This episode is ripe with raw emotion and sprinkled with humor, as we dig deep into those moments when parenting pushes us to the brink and the importance of standing united in the face of our children's challenges. Join us as we share the strategies for maintaining balance in our marriage and the honest truths hidden behind our tired smiles. No guests, no filters, just us in our most vulnerable and authentic selves, inviting you into our world.
This episode is ripe with raw emotion and sprinkled with humor, as we dig deep into those moments when parenting pushes us to the brink and the importance of standing united in the face of our children's challenges. Join us as we share the strategies for maintaining balance in our marriage and the honest truths hidden behind our tired smiles. No guests, no filters, just us in our most vulnerable and authentic selves, inviting you into our world.
So, anyway, I had to remove myself, I left, and then I had to leave the house because I didn't. Right, I forgot about that. You left the house, I had to leave the house. You were so mad you left the house. I had to leave the house because, then, because, then. This is where this parenting thing gets real tricky. When you stepped in, Let your dad, do my parenting Let your man and me. Now I'm stuck between being upset with her but then also protecting her from your wrath Right.
Speaker 2:so let me speak my truth.
Speaker 1:Hey everybody and welcome back to another episode of Life After I Do. I am your host, kainisha or Anisha G, and I'm here with my husband.
Speaker 2:Your husband, my husband.
Speaker 1:I feel like there should have been like an applause or something. Why.
Speaker 2:You always say that I can't reach the button from here.
Speaker 1:It's fine.
Speaker 2:I mean, you can always clap for me. Wow, that's weak. That's weak.
Speaker 1:I don't know what you want me to do.
Speaker 2:Why does weak as your curls at the gym this morning?
Speaker 1:My curls were not weak. Yeah, they were weak, but whatever. Anyway, how's your week been?
Speaker 2:Um, I'm a bit full. Nothing you know, it's just. You know the best. I went to chiropractor yesterday and got corrected and that.
Speaker 1:We had a family chiropractic day yesterday. The little even got a little minor adjustment because she wanted to be like me and him.
Speaker 2:She's like I want one too. And he cracked my spine and all that pressure release. I said this is what I've been waiting for.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't say it was that great, it was good for me.
Speaker 2:It was good for him, especially when I got my neck cracked.
Speaker 1:I got cracked. I got cracked just from stretching, because that's just how tight I was.
Speaker 2:But like he, was just when he was talking about like my shoulder blades.
Speaker 1:He was like, oh, you're really tight like in here. And I was like I'm always tight in there because that's where I hold my stress.
Speaker 2:In your shoulder blades.
Speaker 1:In between, okay, in between my shoulder blades, like at the back of my neck. That's where I usually hold up my stress. Okay, but yeah, that was fun. It was fun just to like be as a family. Yeah, what else.
Speaker 2:What else About my week? Yeah, you know not much happened this week. Really, I just worked a couple of days. The couple of days are off. Nothing really comes to mind.
Speaker 1:No, so really just an uneventful week. I mean well, I, on the other hand.
Speaker 2:Oh Lord, just getting to it, I see it, I see it's going to get real.
Speaker 1:First of all, I'm so tired.
Speaker 3:Let's just start.
Speaker 2:Why are you tired, babe?
Speaker 1:Like I know I can probably I hear it in my own voice because I could really just like.
Speaker 2:Why are you tired, babe? I'm not really one tired.
Speaker 1:I could just like take a nap, like right now.
Speaker 2:I'm down for that too.
Speaker 1:Just take a nap. I'm just really taking everything in me right now.
Speaker 2:If we do a whole pot of what is it? Am, am, amr.
Speaker 1:ASMR, goodbye.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Lee. No, but it is. It's taking like all of my energy right now to Stick it out.
Speaker 2:Stick it out, like I said, your energy's been off for the last three days. It ain't just today. You wouldn't be in yourself.
Speaker 1:Well, but last night was. I mean we'll get into it, but.
Speaker 2:I think it Last night was a lot. Last night was a lot. That's why I was like let me take over. I can hear it in your voice.
Speaker 1:Last night was a lot and that's why I want to get into like or just have the conversation with you today. Like I was just like when I was thinking about what I wanted to talk about. I was like, you know, the whole point of the pod is really just to.
Speaker 2:To get it out.
Speaker 1:To get it out and talk about the day to day things that we deal with in, like marriage and parenting, as a part of that partnership relationship. You know what I mean and I feel like last night was one of those moments where it was just a prime example of you know real life things.
Speaker 2:You wanted to him her ass up. Keep it 100. You wanted to. You wanted to him her up. She was on your nerves last night.
Speaker 1:Nerves. She wasn't even on my nerves, she was on, like she was on the particles of my skin.
Speaker 2:She was jumping up and down your sciatic last night. Boy, after let me get up. I was even sure about what was going on. I just heard, I said every time I, every time I said oh, her tone is changing, oh, it doesn't change. Again I said let me get up, Cause somebody's finna get.
Speaker 1:Well, because I, you know, I, you know me, like I, I don't like to, I don't want to, like, blow up at her and I don't want to, you know, deflect the way I'm feeling onto her and so on and so forth, and anyway we'll get into that, but just really the whole week, you know, I've also been trying to give her a lot of grace too, because she is getting back into her routine.
Speaker 2:She had a three week break and going into a three week and three day week.
Speaker 1:Right, right. So she had, she had a pretty good break, but during the break I was still conscious to make sure that we did certain things. Like she still read, she still did some writing, like things like that. You know what I mean. Like I didn't want her to just like completely take a break off, and she did have a little bit more screen time than she normally does, and so, like all this week she hasn't had any like any screen time because, like, of course, we're getting back into the routine of things and she normally is allowed to get her iPad on Fridays, like you know so.
Speaker 1:But she has been kind of pushing it, like even when we went to dance and we got to dance early and she was like, oh, mom, can I have your phone? And I was like, no, you cannot. And she brought her book with her and I was like you have your book, that's what you brought your book for. Like in case you got bored, you can sit there and read your book. You know, you got a new book, you got new books for Christmas and all this and stuff.
Speaker 2:That means, she played me yesterday.
Speaker 1:You let her have your phone.
Speaker 2:She had your phone.
Speaker 1:How.
Speaker 2:At the chiropractor. When you went to the restroom, I didn't know.
Speaker 1:Oh, you mean when she picked it up.
Speaker 2:No, she picked up on lock, yeah, so when I had walked into the room.
