Life After I Do Podcast
Marriage and relationships can be tough. You may feel like you’re the only one struggling but you’re not. Life After I do is a weekly podcast where Morice and Kynesha, a black married millennial couple, share their experiences and advice on everything from kids and family to intimacy and connection. Noting is off limits.
In their 21 years together and 7 years of marriage, Morice and Kynesha have learned a lot about what it takes to make a relationship work. They know the importance of communication, trust and commitment. They also know it’s okay to not have it all figured out.
Join them every Wednesday as they talk about their own journey of “Life After I do”.
Life After I Do Podcast
Our 2 Cents Vol. 10
We are back again with another installment of our very own "Our 2 Cents" Sit back, relax and enjoy as we bring the wildest stories from across the internet.
I rushed into the house and I don't know what came over me. I punched Haley in the face and I beat the shit out of her. I didn't even realize it until I had saw her on the floor. Haley wanted to press charges against me, but my ex talked her out of it. I went on to the police station with my daughter right after and I filed a police report. I showed them the bruises, the welts and the marks. I pressed charges for child abuse and reported my husband to CPS for child neglect and abuse. Hey everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Life After I Do. I am your host, Denisha Jean. I'm here with my husband today and every day I said it like I'll be having different.
Speaker 2:You do.
Speaker 1:Different co hosts Hi babe.
Speaker 2:Hey Booskies.
Speaker 1:How's it going?
Speaker 2:My name is Molita, by the way.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:So you're trying to cut me short.
Speaker 1:I didn't try to cut you short at all.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:At all.
Speaker 2:How's it?
Speaker 1:going boo.
Speaker 2:It doesn't matter, I'm in the rock world tonight.
Speaker 1:I'm not in the mood tonight, so maybe not do that.
Speaker 2:Okay, how's your day? Tell me about your day.
Speaker 1:You know what my day was? It was all right.
Speaker 2:It was a day.
Speaker 1:Your daughter is just.
Speaker 2:Oh, now she's my daughter.
Speaker 1:She is just.
Speaker 2:Oh, she's my daughter when she's making you mad.
Speaker 1:Well, she's not, you know what? Here's the thing she's a kid, right, and I say that because this is the mantra that I also say to myself. She's a child, she's only seven, she's growing. She's only seven, she's you know, she's growing, she's evolving she's doing childlike things.
Speaker 1:You know, I'm just I'm, you know, just trying to gather my bearings as we go through this. She's not like a terrible kid, and I shouldn't say it like that. She's not a terrible kid, but it's just some of the new um attitude features that have come with her upgrade, and what I mean by upgrade, like her age as she's growing, is I don't know. It's just annoying me. I guess we're gonna have to do another parenting episode, because deep breaths.
Speaker 2:Huh, what's up? Deep breath, deep breath like I know today you were looking at her like you're gonna eat this goddamn cake anime. He's about to beat her ass today I just you know what it is.
Speaker 1:I'm also in a headspace where, like I had told you the conversation that we had the other day when I said that I just need to start focusing a little bit more on myself, and what that might look like like to the two of you it's just that some things, I'm just I don't.
Speaker 2:I'm just, I just don't have the energy so like I just don't have the energy, but like I fully told you, I don't.
Speaker 1:I told you I don't want to have the energy my.
Speaker 2:My plan was to drop her off at practice, so you went through this so you could stay home, but then I got up and to take her.
Speaker 1:He was, but you didn't it. Had you communicated that to me earlier, then I could have been better prepared for that.
Speaker 2:Well, I was going to surprise you.
Speaker 1:That shouldn't have to be a surprise. This is what I mean. That's not a surprise, that's just a.
Speaker 2:I said, let me take her in that way so she can get ready for us to record and have some time to herself and as you can see, she starts practice at six.
Speaker 1:You left Bella early but I got back home before six o'clock because I was just like I said I don't have time to do the back and forth with you and the pushback. I was like just go get ready for gym and I will drop you off. And I just dropped her off early because I just I just don't have it in me. I told her I loved her, told her I'd be back, and I was like enjoy. And then I get there and then I also forgot today I guess they were able to wear like their costumes or whatever to practice, because her friend, you know what.
Speaker 2:Charlie went as, but why are they wearing costumes about the practice?
Speaker 1:They wanted to. They didn't have to, but like, if you wanted to show up with your costume, before then you could put your costume over your leotard, like that. But you know what Charlie showed up as what Coach Itzy, your leotard, like that. But you know what charlie showed up as what coach itzy, so she should. Our daughter's friend, phoenix's friend from gymnastics, showed up as their coach. So their coach, she's a, she's a young, she's a young girl and so she always wears like short little spandex shorts and a t-shirt that says coach on it and white slouchy socks and she always has her hair like down and flowing. So that's exactly how she showed. Oh, and her and her cell phone and her, um, her stanley. So that's how charlie showed up to practice. She showed up, she had on did you see her.
Speaker 2:I said did she laugh?
Speaker 1:she? Yeah, I was like I said she looks adorable. She had her coach t-shirt on her little short spandex, her little slouchy socks, her Stanley in one hand and a cell phone in the other. She's like I'm Coach Itzy, I said nailed it.
Speaker 2:I'm pretty sure our daughter had a meltdown.
Speaker 1:I was like nailed it. No, she's fine. But yeah, but ever since Quick story, I go into her room to clean up her room. Okay so, talk your shit and I'm cleaning Like I'm gathering like the clothes.
Speaker 2:No, hold on, hold on, you wasn't cleaning.
Speaker 1:What.
Speaker 2:You was all the way in it.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, because you know like.
Speaker 2:I a body cleaning experience.
Speaker 1:I had to like reset her room. You know what I mean, because she she puts certain things back where they go and then other things when she straightens up, like I always make her clean.
Speaker 2:That's the first open area.
Speaker 1:That's the rule. Like, you have to pick up your room before the first open area.
Speaker 1:When she's like rushing or if she's tired or she's like I just don't feel like doing it. She's like I just don't feel like doing it. She used to take everything and just put it in her dirty clothes hamper. I don't know if you knew that, but she would take toys, dirty clothes, whatever it was, and she would put every because her, her clothes hamper is inside of her closet. So she would put everything in the dirty clothes hamper and just close the closet. Then she would come to me in my room and she'd be like mom, my room is clean and when I walk into the room I'm like, oh, my gosh, you did like a really good job. Your room is all picked up. And then one day I opened her closet door and I looked at her dirty clothes hamper and it was full of toys and dirty clothes. She had purses in there, she had her goggles in there, she had the toys that she played with look here I put it up.
