And they were just really good. They were handmade, like they were just really good, you know. But anyway, we saved her one. She ended up eating, eating it. She liked it.
Speaker 2:We liked it so much that we went back later that evening and got more and here's the cold part when we went back, when we went back, grandma was making them, so they were better, they were back like the way she was doing, the way she was doing with their hands oh, you're so good. I said this is gonna be fire.
Speaker 1:Yeah, her hands they were so good, I said this is going to be fire, yeah, and they were. They were really good. And she made them bigger this time too, because, remember, the ones we got earlier for lunch were a little bit like, they were like medium size, but she made them like a little bit bigger, and the way she stacked them I was like, yes, they were so good, so so, so good, I said to myself I know I have fitness goals and I've done really good so far. Yeah, you'll still achieve them.
Speaker 2:And I said but today it's a papusa day yeah, I had, I had what Four? I think I had. I had six the whole day.
Speaker 1:I had four. I had four papusas, I had a Coke Zero.
Speaker 2:Had I known that I was going to love those pupusas so much I would have skipped breakfast. Oh my gosh, I bet you there's fire in the morning for breakfast, right, just going to get just the cheese ones too.
Speaker 1:I actually would try the bean and cheese one for breakfast.
Speaker 2:Okay, tomorrow morning.
Speaker 1:That's what I was just thinking.
Speaker 2:I was like, oh my gosh, because then they're going to be super, super fresh and if we get there like right when they open Right when they open, and you know what it's going to be an old lady cooking in the morning too, because of the morning show.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh yeah, we're going to get the bean and cheese the babusas was a highlight of my week. The babusas are really really good.
Speaker 2:The papusas was so good I forgot I had a therapy session.
Speaker 1:Right, cause we were sitting there and I'm my doctor, is my therapist?
Speaker 2:Text me she's like. Hey I said my bad, I log in right now.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, I'm trying to get to these papusas. And then when they finally came, they and my silly self I was like but I don't want to wait, because the way they smell, they smell so good and I'm sitting there burning my fingers. I was like but if I dip it in the sauce, the sauce is cool.
Speaker 2:So it'll cool my fingers off when I tell y'all I'm sitting there watching her eat, talking to my therapist. I'm like and I tell my therapist, I'm trying to pay attention to you, but the way she eating put this phone down it's just digging.
Speaker 1:They were, oh my gosh, they were so good. What's it's? I don't know what was in it, it's just I don't know.
Speaker 2:I don't know.
Speaker 1:Hey, I don't know it's just they're not paying me so I don't have to plug them.
Speaker 2:Bye, I just know the food is good it's a small business, so it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:I love it it off of Paris.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, no. How was your week?
Speaker 1:They don't need to know all that.
Speaker 2:How was your week?
Speaker 1:My week was okay. It was good. It was good Only because I I feel like my workout.
Speaker 2:Have been planned your life, my squat day.
Speaker 1:I mean it didn't just go like as planned, you know I feel like I wasn't. Thank you.
Speaker 2:Thank you. Thank you, that was awesome.
Speaker 1:I just felt like I wasn't making the mind muscle connection that I really wanted to, and I've been looking forward to squat day since last week. You know that was awesome.
Speaker 1:Thank you, but I could also feel that my energy level was not where it normally is. But I am proud of myself for like pushing through, because remember how I told you. It was like when I told you, it's moments like this where that's where the doubt kind of creeps in, because when I put the 260 on my back, I was like I was the way I was moving 260 last week was just like like I had 135 on my back and then I was moving the 260 and I was like what, what is happening?
Speaker 2:like you what's happening right now. You were literally living in the meme, like when your warm-up weight feels heavy. Like what?
Speaker 1:right, and that's quite literally what it was. I was like, wait, what is happening right now? I was like I'm not even at my 275 yet, like I'm not even through the whole warm. What is happening?
Speaker 2:because, I because. I because I told you about Wednesday when I went in there and I was in there, you know no compression sleeves on my knee, and I did my leg band and I said everything feels heavy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's just. It's so weird.
Speaker 2:I said how about relying on those sleeves that much, because everything feels heavy.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, I don't wear sleeves, but I mean that's because you got knees like Megan.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't necessarily say that, but I got knees like Anthony Davis, any moment they could break.
Speaker 1:Bye, maurice, mr Glass, Goodbye, goodbye. No, but that kind of shook me a little bit. But I know that going into like next week and the week after, especially the week after next week, that's going to be like I'm going to be. Yeah, I'll probably hit my three 15 the week after next, I'll probably hit my three 15, but I was just so surprised Cause I was like, why does, why is the two 60 feeling like this? Like I was repping out two 60. Like it was, like it was lightweight, it was nuts, just like nine days ago.
Speaker 2:What is happening?
Speaker 1:What is happening. So, um, aside from that, it was still a good workout. I pushed through um to help build my confidence just a little bit. Uh, body by Patino, don't be upset. But I added, I added like pressing there because I was like I need to, I need to feel like also that was extra. That was extra that leg press in there because I was like I need to, I need to feel like oh, so that was extra.
Speaker 2:That was extra. That was not on my program, my program after my after my squat was straight into leg extensions when I stopped by the leg press machine, first I thought that was weird, but when we went to the gym, then I went to the leg press. When we went to the gym Friday I said why she being here seven hours?