Speaker 1:I don't know if you noticed. I now remember because I told her she owed me five minutes in the corner, because when I came in the room she had my phone in her hand and I was like, were you looking at my phone? And she was like, oh, I just opened your pictures, like that, and I said, okay, well, when we get home you owe me five minutes in the corner. I watched you five minutes because she's not supposed to have my phone at all.
Speaker 2:Oh, I didn't know that. So she played me because she was like that. I made her phone and I was like no, get your mama phone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she wasn't supposed to have her phone and have the phone at all. Like I don't understand, if she wasn't allowed to have her iPad, why would you think she could have the?
Speaker 2:phone. But that's a thing I didn't know, and you know that. No, I didn't know she wouldn't allow to have her iPad till last night, when everything happened last night and I was laying the law down.
Speaker 1:Babe, she doesn't get her iPad during the week. Babe, I don't know what's going on in this house, I just work.
Speaker 2:This is your house. I just pay the bills.
Speaker 1:And that just reminded me of what she said that time, when she was trying to tell you, when she was upset with me and she had called you, remember, and she was like she just wants to. When she says she just wants to run everything, Do you remember that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, she wasn't wrong though.
Speaker 1:She was like she just wants to run everything. She wasn't right and you were like, and you were like it's her house, phoenix, and she goes, it's my house.
Speaker 2:No, that's your mama's house.
Speaker 1:So, anyway, that's a whole another thing to get into, yeah, so, yeah. So, like the week has just been like trying to get back into the routine of things and you know, just life kind of getting to me a little bit and me trying to oh, thank you. And me, just trying to stay above water and not feed into the emotions that are there and me not feed into, like just crawling into a hole and saying deuces to you and her and just like what I do just crawling into the hole.
Speaker 2:What did I do?
Speaker 1:It's, it's. It's all of you. It's only two of us. Okay, All two of you. All two of you. I didn't get you a hard time this week. It's all two of you.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to see if this lipstick you got on those waterproof.
Speaker 1:Exactly Like I said. All two of you. So you're literally not like.
Speaker 2:you're just proving my point, just proving my point, did I want to touch it?
Speaker 1:So yeah, but other than that, the week was again uninvited. Just trying to get back into the routine of things, trying to get back on track with stuff, trying to get her ready for all that she has coming up.
Speaker 2:Load her schedule. Yeah, and the week is ridiculous and the next week or two. So if anybody wants a child, we got one you can have. Her schedule is she's booked? She's fully booked. I mean Monday through Saturday, the only day she get off. She's off on Thursdays and Sundays.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so yeah, but let's go ahead and get into it.
Speaker 2:I will say this real quick I did enjoy us working out together the last couple of days.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I always, I always love.
Speaker 2:I know it was short lived, because it won't happen again.
Speaker 1:Like whenever we get time to work out together. I always like this.
Speaker 2:It only happened because I wasn't working, so it won't happen anytime soon again.
Speaker 1:I mean we can FaceTime.
Speaker 2:No, we're not going to be that couple.
Speaker 1:Well, we don't go to the gym at the same time as anyway. We're not going to be that couple, but I'm just saying like well, no, because I don't want to FaceTime with you at 4 am. Right, I mean I'll be up, because it's not like I get sleep around here, so at 4 am.
Speaker 2:It's actually you might like it, because it's a bunch of buff dudes in there.
Speaker 1:It's not like I get any rest around this camp.
Speaker 2:You might turn the camera that way so I can see you.
Speaker 1:I feel like I'm just bitterly talking.
Speaker 2:You are, but you've been mad. You've been mad since yesterday. I was just really, you were irritated at dinner. It happened. It started sometime before.
Speaker 1:I wasn't irritated at dinner.
Speaker 2:It started sometime before dinner yesterday and then it's just like and then homework last night made it was a typical high bird and you've been in your mood ever since, but your energy been off since Wednesday, so I don't know what's going on.
Speaker 1:It's life.
Speaker 2:Alright, let's get into it.
Speaker 1:Let's get into it Anywho. So with the week that I had, you know, I was on social media and I was scrolling, of course, and that's your problem, goodbye and I came across this little clip and I'm gonna have you play the clip Right now. Yeah, go ahead and play the clip. Okay, baby, and I'm gonna get off your bed and continue to side, alright okay, trying to get to school tomorrow.
Speaker 2:Thanks, we're going to get in.
Speaker 1:But later, that's it.
Speaker 3:We were talking about parenting and how parenting is hard and I said it just kind of like clicked in my mind. I said parenting is only hard for good parents. Like that was a crazy moment, a realization, where it's like if you're not tired, then what the hell are you doing? If parenting is not hard, what are you doing? So many people out there that have it really hard and they're struggling and I know they want the best for their children, they're doing everything they can and I just want that to be a reminder to all those people that it's because you're a good parent. We were talking about parenting.
Speaker 1:So I came across that clip and it was kind of like in the midst of me having what I call like my own little, not necessarily pity party. But for lack of better vergeage, my own little pity party, my own little breakdown or whatever. So back a little backstory.
Speaker 2:Last night, I don't know, no, no, no, it started Thursday night.
Speaker 1:Yeah, kind of Thursday night.
Speaker 2:It was a continuation of Thursday night. Go back to the beginning.
Speaker 1:Okay, so Thursday night, well, okay. So for Phoenix's homework she gets homework, like her homework for the week, right, and because she's so busy during the week, we break up her homework, which is also how her homework is given to us. So, like you know, monday she has her assignment for Monday, she has her assignment for Tuesday, she has her assignment for Wednesday, blah, blah, blah, go on, so on and so forth, and so I split up her work for her according to, like, her schedule or like depending on what type of work she has, and I know what she can get done or you know. So I try to gear it toward her schedule and she's the one who she on Thursday, she is getting more and more into writing assignments, okay, so when we did our parent-teacher conference, she, her teacher, was letting us know that as far as ranking, like within the class for test scores and everything like that, phoenix is like she's the number two student in the class and one of her areas of opportunity that her teacher said would make her like Sounds just like a manager.
Speaker 1:One of her areas of opportunity that could get her up that next level is her writing right.
Speaker 2:I don't believe that I don't agree.
Speaker 1:And so hold on listen. So her teacher was saying she's number one when it comes to reading In the class, she's the top reader, and that that, to me and to us, made it made sense, because we do a lot of reading in the house and we read every single night. She read. I mean, reading is a thing in our home.
