Join us on a rollercoaster of love, parenting, and compromise. From managing household chaos to navigating single parenting moments, we share experiences, strategies, and humorous tales. Discover the keys to keeping love alive amid life's challenges—trust, communication, shared responsibilities, and quality time. Our journey isn't always smooth, but it's worth it. We openly discuss handling resentment, supporting each other, and effective communication to sustain a thriving relationship. Laugh, cry, and celebrate the post-"I do" journey with us, because love is an action, not just roses and dinners.
Join us on a rollercoaster of love, parenting, and compromise. From managing household chaos to navigating single parenting moments, we share experiences, strategies, and humorous tales. Discover the keys to keeping love alive amid life's challenges—trust, communication, shared responsibilities, and quality time. Our journey isn't always smooth, but it's worth it. We openly discuss handling resentment, supporting each other, and effective communication to sustain a thriving relationship. Laugh, cry, and celebrate the post-"I do" journey with us, because love is an action, not just roses and dinners.
I take care of 100% of the financial load. Right, you have the, you know. I will just say 99% of the domestic load. If you decide to do something on the side or you have a side job, that doesn't in my eyes that doesn't exclude you from taking care of what you have to take care of in the house.
Speaker 2:So if you're what I agree to.
Speaker 1:Right. So I still expect you to have the house straightened up. I still expect you to have the laundry done. I still expect you to have the mills ready. You know what I'm saying, regardless of what you have planned to do on the side, because-.
Speaker 2:Hey everybody, I'm welcome back to another episode of Life After I Do Do-do-do-do-do. I'm your host, anisha G, and I'm here with my husband.
Speaker 1:Your husband Molito.
Speaker 2:Yes, my husband Molito. Maurice Gil, molito, don't put my whole government out there. Everybody knows your name, molito, or Maurice Gil. Okay, kainisha Gil, kainisha Gil, maurice Gil, whatever, nigga Hi babe.
Speaker 1:Hey.
Speaker 2:Really, I'm not doing this with you today. You said the tone. I don't have the energy or strength Energy.
Speaker 1:I got energy Got a lot of you guys, I'm hungry, okay, so what's new?
Speaker 2:Women always hungry? No, that's not true. Women always hungry. I've been up since 6.02 am and I hadn't had anything to eat. I got home at 4.10 pm and in between that time I had nothing to eat, which is, you know, it's fine, like I survived. And so when I got home, you had, I guess you took Phoenix to Chick-fil-A today, so there was a half a wrap that he had left, and then I ate.
Speaker 1:The healthiest thing at Chick-fil-A is they unseasoned chicken wrap.
Speaker 2:And it's, I mean, it's really not even all that healthy.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's only like. It's like 600 calories for the whole wrap, Only a half of it, yeah, and then I ate the other half.
Speaker 2:But you know, I don't know like, have you ever been so hungry that you want to eat, but you don't want to eat at all?
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Because you said that you understood where I was coming from earlier About being hungry. So, anyway, I had one so long without eating anyway that I was like I was hungry, but I wasn't hungry, but I was hungry. I don't even know if that makes sense.
Speaker 1:It made sense to me. I don't want to talk about you being hungry.
Speaker 2:Listen, it made sense to me. But then the craziest thing happened. Okay, so I'm on my way home and I'm like, okay, I was in the city. So I was like, okay, I'm gonna stop by like one of my, one of my favorite spots.
Speaker 1:He was in the hood, don't say the city, the hood, whatever.
Speaker 2:So Taco Peets there's this place called Taco Peets and they have really good tacos. I was like I'm gonna stop by Taco Peets because I'd never get Taco Peets. So I go to Taco Peets. Taco Peets is closed down and then my mom tells me that they relocated. I'm like, okay, whatever, I need to get home because I'm already gonna be in like hella traffic. So on my way home I finally get back to our side, our region of the area, away from the hood, and I stopped by. I stopped at one of our favorite places, place called Smoking Grill. Smoking fire.
Speaker 2:Smoking fire.
Speaker 1:I'm hungry, sorry, I mean we're not getting paid for. I'm not sure.
Speaker 2:It's a place called right, it's a place called Smoking Fire, and I was like, oh, I'll stop and I'll get me some wings. So I go in and I'm like you know how you know when you're anticipating eating something that you know that you'd normally enjoy. So I had that anticipation and so I walk in and I'm like, hey, can I just get a order of wings? And she was like, oh sure, and then she goes. You know what, let me double check to make sure that we even have wings. And I'm like what? So she goes back, she talks to the chef, she comes back. She was like oh, we actually don't have wings today. I was like, okay, duly noted. So she was like is there anything else I can get you? And I was like, no, I don't want anything else, that's all I wanted. So that happened.
Speaker 2:So after that I come up this way, getting closer to home, and I was like, oh, let me stop by Jersey Mike's Really, maurice. And I was like let me stop by Jersey Mike's. So I go to Jersey Mike's and I go to order what I normally get at Jersey Mike's and then she proceeds to tell me that they don't have all the ingredients for what I want to eat at Jersey Mike's and I said okay, god, I get it. You want me to go home and just eat what I have at home. Fine, so you know. So I came home and you had that half a wrap, so I ate the half a wrap that was on my day with. How was your day?
Speaker 1:My exhausting why?
Speaker 2:Because you had to be a parent on your own today.
Speaker 1:I had to be a parent all day. Oh, wow 10 out of 10 would not recommend.
Speaker 2:Tell me about it. You had to be a parent on your own for a few hours. 10 out of 10 wouldn't recommend.
Speaker 1:First of all, it's the last day of school was Friday.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:If y'all don't know, we record on Fridays Anyway. So it's Friday, so it's a minimum day. What's the point? Started seven out of 11. What's the point? What's the?
Speaker 2:what is the point Not?
Speaker 1:even seven. They started seven 45. So protect the eight o'clock. So for three hours and five minutes you have my child.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but that's because they still have to get funding.
Speaker 1:So by the time I dropped her off, ran two errands because I had to go get stuff that she didn't get done during the week.
Speaker 2:What? What'd you go get? The only thing you went and picked up today was the other after Christmas gift which I wasn't responsible for going to get you saw him back in there.
Speaker 1:I ain't gonna put your business on front street. So anyway, by the time I got back home I said, well damn, I'm gonna have to go get her in an hour. I can't even do that. I can't do nothing. I got an hour to get her. So then of course I said, I'm gonna just get her early now.