Speaker 1:What Well, no I don't always add. No, I only added, I only added. I only added on my squat day because I was just because I was feeling on my squat.
Speaker 2:Look here, look here, look here, look here, look here.
Speaker 1:I like being there. Look here.
Speaker 2:Even when you don't rep something, you wait five minutes to try again.
Speaker 1:No, I only do that. My longest rest periods are only on my big three lifts.
Speaker 2:Babe, okay, anyway, she be in there taking her time. When the workout says to rest and recover for the next set, my wife definitely rests and recovers.
Speaker 1:On my big lifts. Yes, my trainer said to take up to five minutes if I need to on my big lifts, but my accessory workouts, my rest periods, are only two minutes. Okay, babe. So I mean I take my two minutes if I need to. All right, babe. I mean you know, All right. Well, when you're pushing 600 to 700 pounds on a leg press, you would want to take your break too, to make sure that you're getting up there. Listen, I've already came for you and I've already conquered when I came for you. Don't come for me, because you know I can do 600.
Speaker 1:You can do 600. You barely pushed seven, but you didn't do the eight.
Speaker 2:Okay, here we go. What we?
Speaker 1:got today. If you want to get back into it.
Speaker 2:we can do that. Okay, don't come for me, because I didn't send for you what we got today. I didn't send for you, and this is why my week is miserable. I'm just playing Ba-dum-bum. Wow, just when you think you have a friend Hold on Side note, she probably a good man for me telling y'all this what I'm saying anyway.
Speaker 1:Who me? Yeah, oh my gosh, what is it? Don't be telling people my business.
Speaker 2:I don't know why you've been craving meat Like my wife, like today. She was like I want chicken wings. Oh, I was like just chicken wings. I was like just chicken wings. I don't need nothing but the wings, I just want chicken wings and then yesterday she was like I want a steak.
Speaker 1:I think it might be my iron again. I might need to check that out. I didn't wait, I just wanted meat. You want it raw or honestly, if you put enough salt and sauce on it, I probably would have eaten it raw.
Speaker 2:I'm not gonna lie because we went to our friend's house on Thursday. Shout out to the Raw Rivals.
Speaker 1:She was like do you want me to make you a plate? Do you want anything?
Speaker 2:They had barbecue, so they had grilled up some corny assada or some steak and chicken. The way my wife was eating that steak.
Speaker 1:I said this she was like you want me to make you a plate? And I was like um, I was like what do you have? And she was like telling me everything she has. And I was like, oh, you can just give me meat. And she was like just the meat. I was like just a plate full of meat, that's it.
Speaker 1:I don't need anything else and when she said that, I said yeah, I got some meat bye sure you're right because I'm going to get some chicken rings after this, right after, right after we finish your, your appetite lately has been diabolical. I I look here I honestly think it's the program that I'm on it probably is.
Speaker 2:I think it's all the ways people think I'll be playing, because when I say that my child eats like a full-grown man, right when my child look now, granted, my child is very, very active, exactly very active and I think that's what she practices like 10 hours. She does gymnastics like 10 hours a week. She has school, she, she has choir. Then she comes home and practices at home. Then she plays hard. She's very, very active and when that child is hungry she eats more than I do. We order her full adult meals.
Speaker 1:She don't even get the kids menu. No more, she ain't about that life. She's not about that life, and then don't let it be some meat on a bone. Oh yeah, she's not about that light, and then it don't. Don't let it be some meat on a bone.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, with the fat oh my god, with the fat, it drives she, it drives me, it drives me nuts. And I don't know why it does when she.
Speaker 1:Because the way she eats the fat, when she eats bacon, she eats the fat yeah, or if she's not in the mood for it, she'll just eat the fat, and then she starts uh, gazing over other people's plates and she's like looking at our plates like.
Speaker 2:Are you going to?
Speaker 1:eat that. So, like when we get pho, she gets the brisket with the fatty brisket and she just goes through the pieces of meat and she just picks off all the fat and then she puts the brisket there.
Speaker 2:I'm like girl, but I'm not mad at her because that's how they live.
Speaker 1:You remember, and I'm like girl, but I'm not mad at her because that's how they live. You remember that? And then the way she cracks open chicken bones yeah.
Speaker 2:And tries to eat the marrow. No, she eats the marrow and the gristle. Yeah, I see when is she from. She's from Alaska, Because that's life goes on.
Speaker 1:That's how they eat. That's how they eat. She's from Alaska. That's how she eat. When the first time I think she was maybe like four, the first time I seen her crack open the chicken bone like she ate the gristle. And then she cracked open the top and she was like looking in there and like her eyes was like oh no, babe, that's meat. And she started crunching.
Speaker 2:I said oh, absolutely, but they had the jaw strength at 40 to eat gristle.
Speaker 1:I was like, girl, you are going to choke on a shard.
Speaker 2:Like please don't do that. No, my baby is a meat eater and she she'll eat gristle, but god forbid she find a bone in a piece of salmon.
Speaker 1:You didn't take the bones out. She's so finicky. And then like she eats cheese, but she don't eat cheese no, she'll eat cheese by herself she eats cheese like melted into stuff but she won't eat like sliced cheese.