Speaker 2:Okay, you can't. You can't write notes around Phoenix because you don't know exactly what it is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right, that's, yes, and we've come to the point where she can read our text messages and everything, because reading is a thing in our house, okay, so she. The teacher had told us like, okay, she's, she's like the top reader in our class, but when it comes to writing for her to read as well as she reads, the teacher was like I expect that she should be able to write as well as she reads, right, and so she's like I don't think it's a matter of her not knowing how to, you know, put her words on paper or communicate. She was like I think it's more of a, like a motivation thing. You know, she, basically she was trying to say she, she's lazy about it, right, which she is, which she, she, it's not her favorite thing to do. She gets it from her father, she's, it's not and she has. She has said it to me, phoenix has said it to me. She told me writing is boring. Those were her exact words and I agree Writing is boring.
Speaker 1:I had the same mentality all through school. So like, even so, on Thursday, you know, like her homework now is getting geared more and more toward the, the comprehension, like reading, right, so now we have to make sure that, yes, you know how to read, but are you able to understand what you're reading and are you able to answer in complete sentences what you have read, right? So she had a writing assignment. And I mean, when I tell you we we was struggling with that writing assignment because she could find the answer.
Speaker 1:It took her a little while to catch onto what it needed her to do about, like how to find the answer as she's reading in the book. So it gave you like a. It was a scenario where it was like, long ago households did this and now households did this, and you know how you got to fill in the blank. So it gave you the answer what they did long ago, and then you have to answer what they do now. Right, but you could only do that through reading the book. So why do you look like you're falling asleep? I'm not.
Speaker 3:Okay, Well that's rude.
Speaker 1:That just pissed me off. Your eyes were closed and that just really irritated the crap out of me.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:This, this is. This is life after I do that. That see, like that. That just irritated me. I was listening to you, okay, but don't listen to me with your eyes closed, okay, if you're watching this on YouTube? If you're watching this on YouTube, then you can see how wife's eyes are open. Now I was telling you my mama's mental state these past few days. It's like my patients is very thin, like my patients is very thin right now Okay, no, no, no, it's not just your patients.
Speaker 1:So just keep your eyes open when I'm speaking, please.
Speaker 2:Can I blink?
Speaker 1:You can blink, but make it minimal. Thank you, just enough to wet your eyeballs.
Speaker 2:Go back into your story, okay. So anyway you don't really damn, I didn't.
Speaker 1:I wanted to just close my eyes and kind of like no, no, don't close your eyes.
Speaker 2:I was like going through something visually over here. I was trying to fix it, but okay, it's cool.
Speaker 1:Okay, so I just I was like I'm just going to do a quick look at my face.
Speaker 1:She is like she's telling me the answer, Like she's verbally telling me the answer, and I said, yes, that's correct, Now write it onto the paper. And she's like, oh, oh, mom, but I don't have enough space. And I said, okay, so you have like 10,000 notebooks. I said let's get a notebook Writing on the paper. And she is like I can see that she's intentionally like writing somewhere. It's bigger than others. Like when she put her period at the end of the sentence, she drew a whole another O and then circled it in. It's not funny. It isn't funny. It's funny because let me tell you why it's funny.
Speaker 1:Why is it funny? Because that's my child, okay.
Speaker 2:Because that's me.
Speaker 1:Okay, but it's not funny. It's not funny.
Speaker 2:I was trying to explain to her. She essentially let you know, without telling you, that she was not happy about the situation.
Speaker 1:So I explained to her. I said, phoenix, like I always do, I always tell her the way you do anything is the way you do everything. Right, so we're not going to get discouraged, we're not going to get lazy about doing our writing. I said we're going to erase that because I feel like you can do better. Right, like I try to be encouraging, you know, because I know that the more that I come, like if I come at her and come at her like do this, do that and do it right, she's going to give me more pushback and I'm not going to get the result that I need from her for her to do her work. Right, so I was just like you know, I know you can do better than that. Right, I was like show me your best, like your best hand writing.
Speaker 1:So we erased it and this went on forever and, mind you, it was only like three. We had to write all together for complete sentences, that's it. It was just for complete sentences. It was a struggle and that took us two days. Two days. She don't like writing and so it was a combination of. You know, she was like it's so boring.
Speaker 2:And then it was. I got to go to the bathroom.
Speaker 1:And then I got to go to the bathroom. I'm hungry, I'm hungry, you know she's. She's a kid, she's six, so she's trying to like pull out all the stops, right, and then it gets me to the point where it's always like this dance in my mind, because I'm stuck between wanting to be the authoritarian which you need to sit down and get your work done, right.
Speaker 2:Sometimes you just gotta be mean daily.
Speaker 1:Okay, but I've been stern with her. Like I can be stern with her, I was stern with her, but I'm not gonna downright just like-.
Speaker 2:You're lovingly stern, okay, you may stern with her Okay. I gotta drop the foot.
Speaker 1:But you know, she was able to muster out. She was able to muster out those two sentences, but it was like no, the two for Thursday, but it was like pulling tooth and nail. So here comes our firm yeah, it started within what's that Wednesday then? Because today's Friday, so, yeah, thursday, yesterday. So then we came to yesterday. Now, yesterday we had to finish the remainder of what we had to get done and on top of this, she still has a spelling test to study for. Okay, that she's been familiar with her words all week, but you know it's the night before and we always have a little routine of going through our spelling words and doing the pre-test and all this other stuff. So I'm trying to explain to her that you need to get this done in a timely manner, because we have to study for your spelling test so that you can get a great spelling test. Phoenix brings home an A spelling test every week.
Speaker 2:I'm not confident in this week.
Speaker 1:Every week. Like we don't even like, expect it not to have a star on it. We don't expect for it not to have a sticker on it. Like she all her bonus words, her sentences, she brings that spelling test home and we're like, of course, like, of course it's an A. I didn't expect anything different this week. I don't know what we're gonna get. I don't know what we're gonna get because she sent us through the ringer last night so she was going through it. I started going through it. We're having a meltdown and she's crying and she's throwing a fit and she's talking about how we don't love her and she's talking about this is torture and she like, and then she's picking up. I know that the older that she's getting and the more around like awareness that she's having around her surroundings, especially when it comes to her peers and other kids at school, because I'm starting to see the difference in the language that she uses. Right, and I know that only comes from other kids.
Speaker 2:It's only because of being around other kids.
