Life After I Do Podcast
Marriage and relationships can be tough. You may feel like you’re the only one struggling but you’re not. Life After I do is a weekly podcast where Morice and Kynesha, a black married millennial couple, share their experiences and advice on everything from kids and family to intimacy and connection. Noting is off limits.
In their 21 years together and 7 years of marriage, Morice and Kynesha have learned a lot about what it takes to make a relationship work. They know the importance of communication, trust and commitment. They also know it’s okay to not have it all figured out.
Join them every Wednesday as they talk about their own journey of “Life After I do”.
Life After I Do Podcast
Our 2 Cents Vol. 9
Our favorite reaction segment is back, we're diving into "Our 2 Cents." Join us as we react to a variety of stories and scenarios from across the internet. Tune in for our takes, laughs, and insights—don’t miss out!
And then I decide you know what? They have a VIP room and I want to see what daddy shake like just for me. And I go to the room and I'm getting lap dances from a fully naked, fully naked male who's got like six and seven, eight packs, who is like packing.
Speaker 2:You've been thinking about this, huh.
Speaker 1:I'm just setting the scenario up for you because I just want to make sure that you know it don't change. Like your opinion don't change and um, and I have found a new appreciation for going to these establishments and I become a regular VIP member, so I'm getting lab dances even on the house, like on Thursdays. Hey everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Life After I Do. I'm your host, nisha G aka KA Kynesha, and I'm here with my husband, as always.
Speaker 2:A bees in the trap, the incredible, undeniable Molitho. Somebody take care of Kenny. Somebody take care of Kenny. What my boy Kenny. What take care of Kenny? What my boy Kenny. What my boy Kenny. From From.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, Cut it out. If you guys aren't watching From on, what is it, MGM?
Speaker 2:No matter what, don't worry, we're not getting paid.
Speaker 1:Don't play it, I know, but I like it. It's a good show, my boy Kenny. Now why do you I? Feel for you, you keep mentioning it and bringing it up.
Speaker 2:Oh, my gosh they keep filling the blanks.
Speaker 1:Hey Bo'skees, Hi babe, how you doing.
Speaker 2:I'm Gucci, baby. How you doing, I'm wonderful, how was?
Speaker 1:your day. My day was good. Actually Got to hang out with my mom.
Speaker 2:Really Mm-hmm, that's fun. That's funny because tomorrow will come and, girl, I can't wait, it's our dating anniversary.
Speaker 1:I was going to try to come up with something cute, but it's our dating anniversary. So happy 22nd year of dating babe. Tomorrow will be no secret at the end of the day, I don't even have my water to have my water break while he sings Anniversary Okay that's enough. So yeah, today I don't even have my water to have my water break while he sings Anniversary.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's enough, so yeah today, the end of the day is our anniversary.
Speaker 1:Are you done?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm done. Okay, it's our anniversary.
Speaker 1:I'm done. I can't Happy. 22nd dating anniversary.
Speaker 2:I've been putting up with you for 22 years. I feel like I should have as many medals as Simone at this point, because I've been dipping and dodging and flipping and vaulting. I've been doing mental gymnastics over here.
Speaker 1:Okay, happy anniversary babe. Happy anniversary booskies, so, so Tell me how these past 22 years have been for you.
Speaker 2:It's been a roller coaster.
Speaker 1:Right. A roller coaster of love.
Speaker 2:Sorry about that. It's been a roller coaster of life, right, a roller coaster of love. Sorry about that. It's been a roller coaster of life, right Life and life.
Speaker 1:Life and life.
Speaker 2:But at the end of the day I wouldn't do it with anybody else.
Speaker 1:Really Aw shucks.
Speaker 2:Yeah, wouldn't do it with anybody else.
Speaker 1:I feel the same babe.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, I do.
Speaker 1:I do. I feel the same.
Speaker 2:You literally cussed me out. You literally cussed me out before we started recording.
Speaker 1:I did not.
Speaker 2:You said make your own plate.
Speaker 1:I literally did not say that. I literally did not say that.
Speaker 2:You said you need to make your own plate.
Speaker 1:No, I said that you have been sitting there for 30 minutes and I was busy. And then, when I stopped being busy, you're like oh yeah, I'm hungry. You've been sitting there doing nothing for 30 minutes.
Speaker 2:I was working on my dynasty. It's important I'm trying to build my program to a five-star program. Okay, I got Alabama in a couple weeks. My boys got to be prepared to play.
Speaker 1:Your fantasy football.
Speaker 2:No, my dynasty, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:How was your?
Speaker 2:week, babe. My week was good. It was not productive.
Speaker 1:No, something in your eye.
Speaker 2:It really is.
Speaker 1:Because you ain't going to have no eyeball after you keep digging in your eye like that it was not productive, okay.
Speaker 2:So was it a good week then it was a good week, but this week I let any minor inconveniences. Let me go back to watching TV. So you did yes, oh, I tried.
Speaker 1:I tried dang, I hope.
Speaker 2:I got 10 more episodes of Resident Alien. Let me catch up sometimes you need those oh man, I was just gonna do that, but my anime just dropped. Let me go watch this episode real quick.
Speaker 1:Dang, I was finna go to the gym Right no.
Speaker 2:I went to the gym. I went to the gym.
Speaker 1:No, you did go to the gym. We went to the gym.