Speaker 2:Right and I called. When I called, I was like what are you doing? I called him at like 10, 1003 or something like that and I was like what are you doing? He was like oh, I'm on my way to go get Phoenix. I was like why are you getting her so early? She already gets out early, why are you getting her?
Speaker 1:even earlier. No, he's like, I can't do.
Speaker 2:I can't do with, I can't deal with after school traffic, School traffic.
Speaker 1:I drive for a living.
Speaker 2:School traffic. But he swears up and down that school traffic gives him anxiety. It's a different beast. It's a different beast.
Speaker 1:You just gotta know how to manage it, Like for instance yesterday. Can I tell my date yeah, go ahead. Sorry, you let your time. Goodbye, I didn't catch you off. Reclaim my time. Okay goodbye, reclaim my time.
Speaker 2:Go ahead and reclaim your time, Anyway.
Speaker 1:I get there to pick her up early, which ended up being a bad idea because everybody at their mama thought the same thing. I said, let's just get them early, See. And then so I'm in there, I'm waiting. I said, okay, I get a little lady with a honey count on my ID. I'm here to pick up Phoenix, so I'm waiting. I'm like man, it's taking a long time for them to get her.
Speaker 1:I'm like, oh my God, her classroom's like right next to me Like wait, it's like right there, so turn out she was at recess, so she wasn't there about that. But then she came in the office with like three bags and a gift and I said, oh my God. I said okay. And then so we get in the car. I said okay, phoenix, we're gonna take you to five below. I said you can get one thing, but you have to pick out a Christmas gift from mommy. I said do you know what you want to get, mommy? And she said I'm gonna get mommy a pillow, because mommy loves pillows.
Speaker 2:And that's funny because of what happened last night, so okay, so let me see One, two three, so anyway.
Speaker 1:So then she. So we take off. I'm driving, I look behind me, she has a whole donut. Huh, I guess they hand out donuts in class. She proceeds to demolish this donut.
Speaker 2:She ate the whole donut or she only ate the top. She ate the whole donut.
Speaker 1:I think she ate the whole donut. And then she was like dad, I got a candy cane too.
Speaker 2:I said no no, no, no, no, you do not. No, ma'am, that's not how we do things over here.
Speaker 1:So then we get the five below and she said, okay, I'm gonna look for mommy's stuff first. And she's like, basically her attitude was, let's get mommy out of the way so I can do what I want to do in here. So she goes and she gets out your gift or whatever that she found for you, and then she proceeds to walk around for 35 minutes because she's looking at everything and I'm like, okay, I had to give her a countdown. So when I finally gave her a countdown, we finally got a five. First of all, we bought three items and it was $20. At five below. I thought five below was supposed to be $5 and below.
Speaker 2:They capped Well, taxes maybe.
Speaker 1:They capped. So then I proceeded to go to Chick-fil-A because she said she was starving. So I took her to Chick-fil-A. I got my wrap. She ordered her food. She told her I want chicken nuggets, french fries and strawberry lemonade. I said, ma'am, I don't even think Chick-fil-A has strawberry lemonade. And she was like no, no, no, no, we do.
Speaker 2:I said she knows, so she got her strawberry lemonade. She knows what she wants.
Speaker 1:So then I ordered my chicken wrap with my diet lemonade, because I said hey, I'm at Chick-fil-A, might as well get lemonade. She proceeds to drink one sip of her lemonade and said mm. This ain't for me.
Speaker 2:And drinks. You're in lemonade.
Speaker 1:And they said dad, I want yours.
Speaker 2:Yep, that's typical Phoenix. That's what she does, and the only time she really drinks the strawberry lemonade is if we go to Starbucks and get a strawberry acai with the lemonade. That's the one that she wants, so she thinks all strawberry lemonade tastes like that.
Speaker 1:So then now she on a sugar high and now she's showing her ass in Chick-fil-A. So then she gets in trouble. So she comes home and we take a nap and I said this is great, cause I was tired, I was exhausted, so I napped for about an hour and a half. She napped for about three hours and then she got up and then she was like first thing on her mouth was Dad, can I have a snack? I said no, you can go and I'll serve you the rest of that Chick-fil-A you need. That's what you can do.
Speaker 2:And is that when she had a call to me to ask me if she could get eaten in her bedroom.
Speaker 1:That's when she was like I just wanna talk to my mom. Ha ha, ha ha. Mommy, let me eat upstairs all the time.
Speaker 2:No, I don't. She is such a fipper.
Speaker 1:I said nah, pimp, go back down to serious.
Speaker 2:And it's funny that she said that, because you know like okay, so my week, Y'all was done. My week, my day. I didn't tell her my week, but that's my week. Oh, what was your week?
Speaker 1:No, no Okay.
Speaker 2:Well, my week was really, really rough because we had a really kind of rough day yesterday because, going back to like what you said about eating in her room, she came to the top of the staircase and she was like, hey, do we have any ice cream?
Speaker 2:And I said, yeah, there was literally, quite literally like two spoonfuls of ice cream left of sherbet. And I was like, yeah, you can have the ice cream, I said, but you have to eat it downstairs at the table. So she's like, okay, so she goes into the kitchen, she gets the ice cream and I start hearing footsteps going upstairs and I was like Phoenix, where are you going? And she was like, oh, I just wanted to finish my show and eat my ice cream. And I was like, yeah, but you're not going to do that upstairs. I was like you need to come downstairs, sit at the table and eat and then you can go back upstairs. Well, that turned into a whole hour of long story short fit, a screaming match. Me not being her friend, me not being a good mom, because I didn't let her eat upstairs.
Speaker 1:I mean she went all in.
Speaker 2:Yesterday I took her to her room and I was like, well, you can sit here in your room and you can think about how you know you behaved. And I was like, and when you calm down, we will talk about what just happened, because it's unacceptable, you know, yeah, and so she's going on and she's like trying to keep it under wraps, like I can hear her trying to calm herself down, but then, like the anger of everything that has transpired is like getting to her, because I ended up throwing the ice cream in the trash, like in front of her face, I ended up taking the ice cream from, and that's when I did that. I have never seen that level of like anger, of anger in my six year old, because she was so upset that she couldn't go upstairs and eat her ice cream. So I was like I kept telling her and I mean calmly, I didn't even raise my voice Calmly I said every time she was like, can I go please?