Speaker 2:But that's like onion. Yeah, she'll eat onion in pho, but she won't eat it in the world.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she'll eat it in pho, but she won't eat it like if I put it on her burger or something. She'll be like oh, oh, no, what's this?
Speaker 2:And then if you put cheese on there and she'll be like just don't eat sliced cheese, this child makes a meat sandwich, what we got today. She's so funny.
Speaker 1:Oh, so I had found this really kind of fun Q game and it's like would we or wouldn't we?
Speaker 2:I would. That's my answer to everything. I would. You only live once.
Speaker 1:Okay, so we're going to play, would we, or wouldn't we? Oh?
Speaker 2:I guess, a couple.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like couple's edition okay okay um, okay, this is just a question.
Speaker 2:You said uh, you know I don't be reading stuff for you I know you don't I just I don't like I'd be putting time, energy and effort into us. I'd be raw dog these episodes and then he see, that's how everything in my relationship is raw. Oh my gosh. Okay, why would I approach the podcast differently? Okay, you're getting an authentic experiential reaction. Yeah, you are. I'm never prepared. I come up and just say whatever I feel in the moment. I mean that's great.
Speaker 1:Good thing I'm securing myself.
Speaker 2:My feelings normally align with my morals and ideology, so Okay, First question Would we ever do it somewhere risky?
Speaker 1:just for the story I would I have, I think okay. I think what we're going to do is I'm going to say like one, two, three, and then we'll answer like yes or no to see if we're on the same page. Okay, okay.
Speaker 2:Yes, I'm on the same page with you Many times.
Speaker 1:Yes, I would Listen here. Okay, so we have done it in a place where it was super risky More than once, like where you could get arrested. Risky and we would probably have charges. You do know your mom, I do know, I do know Sorry. We have done it in a place where it was extremely risky, where we could have possibly gone to jail and possibly accumulated charges. And although it was kind of like thrilling and exciting, it's also like nerve-wracking because if you get caught, you're like it was good though.
Speaker 1:Like how do you explain that? Like, how do you have that conversation?
Speaker 2:You look at them and say you and me, baby, ain't nothing but mammals, okay as they put your ass in handcuffs hey, at least you'll go.
Speaker 1:Okay, as they put your ass in handcuffs, hey, at least you'll go to sleep. Good, when they put you in the cell, you'll sleep. Good, you might go to sleep, I'm not. I got to protect my booty. I don't think that happens in holding. I mean, I've never been to jail so honestly, I wouldn't know.
Speaker 2:Would we ever have a spicy bucket list On three One?
Speaker 1:two, three.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, that was an easy one. Of course, I got a couple of things.
Speaker 2:I was like you have a couple of things now I'm thinking about right now, In this moment.
Speaker 1:You don't have to think about them right now.
Speaker 2:Should we tell people?
Speaker 1:about them right now. You should we tell people? No, okay, I mean, you can tell them if you like, but I'm not gonna share that I'm not gonna share that just yet.
Speaker 1:Okay, um, would we ever send each other naughty pics or videos while at work? You already know how this is gonna go one, two, three, no, I would. No, you won't. No, we. We literally just had this discussion with our group of friends last night. Literally, we just had this discussion last night. He is my husband and I love him to death and I am all for doing whatever we need to do to keep that portion of our relationship nice and spicy. But I draw the line at photos. That's where I draw the line at photos. That's where I draw the line. I'm not sending him anything below like between my kneecaps and my neck that's nude to his phone. Not going to happen. Just crop your face off. Not going to happen. You don't have any tattoos. They're not going to.
Speaker 1:It's not going to happen. I'm not making no videos, I'm not taking no pictures. That stuff is forever. No, no, no. Now, how do you feel about that?
Speaker 2:I do it, I don't care. I mean I Facebook me.
Speaker 1:But you have tattoos, so you'll keep your tattoos out of it. I don't care. I don't care.
Speaker 2:Is this you doing? Yes, that's me. It was a good time.
Speaker 1:As someone who has witnessed someone who I know that is currently still going through, basically like a revenge porn type thing.
Speaker 2:But that we don't. Yeah, but it doesn't matter the way our relationship is set up.
Speaker 1:Oh, babe, but that's the point that I'm trying to make too. It's like you never think that you could dislike your person that much that you would go that far. But look how far he has taken things. Crazy word.
Speaker 2:Like no, Don't ever compare me.
Speaker 1:No, I'm not comparing you, I'm just saying it's enough for me.
Speaker 2:Here we go. It's a no for me, here we go. Would you ever forgive a emotional oh, would we ever forgive emotional cheating?
Speaker 1:On three One, two, three, no, no.
Speaker 2:I would. Oh See, I'm more forgiving with you, why?
Speaker 1:not, why not yeah?
Speaker 2:What if we're, what if we were just going through a really bad period and like we couldn't, like we, what else? On the same page, no matter what we tried to do, we couldn't communicate. And there was a lady that I, that I talked to. Maybe I didn't talk to her about us, but, like I, I started to enjoy talking to her, but I never crossed the line. We just had a conversation, never, never, never met with her in person or never along with her.
