The heart of our conversation beats to the rhythm of communication—its breakdowns, its silent moments, and its need for validation. We lay it all out on the table, sharing stories of unspoken hurts and the delicate art of seeking acknowledgment while giving space. It's a tightrope walk we all face, and we're here to talk about the missteps and the grace it takes to find balance in love's intricate language.
The heart of our conversation beats to the rhythm of communication—its breakdowns, its silent moments, and its need for validation. We lay it all out on the table, sharing stories of unspoken hurts and the delicate art of seeking acknowledgment while giving space. It's a tightrope walk we all face, and we're here to talk about the missteps and the grace it takes to find balance in love's intricate language.
What I've learned in this situation is that I think too highly of you.
Speaker 2:Is that it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, because if I didn't think that highly of you, you wouldn't hurt me.
Speaker 2:Is that what it is?
Speaker 1:So I've corrected that.
Speaker 2:Okay, so now you just don't think of me as highly, so that way you can't get hurt. Well, we'll just say you're down a couple notches. Hey everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Life After I Do. I'm your host, nisha Jean. I'm here with my husband.
Speaker 1:Malita.
Speaker 2:For somebody who claims to be so tired you are.
Speaker 1:Look here, man. These are my last couple hours of 37. I'm trying to give you.
Speaker 2:You are really, really, really dramatic about this I'm trying to give you.
Speaker 1:You are really really I'm trying to give you all I got. My allergies are kicking up. I'm here, I'm trying to give you everything I got.
Speaker 2:Okay, I appreciate it. How's it feel like your last few hours at 37?
Speaker 1:It felt like I was 30, all over again.
Speaker 2:You feel like 30 all over again, I feel like 30 all over again.
Speaker 1:I feel like I all over again. I feel like 30 all over again. I feel like I'm I mean, I feel like I'm that guy. Oh, okay, I mean, you've been, you've been that guy you know, in the words of my good friend Southern McFly I'm the, I'm the, I'm the one you the one you are you the one?
Speaker 2:You are you the truth? Just make sure you're keeping up. Oh my gosh, I just don't know. Yeah, so this is my babe's last night of 37.
Speaker 1:And he'll be the big 3-8 tomorrow. Yeah, it is what it is.
Speaker 2:Are you excited? You're one more step closer to 40.
Speaker 1:I feel like we got to do something and apparently I'm 12 years to retirement. That's what they told me. Oh, that's what we found out today.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 12 more years and you can retire.
Speaker 1:I said, don't worry. I said, because when my daughters start getting them NIA deals, I'm retired before that.
Speaker 2:Bye, goodbye, but that was really fun information to find out today. When you called me and told me, I was like, really, and you're like, I'm eligible for retirement in 12 years. That's actually pretty good I mean the podcast.
Speaker 1:Well, I can retire next year. Oh my gosh. I mean, that's just from there. You know what? I mean That'll be like my hair got caught, That'll be, we can.
Speaker 2:How was your week, babe?
Speaker 1:It was a roller coaster. I'm just tired yeah. I've been working a lot yeah you have. Because I'm raising what her granny calls her queen diva.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And all she wants to do is Diva stuff. And diva stuff costs money.
Speaker 2:She tries to live a modest diva lifestyle.
Speaker 1:Ain't nothing modest about her lifestyle.
Speaker 2:No, she's not terrible. I feel like sometimes we Don't get me wrong. Kids are costly. Anyway, in general, kids are costly.
Speaker 1:What wives are too.
Speaker 2:I heard they are. I'm telling you I've heard about that I understand, I don't feel like you have a costly wife. To be honest, Like I'm going to be honest with you, I feel like, especially since I've been home, you need to give me credit that I am nowhere near how I was when I was working.
Speaker 1:The thing is is that I have a wife that doesn't like a lot of big purchases. But my wife, she's that wife that when she breaks the 20.
Speaker 2:Why are you talking about me? Like I'm not here, Like I have the kind of wife?
Speaker 1:When you break a 20, it's one purchase. When you break 100, it's going an hour it don't even take an hour to spend $100. I know, but you're not costly, no, okay.
Speaker 2:So here's the thing. You might have a point there. I buy like a bunch of small things, right, but then when you purchase things, you purchase big ticket items.
Speaker 1:Because I know how to save my money for big stuff.
Speaker 2:That's not. That literally has nothing to do with it, Because when I ball, I ball. No, you just like if you see something you'll be like oh, I'm willing to spend X amount of dollars on that one item.
Speaker 1:How was your week, babe?
Speaker 2:Same as yours. I worked hard because the longer you work and the more you're at work, the more my days are also extended. So what you're off the rest of the week, so you just needed an excuse to come home early today.
Speaker 1:I kept asking you constantly do you need me? I'll let these people know. I'll leave right now.
Speaker 2:He kept calling me, talking about oh wait, you need me to come home. You need me to come home. Oh, you know what, babe? Let you know what, babe, let me tell these people I can't work today.
Speaker 1:No, my wife needs me. I'm on the way.
Speaker 2:No, you're not going to use me as your scapegoat, is it an?
Speaker 1:emergency, For me it is.
Speaker 2:You're not going to use me as your scapegoat, but yeah, this week was fun, a little hectic. She started another dance class this week, so that was really exciting. She's been asking to do hip hop, so we have now added hip hop to our schedule.
Speaker 1:I think she just want to do hip hop for the music.
Speaker 2:She okay. So let me just tell you really quick, cause you haven't seen the videos yet. So I think she wants to do hip hop for a couple of reasons, one being she knew she would get new dance clothes. That's the first part. Two, of course, all her dance friends you know they're in her other classes so they're also doing hip hop and she talks to them like after jazz class and ballet and stuff and everyone's like why you don't do hip hop? So she's like in there with her friends. But also when I observed her today she had a lot of fun. She really did it because it's the techniques are different, you know. So she's in there with her friends. But also when I observed her today she had a lot of fun. She really did Because the techniques are different. So she's learning different dance moves and then the music Boy she likes the music.
Speaker 2:She really does like the music.
Speaker 1:What's the song they're dancing to? Because I'm going to have to get over it.
Speaker 2:I don't remember the song but I know they warmed up to Young Jock and they warmed up to this is not age appropriate.
Speaker 1:Is it Kidz Bop? Young Jock?
Speaker 2:No it's not. It's the real versions With the cuss words and everything. No, those are edited, oh.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but they did warm up to some Young Jock.