Speaker 2:I'm going to be there.
Speaker 1:That's one place I am going to be Going to be, except for last night.
Speaker 2:Well, that's because.
Speaker 1:We. So I had told him going to the gym in the evening is kind of like a hit or miss, usually more like a miss, because all the people who like get off work, they go to the gym. Like people either go before work or they go after work. You know, and the time that we normally go is like a good time. It's like people are either just leaving to go for work or they're already at work, so we usually have a good amount of space.
Speaker 2:And the gym we go to is really large we get that, uh, that in between, like the the five o'clockers are leaving and the the six, seven o'clockers are about done, yeah, what they're doing right.
Speaker 1:So um last night we were like, oh, let's go get an evening workout in, and I told somebody was sick, so we couldn't.
Speaker 2:It was morning.
Speaker 1:Right it was gonna be. It was gonna be a hit or a miss, you know. So we, we gear up, we're yeah, let's go get this workout in it's evening. I was like, yeah, it's nighttime. We pull into the parking lot. At first we were like, does it feel a little busy to you? No, it was busy. But we were like, okay, the parking lot is usually full and then we walk in and it's still kind of like everyone's spread out saw a ton of people like walking in one behind the other one and everybody was in pairs and groups last night. I think that's why it was so busy too, because, like, I didn't see not anybody who wasn't in a pair or a group last night and so we walk in freaknik 99 right, we walk in, we check in and we look at the like the whole overview of the gym.
Speaker 1:Even the swimming pool was full. I was like that's how I know the gym is packed. When, when there's more than like five people in the pool, the gym is packed. And so we looked and we're like, okay, let's just see if we can get some equipment. And he's like, if I can't find two, uh, two, uh, what was it? The bench presses? He was like, if I can't find two bench presses, we leave it.
Speaker 1:So we walk over and I mean the place is packed with nothing free nothing, literally nothing like the treadmills were filled up, so you know there's always an abundance of treadmills and stairmasters.
Speaker 2:There was one stairmaster.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's always an abundance of stairmasters and treadmills, and so I walk in and I told them I was like this feels more like a club, because it was a lot, and they were the ones that were like in the groups, you know. And when I passed by there was a group of young people. The girls were in full blown makeup. I'm talking lined lips, bold lips eyeliner lashes I was perfectly fine.
Speaker 1:But then when you look over to the to the right, and you see all the giggling and stuff that's happening because they're playing on the machines, that's where I'm kind of like you guys are wasting. You're wasting, you know what I mean. Like you're sitting there making fun of her because she can't do the lat pull down and everyone thinks it's funny and they're giggling, and then they're like doing their social media and stuff and I'm like dude, like some of us really want to use the equipment.
Speaker 2:You never asked. So really want to use the equipment, so we left. You never answered the question. What question? How has the 22 years been for you?
Speaker 1:You didn't ask me the question.
Speaker 2:No, I'm asking.
Speaker 1:Okay, but I'll answer it.
Speaker 2:It's been great. How's your week? I'm such a delight.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're a D something I don't know, okay, I don't know if it.
Speaker 2:I don't know it's D-Lite You're going to be on.
Speaker 1:D-Block. No, it's been great, babe. I love you. It's been the most challenging and rewarding 22 years of my life.
Speaker 2:It's been the best 22 years of your life.
Speaker 1:Sure yes.
Speaker 2:There's not a 22-year period in your life that I'm not involved in.
Speaker 1:That's a good one, babe. That's a good one, but anywho, so you know what it is. It's the beginning part of the month and um. Oh, I told you. Well, I told you about my day. My week was pretty good. Um, I did do a little bit of uh binging with you on Netflix.
Speaker 2:Can we say shout out to our friends Kevin and Amanda for having us over.
Speaker 1:Shout out to Kevin and Amanda for having us over this past weekend. That was really really cool, he was there all day. He smoked some meat and it was.
Speaker 2:A1. Don't you ever comment on Amanda's meat in front of me?
Speaker 1:Oh sorry, my bad Pause. Pause, he made ceviche too. It was good, that's fine.
Speaker 2:Okay, it was imitation crab, though.
Speaker 1:I know, but it was still good yeah.
Speaker 2:But yeah, so shout out to Amanda and.
Speaker 1:Kevin, it was really nice. Thank you for having us over my best friend. Gracie, yes, and I worked this weekend, so that was pretty fun.
Speaker 2:You did a little something something. So that was pretty fun. You did a little something something. You know it ain't like you was out there really sweating, you know a little something something.
Speaker 1:Wow, you did a little something something. Is that toxic or what guys? You see how he just completely undermined it Like you see how he did that. Did y'all see how he did that?
Speaker 2:The results were nice. It was a little something, something Toxic much little light work little light work. Social media will call you toxic if I didn't know any better.
Speaker 1:I would be like, oh, I'm already there. I'm already there, so it don't matter. I'm already there, so it don't matter but yeah, I worked this weekend, so that was really fun. I work next weekend and the weekend after that. I just realized that I booked all my weekends for like the next two and a half weeks mom, why do you have to work?
Speaker 1:She always says that she was like where are you going? I was like Phoenix, I'm going to work. What? Whose makeup are you doing? I was like I'm doing our friend Adrienne's makeup. Tell her. I said hi, don't forget to take pictures. I was like okay, phoenix.
Speaker 2:She needs proof that you're doing what you said you're going to do.
