Life After I Do Podcast
Marriage and relationships can be tough. You may feel like you’re the only one struggling but you’re not. Life After I do is a weekly podcast where Morice and Kynesha, a black married millennial couple, share their experiences and advice on everything from kids and family to intimacy and connection. Noting is off limits.
In their 24 years together and 10 years of marriage, Morice and Kynesha have learned a lot about what it takes to make a relationship work. They know the importance of communication, trust and commitment. They also know it’s okay to not have it all figured out.
Join them every Wednesday as they talk about their own journey of “Life After I do”.
Life After I Do Podcast
The Silent Treatment
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
The heart of our conversation beats to the rhythm of communication—its breakdowns, its silent moments, and its need for validation. We lay it all out on the table, sharing stories of unspoken hurts and the delicate art of seeking acknowledgment while giving space. It's a tightrope walk we all face, and we're here to talk about the missteps and the grace it takes to find balance in love's intricate language.
Thanks for rocking with us! Don’t forget to follow Life After I Do so you never miss an episode. Got a relationship situation you want us to weigh in on? Hit us at https://linktr.ee/lifeafteridopodcast — we just might talk about it in a future episode.
Marriage and Family Dynamics
Speaker 1What I've learned in this situation is that I think too highly of you.
Speaker 2Is that it?
Speaker 1Yeah, because if I didn't think that highly of you, you wouldn't hurt me.
Speaker 2Is that what it is?
Speaker 1So I've corrected that.
Speaker 2Okay, so now you just don't think of me as highly, so that way you can't get hurt. Well, we'll just say you're down a couple notches. Hey everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Life After I Do. I'm your host, nisha Jean. I'm here with my husband.
Speaker 1Malita.
Speaker 2For somebody who claims to be so tired you are.
Speaker 1Look here, man. These are my last couple hours of 37. I'm trying to give you.
Speaker 2You are really, really, really dramatic about this I'm trying to give you.
Speaker 1You are really really I'm trying to give you all I got. My allergies are kicking up. I'm here, I'm trying to give you everything I got.
Speaker 2Okay, I appreciate it. How's it feel like your last few hours at 37?
Speaker 1It felt like I was 30, all over again.
Speaker 2You feel like 30 all over again, I feel like 30 all over again.
Speaker 1I feel like I all over again. I feel like 30 all over again. I feel like I'm I mean, I feel like I'm that guy. Oh, okay, I mean, you've been, you've been that guy you know, in the words of my good friend Southern McFly I'm the, I'm the, I'm the one you the one you are you the one?
Speaker 2You are you the truth? Just make sure you're keeping up. Oh my gosh, I just don't know. Yeah, so this is my babe's last night of 37.
Speaker 1And he'll be the big 3-8 tomorrow. Yeah, it is what it is.
Speaker 2Are you excited? You're one more step closer to 40.
Speaker 1I feel like we got to do something and apparently I'm 12 years to retirement. That's what they told me. Oh, that's what we found out today.
Speaker 2Yeah, 12 more years and you can retire.
Speaker 1I said, don't worry. I said, because when my daughters start getting them NIA deals, I'm retired before that.
Speaker 2Bye, goodbye, but that was really fun information to find out today. When you called me and told me, I was like, really, and you're like, I'm eligible for retirement in 12 years. That's actually pretty good I mean the podcast.
Speaker 1Well, I can retire next year. Oh my gosh. I mean, that's just from there. You know what? I mean That'll be like my hair got caught, That'll be, we can.
Speaker 2How was your week, babe?
Speaker 1It was a roller coaster. I'm just tired yeah. I've been working a lot yeah you have. Because I'm raising what her granny calls her queen diva.
Speaker 2Right.
Speaker 1And all she wants to do is Diva stuff. And diva stuff costs money.
Speaker 2She tries to live a modest diva lifestyle.
Speaker 1Ain't nothing modest about her lifestyle.
Speaker 2No, she's not terrible. I feel like sometimes we Don't get me wrong. Kids are costly. Anyway, in general, kids are costly.
Speaker 1What wives are too.
Speaker 2I heard they are. I'm telling you I've heard about that I understand, I don't feel like you have a costly wife. To be honest, Like I'm going to be honest with you, I feel like, especially since I've been home, you need to give me credit that I am nowhere near how I was when I was working.
Speaker 1The thing is is that I have a wife that doesn't like a lot of big purchases. But my wife, she's that wife that when she breaks the 20.
Speaker 2Why are you talking about me? Like I'm not here, Like I have the kind of wife?
Speaker 1When you break a 20, it's one purchase. When you break 100, it's going an hour it don't even take an hour to spend $100. I know, but you're not costly, no, okay.
Speaker 2So here's the thing. You might have a point there. I buy like a bunch of small things, right, but then when you purchase things, you purchase big ticket items.
Speaker 1Because I know how to save my money for big stuff.
Speaker 2That's not. That literally has nothing to do with it, Because when I ball, I ball. No, you just like if you see something you'll be like oh, I'm willing to spend X amount of dollars on that one item.
Speaker 1How was your week, babe?
Speaker 2Same as yours. I worked hard because the longer you work and the more you're at work, the more my days are also extended. So what you're off the rest of the week, so you just needed an excuse to come home early today.
Speaker 1I kept asking you constantly do you need me? I'll let these people know. I'll leave right now.
Speaker 2He kept calling me, talking about oh wait, you need me to come home. You need me to come home. Oh, you know what, babe? Let you know what, babe, let me tell these people I can't work today.
Speaker 1No, my wife needs me. I'm on the way.
Speaker 2No, you're not going to use me as your scapegoat, is it an?
Speaker 1emergency, For me it is.
Speaker 2You're not going to use me as your scapegoat, but yeah, this week was fun, a little hectic. She started another dance class this week, so that was really exciting. She's been asking to do hip hop, so we have now added hip hop to our schedule.
Speaker 1I think she just want to do hip hop for the music.
Speaker 2She okay. So let me just tell you really quick, cause you haven't seen the videos yet. So I think she wants to do hip hop for a couple of reasons, one being she knew she would get new dance clothes. That's the first part. Two, of course, all her dance friends you know they're in her other classes so they're also doing hip hop and she talks to them like after jazz class and ballet and stuff and everyone's like why you don't do hip hop? So she's like in there with her friends. But also when I observed her today she had a lot of fun. She really did it because it's the techniques are different, you know. So she's in there with her friends. But also when I observed her today she had a lot of fun. She really did Because the techniques are different. So she's learning different dance moves and then the music Boy she likes the music.
Speaker 2She really does like the music.
