Life After I Do Podcast
Marriage and relationships can be tough. You may feel like you’re the only one struggling but you’re not. Life After I do is a weekly podcast where Morice and Kynesha, a black married millennial couple, share their experiences and advice on everything from kids and family to intimacy and connection. Noting is off limits.
In their 21 years together and 7 years of marriage, Morice and Kynesha have learned a lot about what it takes to make a relationship work. They know the importance of communication, trust and commitment. They also know it’s okay to not have it all figured out.
Join them every Wednesday as they talk about their own journey of “Life After I do”.
Life After I Do Podcast
Would You?
This week on the LAID, we’re diving into a fun and thought-provoking game of Would You Rather: Marriage Edition! Join us as we tackle hilarious, tricky, and sometimes deep relationship scenarios. From tough choices to laugh-out-loud moments, we’re putting our marriage instincts to the test. Sit back, relax, and play along as we navigate the mystery situations of Would You Rather!
And he was honest again by coming back and saying, hey, so I went out there, right, and they wasn't hitting like you. And then I realized I'm actually in love with you, right, and that's why they're not hitting like.
Speaker 2:I thought they would, and after that he's going to have the nerve to sing with this love.
Speaker 1:Nigga, you took the love away. Hey, everybody, and welcome back to another episode of the life. After I do podcast, you're here with me today, your host, nisha g, and I'm accompanied by my husband, molito her husband mori mori, that's what our neighbor calls him. Like he and he knows that his name is maurice. Like he'll come, he'll knock on the door.
Speaker 2:He'll be like. He can't say is maurie here? He can't say oh, he can't say no he thinks my name is maurie and because he's 70 I let it go nah, he knows your name is maurice.
Speaker 1:Because I say I say your name all the time he'd be like is maurie here and I'd be like maurice is upstairs. But but yeah, he's a great neighbor and we do. I guess you kind of let it slide.
Speaker 2:I mean I always just reiterate your name, but I love.
Speaker 1:Mario. I love Mario. He's a great neighbor.
Speaker 2:Mario and Mrs Mario.
Speaker 1:Yes, that's what Phoenix calls his wife. Phoenix, when she sees his wife, she goes. Good morning Mrs Mario. Good morning Mrs Mario. Hey Boos sees his wife, she goes. Good morning mrs mario. Good morning mrs mario. Hey buskies. Hi, hi, how you doing? Um, I'm good. How was your week? My week was how?
Speaker 2:was my week.
Speaker 1:My week was actually pretty good, I thought you were gonna say week.
Speaker 2:You thought my week was weak, yeah no, because you was being weak in the gym today.
Speaker 1:Okay, I was not. I literally have a bum shoulder, elbow, wrist. You got a bum left side. I do. I have legitimate a bum left side which is diabolical because it used to be my weak side. Now it's stronger than my right side and now it's injured, diabolical.
Speaker 2:Diabolical.
Speaker 1:Diabolical, but I had a good week Baby girl had a competition and you know it did not pan out as we had thought. But she did walk away with some hardware, so that was good. She did walk away with a medal, so that was good.
Speaker 2:She was happy about that because she was on the verge of tears before they called her name. She really was Her. She was happy about that because she was on the verge of tears before they called her name.
Speaker 1:She really was. Her eyes were getting all pink. She was holding them back. She was holding them back and I kept reminding her. I was like we're not going to do that here. I was like don't you let out a tear in front of all these people, girl. I said we're going to do that when we get to the car you relax.
Speaker 2:Because we're not going to have. I said because, once the floodgates open.
Speaker 1:She can't hold herself. So I was like I said you're good. I was like you're good. I was holding her, I was rubbing her back and trying to console her. Her eyes was getting all watery and all pink and then they called her name for a floor and she jetted out of my lap and she went up there and got her medal and came back to me and looked at me, like now what I was like. Ma'am, calm down, relax.
Speaker 2:When they called her name, I said when they called her name, I said thank God.
Speaker 1:We were going to leave, remember, because I wanted to leave. I was like she's not going to place, let's just go.
Speaker 2:And I was like oh, thank god, that's okay, she gonna walk away with something.
Speaker 1:Damn, that sounds terrible. As a parent, huh and I was like, but I mean honestly, she did not perform to the best of her ability.
Speaker 2:And I do believe, and I know she knows, that and I do believe it was because it was so late at night I think that might have had something to do with it because she started to get a little sleepy right before we had to go in and and.
Speaker 1:Plus she was playing for like that whole hour before we got there, because we got down there like two hours early.
Speaker 2:Which I thought it was diabolical for them to put her age group as the last group of the night. These kids, they ask them if they care. They bad time at seven and you want them to go perform at seven. Ask them. They don't, they care, they don't.
Speaker 1:They do not. But yeah, other than that it ended up being A really good week. You know, just the same old, same old School, gym, gym with her, you know, but it was a good week, I can't complain. How was your week?
Speaker 2:Man.
Speaker 1:Again. My week was just here we go.
Speaker 2:It was. It was just a. It was just a roller coaster, you know. It was just. It was up and down, down and up, left and right, you know.
Speaker 1:No, I don't. Can you elaborate?
Speaker 2:I'm wrapping my head around this concept of going back to normal life. Oh, our regularly scheduled programming, and there's some things that I look forward to about going back to normal life oh, our regularly scheduled programming and there's some things that I look forward to about going back to normal life the fact that I'm going to do less around here. I look forward to that. Yeah, I look forward to that.
Speaker 1:Less Less. Did you start doing more at some?
Speaker 2:point. Okay, you know what?
Speaker 1:I'm so lost. Okay, I'm so lost.
Speaker 2:Alright, wait a minute. Know, you know, you know I've been cooking and I've been doing my own laundry and I've been helping you with the kitchen and stuff it's not help, you live here sir helping, but you know, so when I go back I ain't gotta do none of that stuff, right?
