Life isn't always power-ups and victory laps. We peel back the curtain on the grim reality of accidents as Nesha G recounts the gut-wrenching call about Moelthal's motorcycle crash. It's a gripping tale of love, fear, and the battle to regain normalcy in the midst of chaos.
Life isn't always power-ups and victory laps. We peel back the curtain on the grim reality of accidents as Nesha G recounts the gut-wrenching call about Moelthal's motorcycle crash. It's a gripping tale of love, fear, and the battle to regain normalcy in the midst of chaos.
I was just running away because I didn't know what was going on and, quite literally, the only thing that was racing through my mind was like my worst fear is here. Hey, everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Life After I Do. I'm your host, nisha G, and I'm here with my husband, who is singing.
Speaker 2:Molito, molito, heyito.
Speaker 1:Molito hey babe.
Speaker 2:Hey Buscaronis, How's?
Speaker 1:it going.
Speaker 2:It's going Buscaronis. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:Such a popular saying in our house, buscaronis How's everything?
Speaker 2:Everything is everything.
Speaker 1:Everything is everything, you're not.
Speaker 2:Lauren Calm down.
Speaker 1:Hey, everything is everything.
Speaker 2:You're not.
Speaker 1:Lauren Calm down. Hey, everything is everything. You're not, lauren Calm down Whatever.
Speaker 2:Lord Must come spring.
Speaker 1:Must come spring.
Speaker 2:Change.
Speaker 1:Change comes eventually, eventually.
Speaker 2:I'm going to send this to Drake so you can be dissed by Kendrick. Too Scandalous. How was your week, Booskies?
Speaker 1:My week was really good oh what'd you do? Family time. Got to hang out with you a little. Family time Universal was the highlight of my week. That was really fun. Word we decided to do an impromptu uh visit to Universal Studios, so we originally had plans on taking her to the zoo. I don't know how we pivot from the San Diego Zoo to Universal Studios Hollywood, but it is what it is. Eight o'clock in the morning, we were like let's just go to Universal, I think because we both wanted to see Super Mario World.
Speaker 2:It was for us and I got the most coins.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's debatable. But you don't even know if you got the most coins. You never got your little wristband check.
Speaker 2:I took that.
Speaker 1:Which, by the way, for those of you who have not gone to Tomorrow World.
Speaker 2:It's just a souvenir.
Speaker 1:You know it's a cool souvenir, those power-up bands that they try to convince you to buy. They're cool souvenirs, but they are so not worth it. No.
Speaker 2:All you get is this kind of stuff in the app. Yeah, you don't really get much.
Speaker 1:Even when you speak to one of the what are they called, there's an actual title for the people who work there.
Speaker 2:Workers.
Speaker 1:Okay, the workers, but that's not what they're called. But anywho, even when you talk to them and you ask them, like what do I get for the points and stuff, they kind of shake their head like it's not really anything. Like we just got you to spend another $45. You get something you got a really cool wristband that looks like it does a lot of things, but it really does not, but anywho.
Speaker 2:Super Mario.
Speaker 1:World was my favorite. Mario Kart was my fave.
Speaker 2:I really liked Mario Kart.
Speaker 1:It was your jizz, it was my jizz, obviously seeing the smile on her face, like her taking pictures with Toad and you know doing, because she plays Super Mario Kart here at home on the DS the Switch.
Speaker 2:How old are you?
Speaker 1:shoot. I just aged myself, didn't I? I'm proud of my age I'm 37 time to get a new one. You know what Dave said bye, I'm 37 and I pray that I live to see 73. He want mine. Okay, dave said he want mine, so, anywho, yeah, so that was probably like my highlight. And then, of course, seeing her so happy, she was like really happy, she was really excited.
Speaker 2:Really spoiled.
Speaker 1:Because the last time we went she was in a stroller, so it's not like she did much but this time she was able to get on everything except for Harry Potter and the mummy.
Speaker 2:What was it Harry Potter?
Speaker 1:It was only the one of the two Harry Potters. She got on the roller coaster. She got on the hippo I think it's called the hippogriff. She wasn't able to get on. I forgot what the other one's called. But she wasn't able to get on that one because you have to be 48 inches and she's just under 48 inches, um. So she wasn't able to get on that, but she was able to do everything else, so that made it so much easier. I think now that she's older and she's getting older, things like that, like going to amusement parks and stuff is more worth it now because she can actually experience things as before.
Speaker 1:It's like even when we went for ourselves, we still had a baby attached to us, so it's not like we could do much now we can ball out I don't want to say all that, but yeah, that was really fun ball out with fun yeah, that was fun and then we had a family day over the weekend, so that was really good. But she was like tapped out by saturday and she was like we, we, just we went to what was it? The mall, because he needed new Crocs.
Speaker 2:That was on Friday.
Speaker 1:Friday he needed new Crocs.
Speaker 2:A family that Crocs together, rocks together.
Speaker 1:We were at the mall and stuff and she goes are we going home yet?
Speaker 2:Like when are we going home?
Speaker 1:She was like we've been out.
Speaker 2:Like like when are we going home?
Speaker 1:she was like we've been out like we've been doing something like every day like I'm, I'm done. Okay, y'all, y'all didn't make sure I had a good spring break. What are we going home? I need a break, spring break, I need a break. So, um, yeah, that was really good. So I had a pretty good weekend. I enjoyed spending time with you guys. That was fun. That's great. Yeah, how was your weekend?
Speaker 2:My weekend was great. On Thursday I annihilated my family, and I do mean annihilated them. I collected the most coins. I conquered Bowser's Castle. The little boy in me was so excited. It wasn't even about the family, it was a competition. From the moment we walked through the tunnel they thought it was nice and fun and games. I said it's on. Do you know how many people I hit with blue shells and green shells on Mario Kart? You know how fun that was. You know how much I enjoyed myself beating little kids in games I had been playing for years. It was a great Thursday.
Speaker 1:It was a great Thursday.