Speaker 1:I may not have put it where it's supposed, right and so and I politely took everything out and put it in the middle of the floor and I said and now you get, now you get to put away stuff for however long it takes you, till we go to bed. So, anywho, I go into her room to do a reset, and a reset is just like making sure all her toys are in the appropriate bins, making sure her clothes are folded, her bed and everything. And I look under the bed and I see a cord and I was like what is this cord? And I pull on the cord and lo and behold, it's my flat irons.
Speaker 1:Oh, and I'm looking at my flat irons and it's covered in melted hair, like all the little hairs that melted are stuck to the platens of my flat irons and hairs are sticking out everywhere. And I was like this child attempted to flat iron her Barbie's hair and burnt all of Barbie's hair and left it in the flat iron and I guess she probably didn't know what to do with it afterwards, so she just put everything under the bed. But see, it's that way of thinking that has me concerned. That's the concerning part.
Speaker 2:She had to hide the evidence. I see that as normal kid behavior.
Speaker 1:Okay. So then I'm looking under there, and then I look again and I find my razor my leg. Razor for my leg.
Speaker 2:Her mind size. Barbie had to shave her legs and.
Speaker 1:I was like, okay, did you shave Barbie's head after you burned the hair off? Like we can't be doing things like that. I don't need her setting a house fire.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, if the house catch on fire, it's gonna start in that room.
Speaker 1:Cause she literally likes to sleep with the lamp in her bed. And I was like so she, so she comes home and I I do my best to like I try to take the why did you do this out of my vocabulary and it's it's been a work in progress, um, but I had asked her. I said, oh no, I didn't ask her. When she, when I picked her up yesterday and then she came home and we were sitting in her room, I said Phoenix, I found my flat irons under your bed and she, she looked me square in my face and she was like what are you talking about? And I said maybe. I said I said my flat irons. I was like the hair straightener. I was like you, you burned your. I just said you burned your Barbie's hair. She said no, no, I did it. I said, yes, you did, and she was like I didn't burn it did you show it to her?
Speaker 1:yeah, I know I didn't show it to her because I had already threw it away, but I had told her. I was like you burned your barbie's hair. And she was like no, I did it. And I said, yes, you did, because the hair was still in the, the flat iron. And she was like oh, and I said, and you had my razor under your bed. I was like what were you doing with those things? I was just trying to comb my baby's hair. I said okay, well, you can't go into mommy's room and take things out of my drawer or off my vanity because you don't know what they are Hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up.
Speaker 2:I've been complaining for years about her going in my office and taking my stuff. I've been complaining for years about her going in my office and taking my stuff and you tell me it's fine.
Speaker 1:No, I never told you it was fine, and the things that she takes out of your office is like paper, Paper pens batteries, or you told her where the batteries are, so she'll get the batteries to change something. She went into my bedroom and got a hot flat iron and a razor. A razor blade, so she could have burned herself or severely injured herself. And a razor, a razor blade, so she could have burned herself or severely injured herself with a razor.
Speaker 2:She was just trying to be a good mom.
Speaker 1:Her getting into my things is completely different than her getting into your things, but the point of the matter is that I had to make it very clear to her that under no circumstances it is okay for you to go into my things.
Speaker 2:I told you, we should just get locked on all the doors Like girlfriend, disrespectful.
Speaker 1:And then I come downstairs, as you can see, I bought a brand new lip oil yesterday because it was a limited edition color and I knew. I knew when I set. I knew, when I set that lip oil on my table, something told me just put it in your purse, kynesha. Just put it in your purse, kynesha. Just put it in your vanity, kynesha. I was like you know what? I'm going to take it upstairs later because I'm not exactly ready to completely open it. And I had passed by our chair like I don't know how many times and I saw something shiny in the chair. But we also had chicken last night. So I was like it's probably like a little bit of grease from the chicken last night that she got in the chair.
Speaker 1:There's no grease on smoked chicken I listen, that's what my mind was thinking. Then I go to reach for the darn lip oil to put the lip oil on and it's laying on its side and it looks like it has like a ton of bubbles, like air bubbles or something in it and I was like what the heck is this? What happened? And I take it out and I'm like, is this? Is this full of water? That's your daughter. And then I go to sit down in my seat and I was like, oh, let me clean this grease up from the chicken. And I'm trying to clean it and it's a little tacky and I put two and two together and I was like that that was my damn lip oil. She spilled in the seat. So, yeah, that's how, how my, that's how my day and week and everything has been Girl mom, hashtag girl mom.
Speaker 2:Hashtag girl mom. I don't know if I should say something.
Speaker 1:I don't know, but that's why I also had to apologize to you, because we're like in two different head spaces. So, so I was like slightly annoyed.
Speaker 2:I'm just like you know in a mood no hold on.
Speaker 1:And he comes over and he's in this like lovey dovey want to touch all over kids mood and I was just like I said, listen, it is not you, it's not you, it's smooth.
Speaker 2:And I was just like I said listen, it is not you.
Speaker 1:It's not you, it's me, and I don't want you to feel like I'm pushing you away, because I'm not trying to push you away, but I'm also just not in that headspace and I need you not to take it personal. That's marriage guys.
Speaker 2:Look here, that's marriage. That's not just today. You've been going through whatever you've been going through for a little over a week now, for a little over a week it has not been like that.
Speaker 1:Your vibe changes by the hour. I don't know. I'm just gonna say my week was great. It wasn't great, I'm happy. See, I absorb, I absorb all that. So you can have a good week I don't think that was I think that's what it is.
Speaker 2:She did stress me out a lot this week, but I'm trying to change how I interact with her so I haven't been yelling at her as much, even though I want to snatch the soul from her body and send it and maybe have it reevaluated because she have her soul reevaluated. She be pushing it, this attitude, the hips swinging, the head bobbing and the snapping.
Speaker 1:And the bro.
Speaker 2:And the stomping off, but why?
Speaker 1:I was like girl, where did we pick all this up at? It feels like a 360 or something. I said what happened? We've only been August, september, Octoberober, we're going into november, so like three months into the new school year, and I promise you I feel like we were not dealing with this last school year and now this school year. We're three months into it and it's like she's I just may have to create that Matilda closet.
Speaker 1:Bye, marise, you're not going to put my baby in a closet. Me and your sister were talking, though, and I told her yesterday. I was like I said not me making her the girl in the bubble and she was like right, nish, she was like you're going to have to tell her that the outside, she's allergic to the outside and she can't go, but let me say, but allergic to the outside and she can't go.
Speaker 2:But let me say, but my week for me was great.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's good, I love that for you.
Speaker 2:I'm getting stronger.
Speaker 1:You are.
Speaker 2:And it's starting to show.
Speaker 1:I'm down some pounds. Yes, you are. Congratulations.
Speaker 2:And overall I've been somewhat productive this week.
Speaker 1:You cleaned your office.