Speaker 1:and then I. I get my mornings back to myself. It don't matter You're going to spend four of those hours in the gym.
Speaker 2:I do be at the gym all damn day, all day, and now, with me not there to tell you let's go you're going to run amok.
Speaker 1:I ain't got no breaks now You're going to run amok I can stay in there until it's time to get it from school. You're going to be like well, I might as well get my steps while I'm here. Might as well finish my steps. Might as well finish recovery twice. Might as well do the sauna Hell. I might even take a swim?
Speaker 2:That I doubt, Highly doubt. But I mean, overall, my week was cool. You know, I'm still yelling go birds.
Speaker 1:Uh-huh.
Speaker 2:I don't know what these Lakers are doing.
Speaker 1:I don't even pay attention. You fall asleep on most games.
Speaker 2:I'm just trying to be a better person. You know, that's it. It's hard out here for me. It's hard out here.
Speaker 1:What's so difficult?
Speaker 2:It's just hard.
Speaker 1:Just let me know so I can be there for you, so I can be a support system for you. I don't think it can support me in the way I need you to, because most of my blocks are mental. Oh, I mean, I try to support you the best that I can, and then you also have a therapist, so yeah, shout out to Dr Williams.
Speaker 2:So I'm like my therapist is a black woman. They don't know that, huh.
Speaker 1:I mean you just told them, so I guess you wanted them to know.
Speaker 2:I guess they know now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, told them so I guess you wanted them to know. I guess they don't know. Yeah, uh, you know.
Speaker 2:So just trying to mentally prepare yourself to get back to into the, the, into the thick of it, and it's not even really the thick of it, it's just comparing myself, preparing myself to go deal with other folks I mean, but you don't really deal with a lot of people. You always say that yourself that's one of the perks that you like about your job.
Speaker 1:What I'm telling you is my first couple days back oh, because you have to like, do training and stuff like all the stuff you missed.
Speaker 2:I gotta deal with some people. Yeah, you're gonna be in people's faces for the first week now, luckily to me, for me, you know, I'm only gonna probably work seven days. The first two weeks I'm back, okay, you? Know, because I can't work sund, okay, you know. Because I can't work Sundays? Because my daughter Right. And I can't work Fridays because I got therapy.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:So I mean it's going to be my first Monday might be a six-hour day.
Speaker 1:Oh, that might be nice.
Speaker 2:You know it will be.
Speaker 1:Wait six hours. What time do you go in?
Speaker 2:I'll be out by the time she got out of school, so we'll be back together again. So that might be, but it is what it is. You know, it's just.
Speaker 1:Are you at least a little excited about going back? Oh damn, I'm excited about my paychecks.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, that's it. I'm going to keep it a bean. Diabolical, I'm going to keep it a bean. The only excitement I feel is getting these normal paychecks Because this disability pay.
Speaker 1:That ain't it. That ain't it. This budget is a.
Speaker 2:It ain't it. I'm tired of it.
Speaker 1:You know how long it was. I had to budget. I mean you budget.
Speaker 2:But like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Jesus Is this. Had to budget. I mean you budget, but like this, yeah, yeah, jesus, is this jesus? I can't even act my way. Well, but just be grateful that I'm out here and I can't even act my wage goodbye, goodbye.
Speaker 2:I had to act below. I'm out here acting like I'm a wage worker bye, maurice, stop, I can't even act my way.
Speaker 1:Goodbye, you don't act. Your wage, even when you're at work, cut it out.
Speaker 2:Oh, I do.
Speaker 1:Cut it out, I do Well, I mean, we just have to cherish these last few days.
Speaker 2:I just look at it as, in the words of the great Stutter McFly, I'm about to elevate.
Speaker 1:That's so diabolical that every time I listened to that song. So there's this song that I have on my playlist that I got from my husband and the song is called Elevate and, um, his other podcast mate, shout out to Studda McFly. He's he has a verse on the song and so when I'm in the gym I'm listening to it and every time that part comes on I'm like damn, this really sounds like it could be. It could be Andy, that's so crazy. And so on the way to the gym today he was playing the song on uh in the car and I was like, oh, I meant to tell you the verse, the last verse that's on this song. It sounds like it could be Andy. I was like that's so crazy. And he was like hynesia, it is. And I was like wait, what I was like I said hold on it is. He was like yes that is him.
Speaker 2:I said oh, don't be knocking my boy no, I didn't know.
Speaker 1:I didn't know it sounded like him because I know I know his style. That's why, when I first heard it, I was like damn he, this guy really has a close likeness to to andy. That's crazy, the one and only. And then, when you told me it was actually him, I was like, well, it makes sense, because I hear his.
Speaker 2:The one and only McFly yeah instead of McFly.
Speaker 1:But yeah, well, I mean, you know, babe, I'm going to miss you when you go back to work.
Speaker 2:Highly doubtful.
Speaker 1:My mornings will not be the same.
Speaker 2:Look here she can't wait till us to leave so she can put on her true crime wait a minute, okay, speaking of true crime, no hold on. She gonna put on her true, this is gonna be her first Monday here by herself.
Speaker 1:She gonna drop me off wait a minute, wait a minute, hold on, nah. Nah, drop me off, she gonna drop minute my bad.
Speaker 2:Wait a minute, hold on. No, not drop me off. She's going to drop my daughter off. She's going to go to the gym. Yep, she's going to get home about 12 o'clock.
Speaker 1:After the gym, I'm going to go to.
Speaker 2:Starbucks. As I said, you're going to get home about 12 o'clock, right From 12 until the time she got to get my daughter true crime and she gonna, and she gonna start cleaning. That's that's. That's it, because she ain't got to get my daughter to 3 30 on monday, so she gonna well, 3, 2, 3, 15 yeah so she gonna, she gonna, for three hours.