Speaker 1:Let me go there. And she got my baby popping it to yeah, yeah, glow oh, okay, the pops, all of them.
Speaker 2:You don't see the video. We've got the hand motion, we've got the the hand motion, we got the twist, we got the hip rolls, we got the leg bends.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's all in there.
Speaker 2:Today was her first day it was, and and I'm really, really proud of her because since she came in, like technically in the middle cause we're getting ready to go into recital.
Speaker 1:She came in and she learned the choreography today. Okay, but it was also her last day and we don't pop in and drive right now. Goodbye.
Speaker 2:Goodbye. Um, really, really well, I'm very proud of her, very proud of her.
Speaker 1:But not, you know, yeah, glow.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't put it past him. I mean it's going to be edited, but I mean I would.
Speaker 1:Hang on, I'm going to line that up.
Speaker 2:That's what I was sitting. I think I was like I would actually go. Yeah, I was like I I would. I would be bopping with that too. But yeah, other than that week was good, um busy, full. We had open house, we had um book fair, you know, all the usual stuff on top of practices and everything and the workload. For some reason we're getting towards the end like going into break.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:But I feel like they're getting more work, which I don't understand. I know, you know we're not going to discuss, because I feel like the work is supposed to be getting lighter.
Speaker 1:I don't want to discuss school because I feel like they ain't doing it right.
Speaker 2:What does that mean?
Speaker 1:I just find Bane doing it right.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what we got today.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, talking about our week, you working a lot and me obviously working a lot I feel like there was some I wouldn't say you worked a lot.
Speaker 1:I feel like there was some. I wouldn't say you worked a lot. I'd say you worked.
Speaker 2:Goodbye. We had a little bit of drop in communication this week.
Speaker 1:What do you mean?
Speaker 2:Between you and I, so I wanted to talk about. We had a little bit of what A drop in communication. You wasn't dropping it.
Speaker 1:No, that's the error in communication.
Speaker 2:No no, no. That's the error in communication. No no, no. So I wanted to discuss today dealing with passive-aggressive behavior.
Speaker 1:I use aggressive all week.
Speaker 2:Giving your partner the silent treatment. Who's silent? I wasn't silent in the war, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I talked to you, I said what I needed to say you.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, oh yeah. I talked to you, I said what I needed to say. You.
Speaker 1:If I'm talking to you. You spoke to me and I spoke to you.
Speaker 2:So am I being silent? But you know, no, no, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:Am I being?
Speaker 2:silent. You know what I mean. Am I being?
Speaker 1:silent if I'm talking to you. You know what I mean. I know what you said. No, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:We're not going to get up here and you act like you don't know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Look here, I was in a good mood. I was just playing you some Anita and some Jodeci, and this is what you're doing.
Speaker 2:This is what you're going to do to me hey, real life, real marriage discussions. So we're going to talk about it.
Speaker 1:Are we? I felt like you were going't try to play me.
Speaker 2:How am I trying to play you?
Speaker 1:Go ahead Glo.
Speaker 2:That is not my name. Yeah, Glo Goodbye. That is not my name. That is not my name. So yeah, Dealing with, I like to say that that type of behavior giving your partner the silent treatment is passive-aggressive behavior. Would you agree, or?
Speaker 1:disagree, I would disagree. Tell me why you disagree because now I need to hear. It depends on the time. The passive aggressive is energy, it ain't behavior. Okay, wait a minute. It's the energy. It's the energy behind the behavior no that's because I wasn't saying anything to you, passive. I was just saying hey, I need no I need that. Okay, it was just. Were my words to the point? Yes, they were.
Speaker 2:No, their words weren't to the point because there wasn't words. It was just like if I said, good morning, good morning, there was. What was it? I think it was Monday night, maybe Monday night or Wednesday night or something, and you came in, you didn't say anything to me. I was laying in bed and of course I had my Petty Patty hat on that night. So I was like, oh, you gonna walk into the room, walk into my presence from being outside and not say hey, hello or anything. You're not the man in this house I am.
Speaker 1:I'm the one that gets addressed, like I said, like I said, like I said, so I had petty patty hat on.
Speaker 2:When do you not? I don't, I don't always have my petty patty hat on oh you, would you keep it down low? No, I. I mean, I keep her close by, like she's usually on the nightstand, just in case I have to pick her up, put her on okay um, she's never far, petty, my petty patty hat, she ain't never far. But um, anyway, yeah, you walked in. Normally you'd be like, hey, babe, what's up? There was nothing. So I was like, oh okay, I can see, I can see he's still in his feelings.
Speaker 1:I'm in my feelings.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'm draking it, huh you were literally in your feelings for an entire like not a whole seven days. You were in your feeling for like a solid four days oh okay, I'm just, I was great but you can call it whatever you, whatever you want, whether it's drake or whatever, but you were legit in your this is really how you're gonna do my pre-birthday.
Speaker 1:This is really what you. This is really how you're going to do it. Huh, what do you mean? You really set the tone. You set the bar so low, I guess. I guess.
Speaker 2:Set it low, I guess you don't know what I have planned for you for your birthday.
Speaker 1:I know what I got planned.
Speaker 2:What you got planned.
Speaker 1:Tell me, no, we're talking about it later.
Speaker 2:So, anyway, I would say that you were in your feelings for like a good solid four days and I was doing my best to give you your space. But I know that we have had discussions in the past when we talk about our communication and like working through our communication, and I don't know if you can remember, but what's one of the last things I had told you when we had experienced what I know to be the silent treatment, I said something to you. Do you remember?
Speaker 1:Oh, you always say something. It's the last time you got to be silent with me.
Speaker 2:That's what I told you.
Speaker 1:I was like but I wasn't silent.
Speaker 2:Like I told him. I was like the last time this had happened prior to last week. I told him you have.
Speaker 1:I was not giving you silent treatment. I was talking to you every day.
Speaker 2:Listen, I was like this is the last time you have forewarned, despair, warned to give me the silent treatment.
Speaker 1:Let me ask you this, let me ask you this Hold on.
Speaker 2:Because I feel as though it's passive, aggressive behavior. It's not proper communication, which is what we always try to like engage in with each other. We've been doing really well about putting feelings out on the table, about going through, basically like the checklist, and then it's like one thing sends you over and you immediately like regress, which is fine, because I feel like the whole communication thing is a work in progress. But I was just I was just a little taken back with your behavior last week. Okay, but go ahead, ask me, what do you want to ask me?