Speaker 2:You donated old clothes.
Speaker 1:I cleaned my office, I cleaned my. You donated old clothes.
Speaker 2:I clean my office, I clean my nightstand, and under my thing Did you dust Not?
Speaker 1:yet.
Speaker 2:Look here Once baby steps Okay.
Speaker 1:He cleaned his whole desk office, everything, and then had had the nerve to call me into his office and said, like I cleaned everything. Uh, you think you think you can? Uh, no, no, that's not. First you called me and you was like how does it look? I was like it looks really good and I was like you just need to dust and like go in with some wool light. He was like that's why I called you in here. I was hoping you would do that, absolutely not. No, I'm not gonna do that, so I'm not gonna do that you know, I'm just.
Speaker 2:You know my recent therapy, yes, I guess it's helping.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:A little bit.
Speaker 1:That's the purpose of therapy.
Speaker 2:It's been pretty good for me. That's the purpose of therapy, so I will say that, with them, chicken thighs I smoked out last night was delicious.
Speaker 1:They were really good they were delicious, the chicken thighs.
Speaker 2:We had cabbage. I love when you enjoy my meat. Yeah, oh, that cabbage was fire enjoy my meat.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, that cabbage was fire. The cabbage was really good. She loved the cabbage too, she, and she made it very clear that she does not like greens, she likes cabbage. Our daughter she was like, is it greens? And I was like no, this is cabbage. Okay, I'll take some cabbage because I don't want greens her exact words what we got today, because you're clearly upset at her.
Speaker 2:I'm. I'm about to tell something different than what it's we got today, because you're clearly upset at her. I'm. I'm about to tell something different than what it's supposed to be, because you mad, you big man I'm just, I'm just wondering what happened that seven-year-old got you out of pocket, out your lane, I think I just have to, um, I just have to read. You know what it is you need to walk back over and stand on your square.
Speaker 1:No, I just need to reevaluate my approach with certain things with her now, because she is getting older, like she's not the three and four year old, five year old Phoenix anymore. You know what I'm saying. So, just like how she's going through a transition as getting older, I too am going to have to go through a transition when it comes to my parenting, and I really do try to give myself a little bit of grace in that, like even on the drive back home. That's why I say, like my mantra, I keep reminding myself, like she, she's growing and she's evolving and her brain is doing different things, her body will start to do different things and I need to start adjusting the way I approach her and the way I interact with her and my parenting with her, because she, like you know, she's not.
Speaker 2:She's not a baby baby anymore, but she is like a full kid now you know, can I ask you this have you ever considered just snatching her up one time?
Speaker 1:um, I've always considered it, but I'm not gonna snatch her up just not sure one good time you'd be straightened up. I don't think so. She'll probably swear, it'll probably break her to be honest. You don't love me. You don't love me, you hit me. That's what she would say. I would imagine you hit me. I'm not going to do that.
Speaker 2:I didn't say hit her, I said snatch her.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to snatch her, I'm not going to hit her, it's not going to happen. But yeah, I mean, I don't know I'm, you know me.
Speaker 1:I never say never, but as of right now what we've got today so you know it's the beginning of the month, or you know, yeah, technically the what, friday's the first, but the episodes come out on Wednesday, and you know reactions, whether it be to videos or things we've seen out on the interwebs. So that's essentially what we're doing today is going to be giving our input and reactions, uh, to our two cents, um. So let's go ahead and get right on into it. These are going to be real, real reactions for you.
Speaker 1:No, uh, no time like the present right, okay, so here we go, let's get it um, my girlfriend has given up on her career after I became a millionaire. How do I tell her that this won't work out? Just tell her okay backstory. I met my girlfriend, kylie, in a community college seven years ago. We became really close friends and started dating two years later. At the time she wanted to be a nurse, which was great. She was really passionate about it and I fully supported her. I ended up transferring to a four-year university and then earning my MBA. Kylie supported me emotionally the entire time through school, which I'm grateful for.
Speaker 1:Kylie's parents ended up cutting her off financially because of her spending habits. She ended up taking a year off work to help with her bills, or she ended up taking a year off from school to work to help with her bills. In the meantime, I invested all of my savings, my time and energy into a startup platform with my best friend in the automotive industry. Earlier this year, we were bought out for a life-changing amount of money. We were both kept on as consultants, with a high paying salary as well. Kylie had kept her job at the jewelry store the entire time. After the buyout, she told me she was handing in her two weeks. I offered to pay for her school and expenses.
Speaker 1:At first she was excited to go back to school and earn her nursing degree. I ended up purchasing a condo for us to live in which was a big step up from our apartment. It was also close to her school. Over the weekend we were talking and she threw out the fact that she wasn't even sure about wanting to go back to school and that she could just be a stay at home wife, although we're not married yet. I didn't say anything in the moment because I wasn't sure on how to respond. Part of what attracted me to her in the first place was that she was ambitious. It doesn't just sit right with me that she wants to quit her job and in her career goals. After I came into money, her shopping and spending has also gone up. She's been looking at new cars. I could be overreacting, but something just doesn't seem right. I still love her and want to work it out, but I don't like this new side of her that I'm seeing, which I do.
Speaker 2:You're going to have to be honest with her, my dude.
Speaker 1:Right, because you know where she's thinking.
Speaker 2:She's like why do I have to work if my man rich Because they've been dating.
Speaker 1:Yeah, obviously they've had conversations about marriage. They already live together. So her way of thinking is why put myself through all the stress and commotion of going back to school and getting a career when clearly your career and your salary is doing well enough?
Speaker 2:It's enough to take care of both of us.
Speaker 1:And since we're going to get married, I'm sure they've talked about children, and so the fact that she said that I could just be a stay at home wife which will then turn into being a stay at home mom. She's thinking I don't really see the big, I don't see the problem baby.
Speaker 2:But he has concerns because obviously her spending habits are already.
Speaker 1:That's already a problem. So it's already a problem.
Speaker 2:So, first of all, my first point of advice would be cut her off.
Speaker 1:For him.
Speaker 2:Yeah, don't. She shouldn't have access to your money.
Speaker 1:I want to say here's the thing I want to say complete like cut her off cold turkey.
Speaker 1:What I would say is is, if you guys are planning on moving forward in your relationship and he still wants to move forward like you married, if her not working or going for a career is not a deal breaker for him, it is going to be his responsibility, especially as a person who's going to be in charge of making the money, to maybe set a boundary when it comes to the money. So, either giving her an allowance or setting something up where you have enough money to pay our bills, you'll be responsible for this, and then this amount will be set aside for you each month, or you this is the budget cap that we have you not. You're not to spend this much amount. Whatever the case is, however, he wants to set it up, but right now she's probably thinking, oh, we just got it like that, like I can just go buy me a car and he needs to go buy me a bag and he needs to remind that in he bag and he needs to remind her that I got it like that.