Speaker 2:I said, phoenix, go to the table, finish your ice cream, then you can go upstairs. I said, the more you sit here and cry about not being able to eat your ice cream upstairs, the more you're like neglecting the ice cream. So that also lets me know that it's really not that important to you. So she's going, going, going on. And so I say I said forget it. I said the ice cream is sitting at the table melting and I took the top of ice cream and I threw it in the trash. Lord have mercy. When I threw that ice cream in the trash she was like you can't just throw people's food away.
Speaker 2:That is so not responsible. I laughed about it, but not in her face. I laughed about it when she wasn't in my presence because it's like she's at the stage now where she's trying like to express herself and the new vocabulary that she's picking up through. You know how we speak to her and like you know what she's getting at school and stuff. She's trying to use those words but she doesn't necessarily know how to really fit them, you know, in in sentences. So when she says things like that, it's funny. So anyway, we get through all that. She comes back downstairs, we talk, we really talk it out.
Speaker 2:You know, I talked to her about her behavior. She apologized blah, blah, blah. So I had mentioned to her. I said you know, and it was also really hurtful that you said something to me out of anger, I say you told me that that I, that I wasn't a good mommy because I didn't let you eat upstairs and I was like that really hurt my feelings, phoenix, and she was like I'm so sorry. I love you, mommy, don't go anywhere. And then she goes. You make the best dinners.
Speaker 1:She beat capping, she beat capping.
Speaker 2:Hi there, phoenix, you are hilarious.
Speaker 1:I just want to say welcome to the party, welcome to the club.
Speaker 2:That was the first time. I really got like that. I really got to that side of her.
Speaker 1:I've been a. I've been bad dad a couple of times.
Speaker 2:You're such a bad daddy, oh was she got to sit with you.
Speaker 2:You don't love me, you're a bad daddy, me and daddy. And then once, once, she like, when she gets that way, we let her, like, you know, get it out Like cause, you know, that's just her raw emotion in that moment. And you know, after a while, like, we always let her know when you can compose yourself and calm down, find a way to cool down, cool it off, then we can talk about what happened. So that was the same thing yesterday, like when she finally calmed down. She always comes to us and she, like yesterday she came to me once she calmed down and she was like mom, can we talk? And I said, yes, you can come downstairs and you can talk to me.
Speaker 2:And she was like can you come upstairs? And I said, no, I cannot. I said, but you can come downstairs and we can have a conversation. And she's like, okay, and so I let her go first. And she was, of course, the thing that she was hung up on was me throwing her ice cream away. And she was like you can't just throw people's food away. That's not responsible and that hurt my feelings. And she was like, and I was trying to talk to you and you didn't talk, and that's not nice.
Speaker 1:Only problem is her talking to you is just for you her talking so you can see what she wanna do, right?
Speaker 2:right, that's what talked Right. So anyway, that was probably like the highlight of my week, but other than that, it's like this past week. I feel like I wasn't under the weather, but I wasn't all the way with it, I was very just kinda I was operating at a six this week. That's pretty much where.
Speaker 1:I've been, I've been at a three all December.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've been operating at like a six, so Well, just get into it.
Speaker 1:But yeah, you've been talking all.
Speaker 2:So any who? Well, I mean catching up so.
Speaker 1:They don't. These people don't care about your life.
Speaker 2:What You're so rude. You're so rude and I don't even know. I don't even know.
Speaker 1:Any who today Am I?
Speaker 2:adopted, you are adopted. Well, I forgot how that even came about.
Speaker 1:You used to always come here. That's why I don't know when likes you and you're adopted.
Speaker 2:Oh no, it came out as a joke one time, cause I was like he had said something to me and I was like ha ha ha. I was like that's why nobody likes you and you're adopted. But I meant it as like a joke, you know. But I forgot like technically he was adopted.
Speaker 1:It's not technically. I was legally adopted.
Speaker 2:I was legally he was adopted, but I didn't. I wasn't thinking that way when I said it.
Speaker 1:You don't think about how you hurt people's feelings.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:Typical woman.
Speaker 2:What we got today boo Bye, oh. And then sorry, just real quick, cause after that I said I had told you when you were like I was adopted and I was like, yeah, but it wasn't like a real adoption. Okay, sorry, okay, so getting into it today I feel like this is like perfect, like a perfect segue. Right Today we're going to be talking about is love enough.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:To keep. I was going to say that was a prime example that love is not enough. Is love enough to keep a relationship together? No, To keep a marriage together.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Why.
Speaker 1:Because love is emotions, and emotions change and shift.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're right.
Speaker 1:So, in a nutshell Because I can love you and I can like you, but don't say me, I love and like you at the same time. Now, that is true. I can like you and not love you, that is true. And I can also love you and not like you, that is true. Have you and not like.
Speaker 2:Goodbye. So yes, love. In a nutshell, short answer, like he said. He said love is not enough.
Speaker 1:Damn. I guess I said that before.
Speaker 2:One of the reasons why I wanted to talk about this is because, of course, we all most of us anywhere on social media.
Speaker 1:Because you was listening. You was listening Everybody has-. You were listening to Cisco, huh.
Speaker 2:No, just love me now. Goodbye. Everybody has. There's all different types of like relationship, podcast relationship, things that are going on and everyone gets online and they share their two cents. But something that I felt like I was hearing a lot was how people talk about oh, like I wasn't in love with her anymore, or I found that I wasn't in love with him anymore. And it's when I start thinking about those long-term relationships, like when we look at people who have been together for extended periods of time or who, have you know, met the commitment that they've made to a person like till death. Do you part? Was it love that kept them together?
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:No, I don't think that it was. It wasn't just love that kept them together.
Speaker 1:And consistency, and sometimes options.
Speaker 2:What do you mean by options?
Speaker 1:And then I know options.
Speaker 2:Bye, bye, demi-o, bye, anywho. So it got me to thinking about like, just like our relationship, right, so we're-.
Speaker 1:You mean your relationship.
Speaker 2:It got me thinking to-.
Speaker 1:Does it for the right.
Speaker 2:To like our relationship and when I think about like our hardships and when I think about if for me I'm speaking for me now If I wasn't thinking about the future and my future and what I wanted that to look like, how easy would it have been for me, at multiple periods during our relationship, to walk away. And even during some of the time that we've been married, where you know, I've had conversations with other people and it's like they would have been like yeah, girl, like mm-mm, you need to walk away from that the door right there Stop, ain't nobody keeping you hostage.
Speaker 2:But you know, but I think about the things that we've been through and I think about, like, our hardships and our valleys that we I don't think our hardships has been that hard. They haven't been like terrible. I mean, I've heard some really bad ones. We haven't been there, but I'm saying what I'm saying is that the things that we have faced during the times where we didn't necessarily or weren't necessarily like in the headspace, where we were still head over heels for each other, what are the things that you think that you focused?