Speaker 2:Then I got new Crocs.
Speaker 1:He was so excited about his Crocs. So we go into the Crocs store and they're having a sell on clearance and they're buy two, get two free.
Speaker 2:So he's just like, oh my gosh, I came over, I came right I need even more crops. I came on the right day. I came on the right day.
Speaker 1:You don't. You came on the right day we we still ended up walking out with what we needed, because then, of course, the things that you like are not on clearance.
Speaker 2:Of course. So, like or not, on clearance, of course so, like especially hers, we ended up paying full price for hers, okay so then on Friday we got, you know, we did some shopping, got some clothes and some crocs and stuff, and on Saturday we enjoyed ourselves at the impromptu oh yeah, I completely forgot about that yeah, because you don't care, because you don't care um because you still listen to R Kelly.
Speaker 1:Well, because you still listen to R Kelly. Well, he says that because, okay, so we went and saw Deon Cole. We went and saw Deon Cole on Saturday and he was okay, and I don't think I mentioned this to you, but I'm gonna be like, super honest, like I absolutely loved Deon Cole. He was really great In the beginning, though, like, super honest, like I absolutely loved the uncle. He was really great in the beginning, though like I feel like he was being like an asshole, but because he's also a comedian and if you've ever watched his stand-up and you see like I thought he was in character, the whole time.
Speaker 1:Right, you thought he was in character, but he was low-key, not playing, I think when he said that to that woman? He was, I think he was tired.
Speaker 2:He was tired, yes, and he said that to that woman Because he was tired. He was tired.
Speaker 1:Yes, and he made that very clear.
Speaker 2:But it was hilarious.
Speaker 1:You could tell him and the person that came out before him to warm up the crowd and stuff Ocean somebody, but he was really funny too, but you can tell they are just like they are done. They were ready to get in the car and head back to wherever it is they come back from, because they've been doing this for the last. What three days? Three days straight. And, with all that being said, it was still a great show and it was still a great show, but I could definitely see the fatigue and the tiredness.
Speaker 2:My nigga. He said he told us he was tired and that if he saw a pillow the show might be over, right? He?
Speaker 1:did Like Dion. When he came out, he was like I am sleepy as shit and he was like and I've been eating all day and I just finished eating. Like, even when they announced him to come out, he didn't even come out right away.
Speaker 2:He was still eating.
Speaker 1:He was still eating. He was like I was still eating. So first of all that kind of like rubbed me in the wrong way. I don't know why? Why he did an hour and a half of content, I know, but I do get it. That's why I said I still enjoyed myself. But anywho, when he came out and he was telling us how sleepy he was, he was really tired.
Speaker 1:I thought that was about my week and he just took over he was like if I see a pillow, it's over you know the whole nine. And there was like this preface and they kept saying like don't talk to him, don't like uh make direct uh questions or anything, like every everybody was saying this, like they were making it very pertinent, like do not talk to him and do not like heckle him or anything like that, right and but it's always been to.
Speaker 1:We've been to the improv multiple times and I literally have never been told that with the comedian like. The last comedian we saw was um bruce bruce and bruce bruce. The reason why I really liked his set is because he's very audience interactive, like he. But every comic, every comic is different. I know that's what I'm saying, but just let me okay. So anyway, they were telling us not to talk to him.
Speaker 1:He didn't want he didn't want to be talked to and all this other stuff so he had was talking about, um, making a joke and a reference into how uh shouts out to women who don't sync their phone contacts with their car.
Speaker 1:Right, because you know he was with a young lady and like don't tell all the jokes, I'm not, and her side piece was calling and blah, blah, and he was like women, y'all are like, you know, you guys are real ones, y'all do you know. You guys do the craziest things. And then a girl yelled out. She was like men too, don't forget the men too.
Speaker 2:And he was like shut the fuck up like he did not say that okay, he didn't say it like that but if I mean it was this is what he said, and then he was like bitch, we didn't rehearse together that's what he said and it was hilarious he was like bitch, we didn't rehearse together.
Speaker 1:But because I don't know, maybe it was just me because I was like he meant that he did that and I loved it. And the thing about it is is, after he said that, after he said that it's kind of like everybody got the picture, like everybody understood that, okay, he's being serious. Like do not call out to him, do not speak to him, right? No, no Cause.
Speaker 2:He said he said don't talk to me.
Speaker 1:That's look, that's it Verbal, that's what he said. He said don't talk to me.
Speaker 2:He meant like he. I understand that because you're interrupting the show.
Speaker 1:I understand that, but I'm just saying I understand that I was talking before you tried to interrupt the show.
Speaker 2:Baby, but you interrupt my week. I was talking about my week and then you just took off because I mentioned the improv. But it's cool, it's okay, it's your show. It's your show.
Speaker 1:I was just saying I wanted to get that out, but yeah, that just kind of rubbed me a little bit the wrong way. And then towards the end of the show he wanted to interact with the audience, and then nobody was like interacting with him, okay. Okay, so now you have nothing to say.
Speaker 2:I have nothing to say About, about, really.
Speaker 1:I enjoyed myself. Tell me about your experience.
Speaker 2:I enjoyed my. I enjoyed Dion Cole. No-transcript. I thought it was a great show. I thought he was hilarious. I thought the guy that came on before him was hilarious. What was his name? Oh, I forgot his name he was funny, um, but I'm gonna be going to Turkey to get my hair implants um it's remembered and, uh, I enjoyed myself. I thought, I thought everything was hilarious.
Speaker 1:Personally, I mean it was funny. I'm not saying it wasn't funny, I'm just saying that I caught that little like that little asshole moment.
Speaker 2:What we got today, babe.
Speaker 1:Nothing else happen with your week, are you sure?
Speaker 2:Nah, I'm done after that.
Speaker 1:Are you sure?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm sure.
Speaker 1:Really.
Speaker 2:I'm sure I see the energy you got tonight.
Speaker 1:What's the energy I have you?