Speaker 1:Not if he plans on moving forward.
Speaker 2:I got it, look here.
Speaker 1:Not if he wants to marry you.
Speaker 2:Everything you said about the money, that's nice, that's nice and I agree that's nice. I agree, those are conversations that should be had. But before we talk about money, you need to sit her down and say, look, you are taking steps at, uh, you are taking steps in going farther away from the person I fell in love with. I don't like the direction you're going. These are the qualities that you possess when I met you. These are what, what, what, what drew me to you and you're not not, you're not showing this, you're not displaying these qualities anymore, and this is an issue for me, like because he said that she was driven. Listen now, because she's figuring I've hit the jackpot. I ain't got to be driven, I could be a passenger, princess, right, because the purpose of trying to pursue a career is so that you can make money.
Speaker 2:Right, but what he's saying is, and like I can understand his thought process and his fears- yes, and his fears I totally can understand, because it's a situation. I'm sorry. I mean, this is, men think this way.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry ladies, it's not just men.
Speaker 2:It's like here I am, I've come into all this money. If I from am, I've come into all this money. If I, from this point, show a pattern of taking care of you, if something was to happen in the future and we got married and we split, I will always have to take care of you yeah regardless of what you do to me and that, and so this is he's thinking.
Speaker 2:Well, first of all, she's not displaying the qualities that I that drew me to her, and now also I. Now what she's displaying, I feel like I have to protect myself. Protect myself well, not necessarily myself, but I have to protect my, my financial state, because she's out here a while and thinking that she can just do whatever. She's shopping for brand new cars. I'm pretty sure she thinks she finna go buy back.
Speaker 1:I'm pretty sure she got every Stanley in the world bye, jamil, we're not going there, but this is the conversation this is the conversation that needs to be had, and needs to be had sooner than later and he needed.
Speaker 1:But that's the thing it's like. From the way she's probably thinking. They've been together since they were in college, right, since they were in community college. Okay, now, I'm only going to say this because I went to school. Remember I told you the young lady I had went to college with, where the deal that her parents made with her was, as long as she was in school, or as long as she was pursuing something, her parents would foot the bill, and by the time I had met her, that was college number three for her.
Speaker 1:So that was just like a means of her surviving because her parents were like as long as you're trying to pursue something, we will financially back you. Okay. It kind of sounds like the same thing with her, because the fact that her parents had to cut her off financially for me tells me like she wasn't being responsible. But hold on, okay. Um, when it comes to the whole nursing thing, we need more nurses, let's start there. But it's also one of those careers that I think has got a lot of traction recently, for you know, I guess like how much money you can make and benefits and stuff like that, or I don't want to say like the default. But you know, when people can't decide on what to do, it's like, okay, I'll go into nursing. When people, when people can't decide on what to do, it's like, okay, I'll go into nursing. She probably did have or show an interest in nursing or possibly show a passion in nursing, and he was like, okay, she's focused on something, but really it's like the first opportunity she gets, she's out.
Speaker 2:That's because that's not what she wanted, that's not her call that's not.
Speaker 1:That's not. That's not really what she wants to do. Because even if you came into money and that is something I am passionate about if I am passionate, about becoming a nurse.
Speaker 1:I'm still going to do it, and now I get to do it in the, because he said I got us a condo that was close to the school and I'm fitting the bill. So all you literally have to do is focus on school. If that was truly a passion of hers, who wouldn't take that opportunity, like my husband? My boyfriend is going to pay for my entire way through school. He conveniently got us a condo that was closed, so I don't even have to travel far. Everything is lined up. All I have to do is go to school and he's taking care of everything.
Speaker 1:But the fact that you now are got put on and you her man in her mind, you're a millionaire, but I'm a millionaire by association, because we already made plans, we've already been talking about marriage and since we're going to be married anyway, it would be the same thing as if we were already married and you became a millionaire. Ergo, that would make me a millionaire. That's how she thinking. She's thinking the same way. So that's why I'm saying, like, if he wants to pursue and move forward, if he wants to move forward, especially with marriage with her, it's going to have to be a conversation that has to be had, and it doesn't necessarily have to be from the perspective of, oh, because you were so ambitious to become a nurse. She wasn't ambitious to become a nurse, I promise you, because she would still be trying to pursue going to nurse. So maybe you can talk to her about if there's. Maybe there's a business that she's always wanted to start. Like, just because you don't go to school for nursing, I was still willing to foot the bill for nursing. But if you want to get into this entrepreneur game or if you want to get into something else, let's talk about your other interests.
Speaker 1:But the point that I'm saying is is that I don't want you just to throw your hands up at life and just be like okay, well, now I'm not going to do anything, because that's also what attracts me to you. What attracts me to you is knowing that you have something that you're pursuing as well, and I want you to be. I want you to be ambitious about something. I want you to have a passion. I want you to be ambitious about something. I want you to have a passion. I want you to follow your dreams or do things that you never thought you could because I am in a particular situation.
Speaker 1:Now if her response to that is I've always wanted to be a stay-at-home-kept wife, then that's a different conversation. I'm going to say just women women more in particular. But what woman would not want the opportunity to simply be a stay-at-home wife and be comfortable, like you make so much money that you're like we are good, we are comfortable and I can pursue all of the things that I want to do without being unencumbered financially Like he's got that. And then he also does something that he genuinely enjoys. He does something that's on a consulting basis, so it's not like he has to be at work nine to five every single day. So he also has a career that pays the bills tenfold Right and that doesn't probably require him to give 60 hours of his attention a week to what person wouldn't want that.
Speaker 2:I would just say this Sometimes being the nice guy will lead you down the road that will enter in resentment because you did not make the tough calls early on when you saw things have a red flags.
Speaker 1:Right, and that's what I'm saying. Like, if it's bothering you now, you have to address it now, because it's only going to get worse If you just choose, if you choose to take your hands off and be like you know what, like she'll come around, she not, she won't, and you're going to know that when y'all start planning for that wedding.
Speaker 2:When you start planning for that wedding, because here's what I think is going to happen she's going to go do something. They're going to get married, then she's going to be pregnant. Then it's going to be wild. It's better if I just be with the kid. Yeah, because it makes sense, and then, once she's in the house with the kid, that's it. She got you.
Speaker 1:That's it.
Speaker 2:Cut your losses now Bye.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to condone that, because he said he still wants to be with her and he still loves her, that he still loves her. That's cute. That's what you say, babe. That's cute.
Speaker 2:They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Speaker 1:No, you are not going to take my saying Cut it out, cut it out, stop it.
Speaker 2:That's not your saying. People been saying that all the time.