Speaker 1:She gonna be in here on some mrs clean and it's just gonna be like it's gonna feel my heart. It's, let me tell you.
Speaker 2:And then and then hold on. Let me come on tell me what wrong so then. So then after she did, she gonna go get my daughter. Then she gonna come home. She might finish up a little cleaning if she didn't finish exactly or if it's not to the point where she's ready to leave it for the next day. She's gonna finish that and then around five she's say let me get some dinner for this man. So when I come home around 7, dinner's going to be ready.
Speaker 2:We're going to have dinner, the house will be clean and on top of that, I'm going to go back to having a clean wife.
Speaker 1:A clean wife. What do you mean? I'm always clean. What are you talking about?
Speaker 2:I'm not saying you dirty, but the highlight of my evening is I know that you always shower if I come home.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:So when I come in I'm like fresh, fresh.
Speaker 1:Diabolical, diabolical.
Speaker 2:Fresh.
Speaker 1:And you be taking for granted the little things I do. I try to make sure the house is straight. She's doing what she needs to. Your meal is already made. I'm ready and prepared for you. I'm ready. I have to ready and prepare my mind so that I can be a good support system for my husband.
Speaker 1:when he comes home after dealing with the world, I try to be there for him and create this soft space for him to just come home transition, take his shower, he gets his food and then like we lay down and I rub his head and I ask him about his day he never tells me about his day, but I ask him anyways, but he never tells me about it.
Speaker 2:See, like those are little things I think you'd be taking for granted but the thing is, the more I think about it, the more like you probably won't have to make me dinner. No, it's going to be prepped.
Speaker 1:It's going to be meal prepped.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm most likely going to take lunch and dinner to work and then just come home and shower and lay my ass down.
Speaker 1:But I'll have a protein cheesecake waiting for you. I'm going to eat able to. No, I am. I am gonna miss you, but I'm also excited.
Speaker 1:It sounds crazy and I don't know when this happened and I don't know at what part in age of adulthood that we transition to being excited for shit like appliances and cleaning the house in peace, and I'm like I really don't know when that happened, but it just does something for me when I can be in the house by myself with my airpods in my true crime and murder plan in my oh no it's not the same it's not the same it's not.
Speaker 1:You know. What I think it is too is because I wear headphones so much. I feel as though my I don't know if it's like impairing my hearing over time, but I feel like things need to be in my ear.
Speaker 2:So what do you? What did you? What do you do if someone comes in? Do you set the alarm?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do. I make sure the top and bottom locks are locked, and I'm not joking.
Speaker 2:I know you're not. I make sure the top and bottom locks are uh locked. I set the alarm and I put the the um the rods in the windows.
Speaker 1:Oh wow you. You being here, though, because I wouldn't be able to hear anybody right, I would. I really wouldn't be able to hear anybody.
Speaker 2:But I understand, that's how I, that's kind of how I feel like when I actually like get in the garage and start cleaning stuff like okay, because you get like in your own groove or like how, how, like today I was standing outside and I was like, okay, it's about to be March, so it's time to go get this grass seed and time to reseed and go ahead and do my ground softener get the soil ready.
Speaker 1:Like when did this happen?
Speaker 2:When did it happen? And I was looking at it. I was looking at the grass getting excited. I said I'm going to go to Home.
Speaker 1:Depot. This is diabolical. I'm going to go to Home Depot.
Speaker 2:I'm going to go Home Depot, I'm going to order. I'm probably going to order off Amazon, because the grass seed I want you can't really get at Home Depot.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That merry-go-round. You can't get it at Home Depot, so I was like yeah See, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't know when the transition happened because, like, even when the so, he's, he's, we're reorganizing the garage and we want to make it into like a little mini home gym and we want to make it into like a little mini home gym.
Speaker 1:So he's like he's cleared out enough space that once we get rid of like one big item in there that we could probably transition all of her gymnastics equipment back to the garage. And then I was getting excited because I was like I get my formal living room back and I was like, oh my gosh, we need to buy new bookshelves. I can redecorate.
Speaker 2:I got a new rug I want to roll out. It's a lot what we got today.
Speaker 1:Bliskey these people are tired of hearing about you, really Ain't nobody hearing about me. Today I wanted to pick your brain in a friendly fun game of Would you Rather?
Speaker 2:If I would rather sleep.
Speaker 1:You suck. So we're going to play, would you? Okay, you're gross. We're gonna play um a friendly game of. Would you rather? Couple's edition.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay, all right, all right, ready are we just going down this list here?
Speaker 1:we're gonna, we're gonna go. I've got some. I've got some questions of would you rather okay?
Speaker 2:are mine different?
Speaker 1:no, okay, okay, okay, ready, yeah, all right. Would you rather have a partner who is always late or would you rather have a partner who always forgets special dates, like?
Speaker 2:anniversaries and birthdays.
Speaker 1:And why?
Speaker 2:I'd rather have a partner who's always late.
Speaker 1:Then forgetting special dates? Why?
Speaker 2:Because if you forget my birthday it's going to be a problem.
Speaker 1:But if you're always late, I could just lie to you about the time yeah, but what if it's like a really meaningful event that you have to get to like? Even if you lie to me about the time, that doesn't change the fact that we're still going to be late but that it does, because if I because you think the event starts at five oh, you mean, like you would just tell me a fake time oh, okay oh okay, that's smart.
Speaker 2:I don't agree with that I'm gonna just say it started five when it really started seven. So when we, so when we pull up at six, well, we got time so now you basically get both.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, okay, I like you well, I love you okay.
Speaker 2:I love you too, but I'm just saying bye, whatever okay, go ahead okay, um. Would you rather have a lifetime of slow dances with me or a lifetime of love notes hitting around the house?
Speaker 1:oh, a lifetime of slow dances or love notes, love notes you's diabolical.
Speaker 2:You know all my love notes gonna be sexual so are your slow dances.