Speaker 1:Yes, and it's like. It's like that's not even a part of your verbiage, so where did you even get that from? And then she'll say something like oh well, mom, guess what Mila taught me? Or I'll be like we don't do that here, like we don't.
Speaker 2:I will say shout outs to whoever called her, whoever told her Pikachu because I like Pikachu Goodbye.
Speaker 1:So anyway, I was getting to the point last night. I was getting to the point last night where I was, yeah, I was starting to feed into the annoyance and anger that it was causing me, right, and I didn't want to feed into it to a point where, like I just downright was like yelling and screaming at her. So I was just like you know what Phoenix Like when she gets to a certain part like that, that's when we need to take a break, right, because if I keep badgering her about it it doesn't make the situation better. But when I start to like shut down a little bit, she also recognizes and feels that and then I think part of that is her feeling like yes, exactly that's what she says, like I don't want to break your heart, you know what I mean. So I had told her. I said you know what Phoenix? I said I'm just mommy's gonna walk away right now.
Speaker 3:I was like I just have to walk away. Right now, get your daughter.
Speaker 1:And that's yes. That's when she starts to I just want to be a good daughter, I don't want to be a bad daughter, and we're just going back and forth, and so then she's like sitting at the table and then you can hear her like talking and she's like my parents are so upset with me, and I wasn't even aware of the situation at the time. I don't know how I was upset. I was so upset with me.
Speaker 2:but before that I'm always in the crosshairs when I'm involved.
Speaker 1:When I had walked away. I mean, she had a whole melt down. I'm talking on the ground, on her knees on her back, kick, scream, pulling her hair, screaming at the top of her lungs, like the whole shebang. That's what made me get up.
Speaker 2:I'm like what is going on?
Speaker 1:here Because and the thing is is, I think what really kind of caught me off guard is, even as a toddler she never threw fits like that, Like these terrible sixes huh.
Speaker 1:Never threw fits like that. So then in my mind I'm like, okay, she's feeling a lot of emotion, right, because she's like literally sitting here on her knees, pulling on her hair and screaming and I'm just like what in the world is happening? We do the same thing every week, like her schedule is down like clockwork. Never do I have really any issues with her, especially when it comes to doing her homework or keeping her schedule or whatever. But this week the only thing I can think of and chuck it up to is just trying to get back on track, because she had such a long break and before and before, even when she had the break, like in kindergarten, it was kindergarten.
Speaker 1:So I mean her work wasn't, like I guess you could say, as rigorous as it's becoming. You know what I mean. And so I'm just like you've done the same thing every week. So, anyway, I had to remove myself, I left, and then I had to leave the house because Right, I forgot about that you left the house, I had to leave the house. You were so mad. You left the house, I had to leave the house because. Then, because, then this is where this parenting thing gets real tricky when you stepped in, Now you're dead to my parenting.
Speaker 2:Now you're mad at me. Now I'm stuck with Swede being upset with her but then also protecting her from your rap Right so let me speak my truth, since you know you don't talk your part. So, as my wife just detailed, very detailed, I get up and I say what the heck is going on?
Speaker 3:out here.
Speaker 2:So I get up and I'm a price to the situation, and so I was like you know what? I got it. I got it from here. I said don't worry about it. I said because I'm looking at my wife and I can tell she's spent.
Speaker 1:And then wait just really quick. On top of that, I had meant to say I was also trying to clean the house, do laundry, put stuff away, Right, I was also trying to do other things.
Speaker 2:While I play Call of Duty.
Speaker 1:I had to say that you probably should, though I had, you probably shouldn't have, but okay.
Speaker 2:I had did my chores for the day Anyway.
Speaker 1:Shouldn't have said that either.
Speaker 2:So I stepped out and I'm like, okay, let me take over. And I'm like I'm talking to her, I get her to calm down a little bit, to where we can actually talk. So she fired right back up, and then we're talking. And then she fired right back up and I was like, all right, go to the corner. And then she stumps to the corner and I say, look here.
Speaker 1:No, she almost put a hole through the second story of her house.
Speaker 2:I said, look here I done told you before about something in my house. I said you will lose your feet, Something in my house.
Speaker 1:And then here I am on the side in the room like trying to whisper to him because I don't want to try to correct him in front of her. So then I'm like you can't correct me anyway. Yeah Well, listen. So I was just like. I was like don't talk to her like that.
Speaker 2:You can't talk to her like that. So she's sitting in the corner and I then explained to her, like I always explained to her- Aggressively.
Speaker 2:Okay, Cause at this point she needs aggression. Yeah, Because she needs to understand the hierarchy. So at this point I'm explaining to her Phoenix school comes first, as we have told you many times. And since you are not able, or you do not want to it's not that you're not able, Since you do not want to do your homework you just won't be able to do things you want to do to me.
Speaker 1:Because another sorry, another component to this is because she wanted to go downstairs and practice gymnastics. So she legit has like a whole little gym downstairs cause we're we've added, you know, multiple pieces to her, her little gymnasium, and so she's always really excited to go to her gym and she had asked if she could have 20 minutes to practice. And I told her you could have 20 minutes to practice after you finish your schoolwork.
Speaker 2:So anyway, you know, eventually we got to the point to where she did actually end up finishing and studying a little bit, and then she finished up studying this morning. You know, she actually spelled most of the words correctly. We don't know if it's gonna stick with her. Oh, she spelled most of the words correctly, but it was just. It was a thing where it was one of those things where she's upset to the point to where she's not comprehending what we're saying.
Speaker 2:Yes, she can't hear you anymore, because she gets in this mode to where all she cares about is what she wants. She doesn't, she's not going to comprehend what she has to do to get what she wants. She just knows that she wants to do something and that there's something blocking her from doing what she wants to do. And it just got to a point where she had expended so much of my wife's energy, to the point to where I was like okay, I like, because I know like this doesn't happen often. This is not like an often thing. This is not.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's why it kind of threw me if through me for a loop.
Speaker 2:That's why, like it's saying I was saying I was like so. So when I walked out I was like I don't understand what's going on. But to turn it back to the clip, like what he said is true, because like, if we didn't care, we could have like, all right, fine, just go practice whatever you just won't, you'll turn it in complete work, right. So it is a little harder on us, I believe, because you know, I wouldn't say that we're gentle parenting, but we're doing like a hybrid. Hybrid because sometimes we do lay down the law, but we try to, we try to be cognitive of her feelings in her, of her emotions, and not be so harsh with her.