Speaker 1:on. I must be honest, these last like two, three weeks I've been on you, I know.
Speaker 2:And that's another thing. Like you know, i'ma say it again the ebbs and flows of relationships because we're in a period, or like have been, where you've been kind of overly obsessed with me recently, and then once you kind of like get through that phase, I feel like then I get into that headspace and then you're already like I'm over your head. Yeah, I'm already over you.
Speaker 1:I tried, you were there.
Speaker 2:So-, but that happened, so anyway.
Speaker 1:It's probably gonna happen when your birthday comes from two to two. Now I need to remodel.
Speaker 2:Goodbye. So when I think about it, I mean there's a multitude of things that you can focus on in other areas of your relationship that are just as important, if not more important, than love, that can help sustain a relationship. I would say my five right off the top of my head you got five things. Were trust, communication, quality time, shared responsibilities, show you're right and tolerance.
Speaker 1:That's a big one.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:So out of those five, I say focus on I think you forgot friendship.
Speaker 2:Well, friendship is in there too, obviously not cause you didn't say the word Well, but what I'm saying is that there's so many, there's so many different subjects to that and hellish inflows, but the five that stuck out to me was the shared responsibility, the communication, quality time, tolerance and trust. And then, of those five, I would say the quality time, shared responsibilities and tolerance are like for me, like the meat of it all. Right, out of all of those, I would say the one of the top ones would be tolerance, because tolerance involves patience, it involves respect, appreciation, acceptance. I think tolerance is one of those things that when you are having those disagreements and those collisions in your relationship, tolerance is gonna be the one that kinda helps mediate and gets you through it. Because, like I said, a part of tolerance is the acceptance, a part of tolerance is the appreciation, a part of tolerance is gonna be the patience and the respect, which are all aspects of a relationship that you should maintain.
Speaker 1:And the loyalty.
Speaker 2:And the loyalty that all those aspects are things that you should maintain throughout the relationship, even when quote unquote love isn't there.
Speaker 1:It's love enough.
Speaker 2:Right. So when we talk about trust, tell me from your perspective how does trust help you to get through the difficult times?
Speaker 1:I'm not going to say what I first thought, because I had something to say. I don't know if I'm going to say it. I think trust helps you, because I'm with someone that I trust that is going to always do right by me. Have my best interest in heart, even when we're not necessarily in the best of places. I can trust the fact that you're going to move in the same manner when everything is good, when everything is not so good.
Speaker 2:You know what.
Speaker 1:I'm saying You're not going to switch up just because we're going through a rough patch. You're not going to stop doing the things that you do now. I mean, you might not get a booty up as often or something, but you might. You're going to do a little bit, but as far as representing yourself or showing yourself as my wife, those things are not going to change.
Speaker 1:I can trust that you can be steadfast in your representation of me and of our union and of your duties of our union. That's one thing I can trust. I was going to say also when going back to tolerance. I said, when the tolerance part is, everyone has a limit or amount of tolerance that they allow a person to have, I'm going to tolerate X amount before we get to a point to where, hey, now I got something to say I got to say this.
Speaker 1:Something has to be said, right? Yeah, I think that when you've been together, as long as we've been together, I think we both know they're about to be at their limit. Let me slow down. I know I can push her this far by maybe not doing things I normally would do or saying certain things, but I know, hey, I'm getting to the line where, once I cross this, it will be an issue, and I think now you're going to tolerate me, but in that instance, now you're trusting me not to cross that line. You see what I'm saying. So that's how that goes together.
Speaker 2:So yeah, with the tolerance. That's why I say the tolerance portion is really big. The tolerance portion is big when we talk about moving the relationship, like along. I know for me there are certain aspects about your personality, right, that you love, that I am not the fondest of Like what. Let's talk about it. No, we're not going to apply for them. Talk about it. Or your tendencies. I would say like your tendencies, let's talk about it.
Speaker 1:I would say your tendencies. Let's talk about them.
Speaker 2:But when I think about some of the tendencies that you have that I'm not entirely fond of, I also have to take a step back and realize that, that you benefit from every tendency. No, that some of the tendencies that you have, that you have, you've always had right Like what? So you've been consistent with it. Like what, Babe? I'm not going to get into your tendencies, Just speak. Let me speak. Oh goodness gracious.
Speaker 1:We need to cut people off. At the beginning of the episode, they got something to say.
Speaker 2:now, I didn't cut you off, okay, go ahead, so yeah. So, like I was saying, some of the tendencies that you have, that I don't necessarily, that don't necessarily rub me the right way, are also tendencies I have learned to deal with, to live with and to tolerate, because for me they are not things that are deal breakers, for me they are more of an annoyance sometimes.
Speaker 1:You're not going to sound like I'm out here just irritating, no, but here's the thing too, and this is what I know about me.
Speaker 2:I am very much a person sometimes that I expect me of others, right. So I expect how I would handle a situation. I will expect you to handle the situation.
Speaker 1:I'm not doing things the wrong way.
Speaker 2:Stop it. So the way I handle certain things are the way that I would expect him to handle them, and when I take a step back and I think about like okay, this is who my husband is, this is his tendency and this is how he normally goes about things, then I'm less inclined to kind of like judge it if that makes sense. But I feel like that is something that I tolerate because I can also respect that you see things differently than I do.
Speaker 1:I can respect the fact that you are going to go about, so I could like rebuttal this.
Speaker 2:Okay, the first thing that comes to mind is family. Oh, yeah, yeah. So yeah, because, see, he already knows what I mean. He already knows what I mean. Go ahead and tell me what you mean, just the way in which we interact with each other's family, the way I interact with your family and the way you interact with my family. They're completely different, but I know that for me, like I said, I would have a tendency to expect me and how I operate and deal and interact with people. I expect for you to be the same way, but you are not.
Speaker 2:Let's be fair, and that's okay.
Speaker 1:Let's be fair about that, because you know there's members of my family where I treat just like I treat your family.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:I really only show love to my siblings, but here's the thing.
Speaker 2:What I'm saying is I tolerate to a certain extent some of your tendencies because they're not necessarily deal breakers. Right, I feel like I'm pretty good.
Speaker 1:Why are you cutting me off?
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, but I feel like I'm pretty good, but you can't say I'm sorry and then keep talking, because I feel like I'm being attacked. We can never complete something. I'm not attacking you.