Speaker 1:So so are your slow dances. It doesn't matter, it's all gonna be sexual wait I just saw a clip today on my timeline.
Speaker 1:It was a. I think her name is lisa remy and she was talking about she was like you. The thing about my husband is is it doesn't matter if he has like the flu or if he like broke his leg or if he has like a headache, like it doesn't matter. She said whatever is bothering him, the only cure for him is sex. And then he was like hugging up on her and he was like. He was like babe, you know, the only thing that makes me feel better Sex. It's the only thing that makes me feel better.
Speaker 1:As long as the blood is flowing, it's the only thing that makes you feel better. Huh.
Speaker 2:It get me right every time, every time. It ain't miss, not once Temper Tim will recommend it.
Speaker 1:Don, we'll recommend it.
Speaker 2:Don't miss he don't miss he don't miss. He don't miss 10 for 10.
Speaker 1:We'll recommend um, yeah, so I would say, a bunch of love notes around the house, because, you know, part of my love language is gift giving. Okay, um, I like, I like to receive gifts, and one of the biggest reasons behind that is because I like to receive gifts, and one of the biggest reasons behind that is because I like to feel as though you thought about me, you know. So leaving me the love notes makes me feel like I'm on your mind.
Speaker 2:And I would say the same thing the love notes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the love notes.
Speaker 2:Because that makes me feel appreciated.
Speaker 1:Right, like when I used to put the notes in your lunch.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I used to.
Speaker 1:And you were so excited about that little sticky note. It would make my day.
Speaker 2:I'm going to have to give you a sticky note.
Speaker 1:You always say that no, I don't, and you don't. And like I put a, I surprised your daughter and put a poppy in her lunch bell she was like wait a minute, what? She was like I can drink the whole can. She was so excited I was like I'm gonna let you live today. She was so she was silly excited. Ok, would you rather go on an all expense paid luxury vacation for a week or have a year of free, cozy date nights at home with me?
Speaker 2:Give me the vacation.
Speaker 1:Wow, diabolical Give me the vacation. Wow, why me the vacation?
Speaker 2:wow why because the vacation, the vacation is gonna be more special to me because we're not, we're not in no, I'm not gonna be with you.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's, I'm not gonna be with you. Would you rather go on an all expense paid luxury vacation for a week, or have a year of free, cozy date nights at home with me?
Speaker 2:Oh, so the vacation is just me.
Speaker 1:It's just you.
Speaker 2:Dang. That's rough, Because it's still a good deal. It's still a good deal Especially because I'm not paying.
Speaker 1:I'm going to be honest.
Speaker 2:If I'm answering, I'm going to take the vacation.
Speaker 1:We ain't shit. I'll be real honest. I'm taking a vacation.
Speaker 2:I'm taking a vacation. I'm taking a vacation too bad, I mean because at least I'll come back. When I come back, I'm going to tell you about it. I'm going to tell you about it and we can have them dates. We can cuddle and cuddle and I'll tell you about how much fun.
Speaker 1:I had Because you saved so much money not having to pay for the vacation.
Speaker 2:I actually got to do stuff before 12 o'clock because you wasn't there.
Speaker 1:That's cold, that's a low blow, that wasn't even necessary. You go on vacation to sleep Because it's vacation. It's a break. Every time we have gone on vacation, this cat makes an itinerary that starts at 8 am. I'm not getting up by alarm clock on vacation, we got a lot to see. Let's go out and explore.
Speaker 1:We're going to see it, but we're going to see it at a reasonable time. I get up between 6 and 8 as it is. You think I want to hear my alarm on vacation. Okay, the only time I want to hear my alarm on vacation is to make sure we check out of the room on time. That's it.
Speaker 2:I got to lay a check out.
Speaker 1:That's it. Well see, Okay.
Speaker 2:Would you rather have a candlelit dinner at home every night or go out on an extravagant dinner date every weekend?
Speaker 1:Extravagant dinner dates every weekend. Facts Because I'm trying to hit somewhere different every time, every time, every time, every time, and you already captured me at extravagant Right, right, I'm sorry, my heart had a little bougie.
Speaker 2:Yes, I would love the truffle on top Scrape.
Speaker 1:a little extra for me.
Speaker 2:Yes, I would. Is that lobster bisque oh?
Speaker 1:yes, I'll take a second bowl, thank you, oh, a little bison burger.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, all right.
Speaker 1:Bison burger is extravagant.
Speaker 2:I don't know we buy bison, yeah, but like a gourmet bison.
Speaker 1:Oh, I don't know Okay.
Speaker 2:Go somewhere and get me some bear ribs. I can't you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Okay. Would you rather have your spouse read all of your text messages, or would you rather see your full internet? Or would you rather have your spouse see your full internet search history?
Speaker 2:It doesn't matter. Either way doesn't matter, you're not going to be shocked. You can read your text messages.
Speaker 1:I read your text messages.
Speaker 2:It doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:I mean your search history. Am I looking at it? Am I looking at a regular search history or am I looking at incognito search history?
Speaker 2:I don't search in Carnel okay, you'll find big booty black women in the regular search.
Speaker 1:Oh, my gosh. Please don't tell me you put that in your regular search history. I put a please don't tell me, I search for I'm not gonna say it.
Speaker 1:Okay, wait, that just took me back. Okay, that took me back when you said big black booty. Okay, so quick, quick, quick story time. So me and my co-workers we went to, uh, the toy box. It's an adult store, right. We had a girl's night out, we did movies, dinner drinks this is back when I used to drink blah blah, blah um and we had started like a little mini um, like book club, and this is around like the 50 50 shades time right and so we were like okay, we're gonna go to the toy box, which is a really popular, really big toy store, and it was my first time at an adult shop.
Speaker 1:Okay, and for those who know me, know that I have like a pretty bubbly personality and my customer service game is like very like hyper, and you know I'm a people, I'm a people person, I like talking to people, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 2:It's exhausting. Yeah, he says it's exhausting.