Speaker 1What's the song they're dancing to? Because I'm going to have to get over it.
Speaker 2I don't remember the song but I know they warmed up to Young Jock and they warmed up to this is not age appropriate.
Speaker 1Is it Kidz Bop? Young Jock?
Speaker 2No it's not. It's the real versions With the cuss words and everything. No, those are edited, oh.
Speaker 1I'm sorry.
Speaker 2Yeah, but they did warm up to some Young Jock.
Speaker 1Let me go there. And she got my baby popping it to yeah, yeah, glow oh, okay, the pops, all of them.
Speaker 2You don't see the video. We've got the hand motion, we've got the the hand motion, we got the twist, we got the hip rolls, we got the leg bends.
Speaker 1Oh, it's all in there.
Speaker 2Today was her first day it was, and and I'm really, really proud of her because since she came in, like technically in the middle cause we're getting ready to go into recital.
Speaker 1She came in and she learned the choreography today. Okay, but it was also her last day and we don't pop in and drive right now. Goodbye.
Speaker 2Goodbye. Um, really, really well, I'm very proud of her, very proud of her.
Speaker 1But not, you know, yeah, glow.
Speaker 2I wouldn't put it past him. I mean it's going to be edited, but I mean I would.
Speaker 1Hang on, I'm going to line that up.
Speaker 2That's what I was sitting. I think I was like I would actually go. Yeah, I was like I I would. I would be bopping with that too. But yeah, other than that week was good, um busy, full. We had open house, we had um book fair, you know, all the usual stuff on top of practices and everything and the workload. For some reason we're getting towards the end like going into break.
Speaker 1Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2But I feel like they're getting more work, which I don't understand. I know, you know we're not going to discuss, because I feel like the work is supposed to be getting lighter.
Speaker 1I don't want to discuss school because I feel like they ain't doing it right.
Speaker 2What does that mean?
Speaker 1I just find Bane doing it right.
Speaker 2Okay.
Speaker 1Yeah, what we got today.
Speaker 2Well, you know, talking about our week, you working a lot and me obviously working a lot I feel like there was some I wouldn't say you worked a lot.
Speaker 1I feel like there was some. I wouldn't say you worked a lot. I'd say you worked.
Speaker 2Goodbye. We had a little bit of drop in communication this week.
Speaker 1What do you mean?
Speaker 2Between you and I, so I wanted to talk about. We had a little bit of what A drop in communication. You wasn't dropping it.
Speaker 1No, that's the error in communication.
Speaker 2No no, no. That's the error in communication. No no, no. So I wanted to discuss today dealing with passive-aggressive behavior.
Speaker 1I use aggressive all week.
Speaker 2Giving your partner the silent treatment. Who's silent? I wasn't silent in the war, oh yeah.
Speaker 1Oh yeah, I talked to you, I said what I needed to say you.
Speaker 2Oh yeah, oh yeah. I talked to you, I said what I needed to say. You.
Speaker 1If I'm talking to you. You spoke to me and I spoke to you.
Speaker 2So am I being silent? But you know, no, no, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1Am I being?
Speaker 2silent. You know what I mean. Am I being?
Speaker 1silent if I'm talking to you. You know what I mean. I know what you said. No, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2We're not going to get up here and you act like you don't know what I mean.
Speaker 1Look here, I was in a good mood. I was just playing you some Anita and some Jodeci, and this is what you're doing.
Speaker 2This is what you're going to do to me hey, real life, real marriage discussions. So we're going to talk about it.
Speaker 1Are we? I felt like you were going't try to play me.
Speaker 2How am I trying to play you?
Speaker 1Go ahead Glo.
Speaker 2That is not my name. Yeah, Glo Goodbye. That is not my name. That is not my name. So yeah, Dealing with, I like to say that that type of behavior giving your partner the silent treatment is passive-aggressive behavior. Would you agree, or?
Speaker 1disagree, I would disagree. Tell me why you disagree because now I need to hear. It depends on the time. The passive aggressive is energy, it ain't behavior. Okay, wait a minute. It's the energy. It's the energy behind the behavior no that's because I wasn't saying anything to you, passive. I was just saying hey, I need no I need that. Okay, it was just. Were my words to the point? Yes, they were.
Communication Breakdown and Misunderstandings
Speaker 2No, their words weren't to the point because there wasn't words. It was just like if I said, good morning, good morning, there was. What was it? I think it was Monday night, maybe Monday night or Wednesday night or something, and you came in, you didn't say anything to me. I was laying in bed and of course I had my Petty Patty hat on that night. So I was like, oh, you gonna walk into the room, walk into my presence from being outside and not say hey, hello or anything. You're not the man in this house I am.
Speaker 1I'm the one that gets addressed, like I said, like I said, like I said, so I had petty patty hat on.
Speaker 2When do you not? I don't, I don't always have my petty patty hat on oh you, would you keep it down low? No, I. I mean, I keep her close by, like she's usually on the nightstand, just in case I have to pick her up, put her on okay um, she's never far, petty, my petty patty hat, she ain't never far. But um, anyway, yeah, you walked in. Normally you'd be like, hey, babe, what's up? There was nothing. So I was like, oh okay, I can see, I can see he's still in his feelings.
Speaker 1I'm in my feelings.
Speaker 2Okay, I'm draking it, huh you were literally in your feelings for an entire like not a whole seven days. You were in your feeling for like a solid four days oh okay, I'm just, I was great but you can call it whatever you, whatever you want, whether it's drake or whatever, but you were legit in your this is really how you're gonna do my pre-birthday.
Speaker 1This is really what you. This is really how you're going to do it. Huh, what do you mean? You really set the tone. You set the bar so low, I guess. I guess.
Speaker 2Set it low, I guess you don't know what I have planned for you for your birthday.
Speaker 1I know what I got planned.
Speaker 2What you got planned.
Speaker 1Tell me, no, we're talking about it later.
Speaker 2So, anyway, I would say that you were in your feelings for like a good solid four days and I was doing my best to give you your space. But I know that we have had discussions in the past when we talk about our communication and like working through our communication, and I don't know if you can remember, but what's one of the last things I had told you when we had experienced what I know to be the silent treatment, I said something to you. Do you remember?
Speaker 1Oh, you always say something. It's the last time you got to be silent with me.
Speaker 2That's what I told you.
Speaker 1I was like but I wasn't silent.
Speaker 2Like I told him. I was like the last time this had happened prior to last week. I told him you have.
Speaker 1I was not giving you silent treatment. I was talking to you every day.
Speaker 2Listen, I was like this is the last time you have forewarned, despair, warned to give me the silent treatment.