Speaker 1:I feel like I'm being attacked. Okay, I'm not attacking you, I'm not going to go, I'm going to go.
Speaker 2:But what I'm saying is, if I can finish, I tolerate those tendencies and have tolerated some of the tendencies throughout our relationship, because they are not necessarily deal breakers and they are not necessarily something that I can get so hung up on to where it starts to affect our relationship or my interaction with you, right. But I also feel like, because you know, as we continue to grow together, you can pick up on certain things from my behavior or my vibe, when I feel like you know getting to a point where you know that I'm going to say something. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1:Mm, hmm.
Speaker 2:Like you know how to, like, you know how to read me sometimes, where you will interject and say something or do something where you know it's like you can look at me and be like, oh, she's starting to get annoyed or she's starting she's going to be, she's going to get upset. So let me, let me, you know, try to be more social or sociable, or let me you know what I mean, mm, hmm, so that I can appreciate. But as far as, like me, tolerating some of the things that that do annoy me about you, I've learned to appreciate some of those things and I can respect some of those things, because I do understand that just because you think a different way doesn't necessarily make it wrong, because it doesn't. You see things differently, just like how I see things differently, your point of view and perspective is different, just like my point of view and perspective is different, and I think that's what makes it work too. Okay, really, really, Okay. So, going back to the other points, like quality time Obviously, quality time is important.
Speaker 2:We talked about this. I feel like, if not every episode, multiple episodes, we got to get that bubble time. We got to get that bubble time because if you're not growing together. You're growing apart. So it's important to make sure you prioritize time with your partner. It's important that you prioritize your partner's interests. I think that's a big thing too. It's like, just because I don't have an interest in some of your hobbies doesn't necessarily mean and gives me the free pass to be like oh, we can't do this because I don't like to do that, and that's the thing that you like.
Speaker 1:I think I do a good job at supporting your hobbies. I think I do.
Speaker 2:What? What? Financially, because you don't do any of my hobbies with me. That's not true. But you don't participate in all my hobbies. Is what I'm saying? What?
Speaker 1:But I support them. I buy you everything you need.
Speaker 2:Okay, you do.
Speaker 1:Do I not?
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And yet and still, I have no KitchenAid mixer.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, if you want a KitchenAid mixer, babe, you can get a kitchen. I know I'm getting you for.
Speaker 1:Christmas. No, you're not getting me. I'm going to take it right back.
Speaker 2:See, and then you do that. If I say, okay, you tell me you want something, I go get it, and then you be like I'm going to return it, Just like your Christmas gift. Last year I got you exactly what you said you wanted for Christmas, and the first thing he did was say where's the receipt?
Speaker 1:I got my hook right back.
Speaker 2:And he took it right back.
Speaker 1:We had no money to spend. Took that right back.
Speaker 2:It's like anytime I try to do like a nice gesture for him, he's always immediately like, okay, well, how much did you spend though? And it's like, but it's for you. But then don't complain that people don't think about you or that people don't try to do things for you.
Speaker 1:The thing is, when I say you don't think about me, I want the little things I don't want big things, I know, and I do the little things and the big things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you do. Oh, my gosh, I'm not. I'm not doing this with you. I'm not doing this with you. You're not doing what? Any of it. So, yeah, going back to quality time obviously we talk about quality time.
Speaker 1:I can't see what I had to say we literally said we're talking about quality time. That's part of quality time baby.
Speaker 2:Well, this is part of our quality time, like now that I think about it. You know, going back, to quality time.
Speaker 1:This is technically quality time together as doing the podcast together you sound like Stefan, you guys. At least you guys get to hang it out together. I'm just hanging out.
Speaker 2:This nigga want to hang out with me every day.
Speaker 1:I've been on your ass. What is he talking?
Speaker 2:about Don't let him sit up here and cab y'all?
Speaker 1:I'm going to tell you something, people. The last two and a half three weeks I've been on my wife. I've been just trying to be under her.
Speaker 2:He calls me every five minutes. I'm like yo and he be like. Why are you not obsessed with me the way I'm obsessed with you?
Speaker 1:I don't understand.
Speaker 2:I'm obsessed with you and you're not obsessed with me. And I'm like it's not that I'm not obsessed with you, but I legit have things that I have to do.
Speaker 1:I'm at work.
Speaker 2:I'm thinking about you. Okay, but I was at work too. I was knee deep in three loads of laundry.
Speaker 1:You got two more up there.
Speaker 2:I don't like you, so the next point is share the responsibilities.
Speaker 1:What responsibilities do we share?
Speaker 2:We share responsibilities. Which ones? Pretty much the things that you're responsible for and the things that I'm responsible for. That's sharing responsibilities, sharing responsibilities of raising our child. We share the responsibility of raising our child.
Speaker 1:No, I protect you, nurture and raise. I protect the provide for her.
Speaker 2:Okay, but that's still taking care of her and that's still sharing the responsibility of her, is it not?
Speaker 1:I think I'm doing a great part on my side.
Speaker 2:Okay, anywho, shared responsibilities. I think shared responsibilities are a really big one. The reason why I say shared responsibilities are a really big one speaking from my perspective, the female perspective when we feel as though we're taking on a lot and we're not getting help. But we have partners, resentment is something that is very easy and always.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I assume that it is and that it does. The resentment is always. I always like to say resentment is always a door away. When you feel like you're taking on the bulk of carrying the family. When it comes to taking care of the family, doing the errands, taking care of the house, still having to take care of the husband, you know what I mean when you're wearing all of those hats and, as a woman, we wear so many different hats and so many things fall on our shoulders. Please don't do that. Please don't do that.
Speaker 1:We got it so bad.
Speaker 2:No, I didn't say that. I did not say that I think that, equally, both men and women shoulder a lot. But we're going to be honest when it comes to taking care of the household and rearing the children, majority of that responsibility falls on women, and when yeah, it does it actually does.
Speaker 2:I don't wear this child at all. I'm listening here. Like I said, majority of that responsibility falls on women, and that can become a lot. It's the mental load that weighs probably the most, and when a woman starts to feel like she doesn't have any help but I'm sitting up here and I'm in a relationship resentment is very easy to follow.
Speaker 1:And that goes both ways. When a man feels like I'm doing everything here, I'm doing everything in my power to provide financially and I'm showing up when I can. When I'm not providing and I don't feel appreciated, I don't feel like my efforts are being respected.