Speaker 1:I was. I get you silent treatment. That's how you feel no, I, I okay because I talk to you every day babe now, was it normal communication? No, it was mine, but I was not silent, maurice, you were silent.
Speaker 2:The only communication you gave me was like do I have clean uniforms? Like that. Is that communication? That's it, that was it. Is that communication? No, it's not.
Speaker 1:It is Okay For the basic form of communication.
Speaker 2:Is that what you're trying to say?
Speaker 1:See, see. Is that what you're trying to say?
Speaker 2:But we're not going to act like you don't understand.
Speaker 1:We're not going to act like you don't understand what your behavior was. What we're not going to do is act like I didn't talk to you last week. I'm sorry y'all, my allergies are a mess today.
Speaker 2:That's what we're not going to do. Okay, so what would you say how your behavior was? Was it your normal forms of communication? No, okay, on a scale of one to ten.
Speaker 1:It was a ten out of ten for how I was feeling, because I could have went left.
Speaker 2:It was a ten out of ten for how you were feeling. Yes, okay.
Speaker 1:So let me ask you this I it was a 10 out of 10 for how you were feeling. Yes, okay. So let me ask you this I think I managed my emotions quite real. So if your communication level I even expressed to you Hold on.
Speaker 2:If your communication level was basically your normal level of communication, your normal level of your personality and your character and your vibe, and if everything was perfectly normal, then there would not have been a need for us to have a discussion about no.
Speaker 1:No, I said for how I was feeling. I didn't say I was feeling normal. We definitely had some strides.
Speaker 2:It was some beef, okay, so I guess maybe.
Speaker 1:And I was Kendrick in the beef.
Speaker 2:Okay, so maybe we should go into more in why you weren't bringing that to my attention more, because I have my idea.
Speaker 1:Okay, you know, you go ahead and say your dry idea no.
Speaker 2:I think this is what I think. I believe that you were waiting for me To do what To come to you, uh-huh, and bring it to your attention, or come to you in the capacity of, like, what's wrong? Like, do you need to talk?
Speaker 1:Bring what to your attention.
Speaker 2:Your feelings, about how you were feeling, whatever it is you were going through at the moment.
Speaker 1:That's not true, because I text you how I was feeling and I also, a couple days after that, I told you how I was feeling to you in words.
Speaker 2:Okay, and then? What did you also put in there, in?
Speaker 1:the text message.
Speaker 2:You said I'm not looking for a response. Yeah, I did. And then we had another conversation and then after that it wasn't even a conversation really, it was just. It was you emotionally dumping on me.
Speaker 1:It was me talking about yourself.
Speaker 2:But again you ended that with not looking for a response. I'm not, I had to get off my chest, okay, but then after that, when we went back to talk about it, then you basically came to me and said that you felt like I was ignoring you.
Speaker 1:Well, it's not that you was ignoring me. What I'm saying is is that I didn't require a response from you, but a response would have helped me get out my feelings more, but it wasn't a requirement requirement to what you just said. I know what I said. I said I didn't require a response because I said I came in there. I said my.
Speaker 1:You said not looking for a response and I said my piece the same the way I did in the text message. I said my piece. I laid it all out on the line so you know, you knew what I was going through and how I was feeling. Right, I communicated okay perfectly. Not perfectly, but you communicated. Nonetheless, you communicated. Perfectly would be like that would be a stretch. So I communicated the first time via text.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Right, because I couldn't like. I was at that point. I wanted all the smoke. I wanted all.
Speaker 2:You actually did it, though, or actually you might have, you might have. No, I take that back. You actually did it, though, or actually you might've, you might've. No, I take that back. You might've. And you know. I say that it's because, even even if you and this is where I say like, even for myself, like I don't know if you can call that being petty or what, but when you had texted me, all that, you had texted me, excuse me. When you had texted me all that you had texted me, excuse me. And you put not looking for a response, whether you had put that or not, I wasn't going to respond.
Speaker 1:Yes, you was. No, I wasn't Stop the cap. No, I wasn't Stop the cap. No, I wasn't Stop the cap, I was not going to respond.
Speaker 2:I was absolutely not going to respond. I see, and you know that I wouldn't have responded Now, and you know that I wouldn't have responded, which is now that I'm thinking about it. That's probably why you said that I like you for your response.
Speaker 1:No, I just had to get how I was feeling. Okay, well, I appreciated that I wouldn't have responded anyway, but Because it was affecting me to the point to where I couldn't even function normal outside of home.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's fair.
Speaker 1:So I had to say my piece.
Speaker 2:And that's fair. So I had to say my piece and you usually do that via text and then I text you my piece and normally that works, but I was really hurt. I can understand that.
Speaker 1:So I had to say it verbally, you know because, obviously the text message and then the way I was moving didn't move you. Ok, say it again. It didn't move you.
Speaker 2:Say it again. So you were expecting what you were expecting a reaction out of me.
Speaker 1:I was expecting some type of recourse at least a day or two later.
Speaker 2:OK.
Speaker 1:When I say I'm not looking for you to respond immediately.
Speaker 2:OK.
Speaker 1:Right, but I do want you to acknowledge how I'm feeling. You didn't even do that, yes, and I always try to at least acknowledge how you feeling.
Speaker 2:So you played my life I did, you did and I was ready for your life and I was ready for all the smoke, my dude no, I didn't play your life.
Speaker 1:I was ready for all the smoke I didn't play your life.
Speaker 2:I was ready for all the smoke. I didn't play your life. Now I just want you to understand on my end where I was coming from, Because I do understand what you're saying on your end and this is why I say we dropped the ball in communication last week.
Speaker 1:No, I didn't drop nothing, I laid it in your lap, it was a layup. Okay, you know how you say like you can't read my mind.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know how you say. Like you can't read my mind, yeah, okay, I can't read your mind either. But when you put what you're saying in text and you lay it like how you just said, you laid it out and in the text and even in the conversation, the one-sided conversation we had. What's all this? Because the one-sided conversation that we had, you ended both with not looking for a response.
Speaker 1:Hold on, listen to me, listen to me now, when I said that in the room, when I told you verbally I paused, let you talk. I walked out, I paused.
Speaker 2:Like you, gave me space.
Speaker 1:I gave you space.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And then, when you didn't say nothing, I exited stage.
Speaker 2:Okay, but why would I say something when you ended it with not looking for a response?
Speaker 1:Because, Norman, you can't shut up.
Speaker 2:Okay, but see, so we're going to go back to like how I told you before, when I said you have no more times to give me, but I was not giving you silent treatment.