Speaker 2:very brolic tonight.
Speaker 1:I'm very what.
Speaker 2:Brolic tonight what?
Speaker 1:does that mean?
Speaker 2:Strong-willed Brolic don't mean strong-willed Brolic, means like strong.
Speaker 1:I was like. Brolic means strong-willed, no it means strong oh. Okay, anywho. So tonight I wanted to go over.
Speaker 2:Tonight is the night.
Speaker 1:I can't with you.
Speaker 2:I was just thinking about like Tonight is the night, because I'm 7 and 11, I'm kicking ass tonight, hey.
Speaker 1:I can't Shut up so quick, I can't Wedding vows right.
Speaker 2:I do not.
Speaker 1:And I was just thinking about wedding vows and our wedding vows and the vows that we, as married people, take.
Speaker 1:For richer or richer hear many conversations about when you really have to, like, hold on to your vows, or when your vows really come into play and how that can change the relationship or the after effects of certain aspects of, like you know, your vows um, for better, for worse, richer, poor, sickness and in health? Um, till death do you part, love and cherish? You know, like all of those things, and it was it got me to thinking about some of the times during our relationship and during our marriage, of the sickness and in health portion, right, um, so you know, for context, uh, what was it last august?
Speaker 1:it was june last june oh, it was june, because my, my, my nephew's graduation last june june 10th actually um, my husband was in a motorcycle accident and it was not the major okay, you can downplay it all you want to, and the only reason why he's doing this FYI for the record is because this has been a hot topic.
Speaker 1:It has been. It has been a hot topic. It's hot to you. Like I said, it's been a hot topic in our topic of discussion, in our relationship since June, since June, um, but I like in in reference to the vowels, like in sickness and in health. That's what came up for me, right? So he had a motorcycle accident last June, june 10th, and it was like the most terrifying thing for me, like to get the phone call, got a phone call from his writing partner. Why are you smirking? Because it's not a funny matter.
Speaker 2:I'm not. I'm thinking about. The person who called you was not the right person to call you?
Speaker 1:Probably not, but that's who you were writing with and that's probably what set the president?
Speaker 2:the president set the stage for your feelings, but it's good, his riding partner called me don't say it like that.
Speaker 1:That don't sound good to me the person who he rides motorcycles with his motorcycle riding partner it was more than two of us it was a group of you, but that's the one that I know and he's the one who called me. And the first thing he says even though I told him not to call you it was a group of you. But that's the one that I know and he's the one who called me.
Speaker 2:And the first thing he said Even though I told him not to call you that I would call you.
Speaker 1:The first thing he says, I pick up the phone. I had already known something must have happened, because he has never called me directly. I converse with his wife and I converse with him when we all hang out as a couple, but he has never called my cell phone directly. So I already knew when I saw like I literally I was driving in the car with my sister and her best friend and I looked down at my phone and it said his, uh, his number, and it had his regular, like his actual full name, and immediately I was already like okay, what is what is this about? Like I was trying not to get myself hyped up and the first words out of his mouth were hey, kynesha. And I was like, hey, what's going on? And he was like Maurice, went down my heart my heart dropped, sunk.
Speaker 1:No, it didn't drop.
Speaker 2:It didn't drop, it sunk like but I talked to you on the scene. I remember that.
Speaker 1:But listen, I'm driving and also, mind you, I'm five and a half hours away from him, probably even more, because I was up north, okay, and he was in, like the san diego area, I was in fresno we were on two opposite sides of the state yeah, I was in fresno, okay, so it's not like I can even get to him right away and all I hear is.
Speaker 1:After he said Maurice went down, I immediately went into panic mode. My sister was driving. I immediately start crying. I'm yelling, her friend is in the back. She's like what's going on? And when I was like where is he, then my sister knew who I was talking about and my sister's like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So she hurries up, pulls over to the side of the road. I was asking for you and I was like where is he? Where is he? His next words were the paramedics are with him. You can't talk to him.
Speaker 2:He ruined me.
Speaker 1:Those were his next words. The next words were the paramedics are with him. You can't. He can't talk. I threw the phone, I got out the car. Wait, wait, hold on, hold on. I don't know about this you threw the phone.
Speaker 2:You threw the phone, I paid for it my sister took the phone. She was talking to him.
Speaker 1:She was talking to him. I get out the car and I ran across the the um the parking lot because we had pulled over into like a shop. Where were you going? We were going to look for something no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 2:When you started running, where were you going?
Speaker 1:I was just running away because I didn't know what was going on and, quite literally, the only thing that was racing through my mind was, like my worst fear is, is his here, like everything was my. Literally everything was going through my mind at one time and that's why I don't think you understand, like, how traumatic the situation was for me, while you try to take such a lighthearted approach to it, to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal, because it absolutely was a big deal.
Speaker 2:To you.
Speaker 1:No, it was absolutely a big deal.
Speaker 2:To you.
Speaker 1:And Maurice, it was a big deal To you. Maurice, it was a big deal. Stop it. You're only being this way because you're trying to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal, because you just want to ride again.
Speaker 1:I'm going to ride again, Okay well, whatever, but you know that it was a big deal. Anywho, it was very traumatic. I'm screaming, I'm yelling. So then I come back. My sister gives me the phone. I was able to talk to him. They were working with him. They were getting him to the hospital. He had to be airlifted to the hospital. He did three days in the hospital.
Speaker 2:Okay, hold on. When you say airlifted, you need to clarify the only reason why I was airlifted.
Speaker 1:Does it matter? Yes, it does matter. Okay, go ahead, it does matter. Okay, go ahead, it does matter. This is part of how you try to make light of the situation, so go ahead.
Speaker 2:The only reason why I was airlifted was because a motorcycle accident is considered an extreme trauma event, whether you go now or not. And I was literally in the canyons. I was in the middle of nowhere. I was 20 minutes from a small town, the canyons, like. I was in the like middle of nowhere. I was 20 minutes from a small town and I had to be airlifted to get to the closest like trauma hospital. That was the quickest way to get me there because, like the, the ride in the in the ambulance would have been like a three, four hour ride. So they had to airlift me because of where I was, not because of the injuries, it was just because of location okay.