Speaker 1:She just likes it.
Speaker 2:She don't believe nothing.
Speaker 1:we said Just like when I did Vaz. She was like Mom. Her makeup looked so pretty. I was like thank you, baby.
Speaker 2:She be gassing you up, she's.
Speaker 1:I love her, but yeah, so my week was good and my week was productive and bingey at the same time. Thanks, thank you for picking up what I put down. So I appreciate that team player here and thank you for really picking up what I put down, because when I had mentioned to you that I don't want to have to mention where I need help, I just want you to take the initiative and you really did that and I appreciate it and you made a plan and you made a plan and you told me what the plan was going to be, and I really, really loved that because that took the mental load off of me.
Speaker 2:And I was like thanks.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you do have toxic traits. I think you know.
Speaker 2:You just showcased one of them Sensational.
Speaker 1:Okay, anywho, like I was saying before, it's the beginning of the month, so you guys know what that is. It is a reaction episode, one of my favorite episodes where we can just kind of like have fun, have some open discussion about some things that we've seen floating around the internet and have our reactions to so this is an hour two sits um episode you should have been that comes every beginning of the month, guys.
Speaker 1:Okay, so I'm just gonna go ahead and hop right on into it. These are blind reactions for you, because I don't think I shared any of them with you, because I wanted to just kind of like get a really good. I like his reactions. Y'all know my husband like drama, so I'm a logical human being yeah, you are. You're a logical human being anywho, but let's go ahead and just kind of dive right on into it, okay all here we go.
Speaker 1:So the first one is an. Am I the asshole? All right, you ready? So am I the asshole for walking out on my date as soon as she told me that she has five kids with three different fathers?
Speaker 1:I was on a first date with a woman who said she was 32 that I met on an online dating site. I met her at the restaurant and first thing that I noticed was that she looked a little, that she looked very little like her pictures. I wouldn't call it a catfish, but she did wonders with her angle choices and her usage of filters to present herself as best as possible in her profile. The deception instantly turned me off, but I decided to proceed with the date anyway. After our drinks arrived, but before the food arrived, while getting to know each other, she tells me that she has five kids. I know from our brief online interaction that she has never been married, so I pretty bluntly asked her if they all had the same father, and she said no. She doesn't say how many baby daddies she has unprompted so so I blatantly asked how many men? She seemed embarrassed to answer, but then said three. My response was wow, and we both sat there in silence for about 30 seconds as I desperately tried not to burst into laughter.
Speaker 1:I'm not sure why I found the situation so funny. Maybe it was a nervous tick. I tell her quote I don't see this going anywhere. I leave enough money on the table for the drinks and the food I ordered and walked out with any further conversation. I wanted to say you should disclose you have five kids with three different men on your profile to prevent from wasting people's time. But I didn't want to add insult to injury, knowing I was about to walk out. I suppose I could have asked before meeting her. I'm the asshole.
Speaker 1:I mean kind of I I do, I do see his point, but in this situation itself, I, I see your point, but I don't think you should have walked out.
Speaker 2:I think you probably should have just finished the date. Finished the date, I mean, who knows, you might end up. She might have been a nice friend, you know right. So finish the. I would have said. I say you should have finished the date. Maybe had a conversation, you guys maybe had a similar. Just let her know, yeah, going forward, I don't want nothing to do with you romantically.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, you don't have to say it like that, going forward, I don't want to have nothing to do with you romantically. You could just say like I think you're a nice woman, you know, but unfortunately we're on different paths of our lives right now.
Speaker 2:That's exactly what I just said, but I said it in a nicer way baby, you still can be nice you still can be nice to people.
Speaker 1:Like you don't think that she's going out into the world knowing her status of being a single mother with five children and three different fathers. The minute that she gets in conversation with most men and they find out that information, they're probably like oh.
Speaker 2:Three different fathers, that's wild.
Speaker 1:But you don't know the circumstances behind it. I don't.
Speaker 2:But it's wild.
Speaker 1:I think it's a little judgmental. But I mean, like I said, I can understand from his perspective, but I do think it's a little bit judgmental because you don't know, like what happened if all three of those fathers were men. She was married to what is? One of them died. Oh, he said that she hadn't been married. You're right, okay never mind.
Speaker 2:And her 304 days were stuck with her okay.
Speaker 1:Well, what if like one passed away or something and the thing is my boy got got standards there ain't nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 2:Not at all, not at all. It's just a lot of times that women get hurt when the standards don't align with them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but it would work the same way if she was on the other foot. If he was a man with five kids and three different baby mamas, she would be like I'm not trying to be another player on the list again.
Speaker 2:I always said you have to be um very careful about who you sleep with and who you uh um produce spawn with okay, that's a little weird spawn. That's what that's really.
Speaker 1:You are my spawn but I think also they were on a dating site and I do feel as though, before you meet in person, I mean my, my logic of thinking you should have had this conversation before you. Right, because if it's something that's a deal breaker for you, like, the first thing I'm going to put up front is my deal breakers.
Speaker 1:My deal breaker is that, ok, if you have children and children are not a deal breaker for me but the amount of children you have is a deal breaker. We don't have to take this any further.