Speaker 1:Hold on, you were out for that B. Hold on you were out for that.
Speaker 2:You were giving me a form of the silent treatment.
Speaker 1:You were out for that. You, you are wild for that. You are giving me a form of a silent treatment.
Speaker 2:You are wild for that, and I had explained to you the last time that you have no more times to give me the silent treatment right. So I can understand from your perspective where you're saying like, okay, yeah, I said I didn't want a response immediately, but I did expect you to somehow acknowledge my feelings.
Speaker 1:I still meant the fact that you're trying to say I gave you a silent treatment when I did not Listen listen.
Speaker 2:I can understand where you're coming from when you say that you expected me.
Speaker 1:I talk to you every day.
Speaker 2:When you expected me to acknowledge your feelings, like two days later or three days later, right Now, on my end, let me tell you how that was going. Okay, go ahead. I my feelings, my perspective. You were giving me the silent treatment. Okay, my head was. You sent me this text. You expressed how you were feeling, which is fine. A lot of the times and here's the thing everyone communicates differently. I have expressed to you before that when you have important things to say to me or that things that you want to talk about or get off your chest, I'm more of a person to person. I like the intimacy of like looking in your face, looking in your eyes and having these like conversations and having the tough conversations. You're more of the, I feel like, I guess, because you can organize your thoughts better and you're able to get everything that you're saying out without the possibility of interruption.
Speaker 1:Because you're not pressuring me.
Speaker 2:Okay, so that's what I'm saying. So he has this thing where he will Don't pressure me to respond he won't say anything to me, like we'll be at home, we'll sit down and have breakfast, we'll drink coffee, nothing. Soon, as he walks out of the door, he either starts calling me 50 times or he starts sending me 50 million texts about how you've been feeling or something that I did that rubbed you the wrong way.
Speaker 1:Hold on, hold on. No, I got to finish my thought. You got to tell the whole story.
Speaker 2:I got to finish my whole thought about how something I did rubbed you the wrong way, or this, that and the third. So when you sent that text and then you left it with I'm not looking for a response, whether you said I'm not looking for a response or not, I wasn't going to respond. You said that Because because you had been giving me the silent treatment my perspective I guess we can agree to disagree.
Speaker 1:We're going up to.
Speaker 2:You had been giving me the silent treatment, right, right. And so for me I was like you're not going to just come in emotionally, dump on me, leave me with that, and then now it's just my responsibility to just like fix everything. When there was a lot of things going on at once, it wasn't just one-sided, okay. And just because you were feeling all of those feelings and because I haven't said anything doesn't mean that there was more to discuss, aside just from your feelings, if that makes sense. Okay, the way I just explained that, can I say something? So you were, you were listening, just to respond just now.
Speaker 1:No, I will listen to you. Okay, I hear everything you said. Okay, we, we definitely agreed to disagree okay, all right now. Let me tell you this Okay, you know how, like you always say, I just want to feel validated. Who you, uh-huh, you didn't validate me.
Speaker 2:I was going to say uh-huh.
Speaker 1:You didn't validate me at all. Okay, right, so that deepened the wound? Okay, right, mm-hmm Right, mm-hmm Okay. Secondly, I don't know what are you talking about. I talked to you in the capacity in which I need to talk to you, and also, what you understand is that what you didn't say is that a lot of times I send text messages or call when I'm not around, because when I'm in here talking to you face to face you like a defense attorney, you don't be trying to hear what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:I'm a defense attorney yes, you go straight to the defense and then you try to break down my argument.
Speaker 2:That makes me look like I'm crazy that's okay you don't babe, if that is your experience, if that is, your experience of me.
Speaker 1:That must be weird. Your, that is your experience of me. That must be.
Speaker 2:But what's funny, is that your reality is your reality. Your perception is your reality and I can't change that. And who am I to tell you how you're experiencing me? Is wrong. So the fact that you just said this out of your mouth that I don't like Well, you didn't say that I don't validate your feelings. You're just saying, in that instance, I didn't validate your feelings.
Speaker 1:But what you?
Speaker 2:wanted to smoke. Hold on, you didn't say that I don't validate your feelings. You're just saying in that instance, I didn't validate your feelings. But what you told me is you wanted to smoke, hold on, is that something that I normally do Normally? Normally Right. So you want to smoke, right so I do normally validate your feelings, because here's the thing Hold on. But I do right, Hold on.
Speaker 1:For the record, bless you, even though, um, I told you, like you don't have to respond right, right, hold on. And which? No, I didn't. I didn't want you to respond right, I didn't want you to respond right away. After a couple days you could have validated my, my feelings. You never validated my feelings, right. And then, and then, petty patty over here, you want to try to throw, you want to try to throw dirt yeah.
Speaker 1:You want to try to throw dirt on the wound, so when you did that, how did I throw dirt on the wound? By how you started moving, because now you're starting to feel some type of way. Now you're starting to feel some type of way because I feel some type of way. So I'm like okay, so I guess we both going to feel some type of way and it's World War III in this motherfucker.
Speaker 2:It's not World War III, because I just didn't say anything. You did, what did I say?
Speaker 1:Okay, what did I say In your actions? You did oh.
Speaker 2:Okay. Kind of like how I said when you were giving me the silent treatment and you said no, I didn't give you the silent treatment.
Speaker 1:What I'm saying is I could tell that you felt some way about me by them shitty ass lunches you was giving me for lunch.
Speaker 2:But did you eat?
Speaker 1:Barely.
Speaker 2:But did you eat?
Speaker 1:A couple days I threw that shit away.
Speaker 2:You just didn't feel the love.
Speaker 1:Wasn't no love there.
Speaker 2:There was no love in your meals.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Oh, so you can taste the difference.
Speaker 1:I was going to say that somewhere else. Don't say don't say stuff like. You know how my brain worked there was no love in there do not say things like that to me.
Speaker 2:No but I'm just saying. But you also saw. I wouldn't say a shift, but you noticed my behavior change.
Speaker 1:I saw that you was being petty so I said, let's be petty.
Speaker 2:How was I being petty? And I came, I said, I said I was giving you your space and that's what.
Speaker 1:And that's Nah. You was acting. You was acting, see, but see what is what is from your perspective. Here's the thing. It makes sense. No, this is this is what really happened. Right, you wronged me.
Speaker 2:You felt as though I wronged you.
Speaker 1:No, you could whatever Okay.