Speaker 1:So he was airlifted to the hospital. Like I don't, I don't, I really don't understand, like it just doesn't matter. So he's airlifted to the hospital. I can't get to him. I go back to my sister's house. It's the my, my nephew's, like graduation party is what we were getting ready for. So my mom that was there, my dad was there, my sister, her friends, like everybody was there. I'm like panicked. I don't know what to do because I don't have all the details. I only have the details that they're giving me. I'm trying to grab my car keys to leave. No one's letting me leave because they're like you can't leave because you're upset, the, the whole nine, everything. So he's in the hospital for three days. He, you know his ankle Should have been two.
Speaker 1:His ankle, his legs, the side portion towards his back. Like you know, he's got a very small collapse of the lung, a very small fracture, a broken rib. You know typical things. I did not have a broken rib, it was considered a broken rib.
Speaker 2:You know typical things. I did not have a broken rib.
Speaker 1:It was considered a broken rib I had a cracked rib. It was considered a broken rib. It wasn't broken. It was cracked. Okay, broken, cracked, whatever, due to a motorcycle accident, doesn't matter. Thank God that at least he was responsible enough to wear his gear, because had he not had gear on, it would have been a lot worse.
Speaker 2:I always wear gear when I'm in the canyons.
Speaker 1:Okay, but it would have been a lot worse. Okay. And when I was in the hospital there was another patient that was there who came in from a motorcycle accident and when I tell you, it looked like somebody tied this boy to the back of a truck and just drug him five to 20 miles on the back of a truck. That's how messed up he was okay so yeah, I know you didn't see a lot. You were in your room. I saw a lot, though.
Speaker 1:Anywho, the drugs was good the reason why it made me think about it. It's because it's the the aftermath of the accident where you weren't mobile for a period of time, where you had to be on medication for a period of time.
Speaker 2:The well because I had. I had a fractured ankle so I was in. I was eventually put in the cast and I couldn't get it.
Speaker 1:I couldn't you couldn't right and you couldn't get around and you couldn't get up and you know, there was the whole time where I had to help you if you needed to go to the potty.
Speaker 2:You had to help me walk. You wasn't wiping my ass. Calm down.
Speaker 1:Not at the potty, but I had to bathe you at the hospital.
Speaker 2:That's because I was fresh, because you couldn't do it yourself? That's because you didn't want a girl to do it yourself that's because you don't want a girl to do it, because you couldn't do it yourself.
Speaker 1:Okay, I had a very attractive ovn. So the the aftermath of the aftermath of the motorcycle accident, when you have a partner who is going through something like health-wise or like a physical disability whether it be temporary, whether it be permanent there's a lot that happens with the other spouse who now plays a little bit role of, like, the caregiver, right, there's the whole mental health aspect of it for the person who is going through the hardship or the disability, and then there's the mental health of the partner who has to witness their spouse go through it, right, so you being not able to go to work, you being able not to do all the things that you wanted to do or that you were used to doing, started to take a toll on you mentally, right, because there was also, I think, what was tied to that.
Speaker 2:I was cooped in the house.
Speaker 1:You were cooped up in the house. And then there's also the financial aspect to that, right, because you know I'm a stay at home mom, you're our sole provider, so there was a lot of moving and shaking and maneuvering on your part that you had to figure out. And before we even got to the part where you got home for me, those are all the things that were like on my mind that I was thinking about, right, because I didn't know the extent of your injuries. Until I'm concerned with you and I'm concerned with, like, is my husband going to be okay? Is everything fine?
Speaker 1:But then, immediately after that, I literally start thinking about our home structure, I start thinking about our child, I start thinking about what is it that I'm going to have to tackle or take on? Or you know, like, am I going to have to get up there and, like, manage the money, manage the bills, pay this or pay that? Who do I need to call? You know, like I need to get the insurance information going out, like, cause I didn't know the extent of what was going on, right, and so for me, on my end, that was really stressful and it was also a very like eye opening awakening part on my end because, like we've had the conversation before why I told you, if anything was to happen to you, like today or right now, like where, where do I, where do I start? Like I, I don't know, like, where do I start, where do I go? Who do I talk to? Like all of those?
Speaker 2:things you call the insurances.
Speaker 1:First, all those, but all of those things go through my mind. You know what I mean. So that's really, really tough. And then when getting you home and you experiencing pretty much like a little bit of a depression, because you now have the same weight of trying to take care of the family that you had prior to your injury, but now you're stuck in bed, and then you're not only stuck in bed, you're stuck in bed and in pain and you're uncomfortable. And you know it was, it was the summertime and we had plans, there were things we needed to do for her, there were things we needed to do for the family and, like, all that got put on hold. We couldn't do any of those things because now you're down right.
Speaker 1:So not only did that take a toll on you, that took a toll on me too. And I don't think when we talk about, when you're caring for your partner, the mental health aspect, the communication, because people are frustrated, people are fearful. You know, like I was afraid, I was frustrated, you were frustrated with the whole situation, I was annoyed and frustrated. Our communication got a little dismantled at the time because their you know, energies are running high, emotions are running high, and I don't think sometimes you know there's enough conversation around how that can affect your relationship and how you kind of work through that and get through that to get to the other side of it. So like for you being the person who was injured, being the person who was temporarily disabled, how was that experience for you?
Speaker 2:What aspect of it.
Speaker 1:The whole. Thing.
Speaker 2:The only aspect of the whole situation that bothered me was two things. One was the financial drawbacks, and two was the fact that I lost my bike. The injuries didn't bother me. I've been hurt before.
Speaker 1:But you've never been hurt like that before.