Speaker 2:Let's talk about the real issue. The real issue was I may have sort of kind of kind of could have messed with you if you look like your pictures that too, but you gonna show up here and show me that, oh, you've been hitting them angles.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you don't look like your picture. You been hitting them angles.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you don't look like your picture you got five children and you have three children and them filters been filtering?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you know how people get with them filters.
Speaker 2:Oh, I know them filters get. I know a couple people.
Speaker 1:You know who I'm talking about. Them filters be working.
Speaker 2:I'm like you do not look like that in person.
Speaker 1:Shut up, babe. You do not look like that in person.
Speaker 2:You are lying to the world. You should stop perpetrating. I got an eyelash attack in me like a mug.
Speaker 1:Okay, ready for the next.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's go.
Speaker 1:Okay. Am I the asshole for refusing to give up my vacation days so my co-worker can go on her honeymoon? Not at all. That's not my problem. I work at a small company where vacation time is pretty limited and we have to request it months in advance. I put in my request almost a year ago to take a two-week vacation during the holidays. My plan was to visit family who live out of the country, something I only get to do once every few years.
Speaker 1:Recently, a coworker of mine who's getting married came up to me and asked if I'd be willing to give up my vacation days so she could go on her honeymoon. She apparently didn't realize how quickly the days would fill up and waited too long to request her day off. Now the only way she can go is if someone cancels, and since I have one of the longest vacation blocks, she came to me first. I told her that I was really sorry, but I can't give up my time. The trip means a lot to me and it's the only that. I was really sorry, but I can't give up my time.
Speaker 1:The trip means a lot to me and it's the only time I can see my family this year. She wasn't happy and told me that I was being selfish for not accommodating her once-in-a-lifetime event. Now a few other co-workers are chiming in suggesting that I could be more flexible, since I don't have a quote-unquote special circumstance like a wedding. I feel bad, but I also planned this trip in advance and it's important to me. Am I the asshole for not giving up my vacation so she can go on her honeymoon?
Speaker 2:No, you look her dead in her eye and you say your lack of preparation does not qualify as an emergency to me.
Speaker 1:No, I'm not going to do it.
Speaker 2:I have been planning it and I want to see my family, yeah, which is important to me. That's important to me. Because I get to do this every so often.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, you're not the only way.
Speaker 2:I'm canceling this trip is if you come with some dollars on the table Now.
Speaker 1:if you pay me out for the amount of vacation period time that I'm going to be paid out for and I still get paid my vacation maybe we can talk and two of these co-workers that's coming to you, tell them to cancel their shit, or why don't they all come together and give her time?
Speaker 2:No, she got the time. How about they come together and do a little bit of her work so she can take the days off? Right? How about they come together and do a little bit of her work so she can?
Speaker 1:take the days off Right, take a little bit of her responsibility.
Speaker 2:Right Cover her shifts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you are not an asshole, sir.
Speaker 1:But then for you to say that you didn't realize time would fill up quickly and you forgot. That's not my problem. No, we are adults here. You want me to accommodate you for your mistake. Listen, if you knew the date when you were getting married, when you had that date and then you knew, you had an idea as to when you guys might be taking a honeymoon, you should have had a book lock. That's when you should have put everything in you should have had it down.
Speaker 1:Because guess what? I'm sure you didn't wait a few weeks before your wedding to look for your dress. You didn't wait a few weeks to look for a photographer or a videographer or a makeup artist or a hairstytist or a venue or the colors you were going to get married. You didn't wait that long, babe, but you waited that long for your job.
Speaker 2:Right, that's going to be a hard one and my thing I don't understand why women think like, oh, it's my wedding getting married.
Speaker 1:I'm not.
Speaker 2:I'm not.
Speaker 1:Right, and especially if we're not even close like that, Like I don't, I am in no way shape or form entitled to do anything for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's gonna be a hard no, it really angers me when people think that their life is more important than your life and that I should understand that what I got planned is important to me. Yeah, so I'm not going to say forget me for you.
Speaker 1:You better sit down. I'm pretty sure she already sacrifices enough time, energy and mental capacity for the job that you guys work at Right. I'm not going to sacrifice my time that I put in that's entitled to me. You better call in sick boo-boo yeah, because I'm. If you got some other type of PTO some sick time, I don't know.
Speaker 2:You better call in sick. I don't know what to tell you, I really don't. You better call in sick.
Speaker 1:You better hope that your future husband makes pretty decent money that y'all you got to put your own life vest on first, that's what I always tell people sir it was no, it was a woman oh shit you have to put your own life vest on first, because, let me tell you, if she was on the other foot and she wasn't even getting married, she was just going to a music festival and you needed to go see your dying grandmother. She would say I bought tickets like months ago and I already put the time in and my tickets are non-refundable. So go see your family. Enjoy your two-week vacation. And live your life and when you come back, wave at her, say hi to her, be nice to her, because I have no hard feelings.
Speaker 2:Show her all the pictures.
Speaker 1:Like I'm not going to be petty about it either.
Speaker 2:Take plenty of pictures and show her.
Speaker 1:Okay, here we go. Here's the next one. All right, I'm a 42-year-old female. My husband is 45. He went to a fully nude strip club two days in a row on a work trip. Is this cheating?
Speaker 2:No, not yet, Okay, not yet Okay.