Speaker 1Let me ask you this, let me ask you this Hold on.
Speaker 2Because I feel as though it's passive, aggressive behavior. It's not proper communication, which is what we always try to like engage in with each other. We've been doing really well about putting feelings out on the table, about going through, basically like the checklist, and then it's like one thing sends you over and you immediately like regress, which is fine, because I feel like the whole communication thing is a work in progress. But I was just I was just a little taken back with your behavior last week. Okay, but go ahead, ask me, what do you want to ask me?
Speaker 1I was. I get you silent treatment. That's how you feel no, I, I okay because I talk to you every day babe now, was it normal communication? No, it was mine, but I was not silent, maurice, you were silent.
Speaker 2The only communication you gave me was like do I have clean uniforms? Like that. Is that communication? That's it, that was it. Is that communication? No, it's not.
Speaker 1It is Okay For the basic form of communication.
Speaker 2Is that what you're trying to say?
Speaker 1See, see. Is that what you're trying to say?
Speaker 2But we're not going to act like you don't understand.
Speaker 1We're not going to act like you don't understand what your behavior was. What we're not going to do is act like I didn't talk to you last week. I'm sorry y'all, my allergies are a mess today.
Speaker 2That's what we're not going to do. Okay, so what would you say how your behavior was? Was it your normal forms of communication? No, okay, on a scale of one to ten.
Speaker 1It was a ten out of ten for how I was feeling, because I could have went left.
Speaker 2It was a ten out of ten for how you were feeling. Yes, okay.
Speaker 1So let me ask you this I it was a 10 out of 10 for how you were feeling. Yes, okay. So let me ask you this I think I managed my emotions quite real. So if your communication level I even expressed to you Hold on.
Speaker 2If your communication level was basically your normal level of communication, your normal level of your personality and your character and your vibe, and if everything was perfectly normal, then there would not have been a need for us to have a discussion about no.
Speaker 1No, I said for how I was feeling. I didn't say I was feeling normal. We definitely had some strides.
Speaker 2It was some beef, okay, so I guess maybe.
Speaker 1And I was Kendrick in the beef.
Speaker 2Okay, so maybe we should go into more in why you weren't bringing that to my attention more, because I have my idea.
Speaker 1Okay, you know, you go ahead and say your dry idea no.
Speaker 2I think this is what I think. I believe that you were waiting for me To do what To come to you, uh-huh, and bring it to your attention, or come to you in the capacity of, like, what's wrong? Like, do you need to talk?
Speaker 1Bring what to your attention.
Speaker 2Your feelings, about how you were feeling, whatever it is you were going through at the moment.
Speaker 1That's not true, because I text you how I was feeling and I also, a couple days after that, I told you how I was feeling to you in words.
Speaker 2Okay, and then? What did you also put in there, in?
Speaker 1the text message.
Speaker 2You said I'm not looking for a response. Yeah, I did. And then we had another conversation and then after that it wasn't even a conversation really, it was just. It was you emotionally dumping on me.
Speaker 1It was me talking about yourself.
Speaker 2But again you ended that with not looking for a response. I'm not, I had to get off my chest, okay, but then after that, when we went back to talk about it, then you basically came to me and said that you felt like I was ignoring you.
Speaker 1Well, it's not that you was ignoring me. What I'm saying is is that I didn't require a response from you, but a response would have helped me get out my feelings more, but it wasn't a requirement requirement to what you just said. I know what I said. I said I didn't require a response because I said I came in there. I said my.
Speaker 1You said not looking for a response and I said my piece the same the way I did in the text message. I said my piece. I laid it all out on the line so you know, you knew what I was going through and how I was feeling. Right, I communicated okay perfectly. Not perfectly, but you communicated. Nonetheless, you communicated. Perfectly would be like that would be a stretch. So I communicated the first time via text.
Speaker 2Okay.
Speaker 1Right, because I couldn't like. I was at that point. I wanted all the smoke. I wanted all.
Speaker 2You actually did it, though, or actually you might have, you might have. No, I take that back. You actually did it, though, or actually you might've, you might've. No, I take that back. You might've. And you know. I say that it's because, even even if you and this is where I say like, even for myself, like I don't know if you can call that being petty or what, but when you had texted me, all that, you had texted me, excuse me. When you had texted me all that you had texted me, excuse me. And you put not looking for a response, whether you had put that or not, I wasn't going to respond.
Speaker 1Yes, you was. No, I wasn't Stop the cap. No, I wasn't Stop the cap. No, I wasn't Stop the cap, I was not going to respond.
Speaker 2I was absolutely not going to respond. I see, and you know that I wouldn't have responded Now, and you know that I wouldn't have responded, which is now that I'm thinking about it. That's probably why you said that I like you for your response.
Speaker 1No, I just had to get how I was feeling. Okay, well, I appreciated that I wouldn't have responded anyway, but Because it was affecting me to the point to where I couldn't even function normal outside of home.
Speaker 2Okay, that's fair.
Speaker 1So I had to say my piece.
Speaker 2And that's fair. So I had to say my piece and you usually do that via text and then I text you my piece and normally that works, but I was really hurt. I can understand that.
Speaker 1So I had to say it verbally, you know because, obviously the text message and then the way I was moving didn't move you. Ok, say it again. It didn't move you.
Speaker 2Say it again. So you were expecting what you were expecting a reaction out of me.
Speaker 1I was expecting some type of recourse at least a day or two later.
Speaker 2OK.
Speaker 1When I say I'm not looking for you to respond immediately.
Speaker 2OK.
Speaker 1Right, but I do want you to acknowledge how I'm feeling. You didn't even do that, yes, and I always try to at least acknowledge how you feeling.
Speaker 2So you played my life I did, you did and I was ready for your life and I was ready for all the smoke, my dude no, I didn't play your life.
Speaker 1I was ready for all the smoke I didn't play your life.
Speaker 2I was ready for all the smoke. I didn't play your life. Now I just want you to understand on my end where I was coming from, Because I do understand what you're saying on your end and this is why I say we dropped the ball in communication last week.
Speaker 1No, I didn't drop nothing, I laid it in your lap, it was a layup. Okay, you know how you say like you can't read my mind.
Speaker 2Yeah, you know how you say. Like you can't read my mind, yeah, okay, I can't read your mind either. But when you put what you're saying in text and you lay it like how you just said, you laid it out and in the text and even in the conversation, the one-sided conversation we had. What's all this? Because the one-sided conversation that we had, you ended both with not looking for a response.