Speaker 2:In my reality. You wronged me, Okay, I felt as though you wronged me too, right so?
Speaker 1:Did you address it?
Speaker 2:Did I address what?
Speaker 1:Did I wrong you? You didn't, because I didn't wrong you. So you wronged me. I addressed it. I addressed it. I addressed it, addressed it, lord jesus I wasn't gonna correct you, I I addressed it. Okay, right then. I, then you. Instead of responding in a way to try to mend the fences, you, you come out petty, batty right. So I'm like it's World War 3 sometimes, in love, you gotta have war. I said battles on and the words of the great.
Speaker 1:This is all that's going on in his head, and the words of the great late DMX the heat is on this is all what's sticking?
Speaker 2:out in his head war, and I'm like this, like this is it. This is it.
Speaker 1:I have to stand my ground.
Speaker 2:And I stood mine and you didn't like it and show no grievance. You didn't like it, did you? Who folded? You didn't like it. Who folded? You folded.
Speaker 1:No one folded. I did not fold.
Speaker 2:I did not fold, you didn't fold.
Speaker 1:I did not fold you did it. No, you sure how do I fold?
Speaker 2:You sure?
Speaker 1:How do I fold?
Speaker 2:Because when you weren't getting the reaction out of me that you thought you were going to get out of me, that's when you came and you started laying more of it out and then started expressing to me how you felt. And then you came to me and you're just like, basically in so many words, like this is what I need from you and like I miss you?
Speaker 1:No, I never told you, I missed you?
Speaker 2:No, not those words, but I'm saying like in your actions and how you were describing what you were talking to me about.
Speaker 1:I did what every man does, what we hold on to it. Uh-huh, it eats us up.
Speaker 2:Up.
Speaker 1:Then we digest it and go on about life.
Speaker 2:We just store it you held on to it. It eats you up.
Speaker 1:You digest it you store it, you break it down, you store it in the back because, as a man, it don't matter. I still have to go on with life but that's not just a man thing. I don't care about women right now, I'm talking about men, because you wronged me and I still provided you a life and in return I got lackluster lunches oh my goodness.
Speaker 2:Nonetheless, you still got a clean home.
Speaker 1:Your child was taken care of your errands were ran, your food was cooked for you. What else your?
Speaker 2:laundry was done, everything else that you required. Your errands were ran. That's not for me. Your food was cooked for you. That's not for me. What else? Your laundry was done, everything else that you required.
Speaker 1:We're not going to talk, hold on, no, everything else that was required Because, like you said, you still had to provide for me. Hold on, hold on. We're not going to talk about, I still provided for you. We're not going to talk about. And where.
Speaker 2:What do you mean and where?
Speaker 1:Where is it at?
Speaker 2:Downstairs. Oh you mean because it isn't folded yet it?
Speaker 1:ain't folded.
Speaker 2:Okay, but who's going to fold it? I am who's?
Speaker 1:going to wear the clothes. Who's going to wear it? It's part of the agreement we have agreed upon.
Speaker 2:I can't wait for people to hear that one. I don't care, I'm no problems with that.
Speaker 1:So it is your job.
Speaker 2:Okay, I have no problems with that, but what you're not going to try to make it seem like is I stopped doing my end of the deal, I had to beg for you to do my laundry.
Speaker 1:You did not have to beg. I said babe, I need work clothes.
Speaker 2:Jamel, you did not have to beg me to do your laundry. Why would?
Speaker 1:you tell a fib, so don't sit here why?
Speaker 2:would you tell a fib like that I'm keeping a hundred, that's the only thing. You never keep it a hundred, you keep it 80.
Speaker 1:Or like 75%, I'm keeping it a hundred, like my homeboy smooth say I'm keeping it a bean, I'm keeping it a bean.
Speaker 2:That's your boy. He don't know you I don't care.
Speaker 1:I know him, that's my boy. I'm keeping it a bean no and, like Trill said, prayers are all part of you.
Speaker 2:Bye but okay, so I mean outside from wanting to you know, talk about like partners giving each other the silent treatment because of our experience last week I wanted to ask you and I want your serious thoughts, I want your serious thoughts Whether you agree that you gave me the silent treatment or not, I didn't. Okay, for the sake of the discussion, you didn't. Do you think that that could possibly be a trauma response?
Speaker 2:what like giving someone the silent treatment when you feel like your feelings are hurt or like your feelings for me personally, sure no, no, no.
Speaker 1:That's how I internalize. It's just me internalizing.
Speaker 2:I'm not gonna deal with you because I'm not in a space to deal with you properly, because if I deal with you right now, it's going to be smoke because I like I think about it sometimes so you need to give me credit for my if it doesn't like if it, if someone's giving you the silent treatment and you're taking it on like you're just internalizing it, it's not worth speaking, it's not worth saying anything. But then you get upset with when the person doesn't acknowledge acknowledge you. I'm not upset, wait, I'm not saying you personally, I'm just saying like in general I'm not.
Speaker 1:I'm not gonna talk in general, I'm talking, I'm gonna talk about in our situation. Okay, so I wasn't upset that you didn't address it Right Immediately. You ain't addressed it at all. Don't stop the cap, keep it a bean, ok. Ok, you ain't addressed it at all, so I was hurt. He asked for not to not respond. I was hurt. Like I said, I was hurt and then you didn't invalidate my hurt, right?
Speaker 2:so now, I didn't validate, you didn't validate my hurts, right.
Speaker 1:So now you've left me to interpret that you don't care I could see that which you didn't that's not true as far as I know, you don't care. So that's how, that's what, that's what is. That's what it's stored as in my memory brain. Okay.
Speaker 2:So let me ask you this what could I have said to you that would have made you feel validated?
Speaker 1:I mean, I don't know. You normally say something smart.
Speaker 2:I normally have the right words to say to you, yeah, and that usually takes care of it. You're a wordster, I'm a wordster.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's not a to say to you, yeah, and that usually like, takes care of it.
Speaker 2:You're a worster, I'm a worster.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's not a thing, but it is Okay. Look it up, but like in your eyes genuinely what, like, what would have satiated that feeling for you? You?
Speaker 1:never even told me I'm sorry, mm-hmm. I said, okay, this is what we're doing, all right, okay, I said as much as I say sorry for shit, I don't even believe it's true.
Speaker 2:I just take the blame.
Speaker 1:So if I say to you right now, babe, You're doing it for the views and I don't get in the house. I'm not going to take it.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to take it. My apologies are always genuine, always. You just, you literally just said yourself. You did you pretty much just I said you a wordster.