Speaker 1:Not yet Okay. My husband, who's 45, went to a fully new strip club two days in a row while on a two-day work trip. The only reason I found this out is his business partner's wife sent me screenshots of the thousands of dollars spent. He, of course, lied to me. I found out that he went back into a VIP room and had a lap dance maybe several, who really knows, since he is a liar. We were in Vegas three years ago for a sporting event with our two children and he went to one. While we were there and while I slept in our room with our kids, he lied and it almost destroyed our marriage. He promised me he would never do it again.
Speaker 1:Yet here we are. I'm a 42-year-old female and I feel like this is disgusting behavior for a middle-aged man with a wife and an 18-year-old daughter and a 15-year-old son. Why is this so enticing to men? We have a happy marriage, have great sex, so it doesn't happy marriage, have great sex, so it doesn't. We have a happy marriage and a great sex life, so don't try to blame me. I made him leave and honestly, I feel like the VIP room is cheating. If I did this to him, he would consider it to be cheating? Does a strip club really excuse this? I don't know what to do. Hmm, I got a lot of thoughts. I'm a lot of thoughts I want to hear all of them.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna let you go first. No, I want to hear all your thoughts. Let you go first go. I want to hear your thoughts. Yes, first of all, I don't think it's cheating. Okay, which part? All of it, the vip, the lab dance the strip club.
Speaker 2:Well, he's a lab dance.
Speaker 1:He's in a strip club yeah, but I mean going to the vip room he could have got a private dance. Yeah, that's what I'm asking.
Speaker 2:You don't consider that cheating I don't consider that cheating if it was just a dance, Now if there's other things involved.
Speaker 1:It was in a VIP room a private room with another woman. It's possible, alone, who was naked.
Speaker 2:It's possible, alone, he was in a room for the woman that was naked.
Speaker 1:That don't want you to like glaze over I'm not glazing and be like oh yeah, but he was in a bigger room with a bunch of people and naked women. But we're, we're. I'm just trying to clarify that you don't consider either situation cheating I don't say I don't think it was cheating.
Speaker 2:I do feel like he was being. I'm dishonest to you because you guys said because he, because you said previously that he said he would not attend any other, so that part was wrong. He was honest. I don't necessarily think he was cheating. Now if he went back there, he engaged in activity that he wasn't supposed to Supposed to. Then, yes, he was cheated and I was going to say your sex life may be great to you.
Speaker 1:You don't know what it is to him well, I'm pretty sure they probably've had that conversation considering that something like this has happened before because she, because it seems like she genuinely wants to know what keeps in tight, like, like she said, look here.
Speaker 2:Why is this?
Speaker 1:enticing to men. I mean it should be obvious why it's enticing there's.
Speaker 2:There's a saying, there's a saying, and it says the only thing better than good sex or actually the word is not sex the only thing better than good vajayjay is new vajayjay.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Because it's the thrill of not knowing what it's going to be Right, right, and I think that's not knowing what it's going to be.
Speaker 1:Yes, so a lot of times when you've been with someone you know, 22 plus years.
Speaker 2:Good damn by Maurice. Good damn, you know. You know. A lot of times you become just like how you can become desensitized to other things.
Speaker 1:You can become desensitized to the same vajayjay, the same vajayjay.
Speaker 2:The same vajayjay.
Speaker 1:Yes and the same pinochle, right, right.
Speaker 2:So a lot of times it's like you know, a lot of men prefer to do that because it's something different, it's something exotic that they wouldn't necessarily experience. I think it's the fantasy, right, right. That's why I say exotic, right, yes. So that's why a lot of men do it. Now, me personally, I'm not giving my money to nobody unless she giving up them draws, so you ain't gotta worry about me.
Speaker 1:You ain't gotta worry about me. If you go to a strip club and you get a VIP room, you can come across a woman who's willing to give up the draws.
Speaker 2:I'm not paying for it.
Speaker 1:That's not difficult.
Speaker 2:But I'm not paying for it.
Speaker 1:That's the thing I'm not paying for yeah, but there's no, but there is no minimum for like how much money you're gonna put in her g-string. You can just tell her. You could just be like I can give you a little something extra. She don't know what that little something extra gonna be. She might quote you a price I'm telling you, I'm sure, you can find a woman who won't quote you a price and you would be like I can slide you something a little extra if you're willing to sit on my lap and she'd be like all daddy.
Speaker 2:I'm telling you right now, as your husband, you ain't ever gotta worry about me giving no type of woman, no type of money for no damn damn.
Speaker 1:So you would do it for free. I ain't doing it for free.
Speaker 2:You ain't getting nothing out of me, pimp.
Speaker 1:I'm not there, I think strip clubs are a waste of money, not unless you're scooting the money underneath your table and picking it up. That's stealing, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:So, ma'am, I don't think that he.
Speaker 1:Do you consider it cheating, yes or no? I don't Okay.
Speaker 2:I don't Now. I know you will.
Speaker 1:Okay. Well, let me ask you this. Let me ask you this okay, if the roles were reversed, you don't consider it to be cheating? If the roles were reversed, you don't consider it to be cheating. I find a newfound appreciation for going to adult-only establishments that involve fully naked gentlemen, and I enjoy going there three to four times a week, whether I'm giving them money or not. And then I decide you know what? They have a VIP room and I want to see what Daddy Shake like just for me, and I go to the room and I'm getting lap dances from a fully naked male who's got like six and seven, eight packs, who is like packing. You've been thinking about this.