Speaker 1:And I'm coming home and I'm having to address things or do things that I should not have to address or do, because these are the guidelines that we've been put in place and you're not living up to your part. So now I'm doing my part and part of your part. That's when a lot of men be like well. That's that's when a lot of men get to the point where it's like well, if I'm providing everything and then have to come in and do half of the domesticated work, or 40% of domesticated work, and still do the child rearing and all that stuff and I'm responsible for everything financially and responsible for making sure everything is like certain things get done inside the house Then, yeah, then I'm going to start being feeling resentful, I'm going to start feeling like I'm being used and at a certain point, I'm going to start to try to look for a better option.
Speaker 2:Okay, so I'm not going to discredit any of that. However, I will say yeah. However, I will say you have, there are men who will do that right, but, like you said, 40% of the house housework or domesticated work or whatever. I feel like this could go off into a huge tangent and on a completely different subject, but since you brought it up, we're going to talk about it. You have women who work and still carry most of the household load, and carry most of the load when it comes to children right and they must have control.
Speaker 2:So the thing is, the thing is, especially men, who? Here's the thing men, you focus so much on the financial, which is a huge portion right, because we got to live right, so you think that the financial is just really the. That's the bullet point for you is the financial With women. It's the financial, it's the security, it's the stability, it's the kids, it's the house, it's outside the house, Like I don't think. Hold on before you don't interrupt me. I didn't interrupt you, right.
Speaker 2:All of the things that you mentioned are all of the things that women think about, carry and do on a daily basis, and some even with the financial. Because you have some women who still do all of those things and still work a full-time job and contribute financially to the household that that man is so hung up on that he provides for. But but the woman will still go to work, bring in an income, still have to do bath time. Still have to do homework. Still don't interrupt me. Still have to clean kitchen. Still have to clean bathrooms. Still have to make sure that everybody gets breakfast in the morning. Still have to make sure that there's lunch. Still have to make sure that they're not ruining their child because they decided to yell at them because they lost their temper.
Speaker 2:All of the mental stuff. That's what I try to explain. It's the mental load that can become really heavy that not a lot of men carry. You carry the mental load of being a protector and a provider when it comes to the finances and all of that, and that is really important. We get it, we understand it. But the mental load of being a mother and the mental load of being a woman that has its own challenges and then, on top of that, having to be responsible for majority of taking care of a household and the majority work when it comes to children, is a lot. So when we talk about shared responsibilities and I talk about resentment, that's why you hear a lot of women when they talk about how they can start resenting their husbands or they can start resenting their boyfriends because they don't feel like they're getting enough help.
Speaker 2:Okay and I'm not Okay, and hold on and I get what you're saying, because I get what you're saying.
Speaker 1:I get what you're saying, okay, but you're not letting them respond to what you're saying.
Speaker 2:Okay, go ahead respond. I want to hear. I want to hear it. Go ahead.
Speaker 1:It doesn't matter. Seriously, it does matter, but you were interrupting me, you said there, said all that, then got back to the talking part. Let me interject and say let me get my leg back.
Speaker 2:You got your leg. No one's trying to get a leg. We both work together.
Speaker 1:So, like I'm saying is what I'm saying is, in the women in your situation that you describe, they should feel some type of ways, but I'm talking about men that are out here providing a hundred percent financial support to the family unit. Okay, Now I agree, it is my standpoint and I know this is not popular among the men. If you are one of those men where your wife works, you need to be working inside that house Because you're not providing her with a space to just be in her feminine energy or just be in a motherly, wifey road. If she's out there helping you provide, then you need to take on some of the housework, some of the hard work with the children.
Speaker 1:What I was talking about earlier, I was talking about the men who got out here day in and day out and they are the sole financial provider. I'm not talking about the women out here working. When you were working right, I did not expect you to do everything around here. Matter of fact, when you were working, I did 90% of the cooking because you were, I wouldn't say 90.
Speaker 2:You did a lot of cooking. I would not say 90. But you did do a lot of cooking.
Speaker 1:Yes, and we did grocery shopping together. Sometimes I would grocery shop by myself, but now that that dynamic has changed you know what I'm saying and now that I provide 100% of the financial here you now are essentially 97% of the domestication stuff around here and I come in when you are overwhelmed or when you used to say, hey, babe, I ain't got it in me this today, or I just need you to come, and that's when I come in.
Speaker 2:That's because that's something that we have agreed upon.
Speaker 1:So what I'm saying is when a man is 100% the financial provider right, and then he still has to come home and do domestic stuff, he still has a headbutt with kids, he has to make sure things are in order inside the home and outside the home, that is when they fall into the realm of days. They start to get into the mindset like you're talking about. They start to feel like they're not being there, they're starting to resent, they're starting to feel like they're not appreciated, they're not respected, and that they get into the mindset of I'm going to now start to resent you because, honestly, as a man, we get to a point where we hit the point to where it's like I can do bad by myself. I can be out here struggling to take care of all this without the added responsibility and making sure you're okay as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, men and women have felt that as well. I think this made me think about an episode of crew season that I had listened to Shout out to the crew season. He would have been.
Speaker 1:That's my nigga.
Speaker 2:But they had one of their Patreon members right in and, long story short, she was beginning to resent her husband because they were on child number four. He expressed to her even before they got married that he wanted four to five kids. Right, and he wanted more of a traditional setting in the relationship. They've been married 12 plus years. They have four kids. They had a 12 year old, a 12 year old, a seven year old, a three year old and a three month old. Okay, and she makes $200,000 a year on her own.
Speaker 2:Her husband makes. Her husband makes $185,000. Okay, I'm staying home. Her issue was that she they both work from home. She also had a side hustle where she did photography on the weekends, but they have four kids. Her issue was that when he, after he works, he plays video games, he suffers from a little bit of insomnia. He plays video games, doesn't go to bed to like three o'clock in the morning or so, leaving her to do most of the you know the things getting up and down at night with the kids, with a newborn by herself and she. Her complaint is that he doesn't help her with the kids, even though he's home like he's home all the time, and even when he's not clocked in for work, he still doesn't help with the kids and she's starting to become resentful.
Speaker 2:So one of the aspects that they had talked about was how she was somewhat in the wrong, because he already expressed to her prior to their marriage and have been throughout their marriage, that he wanted more of a traditional Household. Because when she came to him and said that she was feeling overwhelmed, she was starting to feel resentful because she takes care of the kids and she still works and she has a side hustle, his response to her was quit your job, quit your job. That's what he said. So then she said when she went to, she started therapy and she was surprised that when her therapist told her quit the job, quit your job, the therapist told her the same thing. The therapist said quit your job. If you're feeling overwhelmed, quit your job. Her husband said quit your job because I make more than enough money to cover us entirely. We have, you know, we have our house, we have our cars, our kids are straight, they're in private school, everything is settled. Even without your income, we will still be fine. Because his way of thinking is a traditional way of thinking.