Speaker 1:I didn't say anything.
Speaker 2:But you. But you also said like even with me being a wordster like that.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to sit here and lie to the people.
Speaker 2:Ain't nobody asking you to lie. No one's asking you to lie. I think they. Usually I'm not going to sit here and lie to the people. Ain't nobody asking you to lie. No one's asking you to lie. I think they are. I'm just trying to have a real life discussion Because I know that we're not the only people that go through.
Speaker 1:I'm pretty sure there are a lot of wives out there hurting their husbands and he's just taking the hit and taking it to the chin and just keep on life. Yeah, that's what men do. That's what men do. We're used to not being supported. Wow, when the ones we love don't support us, it don't really hurt as much.
Speaker 2:It doesn't. Is that what we're going with? Yeah?
Speaker 1:So what I've learned in this situation is that I think too highly of you.
Speaker 2:Is that it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, because if I didn't think that highly of you, you wouldn't hurt me.
Speaker 2:Is that what it is, so?
Speaker 1:I've corrected that.
Speaker 2:Okay, so now you just don't think of me as highly, so that way you can't get hurt. Well, just say you're down a couple notches.
Speaker 1:Well, that's fine, that don't mean I don't love you.
Speaker 2:I knocked you down a couple of notches too.
Speaker 1:I love you, babe, this ain't gonna do with love yeah, it does, yeah it does and the words of the great late sugar free why are you quoting people tonight? Don't get me wrong. Baby, I love you too on that rent, on that car. Note what's love gonna do get us through.
Speaker 2:Ooh bars, did I just bar?
Speaker 1:you're not gonna do that sugar free, did I, I think, and I said late.
Speaker 2:Great sugar free is not dead.
Speaker 1:Oh, bars, did I just bar? You're not supposed to do that to Sugar Free, did I? I think I just and I said late grade, sugar Free is not dead.
Speaker 2:I think you're tired. I am, but no, for real did I just bar. But small finger though Get Don't be so gross.
Speaker 1:That's a Sugar Free album. You're supposed to be from the West Coast, no, no.
Speaker 2:No, I don't want to do that.
Speaker 1:I mess with you. I mess with sugar-free.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but anywho, I do want to say that I do apologize If you felt like I didn't validate you. Why are you looking at me like that?
Speaker 1:Don't come up here and give me some soft, sad I'm not giving you soft sad anything.
Speaker 2:I'm looking you in your face and I'm telling you that I apologize to you.
Speaker 1:Apologize with your body.
Speaker 2:I'm telling you that I apologize, okay, because it's never my intention to hurt your feelings. Okay.
Speaker 1:You did that a lot this week.
Speaker 2:Okay, I mean.
Speaker 1:At one time point I thought about loosening all your lug nuts, but you got my baby in the car.
Speaker 2:Now you're trying to collect insurance policies.
Speaker 1:If anything was to happen to me, guys, Don't worry, the corner would cause a death be natural.
Speaker 2:I'm just telling you, my brakes are squeaky right now so I don't know what to make of that. I'll change them tomorrow. Okay, I'm just letting everybody know, just in case you guys heard it here, heard what you heard it first.
Speaker 1:You heard it first, just in case, because you just said that you were going to loosen up my lug nuts are you going to sum up what we just talked about, because I feel like you tried to give yourself a pass for how you no.
Speaker 2:I'm not trying to give myself a pass. What I, just what I. What I would sum up is the takeaways. We had a drop in communication. I think, going forward like we do normally, when you feel like something has, or when you feel like I've wronged you in some way or you're feeling some type of way, just bring it to me, like you normally do. That's why I was just like I brought it to you. No, you didn't bring it to me. I texted to you. No, okay, but you followed it up with don't respond, you don't.
Speaker 1:No no.
Speaker 2:If the shoe was on the other foot? You have to be If the shoe was on the other foot and I texted you half of a story about how I was feeling and I left you with do not respond or not looking for a response and you didn't respond. And then I come back to you 48 hours later or 72 hours later and say you know what? I know that I put in a text message, not looking for a response, but you could have responded.
Speaker 1:First of all, what would?
Speaker 2:you say to me, you would say the same thing that I'm saying.
Speaker 1:First of all, I would have no, because I would have addressed it the day after.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And I don't think you understand the level on which you heard me.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:It was deep.
Speaker 2:But you didn't, you didn't, you didn't like I did.
Speaker 1:I conveyed that. I conveyed that message in verbal.
Speaker 2:Okay, and then you told me not to say anything after.
Speaker 1:I told me. I said I'm not looking for. I never said, I never said don't say anything.
Speaker 2:I said I'm not looking for you said not looking for a response. I never said you didn't say I'm not looking. You said. You said it with your, with your attitude, Not looking for a response. It's fine, you know what You're going to believe what you want to believe You're going to believe what you want to believe.
Speaker 1:Are we?
Speaker 2:going to have to agree to disagree on this one.
Speaker 1:I know I'm going to be there. They know I'm going to be there.
Speaker 2:What are you talking about?
Speaker 1:Whatever conclusion you're trying to make.
Speaker 2:I'm not trying to make a conclusion. I'm just saying that we're human too, that we're human too, like everyone else, and I know that you know we're not the only people that go through these pitfalls of communication.
Speaker 1:I'm not human. I'm an Android with an iPhone.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:But I'm, I have a Google software, okay, but I use an iPhone, okay, anyway, I use the iPhone.
Speaker 2:Okay, anyway, just moving forward, and for anybody else out there who go through these communication pitfalls especially if you have a partner who's giving you the silent treatment I would say even when it's difficult, just express to your partner how you're feeling, if you want there to be an apology, if you're looking more for an apology, if you're looking for more discussion, just say that. Don't let them know. Not looking for a response, but then expecting them to respond.
Speaker 1:This is the second time you've had an episode where your whole goal was to get at me.
Speaker 2:I'm not getting at you.
Speaker 1:I'm starting to take this personal.
Speaker 2:I'm literally not getting at you, it's cool. But I'm just saying because I know I mean that's the point of the podcast it's. You know, that's life after I do. These are the things that are going to be continuous Like. Communication is something that we're always working on, are we? We are.
Speaker 1:Because you didn't communicate much this week.
Speaker 2:You didn't communicate to me. I didn't know what you wanted me to say. Oh, we got next.