Speaker 1Hold on, listen to me, listen to me now, when I said that in the room, when I told you verbally I paused, let you talk. I walked out, I paused.
Speaker 2Like you, gave me space.
Speaker 1I gave you space.
Speaker 2Okay.
Speaker 1And then, when you didn't say nothing, I exited stage.
Speaker 2Okay, but why would I say something when you ended it with not looking for a response?
Speaker 1Because, Norman, you can't shut up.
Speaker 2Okay, but see, so we're going to go back to like how I told you before, when I said you have no more times to give me, but I was not giving you silent treatment.
Speaker 1Hold on, you were out for that B. Hold on you were out for that.
Speaker 2You were giving me a form of the silent treatment.
Speaker 1You were out for that. You, you are wild for that. You are giving me a form of a silent treatment.
Speaker 2You are wild for that, and I had explained to you the last time that you have no more times to give me the silent treatment right. So I can understand from your perspective where you're saying like, okay, yeah, I said I didn't want a response immediately, but I did expect you to somehow acknowledge my feelings.
Speaker 1I still meant the fact that you're trying to say I gave you a silent treatment when I did not Listen listen.
Speaker 2I can understand where you're coming from when you say that you expected me.
Speaker 1I talk to you every day.
Speaker 2When you expected me to acknowledge your feelings, like two days later or three days later, right Now, on my end, let me tell you how that was going. Okay, go ahead. I my feelings, my perspective. You were giving me the silent treatment. Okay, my head was. You sent me this text. You expressed how you were feeling, which is fine. A lot of the times and here's the thing everyone communicates differently. I have expressed to you before that when you have important things to say to me or that things that you want to talk about or get off your chest, I'm more of a person to person. I like the intimacy of like looking in your face, looking in your eyes and having these like conversations and having the tough conversations. You're more of the, I feel like, I guess, because you can organize your thoughts better and you're able to get everything that you're saying out without the possibility of interruption.
Speaker 1Because you're not pressuring me.
Speaker 2Okay, so that's what I'm saying. So he has this thing where he will Don't pressure me to respond he won't say anything to me, like we'll be at home, we'll sit down and have breakfast, we'll drink coffee, nothing. Soon, as he walks out of the door, he either starts calling me 50 times or he starts sending me 50 million texts about how you've been feeling or something that I did that rubbed you the wrong way.
Speaker 1Hold on, hold on. No, I got to finish my thought. You got to tell the whole story.
Communication Breakdown in a Relationship
Speaker 2I got to finish my whole thought about how something I did rubbed you the wrong way, or this, that and the third. So when you sent that text and then you left it with I'm not looking for a response, whether you said I'm not looking for a response or not, I wasn't going to respond. You said that Because because you had been giving me the silent treatment my perspective I guess we can agree to disagree.
Speaker 1We're going up to.
Speaker 2You had been giving me the silent treatment, right, right. And so for me I was like you're not going to just come in emotionally, dump on me, leave me with that, and then now it's just my responsibility to just like fix everything. When there was a lot of things going on at once, it wasn't just one-sided, okay. And just because you were feeling all of those feelings and because I haven't said anything doesn't mean that there was more to discuss, aside just from your feelings, if that makes sense. Okay, the way I just explained that, can I say something? So you were, you were listening, just to respond just now.
Speaker 1No, I will listen to you. Okay, I hear everything you said. Okay, we, we definitely agreed to disagree okay, all right now. Let me tell you this Okay, you know how, like you always say, I just want to feel validated. Who you, uh-huh, you didn't validate me.
Speaker 2I was going to say uh-huh.
Speaker 1You didn't validate me at all. Okay, right, so that deepened the wound? Okay, right, mm-hmm Right, mm-hmm Okay. Secondly, I don't know what are you talking about. I talked to you in the capacity in which I need to talk to you, and also, what you understand is that what you didn't say is that a lot of times I send text messages or call when I'm not around, because when I'm in here talking to you face to face you like a defense attorney, you don't be trying to hear what I'm saying.
Speaker 1I'm a defense attorney yes, you go straight to the defense and then you try to break down my argument.
Speaker 2That makes me look like I'm crazy that's okay you don't babe, if that is your experience, if that is, your experience of me.
Speaker 1That must be weird. Your, that is your experience of me. That must be.
Speaker 2But what's funny, is that your reality is your reality. Your perception is your reality and I can't change that. And who am I to tell you how you're experiencing me? Is wrong. So the fact that you just said this out of your mouth that I don't like Well, you didn't say that I don't validate your feelings. You're just saying, in that instance, I didn't validate your feelings.
Speaker 1But what you?
Speaker 2wanted to smoke. Hold on, you didn't say that I don't validate your feelings. You're just saying in that instance, I didn't validate your feelings. But what you told me is you wanted to smoke, hold on, is that something that I normally do Normally? Normally Right. So you want to smoke, right so I do normally validate your feelings, because here's the thing Hold on. But I do right, Hold on.
Speaker 1For the record, bless you, even though, um, I told you, like you don't have to respond right, right, hold on. And which? No, I didn't. I didn't want you to respond right, I didn't want you to respond right away. After a couple days you could have validated my, my feelings. You never validated my feelings, right. And then, and then, petty patty over here, you want to try to throw, you want to try to throw dirt yeah.
Speaker 1You want to try to throw dirt on the wound, so when you did that, how did I throw dirt on the wound? By how you started moving, because now you're starting to feel some type of way. Now you're starting to feel some type of way because I feel some type of way. So I'm like okay, so I guess we both going to feel some type of way and it's World War III in this motherfucker.
Speaker 2It's not World War III, because I just didn't say anything. You did, what did I say?
Speaker 1Okay, what did I say In your actions? You did oh.
Speaker 2Okay. Kind of like how I said when you were giving me the silent treatment and you said no, I didn't give you the silent treatment.
Speaker 1What I'm saying is I could tell that you felt some way about me by them shitty ass lunches you was giving me for lunch.
Speaker 2But did you eat?
Speaker 1Barely.
Speaker 2But did you eat?
Speaker 1A couple days I threw that shit away.
Speaker 2You just didn't feel the love.
Speaker 1Wasn't no love there.
Speaker 2There was no love in your meals.
Speaker 1No.
Speaker 2Oh, so you can taste the difference.
Speaker 1I was going to say that somewhere else. Don't say don't say stuff like. You know how my brain worked there was no love in there do not say things like that to me.
Speaker 2No but I'm just saying. But you also saw. I wouldn't say a shift, but you noticed my behavior change.
Speaker 1I saw that you was being petty so I said, let's be petty.
Speaker 2How was I being petty? And I came, I said, I said I was giving you your space and that's what.