Speaker 2:I've never had to be in a cast, but I've or bedridden. I've been bedridden to Berlin when I was a kid. You don't understand. I did some dangerous stuff as a teenager. I'm used to things like that. The injury did not bother me. The crash did not bother me. I can't remember. I remember the crash. I remember when I accepted the fact that I was about the crash and I remember watching it. I remember watching myself crash. I remember watching the whole ordeal. Like that's not traumatic to me. To me that's just an.
Speaker 2:I don't want to say part of being a boy, but it's essentially just. It's kind of like part of being the boy, is it to me? To me that's just an. I don't want to say part of being a boy, but it's essentially just. It's kind of like part of being the boy, is it to me? It was no different from when I, when I used to bmx jump and I and I went over, went over the front of the handlebars. It was. It was just that. The only difference was I was on a different type of machine. Same default was still the same. The speed was maybe a little bit faster. But, like I I said when I had my accident, I think my speed at the time was only like 20, 25 miles per hour. I wasn't really going that fast when I crashed.
Speaker 2:So to me it was like, yeah, it was an unfortunate chain of events but, like I always say, from the injury side, I get it. That's a risk that I knew I was taking, that I was was willing to take because I knew that I wasn't doing anything. I wouldn't put myself in a situation where I would, like you know, fatally injure myself, you know. But at the same time the only the only thing I would only thing I thought about was, man, like I got a family to take care of. I wasn't really thinking about myself or the injuries.
Speaker 2:Like the pain, like the pain was the pain. Like you do what you learn to deal with pain like that. That part sucked because, honestly, it was maybe two weeks worth of like pain before I actually I had some some level of normalcy, but like that was fine. The only thing that bothered me was the fact that now I have to figure out I mean, you know how I'm going to make the money stretch as far as possible, because I'm not bringing in my normal money and and the fact that I lost my bike. That was what bothered me and also I'm sorry it also bothered me that you had to do so much for me. That bothered me because not only did we have our child, we had our niece at the same time too. So that was like it was. I did feel like it was a lot on you and I felt bad for you in that situation. That's why I eventually just started hobbling around here on my cast, even though I wasn't supposed to. I just didn't want to feel like I was like just useless.
Speaker 1:And that and it's oddly enough, I'm happy that you mentioned that because, like how he said, he just started trying to do things on his own when he wasn't supposed to. And then that would make me mad, that would upset me, because I know that he's not supposed to be up, I know that he's not supposed to be like pushing himself to the limit, and for me in my mind it's like okay, you're his wife, right, I can handle this, I can take care of the kids, I can take care of the house, I can take care of you. Not to say that it wasn't stressful, not to say that I wasn't like tapped out, because I absolutely was, but I was also like give me the respect of being your wife and caring for you, right?
Speaker 2:I understand that, but but from my perspective, I was like you're, you were already doing a lot. We literally had, we had, um, at the time she was only five. We had a five-year-old and a two-year-old around here, yeah, and I was like you're enough, and the two-year-old was demanding.
Speaker 1:No, sleep no breaks, just demanding.
Speaker 2:So it was like, no, I'll hobble the 12 feet to the shower and I'll shower myself. I had a waterproof cast. I said so I can bathe myself, I'll lean up against the wall and I'll bathe myself. Uh, I, I can go to the bathroom by myself. I said. Only thing I really cannot do regularly is go up and downstairs. So if I, if I grab my crutches and make my way downstairs in the morning, I'm gonna be downstairs for a while, because when I go back upstairs I have to be. I'm gonna be upstairs. Yeah, so that was the only thing I would. I used to try to come downstairs in the morning so you don't have to bring me breakfast food, and then I would just go back upstairs. And then when we um, when I got my scooter for my leg, we, we did go out a little bit more because I could just scoot around.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Um, but like my whole thing was just like okay, you're doing too much, so let me. When I say you, I'm talking about you, not me. I was like she's doing too much for me. I need to be a little more self-reliant. The better I started to feel, even even when I didn't feel the best. I just like it was part of me. I was like let me take some of this off of her.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it was, you know it's. It was really rough. I feel like that was the first time in our marriage where I mean there could have been like a chance that I would be left here without you, right? Um, there was one other time before I remember where you had to go to the hospital. I can't, I can't really remember. No, it was like you were having chest pains or something like that, and we had went to urgent care and urgent care yeah.
Speaker 1:The urgent care doctor was like um, we're gonna have to send you to the emergency room, and they had to like get him in an ambulance that's when I had the uh, I had the slight heart murmur I don't know about yeah, and they had to get him to the emergency room. Like, aside from that time, it's like those are like the two most distinctive times in my life where I was like I'll tell you what.
Speaker 2:When I, when I, uh, when, um, dirty plaque got totaled, I should have went to the hospital that night. I'm pretty sure I had a concussion. Looking back on it, I'm pretty I'm I'm pretty sure I had a concussion well, I don't know, there's not much you can do about that now and I'm, and all I did was go home that day, rest, and then went to work the next day yeah I'm pretty sure I had a concussion yeah, but you need to be more like, I mean to continue.
Speaker 1:You put yourself on the back burner obviously is not not healthy. You know what I mean? Um so, those are things you know that you could take to moving forward is what not putting myself on the back burner, trying not? To like when it comes to serious things like that not putting yourself on the back burner.
Speaker 1:It's probably not the most conducive thing yeah, I just you know but I mean, anywho, back to the topic at hand um, in sickness and in health, I don't think a lot of people ever really think that that's a part of your marriage that you would have to really experience in a significant way. Now, granted, I have heard stories and I see it daily on my newsfeed where you have um spouses who have to care for like a terminally ill spouse. Right, I can't imagine, but I just know that even with just this incident where I had to essentially be your caregiver, essentially like take care of you in that capacity because you were not at a hundred percent, you know you were, you were sick quote unquote for lack of you know better verbiage, I know that was like an eye opener for me. I was down bad. It was an eye opener for me. It was scary for me, it was what was scary, the thought of taking care of me.