Speaker 1:People, people. I displayed a level of emotional intelligence I've never displayed before, displayed before what she just laid, what she just laid.
Speaker 2:Okay. She saw my feelings and she said I dropped the ball with his feelings this week, I guess.
Speaker 1:She saw my feelings, she said I said what there's some hotter dogs hit on me long.
Speaker 2:Oh, wow, really Okay. Well, I don't like that. You feel that I thought your feelings were a pile of dog poo on the lawn. I do apologize.
Speaker 1:Then she went and got the hose and sprayed me to the street.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh. Okay, Moving into our two cents.
Speaker 1:I don't know why, because I got forced to tell you about this week.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, tell me.
Speaker 1:Tell me I'm done.
Speaker 2:You see what you do. It's just like the text message All over again.
Speaker 1:I did that on purpose.
Speaker 2:Oh, I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Tell me Look here, I've dealt with it. Uh-huh, I've stored it, okay, and I've just We'll talk about it. No, we're not talking about it.
Speaker 2:You don't want to talk about it now.
Speaker 1:No, I'm over it Okay.
Speaker 2:I don't think that you are.
Speaker 1:I feel it myself.
Speaker 2:It's not necessarily anything I want you to be over.
Speaker 1:I feel it myself enough internally, I don't have to. Don't bring up old wounds you don't want to this week I threw a lot of what Himalayan Okay Salt, because you was looking a little confused. No, I caught it.
Speaker 2:But I'm just saying, I'm just wondering why you chose to use Himalayan.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Sea salt better. Well, do you tell me what kind of salt you were throwing into my wounds this week? You tell me what kind of salt you throw any salt into your room oh, you'll make it right in here properly, that's for sure okay, I was just trying to give you your space.
Speaker 2:I know that in the past there was nothing. You have expressed that when you're having a emotionally difficult time, that it's best that you have space so that you can work through it. So I was also giving you space to work through it. Okay, because you expressed to me how you felt.
Speaker 1:You wasn't giving me too much space. You were still asking me to do shit around here.
Speaker 2:I didn't want to try to interject because, for one, you asked me not to respond.
Speaker 1:Hold on, because for one you asked me not to respond. Hold on hold on, we live. We live in two separate realities because most of the time, because, while you did not interject on my pain, you kept that him laying out there what salt? You did interject on things you thought that I was not taking care of.
Speaker 2:Like what, like around the house In general. Around the house, I mean, I feel like those are daily conversations.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 2:Like.
Speaker 1:So we had daily conversations about gay and silent treatment.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:Make it make sense. I said I feel like those are daily conversations, ladies and gentlemen, are two cents.
Speaker 2:Okay, feel like those are daily conversations, ladies and gentlemen, are two cents okay, I like. I like when he thinks he's had a point about something, but but he really did it but okay, are you done?
Speaker 1:but okay are you done?
Speaker 2:no, I'm not done are you done? No, I'm not done, because if we weren't having like, what are you talking about? Like if you tell, if you ask me or say like, oh, hey, I need uniforms, okay, that's it one uniform, that's it. And then, if I say if I say, hey, the bathrooms, uh, downstairs bathroom needs to be in the toilet is that communication okay?
Speaker 1:it's technically communicating but it's not our treatment.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'm talking to you, want you. Silent treatment means I'm not talking to you at all you know, you know, you know exactly what I mean no, I know what you're saying.
Speaker 2:There was no there was no normal level of communication amongst us. You were purposely avoiding me, unless you absolutely couldn't at all like if you didn't ask, if you didn't have to ask me for a uniform, you wouldn't have asked me for a uniform. I shouldn't have to ask. Hold on, if you were, if you didn't ask, if you didn't have to ask me for a uniform, you wouldn't have asked me for a uniform I shouldn't have to ask, hold on if you were, if you didn't need to ask me for something, you wouldn't have asked me for it.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's what I mean by silent treatment. All right, you only spoke to me if you needed something. All right, that was it. Okay, all right, that was it. Outside of that, there was no good morning. There was not a good evening, there was not. Hey, how you doing.
Speaker 1:That's not true. That is absolutely true. I said hey every time I came home. No, you didn't. When you said hey to me, absolutely did not.
Speaker 2:When you greeted me when you came in the house from work. Hold on, came in the house from work the night after, when I was upstairs. You said nothing, okay.
Speaker 1:I know, I remember, I remember. I got nothing else, because we remember the week.
Speaker 2:We always remember these things.
Speaker 1:Totally different.
Speaker 2:Totally different, see, and that's why it's important for us to not get off track when talking about how we feel about things and not responding with don't need a response.
Speaker 1:Because, then we could have further talked about it, you acting really deli-loo right now.
Speaker 2:Then we could have further talked about it. That's all I'm saying. All right, okay, so getting into our two cents. Turn your eyes on the radio. I'm not what, huh? What'd you say?
Speaker 1:Nothing.
Speaker 2:Yes, you did.
Speaker 1:What'd you? Nothing at all. Okay, let's get into this one.
Speaker 2:I got seven cents tonight. What? Why do you keep bubbling things? What are you saying Sorry, did you say something? What are you saying Nothing, go ahead, oh my gosh. Okay, am I the asshole for making my wife confess to all her friends and family that she cheated on me and that, if she did not, I would want a divorce?
Speaker 1:I like this. I like this.
Speaker 2:I've been married to my wife for five years and we have three children. A few months ago I found out from my wife's text messages that she's been cheating on me and I confronted her about it. She confessed to it and gave me an entire breakdown of their affair, which had lasted for months. I was devastated and asked her why. She gave no excuse for it and she said she had caught feelings. For her part, she had caught feelings that led to an affair with her partner from work. I asked her if I was lacking anything and she said no, but she was in tears. I needed a few days to process this. My wife gave me space, but she asked me many times to reconsider divorce because it would uproot the lives of our children. She said she would do anything that I wanted for the rest of my life if I did it.
Speaker 2:After a week I decided that I needed only one thing from my wife to completely forgive her, and that was to call each and every one of our friends and family and confess her affair. I told her that was my only condition. She was really hesitant and asked me if I could reconsider the condition, because this would ruin a lot of her friendships and her family relationships. But I told her that this is what I needed as part of the forgiveness process and that if she didn't do it, I was going to start looking for a divorce lawyer. Over the next week, my wife made a phone call to all of her friends parents, grandparents, siblings, uncles, aunts, pretty much anyone she knew and confessed her affair. It was hurtful and there was a lot of crying. My wife was hurtled with a lot of shouting by the week's end. My wife, am I the asshole for doing that? This has hurt her a lot and she spends a lot of nights crying alone, but she says it was all worth it for our relationship. Am I the asshole for doing that?