Speaker 1:No, I mean people say it, but I say it all the time. You didn't know that phrase or that saying. Don't argue with me, I am the pastor's son.
Speaker 1:Don't argue with your mama. Don't argue with me. I've literally never heard you use it until we were together and until I had told you that I was um, and it's good intentions. I was going to get that tattooed, so whatever, but are you? Are you with your mama? Don't argue with me. Um, let's see. Okay, am I the asshole for punching my ex-husband's new girlfriend? For hitting my daughter?
Speaker 2:No, you're not.
Speaker 1:I'm a 23-year-old female and I have a six-year-old daughter 23?
Speaker 1:23. Okay, six-year-old daughter. I had her at 17 years old with my ex-husband Devon. Devon and I got married at 18 and got divorced at 20 due to him cheating. He doesn't pay a dime financially to support our daughter. I'm our daughter's full-time caretaker. My ex-husband only sees our daughter once a month. I beg him to spend time with her, but I shouldn't have to beg him to be a father. He recently got into a new relationship with his new girlfriend, haley. Ever since Haley entered my ex-husband's life, she's bashed me. She blamed me for our daughter being autistic. She said my daughter is autistic because I coddle her. I do not coddle my child. I legitimately tried my best with the situation. I was dealt.
Speaker 1:My daughter was diagnosed with autism at four years of age. We have her in speech therapy and behavioral therapy. She has a therapist that she sees twice a week. She also has developmental delays. I try to work with her every day on her speech and behavior, etc. Yesterday my daughter went to stay the night at her dad's house. Her dad's girlfriend, haley, was there. She lives there now. My daughter's father called me. He told me to come over and pick her up because she was upset. I went to go pick my daughter up and saw that she had red marks, welts and bruises all over her legs. Hold on now.
Speaker 1:I was pissed and asked what happened. My daughter told me that she had spilled some water on the couch and that Haley got mad at her and began to hit her with a belt. I rushed into the house and I don't know what came over me. I punched Haley in the face and I beat the shit out of her. I didn't even realize it until I had saw her on the floor. Haley wanted to press charges against me, but my ex talked her out of it. I went on to the police station with my daughter right after and I filed a police report. I showed them the bruises, the welts and the marks. I pressed charges for child abuse and reported my husband to CPS for child neglect and abuse.
Speaker 1:I am still shaken up about the situation. I took photos of my daughter's legs and arms. I will never let my daughter go over to her dad's house again. I beat myself up over this all the time. If I knew that hayley would hit my child, I wouldn't have let her go over there in the first place. Am I the asshole? No, no, absolutely not. Back over there. Beat that bitch ass again right, I beat.
Speaker 1:I beat her twice for good measure, but how hard are you hitting? I'm whooping his ass too right, because you let this shit happen.
Speaker 2:Another woman, whoop your child over some water on the couch water on the couch and why are you hitting this baby so hard that you're leaving welts on her for spilling water?
Speaker 1:you already know how she feels about her because she already thinks that, like the mom said, she says that the daughter has autism because she coddles her too much. So essentially she was probably saying she was trying to say the answer yeah, she was basically like saying I'm not gonna call on you, I'm gonna whoop your ass no, and she would have got her ass, would too yeah, she did she better than me, because I would have shot her ass okay, that's. That's a little far, I don't care, no.
Speaker 2:I would have shot your ass. No, okay, let's not promote gun violence Because you hit my child. I don't give a damn who you is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she beat her on her legs. Yeah, but I'm going to say that. Yes, haley also, obviously. But dad, I'm hoping that nigga asked you, dad is getting it, dad is getting it because that's a girlfriend. And even if she wasn't your girlfriend, it is not her responsibility to lay hands. It's not your responsibility to lay hands nobody should be laying hands on the child.
Speaker 2:Devon ain't shit either. Oh no, devon, the nigga name is Devon yeah, I bet you. I bet you anything, cause mama was in love with Devante.
Speaker 1:I bet you anything, cause mama was in love with Devante.
Speaker 2:That was the first red flag I bet you anything his mama was in love with Devante oh my gosh, is that where we're going? Yeah, she came in with Devante is that where we're going?
Speaker 1:but I'm happy she pressed charges and and I'm happy that she took it to CPS and go down there and put him on child support right and put him on child support Right.
Speaker 2:He gonna try to see her, then, well, he's not gonna be able to because now he has a CPS case against him.
Speaker 1:So that's, and she did. I know she did that so she can be like. You don't ever have to worry about this baby right here. You might as well just start from scratch, because she ain't you can. Just it's nay that.
Speaker 2:You and Haley want to be together, so I'm gonna make sure y'all go all the time, all the time y'all got all that, you got right down here at the correctional center y'all go all the time to write each other and talk on the phone because I will be at court.
Speaker 1:And it's funny, because he convinced Haley not to press charges against his baby mama and the first thing she did was go down to the police station and press charges on both of them.
Speaker 2:I love it I love it.
Speaker 1:Yes, you did exactly what you were supposed to do, so hope you learned your lesson.
Speaker 2:Haley Haley Two wrongs, don't make a right.
Speaker 1:Okay. Tonight is the night I'm sorry, okay, I'm just, I was going to wait for you.
Speaker 2:It's all I can do.
Speaker 1:You done?
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, am I the asshole for refusing to let my sister's kids stay with me after she canceled on me last minute? Okay, so, my 29 year old, my 29 year old sister, has three kids 10, seven and five. Last month she asked if I could watch them for a weekend while she and her husband went on a short anniversary trip. I agreed because I love my nieces and nephews, but I made it clear that I needed at least two weeks notices because I work long hours and that I would have to rearrange my entire schedule. Notices because I work long hours and that I would have to rearrange my entire schedule. Fast forward to this past week. I asked my boss for time off. I cleared my weekend and I stocked the house with everything the kids would need.
Speaker 1:Friday afternoon rolls around and I'm waiting for her to drop them off. Suddenly, I get a text from her saying that they're not coming. She decided last minute that they were going to go to a family-friendly resort instead and didn't need me to watch the kids anymore. No apology, just quote-unquote. We'll do it another time.
Speaker 1:I was frustrated because I had completely cleared my weekend, turned down plans with friends and rearranged my entire work schedule for this. I responded by telling her that it wasn't cool to cancel on me last minute like that, especially when I went out of my way to help. Then, two days later, she called me again asking if I could watch the kids the following weekend. Apparently, something came up with her original plan and she needed someone to watch them after all. I told her no, I wasn't available. She got upset and said that I was being selfish and punishing her kids for something that wasn't their fault. Now she's mad at me and my parents are saying that I should be more understanding, because things come up when you're a parent. I don't have kids, but I feel like it's just basic respect not to cancel on someone last minute and then expect them to be available whenever you want. So am I the asshole for refusing to watch my sister's kids after she canceled on me last minute?