Speaker 1:So we go into the shop, right, and apparently there are certain etiquettes that you have when you go to an adult store and one of those etiquettes is not speaking to people who are trying to pick out their porn. And there was this guy who was picking up like big booty porn and I like walked over, like like about to pass him and I we kind of made eye contact and I was like hi, how are you this evening? And he like gave me this look like what. And then my co-workers were like Kinesha and I was like what, what's the problem? I just asked him how he was doing this evening and they're like dude, you don't ask him how he's doing this evening while he's picking out his porn. And I was like what, what's the problem? I just asked him how he was doing this evening and they're like dude, you don't ask him how he's doing this evening while he's picking out his porn. And I was like oh, is that why he looked at me like that?
Speaker 2:If I'm in a toy store and a woman asks me how I'm doing, my mom thinks she's trying to fuck.
Speaker 1:Because you know why, because you know I'm here, you know I'm here, you know I'm here. Shut up. You know I'm here.
Speaker 2:You know I'm here.
Speaker 1:And I guess it's safe to assume why you're here too.
Speaker 2:So we're all here for a common purpose. Guys, you like what you see You're trying to see. If we don't want a court, so let's go back and make a ban.
Speaker 1:Really I can't.
Speaker 2:I cannot. Is it my turn or your turn? I?
Speaker 1:I cannot. Is it my turn or your turn? I don't remember.
Speaker 2:I think it's your turn. No, it's your turn. Could you ask me about my history, okay, okay, okay, um, oh man, I saw which one I wanted to ask you. Now I can't find it. Give me a second, oh my gosh okay. Would you rather have to serenade me in public once a week or wear a shirt with my face on it every Friday?
Speaker 1:Wear a shirt with your face on it every Friday. Dime all of it. You wouldn't sing to me. I mean I would, but you asked me which I would rather do. I'd rather wear a shirt with your face on it every Friday. That's not hard to do, okay, I'm going to serenade you once a week. I know.
Speaker 2:Because I do it anyway.
Speaker 1:I know, that's why I do.
Speaker 2:That booty is so smooth, oh my gosh. And I hope this isn't rude, but I want to get up on it. I can't.
Speaker 1:Okay, oh, this one's for you. Okay, would you rather give up kissing or cuddling for a year? Which would you rather give up?
Speaker 2:I'll give up cuddling. I ain't giving up kissing. Kissing might mean other types of kissing too, so I can't so you're not gonna roll the dice on that one. I'm not gonna risk that one. I can cuddle with myself. I can cuddle with myself.
Speaker 1:I can cuddle with myself.
Speaker 2:I can go buy me a stuffy.
Speaker 1:Really A stuffy, so silly. You just reminded me of your daughter Because she's serious about her stuff. She was serious, another side note. So I deep cleaned and reset the kids' bedroom right, and Phoenix has I. I mean, I've got boxes and closets full of stuffed animals. I'm talking life-size stuffed animals, uh, tiny size stuffed animals, and every stuffed animal in between. And about like every year I try to go through and take some of the stuffed animals out of her room and box them up, put them away. You know keepsakes.
Speaker 1:So when I reset her room, uh, yesterday I looked at her out of her room and box them up, put them away. You know keepsakes. So when I reset her room yesterday, I looked at her bed and her floor and I was like, okay, the stuffies have got to go. So I did a deep clean of the stuffies and I only left, like I guess, the major ones that I thought were like the major ones. That child walked in that room. She was like, oh, my gosh, gosh, my room looks so good, thanks mom. She sat down on her bed, she turned around and she was like mom. I said what she was like where are my stuffies? I was like phoenix. I was like they're safe. They're in a safe place. No, but where are they?
Speaker 2:I was like phoenix they're in a safe place the diabolical part is that you told her to name the one I did.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she started there. I told her here, this was me trying to be a smart parent. I was like, look, you don't need all those stuffies. I said, matter of fact, if you can tell me which stuffies are missing, then I will give them back to you. She was like my mini robot, my unicorn, my I was like and she kept going and he was looking at me like, yeah, you played yourself.
Speaker 2:You better go get him.
Speaker 1:You better go get him.
Speaker 1:You better go get him and then as soon as we woke up this morning for school, she asked again. She was like no, she was like mom, really, where's my stuffies? Right, like I'm not joking girl you better, them stuffies better reappear by the time I'm back home. So are you gonna give up kissing? I'm gonna give up cuddling for the same reason. No, I'm gonna give up cuddling because I don't think that would be difficult to do. Because because when we cuddle at night, like, we start off cuddling but we never end up cuddling. So I mean that's okay and we only cuddle literally for like 10-15 minutes before. Both of us are kind of like okay, I love you, but I need to love you from afar so I can go to sleep. No, it's because you be hot.
Speaker 2:Your body run at 105.
Speaker 1:No, it doesn't. I don't have a fever.
Speaker 2:That's what I feel like. Are you sick? Oh my gosh, would you rather have to communicate with me in baby talk, or only be able to whisper when talking to me?
Speaker 1:Whisper.
Speaker 2:I can't hear you when you don't whisper. It's going to be hard. We're going to have some fun conversations.
Speaker 1:I'm going to say whisper.
Speaker 2:I'm going to say baby talk.
Speaker 1:Baby talk, because I'm going to laugh doing it. So we still wouldn't be able to have the conversation. But you will understand me. Oh, no, you will understand me. Oh no, uh-uh, I can't. You will understand me? No, uh-uh, because I don't. I don't, like. Here's the thing. You can't give me no water. No, because I'm gonna be honest with you right now, like when you have your like baby moments. I'm gonna be real honest with you? I don't think I've ever told you this but I'm gonna go ahead and say it now I, I.
Speaker 1:It cringes me, I know Like I legit want to be like Shut the fuck up.