Speaker 1:You wouldn't forgive me for having a conversation. I mean, having a conversation is not cheating oh, no, no, no. That's not cheating. It's an emotional affair, didn't you? Yeah, emotional cheating.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay. Well, I mean she's pleasant to talk to, so I'm becoming fond of her because she's not giving me attitude and stink face and whatever other voice she has.
Speaker 1:So you're becoming emotionally attached to her in the same sense that you've become emotionally attached to me, because when I think of emotional attachment. I'm thinking of like the only thing that hasn't happened is that we haven't had the physical connection, but everything else is there, Like at any moment. At any moment, like if I'm this close off the ledge and you do or say something that pushes me over the ledge, I'm full force in it.
Speaker 2:That's what I'm talking about Emotional connection. But I would forgive you.
Speaker 1:If I had that type of connection to another man, as long as he doesn't insert you.
Speaker 2:Anyway, or kiss you with tongue.
Speaker 1:As we determine that I can kiss other men. No, you can't, as long as it's not with tongue, because he only considers it cheating if I use my tongue. No, but if I don't use my tongue it's not considered cheating. I don't know how y'all's relationship is set up, but my man said that I can kiss other men. I did not say that as long as Go ahead, I don't think.
Speaker 2:I think we should answer one at a time.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's fine.
Speaker 2:So go ahead.
Speaker 1:Let's see, would we ever hook up in a place? Oh, we already got. We already established that, we've done that. Let's see, would we ever have a secret code word for let's go home and get it on? Yeah, of course we need one now, of course, I'm going to say hey. Like how you texted me while we were all in the middle of a conversation last night I said, let's go.
Speaker 1:And you're, like you, ready to go Because he was sleepy to go Because he was sleepy. He was, like you, ready to go Because I'm kind of tired.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, steph, now if I say it, let's put the dog up.
Speaker 1:Bye, bye. We left at like one in the morning. The dog should have been put up.
Speaker 2:Hey, they don't know that. That's crazy. A different dog. Okay, go ahead 30 day.
Speaker 1:If I felt like it would be beneficial, I would be down for it. I would really have to understand, like, how it would be beneficial to go 30 days. Yeah, I wouldn't sign up for that.
Speaker 2:I might get you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm not signing up for that.
Speaker 2:I might get you two weeks If you can do two weeks, you can do another two weeks.
Speaker 1:It's like the treadmill If you can do 40 weeks.
Speaker 2:You can do another two weeks.
Speaker 1:Nah, it's like the treadmill If you can do 40 minutes, you can do an hour.
Speaker 2:Because after two weeks I got different kind of calluses on my hands. I done visited a couple of shops. Been surfing on Amazon by the mail Trying to find some safe replacements. Okay, Until you out of your spell.
Speaker 1:Would we ever talk openly about what we don't like during intimacy?
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, we do it all the time we do it all the time. All the time.
Speaker 1:And side note if you and your partner are not having conversations about what you like and what you don't like in the bedroom, I'm going to need y'all to grow up, grow up. I'm going to need y'all to grow up, grow up. I'm going to need y'all to grow up. Ain't nobody got time to just be protecting people's feelings and be miserable? Ain't nobody got time for that? Okay, so have the conversation, be open, be receptive, try not to be defensive.
Speaker 2:Don't be trying to hurt each other's feelings, but absolutely have conversations about your likes and your dislikes my thing is you gotta be open and honest from the start, because like, you don't want to build, like especially, you don't want to like have a man thinking like he putting in work.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know it's terrible he'd be like, hey, so can we just have a conversation Real quick. What's that comedian?
Speaker 2:I think it was. He was like You've been doing the same four moves For ten years.
Speaker 1:Haven't been moving Nothing, he said.
Speaker 2:He said If your girl ever Get into position Without you asking her, you ain't doing nothing.
Speaker 1:No, we already, we already know how this story ends, so let's just jump to the end so we can get it done. Okay, you go, babe.
Speaker 2:Uh, will we ever do a 24 hour truth or truth challenge? Truth or truth, yeah. So I think like we have to truthfully answer any questions we ask each other.
Speaker 1:Oh, sure I would be down for that. I mean, I don't know if you would be. I was just going to say I don't know if you would be because you know we talked about ego last week and yours can be a little, you know, depends on what day of the week it is.
Speaker 2:We all know how he has how his weeks work out.
Speaker 1:Hold on. Let me say this.
Speaker 2:Let me say this I think I would do it.
Speaker 1:I just wouldn't ask you a lot of questions. Okay, you would be conscious of the type of questions you ask because, out of fear of the responses that you would get, I got to protect me.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, I got to protect me. That's the key, fellas. No matter what, you still have to protect you. So only don't walk into the trap if you can't handle it. So I'm not going to ask you everything.
Speaker 1:I want to know because you don't really want to know the answer.
Speaker 2:Sometimes I don't need the answer, sometimes being oblivious to the truth is a good thing.
Speaker 1:After we just said, it's important to have open conversations.
Speaker 2:I'm talking about in certain situations. I'm talking about when you tell me about myself. I don't need you to tell me about myself, because my picture that I painted, if it's already good, I don't need you, you don't want me distorting it for you, I'll confirm it. Okay, I don't need you to okay, alright, fair enough.