Speaker 2:No, you're not an asshole, but it's petty.
Speaker 1:It's not petty, it's petty.
Speaker 2:It's not petty.
Speaker 1:Hold on, First of all teach people how to treat you.
Speaker 2:It's not petty. Okay, say that again.
Speaker 1:You teach people how to treat you, so one more time. You teach people how to treat you.
Speaker 2:So one more time you teach people how to treat you.
Speaker 1:It's not petty, because the thing is is that, for one, you're taking me for granted as your sister?
Speaker 1:Right Because you just automatically assume and you know that I love my nieces and nephews Right no-transcript things going on. She had work, she had plans with friends, she had shit going on, but she loves her nieces and nephews so much and because she's a sister, we try to go out of our ways for our sisters. She rearranged her entire life to accommodate her sister and actually probably looked forward to spending the time with her nieces and nephews. That's the thing too. She looked forward to spending the time with her nieces and nephews and then you were so disrespectful and just completely not thinking that you thought you could just text me the day that you were supposed to drop them off and say, oh, we're going to go to a family-friendly resort, when you already had booked and made plans for the family-friendly resort. That's disrespectful.
Speaker 2:That's taking advantage of me. Let me answer, because you on fire. One you're not the asshole.
Speaker 1:It's petty. You're right, you're not the asshole. I don't think it's petty.
Speaker 2:I do think that the change of plan was not last minute and she should have informed you, because the one thing that irritates me and I'm pretty sure will irritate you, you do not play with my time.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:My time is valuable and she played with your time right Now. You were a little petty. If you didn't have anything to do the following weekend and you told her no, but had nothing to do the following weekend and you told her no. But I get it. Sometimes you got to get your look back and you know, because sometimes people feel like oh well, since you don't have kids, you got the time. Oh gosh.
Speaker 1:That drives. You know how I feel about that. I know I don't want to trigger you.
Speaker 2:You know how I feel about that, right, what was grandpa and grandma doing? Because ain't they what grandparents is for? Because if they got the time to call, you're going to say, hey, you messed up.
Speaker 1:Grandma, are you free? Are you free Because you can watch the children, the 5, 7, and 9-year-olds, because they love their grandparents too. And I'm sure y'all got snacks, y'all old, y'all got snacks. At least some butterscotch and some crackers at least kids like kids like some neopark they got some sherbet too, and some sherbet, and I'm sure they got some juice. I'm sure they got some juice and some butter.
Speaker 1:Oh, I don't, I don't think, I don't think that you were being petty, I think it's also I think it's also one of those things that you have to, like I said, teach people how to treat you. So you have to also reinforce the idea, because obviously she doesn't think that the boundary is there the other sister. But you have to reinforce the boundary that I am not here at your beck and call. I am not like you don't get to call me at the drop of a dime and because it's urgent for you now, you're pushing it off to make it urgent for me and it's not urgent for me.
Speaker 1:It's not urgent for me and I'm sorry and I like I will tell her like if I could I totally would. You know, I want to spend time with my nieces and nephews but unfortunately I can't rearrange this weekend I'm working dad hold on, but you also married, so them kids got two sets of grandparents, hopefully they got auntie and uncle on the other side their father.
Speaker 1:I'm assuming, we're just gonna assume, we don't know, maybe he's an only child and the rest of his family is dead. We don't know. But I'm just gonna go. Yeah, I think about that too, because you know we have an only child, so think about that. Um, but yeah, like are you stuck now? You never thought about that, have you? No, I'm just dark, I'm well. It's possible it could happen, like if his parents are dead and his grandparents are dead, he was an only child so there's no uncle, or not?
Speaker 1:I'm just saying but let's assume that none of that exists. Your husband has an entire other side of the family and if not, your mom, your your mom, he's dad. Y'all gonna have to figure it out so whatever came up. Yeah, maybe you got to take the kids with you.
Speaker 2:I don't know but you're not an asshole, because like you're not an asshole Like my wife said you have to. You have to teach people the value of your time and how to treat you.
Speaker 1:And how to treat you Like I don't.
Speaker 2:But she was a little petty and I like it?
Speaker 1:I don't think it's petty at all I like it. Okay, let's go into the next one.
Speaker 2:Hold on, not her calling you three days later. It's still fresh, the boldness of this.
Speaker 1:She called later and then expected the same result. Right, no, ma'am, okay. This result. Right, no, ma'am, okay. This one is funny. Am I the asshole for letting my kids loot my brother's house? To prove my point, my brother and his family came for a visit last month. My kids and I play with legos and we have fun leaving little diograms around the house Dioramas, I think that's how you say it. Just silly stuff like fights between Iron man and Darth Vader on the Loot Llama. So I guess it's like a.
Speaker 2:Lego. Thing.
Speaker 1:They leave little figurines that are set up to fight and stuff around the house. It's just our way of leaving Easter eggs around our house. My nephew really liked them and he decided to take a few home. When we noticed that they were missing, I asked my brother to bring them back. He said that it was just kids being kids and that he would bring them back. The next time we saw each other. I saw him for coffee and I reminded him beforehand that I wanted all of our stuff back. He quote unquote forgot to bring the quote unquote toys. So I said, okay, game on. We went over to his place for a barbecue before. I told my kids that unless all of our stuff was returned to us when we got there, literally anything in his house was fair game.
Speaker 2:I'm taking the TV Like the godless barbarians that my children are.
Speaker 1:They went to town. When we got there, literally anything in his house was fair game. I'm taking the TV Like the godless barbarians that my children are.
Speaker 2:they went to town, Not the godless barbarians.
Speaker 1:When we left, I don't think there were any remotes, small electronics or beer mugs left at his house. I actually had to sneak the dog back into his house. Before we left the dog, I started getting calls on my way home and I just ignored them. When I got home, I returned all of my brother's calls. He said a bunch of his stuff was missing from his house. I said that I would check with the kids. He said that I fucking well knew what happened and that he wanted his shit back. I said that I would box it all up and return it to him the next time we saw each other as long as we got our Legos back.
Speaker 1:He was at my house with the Legos later that evening. He hadn't accidentally included stuff that wasn't even ours. I returned his stuff. I told him that this is how we would be dealing with his kids in the future. He's pissed off and said that he had to make a special trip to return my stuff to my house. My parents think that it's a huge difference between an eight-year-old taking Lego mini figurines and a couple of teenagers pillaging their uncle's house. Am I the asshole? No, I like this. You gotta make a point. Hold on. You gotta make a point.