Speaker 2:And so the guys were just debating between you know, I guess, old school traditions and new school traditions and the debate became that if you're in a traditional household, as a man who provides 100% financially for a household, does he still have any duty and responsibility to inside the household? And, based on traditional aspects of what they said, like even prime example for us, you're not. You're not held accountable to the domestic community. You're not held accountable to the domestication stuff around here in our household. Do you help if I need help? Yes, but I don't expect you to clean bathrooms, to sweep, to mop, to do dishes, to put away dishes, like you don't do those things.
Speaker 2:Those are things that I do because we have a greed. We've agreed to those terms at this point, right? So I think when you talk about something like that, where you have a man who's providing 100% and then he still has to come home and still have to do 40% or 50% of domesticated work because the woman isn't taking care of holding up her end of the bargain, I think that goes back to the other point that I stated earlier that helps long term relationships, which is the communication. There's a breakdown of communication somewhere, because somewhere someone is not understanding what their role is right now.
Speaker 2:So if you come like how you came and told me I'm going to take care of everything If you quit your job, we're going to be okay, because I'm going to figure it out, because I'm now taking that as my responsibility.
Speaker 2:But if I do that, this is what I'm requiring of you as my wife, and if you can't agree to that, then this is what we're going to do. But if you want to be home and you want to be with our child and I want you to be home and I want you to be with our child this is the way the structure is going to have to work. That was a conversation that was had. We came to an understanding of what our portion of this shared responsibility is going to be correct. So if you have a situation where you have a man who's providing 100% but he also hasn't made it clear, or there hasn't been any type of clear communication as the expectation of what he is to provide and what he is willing to do and what she is going to provide and what she's willing to do, then that's a real hard conversation that needs to be had.
Speaker 1:What do you think I was? Just I don't, I didn't want to talk without you know. Okay, what were you?
Speaker 1:gonna say you know I was gonna. Well, can I respond to the thing? For yes, I, I, I, I agree with that, but she should quit her job because he communicated effectively at the beginning what kind of marriage and what lifestyle he wanted, Right? So he's acting as if and you agreed to this. He's acting as if you've already agreed to this, right. So I agree, quit your job. He said he makes more enough to take care of the family. So he's saying, he's basically saying, everything you do outside of this is stuff that you're agreeing to take on yourself is not, it's not part of my deal, Right?
Speaker 1:It's basically not what I signed up for when I told you, and that's kind of what the program was before you agreed to marriage and that's kind of like that's similar to our dynamic, right? It's like, yes, I take care of 100% of the financial load. Right, you have the. You know, we'll just say 99% of the domestic load. If you decide to do something on the side or you have a side job that doesn't in my eyes, that doesn't exclude you from taking care of what you have to take care of in the house.
Speaker 2:So if you're not what I've agreed to Right.
Speaker 1:So I still expect you to have the house straightened up. I still expect you to have the laundry done. I still have to actually have the mills ready. You know what I'm saying, regardless of what you have planned to do on the side, because I always say, when you go out here and you do your makeup jobs or you do your craft orders or whatever, maybe, I always tell you that is your money. I don't come looking for you to give me your money. That's not the setup or the dynamic that we have. If you want to give me your money, I ain't gonna turn it down.
Speaker 2:Goodbye.
Speaker 1:But I'm not looking you sure it won't, but I'm not looking for it. You know what I'm saying. So, and I do think that, in regards to shared responsibility in that example, she needs to understand that in that man's eyes, he's living up to his responsibility because he's making enough to provide enough for his family and he sees his wife as working as something that she wants to do. Because I'm not forcing you to work, we good over here with just me. So I would agree with the therapist. I would say, yeah, you need to go ahead and quit that job, because I ain't doing shit around here.
Speaker 2:Make up with us 200K.
Speaker 1:Oh, but with taxes he's making 185, she's making 200. That's 300, okay, so exactly.
Speaker 2:So, even though you're-.
Speaker 1:Hold on, don't interrupt me. They're probably. She's probably making 200K, but she's probably only seeing because of both of them together, she's probably only seeing like 500.
Speaker 1:A half of that Once everything's said and done even with the kids Once everything's said and done, because of the tax bracket, that money here, so it ain't gonna be that big a deal he probably feel like if he really wanted to hustle and go out and make it like it's similar to the conversation I had with you, I can. The money we would lose from you not working I could easily make up by just working more Now, granted, I won't be around.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:But you don't have to work and you've, you've, you've set in that peacefully for the last three years, so don't act like that's the problem. He said oh, I'm gonna go ahead and take a nap since you're going to work, good bye, don't sit here. Act like you struggle. Oh, I wish I could see my husband before the sun went down today.
Speaker 2:No, you don't.
Speaker 1:You're like oh, you can be home at 10 or 11 tonight. Good, good bye. You think you can be home a little earlier tonight.
Speaker 2:No, anywho. That's exactly why I say in the points that I talked about earlier in the episode, communication is amongst those five things that are going to be really important, outside of love, to keep the relationship moving forward. There's just going to be times where we're not going to be on the same page, we're just not going to like each other all the time and we're going to have to really rely on those other aspects of the relationship to carry us through until we can get to the other side. And that's going to be part of our work and that's going to be part of us fighting for our relationship. And we're going to do that through the trust, through the communication, through our shared responsibilities, through our tolerance and our quality time.
Speaker 1:Especially quality time, especially quality time.
Speaker 2:We're going to work it out, and you know, it makes me think about too, like when you're not even in the mood to like look at your partner, or you're just. You're in one of those weird stages where y'all just not feeling each other. The last thing you think you want to do is spend quality time, but that's one of the things that you need to do.
Speaker 1:Sometimes you got to go somewhere and we're just your spouse so you can look at that. But you know what I actually?
Speaker 2:still do like you, and I kid you not.
Speaker 1:I mean I don't need that because I've been obsessed with mine.
Speaker 2:We've had moments where we've gone out to dinner or something and we just kind of like look at each other, or I'll catch him like looking at me, or I'll look at him and I'm just like I actually do like you Like it's really hella fun hanging out with you. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:What can I say? My fun guy.
Speaker 2:So anywho, yeah, so shared responsibilities kind of went off on the tangent.