Speaker 1:Would we ever try a game that involves dares in the bedroom?
Speaker 2:yeah, we would, absolutely we would.
Speaker 1:But you would cheat. I don't cheat, I strategize. There is a difference. Okay, I'm not a cheater in games, I am a strategizer.
Speaker 2:Would we ever be okay with separate vacations once a year? Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely. That sounds amazing. What Hold on? Wait a minute. We need to implement this. Hold on Because this sounds amazing.
Speaker 1:Because I wouldn't even go far.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't even go far, you'd probably be like overseas somewhere and I'd be like it's kind of dangerous, I need to move.
Speaker 1:Because I can't get to you. Yeah right, you'd be like I don't know, whittier, really whittier, who? What the heck is in whittier?
Speaker 2:nothing. Where are you going to whittier? Just somewhere where, where I'm close enough to get to you if you need me, but you're not gonna. But it's far enough where you're not gonna.
Speaker 1:Just pop up oh that's it I would go to like oregon, nova scotia. I honestly I can't.
Speaker 2:Washington, I know I Russia, washington, I know. I see I probably would just do a yearly trip to San Diego by yourself and I would just lay in bed, door dash and watch anime.
Speaker 1:Yes, that just sounds like that's it so good, like I just want to be. I just want to be somewhere where it's a little gloomy.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, On a balcony that overlooks water and that I can have my blanket and a nice cup of tea and a good book, or I can crochet listening to my podcast. Oh my gosh, that just sounds so good right now, like listening to a podcast while I'm crocheting outside with my blanket on. Okay, I know, sometimes I can probably sound like that, probably sounded like like how old is she, but these are the things that I enjoy, guys I'm an old soul and she's old I like, I like to crochet and lift weights.
Speaker 1:I like to crochet and lift weights. Um, let's see, um, would we ever be okay with one of us having a close friendship with an ex? No no, no, no, what you need to be close like friends, amicable, yeah, that's fine, but like close friendship. What are we talking? Like going to the movies or something? That just reminded me, that, just reminded me. That just reminded me of that time. Remember when you went out with your friend to go Valentine's Day shopping for me.
Speaker 2:But then you guys like went to lunch.
Speaker 1:You went and saw a movie. And then when you came home and he's like telling me all this, he was like, oh, we went to the movies today, and then we went to have lunch at such and such and the only thing I heard was so you took her out on a date.
Speaker 2:I didn't pay for anything and he was like that's what he said.
Speaker 1:He was like I didn't pay for anything. He was like we just went together and I was like, yeah, but that's a date. And he was like it's not, she's my friend and I was like, yeah, I'm not cool with that sat down, had a meal and then came home with a gift both of which were free. Yeah, but I do understand what you're saying.
Speaker 2:Would we ever sleep in separate beds for a long term for better sleep?
Speaker 1:yes, we have and I was gonna say, yeah, there was like what, like maybe what was like six months, eight months a year or something like that, where you slept in your office.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then Maybe it was like six months, eight months a year or something like that, where you slept in your office, yeah, and then. But then you was like I'm getting tired and I have my husband, yeah, and I was like it was great.
Speaker 1:But then again I was like, uh, but I was like this is the only way I'm actually getting quality sleep Both of us. That was the only way we were both actually getting quality sleep.
Speaker 2:And that's because your daughter kept your daughter. I said look she, I cannot sleep with her kicking me, beat me all night and I have to go to work. This is not working for me.
Speaker 1:I gotta go I gotta, I gotta. I said so I'm gonna sleep in here so I can get sleep now.
Speaker 2:On the weekends I would sleep in there, but during the weekend I had to go to work, I would sleep in my office yeah because I, I just couldn't do it.
Speaker 1:I couldn't do it um, let's see um, um, let's see Um. Okay, would we ever admit who the better kisser is?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm the better kisser Um it's facts, um, okay.
Speaker 1:Um All right, um Um Interesting that you think that. Okay, okay. It is my turn, but go ahead, go ahead, no, go ahead, you go ahead.
Speaker 2:Will we ever admit if one of us is not fully satisfied sexually?
Speaker 1:Yes, yes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we have yeah.
Speaker 1:We have, I was like, but I'm willing to let you try again okay, okay, I was like I'm willing to let you try again don't let my sister hide you up, I'm willing to let you try again um, would we ever admit to our friends if we were going through a rough patch?
Speaker 2:ain't nothing, got that business.
Speaker 1:Well, there ain't no horror.
Speaker 2:What if it's like an older couple friend, nah, Okay, nah, because I feel like I have the type of wife where people they plotting on you.
Speaker 1:I doubt, very doubtful, yeah, they want you Very doubtful, they want you Very doubtful. Because I want you Rawr. That does not mean, okay, I can't, let's do it. Let's do a couple more so I can get to my chicken wings. It's my turn Go ahead?
Speaker 2:Will we ever stay together, even if one of us lost romantic feelings? Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:Why was I just looking at that one? Okay, now say that again. Will we ever stay together, even if one of us lost romantic feelings. So I'm I feel like it's like a, a tour, but I would say talk to me, bishop, for me, for shut up for me. I was for me. I would say, yes, okay, only because if I lost my view, awesome like if I, if I lost romantic feelings you would stay with me I would would stay with you. Oh, okay, as I processed through what was happening?