Speaker 1And that's Nah. You was acting. You was acting, see, but see what is what is from your perspective. Here's the thing. It makes sense. No, this is this is what really happened. Right, you wronged me.
Speaker 2You felt as though I wronged you.
Speaker 1No, you could whatever Okay.
Speaker 2In my reality. You wronged me, Okay, I felt as though you wronged me too, right so?
Speaker 1Did you address it?
Speaker 2Did I address what?
Speaker 1Did I wrong you? You didn't, because I didn't wrong you. So you wronged me. I addressed it. I addressed it. I addressed it, addressed it, lord jesus I wasn't gonna correct you, I I addressed it. Okay, right then. I, then you. Instead of responding in a way to try to mend the fences, you, you come out petty, batty right. So I'm like it's World War 3 sometimes, in love, you gotta have war. I said battles on and the words of the great.
Speaker 1This is all that's going on in his head, and the words of the great late DMX the heat is on this is all what's sticking?
Speaker 2out in his head war, and I'm like this, like this is it. This is it.
Speaker 1I have to stand my ground.
Speaker 2And I stood mine and you didn't like it and show no grievance. You didn't like it, did you? Who folded? You didn't like it. Who folded? You folded.
Speaker 1No one folded. I did not fold.
Speaker 2I did not fold, you didn't fold.
Speaker 1I did not fold you did it. No, you sure how do I fold?
Speaker 2You sure?
Speaker 1How do I fold?
Speaker 2Because when you weren't getting the reaction out of me that you thought you were going to get out of me, that's when you came and you started laying more of it out and then started expressing to me how you felt. And then you came to me and you're just like, basically in so many words, like this is what I need from you and like I miss you?
Speaker 1No, I never told you, I missed you?
Speaker 2No, not those words, but I'm saying like in your actions and how you were describing what you were talking to me about.
Speaker 1I did what every man does, what we hold on to it. Uh-huh, it eats us up.
Speaker 2Up.
Speaker 1Then we digest it and go on about life.
Speaker 2We just store it you held on to it. It eats you up.
Speaker 1You digest it you store it, you break it down, you store it in the back because, as a man, it don't matter. I still have to go on with life but that's not just a man thing. I don't care about women right now, I'm talking about men, because you wronged me and I still provided you a life and in return I got lackluster lunches oh my goodness.
Speaker 2Nonetheless, you still got a clean home.
Speaker 1Your child was taken care of your errands were ran, your food was cooked for you. What else your?
Speaker 2laundry was done, everything else that you required. Your errands were ran. That's not for me. Your food was cooked for you. That's not for me. What else? Your laundry was done, everything else that you required.
Speaker 1We're not going to talk, hold on, no, everything else that was required Because, like you said, you still had to provide for me. Hold on, hold on. We're not going to talk about, I still provided for you. We're not going to talk about. And where.
Speaker 2What do you mean and where?
Speaker 1Where is it at?
Speaker 2Downstairs. Oh you mean because it isn't folded yet it?
Speaker 1ain't folded.
Speaker 2Okay, but who's going to fold it? I am who's?
Speaker 1going to wear the clothes. Who's going to wear it? It's part of the agreement we have agreed upon.
Speaker 2I can't wait for people to hear that one. I don't care, I'm no problems with that.
Speaker 1So it is your job.
Speaker 2Okay, I have no problems with that, but what you're not going to try to make it seem like is I stopped doing my end of the deal, I had to beg for you to do my laundry.
Speaker 1You did not have to beg. I said babe, I need work clothes.
Speaker 2Jamel, you did not have to beg me to do your laundry. Why would?
Speaker 1you tell a fib, so don't sit here why?
Speaker 2would you tell a fib like that I'm keeping a hundred, that's the only thing. You never keep it a hundred, you keep it 80.
Speaker 1Or like 75%, I'm keeping it a hundred, like my homeboy smooth say I'm keeping it a bean, I'm keeping it a bean.
Speaker 2That's your boy. He don't know you I don't care.
Speaker 1I know him, that's my boy. I'm keeping it a bean no and, like Trill said, prayers are all part of you.
Speaker 2Bye but okay, so I mean outside from wanting to you know, talk about like partners giving each other the silent treatment because of our experience last week I wanted to ask you and I want your serious thoughts, I want your serious thoughts Whether you agree that you gave me the silent treatment or not, I didn't. Okay, for the sake of the discussion, you didn't. Do you think that that could possibly be a trauma response?
Speaker 2what like giving someone the silent treatment when you feel like your feelings are hurt or like your feelings for me personally, sure no, no, no.
Speaker 1That's how I internalize. It's just me internalizing.
Speaker 2I'm not gonna deal with you because I'm not in a space to deal with you properly, because if I deal with you right now, it's going to be smoke because I like I think about it sometimes so you need to give me credit for my if it doesn't like if it, if someone's giving you the silent treatment and you're taking it on like you're just internalizing it, it's not worth speaking, it's not worth saying anything. But then you get upset with when the person doesn't acknowledge acknowledge you. I'm not upset, wait, I'm not saying you personally, I'm just saying like in general I'm not.
Communication Pitfalls in Relationships
Speaker 1I'm not gonna talk in general, I'm talking, I'm gonna talk about in our situation. Okay, so I wasn't upset that you didn't address it Right Immediately. You ain't addressed it at all. Don't stop the cap, keep it a bean, ok. Ok, you ain't addressed it at all, so I was hurt. He asked for not to not respond. I was hurt. Like I said, I was hurt and then you didn't invalidate my hurt, right?
Speaker 2so now, I didn't validate, you didn't validate my hurts, right.
Speaker 1So now you've left me to interpret that you don't care I could see that which you didn't that's not true as far as I know, you don't care. So that's how, that's what, that's what is. That's what it's stored as in my memory brain. Okay.
Speaker 2So let me ask you this what could I have said to you that would have made you feel validated?
Speaker 1I mean, I don't know. You normally say something smart.
Speaker 2I normally have the right words to say to you, yeah, and that usually takes care of it. You're a wordster, I'm a wordster.
Speaker 1Yeah, that's not a to say to you, yeah, and that usually like, takes care of it.
Speaker 2You're a worster, I'm a worster.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2That's not a thing, but it is Okay. Look it up, but like in your eyes genuinely what, like, what would have satiated that feeling for you? You?
Speaker 1never even told me I'm sorry, mm-hmm. I said, okay, this is what we're doing, all right, okay, I said as much as I say sorry for shit, I don't even believe it's true.
Speaker 2I just take the blame.