Speaker 2:Huh, I'm just setting the scenario up for you, because I just want who's got like six and seven eight packs who is like packing?
Speaker 1:I'm just setting the scenario up for you Cause I just, I just want to make sure that you know it don't change. Like your opinion don't change. And and I have found a new appreciation for going to these establishments and I become a regular VIP member, so I'm getting lab dances even on the house, like on.
Speaker 2:Thursdays Because I'm a regular. You put a lot on it because he wasn't a regular.
Speaker 1:But he does this regularly. No, he didn't. Yes, no, because they had this issue three years ago, and then he has already lied about what she did find out about, so we can already assume that he's done more since the three years right, we're not going to assume. We're going to say what's in there, okay, in any case, if the roles were reversed, would you consider it to be me cheating if I was?
Speaker 1:going to a strip club to watch Fully Naked Men and going into a VIP room as a married woman with a naked man on my own where no one could see what we were doing. Yes or no? Don't explain it, just yes or no. If you do not, here you go engage I can. Yeah, we're not gonna have sex and anything sexual getting a lap dance is sexual.
Speaker 1:Maurice, are you kidding me, have you? No, okay, have you. Have you ever received a lap dance from me and not got aroused? Yeah, no, in in the mood that we were going for, not in in like a playful mood, but in the mood where I was intentionally trying to entice you into sexual activity. Okay, were you or were you not turned on? Yes or no, don't explain it. You were right, yeah, okay. Therefore, you were sexually aroused. I was doing something that was considered sexual or in a sexual manner.
Speaker 2:There's a.
Speaker 1:Ergo.
Speaker 2:Okay, there's a difference between cheating and inappropriate behavior. Was it appropriate for him to do these things? No, in your scenario, is it appropriate for you to do these things? No, but it's not cheating because you haven't.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I forgot. It's just like the whole tug thing. I can kiss another man, but if I use the second, the second, I use the second marriage is over. It's too intimate. That's, I'm out. So he didn't draw the line. I don't know if you guys this was a few episodes back, but apparently my husband said that he would still be willing to work things out with me.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, because he kissed you If another man kissed me okay and we were just like locking lips because we worked together and we spent a lot of time together.
Speaker 2:And they're mine.
Speaker 1:And he said that he could work through that. We could work through that, but the minute that he finds out that that man put his tongue in my mouth, he said the marriage is over Anytime. That man Do you hear this?
Speaker 2:I can't with you, because if he inserts, in a place where I've only I don't know what to do with you at times.
Speaker 1:Then I'm like I'm out, Okay. So let me get this straight for my own understanding. I could kiss men. We can work on our marriage. No, I can get lap dances from fully naked men in private rooms and my husband will not consider that cheating as long as I tell him nothing sexual. Getting the lap dance from a naked man Nothing sexual went on.
Speaker 2:But here's the thing If his penis statue is sexual, but me looking at his penis.
Speaker 1:It's not sexual. Him wagging his penis in front of me and trying to entice me and turn me on is not sexual.
Speaker 2:As long as his penis. Don't touch your skin.
Speaker 1:I'm happy I'm finding out these boundaries in my marriage. I really am Thank you, I appreciate it.
Speaker 2:Oh, so you want to go do this?
Speaker 1:No, I just need to know I know who you're going to go with too.
Speaker 2:I ain't going to say no names publicly, but you got a list of whores when you're friends.
Speaker 1:My friends are not whores. Thank you very much.
Speaker 2:I don't want to list all of them.
Speaker 1:You don't want to list all of them. You don't want to, okay, I mean, my friends aren't hoovers, but it's nice to know where you stand on that. That's inappropriate, yeah.
Speaker 2:No, I agree, I would be upset. It is inappropriate, it is inappropriate.
Speaker 1:It is inappropriate.
Speaker 2:Because I wouldn't do it. But see, you say these scenarios like I would do things like this.
Speaker 1:I'm you may not be maybe thinking about is any time where your trust is called into play. No.
Speaker 2:I think about that.
Speaker 1:Because if he's doing these things now, you're making me question your trust and your loyalty to me. Okay, and once I question your trust and loyalty to me that's the equivalent of us having like one foot out.
Speaker 2:But see, my thinking is like he ain't gotta go to a strip club to get a private dance.
Speaker 1:But that's where he's choosing to go, because he likes the strip clubs, he likes to see he could be getting a reach around at work. He likes to see ass and titties. Who don't?
Speaker 2:Pop it.
Speaker 1:Okay, DeVille.
Speaker 2:It's all there. It's all there. It's older as everyone, as as as.
Speaker 1:Okay, you're doing too much okay, um, so okay, let's move on to the next one. This one says am I the asshole for not letting my parents bring my brother to my child free wedding wedding? How old is her brother? Let's find out. My fiance, who's 29, and I myself, who's 30, decided early on that we wanted a child-free wedding. We love kids, but we wanted our big day to be an adult-only celebration. My parents, however, are upset because they want to bring my younger brother, who's 13. He's much younger than me and they say it's unfair to exclude him from such a family event. I explained that the rule applies to all kids and not just him, but they're insisting that it's different because he's family. My fiance is standing firm on the child-free policy and I don't want to go back on our decision, but my parents are now threatening not to attend if my brother isn't allowed. Am I the asshole for sticking to the child-free rule?
Speaker 2:Not at all.
Speaker 1:It's your day, I mean— Hold on, go ahead, it's your day, it is.