Speaker 2:Because am.
Speaker 1:I losing romantic feelings because of something we're going through.
Speaker 2:Or is it you?
Speaker 1:Or is it like, or am I genuinely like?
Speaker 2:like I genuinely don't want you no more Disgusted.
Speaker 1:Like I'm genuinely like oh, we can be friends for the rest of our lives. You know like I would have to process that. Okay, friends for the rest of our lives. You know Like I would have to process that, but I would stay until, like I could come up with definitively like this is what's happening.
Speaker 2:You want my answer. Sure, if we locked in, ain't no switching up.
Speaker 1:So yeah, you would stay too.
Speaker 2:We would just be roommates.
Speaker 1:We just gonna have to work it out.
Speaker 2:We're gonna have to work it. We have to hey.
Speaker 1:Hey, no, take backs.
Speaker 2:No, take backs. Hey, I know that we're not really feeling each other.
Speaker 1:But there's no take backs.
Speaker 2:But I have these sexual needs, let's just get it done. Let's just get it done and then we can go back to our rooms, that's it.
Speaker 1:I don't know what you have planned tonight, but if you could squeeze me in at 540.
Speaker 2:And, if you want, I'll feed you after we can go out, see, and that's how you rebuild again.
Speaker 1:So then let's still be in it, see Processing.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's how you process. Okay, let's see. Would we ever reveal our true first impressions of each other?
Speaker 2:You don't mind, shea? Look at that ass.
Speaker 1:I was like why does he have so much facial hair? It's so unattractive cause.
Speaker 2:I was a man. I was a man. When you met me, you were like 12 or 13.
Speaker 1:I was a man and it was so not my thing.
Speaker 2:I was a man.
Speaker 1:I was like, oh my gosh, he has so much facial hair. This is not.
Speaker 2:I was a man this is not attractive.
Speaker 1:And then I got to high school and I was like, okay, okay, you know, would we ever go to bed angry? Not attractive. And then I got to high school and I was like, okay.
Speaker 2:Okay, you know.
Speaker 1:Would we ever go to? Bed angry we have, I don't recommend it and we try not to, but yes we have Not angry. I wouldn't say angry, no.
Speaker 2:I would say, sometimes I've been angry.
Speaker 1:Okay Well, I wouldn't say I've been like angry, but like disliking you angry.
Speaker 2:Okay Well, I wouldn't say I've been like angry but like disliking you strongly.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right, I have gone to bed disliking you very strongly. Yes, I have, okay, but I also checked to see if he's still breathing in the middle of the night.
Speaker 2:You ain't got to check. Okay, let's see One more One more.
Speaker 1:Uh check, okay, let's see. One more, one more. Let's see. Would we ever sacrifice our dream for the other person's success? I have, I have.
Speaker 2:D-May.
Speaker 1:I don't even think that's how you say it. Maurice, go ahead and tell me what. I don't even think that's how you say it, maurice, go ahead and tell me.
Speaker 2:What Tell me? What have you sacrificed for my dream?
Speaker 1:I have sacrificed.
Speaker 2:What Tell me?
Speaker 1:I have sacrificed myself, I have sacrificed my career, for yours Are you talking about staying at home?
Speaker 2:Are you talking about being staying at home, mom? Oh yeah, If you want to go back to the workforce, go Go.
Speaker 1:What have you sacrificed for my success?
Speaker 2:My sanity.
Speaker 1:Goodbye.
Speaker 2:My health.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, all the things that I, my peace, all the things that I say I've sacrificed To lift you up To be your handle, you stay home for your child. I stay home for my family.
Speaker 2:You stay home for your child.
Speaker 1:And to stay in the gym for four hours a day Teasing.
Speaker 2:Hold on what I go last. Okay, go ahead. You're not getting another question to me. I'm sorry. Would we ever admit if we felt attraction to someone else, even if it was just once? Yes, I'm gonna take it regardless. Yeah, I got a list. Yeah, you want names? Sure how long? How long we got the tape is running. Okay, kiki.
Speaker 1:Parvin. Okay, oh, we're talking celebrities and we're talking about real people.
Speaker 2:I mean, those are real people. How long we?
Speaker 1:got, the tape is running. Okay, kiki Palmer. Okay, oh, we're talking celebrities and we're talking about real people. I mean, those are real people but I'm talking about like day-to-day, in our real lives people. Oh, you're talking about celebrities, oh, okay.
Speaker 2:Got a list. I don't want to know your list because it's going to be dumb.
Speaker 1:I just wanted to know you said celebrities and like people we could actually get access to, or two different things.
Speaker 2:I feel like I could pull a Kiki ball.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right.
Speaker 2:My childhood crush is still fine, chiropractor Still fine.
Speaker 1:My childhood crush is still fine too. Who Herpes boy? First of all, all, cut it out, cut it out. That's why he was burning. Okay, now we're gonna be moving on into.
Speaker 2:We're gonna be moving on I gotta ask you a question. So is there someone you have access to that you feel attractive to?