Speaker 2:If I knew this was a part of marriage.
Speaker 1:I probably would have reconsidered Like it'd be too much sometimes. Sometimes your baby be like.
Speaker 2:You just got. You now just got comfortable with the fact that I call you mamas all the time, and I don't know why I just started that I don't know why either? I guess because I'm almost 40. I guess it's.
Speaker 1:Now you're worried about your grass. You get excited for cleaning out your garage.
Speaker 2:I'm going to tell the gardener to cut it low. Cut it low, because I'm going to see.
Speaker 1:I can't. I think it's your turn. I just asked you a question Would you rather always have to dress in matching outfits or never be allowed to dress up for a date night?
Speaker 2:Never be allowed to dress for a date night. I knew you were going to.
Speaker 1:I shouldn't have even asked that one, for two reasons I'm going to tell you why.
Speaker 2:Why One? I like to be comfortable, so if I ain't got to dress up, that means I can go. I'm out there in basketball shorts and Crocs, and we at date night. I'm super comfortable.
Speaker 1:Right, and when you get full, you ain't got to worry about your pants being tight and on part of that the time.
Speaker 2:The last time I went out matching with you, I got flamed on for an hour and a half oh my gosh by Bruce.
Speaker 1:Bruce. Well, you sat, we sat directly in the front wearing matching shirts. So, and he called me a sucker for an hour. I feel like we were asking for that?
Speaker 2:No, you was asking for it. This is what you wanted me to do. A little bit. You know you want to go after you. I said she just really wanted him to make fun of me you took one for the team, it was okay no, it wasn't a team, it was for you, it was a team effort, it was for you. Oh, it's my turn. Yeah, would you rather have to do a TikTok dance together every day or record a cringy couple song and post it online?
Speaker 2:a cringy couple song I mean we do the vibe checks already.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, that's not cringy because I can't dance. Tiktok dance every day. I'm not recording a TikTok every day, no, maybe the same dance.
Speaker 2:We would probably get a lot of views. Because my mobility is crap because of my knee, your coordination it's crap. My coordination is fine when it matters, though.
Speaker 1:You know I'm going to make. I had thought about this. I was like I'm going to start this Journal for Phoenix and it's fine where it matters though. That's all, that's I'm. You know I'm gonna make. I had thought about this. I was like I'm gonna start this journal for phoenix and it's gonna be like things that you need to like, uncommon things that you need to be aware of when considering a mate. Okay, next question and part of that is gonna be making sure your, your future husband, has coordination.
Speaker 2:I I have coordination Okay.
Speaker 1:Because you remember if this is the person you choose to marry. This is also the person you're going to have offspring with.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't be able to do lunges and squat.
Speaker 1:You do them on a Smith machine, so you have something to hold on to. I wouldn't be able to do pull-ups.
Speaker 2:You're not able to do pull-ups or curls or walk Really to. I wouldn't be able to do pull-ups. You're not able to do our curls, our walk really go ahead and ask your question. Go ahead and do yours. You always coming for me always um.
Speaker 1:Would you rather have your spouse plan every single date or always be the one planning? I already know your answer to this one Say it again Would you rather have your spouse plan every single date or you always be the one planning? I know what your answer to this is, because you live your life by it. I'm going to let you plan it, of course. Of course, tell me when to show up, of course.
Speaker 2:Just tell me when to show up and how much I got to pay yeah At. Just tell me when to show up and how much I gotta pay yeah At least that way you get what you want.
Speaker 1:I mean, I'm the same. I would rather have you plan it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because I know, you just lazy.
Speaker 1:Really.
Speaker 2:I'm just trying to make sure you get what you want.
Speaker 1:No, that's lazy. That's a lazy way out. That's lazy. But you just said you would do the same thing. I would do the same thing, because it's a nice gesture for a man to be the planner, especially for dates and stuff.
Speaker 2:I can't look here. I can't make the bread and slice it, okay, you don't, because you don't make a sandwich.
Speaker 1:I do, I do, so it's fine. That's fine. You ain't spreading no mayonnaise, you ain't cut up no tomato, you ain't washed no lettuce, you ain't sliced no deli meat, so that's fine.
Speaker 2:Okay, would you rather swap bodies for a day?
Speaker 1:I thought you were about to say something else when you started with shh.
Speaker 2:Diabolical, diabolical.
Speaker 1:A flashback, a flashback of what. Nothing. It was an inappropriate moment. Go ahead. A flashback Nothing, because you were like you like that, don't you?
Speaker 2:Would you rather swap bodies for a day or swap jobs for a week?
Speaker 1:Oh, with you, Swap bodies for a day or swap jobs for a week. Swap jobs for a week, oh okay, okay, gonna, do some training. But you didn't know, I've always liked doing stuff like this. That's fine.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna swap bodies.
Speaker 1:I know you're gonna swap bodies. You perv so you can sit there and touch yourself all day. That's so gross, exactly, and if it had to be my body, I would be so upset Like I feel like every time I would walk in I'd catch you touching yourself.
Speaker 2:No, I would do it in front of you.
Speaker 1:That's so disturbing. Like you know how like that's so terrible.
Speaker 2:Like on this whole list. This is the one thing I gravitate towards you. You know why you have been able to still walk around here somewhat in the nude. I have not been able to walk around my house in the nude since my child was born because I have a daughter Right, my very first.
Speaker 1:I don't walk around the house nude though, babe. You don't you talk about like just walking around in my underwear or something like that. Yeah, you can't do that if we swapping bodies.
Speaker 2:I'm around here. When I'm outside the room, I'm in nothing but a muumuu you can wear a muumuu if you like. I'm in nothing but a muumuu when I go lay down in the bed. I'm naked and I'm touching.
Speaker 1:Oh my god caressing rubbing so terrible because when I swap back I might have no info and I feel like I would just feel so violated and just tapped out once I got my body back you might have some scars, might be some burns.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, I might see what that rose do okay, let's see.