Speaker 2:But there are times where it gets to the point to work. Okay, talking to you is not working. I'm going to have to show you something like it. You know, and I will say, that our daughter can be, not always, but can be very, very sensitive about, about things. So you have to be, sometimes you really have to be careful how you say things to her and what you say, because she'll take things and she takes it to the heart, lord, and it's like you dagger her.
Speaker 1:But I will say, like, okay, with the gentle parenting I know, for for us or for me, it's not. Gentle parenting is not the like holding of the hands of children, right. It's not like just talking to them softly or anything like that. It's about making sure they're aware of certain boundaries and making sure you can implement and enforce them, but in a way that they can understand it and in a way that they also have a space to voice their opinion and voice their emotions, right? It's not just about you just do what I say and you shut up about it and then, as you get older, then I'll allow you to have a voice, because that's a skill that I want her to be able to exercise.
Speaker 1:I want it to be normal for her to express how she feels verbally, right, and I want her to know that. You know like even when I told her last night, when I was trying to calm her down for bed, that just because you get disciplined and just because you don't get your way, it doesn't mean that you are loved any less. If anything, it's because I love you more, because this is something that you may not understand now, but you're going to understand it later. Do you know what I mean. But I think what really got to me last night was it's the, it's the mental that I get kind of tossed up about, because I was stressed, but I was also.
Speaker 1:I internalized, parental, parental guilt. And now they say there's mom guilt, dad guilt, it's a parental guilt because when I look at her, and I look at her that frustrated in my mind, I'm thinking one, I'm so, I'm like, I'm really upset, like if I really just did not care, I would grab you by your shirt and let you have it. That's, that's one, that's one, right. Then, on the other hand, it's like what is it about my communication to you that is giving me this reaction? Okay, then from that, it's how?
Speaker 1:How, like me, as as your mom, am I doing that of a shitty job that I'm getting this type of response from my child? Do you know what I mean? And then it's I don't want to say things like you're disappointing me or this is you know you're acting bad or you know I'm a whoop, your ass and all this other stuff, because then it's for me in my mind. I'm making my emotions her responsibility and the way I feel is not her responsibility. That's not her responsibility.
Speaker 1:Okay, so there's the aside from her just throwing the fit. All of this is going on in my mind and then I start to internalize it about my parenting. Then I internalize it about me as a person and me as a mom, and am I doing a good job and what have I done wrong up until this point and how could I have been better? Have I overdone it here? Have I not overdone it here? Have I? Have I shifted her focus so far that you know what I mean? Like all of these, all of these things come up and I don't know if that happens for you, but that happens for me. So, like when you saw me last night and you're like you know, you came in and you took over because you can see that I'm stressed you probably think I'm just stressed because of the actions that are happening now.
Speaker 2:I don't like to internalize it, but it's all of the.
Speaker 1:It's all of the my own self, my own trauma, my own childhood trauma, my own interactions with my own parents all of that stuff comes up and I think it's not talked about enough. Or maybe it is about the. You know, parenting can be very reflective. Parenting can be a mirror, just like marriage is a mirror. Parenting can be a mirror because when you think about your parenting, the first thing you think about is your own upbringing, Right.
Speaker 1:You think about the interactions you had with your mother and with your father and you think about the things that you probably didn't do, you probably didn't get emotionally from your parents or physically from your parents, and so therefore, naturally for you, you want to try to overcompensate in that area, right?
Speaker 1:So, like for me, when I say, like my feelings are not her responsibility, I don't want to make her feel guilty or make her feel some type of way because I feel bad, and I feel bad because of her lack of action. Do you know what I mean? Because, yes, I want to, you know. I want her to know that I am proud of her and everything like that, but I also don't want her to think that the only time I'm going to interact with her or give her love or show her love of how she perceives it is, if she's like doing all the things that I want her to do. You know what I mean. Like I'm only going to get love if I do really good in school. I'm only going to get love if I perform really well. Like I don't want.
Speaker 2:I mean, you get extra love.
Speaker 1:I can't stand you, but I don't want.
Speaker 2:You always only get the baseline.
Speaker 1:I don't want, I don't want to put that type of pressure on her. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, I don't want that to be the basis of what she perceives her mother's love to be. Her mother's love is non-transactional, because I'm gonna love her regardless. Her from us love as well.
Speaker 2:Okay, but what I'm saying is Let me discount you over here I'm not discounting you.
Speaker 1:I'm speaking of my experience.
Speaker 2:Can I say something?
Speaker 1:What.
Speaker 2:I was a little irritated with you last night.
Speaker 1:Why? Because I left.
Speaker 2:Not because you left, oh, because you let it get to that point.
Speaker 1:I let it get to that point.
Speaker 2:Yes, because I mean you allowed yourself to get to that level of frustration. I felt like you knew-. I didn't allow myself to You've done it before and what I expect for you is because before she gets all who-rolly, you normally kind of like and you tap me in hey, I need you to do this. You didn't do that last night. You let her get to you last night.
Speaker 1:No, you let the situation get to you. No, it's not that I let it get to me. Before I got to a point where I would feel worse, I had to step back.
Speaker 3:I'm not gonna-. What I'm saying is-.
Speaker 1:Because I'm not gonna sit there and scream and yell at my child like that.
Speaker 2:I know you're not, I'm not gonna say that, but what I'm saying is I'm gonna step away before I get to that point. Well, what I'm saying is is that you normally tap me in before that if I'm around.
Speaker 1:And I didn't have to because you heard in the background. I heard, yeah, Okay. So then you came in and you took over the second half of the game.
Speaker 2:And she knows that when I show up it's a different energy because I tell her all the time what you're not gonna do is disrespect my wife. She may be your mother, but that's my wife and that's where it is. I love you but I love my wife. So and it gets-. I understand the guilt and all that because I, you know, like I said before, I have dad go all the time because she thinks that all dad does is work and go to the gym. So you know, I don't get credit for anything else because that's how she identifies, you know, my life. Dad just pays for stuff. You know, dad has money. That's how she says it.