Speaker 1:now yeah, besides hefty no listen, I'm not attracted to hefty, just like his body type okay, sure but like his face card. But I don't know how he cleans up though, because I only see him at the gym.
Speaker 2:But like you see him often, don't you? I don't yeah he's.
Speaker 1:He works out when you work out. She sees him often, I don't. He works out when you work out. She sees him often I don't and I'm not like attracted attracted to him Go ahead and lie. I mean, it's the nine inch seam shorts.
Speaker 2:Oh, for me, oh, it's the shorts.
Speaker 1:Huh, it's the shorts, so you want someone to dress like a whore.
Speaker 2:I tried to get my husband in seven inches and nine inches Christian values, what?
Speaker 1:I tried to get him in seven inches and nine inches and he's like not having it. Pause, pause, pause. What oh shorts? Sorry, pause, sorry. Nine inch seam shorts.
Speaker 2:No, ditty Pause.
Speaker 1:We're going to go ahead and move into our two cents.
Speaker 2:Our two cents.
Speaker 1:Okay, ready. No, am I the asshole for breaking up with my girlfriend after she insisted I pay for her sister's student loans?
Speaker 2:Wait, what Hold on?
Speaker 1:Okay, okay. So I've been dating my girlfriend for about two years. A few months ago, I got really lucky on a stake in one about 80K Not life-changing money, but definitely a nice chunk of change, I'll take it. My girlfriend has been struggling with her student loans about 35K so I decided to help her out and I paid them off completely.
Speaker 2:That was nice.
Speaker 1:She was super grateful at first, crying and thanking me for weeks. Fast forward to last week, her sister, who's also dealing with student loans about $42,000 worth. My girlfriend started hinting that since I helped her, that I should also help her sister.
Speaker 2:Not at all.
Speaker 1:I laughed it off at first, thinking she was just joking, but she wasn't. She was serious. She got increasingly pushy about it, saying things like you still have plenty left, and it's selfish to help me and not help my sister, and my family also needs help. I explained that while I care about her family, I'm not responsible for her sister's loans. I already did something generous that most boyfriends wouldn't even do, and her sister's finances are not my responsibility.
Speaker 1:This turned into a massive fight where she called me selfish and said that I was greedy. She literally said what's the point of having money if you don't help other people with it? She then gave me an ultimatum either pay her sister's loans or she would reconsider our relationship. I broke up with her on the spot. Now she's blowing up my phone saying that I overreacted and that her family thinks that I'm an asshole. So am I an asshole for refusing to pay her sister's student loans and then ending the relationship over it? No, no, absolutely not. No, you know, audacity has been at an all-time high recently, and I don't know if it's something in the air or what.
Speaker 2:This is why oh, let me talk to the man right now. This is why, fellas, stop giving these women husband treatment. I wouldn't have gave that dog 10 cents.
Speaker 1:It's his girlfriend. She is not a dog. Relax, I didn't want to call her that, relax.
Speaker 2:That's why I said dog.
Speaker 1:Bye.
Speaker 2:Relax, I would have had her earn it Now. Look here.
Speaker 1:Earn it yeah earn it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, transactional, life is transactional, just deal with it. It's the truth. It's a hard truth Life transactional. Our marriage is very transactional.
Speaker 1:It is transactional. I'm pretty sure she's been giving him ass, so he paid off her student loan.
Speaker 2:If the sister want her student loan, she gotta come and drop that ass off.
Speaker 1:That's crazy work. How you gonna say your sister gotta come over here and drop some ass off if she want me to drop $42,000?.
Speaker 2:Her sister said I'm gonna buy Nate. He said well, you know what you got to do. I'll pay you when I'm done. Huh, Not a thing. I'll pay you when I'm done, not a thing. Sorry, you're not that. I would have left for two. First of all, stop Look here. Do not give ultimatums if you not bought that ultimatum life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if you're really not going gonna be up to it, because she really thought she ate when she gave him the ultimatum he was like okay, bye. He was like all right, peace. She was like, wait, that's it.
Speaker 2:So you literally just you literally lost someone who showed you that they cared.
Speaker 1:They cared yeah so much that they got you out of debt without even having a full commitment to you look here.
Speaker 2:That's why you don't get these holes nothing but the inches. Nothing but the inches.
Speaker 1:Bye yeah, you're definitely not the asshole, sir.
Speaker 1:If anything you were like you're being a good boyfriend I agree um, okay, am I the asshole for expecting my husband to be home every night that we have his kids, his stepkids, at at home? My husband has two kids from his previous marriage, both boys, 12 and 14. They're sweet kids, but they're teenage boys. They're wild and they tend to get into fights. They're messy and listening is not their best life skill at this stage of brain development. So there's that I don't have biological children of my own. I met these kids when we started dating about four years ago and we've all lived together for about two and a half years. Long story short, we moved last summer about 60 miles from our old home. The move was because the boy's biological mom got remarried to a guy who lived in a different part of the state. To avoid the kids bearing the brunt of the commute, we agreed to move. My husband still commutes to work and I work from home full time. We have 50-50 custody of the kids During the school year. We never have the kids on Monday or Tuesday nights. My husband enjoys playing his low stakes bar poker games, so he generally does that on Monday and Tuesdays. It's a very long drive to the venue where he plays so he stays with friends near our old house on those nights and doesn't come home. Okay, not my favorite arrangement, but I go out of my way to ensure he feels like he has his own autonomy to enjoy his hobbies, something he definitely didn't have in his first marriage. We know about that one. Yeah, we do. The issue has come up with regards to our summer custody schedule, which switches to one week on and one week off from the normal school schedule. It recently came out in conversation that he expected to still pay play his poker game on Tuesday nights during the summer and that he was fully planning on staying with friends and not coming home those nights. It has always been our understanding and agreement that he would be home any night. We have the boys here. We brought this up. When I brought this up, he told me he didn't think it was a big deal to would be home any night. We have the boys here. We brought this up. When I brought this up, he told me he didn't think it was a big deal to not be home one night a week and not to expect me to handle everything on those nights.