Speaker 1:Would you rather have your partner make you breakfast in bed once a week or surprise you with spontaneous gifts once a month?
Speaker 2:I'll take the gifts safe, because you're going to make the breakfast, if I ask you for it anyway. I say same would you rather have to always have to kiss me every time you yawn or every time you sneeze? What would you rather? Always have to kiss me every time you yawn or every time you sneeze? Every time I yawn, or every time you sneeze Every time I yawn Okay, because sneeze is diabolical, because you're not going to be spitting on me constantly.
Speaker 1:But I was thinking like when I wake up in the morning and I yawn and I've got like morning breath.
Speaker 2:Diabolical, diabolical.
Speaker 1:I could just reach over and give you a kiss. I have no answer to that. Okay, let's do a couple more and then we'll wrap it up. Let's see, would you rather Never receive another compliment From me or never be able To give them? Give me one.
Speaker 2:I never receive Because I'm a man, I'm used to not getting shit. Oh my gosh so fucking dramatic.
Speaker 1:So fucking dramatic. Okay, your turn. You answered the question. Oh, I would rather not get one same oh so you want to give me compliments?
Speaker 2:yes, diabolical, I don't know, that's not true really, because I don't compliment you I didn't, say you didn't. Oh wow, would you rather we, uh? Would you rather have to kiss me every time we argue, or hold hands for an hour every time we disagree?
Speaker 1:Hold hands for an hour.
Speaker 2:Think about that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I did.
Speaker 2:You know how sweaty my hands get. I do For an hour I would do, and you know where I'm putting your hand at. Oh my God, I would say kiss you every time we argue, because it stops the argument.
Speaker 1:That's why I say hold hands, because holding hands for an hour will give us enough time to like really calm down and then talk about the disagreement, or we'll just not talk about it at all and we start like cracking jokes.
Speaker 2:It's like I said a couple of pods ago, like if you want to win the argument, take your titties off, you win. I can't think no more. I just see titties.
Speaker 1:It must be. What was I mad about? It must be just a whole different experience having a male brain. Sometimes it's just a whole different experience. Sometimes I got one more for you. Let's see, hmm, which one, okay. Let's see, hmm, which one, okay. Would you rather cuddle on the couch for hours or go on spontaneous adventures together?
Speaker 2:Spontaneous adventures. I'm not going to cuddle for hours. That'd be awesome. Like I said before, your ass get hot. I can't be next to you for too long.
Speaker 1:Your ass get hot, and then it makes me hot right, and then nothing worse than we cuddling.
Speaker 2:And then here come your, your hot child oh yeah, she runs very hot and then she, then she kicks up the fire another two, three degrees, yeah, phoenix.
Speaker 1:And then I wake up and and sweating like what's going on, because I'm both of us, and then, when she next to me, I get hotter, and then she's already next to hot pocket number one or two yeah, it'd be'm both of us, and then, when she next to me, I get hotter, and then she's already hot and I'm next to hot pocket number one or two. Yeah, it'd be diabolical. Yeah, and then we both have the same sleeping pattern. It's just, I'd be feeling for you sometimes no, you don't I do cause you would kick her off.
Speaker 2:I I've stated many times that's a boundary and nothing much has been done about it did you be too hot when going to sleep?
Speaker 1:I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry okay, go ahead alright, guys, let's go ahead.
Speaker 1:Hop right on in to our Tuesday. Our Tuesday. That was fun, babe, it was alright. Okay, let's.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't rather do it again.
Speaker 1:That didn't even make sense. Oh my gosh, oh my God, oh my God.
Speaker 2:People think we so lame. We've just been together a long time. People. We not lame. We actually were pretty cool. We're lame for each other.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna make us some sweatshirts. I'm lame for him.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to wear it.
Speaker 1:I'm lame for him and he's lame I'm really in my zip-up hoodie era, why?
Speaker 2:I don't know why I'm like the pullover to head. I think my pullover I don't want to pull over. I think I don't want pullovers.
Speaker 1:Okay, here we go. Here we go. Am I the asshole for making my husband's family leave after they showed up with an extra guest?
Speaker 2:Hell. No, don't show up with an extra guest.
Speaker 1:Okay, my husband and I recently hosted a small, intimate dinner at our home for his family. We carefully planned everything seating arrangements, food and even table settings, since it was meant to be a cozy evening with just close family. We invited eight people his parents, siblings and one cousin. I took extra care with the menu because I have severe food allergies to nuts and shellfish. I cooked everything myself to avoid cross-contamination and my husband helped plan the dishes accordingly. Since it was a sit down dinner with a pre-planned meal, it wasn't the type of gathering where you could just add another plate last minute.
Speaker 1:An hour before dinner my mother-in-law had texted me. She was saying that she was bringing my husband's aunt, her sister, because, quote-unquote, she was in town and had nowhere else to go. I was immediately uncomfortable. This aunt has mocked my allergies before saying she doesn't quote unquote believe in all that nonsense and even once tried to convince me to just take a bite of a dish that contained nuts, because she thought that I was being exaggerating. I texted my mother-in-law back politely but also firmly, saying I'm so sorry, but we don't have extra seating or enough food planned for another guest. I do hope you understand. She didn't respond. Instead she showed up at my house with the aunt anyway. When I opened the door and saw her standing there, I felt a pit in my stomach. My mother-in-law was all smiles, acting like nothing was wrong, and said it's just one more person. We'll squeeze her in. I reminded her that we didn't have enough food and, more importantly, that I didn't feel comfortable having someone who has disrespected my food allergies at my dinner table. My husband's aunt laughed and said oh, don't worry, I won't poison you. In a sarcastic tone she then turned to my husband and said is she always this uptight?