Speaker 1So if I say to you right now, babe, You're doing it for the views and I don't get in the house. I'm not going to take it.
Speaker 2I'm not going to take it. My apologies are always genuine, always. You just, you literally just said yourself. You did you pretty much just I said you a wordster.
Speaker 1I didn't say anything.
Speaker 2But you. But you also said like even with me being a wordster like that.
Speaker 1I'm not going to sit here and lie to the people.
Speaker 2Ain't nobody asking you to lie. No one's asking you to lie. I think they. Usually I'm not going to sit here and lie to the people. Ain't nobody asking you to lie. No one's asking you to lie. I think they are. I'm just trying to have a real life discussion Because I know that we're not the only people that go through.
Speaker 1I'm pretty sure there are a lot of wives out there hurting their husbands and he's just taking the hit and taking it to the chin and just keep on life. Yeah, that's what men do. That's what men do. We're used to not being supported. Wow, when the ones we love don't support us, it don't really hurt as much.
Speaker 2It doesn't. Is that what we're going with? Yeah?
Speaker 1So what I've learned in this situation is that I think too highly of you.
Speaker 2Is that it?
Speaker 1Yeah, because if I didn't think that highly of you, you wouldn't hurt me.
Speaker 2Is that what it is, so?
Speaker 1I've corrected that.
Speaker 2Okay, so now you just don't think of me as highly, so that way you can't get hurt. Well, just say you're down a couple notches.
Speaker 1Well, that's fine, that don't mean I don't love you.
Speaker 2I knocked you down a couple of notches too.
Speaker 1I love you, babe, this ain't gonna do with love yeah, it does, yeah it does and the words of the great late sugar free why are you quoting people tonight? Don't get me wrong. Baby, I love you too on that rent, on that car. Note what's love gonna do get us through.
Speaker 2Ooh bars, did I just bar?
Speaker 1you're not gonna do that sugar free, did I, I think, and I said late.
Speaker 2Great sugar free is not dead.
Speaker 1Oh, bars, did I just bar? You're not supposed to do that to Sugar Free, did I? I think I just and I said late grade, sugar Free is not dead.
Speaker 2I think you're tired. I am, but no, for real did I just bar. But small finger though Get Don't be so gross.
Speaker 1That's a Sugar Free album. You're supposed to be from the West Coast, no, no.
Speaker 2No, I don't want to do that.
Speaker 1I mess with you. I mess with sugar-free.
Speaker 2Yeah, but anywho, I do want to say that I do apologize If you felt like I didn't validate you. Why are you looking at me like that?
Speaker 1Don't come up here and give me some soft, sad I'm not giving you soft sad anything.
Speaker 2I'm looking you in your face and I'm telling you that I apologize to you.
Speaker 1Apologize with your body.
Speaker 2I'm telling you that I apologize, okay, because it's never my intention to hurt your feelings. Okay.
Speaker 1You did that a lot this week.
Speaker 2Okay, I mean.
Speaker 1At one time point I thought about loosening all your lug nuts, but you got my baby in the car.
Speaker 2Now you're trying to collect insurance policies.
Speaker 1If anything was to happen to me, guys, Don't worry, the corner would cause a death be natural.
Speaker 2I'm just telling you, my brakes are squeaky right now so I don't know what to make of that. I'll change them tomorrow. Okay, I'm just letting everybody know, just in case you guys heard it here, heard what you heard it first.
Speaker 1You heard it first, just in case, because you just said that you were going to loosen up my lug nuts are you going to sum up what we just talked about, because I feel like you tried to give yourself a pass for how you no.
Speaker 2I'm not trying to give myself a pass. What I, just what I. What I would sum up is the takeaways. We had a drop in communication. I think, going forward like we do normally, when you feel like something has, or when you feel like I've wronged you in some way or you're feeling some type of way, just bring it to me, like you normally do. That's why I was just like I brought it to you. No, you didn't bring it to me. I texted to you. No, okay, but you followed it up with don't respond, you don't.
Speaker 1No no.
Speaker 2If the shoe was on the other foot? You have to be If the shoe was on the other foot and I texted you half of a story about how I was feeling and I left you with do not respond or not looking for a response and you didn't respond. And then I come back to you 48 hours later or 72 hours later and say you know what? I know that I put in a text message, not looking for a response, but you could have responded.
Speaker 1First of all, what would?
Speaker 2you say to me, you would say the same thing that I'm saying.
Speaker 1First of all, I would have no, because I would have addressed it the day after.
Speaker 2Okay.
Speaker 1And I don't think you understand the level on which you heard me.
Speaker 2Okay.
Speaker 1It was deep.
Speaker 2But you didn't, you didn't, you didn't like I did.
Speaker 1I conveyed that. I conveyed that message in verbal.
Speaker 2Okay, and then you told me not to say anything after.
Speaker 1I told me. I said I'm not looking for. I never said, I never said don't say anything.
Speaker 2I said I'm not looking for you said not looking for a response. I never said you didn't say I'm not looking. You said. You said it with your, with your attitude, Not looking for a response. It's fine, you know what You're going to believe what you want to believe You're going to believe what you want to believe.
Speaker 1Are we?
Speaker 2going to have to agree to disagree on this one.
Speaker 1I know I'm going to be there. They know I'm going to be there.
Speaker 2What are you talking about?
Speaker 1Whatever conclusion you're trying to make.
Speaker 2I'm not trying to make a conclusion. I'm just saying that we're human too, that we're human too, like everyone else, and I know that you know we're not the only people that go through these pitfalls of communication.
Speaker 1I'm not human. I'm an Android with an iPhone.
Speaker 2Okay.
Speaker 1But I'm, I have a Google software, okay, but I use an iPhone, okay, anyway, I use the iPhone.
Speaker 2Okay, anyway, just moving forward, and for anybody else out there who go through these communication pitfalls especially if you have a partner who's giving you the silent treatment I would say even when it's difficult, just express to your partner how you're feeling, if you want there to be an apology, if you're looking more for an apology, if you're looking for more discussion, just say that. Don't let them know. Not looking for a response, but then expecting them to respond.
Speaker 1This is the second time you've had an episode where your whole goal was to get at me.
Speaker 2I'm not getting at you.
Speaker 1I'm starting to take this personal.
Speaker 2I'm literally not getting at you, it's cool. But I'm just saying because I know I mean that's the point of the podcast it's. You know, that's life after I do. These are the things that are going to be continuous Like. Communication is something that we're always working on, are we? We are.
Speaker 1Because you didn't communicate much this week.
Speaker 2You didn't communicate to me. I didn't know what you wanted me to say. Oh, we got next.