Speaker 1:I'm super uncomfortable with being here with the boys alone. They make me anxious. I hate when they fight and I don't think it's my place as a stepmother to discipline them. If they were just kids who read books and sat in silence all night, I might feel differently, but there's an always greater than 0% chance that someone is literally throwing punches and I have no interest in being solely in charge of that situation. I already am the default parent for laundry, school pickup, scheduling meals and primary caretaker anytime during the school break.
Speaker 1:Since I work from home, I have clearly communicated this to my husband how I feel about being here alone with them, so he is aware Beyond how it impacts me. I don't think it's a great example for the kids either. It's not like my husband is on a work trip. It's like, hey, dad, would you rather play poker than to be here with me? I just feel like part of being a parent is you have to plan your life around your kids. My husband already has it easier than most because of the joint custody and the fact that I am happy to sacrifice some of the few days we have we would have alone for the two of us so that he can pursue his hobbies To serve it to me straight. Am I the asshole here? My husband is making me feel like I am, but I just feel like this is making me a responsible. This is making me responsible and this is making me responsible and asking me to set a very legitimate boundary. Not at all. I don't think you're the asshole, no, no.
Speaker 2:First of, all them, his kids.
Speaker 1:And he and, like she said, he does have it better than most because you already slid 50-50. And then now you putting them off onto me so you can enjoy your hobbies.
Speaker 2:And then here's my question Don't you have friends in your old town? So why you just can't take the boys with you in the town with you and they can just be at a friend's house while you play poker?
Speaker 1:and then come back to Okay, but that's crazy too, Like that's crazy too. But here's my thing.
Speaker 2:If he still wants to play, yeah, make it. Make it happen, make it happen, make it work, make it work. Don't put all the burden on your wife to take care of kids.
Speaker 1:That's not hers.
Speaker 2:And, like she said, she doesn't have biological children.
Speaker 1:So I'm sure she loves them, I'm sure she loves them, but it's it's. It's a little different, because them is not her children. She didn't, she didn't like raise them from birth all the way up to where they are now and, like she said, they're teenage boys, speak Bishop, so they're messy. Speak Bishop, they fighting all the time. They got a lot going on. Speak Bishop so yeah, you are not the asshole boo Speak Bishop. I would be like you, either going to have to be home or maybe they should just go back.
Speaker 2:You need to be with your daddy To their mom.
Speaker 1:I don't know what to tell you. I mean that's what they do. Ask the mom hey, I mean they'll be driving soon.
Speaker 2:How about you ask the mom hey, instead of doing week on, week off, how about you take the boys from Friday to Tuesday?
Speaker 1:But what if that doesn't work? No, that don't work.
Speaker 2:Damn, I'm trying to figure it out.
Speaker 1:Damn. The only way it works is if his ass is home.
Speaker 2:But my thing is like for two and a half three months you can miss the poker games.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's probably his thing, Like I get it.
Speaker 2:But Because she's already there with them all day, exactly Because she works from home.
Speaker 1:Well, and like she says, she's the default parent, so she's doing pickup, drop off, laundry, cleaning, cooking. Oh, she does laundry, don't come from. I did not send for you. I didn't send for you. I didn't send for you.
Speaker 2:I didn't say you don't do laundry.
Speaker 1:I just said she does laundry, Okay. So when you end up in fetal position and crying tonight like Wouldn't be the first time. But you do it to yourself, so Do it to me, do it you do it to yourself, so do it to me.
Speaker 1:Do it you do it to yourself. Anywho, this has been another episode of the life after I do podcast. If you're not doing so already, you can go ahead and follow us on Instagram, facebook, youtube, tick tock, all of the above. You can also write into us at lifeafteridoopodcastgmailcom. We appreciate all the new followers that we've recently come in contact with. We appreciate all the love, all the sharing. We appreciate all the interaction on our social media that you guys have been showing us these past few weeks. We really, really really appreciate it. Media that you guys have been showing us these past few weeks we really, really really appreciate it. We love you guys so much. Like love you down bad. We do that's what we do, but yeah.
Speaker 1:So if you're not doing so already, don't forget to like, comment, share the content, subscribe guys, write in to us. We would love to hear from you, and until then, you get a new episode every Wednesday.
Speaker 2:You guys can send us care packages.
Speaker 1:We'll take all that. We'll see you next Wednesday. Peace booskies.