Speaker 2:So it's like I understand that it can be hard and even when you're talking about being a reflection of your parents, I think that's very true because in a lot of ways I try to overcompensate for the things I was lacking. That's why I try to be at everything. I try to be at every event, every award. I try my best. You know, as long as it's not gonna impact us financially, I'll take the day off and I'll go, or I'll take the time off and I'll go. But it's just like I understand that. You know, in those situations it is hard to navigate because you're fighting with your own emotions and trying to deal with the situation, and I will say that we are very good at always explaining to her what's going on, why something happened, why something's gonna happen, why you got this consequence and what we expect from you moving forward. So it's not like we just you know, I don't wanna say chest highs it's not like we just lay down the law.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like we explain to her you did this, this and this. This is the consequences for that and this is what mommy and daddy expects from you. If you don't do this, you don't get that. It's very simple.
Speaker 2:It's really simple we make things very black and white for her. We make it where, if you ask her, she'll tell you I didn't do this, so I can't do this and it's not. And when it happens she's like she understands and she's not mad about it. But I can also see when she doesn't get something that she wants because she didn't come follow through on her part, she is sad about it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because what we do is we try to, we reflect back, we literally walk it through, like what I do with her is I literally walk her through each step that led up to the reason why she either didn't get something or something that didn't go the way she wanted it to. And when she talks it out herself, then it's like you see it in her. She's like okay, like I get it.
Speaker 1:I'm like it was, it was me. You know what I mean Because, like I always tell her, we all have to take accountability, we all have to be responsible to our choices. Just like this morning she did her pre-test. She didn't do bad on the pre-test, she did. She did good on the pre-test. And I was just trying to explain to her.
Speaker 1:I say you know, don't you want to be proud of yourself?
Speaker 1:That's what I always say, not just to make me proud, because you're not going to be, you're not going to be, a child in my house forever, and at some point you're going to have to like and I know some people, some people probably think like, oh, that's thinking too far into it, but it's really not Some point she's going to have to live her life for herself and it's she's going to have to be able to make herself proud and she's going to have to be proud of the choices and decisions that she has made, not just to make me happy. Right, like, I already learned my sight words, I know my sight words, I can read and write. Like I told her this morning, I said mommy, mommy and daddy, we can read and write. We know our sight words. We know how to make a complete sentence, you need to make sure that you know that you're staying up to par, and we do our best to support you in that part part of the issue is, especially with last night, is that we do.
Speaker 2:We do put an emphasis on letting her be independent and a lot of times she, you know that works against us because she, she pushes that independence Right. We let her, we give her the option of choose, you know, choose what you want to wear, what do you want to eat for breakfast, or what do you want for dinner, or you know so, excuse me. So we give her, we give her a lot of choices to where she can navigate to increase that skill of knowing how to make a decision.
Speaker 2:She can navigate her own life and and also teach her like the weight of responsibility and follow through, like. This is the decision that you've made, you have to follow through with it, you know so.
Speaker 1:And we don't just give up because it's boring or hard.
Speaker 2:Right. So we give her a lot of times when I don't I wouldn't even call it talk back, but a lot of times when she's like I just want to talk to you, like she, because she.
Speaker 1:That's what she said.
Speaker 2:Like she, she talks and she'll talk to us to try to understand fully to get a better understanding going on, exactly.
Speaker 2:And it's not like you know, like in older days, like, oh, child shouldn't talk back, or what would you say? No, that's not how we do things here, like we're going to explain to our daughter and we're going to have a conversation with her so that she understands what is what is expected and all that Right. And so I think so far, by us doing this, it has been a great benefit to her and to us, because a lot of times, even when she has to be, you know, reprimanded for something, she understands it off bat. I didn't, I didn't do this. So, yeah, I understand I'm not. And a lot of times she won't even ask for stuff because she knows to know I didn't have a good day. So I know I'm not going to get this Like I understand.
Speaker 1:She tells on herself, yeah, like when I picked her up from school, if she didn't have a great day because we always, we always talk about like our day and she'll say, um, she'll tell me she'll be like mom, I lost my recess today. Why did you lose your recess today, phoenix? Because I didn't finish all my morning work. Okay, phoenix, so that was your consequence for not finishing your your, um, your morning work. Yes, okay, so at this point I'm not going to, I'm not going to further discipline her, because she already was disciplined, right, so we can have a conversation as to why it's important to do your morning work.
Speaker 1:And just just like when her teacher, her teacher, um, told me the same thing after Phoenix that already told me, she was like, you know, I did take away her recess because she didn't finish her morning work and I was like, okay, she told me that, she told me the conversation that her and Phoenix had. I ensured her that I would reinforce the conversation. Phoenix and I had the conversation, explained to her how important it is, and you know, vice versa, if this continues, then we're going to move. You know, the consequences is going to get even more severe past that and literally the next day the teacher had pulled me to the side when I picked her up from school and she was like she had a perfect day today. She had a perfect day today.
Speaker 1:You know like it didn't take me like having to talk down at her yell, at her whopper and all this other stuff, Because she lost recess at school. But I say that all that say like how you were saying you know we have. I feel like we've created a good environment for her to feel comfortable to have the conversation Now. Granted, there are times where we have to just say like, because we said so, phoenix, you know what I mean. So like it's not-.
Speaker 2:Because it's about your safety.
Speaker 1:Because it's about your safety or it's something that even if we explain it to you, it's not gonna make sense for you because you don't understand the back end part of it. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:So we do have moments where we have to just be like Phoenix, do it, and I think I mean I'm not trying to toot our horn, but I think we've done a good job of setting a standard that she sees and so she doesn't like, cause I've seen her come home and have papers are not done and she won't hand those to us Cause she knows that's gonna be a conversation. But if she comes home, everything that's a nine out of 10 or a 10 out of 10, and it's perfect. Oh, she'll hand those tools right away, right away. And but if I I feel like-.
Speaker 1:She'll take her time like taking bags, taking paper out of her backpack.
Speaker 2:I said Phoenix, what's this? Why are you finished this? Oh, I didn't, I didn't finish it. I said why are you finished it? I just ran out of time. Okay, so I know, if you ran out of time, you were either talking or playing.
Speaker 1:You were managing it right.
Speaker 2:There is a standard that has been set and she realized that and it does affect. It does affect how she moves, cause you know clearly she, she's not going to go out of her way to display things that are incomplete. So she understands that and you know it's not that. You know, I believe we have a great child. You know she's I do too. She is a very loving, affectionate, caring person.
Speaker 1:And she doesn't give us a ton of problems. She really does it. She really does Like. She is really a good kid.
Speaker 2:It's just that when the bomb goes off, it, she's it goes off.
Speaker 1:It goes. It goes all the way off.