Speaker 1:Took up a lot of time because my husband got so defensive for some reason and I don't know why you ain't been a cop for me, I didn't come for you.
Speaker 2:I was speaking in generalities. I don't even know if that's a word.
Speaker 1:General allelies. You know I can't talk.
Speaker 2:You know what? I can't either, because I'm hungry.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna feed you something soon.
Speaker 2:So yeah. So I think that's gonna take us right into hour. Two cents.
Speaker 1:Messy time which.
Speaker 2:I mean it's really not messy, because I feel as though it kind of like really talks about what we were talking about today. Let's see, oh, I'm in the wrong section.
Speaker 1:I'm like what am I looking at? She can't control her phone.
Speaker 2:I can't. Okay, it's a little lengthy. I've been married for 30 years, but I've never been in love with my wife Damn Okay. My wife is my best friend and she has been my best friend since before we were married. I was deeply and passionately in love with the girlfriend I had before my wife, and no, it wasn't just. I'm old enough now to fully understand the difference. However, she turned out to be an awful person. I'm still in love with the idea of her, not the person she actually is, and I think I will always carry a torch for the idea of her. My wife is on the opposite end of the spectrum and the contrasting, positive relationship we've developed was incredibly refreshing.
Speaker 2:So is it dishonest to tell my wife I love her? Not at all. My wife is my best friend and I love her as my best friend. My wife, like all people, has her flaws, but she is the best human being I have ever met. I have never felt worthy of her love and friendship.
Speaker 2:I feel this way mainly because, if my wife were to ask me if I was truly in love with her, I would be compelled to lie and say yes, because the truth will be such a painful betrayal of all we've worked together to build and achieve over the past 30 years. I've never confided in anyone with this secret for fear that it will somehow get back to my wife and hurt her. I even hesitated to put this online anonymously. But the end of my life is near and I wanted someone to know that if you can't always get what you want in life, for me I will never know a deep and passionate love again. I count myself fortunate to have known such a love once in my life. However, I count myself more fortunate to have been spent decades with my best friend. It seems that the Rolling Stones played the anthem to my life. You can't always get what you want, but I think it's safe to say that we both got what we needed, and when I take a hard look at those around me of similar age, we are truly lucky.
Speaker 2:I don't really feel better for getting this off my chest. It was somewhat cathartic to write it out, but this, like other secrets that will do more harm than good, will be taken to my grave. It does make me wonder how many painful secrets my own parents and grandparents took to their graves. It is the greatest gift that we gave our children that they will never appreciate until they give such a gift to their children. What are your thoughts about that, especially that end part? Because, like going back to the beginning of the episode when we talk about, when you look at marriages who have sustained 50 years of marriage, 60 years of marriage, do you really think they got through all of that?
Speaker 1:Holding hands, being happy and just so in love. No, you don't. My response to that, what you just that essay you just read is the essay. I would argue that he was in love with his wife Because he said that she was his best friend. And they had a beautiful life together. They had good times. I would just argue that it just didn't feel the same way as the previous girl.
Speaker 2:As he felt about the girlfriend.
Speaker 1:It doesn't mean that you wasn't in love with her. It just didn't feel that way. Or maybe he loved her, but not in love with her. No, I feel like he was in love with her, because you can love somebody and walk away. You know what I'm saying? You have to have a certain thing that occasionally rekindles in order to keep you entertained.
Speaker 1:And keep you there To go in with the being in love, loving and loyalty. It all goes in together. It's kind of like a revolving door. So I would say that he, I would say you live a good life, so don't complain. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I think for me that makes me really. It kind of just makes me really think about how different love is for men and women. Right, women, we can get very caught up in the emotional Right and we can get very caught up in, like the idea and the theatrics of relationships and love and stuff. But listening to that and thinking about the gravity in which, when a man has really decided that you are his person or that you are going to be his wife or that he's in love with you, it's like the lens in which you guys look through love is very different. You know what I mean. So, like, as he's describing friendship, it's like it sounds so beautiful because outside of it's almost like looking at the pretty girl and the girl who's not so pretty right. But the girl who's not so pretty is the one who gets his attention and the one he marries and spends the rest of his life with, because outside of physical beauty, she is beautiful because she can make him laugh. She, you know, he thinks that she can be a great mother to his future children. She has a sustenance when they talk, she can hold a conversation you know what I'm saying as opposed to the girl who's just like a beautiful girl, like the girlfriend.
Speaker 2:He was in love with her for whatever reason. We don't know why he was in love with her, but he created a beautiful life with his wife of 30 plus years, right. So there was more aspects other than love that helped him to sustain a 30 year marriage that he is proud, that he's proud of, right, he's proud he's proud of how he said they were able to have 30 years together. They built a beautiful life together. He's never known anybody as great as her. She's been a friend to him and that's beautiful. You know what I mean? Like that's absolutely beautiful. And that was. He didn't talk about how in love and obsessed he was over his wife because the way he kind of like you know how he put it he didn't even love her, but he did, like I said, I think I absolutely do think he did as well, I think, of the downfall is he's trying to compare it to.
Speaker 2:The. I probably trying to compare the feeling you think that he got when he had the girlfriend and then met his wife. But it's just so interesting to me that he had the girlfriend who he thought he was in love with, but it was something about his. He wasn't in love with but there was something about his wife that made him want to marry her.
Speaker 1:I would say count your blessings. A lot of people just end up with the wrong person, and you seem like you ended up with a good one.
Speaker 2:And you built a good life. Well, guys, I thought that was a really good discussion.
Speaker 1:I thought you, you, you sunned me a lot of times. I would Sunned me, sunned you. Yeah, you played me like you tried to put me in my place. I'm talking, I'm talking. Yeah, we can have a conversation over here about this.
Speaker 2:Am I going to be in trouble?
Speaker 1:You nasty.
Speaker 2:This has been another episode of life after I do With your hosts, nisha G and Motelito. New episodes every Wednesday. Do not forget to follow us if you are not already on Instagram, tik Tok, facebook and YouTube, at lifeafteridoopodcast. If you would like to write into us or you want us to discuss a topic that you are interested in, don't forget to write into us at lifeafteridoopodcast, at gmailcom, and until then, we will catch you all next week. Peace, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, yes, I think. Hey, hey, why won't you touch the side? No, be, okay, you can see that I got something under my yes, that I saved the sky by just keeping it in my eyes. It's so neat, right? It's so cute. Do you likemillion dollar already? Yeah, I think. See you again, yeah.