Speaker 2:And just how I told a girl a couple of scenarios ago that you better call on sick, tell your parents they better live with it. It's their, it's your day.
Speaker 1:Now if they was helping, pay for it you might got to put a little wiggle room in, but that's what I was thinking.
Speaker 2:I was like, did they? Help pay for it If they helping to pay for it. You might have to put a little wiggle room in there because you don't want that funding to get cut.
Speaker 1:Well, she didn't mention that they were helping to pay. I think that would be something that the parents would bring up right away, like you're going to tell me that your little brother can't come when we paid for half of the wedding Also.
Speaker 2:I feel like when people do this this is just my opinion when they do what weddings? I feel like this is a grossy, uh disrespectful, especially when you have nieces and nephews and you know like come on now and then, because on the flip side of that, if everybody with kids couldn't find a babysitter and didn't show up and now you have all these open tables that you've paid for, you'd be mad about that yeah, but typically when you get a wedding invite, it's you get to save the date.
Speaker 1:so there is plenty of preparation. However, we know how people are, yeah, and people will wait to the last minute. And when they can't find a babysitter, after they've had to save the date for the past six months and they've had six months to find child care and they wait the week before and now they can't find anybody, then they be like, oh, we.
Speaker 2:they'd be like, oh, we're gonna have to renege on that rsvp it ain't my fault, okay stop it so yeah, um, I think I mean it's a touchy one, because it's her brother, it's her little brother, he's not.
Speaker 1:He's not an adult, he's not an adult. So does that mean you guys didn't have a ring bearer and a flower girl? Apparently? Not no kids? Yeah, that's true, I mean. But what if it's like does that include the? No kids because I could see like the wedding ceremony and if she's pregnant she better not show up the wedding ceremony everybody there and then maybe the reception I said if she's pregnant, she better not show up. Bye. I could see like maybe having everyone there for the wedding ceremony and then the reception be adult only you know, okay, but who's going to come out?
Speaker 2:But then again, who's going to?
Speaker 1:watch a little, bro. Well, he's 13.
Speaker 2:He can stand on by himself. I'm not going to drive an hour and a half or for 20 minutes.
Speaker 1:Right, because how are you going to get rid of the kids that quick? So that means no kids was at the wedding or the wedding reception.
Speaker 2:But you're not an asshole your standards.
Speaker 1:It's your day, yeah.
Speaker 2:Your standards are your standards. If people don't like them, they can live their lives how they want to live their life, but they don't let their decisions impact your decisions.
Speaker 1:And especially if that's something you and your fiance already agreed upon and he's standing firm.
Speaker 2:You then can't go back and make an exception just for your parents and your little brother, unless they're paying for half the wedding, then you need to have a conversation with your fiance and be like look.
Speaker 1:But what if they already paid for it? Like you know, things like that is non-refundable.
Speaker 2:Look here, this is how you do it.
Speaker 1:He finna tell you how to do it guys.
Speaker 2:You go to your fiance and you say, look here, my parents won't come unless my little brother comes. And I think it's an acceptable exception to make because I would really love for my father to walk me down the aisle. That means a lot to me If you pull that card he may come around and then if you steal the deal, I wouldn't come around. I'd be like I guess you walk by yourself. I wouldn't come around.
Speaker 1:And then if you seal the deal with a free trip to the strip club.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:In the VIP room.
Speaker 2:You ain't got to do all that.
Speaker 1:Put a personal lap dance from a fully nude dancer and tell him I'm not going to consider it cheating babe.
Speaker 2:Okay, next one, because now you're doing the most, because that man got a lap dance from a fully nude dancer in the night. He's going to get that night for the wedding at his bachelor party.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh. Oh, that was it. That was like five.
Speaker 2:They were short.
Speaker 1:Oh my goodness, you want one more babe.
Speaker 2:I mean, if you got another one, we got time.
Speaker 1:I do have one more for you alright, one more um, let me see. Okay, here we go um. My ex-boyfriend left me for my best friend oh damn. And now wants me to be a part of their wedding. Any advice left me for my best friend and now wants me to be a part of their wedding. Any advice. Are you okay? Are you okay? No, okay, all the tables have turned Okay.
Speaker 2:My ex-boyfriend left me for my best friend and now they want me to be a part of their wedding. Any advice she wasn't your friend.
Speaker 1:Three years ago Josh, my boyfriend about a year and a half, broke up with me because he had feelings for Anna, my best friend. We hung out a lot and they said that they just eventually developed feelings for one another. They admitted that Josh had been cheating on me. They made a fool out of me. They made me think that everything was okay, when it really was not. If they admitted it at that time I would have tried to be understanding and tried to support them, but they chose to lie so I cut them both off. I focused on school and found a job with a good income. Josh and Anna tried to reach out to me at first, telling me that they still wanted to be friends, but I blocked them. Now I'm living in the town next to our hometown. I got a wonderful job opportunity so I moved, but I liked that I was still close enough to visit my parents and other relatives.
Speaker 1:About a month ago I heard about their wedding. Coming from a common friend, it didn't really bother me anymore so I just went on with my life. A week ago I received a message from Anna telling me that she and Josh were getting married and that they would like for me to be a part of the wedding. I replied congratulations. No, thank you. I had no feelings for Josh anymore and even seeing someone else. But I don't want to celebrate the wedding of two people who betrayed me. They were insistent. Josh also messaged me via a different number. Some of my friends also tried to convince me to come to the wedding. I firmly said no. Even my mom called asking if I was going. When I told her no, she sounded disappointed, but she didn't push it.