Speaker 1:No, the thought that you could not be here was scary, the. The thought that you could not be here was scary, like, like I. That's why I keep when we have this discussion. That's what I try to convey to you as much as possible. And I know you know the are the. The disagreement gets heated at times, most of the times when we have to, when we talk about this, because I know that you have a desire to get back on the bike. You're going to, you want to get back on the bike, like. I understand that. But I try to convey to you as much as possible what that experience was like for me, just like how you try to convey to me your experience.
Speaker 1:When I had to be in the hospital, there was um. There was a time where I had to be admitted to the hospital for three days because I had uh, developed, um, uh, acute anemia. It was just kind of like, really just out of nowhere, um, but come to find out it was because I was making I was making drastic changes in a short period of time to my diet and it resulted in me having an episode of acute anemia which resulted to me being in the hospital for three days and, yes, that was scary for me. But like listening to you tell me about your experience being the partner on the other side of that, when you tell me how you felt like seeing me in the hospital, having to go through blood, multiple blood transfusions, you know, not being able to be there by my side every, you know, every second of every day, and going home and feeling like how could you like do life and finish life and raise her by yourself? I had the same exact feelings. You know what I mean. Like I felt the exact same way in that moment when I got the phone call that said he went down on his motorcycle or he can't talk to you because he's with the paramedics.
Speaker 1:That's exactly how I felt In that moment. I felt as though like my entire life had been inside of a salt shaker and somebody was like shaking it up For me. That's what that felt like and it was hard, it was really hard. And then to bring you home and see you laid up in the bed and see you not feeling your best, like you see how I get when you get sick, and see you not feeling your best, like you see how I get when you get sick, like when you're at home just sick like with a cold or something, I'm always on like high guard. When him or our daughter is like sick, I'm like on high guard. You know what I mean. So imagine how I felt in that moment to think that my husband's not here anymore. I can imagine that moment to think that my husband's not here anymore. I can imagine that Right. So that's why it also it upsets me when you try to downplay it so much like it wasn't.
Speaker 2:Baby, I'm not downplaying it. All I say is is that it was not as traumatic for me as it is for you. That's all I say. I don't downplay your events or your recollection or your feelings on the event. I just tell you my perspective of it as the person who actually went through the incident. It was not that bad for me, right? It was not something that happened that would be enough to hinder me from ever writing again.
Speaker 1:Or did so, you basically saying you weren't scared enough? No, is that what you basically saying? You weren't scared enough. No, is that what you're saying?
Speaker 2:I wasn't I wasn't scared.
Speaker 1:So at no point. At no point, even when you say you knew you were gonna crash I was never scared there was no, no point, and you like, oh shit I was never scared you. You were just like okay, this is what I have to do on Friday. No, that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is what I?
Speaker 2:what I'm saying is I, I, I was going, I was. I remember I was going down the road. I was kind of spaced out, not really paying too much attention. Looked up, here too much attention. Looked up, here comes a curve. Oh shit, here comes a curve. Gotta lean, go to lean. I'm not leaning hard enough, oh shit. Now I took my eyes off the road.
Speaker 2:I'm not looking where I'm supposed to look you know, anyone who rides motorcycles know when you're not looking where you're supposed to be looking, you go to where your eyes, wherever you go.
Speaker 2:Wherever your eyes are, you go so I realize, well, shit, all right, I can fix this, I can fix this. Oh no, I can't, because there's something sticking out of the mountain. Boom, flip it. And I knew it. It's like I said I, I, I, when I saw it coming, I accepted it. I said it is what it is, let's see how it goes. Let's see how it goes, that's exactly what I said.
Speaker 1:Let's see how this goes. Let's see how it goes.
Speaker 2:That's exactly what I said. Let's see how this goes. It is what it is. I said oh shit, it is what it is, because in that moment I couldn't, I could not do anything. The only thing I could do in that moment was was have the bike. I could lean the bike and I could, and that's, and that's really why I fractured my ankle, because when I lean the bike, my ankles what my leg and my ankles would call it would caught the, the boulder, and that's what pushed me back to lift me up At the speed I was going.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So I saw it happening.
Speaker 1:I mean, I can understand that because but it wasn't like I said.
Speaker 2:It wasn't enough to scare me, because that's not the first time like I've literally it wasn't even the second time I've literally you're talking to someone who used to ride on hoods while someone did donuts.
Speaker 1:You're talking to so long ago.
Speaker 2:Okay, baby, but I was a teenager. You're talking to someone I I can remember being 16, maybe not 16, 14, 14, 15 and going off of a bike jump and literally landing so hard to where I hit my chest on the handlebars and lost all the air off my body. I thought I broke like broke my collarbone as hard as I hit and it ended up hitting the ground like I've. I've crashed on two wheels so many times because I've always been on bikes. I've always done stuff on bikes that it like, it's not like it scares me. That's why and that's the difference, like I understand, I understand your concern, I understand your, your nature and your, your drive to want to protect me and you think the way to protect me is just to remove me from any situation like that. I understand that, but from my eyes it's like this is a risk I knew I could take and in my eyes it's just one thing I learned.
Speaker 2:I learned two things that day One don't ride when you don't want to ride. Two, when I do ride, I need two things that day One don't ride when you don't want to ride to when I do ride, I need to be more, more vigilant. I need not, I need to not get complacent. And the fact of the matter is is that in that moment before the crash, I got complacent because I had been driving straight for ever. I don't know if anybody ever drove to Julian through Idlewild but there is a stretch of the road where you drive straight forever. It's like a good 20, probably 20, maybe a little less miles where you're going straight, you're not turning, you're not doing nothing, you're just going straight. And I got to the point where I'm just like I'm just going straight, I'm not, and I'm just kind of here, I'm just going to listen to music, and then I see it, and by the time I see it, it's too late, but I accepted it.