Speaker 2:So you know to other parents out there it's, it's, it's not abnormal.
Speaker 1:No, and I know she's going through a transition too. Like as she's getting older, she's becoming more aware of, like the world around her and she's becoming more aware of the differences in people and opinions and things like that. And I can also tell that because of how the questions that she asks you know or she's been seven since the, since the first. Oh, she's been it's the only 24. I'm seven Since January since January 1st she's been seven.
Speaker 2:It's not how it works.
Speaker 1:That's all she keeps talking about is how she wants to be. She's like mom. So for my birthday, we're going to have it at Kids Empire for it, Cause I'm going to be seven, Cause I'm going to be seven. You're going to be in her party already and I'm like Phoenix, I know when you're going to be seven. I was there. I was there. I was there when I was told you when you're going to be seven August 15th and but not her inviting people to her birthday party.
Speaker 1:Yes, she did At the birthday party that neither one of us has paid for yet. So she's already invited people to the birthday party, but we don't, we don't, we don't know if the party is going to be there, cause we haven't made any deposits and she's already said when it's going to be and you know where it's going to be. So I mean, we're just following her lead on that you tell everybody get ready.
Speaker 1:But yeah, so she is. She's getting to the point where she is becoming aware of her surroundings and peoples and opinions and how the world works, and I can understand that. It can probably be a little confusing and she's going to test the boundary. Your eyes are closed again, sorry.
Speaker 2:Don't do it. I was thinking about something.
Speaker 1:Don't do it. Don't do it, sorry, and you know she's asking a lot more questions. Like she comes to me every night before we go, before we go to bed, she'll be like mom, can I talk to you about something? And I'm like, of course, like I, even when I'm tired or whatever, I never tell her no. When she, when she comes to me and she says, can I talk to you about something, it's always yes, like always yes, because that's the type of relationship I would like to foster with her.
Speaker 2:You wanted to be comfortable talking about it.
Speaker 1:I want her to be comfortable to talk about whatever it is and express herself however she needs to. So to kind of wrap it up a little bit like last night after all of this happened we finished homework, we studied spelling words, it came time to go to bed and she was throwing a fit because we told her she couldn't come into our room because now she's like really, really tired, right. So I just told her go to her room for a little bit cool down. Of course that didn't happen. She threw a whole fit. We both let her throw her fit for about 15.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:She let her throw fit her fit for about 15, 20 minutes because for one I also know that she's gonna be tired as heck, because that takes a lot of energy to throw fit and fit throwing is exhausting.
Speaker 2:You should know you throw them off too.
Speaker 1:Goodbye. So after that I went into her room and I just calmed her down and I had her breathe and just had her tell me what was going on. I was like, however the words come out, just how are you feeling? What is going on, phoenix? And she's just like we didn't do our reading, because we read every night Like I told you, it's a how we read a lot in this house and I said, well, we haven't done the reading because you haven't calmed down, so you're not gonna be able to hear me if we're reading, because you're sitting here screaming at the top of your lungs.
Speaker 1:And she's like. She starts to tell me about like how she was sorry that she hurt my feelings and that me and her dad were so upset with her and she just wanted to be close to us and she just needs us to be a family. And then she looks at me and she goes mom, and she's never said this before and she goes mom, I just wanna make it right, like in those exact words. She was like mom, I just wanna make it.
Speaker 2:I must be asleep by that part.
Speaker 1:She was like you were in the room. I think you were watching your show and I'm saying like that what my anime? Your anime, your show, whatever. And she's like mom, I just wanna make it right and I was like I said Phoenix.
Speaker 2:You can make my story dance in words.
Speaker 1:I said Phoenix, that is fine. I said nothing is wrong like wrong per se, but the way you behaved just to do your homework was not acceptable.
Speaker 1:Out of pocket and I said we can express our frustrations in a better way. It's okay to be frustrated, it's okay to be annoyed, it's okay to be mad. I said, but how you control yourself is everything. And I know that's hard for you because you don't necessarily have the language or the skill or know how to really reel that in and you're still little. I said but that's why, me and daddy, we try to help you with that. That's why we always don't talk until we can calm ourselves down, until we can breathe, until you take a minute, I said. That's why we always give you a minute, so you can calm down, you can breathe, you can collect your thoughts. And then what do we do? We talk, we talk, but when you're screaming no one can hear you because you can't even hear yourself. So we had this long, long conversation and then I asked her. I said do you need a hug? And she was like yes, she just broke down.
Speaker 2:She was like yes, I need a hug. No, no, don't worry about it.
Speaker 1:I need a hug and I gave her a hug, and literally for me as well, like after her and I talked. We legit talked for probably about 15, 17 minutes before bed.
Speaker 3:Yeah, cause I was thinking about it.
Speaker 1:And we talked about all the way from. Well, it was at Wednesday when we first started doing the work and she was explaining to me about it was just boring and she didn't want to do it. And then I explained to her why it's important to do it and she was like, okay, I'm gonna. We went through the whole shending and after that I could see the tension and the stress kind of like she just relaxed and then I gave her a hug and I just held her and she just relaxed. And then it also did something for me too, like we were able to kind of get back.
Speaker 1:I really enjoyed you Get back on a good surface. You know what I mean. But I just reiterated to her it doesn't matter, mommy and daddy love you regardless. I said there's nothing you can do that will ever make me not love you. Nothing like nothing. If I think of the worst thing you could possibly do in this world, I would still love you. And she was like are you sure? That's what she always says, are you sure? And I'm like I'm positive, but it doesn't mean that you're not gonna get disciplined. It doesn't mean that you're not going to, you know, be in trouble at times. That's not what that means. That's not what love is. It's not gonna feel good all the time, phoenix. That's not how that works. And even when you are disciplined, you are still loved.
Speaker 2:Always.
Speaker 1:Always right. So, like for me when I heard that clip, it's outside of you know, the taking care of her physically and providing shelter for her and feeding her and all that stuff. Yeah, you can look at parenting and be like, okay, that could be the easier parts of them, but the difficult parts, I think, are the internal parts. It's the internal, I guess, dealt with, trauma that you have to deal with as a person and as a parent, and knowing and understanding the weight and responsibility of being responsible for and to someone who has to grow up in society and ensuring that they are the best prepared to go out into the world someday without you. That's the part that's hard. That's the part that's hard Because someday she's going to be someone's mom or she's going to be someone's wife, or she's going to be someone's employer, or you know what I mean and that's what I constantly think about that, because I know that all of those things start now, right, like when you start with therapy, what are the first things they ask you?