Speaker 1:This is all quite weird to me. Why would my ex-girlfriend, my ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend, or ex-my ex-boyfriend and my ex-best friend, the girl you cheated on me with want me to be a part of their wedding? The day before yesterday, anna's parents called me, told me that they missed me and really hoped that I could go to the wedding. I firmly said that I would not be attending. Her mom berated me, saying that I should let bygones be bygones and that I should be happy for her daughter. I asked her if I cheated with Anna's boyfriend, then invited her to the wedding. Would she convince Anna to go? She had no answer to this and hung up in my face. She had no answer to this and hung up in my face. This is quite getting out of hand, because I'm receiving more than 20 to 30 calls and texts a day from their friends and family about this wedding. Any advice on how to handle this? Also, any insight on why they want me to go to their wedding? I don't think it's normal that they're this insistent.
Speaker 2:This is wild. I like this, first of all. You're not an asshole. I like this, first of all, you're not an asshole. I wouldn't go Right and I would call her mom back and cuss her bitch ass out. Oh, because you ain't going to berate me, because I ain't going to your stank ass. Daughter wedding.
Speaker 1:Yeah, who is a homewrecker?
Speaker 2:That Jezebel. Bye babe. She probably got her hot in the crotch ways from your stink ass Well just remember how you got them. Yeah, that's how you keep them, so we know he's capable of cheating, I don't know why they want you to be there, unless they're going to ask you to be a throuple. I don't know.
Speaker 1:I have no idea why they want you there. I don't know why they're being so insistent about it, but I'm curious as to why they're being so insistent Now.
Speaker 2:I kind of want you to go, so I know why they wanted you there.
Speaker 1:Well, there is an edit here. Oh, what's the?
Speaker 2:edit.
Speaker 1:So she said thanks so much for some of the advice. I didn't think that it would get that a lot of attention. I wanted to clarify a few things that I read about, Though I'm going to talk to her about it. Anna messaged me from a different number. I don't know how she got my number. Also, my hometown is small and most of our friends did know that I was cheated on by Josh. That's why it seems so weird to me. I did block the people who were very insistent, including the new number of Anna and Josh's and Anna's mom. Also, I keep blocking the people that text me about the wedding, but new numbers just keep popping up, which is more weird that people are actually making an effort to get new numbers just so I would attend my ex's wedding.
Speaker 2:I need to know why. Look here, show up, show up for me.
Speaker 1:I mean show up with a date.
Speaker 2:Show up for research purposes, but show up for me. I mean show up for the day, show up for research purposes, but show up late.
Speaker 1:I would show up with like hold on.
Speaker 2:Now the petty is going to come up. Show up in a white dress bye, maurice and sit in the front row with your new man right and then stand up there. Stand up there with your old bouquet.
Speaker 1:Bye, maurice, that's going too far.
Speaker 2:And when they go in and do their first dance, do the stanky leg.
Speaker 1:Request the stanky leg from the DJ. Goodbye Maurice, Goodbye Be petty.
Speaker 2:I want to know yeah.
Speaker 1:I really want to know too, because that's a lot of hoops and hurdles for them to be going through, for them to be that insistent on you coming to their wedding. You do realize you both betrayed me, both of you. But here's the thing that's probably their guilty conscience. So her coming to the wedding for them alleviates the pain that they caused her.
Speaker 2:It would alleviates the pain that they caused her. It would be, it would be like her saying okay, we're over it, it would, yeah, it was, it would be them feeling like she accepts them now, yeah, like okay everything is, you know, good, but he he's.
Speaker 1:I'm sure he still feels guilty about it, and the fact that he can't even have a conversation with her is that. I wouldn't go, that's eating them. I would continue to tell them I'm not going. It's wild that they invited her home and both of y'all are going to have to live with the guilt that you feel of what you did to me. And good luck on that marriage, because think about how you're starting your life together. You started your relationship as a lie. That means your foundation was a lie, babe.
Speaker 2:You lied to me.
Speaker 1:Your foundation was a lie and then you're going into a marriage by you guys being so insistent that I come to it just further. Lets me know the guilt that you both are still feeling, but all these new numbers to contact me because it's babe, it's guilt, I'm changing my number.
Speaker 2:It's guilt, I'm changing my number guilt I'm only gonna give it to my I will mark it on the calendar just so I can see.
Speaker 1:Let's see how long this goes.
Speaker 2:But yeah, no, I do know I will wait till the day remain ten toes down. Don't go to that wedding wait till the day of the wedding, then announce something big on Facebook bye Bruce, so they ain't talking about you at the wedding.
Speaker 1:Bye. Announce your engagement yeah, something big. I can't alright. Guys, this has been another episode of Life After I Do Podcast. If you're not doing so already, you already know the deal.
Speaker 1:Follow us on all of our social media platforms at life after I do podcast on facebook, instagram, tiktok and youtube only you can also write into us at life after I do podcast at gmailcom and wherever you're getting your digital streams from where you listen to the podcast. You can also send us a direct message. Okay, you get a new episode every wednesday, so until then, peace booskies, peace, booskies.