Speaker 1:Well, one thing I want to say is I don't want you to think that, in my mind, the way that I'm protecting you is just to like remove you from it altogether. That's, that's. That's not. That's not where I'm coming from with it when I say I don't want you on a bike again. Where I'm coming from is and like, as you guys can see, we're still working through this life after I do this is. This is why we do this, because these are real conversations. Right, I'm coming from the place of. This is something you've always wanted to do. Right, we've talked about you having a bike for years. We talked about you getting on a bike forever for years. When the time came for you to get a bike, was I on board? Yeah, okay, I was Okay, I was on board.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean not a hundred percent.
Speaker 1:No, no, no. We're not going to. We're not going to backpedal, we're not going to give credit where credit's due, like we're not going to do that. I was on board, I compromised, I put my feelings and fears to the side because I wanted to support you in something that I knew that you were really excited about. You were, you know, you were able to get the bike that you wanted. I didn't want to be a killjoy and I said you know what? Let him do his thing right. I've always been an advocate for you doing your thing, for you, doing things that made you happy. Have I not? Have I not? Yeah, really, yeah, really. Is this what you're going to do?
Speaker 2:I see where this is going.
Speaker 1:Okay. So I did all of that. I compromised. In my eyes, I feel as though I was there, like I backed you. I supported you, I did all of the things. The incident happened right. So now we're going second round in. Now we're in a position where I'm going to express my concerns. I never expressed my concerns with you on a bike.
Speaker 1:You did no, not to the extent of the conversations that we've been having since your accident. And I didn't do that because I didn't want to put that type of unnecessary pressure on you and because I wanted this to be a enjoyable experience for you, oh man. So I did not do that.
Speaker 1:But now hold on hold on, but now that we're post-accident, now that we're on the other side of this, I'm not going to hold back. And for me, in my perspective, I feel like and as I've told you before, it's an unnecessary risk to take. That's the way I feel about it. It doesn't. I'm not trying to say that you shouldn't like being on the bike. When you first got your bike, and before you got your bike, I was trying to get into it with you, right? We went over to his friend's house. They had bikes. His wife let me use her bike. I got on her bike. I was even trying to get into riding too. I got riding boots.
Speaker 1:I thought this was going to be something that we both could do, right we still can but just like when you were just talking about how you saw that you were like that you were gonna crash before you did. I had a small incident like that when we were riding around in the neighborhood and the only thing that saved me from going over was the fact that that uh motorcycle was, um, a manual, that's that's. That's the only thing. That motorcycle was manual. That's the only thing that has saved me. So I was able to use the clutch to prevent myself from flying off of the damn motorcycle.
Speaker 1:But I say all that to say, now that we're on the other side of this, I have no choice but to express my concerns and try to convey to you how I feel as though it's an unnecessary risk to take, especially at this time in our life where we still have a young child that we're still trying to raise together, where I'm a stay-at-home parent right now, where a lot of our life and resource is dependent upon you. Like, in my opinion, I feel like it's just not a risk. That's, that's, that's necessary. But I don't want to discredit that it's a passion of yours or that it's a a really enjoyable hobby. Like I get it. I I get that, you know, but this time round. It's like I'm not just trying to remove you from it altogether, but I am going to strongly like, strongly, convey to you my feelings about it as we continue to work through it nothing nothing nothing no, because this was supposed to be about in sickness that's because it's all tied in together.
Speaker 1:This is all, it's all tied in together because of the accident, in sickness and in health, babe, like, like you know, forbid, god forbid, if you, you know, got it had gotten into an accident and your disability, your temporary disability, was worse than what it was.
Speaker 2:I don't know, what that means, but OK.
Speaker 1:Your, your injuries, I mean because you were temporarily disabled to doing 100 percent of the functions that you normally do. So God forbid if something were, you know, if they were worse, like I hear you, babe you know what I mean I hear you as you guys, as you guys, like I said, this is something we're still working through. No, we're not working through anything.
Speaker 2:yeah, this is something where you have your stance and I have mine and it, and it only ends in one person being unhappy.
Speaker 1:It only ends in what?
Speaker 2:One person being unhappy.
Speaker 1:I suppose, Real conversations, real conversations guys.
Speaker 2:No, this is real.
Speaker 1:I know that's what I'm saying. These, these are the real things. Like no sugarcoating. These are the real things and, like I always tell you, like, no sugarcoating.
Speaker 2:These are the real things and, like I always tell you, I can separate the action from the trauma.
Speaker 1:You can't you know what you might be right? You might be right, and.
Speaker 2:I don't see any risk in enjoying my life.
Speaker 1:You don't see any risk in enjoying your life.
Speaker 2:No, I do not.
Speaker 1:I can think of two major occasions where that statement is not true. Okay, I can think of two things where that statement may not be true, babe. Okay, anywho, alright, guys, let's go right on into our two cents.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, I got a dime today, you what I got a dime today you got a dime today.
Speaker 1:What does that mean?
Speaker 2:oh my god go oh my god, tell me you just said our two cents, and that's I got a dime. I swear to y'all. You just said R two cents, and that's I got a dime. I swear to y'all. My wife is smart. She has two degrees. She's very smart. She may be a little slow on picking up on.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh but she's smart. That made me dizzy. Okay, it says I need advice. My husband, slash father of my two kids, is cheating with escorts.
Speaker 2:Good for him.
Speaker 1:Really All right Husband, father of two, cheating with escorts. I went through our phone carrier log to look for a specific number, but then checked his call log history, only to find out that there were multiple calls to escorts.
Speaker 2:Hold on, here we go. This is the second week in a row, so they snooping.
Speaker 1:And erotic massage places. Recently, and even from years back, the location the calls were made matched the location of the massage places. These calls are one minute. I had even seen his Waze history. One of the addresses was the exact massage place. He once called Every little argument we used to have he would book a hotel room for a couple of days.