Speaker 1:Tell me about your childhood. That was great. Tell me about your childhood, right, because you start forming a lot of your self-identity in these years.
Speaker 2:It was great, very uneventful.
Speaker 1:Goodbye. So yeah, but I'm happy we got through it. Today is Friday, thank God. Yes, thank God. Today is Friday.
Speaker 2:She's still doing hard today.
Speaker 1:Well, she's not going to get homework today.
Speaker 2:I'm going to give her some.
Speaker 1:Oh well, but yeah. So today is Friday, so at least we get to kind of again take a little break from that and then we'll see how next week goes. I hope that this was just a one-off because, like I said, we were coming off of a three-week break, so I'm hoping next week you know, it's like week number two, excuse me we can get back into the rhythm of things and everything can die down and go back to being how it was. And hit the ground running. Yeah, so we'll see you all right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just make sure my eyes are open.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because that was kind of rude.
Speaker 2:Because I'm going to sit down and get a hug later so we can go on the same surface.
Speaker 1:Really you thought that was funny to say, huh, no, I'm serious.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to be on the same surface with you. That's how that looks to you.
Speaker 1:Anywho, let's hop into hour two cents.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:So the title of this one is my Son Gets Bullied About His Height. Ooh, Okay.
Speaker 2:Welcome to being a man.
Speaker 1:I would love others' advice on this. My son is 11. He's in middle school and the shortest boy in his class. He told me that every day he gets bullied about his height, with kids saying mean things and making fun of him. Three kids in particular are especially mean to him, including one boy who lives on our street and who used to be friends with him. My son has complained at times to his teacher, but this has still continued. After talking no, after talking it out together, he said that he would tell the teacher every time they said something about his height or said something negative to him, which is almost every day.
Speaker 1:I wonder if I should address this with the teacher or the principal, or directly with the kid on the street who lives with his parents. I really want to go up to the kid, who has been to our house many times, and tell him to cut it out, or I'll go to the school and his parents and make his life miserable, but I'm sure that crosses the line, or does it? If this was bullying based on any other characteristic, I'm sure it would not be tolerated by the school, but somehow this doesn't seem to be taken so seriously. What should I do? First of all, all form of bullying should be taken seriously, especially with the climate that we live in nowadays with kids. I know that we had an incident where our school district just settled a $27 million settlement with parents of a bullied child because his bullying resulted in his death at school. That was just from them pushing him and he hit his head and the child died. All forms of bullying, in my opinion, should be taken seriously. Do you agree?
Speaker 2:I agree.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I would also say that if he's short, get used to it. You have to be gross from a thick skin and be funny, Okay, but that's not the question. We're talking about the seriousness of him being bullied he shouldn't be bullied and the school should do something about it. But the harsh reality of it is the teacher can't hear everything and it's all going to be hearsay because other kids are not going to admit to it and that's going to be the stance of the school.
Speaker 1:But that's what she's saying. She should bring it to their attention.
Speaker 2:She should bring it to attention, but what she should do is tell her something in the meantime to hit them on the jaw.
Speaker 1:No, let's not do that.
Speaker 2:Let's not bust them in his lip until it turns white.
Speaker 1:No, don't listen to him because he's for one not being serious. I would say when it comes to your child, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:Whether it's serious or whether you think it's that serious or not that serious, putting somebody on notice so that you have that foundation in the event that this escalates or something happens. You know, and the school knows that, hey, back in January I came to you guys the principal and the teacher and I made you aware that there was a situation happening with my son and three additional boys here at the school where they were bullying him based on his height and he has been having issues with them Because we don't know how that's going to escalate. You don't know how that's going to escalate at all. Do you know what I mean? It could be them joking now to them starting to pick on him physically. To them starting to be more aggressive physically, to them now playing dangerous pranks on him that could result in him getting hurt. You don't know how that's going to escalate. And so they're in. He's in their schools care.
Speaker 1:Most of the time, kids that go to school are with the school more than they're like at home. So, yes, you should and the short answer is yes, you should notify the school, you should notify the principal If you, if the one of the little boys lives on your street, go knock on the door and speak to his parents. Bring your son with you and you and your son talk to the boys. Parents, put the parents on notice so that they know that their child is a bully Right, so that we can try to get to some type of resolve.
Speaker 2:Right, because the thing is is that he's coming to you and he's confiding in you, so he's he's going to want some type of results. Right, otherwise he wouldn't say anything to you If you're going to want to try to produce some type of results, if you want him to continue to confide in you.
Speaker 1:Right and show him that you still do. You do have his back Right and the thing is too. She said he was 11, I think he's probably not even telling you everything. He's telling you just enough to get you to have some action on his behalf, because he doesn't know what to do. But that's probably not even the. They are probably doing things like pranking him or hitting him or doing other things like that. But that's what he felt comfortable enough to come and tell you to see if you know, like if you can get some action behind it so that it can stop, so that people, other people, are aware that he is being bullied or that he is being, he's being made to be feel uncomfortable at school. So yes, in the short answer, notify the school, notify the principal, the teacher, the parents of the students. Have a meet, have a meeting, call a meeting with the other two boys, parents and the principal and get everybody in the room, get it all documented and go from there.
Speaker 2:And then give your son the green light and throw them hands.
Speaker 1:If he is provoked throw them if they touch you, you defend yourself.
Speaker 3:That's just what we tell our daughter we teach our daughter.
Speaker 1:If somebody, if somebody hits you, somebody hits you intentionally, I'll add what do you do? You ball your fists up, you pick a spot and you hit them as hard as you can. And then her favorite part was like what do you tell them? What's she tell them?
Speaker 2:Keep your damn hands to yourself. Keep your damn hands to yourself. Keep your damn hands to yourself.
Speaker 1:And she put emphasis on that, damn she always do, because we gave her permission to say damn in that instance, because I always tell her if somebody hits you and you have to defend yourself, what do you do? You ball up your fists and you hit them somewhere as hard as you can and then you say keep your damn hands to yourself.
Speaker 2:And I'm just saying to the little boy he won't talk to you if he missing teeth, he won't be made fun of, bye.
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Speaker 1:Pans. What Only Pans Vibrates At Life. After I Do Podcasts, you can also reach out to us at LifeAfterIDoPodcasts at gmailcom. You get a new episode every Wednesday, so until next time, peace.