Speaker 2:I need to implement this. You gotta make a point. Hold on, you gotta make a point. I need to implement this, you gotta make a point. This is genius. It is genius, and the fact that she called her kids barbarians is hilarious to me.
Speaker 1:She said the godless barbarians that they are the godless barbarians?
Speaker 2:First of all, barbarians are godless by nature.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, but yeah, that's what she said. No, an asshole, I like it. I liked it too.
Speaker 2:I like it and I and I can understand hold on, because what you do, what essentially what you did, was say all right, you don't fuck around to find out but the thing is, this is the problem with the parents saying that there's a difference between an eight-year-old taking legos and your teen children stealing from their uncle's house.
Speaker 1:That's only because you're taking the assumption that the legos, because the legos don't mean anything to you. That's only because you're taking the assumption that the Legos, because the Legos don't mean anything to you. That's the thing. You're assigning the value of things, because to you the Legos, and to your brother, because, how he said, the toys right and kids will be kids, you don't have a value to the Legos.
Speaker 2:And in your mind.
Speaker 1:The Legos are just toys, they're just. It's. He's eight and he took some legos from his auntie's house whoop-dee-doo to me. But I've asked you time and time again to bring the legos back. I even called you before we met with the coffee to bring me my legos, and you still didn't find it important enough to bring the legos. So the only way to make you feel it is to make you feel it, but not they took the damn dog she said I had to sneak the dog back into the house.
Speaker 1:Could you imagine? Could you imagine going to sit down? Okay, so she said electronics and remotes. Can you imagine going to your living room or your bedroom? And now? You're about to relax and what's the first thing you grab when you go into the room? The remote. And you're like, damn, I can't find the remote. Okay, where's the remote. And then you notice, well, damn, where's the dog. And then you go to the living room and you're like, okay, I'm going to watch TV in here. Where is the?
Speaker 2:remote. I would have took the router too. Could you imagine I would be pissed?
Speaker 1:I like this.
Speaker 2:I like that too. I like this. I have a CDP grub with it. Look, here we have a lot of family that watches and listen Going forward. This we have a lot of family that watches and listen going forward.
Speaker 1:This is how we will handle it, please be prepared. Moving forward.
Speaker 2:This is now the new rule in our household. But to me, going back, like you said, I agree with the whole stance of the leggy leggings, the Legos, like the Legos meant something to them because that was part of their thing, that's when someone come over here and drink out of a cup they ain't supposed to.
Speaker 1:Don't get me started, don't put that cup down. You, just, you, just, you just pinched a nerve. Huh, you pinched a nerve look, here we have it's happened we have cups for guests and you know what the response was and we have cups for us and what was the response? That?
Speaker 2:I got, it's just a cup.
Speaker 1:Okay, but you're it's, it's my house, so in my house it's more than cups are not just cups they mean something around here they mean something around here.
Speaker 1:So we, like he said now, like everybody who comes to our home understands, everyone has a very keen understanding you do not drink out of all of our cups. There are cups that we have specifically for guests when they come, and then there is cups that you only look at them. I don't care if they're in the cupboard, I don't care if they're on the countertop, it doesn't matter where the cup is in the house, because we have them all over the place. You do not, under any circumstance, my cups drink out of my cups or anything else?
Speaker 2:The one that the biggest throw off is my favorite cup, which is chips. So I think, oh, this is a chip. No, that's my favorite. You better not touch my damn cup. I know it's chipped.
Speaker 1:I saw your mom drinking coffee out of it one time. I was like, ooh, she was like what I said Reese, that's his coffee cup. Don't touch my cup. You know that y'all only drink cups from the right hand side.
Speaker 2:And the funny thing is we have all these cups in here. We will wash out our favorite cup.
Speaker 1:And use the same cup and use the same cup, and I'm usually using my Stanley or one of my water cups. So yeah, it's a thing in our household. So the whole Lego fix situation we totally understand, we totally get it, and that's why I said you're not wrong. You're not wrong at all.
Speaker 2:Because I got about four cups that went to her mom's garage to die. And when I get a chance and now this has taught me how to deal with it Next time I go to your mama's house I'm taking something.
Speaker 1:Bye Maurice, I'm taking something.
Speaker 2:I don't know what I'm leaving.
Speaker 1:I'm leaving it with something. No, it's gotta be something that like.
Speaker 2:That she uses every day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and when they go to use it and they're thinking to themselves like I know I put it back. I know I put it back when I came.
Speaker 2:I might walk out with the whole goddamn microwave.
Speaker 1:Bye, microwave, bye. Could you? Oh my gosh, that would be such a funny break. You go to put something in the microwave and you're like, where's my damn?
Speaker 2:microwave. I'll be petty, doesn't to take. I wouldn't take the like the cable box, I just take the power cord to the cable box okay bye, that's petty, all right.
Speaker 1:Last one am I the asshole for telling my wife that my life would be better without her? He probably ain't wrong, but go ahead. Okay Bye. My wife Ann and I have been married for 13 years. I'm 43 and she's 46, and we do not have children. When we first began dating, nobody could make me happier like Ann. She always seemed to know exactly the right things to say to me when I was down. But over the past decade or so decade, y'all only been married 13 years.
Speaker 2:That's a decade and three years.
Speaker 1:A decade is not three years.
Speaker 1:I said that's a decade and three years. Oh, yes, that's what I'm saying, but he's saying over a decade he's been having this problem. But over the past decade or so she has really started to show her true colors and a lot of what her ex-husband told me about her has began to make more sense. For example, I have a very high stress job. People bring me problems and I fix those problems, but when I get home nine times out of ten and just adds more problems to throw on my plate, she doesn't work. So she's free to do anything she wants to solve said problems during the day, but lately she's even begun making lists of things that she wants me to do after work all day.
Speaker 1:My biggest issue with Ann is that I can't ever really open up to her about anything. Whenever I talk about something bad that's happened to me, she'll either try to one-up me or agree with the person who wronged me. Last Friday I had a horrible day. There was an enormous problem at work that basically all fell on my shoulders to solve. When I was crossing the street after work, I had a green signal and a bicyclist blew past a red signal and side clipped me. The cyclist yelled explicits at me and then rode away. I thought about calling the police because it was technically a hit and run, but there was probably nothing that they could do.
Speaker 1:When I got home, desperate, I tried to talk to Ann about what happened. She listened and then immediately took the cyclist's side. I reiterated that the cyclist ran through a red light, to which she responded that cyclists aren't obligated to stop, to which she responded that cyclists aren't obligated to stop. When I told her she was wrong and tried to put the issue to rest, she began frantically Googling the law. She found that in our state they can treat lights like a stop sign. She began triumphantly reading the law to me loudly, word for word, getting louder and louder when I kept trying to tell her that I just wasn't interested, you can't blow a stop sign.