Speaker 1:He said it was to avoid going to his parents house and having them ask about our relationship and to avoid more drama you fell for that huh, but now that I but now I think that he did so so that he could call escorts over he told me how his brother always paid for girls to come to his house to clean, naked anyways. When I confronted him about it and told him how I felt and how he was putting my life at risk because of STDs and how creepy all of this sounds, he just denies everything and says none of it is true and a one-minute phone call doesn't mean anything. I don't know how to feel about this. Am I overthinking it or overreacting? Help, I need advice.
Speaker 2:I mean, if you ain't seen him do nothing, Carter wouldn't know why he ain't did nothing.
Speaker 1:I mean, but you ain't seen him do nothing.
Speaker 2:Carter wouldn't have bought it, he ain't did nothing I mean, but she checked the it's speculation.
Speaker 1:How is it speculation? It's on his call log.
Speaker 2:Sustain Objection, your Honor, sustain Really. It's speculation. He has a call, he's calling a massage caller.
Speaker 1:Okay, he's calling a happy ending. Caller.
Speaker 2:He could just be getting a regular massage.
Speaker 1:Don't assume the worst okay, first of all, the first thing I'm gonna say is him being upset or you guys having a disagreement and him getting a hotel room for a few days that's wild, that's. I think that's a little much. That think that's a little much. That's a little much. We're going to have to resolve it right here. Whether you go to another bedroom, you can sleep in a car.
Speaker 2:What happens sleeping on the couch?
Speaker 1:Right, that's what I'm saying. Like sleep on the couch, sleep in your car if you have to.
Speaker 2:But then again I understand that I'm not sleeping on a goddamn couch. I pay this mortgage, Except my couch is comfortable.
Speaker 1:The point being is that we're going to be in this house and maybe I have to leave during the day and like be at the library or Barnes and Noble or Target or walk around for a few hours, it don't matter, but come night time, we're going to be in this house together. We're going to be in this house, whether we're getting along or not. We're going to be in this house together. You will sleep here.
Speaker 2:Sure, you're right you will sleep here.
Speaker 1:There is no getting no hotel rooms.
Speaker 2:Sure, you're right.
Speaker 1:There's no getting no hotel rooms or you're going to have to bite the bullet and go to your parents' house, I guess.
Speaker 2:Go to your mammy's.
Speaker 1:But hotels, hotels. Do you agree with getting a hotel when we're having a disagreement?
Speaker 2:I mean, some people are cool with that.
Speaker 1:Okay, but I'm asking you Personally, personally, like if I went and got a hotel room for myself for three days.
Speaker 2:Don't come back. I hope he's worth it.
Speaker 1:That's the first thing, and even if nothing is.
Speaker 2:First of all, I'm canceling all my cards, so you can't use them.
Speaker 1:Well, I have cards that you're not on.
Speaker 2:That's fine, but it won't be on my card.
Speaker 1:It won't be on a card that you share with me. No.
Speaker 2:It will not.
Speaker 1:So we can't pay for my hotel stay.
Speaker 2:We cannot If we ain't in there. We ain't paying.
Speaker 1:If we're not in that bed together, in that hotel room together, we are not paying for it. But yeah, so for me the first things.
Speaker 2:first is it's an ick thing, he clearly put a young lady through college and you're up here. I just caught on to what you said and you're up here trying to make him out to be a bad guy when he's giving back to the community.
Speaker 2:Maurice and putting her life at risk in the meantime she's a professional, she gets tested we don't know that he might be dealing with lot lizards you just I shouldn't have taught you what that meant, because that don't even apply lizards. I shouldn't have taught you what that meant Because that don't even apply.
Speaker 1:He could probably just be swinging by and picking one up. No, she said escort, so no, he dealing with a little bit more, one with a little bit more standard, I guess. Anywho, first things first no hotel room. Second thing um, I would need a better explanation for the phone calls to the massage parlors man, if you guys see inside my head, my head is crazy I would need a better explanation.
Speaker 2:I'm not explaining nothing. What are you snooping for?
Speaker 1:What's she snooping for? Yeah, obviously she.
Speaker 2:See, this is fishy. It's just you know what? What's fishy Tell? Me about it Like the last time she just so happened to be looking for pictures.
Speaker 1:She was looking for a recipe.
Speaker 2:And now this time, she just happened to be looking through the phone logs.
Speaker 1:She was going to be looking for the carrier, but then decided to go through the phone logs In any case you shouldn't be doing things that you're not supposed to be doing as a married person.
Speaker 2:Married women don't pay bills what?
Speaker 1:They don't even know what bills look like Wait a minute, wait a minute, back up, back up. You just opened a whole another. What do you mean? Married women don't pay bills. You pay bills, not right now. I've paid bills before, okay, did you. I've paid many bills before. What are you talking?
Speaker 2:about uh post-marriage or pre-marriage both what bill have you paid post-marriage?
Speaker 1:are you Hold on when you're talking about pay bills? Are you talking about, like me sitting down clicking pay, or are you talking about, like financially contributing to the bill?
Speaker 2:I'm talking about you sitting down clicking pay.
Speaker 1:Oh, clicking, pay no. So, like I said, no but yes, I have, I have like in in a whole, like financially contributed to paying the bills they know that once upon a time you had a job okay, but I thought that's what I was trying to. That's why I'm like I need to distinguish, because there are plenty I'm pretty sure there are plenty of married women who pay bills.
Speaker 2:That was dumb to say all I'm gonna say ma'am is when you go looking for poop, you gonna find it what. Where's the poop Robin? Very dumb to say. All I'm going to say ma'am is when you go looking for poop, you're going to find it what.
Speaker 1:Where's the poop Robin? This has been another episode of Life After I Do, If you're not doing so already you can follow us on our social media accounts on TikTok, Facebook, Instagram.
Speaker 2:You only got two more months to follow us on TikTok.
Speaker 1:YouTube at Life After I Do Podcast. You can write into the podcast at lifeafteridopodcast at gmailcom if you have any questions or if you need any advice on anything. You get a new episode every Wednesday and until then, peace day. And until then, peace, peace, peace.