Speaker 1People, people. I displayed a level of emotional intelligence I've never displayed before, displayed before what she just laid, what she just laid.
Speaker 2Okay. She saw my feelings and she said I dropped the ball with his feelings this week, I guess.
Speaker 1She saw my feelings, she said I said what there's some hotter dogs hit on me long.
Speaker 2Oh, wow, really Okay. Well, I don't like that. You feel that I thought your feelings were a pile of dog poo on the lawn. I do apologize.
Speaker 1Then she went and got the hose and sprayed me to the street.
Speaker 2Oh my gosh. Okay, Moving into our two cents.
Speaker 1I don't know why, because I got forced to tell you about this week.
Speaker 2Oh, okay, tell me.
Speaker 1Tell me I'm done.
Speaker 2You see what you do. It's just like the text message All over again.
Speaker 1I did that on purpose.
Speaker 2Oh, I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1Tell me Look here, I've dealt with it. Uh-huh, I've stored it, okay, and I've just We'll talk about it. No, we're not talking about it.
Speaker 2You don't want to talk about it now.
Speaker 1No, I'm over it Okay.
Speaker 2I don't think that you are.
Speaker 1I feel it myself.
Speaker 2It's not necessarily anything I want you to be over.
Speaker 1I feel it myself enough internally, I don't have to. Don't bring up old wounds you don't want to this week I threw a lot of what Himalayan Okay Salt, because you was looking a little confused. No, I caught it.
Speaker 2But I'm just saying, I'm just wondering why you chose to use Himalayan.
Speaker 1Yeah, Sea salt better. Well, do you tell me what kind of salt you were throwing into my wounds this week? You tell me what kind of salt you throw any salt into your room oh, you'll make it right in here properly, that's for sure okay, I was just trying to give you your space.
Speaker 2I know that in the past there was nothing. You have expressed that when you're having a emotionally difficult time, that it's best that you have space so that you can work through it. So I was also giving you space to work through it. Okay, because you expressed to me how you felt.
Speaker 1You wasn't giving me too much space. You were still asking me to do shit around here.
Speaker 2I didn't want to try to interject because, for one, you asked me not to respond.
Speaker 1Hold on, because for one you asked me not to respond. Hold on hold on, we live. We live in two separate realities because most of the time, because, while you did not interject on my pain, you kept that him laying out there what salt? You did interject on things you thought that I was not taking care of.
Speaker 2Like what, like around the house In general. Around the house, I mean, I feel like those are daily conversations.
Speaker 1Oh.
Speaker 2Like.
Speaker 1So we had daily conversations about gay and silent treatment.
Speaker 2No.
Speaker 1Make it make sense. I said I feel like those are daily conversations, ladies and gentlemen, are two cents.
Speaker 2Okay, feel like those are daily conversations, ladies and gentlemen, are two cents okay, I like. I like when he thinks he's had a point about something, but but he really did it but okay, are you done?
Speaker 1but okay are you done?
Speaker 2no, I'm not done are you done? No, I'm not done, because if we weren't having like, what are you talking about? Like if you tell, if you ask me or say like, oh, hey, I need uniforms, okay, that's it one uniform, that's it. And then, if I say if I say, hey, the bathrooms, uh, downstairs bathroom needs to be in the toilet is that communication okay?
Speaker 1it's technically communicating but it's not our treatment.
Communication Breakdown
Speaker 2Okay, I'm talking to you, want you. Silent treatment means I'm not talking to you at all you know, you know, you know exactly what I mean no, I know what you're saying.
Speaker 2There was no there was no normal level of communication amongst us. You were purposely avoiding me, unless you absolutely couldn't at all like if you didn't ask, if you didn't have to ask me for a uniform, you wouldn't have asked me for a uniform. I shouldn't have to ask. Hold on, if you were, if you didn't ask, if you didn't have to ask me for a uniform, you wouldn't have asked me for a uniform I shouldn't have to ask, hold on if you were, if you didn't need to ask me for something, you wouldn't have asked me for it.
Speaker 2Okay, that's what I mean by silent treatment. All right, you only spoke to me if you needed something. All right, that was it. Okay, all right, that was it. Outside of that, there was no good morning. There was not a good evening, there was not. Hey, how you doing.
Speaker 1That's not true. That is absolutely true. I said hey every time I came home. No, you didn't. When you said hey to me, absolutely did not.
Speaker 2When you greeted me when you came in the house from work. Hold on, came in the house from work the night after, when I was upstairs. You said nothing, okay.
Speaker 1I know, I remember, I remember. I got nothing else, because we remember the week.
Speaker 2We always remember these things.
Speaker 1Totally different.
Speaker 2Totally different, see, and that's why it's important for us to not get off track when talking about how we feel about things and not responding with don't need a response.
Speaker 1Because, then we could have further talked about it, you acting really deli-loo right now.
Speaker 2Then we could have further talked about it. That's all I'm saying. All right, okay, so getting into our two cents. Turn your eyes on the radio. I'm not what, huh? What'd you say?
Speaker 1Nothing.
Speaker 2Yes, you did.
Speaker 1What'd you? Nothing at all. Okay, let's get into this one.
Speaker 2I got seven cents tonight. What? Why do you keep bubbling things? What are you saying Sorry, did you say something? What are you saying Nothing, go ahead, oh my gosh. Okay, am I the asshole for making my wife confess to all her friends and family that she cheated on me and that, if she did not, I would want a divorce?
Speaker 1I like this. I like this.
Speaker 2I've been married to my wife for five years and we have three children. A few months ago I found out from my wife's text messages that she's been cheating on me and I confronted her about it. She confessed to it and gave me an entire breakdown of their affair, which had lasted for months. I was devastated and asked her why. She gave no excuse for it and she said she had caught feelings. For her part, she had caught feelings that led to an affair with her partner from work. I asked her if I was lacking anything and she said no, but she was in tears. I needed a few days to process this. My wife gave me space, but she asked me many times to reconsider divorce because it would uproot the lives of our children. She said she would do anything that I wanted for the rest of my life if I did it.
Betrayal and Double Standards
Speaker 2After a week I decided that I needed only one thing from my wife to completely forgive her, and that was to call each and every one of our friends and family and confess her affair. I told her that was my only condition. She was really hesitant and asked me if I could reconsider the condition, because this would ruin a lot of her friendships and her family relationships. But I told her that this is what I needed as part of the forgiveness process and that if she didn't do it, I was going to start looking for a divorce lawyer. Over the next week, my wife made a phone call to all of her friends parents, grandparents, siblings, uncles, aunts, pretty much anyone she knew and confessed her affair. It was hurtful and there was a lot of crying. My wife was hurtled with a lot of shouting by the week's end. My wife, am I the asshole for doing that? This has hurt her a lot and she spends a lot of nights crying alone, but she says it was all worth it for our relationship. Am I the asshole for doing that?