Speaker 1:At that moment, something inside me snapped. This wasn't about the extra guest anymore. It was about the complete disrespect for my boundaries and my health. I turned to my mother-in-law and I said I told you we didn't have room for another person and yet you still showed up with her. I don't appreciate being ignored in my own home. If you can't respect that, then you are welcomed to leave Silence. Then my mother-in-law's face turned red and she said are you seriously kicking us out over one extra plate? This is beyond rude.
Speaker 1:My husband's siblings jumped in, calling me dramatic and ungracious, saying that I could have made something extra or just dealt with it. But I stood my ground. I told them that I wasn't okay with my boundaries being ignored and that if they couldn't accept that then they could also leave. At that point my mother-in-law scoffed, grabbed her purse and stormed out. The rest of the family followed, grappling about how I ruined dinner over something so small.
Speaker 1:My husband didn't say much during the argument, but after they left he told me he understood my frustration but thought that I could have handled it a little bit more tactfully instead of outright telling them to leave. Now his family is furious with me, saying that I was cold, inhospitable and made a scene over something so trivial. My mother-in-law even called my husband later saying that she was hurt that we chose to humiliate her over something so minor. My husband still supports me, but he also admitted he wishes I had handled it differently to avoid this huge rift. So am I the asshole for refusing to accommodate an unexpected guest and making them leave when they ignored my clear boundaries?
Speaker 1:No Stand on business boo look, no, look here, let me say this. No, let me say this let me say this fuck her sister and your mother-in-law. Wow, that's a that's. That's a bit dramatic. Look here because look here because I'll stand by this.
Speaker 2:first of all, I told you, right, I ain't got room for her, right? You know about the history we have, yeah, and you still brought her to my house, yeah. So now you are blatantly disrespecting me. So again I say F you and your sister.
Speaker 1:But you know why she did that? Because Her son. Yeah, because her son.
Speaker 2:She's like this is my son's house as well as his aunt's, and look here, care, I don't know what dynamic y'all got, but over here my family know that if the queen ain't comfortable, it ain't gonna happen.
Speaker 1:Everybody gotta go, it ain't gonna happen.
Speaker 2:Everybody gotta go. I don't care. Oh yeah, my name on everything shit. I don't think there's a bill in her name, but if she ain't comfortable, you gotta go, gotta go.
Speaker 1:I don't care about that. Not doing it was blatant disrespect and your husband did the right thing.
Speaker 2:He, he backed you up, yeah, and he addressed you once. The parties was gone, and if yeah, and, of course, they felt like you were being, uh, a bit too much or a bit childish, because it affected them. Now she's embarrassed because, no, what's embarrassing is that you tried me. Yeah, you embarrassed.
Speaker 1:What's embarrassing is that you tried me. Yeah, you embarrassed me. What's embarrassing is that you were disrespectful.
Speaker 2:Look at you. You played yourself.
Speaker 1:Bye.
Speaker 2:You played yourself.
Speaker 1:You played yourself. Don't bring that. That shit may work in your house, boo, it don't work over here, but this is my house. It don't work over here, this is my house.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I definitely think the mother-in-law was wrong. And your little boy, your little boy, little boy, you got my man, that's my man you hear me now, that's my he gonna stick beside me.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:He gonna stick beside me because what I got in this crotch is holding him down. He ain't worried about you.
Speaker 1:Bye babe what I got in this crotch. You cannot provide him the life that I give him. I promise you that. I promise no, but the mother-in-law was very much out of pocket.
Speaker 1:It's rude to impromptually impromptly I don't even think that's a word or impromptly bring an additional guest to a well, like she has already said, it was a well curated dinner. It was a very like specific style of dinner. The food was very specific, like everything you know what I mean Down to the eighth person. And for you to just be like, oh, we'll squeeze one more person in, that's not okay, and I know you saw my response to the text message. So the fact that you ignored my response. You still showed up at my house and you texted me an hour before, right, and she responded right back, and then you, you're gonna act like you didn't see it and then for this half of the show and say, oh, I'm not gonna poison you, bitch you don't get out of my face.
Speaker 1:I mean, you, you was, you was, you were better than me by even letting her pass the threshold of the door here, because she wouldn't even got past the threshold of the door. I would have been like I I do I do apologize like the mother-in-law. You know what I am, so sorry.
Speaker 2:However, she's not welcomed here in my home I would open and say that we just canceled yeah, I'm sorry sorry, right, in fact sorry guys, I do apologize.
Speaker 1:I do apologize. I do apologize for the inconvenience. Yeah, but you were definitely no you are definitely not the asshole.
Speaker 2:Sorry, I'm going to look at it like this is interesting Turn it into milk prep.
Speaker 1:Hello, and guess what? I can eat everything here. It's not going to go to waste. No, you're not the asshole Stand on business boo.
Speaker 1:Stand on business and shout out to your husband for sticking next to you and supporting you and still being able to express himself and how he felt, because I'm sure it's uncomfortable for him. That's his mother, that's his aunt, but he also understands that you're his wife and I know it's an uncomfortable situation for him and he probably doesn't like it. And he still expressed to you that, even though you stood your ground. I can respect that, but I do felt like you could have handled it a little bit different, but he still supported you and he still stands by you.
Speaker 2:So shout out to your husband. He's a good man.
Speaker 1:He's a good man, savannah, a good man. I'm going to stand beside him. I'm going to stick beside him. That's him. I'm going to stand beside him. Shut up, man. All right, guys, that's all we have for you today. So this has been another episode of the life after I do podcast. If you're not doing so already, you already know this. Just follow us on all of our social media platforms. At life after a new podcast, don't forget. You can always write into the podcast at life after I do podcast at gmailcom, and you get a new episode every wednesday, a new clip mondays on youtube. So like, follow, share, subscribe, do all of the fun things. You guys have been really active and interactive with us on Instagram the past couple of weeks, so we truly appreciate it. So let's keep it going, guys, and until then, peace, booskies, peace.