Speaker 1:No, I would have doubled down Because I wouldn't have stayed. I would have had her call everybody and then left. I'm real, I can't do it.
Speaker 2:I can't do it. You would have had her call everybody and then left, so that that way, when the divorce happened, people wouldn't assume that it was your fault.
Speaker 1:It was her. They know why.
Speaker 2:And they know that because she's the one who said it. That's exactly that's where I thought it was going. That's what, yeah.
Speaker 1:I said oh, I like this Because you know a lot.
Speaker 2:you know because when people hear divorce, they automatically think it was the man that, yeah Like either he cheated or what made me mad, is that?
Speaker 1:what I got from this is that she just got bored and it was something new and fresh, and and she and she fed into it.
Speaker 2:Because here's the thing I think that when people have been together for so long, um, when you still get attention from the opposite sex, there is still that part of you that's kind of like oh, like, okay, like some people still do find me attractive, or you can get a little excited and get beside yourself. But, some people, some people take that feeling, some people take that attention and they just run with it.
Speaker 1:Oh, definitely I know people like that. Yeah, they take that attention and they run with it Well definitely.
Speaker 2:I know people like that. Yeah, they take that attention and they run with it.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean when I say I know people like that, I know people who take the attention and they don't go far with it, but they just it's like a confidence booster.
Speaker 2:They like to have this. Yeah, it's like a confidence booster because I think, especially when you have been together so long, it's not to say that there's anything wrong with your partner or the attention that you're getting from your partner is not enough, but at some point it's just like you know.
Speaker 1:No, you just get to the point to where anytime you're introduced to something that's outside the norm is exciting Right.
Speaker 2:From a stranger, especially when it's feeding into your ego.
Speaker 1:That's what it is. It feeds into the ego and we all. A stranger.
Speaker 2:Especially when it's feeding into your ego. That's what it is. It feeds into the ego and we all have one. I'm just regular. No, you have one, we all have one, baby, just regular. Everyone has an ego.
Speaker 1:But he's not an asshole at all. Who? He's just a double down and still left.
Speaker 2:Oh him.
Speaker 1:Right, Because the whole tears breaking. She wouldn't think about the family when she was busting open for a boy. Why I look Kudos to old man he's a real one. I couldn't do it, Because every time I see you I'm like how'd you go for him?
Speaker 2:Oh my goodness, I can't but see this also. This kind of that kind of takes me back to the conversation of how, when men cheat and women forgive them, it's supposed to be like you know, it was a mistake, it won't happen again. We can work through it, but when women cheat on men, y'all be like oh no.
Speaker 1:Oh, absolutely not. Let me tell you why I have my thinking of this right.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:When a man cheats right. I know where this is going, but okay, I am giving, I am giving.
Speaker 2:Okay, right, I'm giving. What are you giving?
Speaker 1:That thing when a woman cheats she's receiving. So she's opening herself up. I don't have to open myself up to give.
Speaker 2:I can walk away marie, a woman can walk away too, not all of them she can walk away all of them she can walk away.
Speaker 1:Yes, no, not all of them. Yes, not all of them.
Speaker 2:Sex can be just as mindless for women as it is for men at times.
Speaker 1:You know I say yeah if it's a celebrity, no, not even if not, it doesn't even have to be a celebrity okay, look here you, you really think?
Speaker 2:you really think that every time a woman has like, even if it's a one-night stand, you really think that she has like real emotional attachments? No, I know that there's whores out there. Oh my goodness, if a man has a one night stand, is he a whore. He's a master key and if a woman has a one night stand, a shitty lock. So a man having a one night stand, I didn't say it's a morally thing to do, but he's not a whore. No, if a woman has a one-night stand, or why, you know why I don't I'm asking you. You know what I know. I'm asking you, I don't have to answer that.
Speaker 2:But why won't you answer it?
Speaker 1:Because you know the answer.
Speaker 2:I'm literally asking you why? Because I don't have the answer. I want to know what your thought process about that is Because a woman's value is directly tied to her body. Okay, I can understand that. I can see your perspective about that.
Speaker 1:Okay, you want to be a whore so bad.
Speaker 2:Fyi, that's a running joke of our relationship. He always says you want to be a whore so bad. Nobody's stopping you. I know no one's stopping me, Just know you can't come back here I wouldn't Well, after you make them phone calls. How would even do that, because I need a record. I wouldn't even do that. I'd be like, okay, just draw off the papers bro wow, you probably wouldn't feel remorse.
Speaker 1:You'd be like I still won't have I.
Speaker 2:I want what I've worked for.
Speaker 1:You lost it.
Speaker 2:I've lost what. What you work for, okay, but the same rules would have to apply to you too.
Speaker 1:I'm not a cheater, I'm a lover.
Speaker 2:I'm not a cheater either. I'm a lover. No, you're a. You're going to stop calling me a whore on these interwebs.
Speaker 1:Look, you said you wanted to be real conversation. I call you that in real life all the time. You want me to call you. The other thing I call you too.
Speaker 2:What? Oh no, that's only when I'm at the gym. Yeah, that's only when I'm at the gym. I don't mind that when we're working out and he's trying to push me to another rep when I feel like I absolutely cannot do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but that's only because like, and you be in a gym dressed like a whore too.
Speaker 2:I do not. I wear a sports bra and pants.
Speaker 1:Baby, you have a shelf. You can't hide all that shit.
Speaker 2:Okay, what should I wear? A denim skirt, a parka?
Speaker 1:That was that thing called. That covered the whole body.
Speaker 2:This has been another episode of Life After I Do Podcast, if you are not following us on our social media.
Speaker 1:I didn't do it at the beginning of my dog, no, because you were playing too much.
Speaker 2:If you're not following us on social media, you can follow us at Life After I Do Podcast.
Speaker 1:You got four days on.
Speaker 2:TikTok. Oh my gosh, stop saying that, because they out of here.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, stop saying that TikTok is not going anywhere.
Speaker 2:There you go TikTok, instagram, facebook, youtube, life After I Do podcast. You can also write into the podcast at lifeafteridopodcast at gmailcom. If there's a question that you guys have or a certain topic you want to hear us cover, to hear about our experience, possibly, go ahead and write in to us. We have new episodes every wednesday and until then, guys, peace.