Speaker 1:At the end of her spiel she gave me this incredibly arrogant look as if she was right. I just stared at her for a second and then I said that my life would be much better without her. She got incredibly upset, shrieked at me until her voice was hoarse and then packed a bag and left to go stay at her parents. She has texted me all weekend demanding an apology, but I haven't responded. Did I do something unforgivable here?
Speaker 2:No, no, she didn't want to hear your other feelings, so now she heard your true feelings. Now she can't deal with it. I don't think you did nothing wrong. I don't disagree with you. She was an asshole.
Speaker 1:She was an asshole, yeah, Because she was, she was so she was so caught up in trying to be right when he was literally just trying to vent and she made that like a she made it about her.
Speaker 1:No, she didn't make it about her, she just made it she. She made it about her. No, she didn't make it about her, she just made it. She like undermined it. How it made him feel, right, like he was coming home after a really stressful day and he was like I just really want to vent, like I really need a person to talk to, and he thought that that person was his wife. And so he vented to the person which is his wife who, like he said, she doesn't work, she doesn't do anything Right, and instead of her being like oh babe, like I'm really sorry that happened to you today, or even just bullshitting him, being like damn, that cyclist, he was in the effing wrong. You know, like trying to support him in that way, she was like he didn't do nothing wrong, like I'm sorry that that happened to you.
Speaker 2:But he was he. He was within the law because he don't have to stop at red lights Cause he's a cyclist. Her name was Ann. Right, her name was Ann. Yeah yeah, ann lost me with the list.
Speaker 1:The list, oh, making a list of things to put on his plate after he worked a gazillion hours. I can't stand walking into a list walking into a list or just list in general, Because I make honey do lists.
Speaker 2:But I don't like to have a list for you when you walk in the door. Any type of list.
Speaker 1:Okay, note to self no more honey do list.
Speaker 2:Especially list that's going to dictate how I use my free time. Oh, okay, because if you're trying to control my free time, it's not free time to me, no more. And Because if you're trying to control my free time, it's not free time to me, no more. And if I got a clock in here, I might as well just stay clocking at the job, Because at least I ain't got to deal with you at the job.
Speaker 1:Amen.
Speaker 2:Amen, brother. Okay, this has been the red episode. I'm done. I'm done, cut the tape.
Speaker 1:Make sure to cut the tape. I'm done, cut the tape. Make sure to cut the tape. I'm done, cut the tape. No, but yeah, I think that was a messed up move.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're done.
Speaker 1:That was a messed up move.
Speaker 2:Finish your thought no, we're done, go ahead.
Speaker 1:Yeah, anne, I think you were messed up for that Really Get it out, really get it out with you and was messed up for that. Um, you know that he has a high, stressful job. You know that apparently he's like a fixer because I thought he worked with him off you is that what the vibes it was giving?
Speaker 2:yeah, really because he fixed problems I know, but what he?
Speaker 1:well, I guess that would be the appropriate way to say it. If you're putting it on the interwebs, huh, yeah, okay. So he can't say I kill people, shit man. He can't say I kill people. That is true. But if you know, let's assume that he's not part of the mafia. Let's assume that he's not part of the mafia. Let's assume that he does not kill people for a living.
Speaker 2:Okay he works in risk management, but mafia okay, but he has a high stressful job.
Speaker 1:Especially if you know that he has a high stressful job, the last thing you want to do is bombard that man with a list when he comes through the door after working however many hours at work he works and then the last thing you want to do is undermine his feelings, even when he's just trying to confide in you Because, as his wife, like he's already said, that he feels like he can't talk to her Right, so that that that lets me know that he probably hasn't been confiding in her as a woman. As a wife, you know when your man is no longer opening up to you or having vulnerable conversations or trying to, like unload his emotions onto you. So I know she knows that that has been a difference. The opportunity that he came to you with, where he had the chance, where he wanted to confide in you, he wanted to open up and be vulnerable and just like, let it all out. You use that opportunity to be law enforcement right to be the, the, um, the.
Speaker 1:What are those people called the uh?
Speaker 2:they're illegal.
Speaker 1:I don't know I don't know you, but basically, like the law enforcement, like the ticket enforcement people, like she went on google, he said she started googling. She got on Google to look up the laws in their state, to see the, to see the rights that the cyclist had, and then came to him like it came to him with a triumphant face, like proved you wrong.
Speaker 2:Go ahead and give her a list of 10 things I hate about you.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't go that far. But yeah, no, I mean of course you saying, saying it, I'm sure it hurt her obviously like nobody definitely hurt, yeah nobody wants to hear who cares.
Speaker 2:She was being an asshole yeah, nobody.
Speaker 1:Nobody wants to hear. My life would be better without you. And now the it's gonna beg the question like okay, if your life can be so much better without me, do you not want to be with me anymore?
Speaker 2:do not and don't, as my sister would say, and hang up on you.
Speaker 1:Shout out to my sister-in-law I'm gonna hang up on you. So, yeah, sorry about that, bro, but no, I don't.
Speaker 1:I don't think you have said anything that, like you guys, can't come back from you said what you had been feeling and what you felt so but I do think that this is probably something that needed to happen so that we could have the hard conversation about where that came from and about having hard conversations because she don't think she do no wrong well, I mean she might she might be able to be open to have the conversation, because obviously that remark came from somewhere Like for me personally I can't speak for everybody else, but for me personally, if you were to say something like that to me, the first thing that I would think about is, first of all, where's your headspace, your mental space, what, what prompted you to say something like that to me?
Speaker 1:And then it would just open up the conversation, because clearly we need to talk. If you're having feelings of you wish that you think your life would be better without me, like let's have the conversation. I mean, that's the way I look at it, like maybe this needed to happen so that you guys can have the tough conversation, so that you can sit down and you can tell her where you're coming from and where that remark came from. And you never know, this might be the conversation that turns things around.
Speaker 2:Doubtful Okay.
Speaker 1:Doubtful, oh okay. Well, that's your opinion, we all have them.
Speaker 2:Like assholes.
Speaker 1:Yep, I can't. All right, guys, this has been another episode of the life after I do podcast. If you are not doing so already, you already know the drill. Follow us on all of our social media platforms the TikTok, the Instagram, the YouTube, the Facebook. We do not have an OnlyPans, but if they come on board, we will get on board as well. You get a new episode every single Wednesday, so don't forget to tune in. Like, share, subscribe to us on YouTube. Comment. We love hearing you guys' feedback.
Speaker 1:So don't forget to tune in, like, share, subscribe to us on YouTube, comment. We love hearing you guys' feedback, and you can also write in to us at lifeafteridopodcast at gmailcom. And until then, booskies.
Speaker 2:Peace booskies.
Speaker 1:Peace booskies.