Speaker 1No, I would have doubled down Because I wouldn't have stayed. I would have had her call everybody and then left. I'm real, I can't do it.
Speaker 2I can't do it. You would have had her call everybody and then left, so that that way, when the divorce happened, people wouldn't assume that it was your fault.
Speaker 1It was her. They know why.
Speaker 2And they know that because she's the one who said it. That's exactly that's where I thought it was going. That's what, yeah.
Speaker 1I said oh, I like this Because you know a lot.
Speaker 2you know because when people hear divorce, they automatically think it was the man that, yeah Like either he cheated or what made me mad, is that?
Speaker 1what I got from this is that she just got bored and it was something new and fresh, and and she and she fed into it.
Speaker 2Because here's the thing I think that when people have been together for so long, um, when you still get attention from the opposite sex, there is still that part of you that's kind of like oh, like, okay, like some people still do find me attractive, or you can get a little excited and get beside yourself. But, some people, some people take that feeling, some people take that attention and they just run with it.
Speaker 1Oh, definitely I know people like that. Yeah, they take that attention and they run with it Well definitely.
Speaker 2I know people like that. Yeah, they take that attention and they run with it.
Speaker 1Well, I mean when I say I know people like that, I know people who take the attention and they don't go far with it, but they just it's like a confidence booster.
Speaker 2They like to have this. Yeah, it's like a confidence booster because I think, especially when you have been together so long, it's not to say that there's anything wrong with your partner or the attention that you're getting from your partner is not enough, but at some point it's just like you know.
Speaker 1No, you just get to the point to where anytime you're introduced to something that's outside the norm is exciting Right.
Speaker 2From a stranger, especially when it's feeding into your ego.
Speaker 1That's what it is. It feeds into the ego and we all. A stranger.
Speaker 2Especially when it's feeding into your ego. That's what it is. It feeds into the ego and we all have one. I'm just regular. No, you have one, we all have one, baby, just regular. Everyone has an ego.
Speaker 1But he's not an asshole at all. Who? He's just a double down and still left.
Speaker 2Oh him.
Speaker 1Right, Because the whole tears breaking. She wouldn't think about the family when she was busting open for a boy. Why I look Kudos to old man he's a real one. I couldn't do it, Because every time I see you I'm like how'd you go for him?
Speaker 2Oh my goodness, I can't but see this also. This kind of that kind of takes me back to the conversation of how, when men cheat and women forgive them, it's supposed to be like you know, it was a mistake, it won't happen again. We can work through it, but when women cheat on men, y'all be like oh no.
Speaker 1Oh, absolutely not. Let me tell you why I have my thinking of this right.
Speaker 2Okay.
Speaker 1When a man cheats right. I know where this is going, but okay, I am giving, I am giving.
Speaker 2Okay, right, I'm giving. What are you giving?
Speaker 1That thing when a woman cheats she's receiving. So she's opening herself up. I don't have to open myself up to give.
Speaker 2I can walk away marie, a woman can walk away too, not all of them she can walk away all of them she can walk away.
Speaker 1Yes, no, not all of them. Yes, not all of them.
Speaker 2Sex can be just as mindless for women as it is for men at times.
Speaker 1You know I say yeah if it's a celebrity, no, not even if not, it doesn't even have to be a celebrity okay, look here you, you really think?
Speaker 2you really think that every time a woman has like, even if it's a one-night stand, you really think that she has like real emotional attachments? No, I know that there's whores out there. Oh my goodness, if a man has a one night stand, is he a whore. He's a master key and if a woman has a one night stand, a shitty lock. So a man having a one night stand, I didn't say it's a morally thing to do, but he's not a whore. No, if a woman has a one-night stand, or why, you know why I don't I'm asking you. You know what I know. I'm asking you, I don't have to answer that.
Speaker 2But why won't you answer it?
Speaker 1Because you know the answer.
Speaker 2I'm literally asking you why? Because I don't have the answer. I want to know what your thought process about that is Because a woman's value is directly tied to her body. Okay, I can understand that. I can see your perspective about that.
Speaker 1Okay, you want to be a whore so bad.
Speaker 2Fyi, that's a running joke of our relationship. He always says you want to be a whore so bad. Nobody's stopping you. I know no one's stopping me, Just know you can't come back here I wouldn't Well, after you make them phone calls. How would even do that, because I need a record. I wouldn't even do that. I'd be like, okay, just draw off the papers bro wow, you probably wouldn't feel remorse.
Speaker 1You'd be like I still won't have I.
Speaker 2I want what I've worked for.
Speaker 1You lost it.
Speaker 2I've lost what. What you work for, okay, but the same rules would have to apply to you too.
Speaker 1I'm not a cheater, I'm a lover.
Speaker 2I'm not a cheater either. I'm a lover. No, you're a. You're going to stop calling me a whore on these interwebs.
Speaker 1Look, you said you wanted to be real conversation. I call you that in real life all the time. You want me to call you. The other thing I call you too.
Speaker 2What? Oh no, that's only when I'm at the gym. Yeah, that's only when I'm at the gym. I don't mind that when we're working out and he's trying to push me to another rep when I feel like I absolutely cannot do it.
Speaker 1Yeah, but that's only because like, and you be in a gym dressed like a whore too.
Speaker 2I do not. I wear a sports bra and pants.
Speaker 1Baby, you have a shelf. You can't hide all that shit.
Speaker 2Okay, what should I wear? A denim skirt, a parka?
Speaker 1That was that thing called. That covered the whole body.
Speaker 2This has been another episode of Life After I Do Podcast, if you are not following us on our social media.
Speaker 1I didn't do it at the beginning of my dog, no, because you were playing too much.
Speaker 2If you're not following us on social media, you can follow us at Life After I Do Podcast.
Speaker 1You got four days on.
Speaker 2TikTok. Oh my gosh, stop saying that, because they out of here.
Speaker 1Oh my gosh, stop saying that TikTok is not going anywhere.
Speaker 2There you go TikTok, instagram, facebook, youtube, life After I Do podcast. You can also write into the podcast at lifeafteridopodcast at gmailcom. If there's a question that you guys have or a certain topic you want to hear us cover, to hear about our experience, possibly, go ahead and write in to us. We have new episodes every wednesday and until then, guys, peace.
